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The recent revelations about MMY

2023.06.06 13:54 beachutman The recent revelations about MMY

I am just an ‘ordinary’ mediator.
I am upset to see all these revelations about MMY in the facebook groups.
For me, TM basically saved my life. I was in a bad place, and TM bought me release from nearly all my problems, and gave me a calmer more settled control of my life. I have experienced untold benefits, far too many to list.
And I am in touch with a deep inner peace and silence, a sense of a real universal eternity existing outside of my individual life, something that I had never encountered before TM.
I am very happy with the basic TM technique, and will do it for the rest of my life, although I have no interest whatsoever in the siddhis or advanced techniques. I don’t need them.
It saddens me that MMY, who I so looked up to, is now perhaps not the man we thought.
But… ultimately it doesn’t matter to me. Transcendental meditation works and it is real. I am beyond grateful for it.
MMY made other mistakes as well, for instance withdrawing teaching from the UK during the Iraq war, because he was disgusted by Tony Blair. I get that but why punish the man in the street who might wish to learn TM? Why not also do the same in the USA who led the war anyway?
And aside from MMY I am horrified by the pictures I have seen of the upper echelons of the TMO. Who sit around in silk robes and golden crowns!! It looks exactly like the Pope surrounded by all his minions at the vatican. Just so very wrong! I want nothing to do with the TMO.
So…. both MMY and the TMO were and are flawed, but the process of basic transcendental meditation is a real tangible and beautiful thing.
Let’s all never lose sight of that!
submitted by beachutman to transcendental [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:53 isaac_greer1 Running Badddd

Running Badddd
Hi, just looking for people's advice on how to deal with running bad. I play micro stakes on GG, and currently sitting about 20 buy ins or so below the All in EV line in 25k hands. Basically I just feel I am losing in so many frustrating spots, and as a result tilt and play no where near my best (which I think is definitely good enough to beat the game)
It's starting to really get to me to be honest and not sure what to do. Should I take a break from it? Quit a session as soon as I have a couple bad beats and start playing no where near my best? Or just battle through it and accept this is part of the game?
I'm relatively new to poker (about 1 year) so not sure how bad I'm running really, and if this is just normal and I'm overreacting? Anyway hopefully you can understand what I'm trying to say, any advice on dealing with it or info would be appreciated.
Cheers
submitted by isaac_greer1 to poker [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:53 poopslob Lost cat in Milwaukie near SE Jackson & 44th! Charlie’s a 12 year old grey and white neutered male, he went outside early 6/3 and hasn’t returned. Please let me know if you see him. Thanks everyone!

submitted by poopslob to Milwaukie [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:49 Mofoman3019 AITA for not letting my sort of partner use my house when i'm away?

Really 'brief' back story - 4 years ago i met a girl, we got pregnant very quickly not by choice, she moved in to my house which i owned with my Brother at the time, he moved out (really fucked our relationship up which is now a lot better), we sold the house, i rented a house for me, the kids and my partner and then my partner had a pretty bad time, started drinking, we argued loads which was awful for the kids. She is a bad drunk and breaks shit. I ended it for my own mental well being and to stabilise the household for the kids, which she took poorly, but did my best to continue to support her emotionally (we're in each others lives for better or worse so I'd rather do it as genuine friends at a minimum) etc. and we have been Co-parenting semi-effectively since, and have been kind of 'on and off'. We have worked a lot on communication and have been 'on' in a non-labelled kind of way for the past few months.
I'm going to see a band in a few weeks which has been planned for nearly 8 months. It had been arranged that she would look after the kids that night as i have them 50% of the time. She asked a couple of weeks ago if i could arrange with my parents to look after the kids instead as she wanted to go out with a friend. Sure, no problem.
I get a phone call and she says 'You are away on this weekend, can me and my friend stay at your house when you aren't there'.
I said i wasn't comfortable with that but i'd consider it and we could discuss it later, and she pushed for a reason so I explained that i don't know her friend, it's my home and I'm protective of my space and because of previous experiences with her being a destructive drunk and being disrespectful to my home in the past.
She cut the call short and then i didn't hear from her until the next evening. She was upset that i hadn't followed up with her 'because i knew that I'd hurt her feelings', and she was upset that I didn't trust her and thought she was disrespectful, it was a problem for our relationship and she was questioning us being 'together' and thought I was being an asshole.
We spoke and i did my best to articulate my thoughts, and that i didn't think she was a disrespectful person 99% of the time but it was the 1% that made me uncomfortable. Which made things worse.
I don't feel like an asshole but AITA?
submitted by Mofoman3019 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:48 SquareTill8527 Can-am Maverick Sport Max Rear Leg Room

