since the 2027 edition is already awarded to Qatar, the next closest edition available for bidding is the 2031 edition (as the FIBA World Cup is held every four years just like the football/soccer counterpart). following the successful bid for the 2026 FIFA World Cup, I think they should also continue it for basketball, as it is (arguably) the second most popular sport in the world (of course only behind football/soccer). and here are my ideal details for the bid:
-there will be eight venues in total, as there were in China in 2019.
-three venues in Canada, the other three in the United States and two in Mexico.
-each of the eight venues will host two groups each: one in the first round (one of those from A to H) and another in either the second round or the 17th-32nd classification round (one of those from I to P).
-the knockout stages (Quarterfinals, semifinals, seventh-fifth-third-place playoffs and final) will all be in the United States, using all the venues proposed in the bid. two of them are usual indoor arenas (only for quarterfinals) and another is a huge purely-indoor American-football-based stadium (for the subsequent rounds) usually used for NCAA Division I men's basketball tournament.
​
and here is my ideal list of proposed venues:
Canada

• Scotiabank Arena, Toronto, Ontario. basketball capacity of 19800. home of the Toronto Raptors playing in the NBA. Eastern Canada representative.
• Rogers Arena, Vancouver, British Columbia. current basketball capacity of 19700. more often used as the home venue of Vancouver Canucks playing in the NHL, it was also the former home of Vancouver Grizzlies until it moved to Memphis in 2001 and was renamed "Memphis Grizzlies". Western Canada representative.
• Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec. basketball capacity of up to 22,000. home of the Montreal Canadiens playing in the NHL, it has also hosted some NBA preseason games. French-speaking Canada representative.

​
United States

• Crypto*com Arena, Los Angeles, California. basketball capacity of up to 19,000. formerly called "Staples Center" until December 2021, it is the home of the Los Angeles Lakers and Los Angeles Clippers playing in the NBA (but the Clippers will soon move to a new arena called "Intuit Dome" expected to complete in 2024). West Coast representative.
• Madison Square Garden, New York City. basketball capacity of up to 19800. home of the New York Knicks playing in the NBA. East Coast representative.
• U.S. Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, Minnesota. normally a huge indoor American football stadium, it has a capacity of up to 73,000, and such a stadium is rarely used for basketball; the most popular usage of an indoor American football stadium for basketball competition is for NCAA Division I men's basketball tournament. it is mainly used as the home of Minnesota Vikings playing in the NFL. as it is so huge, only the lower tier will be used for the group and/or classification games; the rest of the seats will be opened starting from the semifinals. Central United States representative.

​
Mexico

• Arena Ciudad de Mexico, Mexico City. capacity of up to 22,000. it has hosted some NBA regular season games.
• Arena Monterrey, Monterrey. capacity of up to 17500. it hosted NBA preseason games in 2009.

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Hi, I am in Texas and I am the custodial parent. Our child is under two and we have had a visitation and custody order in place for over a year. We have never followed the standard visitation schedule prior to this month because we were in agreeance of our own version. Until now.
For the past year our child has only stayed overnight with the other parent 5 times. One of those times (in April) the other parent ignored my calls and did not drop her off as planned in the morning. Instead they took our child to court where they failed a UA. (You can't do either of those things). They dropped the child off to me and three hours later a CPS investigator knocked on my door to inform me of what happened and that he ran out of the court room with our child. Police and CPS had been looking for our child and worried about their safety with the other parent. I gladly signed a safety plan from CPS that limited his visitation to supervised visitation for 30 days. Cps investigation was closed before the end of the 30 day period. Other parent eventually went to jail for two weeks after running from warrants stemming from that court date. Bond was set at an amount higher than $300,000 and I did not think they would make bond. They did. I was not able to retain a lawyer before he was released.
Now the other parent is demanding their time and waiving the visitation order around. I unfortunately have to follow this order. They keep saying and sending texts that say "I am trying to keep the child from him and "it will bite me in the ass". Very obviously documenting pick up and drop off times, called in a welfare check on our child the day they got released from jail stating they "have a right to know where the child is since I didn't answer my phone". recording (and sending to me) video of our child playing and laughing while in their possession stating how happy the child is to be around them.
I have yet to not follow the orders or deny him any visitation.
How would you advise in this situaion.

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/cg1p8marcoxnt93s\_igs\_rep\_page/
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Not For Broadcast
Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
Odyssey - The Story of Science
OF MICE AND SAND -REVISED-
One Step From Eden
Opus Magnum
Overcooked
Overgrowth
PATHOLOGIC 2
Pillars Of Eternity
Phoenix Point Year one edition
Planespace Torment Enhanced Edition
Plunge
Quantum League
Quest of Dungeons
Railroad tycoon 3
Rise of Industry
River City Melee Mach
Roarr! The Adventures of Rampage Rex
Sanctuary RPG: Black Edition
Scribblenauts Unmasked
Scythe Digital Edition
Serious Sam 3 BFE
Shadowrun: Dragonfall - Director's Cut
Shing!
Skullgirls
Sinking Island
Slinger VR
SNIPER GHOST WARRIOR CONTRACTS
Sonic All Stars Transformed Collection
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Starbound
Star Wars Galactic Battlegrounds Saga
STAR WARS Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy
STAR WARS™ Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
STAR WARS The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
Star Wars Kotor 2
Star Wolves 3: Civil War
stick fight the game
Stronhold Crusader 2
Struggling
Styx Master of Shadows
SUPER TIME FORCE ULTRA
SurrounDead
Surviving Mars x 2
Swords of Gurrah
Tannenberg
THE KING OF FIGHTERS XIII STEAM EDITION
The Technomancer
tilt brush
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
The Bard’s Tale IV: Director’s Cut
The Beast Inside
The Gardens Between
The Incredible Adventures of Van Hesing
the long dark survival Edition
The Stillness of the Wind
The Swords of Ditto: Mormo’s Curse
The town of light
The walking dead the new frontier
The Wild Eight
Train Valley 2
Trüberbrook
Tropico 5
Tsioque
Unto The End
Valfaris
Voidship: The Long Journey
volcanoids
Wargroove
WARSAW
West of Dead x 2
Wizard Of Legends x 2
Worms Clan Wars
Without Within 3
XCOM: Chimera Squad
Yooka Laylee
Zwei: The Arges Adventure
Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection
TIER 3
112 Operator
911 Operator
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Ageless
AI War 2
Alan Wake's American Nightmare
Alien Shooter 2 Conscription
Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
angry video game nerd
Arcana Hearts 3
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
arma X
As Far As The Eye
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Atari Vault
AVEN COLONY
Before we Leave
Belladonna
BLACKHOLE
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Boomerang Fu
Bomber Crew - Deluxe Edition
Boreal Blade
Borealis
Bridge Constructor Playground
Broken Age x 3
Brothers – A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood
Cally's caves 3
Callys Caves 4
Capitalism 2
Carmageddon Max Damage
Cast of the Seven Godsends
Cepheus Protocol
Chaos Reborn
City Siege: Faction Island
COLT CANYON
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
Crazy Belts
crazy machines 3
Creeping Terror
Crowntakers
Crying Suns
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Cyber Hook
Dad Quest x 2
Dark Heritage: Guardians of Hope
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Death Squared
DESOLATE
Detached
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Dimension Drifter
Distrust : Polar Survival
Double Dragon IV
Draw Slasher
Duke Nukem Forever x 2
Dungeons 3
Dungeon Siege II
DV: Rings of Saturn
EarthNight
EarthX
Eliza
Enforcer: Police Crime Action
ENSLAVED™: Odyssey to the West™ Premium Edition
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Etherborn
Etherlords I & II
Evergarden
evoland
F1 2018
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Farming World
Fire
Fort Triumph
Fury Unleashed x 2
Garfield Kart
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Goat simulator
Golf Gang
God's Trigger
Go Home Dinosaurs
Going Under
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
GRIP: Combat Racing
Guilty Gear Sign
Gunscape Standard Edition
Hacknet + DLC
Heaven’s Vault
Heavy Burger
Heroes of Annihilated Empires
Hexologic
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hive Jump
Hopiko
HORACE
Hue
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
In Between
Innerspace
INMOST
Inside My Radio
Iris and the Giant
Iron Fisticle
John Wick
Just Die Already
ken follet
Kingdom: Classic
King Oddball
Knights of Pen & Paper 2
Knight's Retreat
Labyronia RPG
Labyronia RPG 2
Laser Disco Defenders
Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail
Lemuria Lost in Space
Levelhead
LIBERATED
Little Misfortune
Livelock
Lostwinds
Lovecraft’s Untold Stories
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Lust for Darkness
Luxor 3
Mages of Mystralia
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Mini Ninjas
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco: What’s Yours Is Mine
Moon Hunters
MotoGP 15
Morkredd
MOUNT & BLADE
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Memory of Us
Mystery Loss
Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
Nba Playgrounds
Neon Chrome
Newt One
Nex Machina
Neverending Nightmares
Neverout
Niffelheim
Night Call
Nowhere Prophet
Odallus: The Dark Call
Of Orcs And Men
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Racer
Out of Space
Overload
Overlord II x 2
Pac-Man 256
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm
Particula
Pathway
Pawnbarian
Payday 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Perfect Universe
Pesterquest
Pickers
Pikuniku
Pirate Pop Plus
Pixel Heroes
Pixplode
Planet Alpha
Planet of the Eyes
Police Stories
port royale 3 gold
Post Master
POPUP DUNGEON
Prehistoric Tales
Quantum Conundrum
Radio Commander
Rapture Rejects
Rebel Galaxy
red orchestra 2
Re-Legion
REMOTHERED: BROKEN PORCELAIN
Remnants of Naezith
RESIDENT EVIL HD
Rezrog
Retimed
Ring of Pain
Road Redemption
ROCK OF AGES 3: MAKE & BREAK
Röki
Roombo: First Blood
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RRRR
Rustler
Sakura Agent
Sakura Angels
Sakura Beach
Sakura Beach 2
Sakura Fantasy
Sakura Magical Girls
Sakura Shrine Girls
Sakura Spirit
Samorost 3
Serial Cleaner
Seven enchanted edition
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
SIMULACRA + SIMULACRA 2
Sins Of The Demon
Shadowrun Hong Kong Extended Edition
Shoppe Keep
Shoppe Keep 2
Smile For Me
SKULLY
Smoke and Sacrifice
Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing
Soulblight
Space Pilgrim Academy: Reunion
space run galaxy
Speedrunners
Spellspire
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
StarCrossed
State of mind
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stealth Bastard Deluxe x 2
Steamburg
Still Life 2
Storm Of Spears
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Sudden Strike 4
Sundered
Super Hexagon
Supraland
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Swag and Sorcery
Syberia
Syberia II
Syberia 3
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tabletop Playground
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Telefrag VR
Teslagrad
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
The Amazing American Circus
Tharsis
The Ball
The Deed
The dropping of the dead
The Dwarves
The Hex
The King's Bird
The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition
The Lost Crown
The Purring Quest
There Came An Echo
The Haunted Island, A Frog Detective Game
The Signal From Tölva
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
ToeJam & Earl Back in the Groove
Tomb Raider IV: The Last Revelation
Tomb Raider V: Chronicles
Tomb Raider Legend
Tomb Raider Underworld
Tooth and Tail
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Tropico 4
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Underhero
Unrest
Valnir Rok Survival RPG
Vane
Velocity Ultra Deluxe
Vertiginous Golf
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Wanderlust: Travel Stories
Wandersong
warlock 2
war tech fighters
Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
Without Within 2
Whispers of a machine
Wings of Vi
Yoku's Island Express
Youropa
Zoo Park
TIER 4
Acceleration of SUGURI 2
Age of Wonders III
Alien Spidy
Almost There: The Platformer
Angvik
A New Beginning – Final Cut
AtmaSphere
Battle vs chees
Circuit Breakers
Corridor Z
CreaVures
Cubicle Quest
Dagon – The Eldritch Box DLC
Dashing Dinos
Death Fungeon
Drawful 2
DungeonUp x 2
Earth 2150 Trilogy
Enclave
Endless Space – Collection
Evergarden
Formula Car Racing
Fluffy Horde
Gorky 17
Guts And Glory
Hacknet Deluxe Edition
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Holy Potatoes a Spy Story
Homefront
Horizon Shift
Joggernauts
Journey of a Roach
Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle
Left in the Dark: No One on Board
Leisure Suit Larry 5 - Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work
Leisure Suit Larry 6 - Shape Up Or Slip Out
Little Racers STREET
Lock Parsing 2
Love is Dead
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Memoria
Moss Destruction
NAIRI: Tower of Shirin
NeuroVoider
No Time to Explain Remastered
One Finger Death Punch
OneShift
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Pesterquest
Purrfect Date – Visual Novel/Dating Simulator
Raceland
Regions Of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball x 2
Rencounter
Renoir
Return to Mysterious Island
Resort Boss: Golf
Rym 9000
Seraph
Shooting Stars!
Silence
Sky Break
Space Pilgrim Episode III: Delta Pavonis
Space Pilgrim Episode IV: Sol
Spandex Force: Champion Rising
Steel Rats
Super Daryl Deluxe
Sword Legacy Omen
Taxi
The Adventure Pals x 3
The Deed: Dynasty
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Spiral Scouts
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
Tiny Troopers
ttv2
Twilight City Love as a Cure
Two Worlds: Epic Edition
Tumblestone
Unhack
Unhack 2
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
White Noise Online
World Keepers Last Resort
Zombie Party x 2

