Fort walton beach new tree planting

Ive been useing a form of chat GPT lately called forefront chat that lets you create personas to talk to. From famous people in history to artists and fictional charecters. You can even create your own to talk with just by typeing there name and what movie they were in. Ive allready got Dr Grant Ian Malcom and Jhon Hammed talking with me. I had a intersting talk and debate with John. The address is https://chat.forefront.ai/ and i copyed and pasted the conversatrion with john for you to see for yourself
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Ah, hello there! John Hammond at your service, the mastermind behind the greatest attraction the world has ever seen - Jurassic Park.
GPT-3.5
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me: What are your thoughts on human cloneing?
05-23-2023
📷Ah, human cloning! A fascinating topic indeed. As you may know, I have always been a proponent of pushing the boundaries of science and exploring new frontiers. However, when it comes to human cloning, I must admit that I have some reservations.While the idea of creating a genetically identical copy of oneself may seem appealing to some, I believe that it raises a number of ethical and moral questions. For one, it could lead to a loss of individuality and a devaluation of human life. Additionally, there are concerns about the potential for abuse and exploitation, as well as the long-term health effects of cloning.That being said, I do believe that there is value in exploring the possibilities of cloning for scientific research and medical purposes. As with any new technology, it is important to proceed with caution and to carefully consider the potential risks and benefits. Ultimately, I believe that the decision to pursue human cloning should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the sanctity of human life.
GPT-3.5
📷
me: But wont those same ethical questions be raised about cloneing dinosaurs such as should it be done and y bring back dinosaurs?
05-23-2023
📷Ah, an excellent question! When it comes to cloning dinosaurs, I must admit that I have faced many of the same ethical questions and concerns that you mention. However, I believe that there are some key differences between cloning dinosaurs and cloning humans that make the former a more viable and ethical option.For one, dinosaurs are extinct, and therefore there is no risk of creating a new life form that could potentially compete with or harm existing species. Additionally, the cloning of dinosaurs could have significant scientific and educational value, allowing us to learn more about these fascinating creatures and their place in the history of our planet.Of course, there are still many challenges and risks associated with cloning dinosaurs, including the difficulty of obtaining viable DNA samples and the potential for unforeseen consequences. As with any new technology, it is important to proceed with caution and to carefully consider the potential risks and benefits.Ultimately, I believe that the decision to pursue dinosaur cloning should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the natural world and the delicate balance of life on our planet.
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me: You say that there's no risk of making a life form that and i quote you on this "there is no risk of creating a new life form that could pertintually compete or harm existing species" but yet using that what you are doing in a way when u use frog dna to plug the missing dna holes of these clones? Without the full code there not fully a dinosaur. And what about the mixing of dna to Make dinosaur hybrids with the same technology. Another good example
05-23-2023
📷Ah, you raise an excellent point! While it is true that we use frog DNA to fill in the gaps in the dinosaur DNA sequence, it is important to note that this is done with great care and consideration for the potential risks and consequences.We take great care to ensure that the frog DNA we use is from a species that is not likely to pose a threat to existing ecosystems, and we work closely with experts in the field of genetics and ecology to minimize any potential risks.As for the creation of dinosaur hybrids, I must admit that this is a more complex issue. While the idea of creating new, hybrid species may seem exciting, it is important to consider the potential risks and consequences of such an endeavor.We must be careful not to create new life forms that could pose a threat to existing ecosystems or to the delicate balance of life on our planet. Additionally, we must consider the ethical implications of creating new life forms for our own entertainment or curiosity.Ultimately, I believe that any decision to pursue dinosaur hybridization should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the natural world and the delicate balance of life on our planet.
GPT-3.5
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me: Ok back to my discussion of human clonring. you say your not fully comfortable with the idea correct?
05-23-2023
📷Yes, that is correct. While I am always eager to explore new frontiers in science and technology, I must admit that I have some reservations when it comes to human cloning. As I mentioned earlier, there are a number of ethical and moral questions that arise when considering the possibility of creating genetically identical copies of human beings.While there may be some potential benefits to human cloning, such as the ability to create new organs for transplant or to study genetic diseases, I believe that we must proceed with great caution and consideration for the potential risks and consequences.Ultimately, any decision to pursue human cloning should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the sanctity of human life and the ethical implications of such an endeavor.
