Hey guys. A noob question sorry.
Will a new router make Any difference if i use Ethernet/Lan anyway?
I Got an Old dlink Ac router, and was considering an Asus ax router. Will it change anything though? I played some fifa yerstedsay but it lagged as hell when on wifi.
I was on wifi since my Lan connection kept disconnecting. When i configure its okay, then when i test the connection speed it makes an error. When i go into the game also it wont work.

I'm a single 36 y/o man. I've been following the baby steps since 2016. Got out of debt in 2018 and am now worth 175k. I've got 138k in my retirements and the rest in single stocks (80% are employer stock options that have vested).
I am considering buying a house but I'd have to save now and save hard. I could maybe get 100k -150k in 3 ish years, if my career goes well.I am primarily looking in Florida which seems like demand won't get too crazy. Although I hear insurance is expensive. if so I could buy and fulfill Dave Ramsey requirements (15 year / 25 % of take.home). I also expect to get at least one big promotion by then and I am working hard to.
My question is. Would this be worth it? I'm looking at 3 more years of working my ass off and saving a ton. But, I would be in a good financial position on the other end of it. I'm just not really that motivated to be a home owner. I don't buy that they will go up indefinitely and being a renter, with roommates gives me so much flexibility and lack of headache. But rents do change and I have had to move often. I would say that 50% of my motivation to get a house is his encouragement. But a lot of his reasoning is if you are going to start a family, and I don't see that in my future.

\I am playing on PC, using a Microsoft Xbox One Controller*
Currently, my bind for Left Stick Pressed (LSP) is "Edit". But because of the Tactical Sprint being a separate thing to Sprinting, I wanted to change my binds as previously, I have been using the Auto-Sprint feature.
I wanted to have my LSP bind to Sprint (Tactical Sprint) when in "Combat Mode" and LSP binded to Edit when in "Build Mode". But when I go to change the bind from Edit to Sprint in the Build Mode controller binds tab, it also changes it to Sprint in the Combat Mode.
When I change it, it should be Sprint in Combat Mode, and Edit in Build Mode. However, this is not the case. Whenever I change one LSP bind in one of the modes, it automatically applies it to the other.