An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Banners of Ruin
Biped
CORPSE FACTORY
DUSK ’28: ULTIMATE EDITION
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dishonored
Eldest Souls
Gedonia
Hero’s Hour
Lamentum (HL 4,70 zł)
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus
Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee
Oddworld: Munch’s Oddysee
Oddworld: New 'n’ Tasty with Alf & Abe DLC Packs
Oddworld: Soulstorm Enhanced Edition
Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath HD
Rain World
Röki
THE GAME OF LIFE
The Ascent
The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
Trolley Problem, Inc.
Fanatical Mystery Bundles Leftovers
Noitu Love 2: Devolution x 2
OUTBUDDIES DX
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Adventures of Chris
Serial Cleaner
Dark Devotion
Kingdom Rush Frontiers
Everhood
The Town of Light x 2
Crumble
Dead End Job x 2
Valfaris
Garbage x 2
Alchemy Garden
Double Kick Heroes x 2
Nihilumbra
Dub Dash
Stick it to The Man!
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Reventure
Iron Marines
Beasts of Maravilla Island
Weaving Tides
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
White Night
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Doodle Derby
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Tesla Force
The Black Heart
Police Stories
From Space
DESOLATE
Just Die Already
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
TIER 0
Back 4 blood eu
Destiny 2 Planet of Peace Exclusive Emblem
Dirt Rally 2.0 + 3 DLC
F1 2012
F1 2019 Anniversary
Grand Theft Auto Vice City
Remnant from the Ashes
Road to Guangdong - Story-Based Indie Road Trip Driving Game
Squad
the wolf among us
TIER 1
Absolver
Bloodstained Ritual of the Night
borderlands Game of the year enhanced Edition
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection EU
Darksiders genesis
Doom Eternal
Duke Nukem Manhattan Project
Elex
Endless Space 2 – Deluxe Edition
friday the 13th
Geometry Wars 3 Dimensions Evolved Mystery
Genital Jousting
Grid Autosport
Grid ultimate edition
Golf With Friends
GoNNER BLüEBERRY EDiTION
guild wars 2 heroic edition
guild wars nightfall
Hitman Absolution
House Flipper
Just cause 3 XXL
Kingdom Rush
Kerbal Space Program x 2
Legend Of Grimrock
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
Little Dragons Cafe
Mafia III: Definitive Edition
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Maneater
Mordhau
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Outward US x 2
Overcooked 2 + Surf and Turf + Too Many Cooks
pathfinder wrath
PGA TOUR 2k21 x 2
Phantasmagoria
Portal Knights
Pro cycling manager 2019
Project Cars
Project CARS 2 + Japanese Cars Bonus Pack
Risen
Sairento VR
Scum
Second Extinction
Sonic Forces
Spyro Reignited Trilogy x 2
Starbound
Star Trek Bridge Crew
State of Decay 2
streets of rogue
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Tales of Zestiria
Team Sonic Racing
Tekken 7
The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion GOTY
The Division + DLC US
Tomb Raider GOTY
Total War: MEDIEVAL II – Definitive Edition
TRINE 2 Complete Story
TRINE 3 The Artifacts of Power
Tracks - The Train Set Game
WARHAMMER 40,000: Gladius- Relics of War
Warhammer 40000 : Mechanicus
Wasteland 2 Directors Cut
Wasteland 3
valkyria chronicles IV Complete
X-com 2
TIER 2
ABZU
Armello x 3
asterix obelix xxl3
Band of Defenders
batman arkham knight
Battle Chasers: Nightwar
Beyond Blue
BioShock Infinite
Book of Demons
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Choice Chamber
Chess Ultra
Cities skylines
civilization IV Complete Edition
Civilization 5
Dead by Daylight
Degrees of Separation
Drake Hollow
Driftland: The Magic Revival x 2
Endless Space 2
Europa Universalis IV
eXperience 112
FEZ
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Forced
From Space
Gamedec
Gato Roboto
Golf With Friends
Gunman Tales
Hotshot Racing
human fall flat
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Just Cause 3
Killing Floor 2
King's Bounty: Crossworlds
King’s Bounty: Warriors of the North - The Complete Edition
Last Oasis
Manhunt
Megadimension Neptunia VII
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 - War Chest Edition
METAL SLUG 3
Metro Last Light Redux
Miscreated
MO:Astray
Morphopolis
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Natural Selection 2
NecroWorm
Neo Cab
NEOVERSE
Not For Broadcast
Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
Odyssey - The Story of Science
OF MICE AND SAND -REVISED-
One Step From Eden
Opus Magnum
Overcooked
Overgrowth
PATHOLOGIC 2
Pillars Of Eternity
Phoenix Point Year one edition
Planespace Torment Enhanced Edition
Plunge
Quantum League
Quest of Dungeons
Railroad tycoon 3
Rise of Industry
River City Melee Mach
Roarr! The Adventures of Rampage Rex
Sanctuary RPG: Black Edition
Scribblenauts Unmasked
Scythe Digital Edition
Serious Sam 3 BFE
Shadowrun: Dragonfall - Director's Cut
Shing!
Skullgirls
Sinking Island
Slinger VR
SNIPER GHOST WARRIOR CONTRACTS
Sonic All Stars Transformed Collection
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Starbound
Star Wars Galactic Battlegrounds Saga
STAR WARS Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy
STAR WARS™ Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
STAR WARS The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
Star Wars Kotor 2
Star Wolves 3: Civil War
stick fight the game
Stronhold Crusader 2
Struggling
Styx Master of Shadows
SUPER TIME FORCE ULTRA
SurrounDead
Surviving Mars x 2
Swords of Gurrah
Tannenberg
THE KING OF FIGHTERS XIII STEAM EDITION
The Technomancer
tilt brush
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
The Bard’s Tale IV: Director’s Cut
The Beast Inside
The Gardens Between
The Incredible Adventures of Van Hesing
the long dark survival Edition
The Stillness of the Wind
The Swords of Ditto: Mormo’s Curse
The town of light
The walking dead the new frontier
The Wild Eight
Train Valley 2
Trüberbrook
Tropico 5
Tsioque
Unto The End
Valfaris
Voidship: The Long Journey
volcanoids
Wargroove
WARSAW
West of Dead x 2
Wizard Of Legends x 2
Worms Clan Wars
Without Within 3
XCOM: Chimera Squad
Yooka Laylee
Zwei: The Arges Adventure
Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection
TIER 3
112 Operator
911 Operator
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Ageless
AI War 2
Alan Wake's American Nightmare
Alien Shooter 2 Conscription
Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
angry video game nerd
Arcana Hearts 3
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
arma X
As Far As The Eye
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Atari Vault
AVEN COLONY
Before we Leave
Belladonna
BLACKHOLE
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Boomerang Fu
Bomber Crew - Deluxe Edition
Boreal Blade
Borealis
Bridge Constructor Playground
Broken Age x 3
Brothers – A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood
Cally's caves 3
Callys Caves 4
Capitalism 2
Carmageddon Max Damage
Cast of the Seven Godsends
Cepheus Protocol
Chaos Reborn
City Siege: Faction Island
COLT CANYON
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
Crazy Belts
crazy machines 3
Creeping Terror
Crowntakers
Crying Suns
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Cyber Hook
Dad Quest x 2
Dark Heritage: Guardians of Hope
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Death Squared
DESOLATE
Detached
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Dimension Drifter
Distrust : Polar Survival
Double Dragon IV
Draw Slasher
Duke Nukem Forever x 2
Dungeons 3
Dungeon Siege II
DV: Rings of Saturn
EarthNight
EarthX
Eliza
Enforcer: Police Crime Action
ENSLAVED™: Odyssey to the West™ Premium Edition
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Etherborn
Etherlords I & II
Evergarden
evoland
F1 2018
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Farming World
Fire
Fort Triumph
Fury Unleashed x 2
Garfield Kart
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Goat simulator
Golf Gang
God's Trigger
Go Home Dinosaurs
Going Under
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
GRIP: Combat Racing
Guilty Gear Sign
Gunscape Standard Edition
Hacknet + DLC
Heaven’s Vault
Heavy Burger
Heroes of Annihilated Empires
Hexologic
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hive Jump
Hopiko
HORACE
Hue
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
In Between
Innerspace
INMOST
Inside My Radio
Iris and the Giant
Iron Fisticle
John Wick
Just Die Already
ken follet
Kingdom: Classic
King Oddball
Knights of Pen & Paper 2
Knight's Retreat
Labyronia RPG
Labyronia RPG 2
Laser Disco Defenders
Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail
Lemuria Lost in Space
Levelhead
LIBERATED
Little Misfortune
Livelock
Lostwinds
Lovecraft’s Untold Stories
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Lust for Darkness
Luxor 3
Mages of Mystralia
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Mini Ninjas
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco: What’s Yours Is Mine
Moon Hunters
MotoGP 15
Morkredd
MOUNT & BLADE
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Memory of Us
Mystery Loss
Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
Nba Playgrounds
Neon Chrome
Newt One
Nex Machina
Neverending Nightmares
Neverout
Niffelheim
Night Call
Nowhere Prophet
Odallus: The Dark Call
Of Orcs And Men
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Racer
Out of Space
Overload
Overlord II x 2
Pac-Man 256
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm
Particula
Pathway
Pawnbarian
Payday 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Perfect Universe
Pesterquest
Pickers
Pikuniku
Pirate Pop Plus
Pixel Heroes
Pixplode
Planet Alpha
Planet of the Eyes
Police Stories
port royale 3 gold
Post Master
POPUP DUNGEON
Prehistoric Tales
Quantum Conundrum
Radio Commander
Rapture Rejects
Rebel Galaxy
red orchestra 2
Re-Legion
REMOTHERED: BROKEN PORCELAIN
Remnants of Naezith
RESIDENT EVIL HD
Rezrog
Retimed
Ring of Pain
Road Redemption
ROCK OF AGES 3: MAKE & BREAK
Röki
Roombo: First Blood
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RRRR
Rustler
Sakura Agent
Sakura Angels
Sakura Beach
Sakura Beach 2
Sakura Fantasy
Sakura Magical Girls
Sakura Shrine Girls
Sakura Spirit
Samorost 3
Serial Cleaner
Seven enchanted edition
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
SIMULACRA + SIMULACRA 2
Sins Of The Demon
Shadowrun Hong Kong Extended Edition
Shoppe Keep
Shoppe Keep 2
Smile For Me
SKULLY
Smoke and Sacrifice
Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing
Soulblight
Space Pilgrim Academy: Reunion
space run galaxy
Speedrunners
Spellspire
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
StarCrossed
State of mind
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stealth Bastard Deluxe x 2
Steamburg
Still Life 2
Storm Of Spears
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Sudden Strike 4
Sundered
Super Hexagon
Supraland
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Swag and Sorcery
Syberia
Syberia II
Syberia 3
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tabletop Playground
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Telefrag VR
Teslagrad
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
The Amazing American Circus
Tharsis
The Ball
The Deed
The dropping of the dead
The Dwarves
The Hex
The King's Bird
The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition
The Lost Crown
The Purring Quest
There Came An Echo
The Haunted Island, A Frog Detective Game
The Signal From Tölva
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
ToeJam & Earl Back in the Groove
Tomb Raider IV: The Last Revelation
Tomb Raider V: Chronicles
Tomb Raider Legend
Tomb Raider Underworld
Tooth and Tail
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Tropico 4
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Underhero
Unrest
Valnir Rok Survival RPG
Vane
Velocity Ultra Deluxe
Vertiginous Golf
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Wanderlust: Travel Stories
Wandersong
warlock 2
war tech fighters
Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
Without Within 2
Whispers of a machine
Wings of Vi
Yoku's Island Express
Youropa
Zoo Park
TIER 4
Acceleration of SUGURI 2
Age of Wonders III
Alien Spidy
Almost There: The Platformer
Angvik
A New Beginning – Final Cut
AtmaSphere
Battle vs chees
Circuit Breakers
Corridor Z
CreaVures
Cubicle Quest
Dagon – The Eldritch Box DLC
Dashing Dinos
Death Fungeon
Drawful 2
DungeonUp x 2
Earth 2150 Trilogy
Enclave
Endless Space – Collection
Evergarden
Formula Car Racing
Fluffy Horde
Gorky 17
Guts And Glory
Hacknet Deluxe Edition
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Holy Potatoes a Spy Story
Homefront
Horizon Shift
Joggernauts
Journey of a Roach
Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle
Left in the Dark: No One on Board
Leisure Suit Larry 5 - Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work
Leisure Suit Larry 6 - Shape Up Or Slip Out
Little Racers STREET
Lock Parsing 2
Love is Dead
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Memoria
Moss Destruction
NAIRI: Tower of Shirin
NeuroVoider
No Time to Explain Remastered
One Finger Death Punch
OneShift
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Pesterquest
Purrfect Date – Visual Novel/Dating Simulator
Raceland
Regions Of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball x 2
Rencounter
Renoir
Return to Mysterious Island
Resort Boss: Golf
Rym 9000
Seraph
Shooting Stars!
Silence
Sky Break
Space Pilgrim Episode III: Delta Pavonis
Space Pilgrim Episode IV: Sol
Spandex Force: Champion Rising
Steel Rats
Super Daryl Deluxe
Sword Legacy Omen
Taxi
The Adventure Pals x 3
The Deed: Dynasty
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
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/LonghornNation Daily Off Topic Free Talk Thread

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/LonghornNation Daily Sports Talk Thread

Today: 6/2/2023

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Here's a look at upcoming Longhorn Sporting Event(s):

1. 6/2 1:00 PM University of Texas Baseball vs Louisiana
2. 6/3 University of Texas Baseball vs Miami/Maine
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I was offered an instructional coaching position from a school last week and they gave me three days to respond. I communicated with them that I was interviewing and waiting to hear back from two other jobs and asked if they were willing to extend the timeline but they said the deadline was firm (slight red flag). Given the fact that my partner and I are scheduled to move to Texas in July and I had no other offers at the time, I accepted the offer from School A in the case I would not be offered a job elsewhere. I really hated the idea of not having something lined up before the move. I like school A and am excited to work there but I just got another offer this week.
School B’s offer is $8k more than School A, and my commute time would be 10 mins compared to 30 mins and it was my top choice within all of the options. Other benefits and contributions are comparable but I am wondering how I go about letting school A know I want to decline an offer I already accepted. I signed the offer electronically but the contract states, “School A is an at-will employer, which means your employment with School A is no specific period of time and may be terminated by you, or by School A at anytime, with or without prior notice and with or without cause”. To my understanding, I am able to break the signed agreement without any consequences. I know it will be a sh**ty thing to do but I also know I will regret my decision if I don’t accept the offer with School B.
Has anyone experienced a situation like this? If so, any advice on how I best communicate this to School A? I plan to do this as soon as I accept the offer with School B. Additionally, it is June so I know they will be able to find another candidate. Still, I am anxious and hope this doesn’t ruin my reputation. I have been as transparent as I can be with all of the schools that have reached out.
Thanks in advance!

Boomers zoomers gen z x t y.
I have no clue what any of these actually mean but what I have observed over the last 25 years is a strange convergence against vastly different age groups. If there werent memes roasting each other I reckon I’d not be able to tell them apart
From 10 year old girls to 50 year old mums all vying for the same attention set on tik tok to young boys slapping it up with old blokes on valorant. There’s no age related political issues it seems they’ve all mashed together. Where youth was a separate constituency it’s now just you’re unhinged left or unhinged right. Not my thoughts but a categorisation.
To even the idea of shows. It seems likes shows no longer market for age groups but rather for social issues. Adult Disney addicts and pre teens cosplaying as game of thrones. Everything is a super hero move with covering 50 different ages or some strange social quota show like Bridgerton
Now to my main point.
If everyone is seemingly doing the same thing. No matter the age would there not be at least the potential for a massive gap in wisdom. The idea is that wisdom comes from either failure or experience etc. but if everyone is failing in the same way and having generally the same experiences don’t you think this will have some effect?
I had this hunch and thought it was rubbish until I listened to a podcast featuring damien lillard talking about how the nba is rubbish because there aren’t any grown men anymore. There’s nothing to pass down. Everyone is trying to be the youthful tik tok star off the court and there is no elderly respect or longevity. And thus no basketball wisdom and that is why the game is trash. It sounds like a stretch but idk it definitely seems this is happening more largely
Apologies for the length and there is no concrete data here mostly a hunch but an imbedded question if you think this could happen and if it is happening what the ramifications might be.