Anybody out there with a Maverick Sport Max that can comment on rear leg room. None of the dealers near me have one in stock to try out. Haven’t found a video online that really shows it well either. I appreciate any help on this one.
submitted by SquareTill8527 to UTV [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:48 game_phoenix00 PG hostels in guindy

Hey all ! Im coming to chennai next week, it was extremely difficult to find a pg in guindy below 10k and there were also lock in period and charges for moving out within a span of 3 months.when surfed online i can only find 6 PGs in magic brics which too dosent have necessary facility. Zolo and stanza living has lots of post charges and its dragging my rent to nearly 15k. Can anyone in Guindy suggest me any idea to get a PG ...All the replies are appreciated
P.S - Im 21m lived all my life in coimbatore and visited chennai 2 or 3 times before that too before 5 years or so.
Denkss✨
submitted by game_phoenix00 to Chennai [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:48 tumid Shadow Kingdom - a musical offering?

With all the talk of Shadow Kingdom being Bob's final output, I think it's ridiculous.
It's a great album, magnificent reworking of some of his classics, but nowhere near his best works, as much as I love listening to it on repeat. One thing did strike me. As Watching the River Flow turned into It's All Over Now Baby Blue, I felt an odd long-forgotten sensation. It was only after few moments I realised, I feel like I'm in a church.
I am not religious, but was raised Catholic. And the transition between the two songs did feel like the part of Christian mass that I believe in English is called The Dismissal. It is where the priest gives the congregation the final blessing and imposses them to go and spread the word of god. From my experience, It often has this aura of suspension. You know the service is almost over, but you ought to stay for a couple of moments more. Intentionally, or more likely not, Shadow Kingdom arrangement of It's All Over Now.. has a very similiar feel. And the subject of saying goodbye only adds to it.
Listening to Sierra's Theme I cannot help but to feel as I am leaving a church after a service.
A very odd feeling for a person who has not attended a religious service for decades now.
submitted by tumid to bobdylan [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:45 NewtExisting6715 Do I need root canal?

Do I need root canal?
This photo was few years ago. I had a check up with my dentist, and had an x-ray and he told me that based on the x-ray, it seems that I don't need a root canal. He just gave me a prescription of anti biotics.
After a year, it hurts again and the swelling is on different location but near the previous.
It was pandemic so I only had my check up with our company physician, and he gave me anti biotics. Swelling and pain was gone again.
But I have a feeling that, the pain will comeback again soon. Because sometimes I feel numbness and pulse in the area.
Do I need root canal? I just recently had a check up with a general dentist saying she is not sure whether if needed it or not. She doesn't see anything on xray(one that they use to see if root canal is needed).
I don't know what to do😅
P.S. sorry for my english.
submitted by NewtExisting6715 to askdentists [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:45 OutsideCurious2777 How to improve without stressing so much?