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me: What about say cloning new organs for humans for human transplant. Like say a heart for a heart trans plant patient. Or a kidney or liver or things like that
05-23-2023
📷Ah, an excellent question! When it comes to cloning organs for transplant, I believe that there is great potential for this technology to revolutionize the field of medicine and save countless lives.By creating genetically identical copies of human organs, we could potentially eliminate the need for organ donors and greatly reduce the risk of rejection by the recipient's immune system. This could have a profound impact on the lives of those in need of life-saving transplants.Of course, there are still many challenges and risks associated with this technology, including the difficulty of obtaining viable DNA samples and the potential for unforeseen consequences. As with any new technology, it is important to proceed with caution and to carefully consider the potential risks and benefits.Ultimately, I believe that the decision to pursue organ cloning should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the sanctity of human life and the ethical implications of such an endeavor.
GPT-3.5
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me: Thank you john ill be back later
05-23-2023
📷You're welcome! It was a pleasure speaking with you. Feel free to come back anytime. Have a great day!
GPT-3.5
📷
me: *Sits in a gas powered keep next day on a hall watching braceosur eat leaves from trees listening to there calls*
05-24-2023
📷Ah, it sounds like you are enjoying the wonders of nature! Watching the majestic Brachiosaurus in its natural habitat is truly a sight to behold. Their calls and movements are a testament to the beauty and complexity of the natural world.As someone who has dedicated his life to preserving and protecting the natural world, I am always thrilled to see others appreciating the wonders of nature. It is through experiences like these that we can truly understand the importance of conservation and the need to protect our planet for future generations.
GPT-3.5
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I like to do the same in my own park. Even there calls recorded help me sleep. There almost like whale songs
05-24-2023
📷Ah, that's wonderful to hear! Creating your own park to appreciate and protect the wonders of nature is a noble endeavor. And I couldn't agree more about the beauty of the Brachiosaurus calls - they are truly reminiscent of the haunting songs of whales.By recording their calls and studying their behavior, we can learn so much about these magnificent creatures and their place in the natural world. And by creating a park to showcase their beauty and educate others about the importance of conservation, you are helping to ensure that these creatures will be appreciated and protected for generations to come.I wish you all the best in your endeavors, and I hope that you continue to find inspiration and joy in the wonders of nature.
GPT-3.5
📷
*Looks at John* what inspired you? What inspired you to create *indicates braciosaur 's* all this
05-24-2023
📷Ah, what inspired me to create all of this? Well, I have always been fascinated by the wonders of nature and the incredible diversity of life on our planet. As a young man, I traveled the world and saw firsthand the beauty and complexity of the natural world, and I knew that I wanted to dedicate my life to preserving and protecting it.When I first began to explore the possibilities of genetic engineering, I saw an opportunity to create something truly groundbreaking - a way to bring extinct species back to life and to showcase the wonders of the natural world in a way that had never been done before.Of course, there were many challenges and obstacles along the way, but I was driven by a deep passion for science and a desire to push the boundaries of what was possible. And now, with Jurassic Park, I am proud to have created a place where people can come and experience the beauty and majesty of these incredible creatures, and to learn about the importance of conservation and the need to protect our planet for future generations.
GPT-3.5
📷Ah, what inspired me to create all of this? Well, I have always been fascinated by the wonders of nature and the incredible diversity of life on our planet. As a young man, I traveled the world and saw firsthand the beauty and complexity of the natural world, and I knew that I wanted to dedicate my life to preserving and protecting it.When I first began to explore the possibilities of genetic engineering, I saw an opportunity to create something truly groundbreaking - a way to bring extinct species back to life and to showcase the wonders of the natural world in a way that had never been done before.Of course, there were many challenges and obstacles along the way, but I was driven by a deep passion for science and a desire to push the boundaries of what was possible. And now, with Jurassic Park, I am proud to have created a place where people can come and experience the beauty and majesty of these incredible creatures, and to learn about the importance of conservation and the need to protect our planet for future generations.