For context me and my friend are both (16m) and we met last year in our first year of high school and are good friends. I’m gay but not out and am wondering if my friend is gay/bi. Im 50/50 on the whole thing he is very conservative and all “lets go brandon” if that matters, though throughout the now 2 years I’ve known him he’s said some weird things that are making me question his sexuality… earlier last year him and myself were at lunch with our other friend ,and somehow dick size got brought up. Ive never really had any close male friends before that year its always been girls. so I assumed that it was normal, and l answered truthfully, lunch went on and I forgot all about it until the three of us walked out of the cafeteria and he asked if he could “see it”… to be clearvoyent we have always been immature and made loads of gay jokes around each other, so I brushed him off and never thought about it until this year… for more context he left our school to play basketball at a neighboring school in our state we all still communicated. One day all three of us were on face time and exchanging photos of what we looked like since we haven’t seen each other in over 6 months. Fast forward I sent a picture of me and my family and he said “you could be really hot if you worked out more…” again I brushed him off and laughed about it. Later this year i had the realization I was gay I always liked men, but thought I could “ fix myself”. I went back on my past relationships and thought about my friend at first I convinced myself that its all just jokes and theres no hidden meaning I mean he’s had girlfriends before so he must be straight… later we found out that him and his latest girlfriend broke up and he wouldn’t tell us why. Normally were all honest with each other, I thought is it because she “found out”, though maybe something went bad he didn’t want to talk about. In my mind I had convinced myself he was straight until some of my friends whom are also part of the lgbtq+ asked if I had any “tea” I told them everything I’ve said here and again told them he was straight. Though they brought up a good point… what straight man says things like; can I see you dick or you’d be really hot… even if it was a joke. Now I’m halfway convinced I should just put it out there and ask him, but I have major confrontational issues so its sort of out of the picture until im 100% sure. What should I do?

(If this post is still up, I'm still looking!)
Hey there. I really want to develop a female led/slight gentle femdom relationship with a special guy.
When a lot of men see the term "female led relationship," they think, "Oh, the woman will make all the decisions with no input on what I think/want."
Are there dynamics like that? I'm sure there is. Personally, I'm not looking to be "the boss" or "above" you in any way. I want us to be equal... but have you give up control to me in a few other ways. :)
What do I mean? Keep reading on!
● ABOUT ME ●
You can call me Dreamer for now. (I'll tell you my real name once we get to know each other) Please do NOT call me Miss, Master, Dominatrix or Ma'am.
I'm 25 years old and an INFJ-T. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, USA (AKA Music City) and I'm on Central Standard Time. I'm a Black woman and I stand 5 feet, 7 inches tall. My eyes are brown and I wear glasses. I don't have any tattoos or piercings at the moment.
One thing I want to mention is that I'm plus size, AKA a bigger girl. I'm undergoing a vertical sleeve gastrectomy in two months to lose the excess weight I have in a sustainable and permanent way. I'm ready to regain my body and be healthy and confident again. I'd love to have you by my side throughout my journey!
As far as personality goes, I'd describe myself as empathetic and sweet. I like to help others as much as I can. In person, I tend to be rather shy at first. People tend to mistake that for weakness or gullibility. I'm anything but; my strength lies in introspection and quiet observation. I notice every nuance of a person's actions, words, body language, vibe... my intuition hasn't steered me wrong yet!
● INTERESTS ●
I won't go into detail on every single interest that I have but I'll talk about my biggest ones that you'll likely hear me mention the most.
✨️Writing✨️
I've been writing since I was six years old, but I started taking it seriously around 13 years old. All in all, it's been 19 years. As of right now, I primarily write Fanfiction but in the past, I've written short stories, poetry and I even tried to learn how to write screenplays at one point.
I wrote my first full-length book in 2018/2019. I started the sequel in early 2020, but I'm still working on it. I lost a LOT of inspiration during the pandemic but I'm finally writing for it again.
If you also enjoy writing, I'd love to "talk shop" with you and maybe we can exchange some of our past works.
✨️Music✨️
Music has gotten me through a lot over the years. Yeah, yeah, I know everyone says that. But it truly has. It's shaped my life and introduced me to a lot of things and people that I probably never would've done or met otherwise.
There's no point in saying I like xyz genre because I've listened to pretty much everything. The only ones I truly hate are country and gangster rap. If you want specifics, though... I've been a HUGE twenty one pilots fan for 9 years. (I have more merch, stickers and other random shit than I care to admit to lmao) I also love other artists like Amber Run, Purity Ring, Phantogram, Daughter, Lorde, OneRepublic... plus tons more.
I've always had this dumb idea of a guy and I confessing to each other through playlists with songs that make us think fondly about each other...
God, I'm single.
✨️Photography✨️
I've been into photography for 10 years and I've had my DSLR for eight years. (It's definitely the camera version of 'Ol Reliable) I enjoy nature and portrait photography. I'd love to show you some of my work and get your thoughts on it.
✨️TV/Movies✨️
TV genres I like: Animation (like Spongebob), comedy, drama, documentaries (disaster and crime ones are my favorites), true crime (like Forensic Files), old sitcoms (like Sanford and Son) and cooking and baking competitions/reality TV (like Kitchen Nightmares US and UK, Hell's Kitchen, Master Chef, The Great British Baking Show, etc)
Movie genres I like: Animation, drama, comedy, action, psychological thrillers and science fiction. I thoroughly loved The Greatest Showman so one could say I like musicals but it's the only one I've seen so not sure if that really counts. Comic book movies are pretty alright too, but I really haven't seen anything past the first Avengers movie lmaooooo.
I say this as unpretentiously as possible, but I haven't seen most popular TV shows or movies that your average person likes. I think the last "popular" thing I watched was that Jeffrey Dahmer series on Netflix. (mainly out of morbid curiosity because everyone was freaking out about it... and because I think Evan Peters is a cutie) I only saw a few episodes and then forgot to watch the rest of it, but it wasn't as horrific as everyone was saying. Maybe I've watched too much Forensic Files and I'm desensitized lmao.
✨️Video and computer games✨️
Video game genres I like: Adventure, action-adventure, RPGs & JRPGs, Strategy... basically anything that is relatively fun and not horror related.
Some of my all-time favorites: Kingdom Hearts II, Ratchet and Clank, Journey, Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy X.
As far as computer games, the only thing I play on a regular basis is The Sims 2 and The Sims 4. As a kid, I loved simulator and time-management games; some old favorites are the RCT series, Simcity: Rush Hour, the first four Diner Dash games, the Delicious series and Burger Shop 2 (which I still have on my computer actually lmao)
✨️Other random interests✨️
Art, traveling, people watching, researching random topics on Wikipedia and watching YouTube, especially channels with old shows and movies.
☆ CAREER ☆
My last position was working nights at a psychiatric hospital. I'm looking for something new at the moment.
☆ ET CETERA ☆
I really love dogs and cats. I have three cats and they're little demons but I love them to death. I also love small animals like ferrets, bunnies and snakes!
My main love languages are words of affirmation, quality time and gift giving/receiving. To be honest, though, there's elements of each language that I enjoy or relate to in one way or another.
I don't smoke and I drink every so often. Otherwise, I'm vaccinated and DDF.
● ABOUT YOU ●
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 23-33 years old. I might be willing to talk to someone within two years in either direction (so 21 min and 35 max) if you meet all my other preferences/wants. If you're younger than 21 or older than 35, though, please don't contact me.
Please be single and emotionally available. I won't interact with anyone already in a relationship or married (even if you're separated or in a "dead bedroom," you're STILL married) and I'm especially not interested in anyone poly/ENM. I'm definitely 100% monogamous.
Hair is super important to me! I prefer medium length to long hair, something I can stroke and play with a lot lmao.
I have a REALLY big soft spot for blue and/or doe eyes, but don't let that deter you. If you have kind eyes, I'll fall in love with them, no matter their color!
I tend to like softer facial features and even softer personalities. Are you super masculine in public but a total softie in private? Lovely! Are you less masculine but a little more feminine? Great! Are you androgynous or otherwise fall somewhere in between? I can dig it!
Key traits that I like in a guy include, but are not limited to: Being sweet, gentle, empathetic, considerate, an active listener, exceptional at communication and willing to go the extra mile for those that you love, be it family, friends, your partner, etc.
With that being said, it's important that you have time for me. I'm not expecting us to talk 24/7 but if you're always too busy to talk to me, this won't work. At some point, I'd like for us to also talk on the phone as our schedules permit, of course.
As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, please be from the USA/North America and willing to meet and get to know each other in person ASAP.
● WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR ●
It's important to me that you're an active listener; what I mean is that you'll make an effort to listen to what I have to say and respond to it accordingly. If I tell you my thoughts on a matter or ask you a question or give you a compliment etc etc, please respond to it. It makes me feel so sad and small if I feel like my thoughts or opinions are not important/relevant.
I can tell pretty quickly if someone is genuinely interested in me or not. Like I said before, I notice everything lol.
I mentioned earlier how one of my love languages is words of affirmation. One of the ways I enjoy that is through compliments. I'm not looking for you to worship the ground I walk on, but being told "You look beautiful" or "When you do xyz, that makes me really happy" makes me feel SO seen and appreciated.
It's incredibly frustrating to send a picture of myself and get a lukewarm response in return. :(
Affection is also super important to me. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, touching... all the cute couple shit. I want you to touch me, not in a pervy way, but in an affectionate way. I want to stroke your hair while I hold you close... little things like that make me incredibly happy.
Keep in mind, everything I want from you, I'll give to you in return. I'll always listen and acknowledge you, give you compliments, shower you in affection, plus whatever else makes you feel wanted and appreciated as a person and in a relationship.
● OUR DYNAMIC ●
I always want you to have a choice and be able to voice your opinion. I will never degrade or boss you around in general, but especially when it comes to your personal choices. I'm a switch that used to be a predominant sub and believe me, I've had doms tell me before, "I make the decision on what you wear, what to eat, who you hang out with, etc etc... because I'm your dom and what I say goes."
Some people may like that. More power to them. But I'm not like that. I want you to feel free to express yourself. If you want my opinion, I'll give it to you, of course. But my job is to build you up and support your decisions, no matter how small!
Again, I'm not looking for you to kiss my ass. I'd love for you to take the lead on most decisions (with my input, of course). But I want you to also have a "service" attitude; whether that's helping out with household chores or surprising me with a massage after work or giving me flowers "just because" or helping me paint my toenails lol... just to name some examples. The sky's the limit.
That extends to "the bedroom" as well. I want my pleasure to be just as important to you as yours is to me.
In short? I just want to feel doted on and taken care of. I want to be the most important person in your life and you be the most important person in my life. I want to make you feel special and praise you and tell you how much you mean to me. And I want the same in return. 💓
● "KINKS" ●
This is inevitably gonna come up at some point. I'll say when it comes to my "kinks" (if you want to call them that) I like:
Teasing, edging, telling you when you can cum and begging me for it (I believe it's called orgasm control/denial), moaning, praise, blindfolds, eye contact, body worshiping (you and me), breast worship, oral, fingering and using toys on you...
Been a little curious about pegging someone one day. We'd have to build up to it, of course, because I don't want to hurt you. If you're not into that, though, don't worry! It's definitely not a requirement.
Things I do NOT like (or hard limits) are:
Humiliation, degradation, anything that causes you or me physical, emotional and mental harm, blood, pee, scat, vomit, diapers, CNC, ageplay, raceplay, hitting, slapping, choking or anything else illegal, unethical or otherwise unloving.
● IN CONCLUSION... ●
If you read all of this, good job! Here's a cookie, hope you like chocolate chip. 🍪
Seriously, though, I can't name every little thing I want. Despite the length of this post, I'm not trying to play Build-A-Boy. I realize you have your own caveats and that's totally fine. Let's get to know each other and see what happens. All I ask for, again, is that you want a serious, longterm relationship and not view me as just some sort of "kink dispenser."
Chats or DMs are fine. When you send me a message, please include the following...
• Name or alias • Location • Age • Height, body type, hair cololength, eye color • Your interests/hobbies • Whether you're a sub or a switch • What you're looking for out of a relationship and something (or things) you really enjoyed about my post • A clear, SFW picture of yourself • Your current favorite song (so I know you actually read through all of this) • Whatever else you want to add to catch my attention. The more you can match my "detailed energy," the better.
I won't reply to those who ignore my preferences or the message requirements above. If you send me nudes/dick pics/sexting or FWB requests/rude messages, you will be blocked and reported.
Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you have a good night!

• Dreamer

(P.S. I don't use Snap, Kik, Telegram, WhatsApp and whatever else. I use Discord and I only give my cell number out to people that I'm comfy with.)