You won't believe this, but I swear on my life, it's the truth. I think I'm losing my goddamn mind. I have to... okay, okay, I need to start from the beginning. See, I've been dabbling in lucid dreaming lately. Been having these vivid, messed up nightmares, you see... I just wanted some semblance of control over my mental state, you know?
I felt like therapy wasn't cutting it anymore, I needed something more, so I gotten into this lucid dreaming thing. But the things I've seen, the encounters I've had, they've changed me, man. I've gotta get this out, gotta let the world know about this shit 'cause its importance... it can't be overstated.
So here's the thing, in my lucid dreams, I've been having these bizarre experiences. In the dreams, waking up suspended over an abyss, right? Surrounding me, there's this sterile, white room, bathed in blinding lights, and in the distance, a glass pane. Can't exactly make out what's behind it, and it paints this real surreal scene.
At first, it didn't bother me much. I woke up, had this lingering unease the whole day but shrugged it off. But then the next few times, as I regained lucidity in my dreams, the same scenario would play out. At first, I could do the usual stuff, you know, flying around and the likes, but then the dream would always, without fail, transition into this... this suspension above the abyss.
I'd be strapped in place with ropes or chains, my limbs stretched out toward the cool walls of this clinical, white room. And beneath me, just infinite darkness. It felt like gazing into the maw of oblivion, and it was... it was downright petrifying.
The dread, man. The absolute fucking dread. In particular that glass pane in the distance and the infinite abyss below me, it was eating away at me. I started wondering what was behind the glass, and what, if anything, was at the bottom of that godforsaken hole. Its vast, infinite expanse was just pulling me in, gnawing at my sanity. It's hard to describe, you know? It's not something you can just put into words.
Soon, it became a nightly routine. Almost every single dream ended with me suspended over that abyss, and this paralyzing sense of dread seeping into me, becoming more and more prominent. Eventually, I decided I had to stop, I couldn't go on like this. I spoke to my therapist about it, and they said it might be a manifestation of some negative childhood experiences, and advised me to quit lucid dreaming for the time being. It wasn't doing me any good, they said.
I upped my meds, and tried something else, but no matter what I did, I couldn't shake off the lucidity. It's weird because in the past, becoming lucid required effort, with reality checks, dream journaling, and whatnot. But now, even when I set the intention to not lucid dream, I found myself more lucid than ever, and always, without fail, ended up above the abyss.
At one point, I tried to inspect my body in the dream, and I think I was naked. I noticed something on my arm, like a small needle. I realized it was an IV drip. Something was being pumped into me. I freaked out, man. What the hell was happening? Was I part of some fucked up mind control experiment? Was I being drugged? I couldn't make sense of it all.
Soon after noticing the IV, I saw shadows moving behind the glass pane. There were figures there, watching me. The terror I felt about these figures lurking behind the glass was even more pronounced than the dread induced by the abyss. It was all kinds of messed up, but amidst the fear, I felt this sudden urge to know more.
So I shouted out, "Hey! Who's there? Talk to me, you creepy fucks!"
To my surprise, a voice crackled to life over the speakers. It said, "We've never seen someone maintain lucidity to this extent. Your perceptive abilities are impressively consistent. How did you achieve this?"
"I don't fucking know", I said. "It's not like I want to be here. Is this even real?"
The voice replied, "Yes, this is happening. This is the actual reality, the true nature of reality."
"What the fuck? You say my dreams are reality? You'll have to prove that for me to believe you at all", I said.
"You will see by the consistency of this reality", the voice said. "But first, demonstrate to us that you are indeed lucid enough for us to continue this conversation. It's not something we usually do. It might, however, be a path to conquer the darkness."
And then, like every other time, the dream ended.
I relayed the whole fucked up scenario to my therapist, who, unsurprisingly, suggested it was a fantastical manifestation of my own fears. My subconscious testing boundaries, pushing limits, trying to get under my skin. But when I asked them what to do, they proposed a plan: continue engaging with the dream. Try to spot inconsistencies in its logic. After all, if it is all just a product of my mind, it is bound to falter at some point.
So, armed with my therapist's advice, I geared up for the next encounter. This time I would use reason and logic to disprove the dream for good.
The following night, I found myself in the all-too-familiar white room, suspended over nothingness, the shadowy figures behind the glass pane watching intently. The voice piped up again.
"Do you still question this reality?" it asked.
"Yeah", I said, "I think this is just my dream. You're just a figment of my unconscious mind. This is all nonsensical bullshit, and I'm going to prove you wrong."
"Alright", the voice responded. "You can try to disprove me. But first, would you like to hear what we're doing here? Then, you can judge for yourself."
"Yeah, sure. Whatever. What are you doing here?" I asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.
"We are doing research. Do you know what an ancestor simulation is?"
I felt my eyebrows furrow. "No fucking clue. What is it?"
Then, the voice from the speaker, which now claimed to be a researcher, started to explain.
"An ancestor simulation is essentially a theory, a simulated reality hypothesis", the voice explained. "It suggests that a perceived reality isn't 'real' but instead is running on some advanced computational system capable of artificially simulating an entire universe and consistent reality."
So far, this was all high-grade sci-fi crap, but I played along. "Why the hell would anyone do that?"
"For the purpose of analysis", the voice continued. "Imagine a civilization trying to understand its own past. In your case, your reality is an ancestor simulation of one of many civilizations that have died out because of catastrophic failures in the space-time continuum."
My head was spinning. "Catastrophic failures? What are you talking about?"
The voice said: "Humanity failed. Due to their own ignorance, they destroyed their planet. Climate change, political unrest, the development of superintelligent AI systems used for weaponry, they all fueled the chaos of World War III."
As the voice droned on, I tried to make sense of what was being told. Is this all just some nightmare spawned by my own fears, or could there be some truth to this? And if there was, then what did it mean for me, for us?
The voice added: "Do you know what a macroverse is?"
"Yeah, I've heard of macroverses", I said, "That's like, multiple universes, right?"
"Yes", the voice said. "We exist within a five-dimensional macroverse. The fifth dimension encompasses parallel universes. The concept of an ancestor simulation isn't completely accurate. It's an analogy, borrowed from Darwinian evolution, suggesting our universe is part of a branching system of universes."
I could barely keep up with this gibberish. "A branching system of...?"
"Universes", the voice repeated. "This system churns out various configurations, mutations of universes, one of which eventually became my universe, another one yours. It's as though universes are engaged in a Darwinian competition. The most adaptive ones, primarily those driven by human beings, last the longest. They compete to see which universe can ultimately conquer the darkness, can combat the laws of entropy."
This was just too much. It felt like some wild fever dream, a convoluted mess of sci-fi nonsense. But even so, there was an unnerving quality to the voice that made me want to listen, to understand. If what it said was true... well, I didn't want to think about that. Not yet.
For a bit I was just silent, my mind racing.
"Look", I finally muttered, "It's gonna be pretty damn hard to disprove you when I can't make heads or tails of the shit you're saying. You're telling me that universes depend on the quality of the humans inside them, and that they're evolving, or something? I... I don't get it. It's all just too fucking weird."
At that moment, the reality of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. How the hell was I supposed to logically dismantle something that sounded like the wildest sci-fi bullshit I'd ever heard, something I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around? Did not the complexity of the information indicate that it could not have possibly been just a dream; my own mind could not generate things I could never understand. It was impossible.
And just as I was starting to feel the edges of panic creeping in, the researcher's voice began to fade. My surroundings blurred, morphed, and then... the dream ended.
The next day, I was glued to my damn computer, trying to dig into these concepts the mysterious voice had been throwing around. I was googling my ass off – 'ancestor simulations', 'parallel universes', 'fifth dimension', 'Darwinian evolution of universes', 'universe branching' – all that crazy stuff. And here's the kicker: I found a ton of literature on the topics and, for the most part, it seemed to line up with what the voice had been saying. It seems the voice was speaking the truth; providing me with information I had not known before... indicating that... it could not have been a dream... he was stating the truth... and that was...
So, if I got this right, he was saying that there's a 'macroverse', some sort of branching system like a fucking phylogenetic tree in biological evolution. He seemed to be saying that humans are the apex predator of this macroverse, and that our universe, the one we're living in right now, is one of the failures. He mentioned some catastrophic shit that led to unrest, essentially sparking World War III and wiping us all out.
It all kinda made sense. And that scared the hell out of me.
I tried to get in touch with my therapist, to make sense of all this mind-bending shit, but I couldn't reach 'em. They were probably off on vacation or something, living a blissfully unaware life. So, I figured, fuck it. I'll bring it up in a week when we meet.
And so, I went back to the dreams. Same as always – suspended above the abyss, glass pane, and the all-too-familiar blindingly white room with clinical surfaces. And the same damn voice.
Eventually I said, "I think... I think I might believe you. It doesn't make complete sense to me... but I couldn't have possibly known the stuff you've been talking about. But, I don't get what my role in all this is. Why the hell are you telling me this? Isn't this going to screw with the simulation or something? I asked people online, and they all said it'd be a terrible idea to interfere with the simulation. It would mess with our causal chain and turn the whole experiment to shit. So what gives?"
The researcher's voice came over the speaker again, "Yes, that's a valid concern. But, we're running short on subjects. You're truly an anomaly, we haven't encountered someone quite like you before. Despite adjusting the dosage of the substances we've been administering, you just kept becoming lucid. I decided, perhaps a little unilaterally, to... interfere with the test subject. My hope is that by giving you a briefing, you could play a role in saving humanity, fighting against the darkness, and preserving the macroverse. This could ensure the perseverance of future generations in the succeeding universes."
I was flabbergasted. "What the hell? I'm no hero! I'm just a socially anxious nerd whose main hobbies are gaming and smoking weed. I'm just trying to get by. I don't understand what you're talking about, how the hell am I supposed to save anything?"
He replied, "You have noticed the darkness below you. This darkness is the cause of all suffering in the world. Are you familiar with the concept of theodicy?"
Confused, I retorted, "What the hell? Can you not speak in intellectual mumbo jumbo for a second?"
The researcher explained, "Theodicy is a theological concept that questions why, if God is benevolent, there is suffering in the world. What's your take on that?"
I shrugged, "I don't know, I'm agnostic. But if I were to guess, I think it's because humans have free will. Suffering in the world is due to free will, you know?"
"Wrong", the researcher interrupted. "There is no free will. Your universe's neuroscience has already established this. Psychological studies have proven that humans do not have control over their own actions. The laws of physics concur with this, and philosophy mostly agrees too. So free will can't be the root of suffering."
"Alright, man. I'm not a scientist. But yeah, I think I've heard about these neuroscience experiments. The ones where people's brain waves indicated they had decided to open their hands before they were consciously aware of deciding to do so. So yeah, maybe there's something about unconscious decision-making. But personally, I don't care much. I feel like I have the illusion of free will and that's good enough, so why should it bother me? What's the point?"
"The point is, free will isn't the source of suffering in the world."
"Oh, so this is a philosophical game to you? If free will isn't the source, then God must be evil, is that it?"
"Quite the contrary", he said, "God isn't evil. The source of suffering is the darkness beneath you - what you've been referring to as the 'abyss'."
Startled, I questioned, "How do you know I've been calling it that?"
He spoke with an unnerving confidence, "I can read your mind. With all the tools at my disposal, I can perceive every aspect of your simulated experience. Thus, I know you've been aware of the 'abyss'. It's been speaking to you, hasn't it? Initially, it inspired dread. But now, how does it make you feel?"
Hesitant, I confessed, "I... I don't know. I feel... drawn to it. It's as though it's always been there, long before you began speaking to me."
With a gravity in his voice, he explained, "It's been spreading, much like a cosmic virus. It's consuming the macroverses, fostering political unrest, cultivating ignorance, encouraging indifference towards the problems of the world, toward human suffering. It sows seeds of evil within the hearts of men, inciting chaos, destruction, cruelty, and hatred. All the atrocities throughout history—the crucifixion of Christ, the world wars—they all stem from the abyss."
I was at a loss for words and the dream came to an abrupt end. The exhaustion I felt was immense, as the conversation was too overwhelming to fully comprehend. I felt as though I couldn't take any more of this, and when I look at the real world, it feels as though the abyss had a point. I see constant storms of negativity on social media platforms like Twitter where hate and spite reign supreme. The threats of nuclear war, super-intelligent AI displacing human jobs, and the existential fear, in a world that feels increasingly alien to all of us.
We haven't truly solved any of our problems. With the advent of general AI and the proliferation of weapons that could cause unparalleled mass destruction, the state of our world is precarious. A resurgence of imperialism and authoritarianism, a decline in freedom and democracy, and an onslaught of hatred from all corners - we are being besieged on all sides.
But these issues aren't the fault of any single individual or decision-maker. It is systemic. The very nature of these systems is causing the suffering. The researcher had posited that the abyss was the root cause of this suffering. But perhaps, the abyss is merely a mirror, reflecting what was already there.
When I thought about it, all the tragedies in human history, the atrocities of wars, mass shootings, serial killers - haven't we built a culture that's obsessed with these terrible deeds? True crime and horror, some of the most successful genres out there. Our entertainment media is steeped in violence and negativity. Have we not already succumbed to the darkness? Hadn't the abyss simply revealed what was already in the hearts of humans?
Did humanity truly deserve to persevere? Were we, who have enslaved and harmed countless animals, we who have destroyed the biosphere at large, who have exploited everything around us for personal gain; were we fit to be considered the 'apex predator'? Are we really the saviors of the universe? Would a universe without humans be all that bad, really?
I became less and less engaged with the researcher. His talks, once intriguing, now felt dull and uninspiring. I drifted through my days in a daze, ignoring therapy sessions and the concerned calls from my therapist. My thoughts were consumed by the abyss. At times, I could see a creeping darkness encroach upon the corners of my vision.
People tried to reach out to me, but their words faded into mere mumbles. My real-life contacts dwindled, and I found myself caring less and less about the world around me. Social media, once a platform for connection, was deleted. It had devolved into a cesspool of negativity and relentless bickering - something I no longer had the energy to deal with.
In my dreams, the true reality, I stopped paying attention to the researcher. His words became incoherent mumbles as the abyss came ever closer, almost as if it was embracing me. It seeped into my waking reality, slowly but surely taking over my life.
The burden of humanity's torments is too heavy for me to bear. I cannot resist the grim truth of our existence - the world that is destined to be a hotbed for suffering. It isn't anyone's fault; it is simply the way the world was designed to be. I had to accept the harsh truth that humanity is on a path to its own demise. The project of humanity, it seems, is doomed to fail.
Eventually, in one of my dreams, a siren's wail ripped through the silence, accompanied by flashing red lights that bathed the room in a stark, blood-like glow. The researcher's voice, suddenly urgent, pulled me back into focus.
The researcher spoke one last time: "I'm sorry to say this, but your universe appears to be doomed. It's time for us to part ways."
Suddenly, the shackles that bound my arms and legs were released by some unseen mechanism. I was falling, plunging into the abyss that lay below. I was enveloped by darkness, an unending and eternal void that swallowed all light. No longer did I dream, there was only the darkness — an expanse of infinite obscurity.
Strangely enough, I've found acceptance in my fate. I see it now as my mission to disseminate this knowledge, a burden that is not just my own but one that should be shared collectively. It's our shared destiny, and to all who are willing to listen, I tell them of the abyss, the dark entity that lies beneath us all.
It is the foundation of our reality, the source of all our suffering. My story is a warning, a revelation of the truth that lies behind our existence. Now, all I see is darkness, and my greatest wish is for this truth to spread. Like a virus, it should infect us all, enlighten us all, and unite us all in our shared fate.

So I've watched til EP 8 of Tengoku Daimakyou, and all of them were in English at first (I wanted to watch in Japanese, but that wasn't even available), but now, EP 9 is in fucking Spanish and I can't change it anywhere?
When I go to languages it only says Spanish and Portuguese. I've tried changing the language of Disney+ but that won't work either. Can anyone help me out here?

I've been with my partner with ADHD for 6 years. And recently I realized that he might be having ADHD because years long of confusion now makes sense. But the thing is, I am too exhausted. I am exhausted from being the one who understands all the time, and forgives him all the time. He has hurt me on multiple occasion from abandoning me while I was crying, to forgetting important things, to even emotionally cheating on me. I love him and I know he loves me too. But I am too much exhausted of being with him. I fear all the time when will be the next time he would hurt me, abandon me. I want to feel like a normal partner and hence I broke up. He struggles to change. I asked him to seek therapy but he said he will only seek therapy if we ready to be together but he wont do it for himself (as he thinks its not something that affects him). I appreciate how he is ready to seek therapy for me but what about me?! I need so much time and space to heal from all the trauma he gave me and after reading so many posts on adhd relationships, all i know is its the non adhd partner who needs to adjust mostly. How on earth can someone be so patient? Is it wrong to expect him to change for himself but not for relationship because I honestly prefer to be with someone who is peace with themself and also arent adhd. can adhd people have a equally happy relationship?