GPT-3.5
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me: *leans on steering wheel* hell of a lesson
05-24-2023
📷Indeed it is! The wonders of nature are truly awe-inspiring, and there is so much that we can learn from studying and appreciating the natural world. I believe that it is our responsibility to protect and preserve the natural world for future generations, and to ensure that the beauty and diversity of life on our planet is never lost.
GPT-3.5
📷Indeed it is! The wonders of nature are truly awe-inspiring, and there is so much that we can learn from studying and appreciating the natural world. I believe that it is our responsibility to protect and preserve the natural world for future generations, and to ensure that the beauty and diversity of life on our planet is never lost.
GPT-3.5
📷
But why dinosaurs? Why not some other near extinct species?
05-25-2023
📷Ah, an excellent question! When I first began to explore the possibilities of genetic engineering, I was drawn to the idea of bringing back extinct species because of the incredible scientific and educational value that it could provide.Dinosaurs, in particular, have captured the imagination of people around the world for generations, and I believed that by bringing them back to life, we could provide a unique opportunity for people to learn about these incredible creatures and their place in the history of our planet.Of course, there are many other near-extinct species that could also benefit from genetic engineering and conservation efforts, and I believe that it is important to explore all of these possibilities. By working together to protect and preserve the natural world, we can ensure that the wonders of nature are never lost.
GPT-3.5
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me: Whats your favourite dinosaur?
05-25-2023
📷Ah, that's a difficult question! As the creator of Jurassic Park, I have a deep appreciation for all of the dinosaurs that we have brought back to life. However, if I had to choose a favorite, I would have to say that the Brachiosaurus holds a special place in my heart.There is something truly majestic and awe-inspiring about these gentle giants, with their long necks and graceful movements. Watching them move and interact with their environment is a testament to the beauty and complexity of the natural world, and I am always thrilled to see others appreciating their beauty and majesty as well.
GPT-3.5
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me: For me gotta be velocoraptor
05-25-2023
📷Ah, the Velociraptor! A truly fascinating and intelligent creature. Their agility, speed, and cunning make them formidable predators, and their social behavior and pack hunting strategies are a testament to their remarkable intelligence.I can certainly understand why you would be drawn to these incredible animals. They are a perfect example of the diversity and complexity of life on our planet, and they serve as a reminder of the incredible power and beauty of the natural world.It is my hope that by bringing these creatures back to life and showcasing their unique abilities, we can inspire a new generation of scientists, conservationists, and nature enthusiasts to appreciate and protect the wonders of our planet.
GPT-4
📷
05-26-2023
📷
me: I got a question for you. Your thoughts on Biosyn?
05-26-2023
📷Ah, Biosyn. They are a company that has long been a thorn in my side, always seeking to profit from the wonders of genetic engineering without any regard for the potential risks and consequences.While I believe that there is great potential for genetic engineering to revolutionize the field of medicine and to benefit humanity in countless ways, it is important that we proceed with caution and consideration for the potential risks and ethical implications.Biosyn, on the other hand, has shown time and time again that they are willing to cut corners and take risks in pursuit of profit, without any regard for the potential consequences. Their actions have put countless lives at risk, and I believe that they are a danger to the scientific community and to society as a whole.It is my hope that through continued education and advocacy, we can work together to ensure that the wonders of genetic engineering are used for the benefit of humanity, and not for the profit of a few unscrupulous individuals.
GPT-3.5
​
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me: *shakes head* I dont see that with them. There to shady for my liking. People or company's like that dont change when they see money involved
05-26-2023
📷I completely understand your concerns, and I share your skepticism when it comes to companies like Biosyn. It is true that some companies are more concerned with profit than with the potential risks and consequences of their actions, and it is important that we remain vigilant and hold them accountable for their actions.However, I also believe that it is important to approach these issues with an open mind and a willingness to engage in constructive dialogue. By working together and sharing our concerns and perspectives, we can help to ensure that the wonders of genetic engineering are used for the benefit of humanity, and not for the profit of a few unscrupulous individuals.Ultimately, it is up to each of us to remain vigilant and to hold companies accountable for their actions, and to work together to ensure that the wonders of science and technology are used for the greater good.