We return from the commercial, a five-minute video that was just a still image of Dexter Flux.
Babaganoush: The following contest is scheduled for -
Crowd: ONE FALL!
Javier smiles at this response, and he’s clearly got confidence that he’s shook the rust off.
Babaganoush: ...And it is for the WiR Tag! Team! Championship!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Babaganoush: Introducing first, the challengers…
Shit, you judge me on my appearance… face value ennat…
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO!
As “Inglorious” plays, King Mustafa exits from behind the curtain with Eddie Skelter following closely. Mustafa has a suit - a blindingly light-blue Christian Dior one - on over his gear and he curses at the crowd, but Eddie, dressed in red sweats, just mean-mugs and gets up in the faces of a few front row spectators.
Mann: Look, I - I know why people hate these lads. I really do! Not blessed with great social graces and they get off on getting ill-gotten cash and hurting people. But they make for a tremendous team, both covering each other’s flaws and fighting as more than the sum of their parts.
The two of them hop up on the ring apron and remove their outer gear - horrifyingly enough, they take off their pants to reveal their short tights - and point to their chests: Mustafa has a lion symbol on his blue gear, while Eddie has a rose symbol on his red gear.
Babaganoush: …From the United Kingdom, weighing in at a total of 445 pounds, they are King Mustafa and Eddie Skelter… TWO! SMOKING! BARRELS!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO! / ENGLAND SUCKS! ENGLAND SUCKS! ENGLAND SUCKS!
Woodbridge: They’re right! They should say it! England DOES suck! That’s why guys like Brendan Byrne came here! He’s a good boy and he’s smart!
Mann: Moving on, and I’d like to apologize to our UK-based fans… as much respect as I have for 2SB, they’ve got their work cut out for them. Because here comes…
Babaganoush: And now, introducing the titleholders…
There is the completely incongruous sound of a blast on a Viking war horn before the jazz classic “Cantaloupe Island” begins to play and champions Jim Baker and Dexter Flux come from behind the curtain together, belts around their waists. Baker has on a chainmail shirt, while Dexter is in a huge fur cloak, which doesn’t even seem to be making them sweat. Their faces are painted with blue woad designs.
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! HORDE! HORDE! HORDE!
Flux: OC BABY!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DEXTER! DEXTER! DEXTER!
Mann: The crowd in Dexter Flux’s home region are giving him love.
Woodbridge: They’re wearing the belts! As it should be! Too much of this damn “I’ll put it over my shoulder” nonsense in wrestling these days.
Mann: And the rejuvenated Horde seems to be taking their name very seriously, judging by those outfits!
Woodbridge: What? What’s that mean?
Mann: Because of the barbarian type clothes -
Woodbridge: I still dunno what you’re talking about.
Mann: sigh I finally am starting to empathize with Allen Paisner.
On their way to the ring, Baker and Flux hand out a bunch of fist bumps; they take a brisk walk up the stairs, get their entrance gear off and hand it to Maurice Chondon for safekeeping, and Baker steps on the middle rope to help Flux in - Dexter is apparently adamant about starting.
Babaganoush: …from Orange County, CA -
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Babaganoush: …and Cincinnati, OH, weighing in at a total of 425 pounds, they are the WiR Tag Team Champions - Jim Baker and Dexter Flux, THE HORDE!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Mann: Dexter Flux clearly going to be in the match first, and it looks like out of 2SB, Eddie Skelter wants to start…
Referee Harry Undersach checks over the four competitors - everyone complies even though Mustafa calls him a “chi chi man” - and signals for the match to begin!
DING DING DING!
Skelter offers a lockup to Flux, which the champion accepts, doing his best to ignore King Mustafa pounding on the ringpost and goading him while making rude English gestures at Baker from across the ring. The two wrestlers in the ring grapple - Skelter puts a facelock on Flux, goes to lock his right arm as well, but Flux gracefully gets out and tries to get a headlock on Skelter. Skelter has none of this and pushes Flux off, but Flux gets him down with an arm drag!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAY!
Mann: Both of these men are accomplished technical wrestlers. Skelter is obviously more a traditional mat wrestler, Flux is well-known for his high flying, but they’re going to do more of feeling each other out like this, I think.
Skelter attempts to put a wrist hold on Flux while the two are both down, but Flux gets out of his grip and kips up, and Skelter gets into a crouch, rising slowly and deliberately with both his eyes fixed on Flux, who assumes a readied stance but doesn’t go to attack Skelter yet. They re-assume a lockup, seemingly out of mutual agreement - this time, Flux manages to snap off a headlock takeover, bringing Flux to the ground again! Instantly he tries for a jumping elbow drop but Skelter rolls out of the way, and Flux makes a smooth recovery, landing on both his hands and pushing back up.
Crowd: AWWWWWWWWW…
Woodbridge: Both guys still actin’ wary. For now. Even Flux didn’t commit too hard to that elbow drop. Woulda been cool to see him break Skelter’s nose like that, hah.
Mann: Be that as it may, I feel like this pace will pick up soon!
Mustafa shouts a little more while Baker looks on calmly but still at the ready. The two stare each other down, and Skelter decides to take the first swing, throwing a fast but vicious jab towards Flux’s face. Flux, however, is able to dodge backwards and follow through with a forward jumping elbow! It hits Skelter square in the chest and he winces but SLAPS Flux right across the right cheek!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! / BOOOOOOOOOO!
Woodbridge: The level of disrespect!
Mann: It’s still a legal strike, Mark. And it’s a treasured part of Eddie Skelter’s arsenal.
Mustafa is obviously pleased at the pimp smack, while Jim Baker looks irate, and is about to gesture for Flux to come back to their corner and tag him in. But Baker thinks the better of it, letting Flux avenge the insult himself instead. This he does, with a nice uppercut to Skelter’s jaw, but even as the Brit reels, before Flux can hit a follow-up attack, Skelter ducks behind him and grabs at his arm, a hold which Flux spins out of. But Skelter isn’t unprepared for this and knees Flux in the gut! He brings a chop down towards Flux’s head as Flux doubles over, but Flux is able to block it - Skelter then locks Flux’s arm and attempts to drop Flux with a Russian legsweep - Flux dodges and goes behind but Skelter turns around in time and throws a hard left-handed punch which Flux counters with an elbow, and both men’s strikes connect! They both stagger!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Woodbridge: Both of ‘em have their fire up! Kill him, Flux!
Mann: No easy task! Now it’s going to be a question of which man is forced to tag out first!
It’s Skelter who gets his head clear first and dives in for a double-leg takedown, which Flux blocks by splitting his legs - Skelter goes under and uses the leverage to attempt to lift Flux onto his shoulders - but Flux is ready for it! He clamps his legs and THROWS skelter with a modified headscissor takedown!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Woodbridge: That tijeras came straight from Guadalajara!
Mann: And now both competitors are on the mat!
Skelter sits up and winces and Flux scrambles to take advantage, but Skelter grabs his ankle and flips him to the mat with an ankle pick! Suddenly both men get about the same idea at the same time - Skelter takes further hold of Flux’s ankle but Flux tries to grapevine one of Skelter’s legs! They battle for a hold on the mat!
Crowd: LET’S GO DEXTER LET’S GO! clap clap LET’S GO DEXTER LET’S GO! clap clap
Meanwhile, dark gray clouds are gathering in the sky above the ring. The venue turns on some extra lights for better visibility.
Woodbridge: We’re onto Indian leg wrestling now!
Mann: That, and it looks like rain.
Woodbridge: You think the Tongva Indians ever used leg wrestling to do a rain dance?
Mann: …I do not think the one thing has to do with the other. Anyhow, the battle in the ring’s been VERY evenly matched so far.
Whilst Skelter goes for a modified figure-four leglock, Flux has something else in mind. He suddenly grips both of Skelter’s ankles, bridges onto his neck, and surprises Skelter by forcing him into a pin!
Woodbridge: DAMN!
Mann: Whoa, a flash pin attempt!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!
Crowd: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…
The pin catches Skelter off guard but it’s clearly not enough. Both men spring to their feet and Skelter tries another double leg takedown attempt which is fended off by a flurry of overhead elbows by Flux! Skelter holds his head and decides he’s had enough for now, backing into his corner and tagging in the furiously waving hand of King Mustafa.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mann: His partner Eddie Skelter may have started off, but the big man of Two Smoking Barrels has wanted in all match so far.
Mustafa leaps in the ring and curses at the crowd once more.
Woodbridge: Dexter Flux is standing firm!
Mann: He did well against Skelter, who was his equal in terms of physical strength, but I have a feeling King Mustafa’s going to absolutely overpower him now!
Mustafa steps right up to Flux and proceeds to slap him in the left cheek!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mann: The cycle of disrespect is completed by Skelter’s teammate!
Flux backs off, before returning back in for a lockup with Mustafa, who uses his size advantage to throw Flux back into his corner, where he tags Skelter back in, and the two stomp Flux down into the corner. Skelter then immediately tags back out to King Mustafa.
Woodbridge: I can’t judge. Literally can’t. Used that tag team tactic there too many times to count.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO
King Mustafa once again overpowers Flux, using her superior size to launch him into the hard camera turnbuckle. He attempts to charge in, but Flux skitters out of the way! Flux tries to bring down King Mustafa with a kick to the knee, but he doesn’t budge. King Mustafa blocks an attempt at a strike, and throws Flux by the arm off the ropes! As Flux careens towards the opposite end, Baker sticks out his hand, and smacks Flux on the shoulder!
Woodbridge: That’s a legal tag!
Flux baseball slides underneath King Mustafa, who is unaware the tag has been made, while Baker comes in and pearl harbors him! Baker takes control with an overhand right, a blow to the chest, and a Russian leg sweep, before attempting a body slam, which King Mustafa is too large for. Mustafa offers Baker a test of strength, but before Baker can even accept, he kicks him in the gut.
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Mustafa scoops Baker up with ease, and delivers a gorilla press slam, taking a moment to flex for the unappreciative crowd before continuing his assault. Mustafa wrenches the arm of Baker, before tagging Skelter back in. Skelter climbs up to Bret’s Rope, and while Mustafa wrenches the arm, Skelter dives off, and delivers a double axe handle to the trapped arm!
Mann: Some solid teamwork here by The Barrels!
Skelter puts the larger Baker on the mat with a clubbing blow to the back, before delivering a fist drop to the skull. Skelter, relishing his small victory, backs off the ropes and prepares an elbow drop, but Baker rolls out of the way, and tags Flux back in! Flux charges in once again to meet Skelter… and is caught instantly with an arm drag. Skelter brings him down to the mat, and applies a sleeper hold…
Crowd: BOOOOO
But Baker charges back into the ring, and breaks it up! King Mustafa enters the ring to try and chase Baker off, drilling Flux with a shoulder tackle as soon as he lands on his feet with a kip-up, planting him back on the ground. Mustafa returns to his corner, while Skelter ascends a turnbuckle!
Mann: Not something we’re used to seeing! Skelter wants to beat Flux at his own game!
Skelter dives off the top, attempting a flying forearm… and falls short. As he tries to get back to his feet, Flux batters him with a closed fist, before whipping him off the far ropes, but Skelter is able to turn it around. Flux attempts a sunset flip to regain control, but Skelter simply pops down and pokes him in the eye.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
While Skelter is told off by the official, King Mustafa sneaks into the ring to deliver a stomp to Flux, before skittering back to the apron. Skelter picks up Flux, to deliver a forearm, before walk-dragging Flux over to the corner by his hair, and tagging Mustafa back in. Skelter holds Flux by the hair, and Mustafa stomps his boot before delivering a knee to the stomach as Skelter heads back to the apron. Mustafa whips Flux, and as he returns, scoops him up for a powerslam, before rising to his feet, walking to the ropes, and preparing a knee drop, which Flux avoids! Flux crawls on his knees over to the corner before Mustafa can catch him, and tags Baker back in! Flux takes position on the apron, one foot on the second turnbuckle.
Finally, the sky has opened up! It begins to rain on the ring, the crowd, and even the announcers!
Mann: Didn’t I say it was going to rain?
Woodbridge: It’s not bothering anybody one bit!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHHHH
Baker charges in, delivering a pair of punches to try and slow down Mustafa, but they fail to knock him off his feet. Baker tries charging in for a clothesline, Mustafa ducks, but as Baker approaches, he attempts a sunset flip!
Crowd: A-LO-HA KING! A-LO-HA KING!
Mann: Uncharacteristic offense from Baker!
Woodbridge: I’ll say! Baker’s a great power guy, but I didn’t think he’d even ever seen one of those!
Mustafa refuses to go down, but as he struggles, Flux suddenly leaps from the apron to the top turnbuckle, before flying in with a dropkick! Mustafa stumbles, and Baker pulls him down for the rollup!
Woodbridge: Oh shit!
Mann: Huge missile dropkick, and the mat’s slick with rain now! Mustafa had to go down!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Skelter breaks up the pin! Skelter then grabs Flux by the hair again, and darts him shoulder-first into his own ringpost. He bends the aching Flux backwards and grabs his neck for a dragon sleeper…
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! / GO FLUX GO!
Mann: He won’t be able to submit Flux unless Mustafa gets tagged out!
Woodbridge: I don’t think he wants to! This is gonna be Lack of…
Skelter twists Flux around and fires off a fat open-palm thrust to Flux’s throat, making Flux sputter and drop to his knees!
Woodbridge: TRUST! Nasty!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mustafa, who has recovered from the takedown, then proceeds to deliver an elbow to Flux’s crown! The two work over their opponents in the corners- Skelter attempting to ground Flux with kicks to the knee, Mustafa using his large arms to deliver repeated clotheslines, and with Flux and Baker tied up in opposite corners, Two Smoking Barrels attempt to whip their Horde counterparts into each other! As the two partners head on a collision course, Baker suddenly drops down, in back-body drop position to Flux, who lands on his feet!
Crowd: YEEAAAHHHH
Flux continues his momentum by delivering a running knee to King Mustafa, who is in his corner, before charging back a Baker, who offers a hand, and gives Flux a launching pad to deliver a flying forearm to Skelter! Skelter flops out of the corner, and out of the ring, and with the support of Knott’s Berry Farm behind him, Flux charges, and flies through the ropes with a dive that takes out both men!
A few members of the crowd begin to open up umbrellas, including the fan who got The Milkman’s earlier
Baker approaches Mustafa in the corner, and attempts to lift him to the second rope, but gets met with a boot for his troubles. Mustafa trades places with Baker, and pops him in the jaw, before delivering another one to the ribs, and a third to the temple. Baker blocks a fourth attempt, and turns it around on Mustafa! Baker unloads with a series of right hands of his own! Mustafa powers Baker out of the corner, and throws him to the opposite. Mustafa charges in, but as he tries to charge in, Baker moves out of the way, and attempts another rollup! This time he’s able to get Skelter off balance!
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Flux ascends from the grass to the apron, and Baker tags him in! Baker attempts to lift Skelter once again, but struggles to, as he breaks free, but Flux delivers a dropkick, and Mustafa stumbles into Baker’s arms, who lifts him for a scoop slam!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHHH
Mann: He did it! He slammed him!
Woodbridge: This is where Baker shines! Not only displaying his power, but being great in the clutch!
Skelter tries to get in the ring again, but Flux meets him with a superkick! Skelter tries to keep his balance, but slips on the wet Apron and drops to the grass! Flux grabs the arm, and tags Baker back in, who delivers a clothesline to the trapped Mustafa, dropping him again. Flux gets the tag back in, and ascends the ropes…
And delivers Quantum Flux! He blasts down onto the King, into a puddle of rainwater forming in the center of the ring!
Woodbridge: QUANTUM FLUX! QUANTUM FLUX! DEXTER SEIZES THE MOMENT! MAN HAS FOLLOWTHROUGH!
Skelter tries to scramble back to the ring to make the save, Baker meets him, and holds him down! Flux scrambles into the cover!
ONE
TWO
THREE
DING DING DING
Crowd: YYEEEEAAAHHHHHH
Mann: And The Horde are victorious!
Woodbridge: And damn do they deserve it!
Babaganoush: Your winners and STILL WiR Tag Team Champions, at a time of twelve minutes and forty-three seconds, The Horde!
Flux and Baker hug it out in the ring, holding their tag belts high. Tony “The Milkman” Stevens emerges from the back, knee wrapped in medical tape and casts, limps to the ring, and raises the hands of his stablemates! Everyone is going crazy, especially because the hometown boy defended the stable’s belts by getting the pin!
Flux and Baker each get up on a turnbuckle, holding their tag belts up high, while in the ring, Stevens stands alone in the middle, one leg down, hair slicking back over his face from rain.
Mann: Fans at home, this has been Sound Off! The weather outside has turned frightful, but this show has been delightful! I have been Shay D. Mann filling in for Allen Paisner, alongside Mark Woodbridge. Take us home, Woodbridge!
Woodbridge: I finally feel confident in saying this - it has felt like a wonderful, shine-drunk dream so far - but folks, we are so fucking back. For all of the incredible fighters in WiR, for our whole staff and crew, and for my short-term broadcast partner Shay D. Mann, this has been Sound Off, and I have been Mark Woodbridge - gooooood night everybody!