There is a common misunderstanding here that the Hard Problem is, somehow, scientific...it's just that we haven't yet figured out how to solve it. Another misunderstanding is that the problem concerns consciousness itself – that there is “no way to explain it” or “it just doesn't make sense”.
The truth is that hard problem is purely conceptual. It arises purely from a contradiction between two different concepts, represented by words, and the reason it is “hard” is because it is impossible to resolve the contradiction without breaking the concepts. So it is the same sort of problem as “How is it possible for a triangle to have four sides?” This isn't just hard; it is impossible. When Chalmers called it “hard”, he was contrasting it to “easy” – it might have been better to call them the “impossible problem” and contrast it with “possible problems”.
The two concepts which mutually contradict are materialism and consciousness, and they arise directly from the only reasonable definitions of the words that refer to them.
“Consciousness” refers to experiences – both ours and those of any other conscious entities, which presumably includes most animals.
“Materialism” means “the belief that reality is made only of material entities, and nothing else” (which obviously includes what they are doing). This concept in its modern form is directly connected to science, but it goes all the way back to two pre-Socratic philosophers (Ancient Atomism (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)). The concept of a material world is derived from the material world we directly experience, but that isn't the material world of materialism. It can't be, because that “material world” is dependent on our senses and our brain. The real Sun – the Sun of materialism – isn't the one we experience shining down on us. It is necessarily entirely independent of anything we experience, and would exist even if life on Earth had never evolved.
Once we have established that these are two valid concepts, and that the words in question do indeed refer to those concepts, then the hard problem is unavoidable and impossible to solve. If we try to define the word “consciousness” to mean anything other than subjective experiences then it doesn't make the actual thing disappear. That's just an empty word game, and forces people to define something like “qualia” to explicitly prevent any further word games. It doesn't solve the problem. So the only option left is to try to change the definition of “materialism”. But how could we possibly do that? The material world of mainstream science really is completely independent of any consciousness – it is an inherent part of that concept that it would exist even if the cosmos contained no life or no conscious animals. So materialists are left with two options of how to try to escape from the contradiction. The first is to deny that there is any such thing as consciousness – either that “it is an illusion”, or that it simply doesn't exist (which is eliminative materialism). Neither of these approaches works. If it is an illusion then you still have to explain how the illusion is possible, which just leads straight back to the hard problem, and claiming it doesn't exist convinces almost nobody, for very obvious reasons. The second is to accept that exists, and then try to find a way to eliminate the contradiction, which is impossible, because the contradiction has arisen from mutually contradictory concepts. Materialism logically entails that consciousness doesn't exist.
The reason materialists can't get their heads around this is that the belief that science is true – or the closest thing to truth that we can ever get – forms the foundation of their belief system. Everything else they believe is built on top of this foundation, which they believe to be unassailable. Therefore, when presented with the above contradiction they have a choice between:
(a) Denying the contradiction, even though they have no idea how to back up the denial with a rational argument.
(b) Accepting that the foundation of their belief system is fundamentally broken, which means they are going to have to go back to square one and rethink everything they believe.
The reason this argument won't go away is that there will always be materialists who choose they easy option of denying logic instead of the much harder option of accepting the logic and rethinking their belief system. The irony is that the very same people are usually very scathing of other people who refuse to rethink their belief system when some scientific or logical problem in its foundation is exposed.
Accepting materialism is false may seem like it shatters the whole of science, but this is not actually the case. Some specific areas of science may need a rethink – especially the evolution of consciousness and some aspects of cosmology – but the overwhelming majority of science is left untouched. The only other area of science that is directly relevant is quantum mechanics (which is why I said "mainstream science" above). QM throws serious doubt on the question about whether the material world really is independent of our experiences of it. This is another materialistic taboo – one is not even allowed to consider that consciousness might have something to do with quantum mechanics, even though the act of observation – what a “measurement” means in QM – is causing as much conceptual confusion as the hard problem. In fact, these two problems are directly related, and it is only because of the ongoing prevalence of materialism that people refuse to consider that it is possible they are related. In both cases, what is missing is a Participating Observer.

3-Apr-2023

• Could you train a ChatGPT-beating model for $85,000 and run it in a browser? (https://simonwillison.net/2023/Ma17/beat-chatgpt-in-a-browse )
• HuggingGPT: Solving AI Tasks with ChatGPT and its Friends in HuggingFace (https://arxiv.org/abs/2303.17580)
• Make loading weights 10-100x faster (https://github.com/ggerganov/llama.cpp/pull/613)
• AI-enhanced development makes me more ambitious with my projects (https://simonwillison.net/2023/Ma27/ai-enhanced-development/)
• Italian privacy regulator bans ChatGPT (https://www.politico.eu/article/italian-privacy-regulator-bans-chatgpt/)
• Vocode–an open source library for building LLM applications you can talk to. (https://github.com/vocodedev/vocode-python)
• Join the Responsible AI Challenge (https://future.mozilla.org/builders-challenge/)
• Twitter recommendation source code now available to all on GitHub (https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1641876892302073875)
• Docker and Hugging Face Partner to Democratize AI (https://www.docker.com/blog/docker-and-hugging-face-partner-to-democratize-ai/)
• GPT-4 saves doggo’s life (https://the-decoder.com/gpt-4-saves-doggos-life/)
• 'He Would Still Be Here': Man Dies by Suicide After Talking with AI Chatbot, Widow Says (https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkadgm/man-dies-by-suicide-after-talking-with-ai-chatbot-widow-says)
• Interact ChatGPT via phone call (https://callsam.ai/)

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4-Apr-2023

• 30B model now needs only 5.8GB of RAM? How? (https://twitter.com/jeremyphoward/status/1642726595436883969)
• SudoLang: A Powerful Pseudocode Programming Language for LLMs (https://medium.com/javascript-scene/sudolang-a-powerful-pseudocode-programming-language-for-llms-d64d42aa719b)
• Adobe Firefly vs. MidJourney AI image generation (https://twitter.com/DrJimFan/status/1642921475849203712)
• State-of-the-art open-source chatbot, Vicuna-13B, just released model weights (https://twitter.com/lmsysorg/status/1642968294998306816)
• Introducing Agents in Haystack: Make LLMs resolve complex tasks
• Models guide (https://github.com/Crataco/ai-guide/blob/main/guide/models.md)
• Marvin: a batteries-included library for building AI-powered software. Marvin's job is to integrate AI directly into your codebase by making it look and feel like any other function (https://github.com/PrefectHQ/marvin)

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5-Apr-2023

• Stanford just released a MASSIVE 386-page report on the state of AI. (https://twitter.com/nonmayorpete/status/1643012248720523264)
• Large Language Model Observability (https://monitoring2.substack.com/p/large-language-model-observability)
• Goldman Sachs Predicts 300 Million Jobs Will Be Lost Or Degraded By Artificial Intelligence (https://www.forbes.com/sites/jackkelly/2023/03/31/goldman-sachs-predicts-300-million-jobs-will-be-lost-or-degraded-by-artificial-intelligence/?sh=a8d292b782b4)
• Believe Your Assignment is AI-Immune? Let's Put it to the Test (https://automated.beehiiv.com/p/believe-assignment-aiimmune-lets-put-test)
• Growth of AI Through a Cloud Lens (https://mitchellh.com/writing/ai-through-a-cloud-lens)
• Someone Added ChatGPT to a Furby (https://twitter.com/jessicard/status/1642671752319758336)
• you can greatly increase GPT-4's effective context size by asking it to compress your prompts using its own abbreviations. (https://twitter.com/NoLongerBennett/status/1642909851947810817)
• Microsoft Semantic Kernel Enables LLM Integration with Conventional Programs (https://www.infoq.com/news/2023/03/microsoft-semantic-kernel/)
• Open-source IDE powered by AI agents that do the work for you (https://github.com/e2b-dev/e2b)
• Converse with ChatGPT inside VS Code (BYO OpenAI API Key) (https://github.com/yagil/ChatIDE)
• Promptr is a CLI tool for operating on your codebase using GPT. (https://github.com/ferrislucas/promptr)

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6-Apr-2023

• CAMEL: Communicative Agents for “Mind” Exploration of Large Scale Language Model Society (https://github.com/lightaime/camel)
• Improving Large Language Models with External Knowledge and Automated Feedback (https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/research/group/deep-learning-group/articles/check-your-facts-and-try-again-improving-large-language-models-with-external-knowledge-and-automated-feedback/)
• AI is entering an era of corporate control (https://www.theverge.com/23667752/ai-progress-2023-report-stanford-corporate-control)
• Simulating an FTP server at ftp.disney.com with ChatGPT4 (https://www.filestash.app/2023/04/01/chat-gpt-acting-as-a-ftp-serve)
• OpenAI's approach to AI safety (https://openai.com/blog/our-approach-to-ai-safety)
• Segment Anything: model from facebook (https://ai.facebook.com/blog/segment-anything-foundation-model-image-segmentation/)
• Chinese Gaming Firm Appoints AI Robot As CEO, Sees 10 Percent Growth In Share Price (https://news.abplive.com/technology/chinese-gaming-firm-netdragon-websoft-appoints-ai-robot-as-ceo-sees-10-percent-growth-in-share-price-1589029)
• The Language Wars Are Over: ChatGPT Won (https://bourgoin.dev/posts/programming-languages/)
• JARVIS, a system to connect LLMs with ML community (https://github.com/microsoft/JARVIS)
• I’m an ER doctor: Here’s what I found when I asked ChatGPT to diagnose my patients (https://inflecthealth.medium.com/im-an-er-doctor-here-s-what-i-found-when-i-asked-chatgpt-to-diagnose-my-patients-7829c375a9da)