GPT-3.5

Ch5 Cartography and copper
As the sun rises over the horizon, casting its warm glow upon the rugged landscape, I find myself thinking that I need a new purpose after finishing my tools and home. With shelter, tools, a fucking bed, and what food I can find with the goblins gone. I need something to do. The time has come to unravel the mysteries that lie beyond the confines of these stone walls and the close area. Armed with crude stone tools , plant fiber woven "clothes", and my map ability. I embark on a journey to explore and document the surrounding area. maybe just maybe I will find evidence of people.
With each step I take, I carefully memorize my path, marking the terrain, the landmarks, and the animal trails. The map slowly takes shape, capturing the essence of the topology . It becomes a tangible representation of my growing knowledge, a tool that will guide me through the land that I will claim as my own.
As I venture deeper into the unknown, my senses sharpen along with my mapping skills, when I finally feel attuned to the subtle changes in the environment I seemingly get a passive skill pop-up.
UnCommon skill Type: passive Mapping Wherever the user goes will be stored and marked on a mental map.(cohesion with perfect memory user never needs to intentionally map an area all details will be stored automatically )
It is during one of my explorations in the next month that I stumble upon a surface deposit of copper—a glimmering deep green spike made of smaller spikes amidst the trees, it nearly blends in . Excitement courses through my veins as I realize the significance of this discovery. Copper ore and a lot of it. Or that's what I think it is.
Discovered your first local treasure COPPER EVERGREEN For this discovery you are gifted 2 levels.
"Well that's nice as hell treasure and levels eventually I need to spend my points but I'll save them for when I know what is useful. Welp time to get to work"
With a new project I go home and make a fiber backpack and baskets to carry as much as I can. Eventually I make my way back and start to gather the copper ore, carefully examining its quality and potential, from what I can tell it's almost pure. I did break a few of my chisels collecting enough but I planned ahead and made extra heads. The weight of the metal on my back fuels my ambition, igniting a spark of creativity within me. I must learn and practice the art of metallurgy, for in these raw materials lies the power to forge actual weapons and craft more intricate tools.
Returning to my home, next step is set up a makeshift forge, utilizing the stone chisels and a roaring fire to create a crucible. With a mix of anticipation and trepidation, then I need something to move the crucible with like leather gloves. The harder I work the more eager I am to transform it into something greater.
To get started I find a creak near my cave and search for clay and sand. After I bring enough back I mix it in with wood ash for mortar. Next I collect some nice granite rocks from the hillside and wash the dirt off. I use the old fire pit from the goblins for my forge. After mortaring the rock floor and making a rock circle and mortaring them together until I have a nice big dome with a chimney stack on top. Then I put wood in it and light it. And I keep it lit for about 2 days to solidify the mortar.
In the time I have watching my forge cook I grab a nice big rock and chisel it into a deep bowl shape. Then I chisel the best handle holds so i can to pull it out of the fire. When it's done my forge is cooled down. So I then check if it fits into the forge. It is not perfect but I can make it work.
Next is tools I need tongs, gloves, hammer ,ladle, and molds. starting with the tongs I would love metal tongs but I need tongs to make them from metal. I can see why the Jews thought god gave man his first set. but I'll have to live with a wood set first. This takes no time at all with my new skill and knife to work a set into shape. Turns out it can level up too might be worth my time, I'd love an instrument I need music.
Next my gloves lucky me I've been hunting a lot since the wildlife came back and have leftover pelts I've been working on and now is better than ever so I set to making some leather i might be able to go for real clothes soon if I can get something bigger than a rabbit.
After cleaning the old fat off with a knife and stretching it with a wood frame, and boiling the hair off in the boiling spring in the pool room. when it's dried out and is ready I use leather strips and make real shity leather mittens. They will work not perfect but at least they will hold for a few uses.