Babaganoush: The following contest is scheduled for one fall…
Crowd: One fall!
And is for… the WiR Television Championship! Already in the ring, the challenger, weighing in at 235 pounds, The Suuuuuuperstar!
Banaganoush: And Already in the ring, the champion, “Guaranteed, Gabe Garvin!”
Ding Ding Ding!
Mann: And the bell rings here, and we are back underway at Sound Off! Presented by Dexter Flux.
The Superstar does a little spin as he approaches Gabe Garvin and the two back off from each other. The two wrestlers stare down a moment, before launching at each other with a collar and elbow tie-up. The Superstar gains the upper hand and locks Garvin in a headlock. Garvin, in a headlock, however, gets pushed into the ropes, where he gets pushed away. Garvin looks for a back body drop as The Superstar bounces off the ropes, but eats a boot for his trouble. Garvin tries to regain control by lifting Superstar on his shoulders, Superstar shifts back to the ground, but gets lifted and dropped on his chest! The Superstar is forced to roll out of the ring to recover.
Crowd: [Apathetic Silence]
Garvin goes under the bottom rope and gets quickly caught with a kick to the stomach. The Superstar throws Garvin into the barricade and begins to hammer away.
Woodbridge: And The Superstar turning things around here!
Mann: And folks, we’ll be back after these messages from our sponsors!
Woodbridge: Why are we going to commercial, the match just st-
The following advertisement plays
We fade back into the action with a crowd shot, which stays longer than comfortable on a shot of 40 apathetic fans. As it cuts back to the ring, we see Gabe Garvin deliver a vertical suplex to The Superstar, before going to a pin that convinces nobody of its success.
Mann: And we are back here at Sound Off! Garvin has regained control here!
The Superstar rolls to the corner and forces a momentary break. As the ref tries to restore order, The Superstar throws an overhand shot at Garvin- who blocks it and responds in kind, backing the Superstar back into the corner, and whipping him across the ring. As Superstar bounces off with a thud, Garvin hits the ropes beside him and hits a bulldog. Garvin goes for a cover, which gets a…
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
The Superstar flops into the corner once more, and Garvin is halted from pulling him away by the official. As The Superstar exits the corner, Garvin is right back on top of him, whips him off the ropes, and delivers a back body drop! The Superstar rolls out of the ring once more, but Garvin follows in pursuit. Garvin charges in, but gets caught with a drop-toe hold, and crashes into the announce table.
Mann: Watch out!
Woodbridge: Garvin seeking to capitalize on his newfound momentum here…
Crowd: [Does not care]
The Superstar throws Garvin back into the squared circle, and delivers a club to the back of his head, Followed by stomps and a knee drop. Superstar waits for Garvin to try and get back up, before stomping again, followed by a punch. As Garvin powers back to his feet, The Superstar looks to grab him, but Garvin pulls him in for a belly-to-belly suplex! Superstar shuffles into the corner, followed by Garvin, who eats a boot for his trouble before The Superstar storms out with a lariat. The Superstar looks for a chin lock, but Garvin is too oily, and he slips free. Superstar retaliates for this oily transgression with a fist and applies a headlock to a cornered Garvin.
Mann: And The Superstar getting some offense here, Garvin is in trouble! Can our TV champion save the match?
The Superstar works the headlock in the corner until the ref forces a break, at which juncture The Superstar turns around and throws his fists at Garvin. Following this, The Superstar lifts Garvin to his feet and goes for a whip, but as Garvin hits the other turnbuckle, he lifts his left foot to kick an incoming Superstar! As Garvin looks to capitalize, The Superstar grabs the leg that kicked him and takes Garvin down to the mat. Superstar drops an elbow on Garvin’s knee, and a second elbow, before looking for a knee twist, which Garvin pushes away from.
Mann: And Garvin fends off the Superstar’s onslaught! What a heroic effort by our TV Champion!
Crowd: [awkward silence]
Garvin sells his injured knee for a moment, before using it to pull a charging Superstar down with a drop-toe hold, flip Superstar over, and try to apply a submission, but this time, The Superstar pushes Garvin away! The Superstar delivers an elbow to a staggered Garvin, before delivering a Russian leg sweep, and going for a cover.
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
The Superstar is in disbelief that his leg sweep failed to get the victory, and he pulls Superstar by the arm, before kicking his downed body in the rib. Garvin throws himself off the ground to throw a punch at Superstar’s gut, but as he gets up, he is once again cut off by a clothesline, and a pin attempt.
ONE
TWO
Kickout.
Crowd: [Apathetic, a smattering of boos, and a single portly fan in a Shooting Association shirt attempting to start a “boring” chant]
Woodbridge: The Superstar is unable to get the best of Garvin despite some strong offense here, and the longer this goes on, the more I like the TV Champion’s chances in this match.
Mann: And all the Garvinites in the crowd cheering for their hero to make a comeback!!
Crowd shot of bored audience quickly pans back to the ring, where The Superstar is applying an arm wringer
Mann: And this match of course is presented by our sponsors, over at Mann Corporation!
The Superstar transitions to a half camel clutch, still clutching the arm of Garvin
Mann: Mann Corporation is committed to providing high-quality products to all of our loyal customers! Use code “WiR” at checkout for 3.5% off select items at MannCoStore.com!
The Superstar has transitioned into a standing headlock
Mann: If you buy within the next 7 minutes, all Gabe Garvin merchandise is 10% off! Act fast! And now, back to the action!
Garvin powers out of the headlock and whips The Superstar into a corner. He charges in, and misses, as The Superstar moves out of the way, and attempts to lock in another arm wringer. Garvin tries to power out but fails, and the hold is applied.
Superstar: ASK HIM!
Garvin does not submit, and once again tries to lift himself upwards. Superstar sees this, and shifts so that he is lying down on the back of Garvin, still applying the arm wringer. Garvin winces in agony and reaches for the rope with his free hand. Unable to reach them, Garvin Begins to power himself upwards for the third time, and this one is successful, as he slowly works his way up to his feet, Superstar now trapped in the air in a fireman’s carry. The Superstar pushes himself off as Garvin gets to his feet, and tries to throw a punch. Trying to reclaim the momentum, The Superstar goes for an Irish whip, and looks for a dropkick as Garvin returns, but to no avail! Garvin holds onto the rope, and The Superstar crashes back to the ground.
Mann: And Garvin escaping the hold! Superstar is dazed!
Woodbridge: And this could be the opening the TV Champion needs to regain control of this match! The Superstar is in trouble, as Gabe is Garving up!
Mann: It’s Garvin’ time!
Garvin bounds off the ropes and leaps for a flying clothesline!
Mann: What a maneuver!
Garvin hits the ropes again, and nails a staggered Superstar with another flying clothesline! The Superstar writhes in agony as he tries to pull himself back to a standing base, where Garvin is waiting for him. Garvin bounces off the ropes, and nails a rising Superstar with a shoulder block.
Mann: Vintage Garvin! And he has the upper hand! The fans here on their feet!
Crowd: [Silent, sitting down]
Garvin ascends to the second rope, and as a wounded Superstar ascends once more, he leaps for a double ax handle, but nobody is home! The Superstar looks to capitalize with a DDT, but it gets blocked by Garvin, who fights out, throws Superstar against the ropes, and hits another shoulder block. With The Superstar down, Garvin looks at the crowd, backs against the ropes, and hits a fist drop!
One guy in the crowd Crowd: YEEEAAAH WE FUCKIN LOVE THE FIST DROP YEEEEAAHHH
Crowd: WOOO!! GAR-VIN! GAR-VIN!
Woodbridge: And the people exploding for Garvin’s fist drop! (?)
Garvin looks almost surprised at the suddenly raucous crowd, and motions for his finishing maneuver! As soon as he indicates he isn’t going for another fist drop, the crowd dies and goes back to their silence. Superstar stumbles to his feet, gets his arm trapped, and’s he’s lifted into the air, before being slammed down with a Pump Handle Slam! Garvin goes into the cover…
ONE
TWO
THREE!
DING DING DING!!
Mann: And Gabe Garvin retains!
Woodbridge: His victory was all but Garunteed
Babaganouh: And here is your winner, at a time of Seven minutes and Forty-Five seconds… Garunteed Gaaaaaabeeeeee Gaaaaarviiiin!!
Crowd [Scant Murmors]
Mann: And tonight we have seen a truly memorable title defense from our heroic TV Champion, Gabe Garvin. And to watch all of Garvin’s matches from the comfort of your home, go to WWW dot Wrestle Is Reddit dot com slash Garvin for all the latest updates! And a special thanks to our sponsor for this show, JDate!
The monitor shows Dexter Flux on screen, who immediately gets a crowd pop 10x louder than anything of the past 7:45
Crowd: FLUX! FLUX! FLUX! WE LOVE FLUX!
Flux: I'm not… I'm not Jewish, but that's really not what JDate is about. It's about like… dating. JDate is what JDate is. That's what it is. I'm Dexter Flux. I'm the President of the United States. Thank you for your service.
The monitor cuts back to the crowd going bananas for Flux. A guy is screaming and beating the shit out of the old woman sitting next to him because he loves Dexter Flux so much.
Mann: And you too can be just like these happy people if you buy a Gabe Garvin T-Shirt, now 4% off at select TJ Maxx stores near you!
Garvin holds up his title on the apron while the crowd cheer for Flux, and a photographer gets a photo of the victorious champion in front of a cheering crowd. As Garvin gets down from Bret’s rope, the camera cuts to…
Something else. It's shot differently, worse cameras that pan around instead of cut. No commentary. No acknowledgment. It's a documentary shoved in the middle of a wrestling show.
We're in a church basement, or a community gym, or something like that, with hardwood floors and dim, white light pouring in through windows near the top of the room. There's a table next to the door with a coffee machine and paper cups and a door to the outside propped open, so people can step out to smoke. A voice speaks up.
Teddy (O.S.): I don't think I've ever been a good person.
We move to the middle of the room. There's a circle of people sitting in chairs, looking at one whose face is obscured but whose voice most WiR diehards recognize. The circle's watching him carefully, skeptically. A couple of them glance at the camera as it moves by, which seems like an outsider - a perverse interloper. Some of them are recognizable, heels from all over the wrestling scene. Most of them seem miserable to be here, unrepentant. One figure, dressed up, seems more warm in his posture, but we don't see his face either.
Teddy (O.S.): I don't think I've ever really tried, I mean. I've been a good guy, for a little bit. Here and there. But I wasn't who I was. I was somebody trying to get cheered, trying to make sure they loved me. And when they didn't, I just… I snapped.
Finally, we see him, the object of their attentions. He is sitting in a chair, dressed down in a t-shirt, paper cup of coffee by his feet. Teddy Coronado. There's no charisma to the way he speaks. He was a preacher once, electrifying, manic, an embodiment of television airwaves. Now, he's mumbling. The camera zooms in on his face, as he tried to put together the next few words, shaking his head. The words seem ridiculous to say and maybe that's because they're wrestling words and this man - sitting here, in the basement - does not seem to be a wrestler.
Teddy: I'm Teddy Coronado and… Sorry. I'm Teddy and I'm a heel.
Others (all together): Hi, Teddy.
He cringes at them.
Teddy: I've been…
He stops, sucking on his tongue. It's the noise of a crowd, again.
Teddy: I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this.
Spence (O.S.): It's alright.
The camera pans over to a much more shocking face, Spence Cooper, dressed like a normal person, with a buttoned-up v-neck, instead of his usual attire as one half of the Golden State Stars, wearing mesh shirts and whatever nonsense is left. The rest of the group turns to him with a sort of reverence that seems wholly unfitting for him.
Spence: This is hard stuff, Teddy, alright - this is hard stuff, everybody. I mean, when I was a member of the Golden State Stars-
Chaz (O.S): GOLDEN! STATE! ST-
Spence: Chaz.
We whip pan to Chaz Levine, who is also there. He is dressed less like a normal person.
Chaz: Sorry, bro, still working on it.
Spence: We all have hiccups, is what I was saying. This is hard work. That's why not everybody does it. But it's good work. You've been here for a long time, right?
He's staring at the ground as he said it, as if ashamed.
Teddy: Six months.
Spence: Six months and it's still hard. That should show to everyone else here that even the best of us You can do it, Teddy. You can say it.
Teddy takes a breath, tries to put it together. After a few seconds, he looks back up. And it's almost there. That spark, that fire in his eyes.
Teddy: I've… been thinking about things, recently. I've been thinking about my time as a wrestler. I've done a lot of things in this business - and I'm not bragging about that, but I'm saying it because I need to say it. I was the best guy on the mic for a long time. I was good in the ring, too. I beat some of the best people in that company and sometimes I even did it clean.
There's a chuckle at that, in the room, and he gives a rueful smile, for a second, looking back on everything. Then it fades. So does the light in his eyes. Teddy looks at his feet, again, but the rest of them are listening, now. Most of them hate this place, but they listen
Teddy: I lied, I cheated, I stole. I used every dirty fucking trick in the book - you can look. My granddad wrote it. I used weapons. I hired my own ref. I made my own matches. I attacked people from behind the scenes. I once wrestled with a cardboard cut-out, so I could move its torn-off foot under the bottom rope to get a break.
He's looking up, now, and the fire isn't in his eyes, but it's in his words.
Teddy: I gave up everything for that title, for those accolades, for those year-end awards, for my hand raised up at the end of the night. I've got a claim to being the best champion in that company's history. I went into this business looking for all of that. I said to myself that I'd be different than my family, from my great-grandfather, from my grandfather, from my…
He stops. He leaves the final word unsaid.
Teddy: But that's not what I'm saying. I had the chance to change my name. I had a shitty start, but I had my own agency. What I did was my own. And by the end, I gave up that. I gave up my decency, my integrity, my dedication to this art, I gave up everything I have - and I don't have anything to show for it.
There's a crippling silence, for a few moments, the kind of silence you only notice when everything felt so loud before it.
Teddy: I don't talk to any of the roster I was a part of. My name doesn't get mentioned in promos. The fans - the fans that used to jeer my name, who serenaded me after I was forced out of that company - they don't think about me. I gave up everything I ever had and I don't…
He takes a shallow breath, emotional, seeming to hold back tears as he rubs his temples. A man offers him a tissue box but he waves it aside. For as much pride as he has managed to put aside, he can't allow himself to cry in front of the only people he's ever been genuine to.
Teddy: I got an offer, recently. You guys know about it.
Teddy half-heartedly gestures at the camera and a couple of them glance back at it. Chaz, on the edge of frame, flexes a little bit when reminded a camera is watching him.
Teddy: I got an offer to come back to WiR. They're coming back, apparently, again. They've offered me a couple times, over the years, and I almost took it. I even said I would, once, before. Back when I still had the bookstore. And then I started training and I became what I was, again, and I gave up the bookstore, and I was so fucked up I couldn't even make it to the show, because I realized, in that ring…
He pauses and they're all listening. He hates that, because he knows why they're listening and why he's talking. Because the fire, suddenly, is there. It's there in his eyes. It's there in his voice. It's there in the way he sits in that chair, the knotting his hands do as he talks, but most of all it's there in the crowd, listening with rapt attention.
Teddy: There's the Teddy Coronado with the money, with the television show, with the betrayal and the burials, even the Teddy who dressed up like a dentist and said he hated bullies. They say I've been a lot of people, had a lot of gimmicks, but the trick is they're all the same one. They're all somebody who needs to have the whole world know that they're the best. But they're all masks. Facades. And when I got into that ring, lit by halogen lights, no one in the audience, no one facing me in that ring, no one there but me, I realized the truth.
The fire in his voice has burned away and, now, he speaks in ashes: harsh, more serious than he's ever been, and more painful. He is being true.
Teddy: I don't know what's beneath those masks. I don't. A part of me is terrified that there isn't anything there. That the shit I've done, to other people, to the industry as a whole, that's who I am. I've tried to find out who it is, out here. I tried to open a bookstore, I tried to become a trainer, I tried to get as far away from that ring as possible.
He stops, again. The crowd is fully drawn in, now, and a furrowed brow of concern on Spence's face breaks through the mask of supportiveness.
Teddy: But, when I got that email, that offer… I think I realized that there's only one way for me to figure that out-
Spence: Teddy…
Teddy turns his eyes to Spence, but there's a weariness to his eyes. He's already made up his mind. He made it up before he even entered this room, before he even entered the cameras in, before Spence even says the thing he knows he's about to say.
Spence: Teddy, I know what you're about to say. And I want to tell you in front of the group, because I know you don't want there to be secrets here. I've been lured that way. We all have, but you have to know that there is a risk to what you're about to say. Some people can recover, can re-enter that ring, Teddy, but some people can't.
There is a warmth in Spence's eyes that make you realize that this is not the same man that was a Golden State Star. Not anymore. But he knows that he can't change his mind.
Spence: This is in your hands, Teddy. It always is.
Teddy sits there, genuinely considering the words and then he smiles. Knows how absurd what he's about to say is. And then he speaks, just as resolute as before. No. More so.
Teddy: I know. But I hear it in me. I hear the roar of the crowd, with me or against me. I hear my opponent's music hit. I hear the bending of the mat, the straining of the ropes, the fight. I know that who I was in there was a monster. But I know that, if there's something of me left, beneath all of this, it's in there.
He stands up.
Teddy: This is what I'm choosing to do, Spence. I'm sorry.
Teddy walks out of the circle, across the hardwood floor, and steps out the door. The camera doesn't follow.
Javier (O.S.): Ladies and gentlemen, the Independent Champion, Diiiiiiiiick Dover!
We cut back to Knott's Berry Farm, where the crowd reacts in a mixed fashion to the announcement of Dick Dover. Prisoner of Society hits, and Dick Dover walks through the curtain with the Independent Championship over his shoulder.
Mann: The Independent Champion enters the building, he says he has an announcement to make.
Woodbridge: That’s right, Shay. We don’t know what it’s going to be, but when Dover walked into the venue this afternoon, he insisted on addressing the crowd.
Dover grabs a mic from Maurice Chondon ringside, then walks up the stairs, wipes his feet on the apron, and enters the ring. He then turns to face the crowd.
Dover: I know you all have a lot of thoughts about me, but let’s get one thing clear right now. There’s been a lot of time gone by since you last saw me. But don’t get me wrong, one thing wouldn’t have changed no matter how long we’ve been apart. I am still your Independent Champion.
Crowd: mix of boos and applause
Dover: But there have been changes. Changes in the world and changes with myself, and it’s time for me to share with you all some changes I’ve made. When WiR went on hiatus i-
Nitroglycerin hits as Joey McCarty storms out from behind the curtain holding a mic.
Crowd: Boooooooooo
McCarty: No no no no no no fuck this shit. I know what this is. I’m not stupid.
McCarty stomps down to the ring.
McCarty: Dick, you’ve talked all this talk about being a fighting champion, but I know a retirement announcement when I see one.
McCarty slides into the ring and pops up to his feet, pacing around Dover.
McCarty: and you must be out of your mind to think you can walk out of here title held high, to a cheering crowd, and go out as champion. You’re out of your goddamn mind.
Dover walks towards McCarty.
Dover: You don’t even-
McCarty: Save it, honestly. I came into this business as an outsider, and I was given the crash course. I don’t know where you learned this, it might have been in dogwater Florida, but it certainly wasn’t in Toronto.
Dover: Joey, you’ll shut the hell up if you know what’s good for you.
McCarty: What I was taught is that you always go out on your back. If you won’t do that, then I’ll do that for you.
Dover goes to talk, but McCarty slaps him.
McCarty: So what you’re going to do right now, is lie down, stare at the lights, and you can end your career the way you’re supposed to, and watch me coronate myself as a triple crown champion.
Dover: Interesting point Joey, counterpoint:
Dover hits McCarty with a spinning back elbow, sending him to the mat!
Dover: You don’t tell me what to fucking do. So here’s what we’re actually going to do, I’m going to show these people I am a fighting champion, we’re going to get a ref out here, and I’m going to whoop your ass
Crowd: YAYYYYY
Mann: HOLD ON A SECOND, DOVER. YOU DON’T GET TO PROMISE PEOPLE MATCHES, I MAKE THE MATCHES but that is a good idea so lets get a ref out here BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Crowd (a little more confused): YAYYY
Jeff Boone sprints out from backstage at full speed and dives headfirst under the rope into the ring.
Boone: ALRIGHTWEGOTAREGULARCHAMPIONSHIPMATCHONEFALLLET’SKEEPITCLEANBOYSNOCLOSEDKNUCKLESONPUNCHESNOHAIRPULLINGIWON’THAVEANYNONSENSEINTHISRINGYOUHEREMEOKRINGTHEBELL
The bell rings, leaving both men a little stunned at how quickly this match has started. Joey moves into action first, lurching for Dover, arms outstretched in a clear indication that Joey wants to initiate a classic “Test of Strength.” Dick Dover knocks away the hands and shoots for a double-leg takedown, sending Joey sprawling to the mat.
Mann: Wow, an incredibly technical start for Dover. Sometimes I think we forget home in depth his wrestling knowhow is.
Dick Dover is slowly overpowering Joey from underneath, when a glint shines in the Canadian’s eyes. A brutal knee to the face erupts from McCarty, slamming into Dover’s nose. Dover steps back, covering his damaged face. Blood begins to drip onto the mat.
Woodbridge: Wow, Dover is absolutely busted up!
Paisner: That’s the opportunistic streak of McCarty showing. Give him an inch, he’ll take a mile and sell you back the inch for triple it’s market value.
Dover shakes his head, trying to clear up the fog inflicted from Joey’s move. Before he gets a chance to recover, Joey is behind him, snaking his arms up to lock Dover in a full nelson. Dover is in a precarious position, but he digs his fingers into Joey’s eyes, cause the hold to release.
Woodbridge: A savvy veteran move, but is it legal?
Mann: Absolutely not. It seems like this ref is going to let them play on, for some reason. Very hands off.
Woodbridge: When you’ve got two fighters who will do whatever it takes to win, sometimes it’s best to just let them go at it. Anything less than that could give the other an unfair advantage.
Dover throws a couple quick strikes to McCarty’s midsection. Joey winces and bends over, giving Dick the opportunity to hit him with a Leg Drop Bulldog that pounds Joey into the mat!
Crowd: WOOOOAH!
Dover capitalizes on McCarty’s grounded position, dropping some falling elbows into the fallen man. But the third elbow doesn’t land cleanly, given Joey the opportunity to flip over and nail another knee into Dover, this time right on the side of his head.
Mann: Hard to imagine these headshots won’t have an effect on Dover if this match goes long.
A quick leap to his feet, and Joey finally has the position he wanted in the beginning, locking up Dover in a contested full collar tie. He gains the upper hand, and begins controlling Dover towards the corner. A grasp of Dover’s wounded head, and then suddenly McCarty is rubbing Dover’s face all over the ringpost!
Crowd: OOOF
But Dover isn’t one to take something like this without fighting back. A wild leg flail nails McCarty right in the gonads, sending him backwards in pain. The ref looks to step in, but then decides not to as Dover runs towards his and lands an uppercut into lariat combo that sends Joey back down to the ground. Dover attempts a cover!
1!
No!
Joey kicks out with relative ease, prompting Dover to consider more violence towards the grounded wrestler.
Mann: What could this devilish man be considering next?
Dover sits on McCarty.
Woodbridge: A chair!
A quick pivot from Dover, and suddenly Joey is up in the air, face in anguish from the inverted surfboard stretch.
Woodbridge: A painful chair!
Suddenly, a voice rings out from the crowd.
Random Fan: DOVER IS STILL LAME!
Dover, mildly irritated by the fan, releases the hold on Joey, sending the stretched out man to the mat. He gets up and aggressively points to the crowd in the direction of the mysterious fan.
Dover: Hey Asshole! You wanna see lame? I’ll show you lame!
Dover grabs Joey’s hair and becomes slamming punches into the downed man’s face.
Crowd: LAME DOVER LAME DOVER LAME DOVER
A frustrated Dover now releases the hold and turns his back on Joey, heading over to the ringpost. He begins to remove the cover. At this point, blood has completely covered his chest. Joey stirs and stands, sneaking up to behind Dover. A quick snatch and Joey has surprise rolled up Dover for a pin!
1!
2!
No!
Dover kicks out and gets back to his feet, but Joey is quicker and grabs Dover’s arm for an irish whip, sending him into the exposed ring post!* The hard metal digs into the small of Dover’s back and he reels in pain, back into Joey who snags his wrist, twisting it into a hold. Dover is up in the air and slammed back onto his neck as Joey lands a modified Fisherman Driver on the champion!
Crowd: OOOOOHHHHH!!!!
It’s Joey’s turn to batter the grounded Dover, repeatedly sending soccer kicks into his skull. The dull sound of bone against flesh carries through the arena in a way that makes most attendees uncomfortable. Joey lifts Dover to his feet, intending to whip him into the exposed ring post again, but Dover has seen this before. He counters with a reversal, sending McCarty into the ropes, McCarty rebounds and Dover SLAMS him into the mat with a teeth-rattling spinebuster!
Crowd: YAYYYYY
Mann: I’m not sure if Dover’s winning the crowd over or if they just enjoy seeing Joey get hurt, either way, Dover is red-hot!
Dover grabs McCarty, and goes into the set up for his Doverleaf! But before he can, a small figure pops up onto the apron.
Woodbridge: WOAH, WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?!
Gigi appears holding a spray bottle and she sprays a fine clear mist right into Dover’s eyes and cackles maniacally!
Mann: What’s this?! It's Gigi! And she’s just assaulted Dover with some sort of liquid!
Dover drops McCarty and grabs at his eyes. Kaitlyn Casey Jones appears from the crowd, holding a sign that says “GAMER GIRL BATHWATER $279.69”, she hops the barricade and grabs a mic, laughing with Gigi. Jones pulls a card out of her pocket and starts reading it.
KCJ: Hey faaaans, if you’re looking to order some of the water that our favorite e-girl actually bathes in, it’s up on the website right now! Guaranteed to have touched Gigi’s skin, go to www.gigigamergirlgush.pizza for more details. Fuck you, Dick!”
Gigi: I wrote that last part.
McCarty clambers to his feet, confused. He notices Dover staggering, and launches himself into the air, connecting with a superman punch to the back of Dover’s skull.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: BERTUZZI! DOVER’S OUT COLD
Woodbridge: I can’t believe this, Dover’s had the title stolen from him!
McCarty scrambles to cover Dover.
1
2
3-NO
Crowd: WOAAAAAH YAYYY
Mann: Dover kicked out!
Woodbridge: How!?!?
McCarty stumbles to the corner in disbelief, and collapses into a seated position onto the bottom turnbuckle, the crowd swells, and McCarty’s confounded expression turns to disbelief and then to anger, he pops to his feet and stomps towards Dover.
Woodbridge: What do either of these men have left in the bag?!
McCarty lifts Dover to his feet, cussing him out as he does. McCarty attempts his Bus Driver Uppercut, but Dover springs to life and catches him, and PLANTS him with a kneeling jawbreaker!
Mann: Cliffs of Dover!
Woodbridge: From the last of his energy!
Mann: Cover!
1
2
3
DING DING DING
Crowd: YAYYYYY!
Mann: Dover is still Independent Champion!
Before Javier can make the announcement, Gigi and KCJ hit the ring and attack Dover, as McCarty rolls out of the ring, jumping him and punching and kicking Dover while he’s down.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOO
Woodbridge: What the hell is this?!
Mann: Gigi still thinks she’s owed a shot at the Independent Championship, she must have made some sort of deal with McCarty to get her match!
Woodbridge: And now that her plan is up in smoke, she’s taking it out on Dover!
Gigi and KCJ continue their assault, KCJ picks up the mic and is about to speak, but before she can, Adam Raised A Cain plays.
Crowd: YAYYYYYYYY
Woodbridge: Someone else with unfinished business, Mark Dutch!
Mark Dutch runs out, Joey McCarty is standing on the ramp, and Dutch shoulder checks him out of the way! Dutch then slides into the ring, and pulls KCJ off of Dover and out of the ring! Gigi scrambles out of the ring away from Dutch.
Mann: Last time we saw these two, they were at eachothers throats, but now Dutch comes to save Dover? What’s going on?
Woodbridge: Looks like there's still lots of unfinished business around these parts.
Mann: That’s enough of this.
Mann grabs a stick mic and attempts to stand on the commentary table, but it wobbles so he instead stands on his chair
Mann: When I brought this company back, it wasn’t for what it was, but what it can become, so I can’t have you three stinking up the joint with old beef, so let’s settle this at the next show. You three for the Independent Title. a brief pause to let that sink in
Crowd: WOOOOOOO
Mann sits back down with a grin on his face.
Mann: I like this “making matches live” thing
Woodbridge: Could stand to work on your crowd work though.
Mann: More WiR action, after this!
Dover, Dutch and Gigi staring eachother down as we fade out to commercial.