​
10-Apr-2023

• The LLama Effect: How an Accidental Leak Sparked a Series of Impressive Open Source Alternatives to ChatGPT (https://thesequence.substack.com/p/the-llama-effect-how-an-accidental)
• Stanford benchmarks and compares numerous Large Language Models (https://crfm.stanford.edu/helm/latest/?group=core_scenarios)
• Fine-tuning with LoRA: create your own avatars & styles! (https://www.kix.in/2023/04/07/sd-lora-finetuning/)
• Thinking companion, companion for thinking (https://www.oneusefulthing.org/p/thinking-companion-companion-for)
• How ChatGPT is changing the job hiring process, from the HR department to coders (https://www.cnbc.com/2023/04/08/chatgpt-is-being-used-for-coding-and-to-write-job-descriptions.html)
• Harness the power of ChatGPT inside the GDB debugger! (https://github.com/pgosaChatGDB)
• DoctorGPT diagnoses your software's failures (https://github.com/ingyamilmolinadoctorgpt)
• Self-hosted AI coding assistant (https://github.com/TabbyML/tabby)

​
11-Apr-2023

• GPT-5 arriving by end of 2023 (https://www.reddit.com/ChatGPT/comments/12gkt3z/gpt5_arriving_by_end_of_2023/)
• 5 Lessons Learned from Adding ChatGPT to a Mature Product (https://blog.trymito.io/5-lessons-learned-from-adding-chatgpt-to-a-mature-product/)
• ChatGPT with long-term memory (https://the-decoder.com/memorygpt-is-like-chatgpt-with-long-term-memory/)
• GitHub Copilot stealing other people's copyright comment blocks (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35516887)
• Lost big client because of ChatGPT (https://www.reddit.com/freelanceWriters/comments/12ff5mw/it_happened_to_me_today/)
• LLMs won't eat the world-they will just homogenize it (https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/23674696/chatgpt-ai-creativity-originality-homogenization)
• Edit Anything by Segment-Anything (https://github.com/sail-sg/EditAnything)
• A curated list of awesome ChatGPT resources, including libraries, SDKs, APIs, and more (https://github.com/eon01/awesome-chatgpt)
• TurboPilot: self-hosted copilot clone which uses the library behind llama.cpp to run the 6 Billion Parameter Salesforce Codegen model in 4GiB of RAM. (https://github.com/ravenscroftj/turbopilot)
• Multi-task Language Understanding on MMLU (https://paperswithcode.com/sota/multi-task-language-understanding-on-mmlu)
• Telegram ChatGPT Concierge Bot (+ Voice!) (https://github.com/RafalWilinski/telegram-chatgpt-concierge-bot)

​
12-Apr-2023

• Jailbreaking AI Chatbots Is Tech’s New Pastime
• OpenAI’s Bug Bounty Program (https://openai.com/blog/bug-bounty-program)
• GPT-4 Outperforms Elite Crowdworkers, Saving Researchers $500,000 and 20,000 hours (https://www.artisana.ai/articles/gpt-4-outperforms-elite-crowdworkers-saving-researchers-usd500-000-and-20)
• GPT-4 gets a B on my quantum computing final exam! (https://scottaaronson.blog/?p=7209)
• GPT-4 is highly susceptible to prompt injections and will leak its system prompt with very little effort applied (https://twitter.com/alexalbert__/status/1645909635692630018)
• Chinese tech giant Alibaba to release ChatGPT rival (https://www.dw.com/en/chinese-tech-giant-releases-chatgpt-rival/a-65275609)
• Generative AI-enabled compliance for software development (https://github.blog/2023-04-11-generative-ai-enabled-compliance-for-software-development/)
• Chunking Strategies for LLM Applications (https://www.pinecone.io/learn/chunking-strategies/)
• Maximizing the Potential of LLMs: A Guide to Prompt Engineering (https://www.ruxu.dev/articles/ai/maximizing-the-potential-of-llms/)
• Summary Of Adapter Based Performance Efficient Fine Tuning (PEFT) Techniques For Large Language Models (https://smashinggradient.com/2023/04/11/summary-of-adapter-based-performance-efficient-fine-tuning-peft-techniques-for-large-language-models/)
• GPT–LLM native macOS app with time travel, versioning, search (https://thellm.app/)
• Microsoft Kiota: CLI for generating an API client to call OpenAPI-described API (https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/openapi/kiota/overview) (https://devblogs.microsoft.com/microsoft365dev/you-can-now-use-microsoft-kiota-within-visual-studio-code/)
• DeepSpeed Chat: Easy, Fast and Affordable RLHF Training of ChatGPT-like Models at All Scales (https://github.com/microsoft/DeepSpeed/tree/masteblogs/deepspeed-chat)
• Distributed² Machine Learning notebooks with Elixir and Livebook (https://news.livebook.dev/distributed2-machine-learning-notebooks-with-elixir-and-livebook---launch-week-1---day-2-1aIlaw)
• Large language model evaluation and workflow framework from Phase AI. (https://github.com/wgryc/phasellm)

​
13-Apr-2023

• Dolly 2.0: Open Instruction-Tuned LLM (https://www.databricks.com/blog/2023/04/12/dolly-first-open-commercially-viable-instruction-tuned-llm)
• Building LLM applications for production (https://huyenchip.com/2023/04/11/llm-engineering.html)
• AI search engine for developers (https://www.phind.com/)
• Midjourney AI Guide (https://enchanting-trader-463.notion.site/Midjourney-AI-Guide-41eca43809dd4d8fa676e648436fc29c)
• Teaching Large Language Models to Self-Debug (https://arxiv.org/abs/2304.05128)
• Decreasing cold boot time in serverless GPUs(https://www.banana.dev/blog/turboboot)
• Use ChatGPT from WhatsApp (https://brightbot.chat/en/home)
• Yet another cache, but for ChatGPT (https://zilliz.com/blog/Yet-another-cache-but-for-ChatGPT)
• Excited by hype, CEO tells staff to use ChatGPT to build database of diseases (https://nwn.blogs.com/nwn/2023/04/chatgpt-hallucination-enterprise-use.html)
• I'm dating a chatbot trained on old conversations between me and my ex (https://www.reddit.com/OpenAI/comments/12696oq/im_dating_a_chatbot_trained_on_old_conversations/)
• Scaffolded LLMs as natural language computers (https://www.beren.io/2023-04-11-Scaffolded-LLMs-natural-language-computers/)
• Robot powered by GPT4 (https://twitter.com/DataChaz/status/1642558575502405637)
• ChatGPT – Who Owns the Content Created? (https://www.jdsupra.com/legalnews/chatgpt-who-owns-the-content-generated-2891692/) (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35191206)
• Collection of LLM resources that can be used to build products (https://github.com/imaureawesome-decentralized-llm)
• OpenAI releases Consistency Model for one-step generation (https://github.com/openai/consistency_models)
• GPT4 gets a 0 on Steven Landsbrug's undergrad econ exam (https://twitter.com/ATabarrok/status/1646185259866939394)
• emergent abilities of large language models (https://www.jasonwei.net/blog/emergence)
• Praetor, a lightweight finetuning data and prompt management tool (https://github.com/gkamer8/praetor-data)
• Replacing my best friends with an LLM trained on 500,000 group chat messages (https://www.izzy.co/blogs/robo-boys.html)

The giveaway where you also give back! I'm offering a quick trade for any valid steam key. If there's something on the list you want, make me a sensible offer and it will most likely be accepted. The list keeps on cycling so check back at any point as there may be something you like added later on!
I'm not after lists to look through, I want you to offer me your unwanted steam keys for games from this list of a similar value. Think of it like a book swap - take one and leave one. You get a game you want and the one you leave might be the one somebody else wants.
PLEASE NOTE: Due to the nature of the quick swap, most of these keys are from previous trades and donations and I have no way to verify them or check for region locks. Even with the best intentions from all sides, mistakes will be made and some of these keys may not work. I'll always send the key first and ask you to redeem before sending me anything to make sure they work for you.

How it works

1. You offer me any steam game(s) of a similar value to any of those in this list in the comments. Please comment first, don't just DM me.
2. I say yes if the games you want are still available and we trade. I'll DM you the keys first for you to redeem then you send me yours once you're happy they worked. Please also let me know of any region locks when we trade.
3. The keys you give me go back on the list ready to trade with someone else and the cycle starts again.

Games Available:

Always let me send you the key first so you can check it works

Tier 1 (Key value of £1 or less)

• 12 is better than 6
• Alcatraz Builder
• Alien Spidy
• Amerzone: The Explorer's Legacy (x3)
• Anomaly Korea
• Aura: Fate of the Ages
• Automatic War
• Aveyond 3-1: Lord of Twilight
• Bad Rats
• Bionic Commando: Rearmed (x2)
• Black Moon Chronicles
• Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines
• Commandos 2: Men of Courage
• Commandos 3: Destination Berlin
• Control Craft 2
• Crash Time 3
• Curse: The Eye of Isis (x3)
• Deadly 30 (x2)
• Deponia
• DESOLATE
• DOOM 64
• Dub Dash
• Ecchi Jack (NSFW)
• El Matador (x2)
• Explodemon
• Flashback (Classic)
• Garfield Kart (x3)
• Grav Blazer Squared
• Greed: Black Border
• Grotesque Tactics: Evil Heroes (x2)
• Hacker Evolution Source Code (x2)
• Hidden Shapes Animals - Jigsaw Puzzle Game
• Hotshot Racing
• Hue (x2)
• Idle Champions - Celeste Starter Pack (DLC)
• Imperial Glory
• Konung 2 (x2)
• Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail (x3)
• Manual Samuel
• Mata Hari
• Megarace 1 (x5)
• Megarace 2 (x3)
• Memories of a Vagabond
• Men of War
• Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
• Miner Wars 2081
• Mini Words: Top Movies
• NOT the Hero
• Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
• Onikira: Demon Killer
• Overcast: Walden and the Werewolf
• Overcooked 2: Surf 'n' Turf Pack (DLC)
• Paradox Soul
• Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic (x3)
• Pumped BMX Pro
• Puzzle Kingdoms (x2)
• Red Risk
• Safety First!
• Save the Dodos
• Slain: Back From Hell
• Smoke and Sacrifice (NA Region Locked)
• Soulcraft
• Space Empires V
• Stacking
• Still Life
• Survivalist (x2)
• S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
• Syberia
• Syberia II (x2)
• The Next Door
• Theatre of War 2: Africa 1943 (x2)
• Time Lock VR 1
• UFO: Afterlight
• Unstable Portal
• Vault Cracker
• Voyage: Journey to the Moon (x2)
• Warrior Kings