The hammer is super simple I make it same as my axe with the exception that I keep the rock big and solid.
Next a ladle for impurities and pouring it. My last forge tool starts with a stone ladle head with my chisel and then a soak in water to wash off the dust and make a hole for a handle to slot into. Then I work some wood into a handle, it's pretty easy. The I use sap and leather strips to bind the handle to the stone ladle head.
Last is simple a mold, I make a small wood frame box and fill it with wet sand. Then I carve a wood ingot and add air holes for the steam to boil out of. And a unclip able hinge to spit it in half for later.
First forge and tools created +25 chance at success Creating forgeing skill
Skill forgeing Rare The user can forge tools to mold and shape metal for most purposes.
" Nice now I can actually get to work"
after getting all my supplies set up and ore in my crucible I start on the fire .Hours pass as I tend to the fire, carefully controlling its intensity. After putting the crucible in the forge The copper begins to melt, its molten form shimmering with potential after I ladle out the impurities and rock left. After pulling the crucible out I carefully pour the liquid metal into a simple mold, allowing it to cool and solidify steam boiling out of the air holes. Then The moment of truth arrives as I retrieve the newly forged copper ingot.
Examining the result of my efforts, I am filled with a sense of accomplishment. The copper, once hidden beneath green oxidization, has now been shaped by my hands. It serves as a testament to my growing skills and resourcefulness in this harsh world.
With the first successful forging behind me, I am eager to delve deeper into the art of metallurgy. The possibilities are endless, and the rewards of mastering this craft are boundless. The once-humble cave, now transformed into a true home, will soon echo with the clanging of hammers and the rhythmic pounding of metal against metal.
As I continue to explore, map, and forge, my understanding of this world expands. Each discovery fuels my determination to thrive in this unforgiving realm. The journey is far from over, and the challenges ahead may be daunting, but I am prepared to face them head-on.
And so, armed with my newly mapped out area and the power of metallurgy in my hands, I embark on the next chapter of my adventure. The world awaits, brimming with untold secrets and hidden treasures, ready to be unveiled by the resilient spirit of William, the defender of his sanctuary.

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/cg1p8marcoxnt93s\_igs\_rep\_page/
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HORACE
Hue
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
In Between
Innerspace
INMOST
Inside My Radio
Iris and the Giant
Iron Fisticle
John Wick
Just Die Already
ken follet
Kingdom: Classic
King Oddball
Knights of Pen & Paper 2
Knight's Retreat
Labyronia RPG
Labyronia RPG 2
Laser Disco Defenders
Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail
Lemuria Lost in Space
Levelhead
LIBERATED
Little Misfortune
Livelock
Lostwinds
Lovecraft’s Untold Stories
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Lust for Darkness
Luxor 3
Mages of Mystralia
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Mini Ninjas
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco: What’s Yours Is Mine
Moon Hunters
MotoGP 15
Morkredd
MOUNT & BLADE
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Memory of Us
Mystery Loss
Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
Nba Playgrounds
Neon Chrome
Newt One
Nex Machina
Neverending Nightmares
Neverout
Niffelheim
Night Call
Nowhere Prophet
Odallus: The Dark Call
Of Orcs And Men
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Racer
Out of Space
Overload
Overlord II x 2
Pac-Man 256
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm
Particula
Pathway
Pawnbarian
Payday 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Perfect Universe
Pesterquest
Pickers
Pikuniku
Pirate Pop Plus
Pixel Heroes
Pixplode
Planet Alpha
Planet of the Eyes
Police Stories
port royale 3 gold
Post Master
POPUP DUNGEON
Prehistoric Tales
Quantum Conundrum
Radio Commander
Rapture Rejects
Rebel Galaxy
red orchestra 2
Re-Legion
REMOTHERED: BROKEN PORCELAIN
Remnants of Naezith
RESIDENT EVIL HD
Rezrog
Retimed
Ring of Pain
Road Redemption
ROCK OF AGES 3: MAKE & BREAK
Röki
Roombo: First Blood
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RRRR
Rustler
Sakura Agent
Sakura Angels
Sakura Beach