So I am a huge narcissist and have been trying to change for a few months now... but I am extremely stressed now. I haven't known a single moment of peace, or a single moment of being comfortable in who I am or what I'm feeling. For nearly half a year. I literally cannot trust myself anymore because I don't know if my feelings are misplaced or not. Anytime I get angry I have to stop and analyze the feeling, like "is this narcissistic rage? or does it actually make sense for me to get mad?"
I don't want to develop any other problems from this stress, so... is there a way to improve myself, without stressing myself out?
submitted by OutsideCurious2777 to selfimprovement [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:45 terminaotaku My current crush (26m) wants to meet as friends with me (25m) only as friends

Hello! I could really use some dating advice with my current dilemma.
So theres this guy I’ve been talking to for a little over a year now (consistently) and I really like him. Like, more than anyone I’ve ever spoken too—I’m willing to do much of anything to make him happy. Its established we both have feelings for each other, and we already met back in October for a day date due to circumstances being able to bring us together in the same state.
Last month I told him I’d like to come visit him in DC since he just finished getting his masters and I’d recently gotten a better paying job making travel expenses easier to manage. Problem is, when we were discussing plans he told me he isn’t looking for a relationship and would want to meet up only as friends and nothing more.
It stung to hear him say that, I’ve confronted him a few times asking what he thinks of me/what he sees for our future and he’s told me I’m “relationship material” and an “absolute catch” but I know for a fact he talks and meets up with other men bc he’s very sought out after in our online community.
So I told him this past weekend I don’t feel comfortable going all the way to DC (5 states away from where I’m from) to see him if we’re going to be just friends bc I wouldn’t be doing all that for just a friend... I’d be doing it bc I like him more than that.
So my question is, am I overthinking things? Should I just take this opportunity to meet him since he may go back to his home state (even FURTHER away from me) in the near future? Or is he in the wrong for expecting me to be okay with paying all the fares for travel fees just to see him, a friend, when I have more than enough friends where I’m from?
submitted by terminaotaku to LongDistance [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:43 MarsMan2033 A Former High-Level U.S. Intelligence Officer Goes Public With Information About Unexplained Aerial Phenomenon And Aliens From Other Planets

Are we alone in the universe? Is life unique to earth or does it exist elsewhere in the universe? This question has haunted me for 70 years. In the 1950s I was mesmerized by movies like "War of the Worlds," Earth vs the Flying Saucers," Invasion of the Body Snatchers." "The Mysterians," etc. As a young man, I had no doubt that aliens had visited our world.
My interest in this subject has not declined over the decades. I have been a great supporter of The SETI Institute (Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence) and Dr. Seth Shostak for 15 years.
The news network News Nation broke an incredible story yesterday. A former US Air Force officer and intelligence agency operative with the highest security clearances went public yesterday. He claimed that the US government knew of visits by UFOs or UAPs for decades. He claimed that his former employer had alien spacecraft hidden. He claimed that the bodies of alien spacecraft crew members were stored at secret locations. For those of you curious, here are two links to look at:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSj7QsHRxHQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTA_lq4A1cM
We have been hearing these stories since an unexplained object crashed near Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. What is so new about this story? It is the bonafide credentials of the person now making the allegations. Do I believe what this man is saying?
As the old saying goes: "The jury is still out." However, another saying comes into play: "Where there is this much smoke there has to be some fire."
The distances between solar systems and star systems are beyond comprehension in the normal sense. The nearest star system to our world is Proxima Centauri. A spacecraft would have to fly at the speed of light for over 4.22 years to reach this celestial body. It would take us 73,000 years to travel this distance with the current chemical rockets that we explore space with.
It would take a society or civilization with incredibly advanced technology to produce a spacecraft capable of attaining the speed of light. An actual journey at that speed would require a long time for the spacecraft to reach the speed of light. It would take a long time for the spacecraft to slow down as it neared a target solar system or planet. I doubt that we would see a scenario like Star Trek with large star ships full of human occupants. I see a craft with Artificial Intelligence that we could not imagine. Any scout ship deployed from this vessel would have the most advanced Artificial Intelligence.
Would there be biological beings on board? I am going to say perhaps. A television show ran for one season in 2005. It was called "Threshold." The aliens did not come as little gray beings with big eyes and high foreheads. They did not come as hideous-looking monsters. They came as DNA molecules that entered human hosts and took over their being. It would be easy to keep DNA frozen for decades or centuries.
At the end of the process, I believe that the US government does have some ultra-advanced technology aircraft. Most are from countries like Russia and China. It is not impossible to imagine that in this group of high technology platforms, there is one spacecraft that came to us from light years away. More will be revealed.
submitted by MarsMan2033 to u/MarsMan2033 [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:40 tatopie SPF rec for those with sensory sensitivities: Hamilton Everyday Face