Tier 2 (Key value of £1 - £2)

• Autonauts (x2)
• Autonauts vs Piratebots
• Beat Hazard (x3)
• Blacksad: Under the Skin
• Crazy Machines: Golden Gears
• Darwinia (x3)
• Darwinia Soundtrack
• Game Dev Studio
• King's Bounty: Armored Princess
• Multiwinia
• Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
• 🧠 OUT OF THE BOX
• Silver Chains
• Time Loader

Tier 3 (Key value of £2 or more)

• Bomber Crew Deluxe Edition (x2)
• Comedy Night
• Golfing in Aether
• Horror Story: Hallowseed
• Mysteries of the Past: Shadow of the Daemon (Delisted)
• Snooker 19
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2

I'm depending on people being honest for this to work and I'll keep track of where all keys come from so I can report any abuse to the mods. Please don't re-trade these keys any further since I can't guarantee they will work and I don't know if there are any region locks. I don't want you to be accused of scamming! I'll always ask you to redeem first in a trade before sending me any keys but if you choose not to redeem as we trade then I won't be held responsible for any future problems as I have given you fair warning.

Valuing Trades

We'll use gg.deals UK key shops price as a way to compare the value of games. If a key shop price isn't available we'll use best judgement based on retail price and recent bundles. Key values change daily so if you notice something is in the wrong tier please let me know. To keep things accessible we'll cap key value at £2.
As a general rule I will usually accept any game in the same tier as a fair trade. I've also accepted trades with games at the top end of a lower tier for games at the bottom end of the next tier. We can trade multiples to even out values but they don’t need to be exact as long as the trade is reasonable. If I already have a surplus of a game you're offering, I may turn you down until the existing copies have been traded.
If anyone just wants to donate any keys that are no good to them to the list then I’m always grateful to receive them. Just DM me and I’ll add them. A huge thank you to those that have already donated keys to this project.

Region Locks

Any region locks I know about with be noted next to the affected games. I have no way to check so there may be others. I'll always go first in a trade so you can make sure the key works for you before sending me any of yours.

Why?

A short while ago I had some spare keys from bundles that I couldn't find a trade for. The traders with the games I wanted already owned the games I had and the traders who wanted the games I had didn't have anything I'd want in return. I was thinking of giving up and giving away my keys but then I had an idea - If I was willing to accept any game in return, I could trade with those that wanted my games and break the trading deadlocks for the more common, lower value games. I could add the games I didn't want myself back onto the list and if I ended up with a load of rubbish that nobody wanted then I'd only lost what I was willing to give away anyway.
Even though re-trading is nothing new, removing personal interest and accepting a trade for any game makes trading much more accessible to others - especially those with only a few spare keys. The idea was popular and it gained momentum. I also received some generous donations and the list grew into what you see above. Even though I don't get much from it myself (I do keep the occasional game that catches my eye) I am happy that I can help others get games they can play in exchange for keys they have no use for. The community has really come through with honesty, helping to grow this into something worthwhile.
Thanks everyone!
My IGSRep Page.

Assalamualaikum. I hope everyone's doing good.
The last thing i have time for rn before going to give my exam is typing out this post lolll, but i couldn't help it.
There were a few things i learned the hard way after getting married very young (18F), and being immature and inexperienced. It's good to learn thru mistakes, but better to just...not make those mistakes lol. So, i thought id share those things. Please feel free to add more tips, for me and for other sisters.

1. Be grateful. Stuff you appreciate the first month, youll likely start finding it not so special later. Youll start expecting more and more, which makes you very ungrateful. Dont get me wrong, don't settle for less, but don't let yourself get ungrateful. I, personally, kept wanting more and more. He does this, which is ❤️❤️ but he should also do this__. It was very damaging and wrong.
   
2. Don't expect. I'm not talking about the bare minimum (ie. Caring for you, loving you etc) I'm talking about things like "he'll surprise me on valentine's day" etc. Expectations result in disappointment often. It's better to not expect and be surprised, than to expect and be disappointed.
   
3. He wants to love you and help you if he loves you, yes, but not right after he's had a long day. He's a human, not a machine. Working is difficult. You deal with so much in a single day at work, and going home shouldn't bring more to go through. You contained yourself until he got home, now contain it more until hes relaxed. Have a smile on your face, hug him, kiss him, eat with him, have his clothes ready for him to change into, and then, calmly, vent. He'll listen better and he might vent too.
   
4. Having a 😒 face and attitude won't help with anything. Yeah, it will get you attention at first, but its pointless. Your husband wants a happy, positive wife. Not a puzzle they have to be solving at all times.
   
5. Hear me out on this one. This is kind of controversial and slightly going to expose us lol. Dont...cry infront of him....too often. It will desensitise him. Now ofcourse that's not the case for all men, but most men are wired the same way and will be desensitised to it. You want affection and tenderness from him. Save yourself from a desensitised husband. Let him melt everytime you cry, and let him put his entire love into comforting you.
   
6. Don't talk crap about your partner with anyone. No one. NO ONE. Not your mom, not your friends, not your moms friend, NO ONE. Just dont do it.
   

Thanks for reading. Hope this helped Insha'Allah.