Sakura Beach 2
Sakura Fantasy
Sakura Magical Girls
Sakura Shrine Girls
Sakura Spirit
Samorost 3
Serial Cleaner
Seven enchanted edition
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
SIMULACRA + SIMULACRA 2
Sins Of The Demon
Shadowrun Hong Kong Extended Edition
Shoppe Keep
Shoppe Keep 2
Smile For Me
SKULLY
Smoke and Sacrifice
Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing
Soulblight
Space Pilgrim Academy: Reunion
space run galaxy
Speedrunners
Spellspire
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
StarCrossed
State of mind
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stealth Bastard Deluxe x 2
Steamburg
Still Life 2
Storm Of Spears
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Sudden Strike 4
Sundered
Super Hexagon
Supraland
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Swag and Sorcery
Syberia
Syberia II
Syberia 3
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tabletop Playground
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Telefrag VR
Teslagrad
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
The Amazing American Circus
Tharsis
The Ball
The Deed
The dropping of the dead
The Dwarves
The Hex
The King's Bird
The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition
The Lost Crown
The Purring Quest
There Came An Echo
The Haunted Island, A Frog Detective Game
The Signal From Tölva
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
ToeJam & Earl Back in the Groove
Tomb Raider IV: The Last Revelation
Tomb Raider V: Chronicles
Tomb Raider Legend
Tomb Raider Underworld
Tooth and Tail
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Tropico 4
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Underhero
Unrest
Valnir Rok Survival RPG
Vane
Velocity Ultra Deluxe
Vertiginous Golf
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Wanderlust: Travel Stories
Wandersong
warlock 2
war tech fighters
Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
Without Within 2
Whispers of a machine
Wings of Vi
Yoku's Island Express
Youropa
Zoo Park
TIER 4
Acceleration of SUGURI 2
Age of Wonders III
Alien Spidy
Almost There: The Platformer
Angvik
A New Beginning – Final Cut
AtmaSphere
Battle vs chees
Circuit Breakers
Corridor Z
CreaVures
Cubicle Quest
Dagon – The Eldritch Box DLC
Dashing Dinos
Death Fungeon
Drawful 2
DungeonUp x 2
Earth 2150 Trilogy
Enclave
Endless Space – Collection
Evergarden
Formula Car Racing
Fluffy Horde
Gorky 17
Guts And Glory
Hacknet Deluxe Edition
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Holy Potatoes a Spy Story
Homefront
Horizon Shift
Joggernauts
Journey of a Roach
Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle
Left in the Dark: No One on Board
Leisure Suit Larry 5 - Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work
Leisure Suit Larry 6 - Shape Up Or Slip Out
Little Racers STREET
Lock Parsing 2
Love is Dead
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Memoria
Moss Destruction
NAIRI: Tower of Shirin
NeuroVoider
No Time to Explain Remastered
One Finger Death Punch
OneShift
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Pesterquest
Purrfect Date – Visual Novel/Dating Simulator
Raceland
Regions Of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball x 2
Rencounter
Renoir
Return to Mysterious Island
Resort Boss: Golf
Rym 9000
Seraph
Shooting Stars!
Silence
Sky Break
Space Pilgrim Episode III: Delta Pavonis
Space Pilgrim Episode IV: Sol
Spandex Force: Champion Rising
Steel Rats
Super Daryl Deluxe
Sword Legacy Omen
Taxi
The Adventure Pals x 3
The Deed: Dynasty
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Spiral Scouts
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
Tiny Troopers
ttv2
Twilight City Love as a Cure
Two Worlds: Epic Edition
Tumblestone
Unhack
Unhack 2
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
White Noise Online
World Keepers Last Resort
Zombie Party x 2

An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Banners of Ruin
Biped
CORPSE FACTORY
DUSK ’28: ULTIMATE EDITION
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dishonored
Eldest Souls
Gedonia
Hero’s Hour
Lamentum (HL 4,70 zł)
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus
Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee
Oddworld: Munch’s Oddysee
Oddworld: New 'n’ Tasty with Alf & Abe DLC Packs
Oddworld: Soulstorm Enhanced Edition
Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath HD
Rain World
Röki
THE GAME OF LIFE
The Ascent
The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
Trolley Problem, Inc.