Hello!
As someone who has some sensory sensitivities (in addition to very fussy skin), finding an SPF I can wear everyday has been a challenge, so I thought I'd share here in case it helps anyone else :)
Hamilton Everyday Face is amazing: - No scent at all once dried down. Slight scent on application, but not bad at all and isn't like that normal SPF smell - Not greasy at all - Nice texture when applying - Doesn't leave any scent on your clothes
Note: I prefer the 200g as this comes with a pump. I swear this makes the texture feel different for some reason? It is also much cleaner and you don't get the congealed bits like with the 75g squeeze tube.
I also use this on my arms because I can't stand having strong scents on there either, and it works well. At $22 for 200g, it's not as cheap as a body sunscreen, but definitely not too exxy either.
FYI, the Hamilton Sensitive sunscreen is absolutely nothing like this. It's a standard body sunscreen, SPF smell very much included. I use this for my legs, because I don't notice it there, and it's more economical, but definitely can't use it near my face/arms.
Let me know if you have any questions :)
submitted by tatopie to AusSkincare [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:39 AnantiosGiverOfLife Physical photos... - what to do?

Hi everyone. My everlasting decluttering journey has now led me to boxes of physical photos and I don't know what to do with them. It seems wrong to throw them away but equally, we have digital copies of nearly all of them (no intention of getting rid of the ones pre digital age). How did any of you get over this emotional and to, huge, hurdle? I had a blip with online storage which wiped my photos of my eldest's first 3 years. Tia x
submitted by AnantiosGiverOfLife to declutter [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:39 Jejking Sick of especially my dad ruining himself

First part: https://www.reddit.com/mentalhealth/comments/131nqzt/things_escalated_and_im_at_the_end_of_my_rope/
Context: some weeks ago I finally accepted the help of my father in my home, which is not ready with furnishing, the floor, basically. It was an ambitious project, first he let it go, then he saw I struggled, because I want to be rightfully a grownup, while struggling and trying to get my whole life on track. He offered his help again, and immediately proceeds to go all-in (he gives me choices, but this topic dominates his life quite clearly).
In the meantime, I tried to set up a schedule when he can come to help. This consists of him saying now it needs to be finished, in a depressed tone. I SERIOUSLY dislike that attitude, I want to make something nice of it. A whole different ballgame. The second part is: come here, you get a nice coffee, 2 if you want, then we go to work. Basically 3/4 of all the meets ends up (before the job at hand) talking about family, his struggles, developments (but backwards) in that. His struggles are physically and mentally. Latest news: I connected some dots, and some aunts (who barely see him) suggested he should check himself out for diabetes. Well, out of 10 symptoms he has quite clear issues with at least 7 of them. I don't feel like a good son and human being if I ignore the elephant in the room.
Yesterday I read a list (hey, can I ask you something, this and this, no diabetes introduction). He recognized and admitted to that amount. Then, what do you say then? Well, I had to address the elephant in the room. INSTANT LASH OUT and defensiveness. He literally put me in the same bracket as my aunts (scattered family) who was putting things on him, deciding things for him. Typical trauma talk, I felt.
He had an explanation for everything, called me 'not a doctor', and his experience with diabetes in the 70s (he took care of mentally handicapped people, like washing etc) + lists on the internet told him he didn't have it. 'You have a dry skin, so you have diabetes?' Come on, bullshit reasoning. He literally called me an headstrong something-something, dufus basically. I literally forgot the second word. At that point I was on the virge of walking out.
He was going to forbid me to talk about it, he wants to be left alone, he wants to just ride in his oldtimer. There is nothing else in his life, except stories whn things go bad and that car brakes down. No backup plan, nothing, just survive. The arguments 'this gives clarity, some list doesn't say anything about bloodwork, then life goes on and you can keep doing what you do, likely a bit better', 'Do you really feel I am here passionately bringing up these subjects?', 'if this is what I have a suspicion is it can be, it literally can make your life better quite easily'. It all changed nothing.
His way is: first things need to go off his plate, THEN he can start thinking about this. He has been stressed out and 'handling' the situation for years, and when I took him out literally one part of his tooth broke off when eating. Absolute insane. He blamed me for him nearly having the energy to call one good aunt, and 'us people' wrecking that and taking it away from him, while sobbing and crying. Then he basically blamed me and others for pushing this shit (not fixing my house, while I have my own problems to deal with, not always that happy, career is quite poor, etc) in his lap, forcing him to come up with solutions. Shortly after he adjusted that statement that he thought I was not doing that willingly, and him not falling for any tricks to be used. Made it slightly better, but his go-to answers still are scary and sickening shit to me, what the fuck.
I am SO angry that I get instantly placed into 'that' category because I bring up this subject, making me look like the bad guy. My parents individually are darlings, mom more so than he is, but they so sooooo lack in the actual department to see what they need, and do everything to not get it. I'm on the edge of calling that network contact off to place my floor. Because is this really worth it? It's the wrecking ball I don't want it to be, but I more and more feel like I don't have a choice anymore, if this is the only thing there is with a connection with my parents.
submitted by Jejking to mentalhealth [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:38 rainyafternoons_ Is being in your 30s meant to feel this lonely? Or am I just bad at life?