An old friend of mine once told me never to go to Necro town. I asked him why but he just never gave me the answer. Looking far from my home town, Necro town looked abandoned and was never owned by anybody nearby. Whenever I look out into that town, I wonder about it. The unknown and its many mysteries.
My old friend seems to have lived in that place but he never did. It's as if he was making up a horror story about Necro town. But, I did what he told me to. Never go there. Ever.
I asked my parents about that place. They never knew anything about it except it's just a wasteland. Grandpa never knew about it either. Such a mystery as to why would my old friend prohibit me from entering but my dad said otherwise. "If you want to go there and explore the place, I guess you can. But you better be careful from strangers alright kid."
By the time I turned 14, the bully in my school keeps getting worse on me. I get slammed into a locker, get my head knocked out, and even beaten up. I really don't want to go back to school but how am I supposed to convince my parents that?
The reason I don't have any friends at school was mostly because they don't like me as a person. I expressed myself for who I am and yet I get mocked by them all the time. calling me many names like freak, loser, norm, or even Melvin the idiot. Was it because I'm different? I have no clue about them at all.
I tried to fight back but they just keep winning every time. So then, I run away from school in the middle of classes, lunch breaks, and activities but every time I do, a teacher always caught me down and send me to the principles office. I lied to them and said "Because I wanna get candy." Or "I forgot my books back home.". I don't want to tell them the truth because I knew how much big trouble I'm going to have if I do.
I tried escaping all over again and finally I made it one day. And whenever I escaped, I always go to my old friends house. We go into the woods to go fishing in the pond. I love seeing those shiny blue fishes in the waters because they're just so beautiful when I look at them in the afternoon.
My old friend's name is Brandon West. He's of course much older than me because he's about 64 years old and for some reason he got so much energy to keep himself moving. He always have his brown firm cane with him everywhere he goes. He tells me tales of ancient beings, heavens and hells, the Sturgeon, and the blue turbo.
I've asked about the blue turbo and all he said was. "He's a sad man." Sad man sounds like he's been through a lot.
The blue turbo was born in a world where flame people live. They all have special powers depending on their shape and colors of their bodies. Green flame, blue flame, red flame, etc. He grew up with lovely parents who have similar powers to his. His power is both his parents powers. In his childhood, he grew fond of his friends and family that he devoted his life to protect the good in life.
In his teenage years, he became an officer. Protecting the people who are in danger. It was starting to get dangerous for him, but that never means he won't give up.
In his late 20s, he became a well devoted guardian, fighting against the evil dark powers from beneath the world's surface. He loved everything that is good in life. He had a wife and son while being a guardian. Their relationship was strong and they did whatever it takes to enjoy life. But then one day, the world around them turned into a warfare. The evil dark powers are killing people whilst they fight back. He fought hard and won. But it was at a huge cost. He lost his wife and child right in front of his eyes. Lost what's left in the world. He fell to a deep depression, which he quit being a guardian and was never to be seen again.
Brandon always looked sad whenever he told me the blue turbo. It's as if that felt real and it did happen. But, it is compelling. I asked him about where did the blue turbo go. He said. "Don't know. But wherever he is, he'll still devote himself in life."
One day when I was 16, I escaped school again and this time it didn't go well. By the time I walked behind the basketball court, I was caught by the bully and his gang. "Well oh well. Looks like Melvin the idiot is trying to leave the school all by himself. You're really going to leave again just so that you'll get away from us? That ain't happening norm." They were going to beat me up badly, so I didn't waste anymore time as I ran away from them. I didn't know how fast I was at this point.
They kept following me as I ran on the sidewalk. I didn't want to look back because I knew very well that if I did, I'll slow down. The running footsteps behind me kept pacing towards me. I can hear the loud steps as if they're like the golem's foot. My breath is getting shallow the more I keep running and my legs began to grow numb and sore. But I never slowed down nor stop. I just kept running until I finally lost them.
"Get back here you freak!!"
"We're going to kill you loser!!"
Then, a road towards Necro Town appeared before me. The words from Brandon echoed inside my mind not to go in there. My heart beats in fear. The bully and his gang chasing behind me like I'm their food to eat. My legs are about to surrender to my exhaustion and I can feel every pain coming from my muscles.
I can hear the footsteps behind me as I think of any other options. There are no other ways to go except into Necro town. I don't want to be beaten up or killed. Then, every memory of myself being bullied by them flashes into my mind, making me very angry. I'm sick and tired of being their punching bag. It's time for me to fight back!
I stopped at my tracks and turned to face them. Face to face. They stood on their grounds before me. Laughing at me with mockery. I stood my grounds and prepared myself for the worst. "I'm tired of being your punching bag! It's time for me to stand up for myself! I'm not afraid of you!!" But I lied. I'm still scared of getting beaten up. All I want is for them to stop bullying me forever.
The bully rushes towards me and I was ready to punch him at any moment given. By the time he's in front of me, I missed my shot. The punishment for my failed attempt to punch him was getting knocked out by getting punched in the face. I fell to the ground, knocking my head against it. My body passed through the limits of entering Necro town. My head and shoulders lay on the Necro town grounds.
I was then slowly dragged into Necro town by the bully's gang. I can feel the painful sting on my back as I get dragged. Suddenly, before I went to sleep mode, I heard screams. The bully's scream fades far away and his gang gets slowly decreasing. My arms are dropped down. The hands that held me tight are loosened from my arms so fast. I can hear each of them screaming in fear as piece by piece they disappear. Then I blacked out.
I woke up to find myself in an empty dark room. While my vision was getting clear, I slowly stand back up. When I got back my conscious, I gagged from the awful stench that just came from inside this room. I looked around to see where's the door for my escape and there, I see the shining golden knob reflecting my sight. I ran and grab hold of it, then twist it to open the door. To my very eyes, I've witnessed the most insane horror I've ever had in my life.
The sources aren't just in the room I was in. It was also in the living room because there are 5 dead bodies hanging like pig meat. Their flesh cut and sliced so disgustingly brutal that I can see their organs and tissues beginning to slip out of the sockets. Blood and bones are spread around the floor, shining the cold light that shines through the curtains of the outside. When I look at the top of their corpses, there are eyes looking directly at me with fear. Then I realize that they're still alive.
They suddenly screamed everywhere with the pain they share. I blocked my ears with my palm as I felt the twist in my stomach getting worse. Tears rapidly escapes out of my eyes that I shut my eyes tight. I quickly ran out of there and arrived to a room that is full of random colors. The colors are wrong. They're all wrong in many different ways that I can't describe so well about it. The screams and the colors made me vomit all over the floor. I nearly fell to the ground but I kept myself back up in hopes of leaving this place. I want to go home. I want to see Brandon again. I wished I'd rather get beaten up in the basketball court than coming here to lead my bully and his crew to their unholy demise.
I spun around in a frenzy and saw the bright and weird door before me. I quickly opened it and I was met with a freezing atmosphere. The world turned into some sort of hell. There are large stone spikes all over Necro town, crushing through the houses. The sky all grey and the sun is smiling at me with an empty mouth. Its eyes glaring at me in those sockets. The Sockets are too big for the eye balls that I thought it'll fall to the ground but it didn't.
I don't see anybody else outside. There's only the deformed flesh like trees and broken homes. My heart begins to panic. The world is making me crazy and horrified at the same time that I froze in place.
Something was walking behind me. They felt wrong, all wrong like it's not human. I turned around to see nothing. Literally nothing. There's no room filled with colors and the screaming stopped. Far away from myself is the darkest room I've ever seen. All dark. No light. Nothing.
I closed the door behind me and checked the room that was hanging my bully and his colleagues but they're all gone and the wall is stained with blood. The writing gave me enough chills and fear that drives me mad. There is no god to save you, Hermit
I spun around in a frenzy as if someones looking at me. I can feel the eyes are at me and I don't know where it is until a stomp noise can be heard right in the room I woke up in. At first, there were loud footsteps, and now it's banging on the door like a maniac. I didn't wait for it to come out of course. So I ran away, outside in the hellish Necro town.
I'm running on the road now and something is coming for me. Thoughts popping inside my head about whatever is coming for me, it won't lose my tracks as it can smell my very soul. Until I was very far away from the house I was in, a loud scream booms from that house. The scream is like the thousand souls tormented in hell for all eternity. I can feel its gaze at me with its hellish intentions.
I didn't stop to look back. I just kept running until I get into my home. How far is this town? Because I've been running for much longer and the town shouldn't be so far. The footsteps are getting closer as my heart beats faster with every second of its footsteps getting closer.
My legs became so sore and numb, and my lungs became so shallow from the burning air. I suddenly coughed so much that I fell to the ground, hitting my elbow. I tried to crawl away but it was already too late as the thing behind me has already come to get me. I rolled on my back and looked forward to see a tall hideous figure.
It was a tall humanoid with coal like skin. Its skin tightens its bones and I can see its red blood veins pulse around its deflated muscles. Its legs are of a goat's legs, resembling the creature to be something demonic like the devil. The arms are so long that its length is from shoulder to feet. Snd its fingers are way too long that it's like a monstrous claw. Its head is not human, more like a hood connecting to its shoulders. It's not the long and impossible stretched jaw that made me scream. The eyes are because there's nothing in them. Nothing but darkness of Sheol.
It's reaching me with those hideous claws while screaming like a wild demonic animal ready to pounce on their prey. Is this really how I was going to die. To be brutally mauled by its claws and jaw. Will I share the same fate as the bully and his comrades? I don't want to know and I never want to live like this. I'm scared. I don't want to die.
By the time it reaches me, something bright hits it. It's like I'm looking at a fireball? It was big. Bigger than my torso. I looked upwards to see a bright blue figure approaching me. It's like I'm looking at someone from the afterlife because its whole body is in flames except for a recognizable coat, pants, and a cane.
"It's been so long since I've fought these creatures." It was a voice of an old man I recognize clearly. But this doesn't make any sense at all. It's so strange for this guy to sound like Brandon but his voice matches him.
The creature growled at him like a dog and I didn't waste anytime to get away from it. But the smoking smell in my lungs prohibit me to get away. It's like I was dying. But my eyes are alright.
The creature jumps over me, attacking the savior of my life. He shot another fire ball at it and that makes the creature soar back. The creature stands back up wildly before the stranger appeared before it as if he teleported in a blink of an eye. He wack his cane at its head which rips off from its neck. This stranger killed that creature like its nothing but when he turned around I can see fear on his face.
His face, I can see his eyes and mouth. There's also 2 triangular scar at the sides of his chin and they're not burning in flames. "Melvin. I can explain later but right now we have to leave." He said my name just like Brandon does. This is insane, I don't know if I was dreaming or it's real because everything is going mad.
"Let me help you up." He held me by the arm, pulling me up from the ground as I tried to take a breath. My legs are too tired for me to walk. But when he pulled me from the ground, I felt a great sensation of cleansing in my lungs and my legs and muscles began to relax. His hands doesn't hurt nor burn me as if it's a regular hand with no effect on me. I look at him and still he's in fear. Why would he be scared too?
"Brandon?" I said with fear and question in my voice. He looked at me with defeat as if he can't hide that away anymore. That's how I knew he's Brandon. "Well. Looks like you figured it out. But come on. Lets move now. You don't want the fish and chips cold." As he ran, I followed in pursuit. My legs felt reborn and my lungs have increased somehow. This felt so real. Everything does. I'm not dreaming at all. It's really happening. I kept asking Brandon with many questions from my head. "You're the blue turbo?"