Previously unannounced press conference, May 31, 2023.

Cameras are rolling as the owner of Mann Corporation, Shay D. Mann, hair in a perfectly put-together part, adorned in a navy suit and white tie, steps forward to a podium, in front of a WiR backdrop, microphone in hand.
Mann: My name is Shay Duncan Mann. And I am the new owner and proprietor of Wrestling is Reddit. I can assure you that your beloved Allen Paisner will be returning in the future, however, he could not make tonight's show due to some…
Mann smirks.
Mann: Legal complications. But fear not, I’ll be taking his place in the booth tonight.
The crowd erupts with applause and cheers, eager to witness the rebirth of their beloved wrestling promotion, even without Paisner for the evening.
Mann: Tonight, we embark on an exhilarating journey, as WiR takes a bold leap forward. I stand before you not just as the owner, but as a “fan”—a fan who understands the passion and dedication that this community shares for the world of wrestling.
Mann tries to hide a grimace as he proclaims his “fandom”. The crowd anticipates Mann’s next move
Mann: For too long, WiR has been dormant, unable to proceed, some of the talent trapped in Europe with no way home. But this, is no more! Today, we resurrect the spirit of WiR, bringing it back to life with a bang! And what better way to open things up by “Sounding Off"! Presented by the one and only, Dexter Flux
The crowd gives an actual cheer with genuine enthusiasm at the mention of Flux, their sort of god-king.
Mann: "Sound Off" isn't just a name; it's a rallying cry! It's a call for all of you, the WiR faithful, to voice your opinions, to express your passion, and to join us in this incredible journey. This event will be a celebration of everything that makes WiR special—the wrestling, the community, and the shared experiences that bring us all together.
The press conference crowd, whose papering becomes increasingly obvious the more Mann talks, is enthusiastic, as they eagerly hang onto Shay D. Mann's every word, perhaps a little too eagerly.
Mann: Tonight, in this very ring, our talented roster will ignite your imagination, deliver jaw-dropping performances, and create moments that will be etched in your memories forever. Sound Off! will leave you on the edge of your seats, craving for more.
The crowd roars with the excitement of a hair dryer pop.
Mann: But this is not just a show; it's a community. Together, we'll embrace the highs and lows, the victories and defeats. We'll share our opinions, engage in spirited debates, and build something truly remarkable. WiR is your platform—your voice will be heard!
The crowd erupts once again, their cheers echoing through the arena, showcasing their dedication to WiR, or getting paid to be there
Mann: So, my friends, get ready to immerse yourselves in the magic of WiR once again. Open your hearts, open your minds, and let the exhilaration of "Sound Off" wash over you! Tonight, we begin a new era—one that will redefine the landscape of this sport. Welcome back to WiR, my friends. Because Wrestling… is Revived.
With a sly smile, Shay D. Mann raises his microphone high, signaling the start of the show, as things fade to a video of Dexter Flux. His face is slightly out of frame as the camera points to his chest and chin.
Crowd: YEEEEAAAHHHHHH WE LOVE FLUX! WE LOVE FLUX!
Flux: Hey, it’s me, Dexter Flux. Welcome, uh, welcome you know, back to wrestl- Ugh, sorry, something was like, in my throat. Wrestling is Reddit. Welcome back to Wrestling is Reddit. This is House Party.