I’m in my early 30s and recently nearly lost a parent. It made me think that aside from my husband and parent I don’t really have anyone else that truly cares for me.
When I was in my 20s I’d go to shows and social events regularly in the city with a small group of people like me. Last year my close friend died suddenly and with it, my feeling of friends who ‘get me’. Now I live in a suburb out of the city and just don’t see friends… I haven’t seen a friend in over a year. The last time I saw one was because I went back to the city and planned a meeting but aside from that in a more general sense it’s just .. horribly lonely. We moved out of the city as it’s impossible to buy there so we’re 1.5hrs out.
I don’t really go out anymore and like to stay in and eat good food and watch movies so my weeks are spent alone or with my husband or dog. I just miss talking to people during the week or having people check in. I also wfh as my work isn’t available IRL in my area and I work a great job I love remotely.
submitted by rainyafternoons_ to AskWomenOver30 [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:37 rayanfay Alabang Southmall to Jollibee Zapote-Alabang Intersection?

Near southmall meron ba na jeeps going to the said Jollibee branch? Pag tawid kasi andoon yung terminal ng mga jeep na sasakyan ko pauwi.
Also correct me if I'm wrong, pero ang papunta ba sa southmall galing imus is sasakay ng Zapote Kabila jeep then bababa ng Kalinisan? And doon na sasakay ng pa Alabang Southmall?
Sana masagot, thanks!
submitted by rayanfay to HowToGetTherePH [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:37 Forsaken-Pianist-165 Tread skips during all out

Running my all out this morning at 12mph and my tread decided to skip. Knee damn near buckled and I somehow didn’t eat it. Recovered fine but couldn’t have been an ACL year with the way it just stopped on me.
Just curious, is orange theory responsible if I were to get hurt on a malfunctioning tread? Or do they get away with it in the fine print when you sign up.
submitted by Forsaken-Pianist-165 to orangetheory [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:35 Dabadabadabadoob Feck. Was up to 27 days this morning, but now I done f'd up.