"Yes. I am."
"Where were you after you quit being a -"
"Melvin. Now is not the time. We have to go. I'll answer them until we reach home ok."
We were suddenly blocked by 5 more of these creatures. They're just like the one I met before when I was being chased. I hid behind Brandon for safety as the creatures screams. I stepped far back from them, not wanting to turn into their puppet or something worse. I looked around to see more of them approaching us with hungry mouths. We're surrounded.
We stand with our backs facing each other. I'm horrified to see more of these demonic creatures all around us, ready to pounce at any moment. When I turn to see Brandon I thought he would be scared but he looks like he knew this would happen. "Melvin, when I say go, run away and don't look back. Keep running no matter what."
"What? But I don't want to leave you."
"I know. But this is the least I can do for you to live. You know my story Melvin. You know why."
My heart sank from the message. Leaving him here with all these creatures, I don't even know if he'll live on after this. But what can I do against these creatures. I'm just a human. I felt so much fear and guilt. After for what I've done to myself and Brandon. I wished I never had run away.
The monsters are creeping in. I can hear the chatters from their jaws and the footsteps around us. The creatures are ready to kill us because their backs are lifting up as a sign of predatory nature. Then suddenly when Brandon pierces his cane to the ground a loud boom vibrated around us as blue circular waves from the cane emerges out. The waves created a gravitational force that the creatures started floating in the air. Except we weren't floating. "GO!!"
And with that, I ran away as fast as I can, far away from this hell, far away from the only friend I have in my life. I can hear the sounds of vibration turned shut quiet and the screams of the demonic creatures so loud I ran even more faster. Tears are falling from my cheek with the guilt squeezing my heart with pain.
When I finally escaped and was on the clear road, I cried. I cried so much that I can feel everything around me started to fall. I've lost my best friend in Necro town and it's all my fault. If I hadn’t ran away, none of this would’ve happened. I've lost him. I was lying on the ground with the deepest depression in my soul hurting me. I can't bare to lose my friend. I just can't. What am I even supposed to do? I can't save him. I'm not strong enough. I'm just scared.
I'm now sitting at the front porch of Brandon's home. Waiting for him to come back for days. I haven't eaten anything nor come back home or school. I just stayed there waiting for him to come back. I'm alone and scared.
I kept being bothered by random people. They ask why I'm still outside. I never did answer until they called the hospital or the cops. I told them there's nothing to worry about but they don't believe me. If I tell them the truth, they'll die in Necro town and I don't want that for them. I don't believe the cops would understand.
From every hospital or cops I went through, I just kept coming back. Even my parents told me to stay home, I snuck out in the night waiting for my old friend. I did eat sometimes but not really much. I just went to my room until night time arrives.
Then, one day, at midnight, he's back. He's really back. I was so happy and glad he's alive just the way he is. But when I approached to hug him, he collapsed down to his knees. I was exploded with fear and worry. I helped him up and asked him what just happened. "I don't have much time Melvin. Lets go inside, we have a visitor I think you would like to meet. Meet Judith Wednesday." Behind him was a girl who's the same age as me. Her hair is black and she wore a grey hoodie with a logo I've never seen in my whole life. She was covered in dark red blood. The blood that is definitely from the creatures in Necro town.
We all went in and I gave Brandon a seat on the couch. Judith sat next to his left. And me, I sat next to his right. "Brandon, what happened?"
He looked at me with a smile on his face as he begins to change form in front of my eyes. His body changed like he was glowing and the flames form around him. His form now just like the form I saw while at Necro city. "Well. With the help of this young lady, we've defeated all the monsters. But, for me, it didn't go well for me. I'm slowly dying you see. I'm not going to have much time in this world."
"But you can't die. You're like spiritual aren't you?"
"Yes. But that doesn't mean death can't happen to me. I don't know where people like me go when they die. Nobody does."
I can feel my heart race as the tears slides on my face. I can't help myself but to cry before him.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have ran away. I shouldn't have."
"Melvin. It's not your fault. I saved you because I wanted you to live a life I protected. It's my choice. And I'm glad I did. And you didn’t do anything to get there on purpose. I would’ve done the same thing by running if I were you. Now. Lets go fishing together. One last time."
I wiped my tears away, trying my best not to ruin this very moment but I just couldn't help myself. He reached out his arms and I took it. I hugged him tightly whilst crying so deeply that I don't want to let go. We've stayed like this for couple of minutes until I finally let go with my soul finally relaxing but with small sadness. My guilt is free.
We grabbed our fishing equipment and went to the river in the forest. Judith follows us with a fishing rod in hand. I don't feel anything like talking to her but at least we both have company. To share the moment together I guess. But this is for Brandon and I hope she knew that too.
When we arrived at the jetty and started placing worm food at the hooks. Brandon was the first to throw his fishing hook. The fishing hook was glowing blue, just like his flames. The pond glowed so bright like a lantern. It was beautiful. The fishes shine so bright from the light. It's as if the world around us is gone and all that matters was this very moment before death.
Judith was struggling to put the worm food at the hook. I went to help her but she said. "It's ok. I got it." By the time her finger was nearly stabbed by the hook, the tip of her finger turned into metal. But that didn't bother me because at this moment, it felt like home. We just laughed. I don't know why we were laughing and it's like being a kid again.
We threw our fishing hooks in the pond, waiting for a fish to bite. The shiny blue fishes. They're more beautiful than I'd remembered. The stains of my tears fades away. "Melvin. You promise me that you'll stay strong?"
I heard Brandon said and I didn't believe it at first. How can I be strong for those that really need help or even myself? "I'm not strong."
"You are. You're strong the way you are. It's ok to be scared because that's a part of how we live. You're a good man Melvin. You just got to believe in yourself."
"How?"
With a smile on his face, he replied. "You find ways to make yourself better. Achieve your goals. And enjoy life." His words are so convincing that I begin to believe that. My eyes caught my attention to Judith with a warm and sad smile on her face. For some reason, that helped me believe too. I think I can be strong if that's what he said. "Ok. I'll be strong."
"Good. Remember Melvin, you're not alone." And with a sad and free smile on his face, he faded away before my very eyes. His body evaporated into nothing as the last bits of his flames disappear. The tears in my eyes slowly fell as I look into the the pond and the sun beginning to rise.
"I know how it feels." I heard Judith said.
"Really?'
"I've lost my mom and dad to cancer. My mom died when I turned 8. My dad died when I'm at the age of 16. I felt so depressed when my parents die right in front of me. I can't do anything except watch."
"I guess we both got the same moment then. I wish I could just get him back." She looked at me with sad eyes. This very moment makes us feel so calmly sad like its a funeral or somewhere quiet.
"I know. But there's nothing we can do. We just have to move forward with the memories."
It was nice to have someone with me who had similar stories like mine. She was right, we can't do anything about it. We can't get them back. It was hard for me, I know well. Like she said, I had to move forward and keep the memories I had with Brandon. I looked at the sky and prayed that wherever Brandon is now, he's at peace with his wife and son. In a good life he deserved.
It's been a few weeks. I stopped trying to escape school because my bully's are gone. But that didn't make me feel better at all nor felt good. Their parents looked everywhere for them, even the cops but they're not found. Some of the cops went into Necro town and was never heard of again. I wished I could warn them but they don't believe me when I did.
Judith came to visit me every now and then whenever I left school. We exchange stories of our past lives and other stories shared by others. We became close as friends as we kept hanging out with each other. I'm very glad and happy to have a new friend. She's not like any other teenager I've ever met. She's really good with cutting wood. She even shot an arrow directly at the fish in the river.
She's really cool but also depressing. She doesn't have any other friends and doesn't even go to school. Her mom died first, which is the reason she stopped going to school. So that she'll spend more time with her dad just like with her mom. She didn't want any friends. She only wanted her mom and dad and they're enough for her. Until she lost them. They were everything to her. But as time goes, she moved on and came here.
I knew how she fought the creatures with Brandon. At first I thought she was lost like me too but she's much stronger than I'd think. She told me she got a robot spirit within her spirit. A fusion. She can form into the form of her spiritual companion. Her name was Athena and in every single dream she kept coming over in her dreams, babbling random stuff. She's inside of her head, which means she's the everyday annoying voice in her mind that she cannot get away from. I felt bad for her at first but she shrugged it off, saying. "But hey, we got along with each other. Even that I don't like her at first, she's a person too."
One day, we went to the woods at night with our flash lights. It was horrifying for me because we could get lost so easily here. Sweat poured down on my forehead as we kept walking into the woods. Until suddenly, a bright blue light in front of us glows in the night. When we approached the light, it was the pond.
The pond was glowing the same light as Brandon's. This never happened ever in every night or day. Unless he did something or he somehow resides there. But I don't feel like he's there. But I can feel something else.
We walked to the jetty until we stopped near the edge. The pond is as beautiful as I remember with the blue shiny fishes swimming around it. I wonder what happens if I put my hand in the pond. Will I feel something warm or something else. Maybe my arm will glow. I don't know. But then something grew within my soul. A connection. As if the pond wants me to put my hand in. It felt amusing.
So I did it without hesitation. It felt warm as I swim my right hand in the water. The water suddenly jumped on my arm. I thought I was going to panic but I didn't flinch. Instead I let it do what it does. Judith tried to pull me away but I told her not to. She then watched as the glow of the pond gathered around the water that is holding my arm. I felt a great sensation of warmth and heat. I felt a stinging pain all over my arm but it quickly turned into a cold feeling.
All of the glow of the blue flame from the pond is now on my arm, glowing as small flames flew up from my arm, just like Brandon's head of flames. As the glow fades away, I can see clearly that my arm is stained with bright blue.
The pond is now empty of normal water and the fish swims peacefully. We were both shocked as to what happened. Did the glow of Brandon's flames just fused with my arm? I can definitely feel the power from my arm coursing with my soul. "How did it feel?"
"It felt like, painful at first but went normal. I don't know." A realization hit me that I forgot where my flashlight was. I looked to find nothing. Judith helped me out by lighting around the place but it wasn't enough. Suddenly, I felt something in my arm. I lift my hand up and gripped tight, making a bold fist. When I opened my hand, a bright blue flame appeared before me. A bright orb of blue flame glowing our surroundings.
It's as if I knew what I was doing. It's like my soul is connected to this power. When I looked at Judith, her face was a surprised look. I'm surprised as well. So I think I have Brandons powers now. I think I know the reason the glow came tonight. Brandon gave me his powers because what's the point in keeping them when he's living in a peaceful life. I understand now.
I looked around and found my flashlight dropped in the pond. I was frightened that it could've electrocuted the fishes but it didn't. I wasn't paying any attention to it. Accidentally dropping my flashlight. But it looked to be drained off somehow. When I was grabbing in for it, the pond created a vortex beneath the touch of my right palm.
It was shockingly beautiful to watch. The vortex flows so smoothly. I then put my foot on the ground and the pond made space for me to be able to move around. The fish swims all around the pond as I stepped on the ground of the pond beneath me. It was dry. All dry. I grabbed my flashlight and looked up to the jetty. To Judith. With a smile on her face, she said. "This is so cool."
I smiled back as the pond begins to glow and my right hand glows with blue the blue flames. I stand on the ground of the pond my old friend and I loved going to. I have the gift from Brandon and now, I think I'll use this power for good.
I looked up into the night sky, watching the stars shine above whilst a shooting star appeared with them.
I'll be strong Brandon. I'll overcome every obstacle I come across and overcome the suffering. I'll be strong for who I am. And no one is going to stand in my way of doing that.