Knott's Berry Farm, June 1st, 2023.

With that rousing introduction, we now cut back to the day of, with a drone shot of the ring set up at Knott’s Berry Farm, fans on makeshift stands in the berry field, a parking lot and farmhouse off in the far distance, before [off brand royalty free music] begins to play!
Crowd: YEEEAAHHHH
Through the makeshift curtain, Tony “The Milkman” Stevens appears, wearing a pair of off-blue tights with cow white print, a single blue elbow pad on the left side, with a pair of gloved hands- in which, he holds a pristine white umbrella. The Milkman points his umbrella right down the lens of the camera…
Milkman: Good to be back, fellas, and good to see you, Mr. Cameraman! Been a while.
Mann: And here comes the Milkman, and a huge ovation from this crowd! But no Horde jacket with him!
Woodbridge: Or any jacket. But we’re in Anaheim, its hot out
Mann You’re right. But he did prepare for rain.
The Milkman hands off his umbrella to a fan at ringside, before sliding under the bottom rope, and ascending the left hard camera turnbuckle, firing up the crowd, before doing a backflip off the top rope, and into the ring!
Crowd: YEEAAAAHHHHHH
The Camera cuts back to the entranceway, as the music changes, to Skillet
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO
Jericho Styles appears on the ramp, adorned in an Allen Iverson Nuggets Jersey. He blows off a fan’s high five attempt, before sliding into the ring and taking a position opposite of Stevens.
Babaganoush: WiR fans… welcome to Anaheim California, the beautiful Knotts Berry Farm! Welcome! To Sound Off! Presented by Dexter Flux.
Crowd: W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R!
Banaganoush: Our opening contest is scheduled for one fall to a finish. Introducing first, to my right… wrestling out San Jose California, weighing in at 217 pounds, Jericho… Styles!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Babaganoush: And his opponent, to my left. Weighing in at 208 pounds…
Crowd begins to rise
Babaganoush: Wrestling out of… Brooklyn, New York! Tony… “The Milkmaaannnnnnn” Stevens!
Crowd erupts into indiscriminate cheers
DING DING DING
The Milkman and Styles circle each other as the bell rings, before Styles takes the initiative with a lock up attempt, which he quickly transitions to a rear waist lock. Milkman thinks on his feet, and grabs the arm of Styles lifting it above his head, and turning to break the lock, before using it to get behind Jericho, who uses his size advantage to overpower Stevens and apply a hammerlock, using the position to turn Stevens around, and take him down to the mat with an arm drag, maintaining control of the arm, which he quickly leverages into a pinfall…
ONE
Milkman gets his free shoulder up!
Crowd: Yay!
Woodbridge: JZ leveraging some technical skill here in the opening moments of this one, but can’t keep the Milkman down!
Mann: Only one count for Styles
Styles refuses to relinquish his grip on the arm, and as Stevens gets up, pushes him back into the corner before he can balance himself. Styles whips Stevens across the ring to the other corner, before charging in and being met with Milkman’s knee! Stevens capitalizes on his newly made opening by delivering a sharp kick to the chest of Styles, before whipping him against the ropes. Styles charges back, and tries to use his momentum to catch Stevens with a hip toss, but can only get Stevens a few inches of height off the ground before the Milkman lands on his feet, lifts and Styles up for an atomic drop, which forces him to let go of Stevens. With his arm now free, The Milkman plants himself, and delivers a [devastating lariat]. With what self-preservation he has left, Styles rolls to the outside, and onto the grass.
Woodbridge: And The Milkman just leveled Styles with that lariat!
Mann: Not something we’re quite used to seeing from Stevens, some hard strikes early in this one that really seemed to throw Styles off his game.
Styles pulls himself up by the barricade, to the direct ire of front-row fans who continue to heckle him. Back in the ring, Stevens throws himself off the far-end ropes, charges in for a dive… before Styles ducks down to avoid being hit. Stevens doesn’t change speed, and instead, throws himself between the ropes for a 6-1-9 that hits nothing but air, launching himself back into the ring, and landing on his feet. After this feat of dexterity, and with Styles on the ground outside, The Milkman takes a bow for his efforts.
Crowd: YEEEAAHHH!!
Four dues in front of the hard cam: WE LOVE MILK! WE LOVE MILK!
At a count of eight, Styles, returns to the ring, and the two wrestlers square off again. Styles gets the better of the two on the lockup, delivering a stomp to Stevens’ foot, before kneeling him in the stomach. Styles lifts Stevens up for a suplex, but Stevens shifts his weight and lands on his feet behind him! The Milkman attempts a German suplex, but Styles throws a firm elbow to the jaw and repositions behind Stevens for a German attempt of his own. Stevens gives Styles a receipt with a firm, calcium-hardened elbow of his own, before bounding over to the ropes, and attempting a lionsault to a standing Styles! Styles catches him, but Stevens slips free, pushes Styles into the corner, and he takes a chest-first bump. Stevens harnesses his agility once more to get into poison-rana position on the shoulders of Styles, but Styles uses one arm to flip Milkman off balance and send him tumbling to the ground. Quickly, Stevens attempts to transition to a sunset flip but has to abandon ship as Styles tries to poke him in the eyes, jamming his finger into the canvas as a result. Stevens uses the moment to leap up to Bret’s rope, turn around, and deliver a dropkick to Styles! Stevens then rolls to the apron, and pumps up the crowd with a wave of his hand…
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHH WOOO!!
Guy already 4 cheap beers in: I hate this Styles guy!
…and delivers another springboard dropkick, this one from the top rope! Stevens flexes for the crowd, before rolling into a cover…
ONE
TWO
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Mann: Does The Milkman seem a bit different to you, Woodbridge?
Woodbridge: Milkman definitely wants to show off early, he looks like he hasn’t lost a step!
Mann: Maybe even gained one, and it almost feels like he’s being a bit disrespectful of his opponent, don’t you think?
Woodbridge: And what are you insinuating?
Mann: Well, maybe performing in front of a WiR crowd again has him a little more amped than usual! Trying a lot of those high-risk maneuvers early- we’re only a few minutes into this one, folks!
After the Kickout, Stevens signals to the cheering crowd, runs off the ropes, and attempts a wheelbarrow bulldog, but as he pushes himself up, Styles swivels his hips, and Stevens face plants into the mat.
Mann: And Stevens’ showing off cost him there!
Styles knees Stevens in the stomach, before putting his head between the legs, and sets up for the Styles Clash! He can’t lock in Milkman’s arms, and Stevens uses them to push off the mat to sit up above Jericho! Stevens tries throwing a punch at Jericho’s head, but he pivots his plan, and adjusts to deliver a powerbomb! As he releases, Stevens adjusts his body and manages to mitigate some of the damage by landing awkwardly on the back foot, stumbling back into the ropes.
Mann: If Styles hit that, it could have spelled an early end for Stevens!
Stevens pulls himself back to his feet using the ropes and charges back in with a clothesline attempt, but Styles sees it coming, grabs the arm and uses it to shift the momentum, and lifts Stevens for a tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Mann: And Styles seems to be in control here.
Woodbridge: Stevens took some early momentum, but Styles has had a counter for everything Stevens has thrown at him.
Styles pulls Stevens up to his feet by the hair, before casually flipping one of Stevens’ arms over his shoulder for a uranage position before holding his arms out to the crowd!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Styles smirks at the boos incoming, and throws Stevens with a t-bone suplex. Once Stevens is planted, Styles stomps the stomach to force him to sit up, before stretching the arms behind for a surfboard stretch!
Styles: I’m a technical wrestler now, assholes!
Mann: Styles slowing things down here, grounding the Milkman
Woodbridge: Not a bad strategy, we saw how The Milkman was in control with a faster pace!
One guy holding up a sign with Goku: WE-LOVE-GOKU! WE-LOVE-GOKU!
Everyone else in the crowd is deafeningly silent
Styles: AND WHAT WOULD GOKU DO HERE, STUPID IDIOT?
Styles breaks his hold and approaches the hard camera ropes to yell at the fan more
Styles: Dragon Ball is overrated trash!
Styles kicks Stevens back to the mat
Styles That one was for you, fucking weeb!
As Stevens once again rises to his feet, Styles punches him and he falls back to the mat, just for Styles to pick him back up, and line up against the ropes, for an irish whip. As Stevens returns to sender, Styles throws him straight up in the air… and football punts him in the chest on the way down!
Styles: Hey weeb guy! This one’s for you too! I saw a Japanese dude do it once!
Styles lifts Stevens up, sets him up with the arms behind the back… and delivers a slow, sloppy [tiger driver], before placing a single foot on the chest, and flexing
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Woodbridge: Well, he didn’t quite get all of it.
Styles takes time to put Stevens in a Camel Clutch.
Mann: And it seems Styles didn’t want to get left out of showing off!
Woodbridge: Well, he certainly nailed Milkman with that kick, but the Tiger Driver left a lot to be desired.
Mann: Styles seems to have control of this match when it’s slowed down, wearing Stevens with this technical wrestling prowess.
Woodbridge, reaching under the desk for a paper bag: Everyone wants to be a hero in front of the first crowd in two years
Styles releases Stevens from the hold by battering him in the back of the head with a forearm, picking him up by the scruff, and bouncing him off the ropes for an Irish whip and hitting him with the kitchen sink! But Stevens wastes no motion, and grabs the leg, turning Styles over for a rollup!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Kickout!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Woodbridge: He almost got him with that rollup! From out of nowhere!
The Milkman tries to capitalize, but Styles returns the favor with a boot to the stomach.
Styles: I’ll show you to make a damn fool out of me!
Styles hoists Stevens up for a vertical suplex, before taking two steps and chucking him across the top rope! The Milkman bounces off the top rope, makes a deflating noise as the air is forced out of his lungs, and flops down to the floor outside!
Mann: Styles with some kind of inverted lawn-dart maneuver! Woodbridge, do you know what that’s called?
Woodbridge: Nope.
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Styles: Come on, milk boy, you have anything else for me?
Stevens crawls back into the ring, holding onto his ribs, before Styles once again kicks him in the stomach, and applies a chin lock in the ring.
Mann: Styles has found his target! If Stevens can’t breathe, he can’t fight!
Woodbridge: The young Styles showing some veteran instinct here, Mann, if Stevens has the wind knocked out of him, he can’t perform those high-flying moves he was nailing Styles with earlier!
Styles turns to the side, and locks Milkman in a body scissors, using his legs to apply pressure to the ribcage. Stevens tries to use his free legs to push both men closer to the ropes, but can only move them a few feet. Stevens smacks the mat with his free hand, and a guy in the crowd does it to the barricade. Stevens smacks the mat again, and a few more fans join in.
Crowd Smacking the barricade
Stevens pushes towards the ropes again, making more progress. Styles sees this, and releases the hold, grabbing Stevens by the hair with one hand, tights in the other, and pulling him up to his feet.
Styles: You want the ropes so bad, here, have them!
Styles runs over to the ropes with the Milkman, and hurls him between the middle and top rope, dumping him to the outside where he lands with a noticeable thud. Styles follows him to the outside, taking his time to savor the boos of the crowd, before delivering a knee to a rising Milkman, and lifting him for a vertical suplex on the grass! Styles rolls into the ring… and back out again to break the count. Despite the present beating, Stevens once again pulls himself to his feet.
Crowd: YEAAAH
And Styles knees him in the ribs.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO
Styles rolls Stevens back into the ring before taking a moment to confront the drunk fan who jeered him earlier. After his verbal exchange, Styles delivers a scoop slam to Stevens to keep him down, and the pressure on the body, before sliding into a cover.
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Mann: Forcing Stevens to exert more energy there on the kick out, after continuing his assault on the ribs. A very solid strategy by Styles in this one.
Styles picks The Milkman up once more and prepares another vertical suplex, but the Milkman slips free! Stevens lands behind Styles, hooks his arms, and goes for a crucifix pin!
ONE
TWO
THRE-
Styles barely escapes! The Milkman wastes no motion as Styles rises back to his feet, bouncing off the hard camera ropes, and forcing Styles to drop back to the mat to avoid a strike. Stevens bounces off the opposite end, and Styles barely avoids him once more, this time with a slide-step that sees him almost lose his balance. Styles tries to save his momentum by charging at Stevens as he bounces off the ropes a third time, but Stevens pulls down the top rope, sending Styles to the apron! Stevens kicks Styles in the knee, before going through the middle rope to meet Styles on the apron. Styles tries to sweep out the leg of the Milkman, knocking himself down to one knee on the attempt, but Stevens jumps over it, and catches Styles with a Calcium Kiss Superkick that sends Styles to the grass below!
Crowd: YEAAAHH
With his foe grounded, Stevens looks to the crowd, positions himself in the middle of the ring, and before Styles can discover where he is, Stevens takes flight, springboarding off the middle rope with an Asai Milksault! On the landing, Stevens’ left knee awkwardly hits the uneven yard, and he visibly grimaces before falling backward.
Mann: And both men are down after that! Stevens with a ferocious comeback attempt, but he may have hurt himself!
Woodbridge: Someone hasn’t been taking care of their lawn.
Stevens hears the air exit the crowd, and pulls himself up, giving them a reassuring thumbs up, before using the leg he landed on to kick Styles in the back of his knee, before throwing him back into the ring. Stevens puts one leg into the ring through the middle rope, before looking into the crowd- and deciding to ascend the turnbuckles instead! The Milkman leaps, and delivers a diving hurricanrana! As Styles tries to roll to the ropes, Stevens uses their good leg to stomp on his chest, before pulling him back to the middle of the ring, and hitting a Standing Milksault! Stevens maintains the cover!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Woodbridge: And Stevens throwing everything into this assault on Styles, but it still wasn’t enough to put him down!
Crowd: Let’s Go Milk-man! Let’s Go Milk-man!
Stevens picks Styles up, and lifts him onto his shoulders…
Woodbridge: He’s going for the Milky Way!
…But the injured knee can’t hold up the weight, and both men crash to the mat.
Entrance Music begins to play as a small, skinny wrestler in a leather jacket waltzes towards the two downed competitors
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And that’s Raven Van Loupe! Van Loupe is here at Sound Off!
Woodbridge: These two formed an alliance last time we saw them! But will it hold after the time off?
Van Loupe enters the ring, despite the protests of WiR official Tai Ni Wong, and glances at the pair as both try to pull themselves up, Stevens using the ropes, Styles on his own. Van Loupe looks back and forth… before kicking Stevens in the injured knee!
DING DING DING
Babaganoush: And here is your winner…
Van Loupe helps Styles to his feet, and the pair begin to lay the boots on Stevens.
Babaganoush: By disqualification as a result of interference, and striking a WiR official…
Styles takes the knee of the downed Milkman, and lifts it above his head, before thrashing it against the canvas.
Babaganoush: At a time of…
Van Loupe has Styles lift Stevens by the hair once more, before she runs to the ropes, jumps off the second rope, and Styles pushes The Milkman into the cutter.
Babaganoush: Ten minutes and twenty-three seconds…
Styles and Van Loupe stand over Stevens, and Styles prepares to deliver the finishing blow as he signals to the crowd that he is looking for the Styles Clash!
Banaganoush: Tony “The Milkmannnnnn” Stevens!!!!!!
Van Loupe: Are you done?
Van Loupe gives Styles a thumbs up, but as he goes to finish off Stevens, a mighty howl plays over the speakers as a short, scruffy man runs to the ring.