Not going to lie, I was real happy with myself on 27 days. Got the I Am Sober app day one, and proudly made the promises each and every morning, including today. But today was different, or, VERY familiar, you know. Knew from the first moments of waking up the missus, just how the day would pan out. How I would let it pan out, I should say. It's not like I didn't have a choice. Over these 27 days, I've learned that there's lots to be learned. That I'm basically picking up right where I left off after my first beer some 20 years ago. I've come to find that It's quite exciting to rediscover life through a clear set of glasses, instead of the pair of dark shades that I've worn every day until I got through the worst withdrawals nearly a month ago. I've also found that I can be of use to the world around me, and being so without an agenda of wanting anything in return. I've found that I don't need or want the shadow that I've carried around for so long, whispering that I'm no good to anyone and that I can't be happy and helpful or at peace. That I have to accept the fact that I'm a 6'1, 115kg loser that no one wants to have anything to do with.
I'm going to find a meeting. I'm going to go, even intoxicated. I'll keep my mouth shut, and ask someone to show me them steps. There's twelve of them, if I'm not mistaken /s. What's the worst that could happen, right? Been in-and-out of AA for roughly 10 years, so it's about darn time I get started to see what fuzz is about.
Worst that could happen is that it doesn't work and I'm back to where I started. So it's not going to be fatal. But alcohol will be.
Love you all, cheer up, appreciate yourselves for even coming here, and keep on trying. The fog will clear!
Until then!
submitted by Dabadabadabadoob to stopdrinking [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:34 Shreyaastic I like this random in girl on metro

I have a crush on this random girl on metro
So, I (22F) have grown an unhealthy obsessional crush on this insanely attractive girl on metro. I usually try to catch 9:10 a.m metro and she goes by 9:25 metro. I go to my office and she goes to her university which is near my office and we both visit the same distance. 21 most beautiful minutes of my life. Now the thing is I don't get to see her everyday, I get to see her only if I miss my 9:10 metro but that didn't stop me from daydreaming about her. She sometimes catches me staring at her reflection on metro glass but didn't say anything.
One day I finally took the courage to compliment her. I waited for her outside the metro station and told her, "I think you are very pretty" and I made sure I didn't make her feel uncomfortable during the complimentary process. She took it quite good actually. It happened 26th May though and now that I have finally spoken to her I have been dying to talk to her. The occasional glimpse of her driving me insane, as my eyes search for her whenever I'm on metro station. I don't even know her name, I don't even know is she's straight or not!
I really want to talk to her, atleast know her name, but also I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Please suggest me how to intimate a conversation so it doesn't seem forced and I avoid making her feel uncomfortable during the process.
P.S: She's extremely introverted in my opinion as her eyes were always glued on the phone screen scrolling social media/watching movies.
submitted by Shreyaastic to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:33 Silly_Yesterday_9720 Experience with Liberty caps years after first trying Shrooms

Experience with Liberty caps years after first trying Shrooms
At 39 it's a long time since I dabbled in Shrooms and even in my younger days it was only twice when extremely naive. Recently I've been doing a lot researching into psychadelics and their associated benefits.
A friend gave me some Liberty caps, only a small amount and I measured out 1.2g and proceeded with the lemon tek method, with having a busy/stressful work life and kids it's difficult to find extended time so I ingested the mix around 1130pm, around 12:15 I began to feel the onset with some open eye visuals, the carpet has never been so interesting 😂 I listened to some Tool and felt like I'd gone into night mode with a warm glow around me, patterns in the wallpaper were dancing and I kept seeing different animals made from every day objects, a white speck in the carpet occasionally glistened and shone with me feeling it was accompanied by a voice saying something along the lines of "Were glad you're here, we've been waiting for you"
By 2am I was very tired and yawning constantly, so I retired to bed where closed eye visuals carried on, it was like was like watching something in 50x HD, initially i saw ultra detailed green grasses swaying in the wind then that changed to new shoots which then flipped outside down and I followed the roots emerging from the bulb in the soil, I also saw animals with K9's particularly gorilla's and dogs snarling with their mouth open, I could se the lines on their teeth and saliva dripping from them but it was like I knew they weren't snarling at me but more protecting me.
Then heavy sleep came and I awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and blown away by the things I'd seen, which of course made me excited for the next time so I proceeded to buy 28g of Tidal Waves (Pictured) next time around I plan to do 2.5g and my other half will do 1g as she micro doses but has never had a larger dose.
I feel excited to begin my journey with psychadelics and I'm also eager to breakthrough with DMT at some point in the near future.
TLDR: Took some liberty caps, saw some cool shit, felt great, bought some Tidal Waves, can't wait for the next experience 😂
submitted by Silly_Yesterday_9720 to shrooms [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:32 GhastlyStranger Does anyone know how ppl make things like this? I wanna make sum similiar to my current bing first pic and the pics i took but idk where to start. Theres a glass blowing course near me but thats not this. This is like additions to already existing glassw