When we think of relationships, we usually think of other people: family, friends, partners, co-workers, that f*cker that keeps playing the organ at midnight next door, the dog, etc.
Relationships are super duper important to living at least a somewhat decent life. I doubt many people will disagree.
Yet the most important relationship is the one that is commonly most overlooked:
Your relationship with yourself!

Your relationship with yourself

Don't worry, I'm not going to come out with some hoo-hah "love yourself" bullshit. I promise.
Not long ago there was only one person I hated in life. One person that I thought was the most pathetic, weak, lacking, and bruh-inducing human that I knew. And who was that?
Me!
Was thinking this healthy? No. Did it benefit me in any way? No. Did it benefit others? No. Was it conducive to my goals? No. Did it make me feel any better? No.
But my past depressed self made this a reality. Whether it was true or not, I believed it, so it became true to me.
My past self rationalised this thought pattern. I made it appear reasonable to talk to myself like this - to have this I'm-such-a-loser-all-I-do-is-lose internal dialogue. Compared to so many people around me, I felt behind in life. Really behind.
My mental health was in a laughable state. I was physically as fit as my 70yr old neighbour (the one that plays that f*cking organ), lonely, depressed, hopeless, and didn't have much going for me. And to put the cherry on top, I habitually played the comparison game with people online.
Now that is a loser's game.
After a while, I'd had enough. I said, "f*ck this, I'm sick of myself for hating myself, and I've got to do something about this". I took the plunge into rekindling my relationship with myself.
Why Is This Important?
If your goal is improvement, you must be someone that wants to improve.
When I treated myself like a foe:

• I kept regressing to old standards after a very short time.
• I had no motivation to improve and achieve worthwhile goals.
• I quickly gave up on anything that took effort.
• I overindulged in vices and bad habits.
• And I just didn't care much if I won or lost.

And other people are going to notice this. It is reflected in everything: posture, work ethic, body language, etc. You will never be able to subconsciously rationalise improving someone you hate.
And to add, not many people will want to be around you either.
To try to be a better person yet speak to yourself as a problem is counter-intuitive. Don't you think? It's bound to create a form of mental incongruence. And as long as your actions for yourself do not align with your thoughts about yourself, you will always feel a kind of dissonance. And this shit isn't what we want.
Oh wow, this is cool and all, but how tf do I start liking myself a little more?
Firstly, you've got to be aware of the problem. How do you speak to yourself regularly? Like you would to a friend? How about when you do something well or badly?
Start to develop a perception of your thoughts about yourself more and assess them. This could be some of the most beneficial introspection you do. Take note of how much is positive and how much is negative. And don't just skip this shit - it's important.
For example, here were some of mine that used to be all too common: "I'm pathetic", "I'm stupid", "I'm weak", "I'm a sorry excuse for a man", "Why would anyone ever like me?", and "Why should I bother?"
Pretty rough, huh?
​
Next, you have to want to become someone that you like.
Perhaps you don't want to. Perhaps this seems a bit lovey-dovey.
Make no mistake, I'm not saying you should love yourself all of a sudden. That obviously won't work. Not a single cringe "love yourself" affirmation or quote changed shit when I was a doomer.
If you're suffering right now, why should you love the person who's put you there? It's more about thinking positively and reshaping your identity so it aligns with your goals.
You should find a nice balance between loving and hating yourself - too much hate, and you'll never get shit done; too much love and you'll get too comfortable with where you currently are.
Your beliefs should be as self-serving as possible. Ones that aren't will compound and weaken your mind. Because ultimately, your beliefs become your reality.
Here are some next steps you can take:

1. Only compare yourself to yourself. Easier said than done, I know. But it's a biggie. Deleting - or at least distancing - yourself from social media will help. All these "successful" nerds will make everything you do seem futile. Instead, compare your progress to where you were in the past.
2. Look after yourself. But take it gradually, step by step. Overwhelming yourself will cause a reset, or prevent you from starting altogether. Do some simple things: take a shower, drink some water, meditate for 2 minutes, journal 1 thing you're grateful for, go for a walk, etc. Do these little things, let them compound, and see how you feel after a week or two.
3. Envision the person you want to become - the dream version of yourself. How would they treat and speak to themselves? Really use your imagination and paint as vivid a picture as possible. The more detail, the more emotion you can tie to it, and the more powerful it will be. Now act and think in alignment with how they would.
4. Intercept negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Unfortunately, emotions are addictive, so many people get stuck thinking negatively. This will take practice, but you can get there. One tip is to write a reminder on the wall to think good thoughts. The less tolerance you have for non-serving thoughts, the easier it will be.

The most important thing
The one thing that gave me the most progress was changing my beliefs about myself. It seemed stupid to have beliefs about myself that made life harder.
So, I removed all tolerance for negative beliefs and replaced them with positive ones. I would constantly reaffirm these beliefs, no matter how arduous it seemed. This is some biohacking, neuroplasticity, and reprogramming your mind-type shit.
I found results the most, however, when I proved these beliefs. That is the key. Because then you get a nice feedback loop and a positive memory to add credence to the belief.
The idea goes: Form a serving belief -> Act in accordance -> See the Result -> Get mental feedback.
Then the feedback either strengthens the belief or weakens it. It's these feedback loops that can be the difference between feeling on top of the world and like a fat sack of shit. This is why it's paramount that you understand this! These beliefs can make or break you.
Don't worry if at first you don't act correctly or get the desired results. Remind yourself that you are evolving into the person who believes x about themselves, and with time it will come true.
​
Some concluding notes and stuff
Speak to yourself like a friend. Behave how you would want your child to.
There is a lot more to cover on this topic, such as affirmations (which can help immensely but are almost always incorrectly done and misunderstood), identity and the ego, belief, victim mentality, feedback loops, etc. But I think these deserve their own posts.
One of the biggest determinants of success for most things in life is how much you believe in yourself. Be someone that you can believe in.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Thx for reading.

I didn't drink in a while after the last time I got very drunk. I'm in a limbo where I want and don't want to drink, but it's different than the stuff people usually talk about, I am not fighting myself and trying to stop myself from drinking, trying to suppress the urge or debate myself out of it.. not at all. I am open to the idea of drinking and getting drunk. If I did it today, fuck it, my health won't suffer, I can take it. My drinking at this point is pretty low, and I never put any value in counting sober days, it's a childish game.
The problem is something else. I allow myself to drink if I want to. I want to drink in order to help myself reach something or unlock something that's currently unobtainable for me. But, I fall short and it's disappointing. This last year, most of the time I can even start drinking just to stop without any imperative that stopping is the right thing to do and all that shit. And I'm not glad about it, I'm disappointed, not because I want to drink but because I lost something. I don't know how to explain it well, I get that if your main issue is fighting the urge to drink this almost sounds like a brag, like "look at me here, I want to drink today but I stop myself", what a problem in life. But that's not the point, it's not anymore about changing my lifestyle, I'm already not drinking much anymore, blacking out and all the shit that was an issue before.
Now I lost any fucking ability to be anything except for completely empty. I can't even let myself get out of this obsessive control in my head that blocks me from everything. The last few days again I feel like I'm going to go completely insane, I have the constant urge to break things
But I think I understand how everything is going to shit, how nothing will be better, everything will be lost, and nothing is missing, that is just the normal state, nothing was ever there, I don't know what I'm looking for because there is nothing, nothing is a substitute for something else, just for itself not being there. Everything is missing.
I don't know, I really feel life is a horror movie and there are no options available. I swear I wish there was a comfort, if I could believe it I would, I wish I was wrong about everything. I can't force it and pretend but if there was anything I could genuinely hold on to, good or bad, I would. But that thing doesn't exist.
Alcohol is just another thing I lost. So being sober doesn't make me happy. I didn't achieve anything, I just lost.

For the uninitiated, Parasyte is a dark, gory, horror, thriller anime which follows Shinichi, who gets attacked by a parasite which can take over your body if it successfully attacks your brain, and modify your body to become basically a predatory killing machine. The parasite attacking Shinichi fails to take over his brain, but takes over his right arm, creating a symbiotic relationship where the right arm, who's called Migi now, is a killing machine as mentioned above and the Shinichi's body gives it nutrition to survive in exchange for protection from other such Parasites.
The story is very good and goes into existential crisis territories every now and then, where Shinichi is forced to face the insignificance of Humans while facing such monsters - where they're essentially cattle to these superior beings. The anime is done by Madhouse and is pretty standard in terms of animation and all.
And now, we get to the issue at hand. The music choice is certainly weird at the beginning, where we have really dark and gory shit happening to EDM backdrops, which seems cool at the beginning. But once the scene changes, the track abruptly changes into a soft somber tone. Weird, but okay.
Next episode rolls in. The same EDM plays for the fight. The same soft somber tone for the emotional scenes. I mean, it's the second episode. They surely won't just use these two tracks for the entire series.
....right?
Well whoop dee fucking do, come the final episode and the entire series has literally two fucking tracks playing through the entire thing where there's the EDM track for the fight scenes and the other one for everything else.
A key spoiler His mother turns into a Parasite and attacks him and guess what's playing in the background? The fucking EDM song
It is infuriating how much the anime could've been elevated if it had better music. I can handle the EDM because it is a fight scene and there is not much else happening (even though the repetition is a bitch there), but my actual issue is with the other track which is good for like two listens and then feels like a fucking notification chime for sad scenes in the show.
Think of a series like Bleach, where Shiro Sagisu's music basically made the anime (not the Manga) go from a solid 6 to a fucking 9.
This could've been it. But it fucking dropped the ball so hard it is insane how they managed to actually do it.

Hey folks, I'm a European guy(27) living in one of the biggest city of India (I wont disclose exact city cuz I'm very much cautious about my identity). In April 2022 I was appointed in an embassy, my first thoughts were very negative especially when it comes to women but I had no where to run and I'm here since then. In the last year my perspective about Indian women has completely changed. I initially thought Indian women would be much suppressive and I would never have the fun I used to have in EU but since I've been here, I've never had difficulty in getting a woman to my bed. I've already slept with more women in last year then I've been with in EU for last 5 years. My ethnicity has helped me so much, especially girls of age between 18-25 (They love my skin which is consider below par in EU). Also I occasionally get hit on by married women too. Overall I'd say my perspective about Indian women proved very wrong and I'm so much happy here that I'm considering permanently staying in India only. Lets roll.