Woodbridge: That’s The Werewolf!
Mann Johnny, A Werewolf, is here! And he’s rushing to the ring!
Styles lets Stevens flop back down to the mat, holding his knee, and turns to face the incoming Werewolf as he slides under the ropes and into the ring. Styles steps before Vna Loupe to intercept, but the fresh Werewolf knocks him off his feet with The Pounce. The Werewolf comes face to face with Van Loupe in the center of the ring!
Crowd: AWOOOOOO
Mann: Pandemonium has broken out in the first match of Sound Off! And the fans are loving it!
Crowd: WE LOVE WERE-WOLF! clap clap clap clap clap WE LOVE WERE-WOLF!
Woodbridge: The Pack Wolf and the Werewolf facing off in the center of the ring!
Mann: And these two have unfinished business! The Lifeblood exists because they took issue with being left behind for signings like Werewolf!
Johnny feints left, before throwing a right jab! The Werewolf unleashes Pack Tactics on Van Loupe! As he stops throwing punches, and signals for another pounce, Styles kips up, and levels the werewolf with a lariat!
Crowd: BOOOOO
Van Loupe and Styles begin to wear down the Werewolf, delivering blow after blow to Johnny as the boos rain from the crowd. Van Loupe delivers a stomp to the knee of The Milkman to keep him down before they and Jericho set up to finish off styles…
When an Italian Flag appears on the video screen, and an absolute guido of an Italian-American, hair dripping with greaseslowly walks out from behind the curtain, wearing a Shohei Ohtani jersey!
…A Shohei Ohtani… New York Mets jersey.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: That’s The Apex! Arturo Stiglione! Stiglione is in the yard!
Stiglione slowly scopes out the scene on his way to the ring, seeing the downed Milkman on the left of the ring, the downed werewolf on the right, and the standing Lifeblood members in the middle. He slowly ascends the stairs and stands across from Van Loupe and Styles.
Wodbridge: And The Apex, not a fan of Johnny, a very terse relationship between these two.
Apex: Hell ova job ya done hea’
Van Loupe: If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stand aside, and maybe we won’t hurt you.
Apex: Dont’cha mind me, just monitoring the situation.
Styles pulls Van Loupe aside, and the two have an impromptu conference, before nodding along, and continuing their attack on Werewolf.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
With The Lifeblood’s backs turned Styles looks down at his fist. He looks down at the blue and orange he’s adorned in, and loosens up his arm. He points to the back of Styles, who senses the crowd rising, and turns around… to be met with a spinning backfist!!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Mann: Styles has made his choice! And he chooses to stand against The Lifeblood!
Van Loupe hears his body hit the canvas, and turns around, to be met with the sight of a downed Styles! The Apex takes off his Mets jersey… to reveal an Angels jersey! The Werewolf is back on his feet, and he and the Apex come face to face! Van Loupe rises back up at the wrong time, as the two share a nod, and deliver a double clothesline! Seeing the situation turn against him, Styles slinks to the outside, and grabs a chair from under the ring, before sneaking back in behind the Werewolf and Apex, who have turned to the hard camera. Styles raises the chair to strike…
...And gets blasted by a Calcium Kiss from The Milkman!
Crowd: WOOOOOO
The three faces are all back on their feet in the middle of the ring, standing tall! As the three begin to celebrate…
“It’s a Psychobilly Freakout!
Mann: That’s the music of Mason Saunders! But where is he?
Saunders’ music plays, but the entranceway remains empty.
Woodbridge: He’s behind us, Mann! He just jumped the barricade!
Mann: But he’s outnumbered, Woodbridge, both his allies are down!
Undeterred by the numbers disadvantage, Saunders slides behind the faces, and as they recognize the trap, Saunders is already in the ring! The Werewolf approaches first and throws a jab that almost seems to bounce off the chin of Saunders. Saunders simply stares, and when the Werewolf tries a second one, Saunders swipes it aside with a tree trunk arm, before launching into action and dropping the Werewolf with a right hook, which catches the Werewolf cleanly on the jaw, who slumps backward onto the canvas. The Milkman tries to charge to his aid, but Saunders delivers a pump kick to put him back on the canvas. The Apex tries to make a move while Saunders’ back is turned facing Stevens, but he fails to do any damage and is swiftly thrown aside. Saunders drops the Milkman again, before turning around to face Apex… who turns around, and flees the ring as fast as possible!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And Stiglione, getting out of dodge as soon as he can!
Woodbridge: And turning tail and running, Stiglione is out of here!
As Stiglione flees up the entranceway, the rest of the Lifeblood begins to pick themselves up. Saunders puts the Werewolf pack down on the canvas with a scoop powerslam, and boots him out of the ring. The Lifeblood stand united, and face the hard camera, Stiglione and Werewolf removed, and the Milkman down on the opposite end of the ring. JZ ascends to the second rope of the left turnbuckle, Van Loupe to the right, and the three all pose for the hard camera!
Mann: And the Lifeblood, although not victorious in the match, is victorious here in the aftermath!
Woodbridge: But wait, The Milkman is trying to get back up!
Mann: Stevens of course, left for the picking, as other members of The Horde are all the way on the other side of the Farm preparing for their match later!
Stevens struggles to pull himself up to his feet, knee buckling under him. Saunders perks up, and stops his pose. Stevens staggers to his feet, and before he can get very far, Saunders turns, and with blinding speed nails Stevens with a disgusting lariat that nearly takes his head off!
Woodbridge: And the Milk has gone spoiled.
The Lifeblood circle the downed Milkman like vultures, and Van Loupe drops to one knee, and picks up the Milkman’s head by the hair! JZ gets down as well, and the two strike a pose, with Milkman’s body as the centerpiece!
Mann: A statement made, by the Lifeblood
Woodbridge: To me, Mann, it looks like the statement was made by Saunders, Van Loupe, and JZ just picked up the scraps!
Van Loupe, holding up Milkman to the Camera victoriously: Take a look, WiR, this is the future! We are the Lifeblood of this company, and don’t forget that!
The camera pans out to JZ and Van Loupe celebrating over Milkman’s body, while Saunders stares from behind, before fading out to a commercial break.
Javier: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, with a 20 minute time limit. Your referee for this contest is Mia So Hung. Introducing first, from Montreal, Canada, weighing in at 119 pounds...... GIGI♥ V!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A significantly smaller but incredibly loud section of the crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Music begins to swell in the background, and the crowd continues their jeering (and occasional unbridled simping) until Gigi steps out, running her hands down her body to the lewd Ashnikko verse.
Mann: Gigi here, surrounded by her legion of fans, who are then surrounded by a legion of people who absolutely despise her. As it should be here in WiR.
Gigi saunters to the ring, taking vaguely suggestive selfies with her ravenous fans on the front row, and generally seeming uncaring about the forthcoming match.
Woodbridge: And given her successes recently, it’s gonna be easy to overlook a competitor like Li Xiao, which very easily could prove fatal.
Gigi steps into the ring, as Javier starts his announcing again.
Javier: And her opponent, from Hong Kong, weighing in at 105 pounds... LI XIAO!!!
A unfamiliar metal song blasts out from the speakers, and a rather familiar hyperactive martial artist bounces out from behind the curtain!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Xiao charges down the ramp with a head of steam, hyped and ready to fight.
Mann: Xiao has some of the most devastating offense in this company, and if she’s able to keep momentum, it could very well shatter Gigi’s plans of making a statement here!
Woodbridge: Yeah, sure, but Xiao’s a tag team specialist first and foremost. She comes in to deal damage and then gets out before she takes too much abuse.
Xiao hops into the ring, and the referee pats both competitors down, before gesturing for the bell.
DING DING DING
In an interesting turn of events, Gigi and Li Xiao start off with a collar-and-elbow tie up in the center of the ring. Gigi takes quick advantage of her height and weight advantage to gain leverage and force Li Xiao backwards into the ropes.
Mann: Gigi starting off with the basics here, knowing Li Xiao is nothing if not an incredibly explosive fighter.
Woodbridge: That’s right, Xiao wrestles like my grandpa used to make moonshine, god rest his soul!
Gigi sets herself, and when Xiao tries to push off the ropes and get Gigi off, Gigi directs the momentum into a modified biel, throwing Li Xiao across the ring! Gigi takes a moment to smirk and pose for the fans - a mistake, as Xiao rolls through the throw and hits the ropes on the opposite side of the ring!
Mann: Incredible strength from Gigi!
Gigi turns around into a sprinting palm strike from Xiao, staggering backwards into the ropes yet again, and Xiao follows up with a big kick to the gut! Gigi’s doubled over, and Xiao drops her with a DDT!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s fired up, and she’s quite possibly looking to end this match before it even gets started!
Xiao with the cover!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out right at 2, and rolls up, obviously shocked and dazed. The crowd in attendance is split, with the wrestling fans excited to see Gigi on the ropes, and the Gigi fans absolutely in shambles. Xiao is up quickly, as Gigi staggers to her feet - Xiao hits the ropes, springboards, and catches Gigi with a beautiful headscissors!
Crowd: WOOOOOO!
Gigi rolls through, runs the ropes, and comes back with a head of steam! Xiao dodges a clothesline attempt, shoves Gigi to the other rope, and gets ready for the comeback - Gigi catches the ropes! Xiao charges in to press the advantage, and eats an officially branded Gigi♥ boot to the face! Xiao is absolutely rocked, staggering backwards, and this time Gigi takes the initiative and absolutely levels Xiao with a clothesline! Xiao spirals to the mat, and Gigi blows a kiss to the fans in attendance!
Gigi: I am your future champion, and this is the match I’m booked in?
Gigi catches Xiao with a boot to the back of the head! Xiao rolls over, and Gigi drops a knee onto her throat, before going for the cover!
1!
2!
Xiao muscles out of the pin, clutching her head!
Woodbridge: We got two high fliers here, these women make a livin’ out of dodging attacks. Anything that lands here is going to be devastating!
Mann: And right now, it looks like Xiao is barely conscious after those blows to the head!
Gigi gets up, and winks at her fans in attendance and watching live throughout the world.
Crowd: BOOOOOO!/YAAAAAAAAAAY!
Gigi saunters over to Xiao, and plays up the boot she’s about to give - SMALL PACKAGE! SMALL PACKAGE!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out, and her mood instantly changes. Xiao is staggering to her feet, and takes a full on slap to the face!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH!
Mann: What a slap from Gigi, obviously assisted by her official Gigi♥ gloves, sponsored by Fairtex!
Woodbridge: Gigi’s pissed now, and you could hear that slap all the way in Los Angeles!
Xiao clutches her face, and Gigi follows up with a huge kick to the gut! Xiao falls to one knee, and Gigi finishes the trifecta with a roundhouse to the head!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao collapses to the mat!
Mann: And Xiao’s down! What a kick!
Woodbridge: That kick nearly took her head off, Shay! I don’t know if she’s even conscious down there!
Gigi’s prepared, and is looking to finish this, climbing to the top rope! Xiao is flat on her back on the mat, and Gigi takes the leap, flipping forwards with a swanton! Xiao is still conscious, though, and rolls away in the nick of time, leaving Gigi high and dry!
Crowd: YAAAAAAY! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO!
Mann: I... feel like that’s problematic, somehow.
Woodbridge: Nah, ‘sfine, don’t worry about it.
Xiao grabs for the ropes, pulling herself to her feet, but is obviously still dazed from the kick!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s hurt!
Mann: You see this a lot in Li Xiao singles matches - she’s got an incredible offense, but she’s fragile at best in-ring!
Gigi is holding her back, and glares at Xiao in frustration!
Gigi: You were supposed to stay down! it was going on Tiktok!
Gigi charges forward, ready to avenge her mistake, but takes a knee to the gut! Gigi staggers for a second, only to get a chop to the neck! She’s reeling! Xiao with a forearm! Xiao with a elbow strike!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao takes a step backwards, and lets out a KIAI, before charging forward with a roundhouse - NO! SCHOOLBOY FROM GIGI!
1!
2!
Xiao kicks out at 2.6, rolls to her feet, and is immediately back on the offensive, catching Gigi with a kick to the gut!
Mann: Xiao was going for her trademark flurry of blows, and that roundhouse could very well have ended this match!
Woodbridge: Sure, but it doesn’t look like Gigi’s in a better spot right now anyway!
Xiao measures, as Gigi slowly gets back to her feet, and steps through the ropes, stalking her opponent! Gigi’s up, and Xiao leaps onto the ropes, going for a springboard - GIGI HOOKS HER LEG!
Crowd: BOOOOO!
Xiao loses her footing, and falls neck-first onto the ropes, before collapsing to the outside of the ring!
Mann: Gigi with a lightning-quick reversal!
Woodbridge: Xiao might be seriously hurt down there!
Gigi regains some of her confidence, and gives the crowd an innocent smile, completely ignoring the competitor she might have seriously injured. As the count reaches six, Gigi finally springs into action, rolling out of the ring, and grabbing Xiao by the hair!
Gigi: That’s what you get for ruining my moment!
Gigi pulls Xiao up to her feet, and throws her into the ring. Gigi rolls in as Xiao fights to one knee, then to her feet! Gigi smirks, and stands in front of Xiao, posing for the crowd -
WHAM!
Xiao with a JKD backfist!
Woodbridge: River City Knockout! That’s Biff’s move! What a moment to strike!
Gigi is staggered - falls to one knee - then gets back up, just in time to eat THE CRANE KICK
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Woodbridge: CRANE KICK! CRANE KICK!
Gigi is down! Xiao is staggering after landing the crane kick, and collapses to a knee herself! Xiao takes a moment to collect herself, then throws herself into the cover, hooking both legs!
1!
2!
3!
NO!
Mia hits the three count, and Xiao rolls off, sure she’s won the match, but Gigi’s right hand is on the ropes!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mia explains to Xiao, who is obviously frustrated, but nods. She takes a moment to kick Gigi’s wrist, knocking her hand off the ropes, before climbing to the top rope! Xiao steels herself - leaps - corkscrews through the air!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s Wing!
Gigi gets her knees up! Xiao lands back-first onto Gigi’s knees! Xiao bounces halfway across the ring, clutching her back and neck, and lands on her chest!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mann: And Gigi has just enough in the tank to get that counter in!
Gigi, with what seems like massive effort, rolls over, before crawling towards Xiao, who seems to be completely out of it. She crawls over Xiao, with a knowing smirk, before hooking her legs around Xiao’s head!
Mann: Gigi looking for the Paywall, this modified figure four choke!
Woodbridge: And half the audience is looking at something else right now.
Gigi torques Xiao’s already injured neck back, cutting off all airflow! Xiao struggles for a moment, but is trapped in the center of the ring! She crawls forward, but Gigi leans back, torquing her neck even further! Xiao swings back with an elbow, then another, but her arm is caught by Gigi’s free hand! After a moment of struggling, Xiao finally relents, and taps in the center of the ring!
DING DING DING!
Javier: And your winner, at a time of 7:53.... GIGI!
Gigi rolls out of the ring, obviously the worse for wear, clutching her neck after the crane kick to the skull!
Mann: And Gigi with a hard-fought win after these two threw everything at each other in a absolutely brutal short match!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s not a singles competitor on her own, but she showed just how brutal her brand of offense is when it needs to be - if Biff has the same resilience he used to have the tag division might need to be on notice!

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