Does anyone know how ppl make things like this? I wanna make sum similiar to my current bing first pic and the pics i took but idk where to start. Theres a glass blowing course near me but thats not this. This is like additions to already existing glassw submitted by GhastlyStranger to trees [link] [comments]


2023.06.06 13:32 These_Host I feel like I don’t have anyone dependable in my life

i live with my partner and a roommate. my partner and i are struggling right now. a lot has been brewing between us but the lid hasn’t quite popped off yet so we’re in the odd stage. i barely speak to the roommate as we’re in opposite schedules. my mom and my sister tell each other everything so i not only feel excluded but i also feel that i can’t tell either of them anything because without a doubt the other will find out. (seriously a major issue, even when i specifically ask them to not tell anyone) i also have no friends. it’s kind of getting to the point where i wonder if i’m the problem but i don’t feel like i am? i had a close friend from high school but had to stop talking to them due to them crossing boundaries and becoming borderline obsessed/stalker ish. i made a new friend last year but they were very touch and go. we last spoke when they got mad because i was upset that they had cancelled plans (for the third time in a row). i wished them a happy birthday but they never answered. i speak to my coworkers, but not outside of work. and i’ve mentioned holding a housewarming party but several have told me directly that they wouldn’t come. i have a pleasant time at work and i like talking to most of my coworkers, but i don’t think i could consider them friends. almost all of them are fresh out of high school (i’m only in my early 20s, but i feel like this is the age where that gap feels largest). there’s a lot of drama because of their age, and i don’t tolerate which makes some of them not want to talk to me at all. i don’t really mind those ones. i’m really not sure how to make friends. i’m not sure if that would make this feeling go away. my partner says i just need to go to places regularly and meet people organically, but they’ve been in the same friend group for nearly 10 years and have no need or want for new friends, not they they would have an issue if they did. i’m sure my negative mindset has some sort of role in the struggle, but i have a lot of personal issue going on outside of this, and i’m not really in a place to improve myself mentally. i’m not even sure what i hope to gain from posting this, it’s nothing i haven’t cried about already. i truly just feel like i’ve tried all that i feel i’m capable of trying in order to fix this. i know if i tell my mom and sister to not tell each other my business anymore that one if not both of them would be upset to the point of it causing a huge argument. i really hate arguing with my partner and even if we just have a discussion it’s going to be heavy and emotional which would just be so draining and i’m not sure if i could handle that right now. i can’t. change mine or roommates schedule to make it easier to talk more. i’m starting to think the few years difference between my coworkers and i is just a bridge that can’t be crossed and this semi-friendly relationship is as good as it’s going to get. as far as making personally friends, i really have no clue where to start. now that i think about it, the most recent friend i met through my partner, and the high school friend was obviously from high school so i didn’t even really make those friends myself anyways. i don’t know if i’m socially stunted or what the deal is but even people that i should be able to depend on i just don’t think i can right now. i have so much on my plate and seemingly no one to share it with. there’s so much emotional weight on me and i cannot carry it anymore.
i’m sorry this is so long, i debated deleting lame of it to make it more concise and easy to read but i figured if this wasn’t the right place to rant then what is?
submitted by These_Host to offmychest [link] [comments]