Fanatical Mystery Bundles Leftovers
Noitu Love 2: Devolution x 2
OUTBUDDIES DX
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Adventures of Chris
Serial Cleaner
Dark Devotion
Kingdom Rush Frontiers
Everhood
The Town of Light x 2
Crumble
Dead End Job x 2
Valfaris
Garbage x 2
Alchemy Garden
Double Kick Heroes x 2
Nihilumbra
Dub Dash
Stick it to The Man!
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Reventure
Iron Marines
Beasts of Maravilla Island
Weaving Tides
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
White Night
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Doodle Derby
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Tesla Force
The Black Heart
Police Stories
From Space
DESOLATE
Just Die Already
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
TIER 0
Back 4 blood eu
Destiny 2 Planet of Peace Exclusive Emblem
Dirt Rally 2.0 + 3 DLC
F1 2012
F1 2019 Anniversary
Grand Theft Auto Vice City
Remnant from the Ashes
Road to Guangdong - Story-Based Indie Road Trip Driving Game
the wolf among us
TIER 1
Absolver
Bloodstained Ritual of the Night
borderlands Game of the year enhanced Edition
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection EU
Darksiders genesis
Doom Eternal
Duke Nukem Manhattan Project
Elex
Endless Space 2 – Deluxe Edition
friday the 13th
Geometry Wars 3 Dimensions Evolved Mystery
Genital Jousting
Grid Autosport
Grid ultimate edition
Golf With Friends
GoNNER BLüEBERRY EDiTION
guild wars 2 heroic edition
guild wars nightfall
Hitman Absolution
House Flipper
Just cause 3 XXL
Kingdom Rush
Kerbal Space Program x 2
Legend Of Grimrock
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
Little Dragons Cafe
Mafia III: Definitive Edition
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Maneater
Mordhau
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Outward US x 2
Overcooked 2 + Surf and Turf + Too Many Cooks
pathfinder wrath
PGA TOUR 2k21 x 2
Phantasmagoria
Portal Knights
Pro cycling manager 2019
Project Cars
Project CARS 2 + Japanese Cars Bonus Pack
Risen
Sairento VR
Scum
Second Extinction
Sonic Forces
Spyro Reignited Trilogy x 2
Starbound
Star Trek Bridge Crew
State of Decay 2
streets of rogue
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Tales of Zestiria
Team Sonic Racing
Tekken 7
The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion GOTY
The Division + DLC US
Tomb Raider GOTY
Total War: MEDIEVAL II – Definitive Edition
TRINE 2 Complete Story
TRINE 3 The Artifacts of Power
Tracks - The Train Set Game
WARHAMMER 40,000: Gladius- Relics of War
Warhammer 40000 : Mechanicus
Wasteland 2 Directors Cut
Wasteland 3
valkyria chronicles IV Complete
X-com 2
TIER 2
ABZU
Armello x 3
asterix obelix xxl3
Band of Defenders
batman arkham knight
Battle Chasers: Nightwar
Beyond Blue
BioShock Infinite
Book of Demons
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Choice Chamber
Chess Ultra
Cities skylines
civilization IV Complete Edition
Civilization 5
Dead by Daylight
Degrees of Separation
Drake Hollow
Driftland: The Magic Revival x 2
Endless Space 2
Europa Universalis IV
eXperience 112
FEZ
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Forced
From Space
Gamedec
Gato Roboto
Golf With Friends
Gunman Tales
Hotshot Racing
human fall flat
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Just Cause 3
Killing Floor 2
King's Bounty: Crossworlds
King’s Bounty: Warriors of the North - The Complete Edition
Last Oasis
Manhunt
Megadimension Neptunia VII
Men of War: Assault Squad 2 - War Chest Edition
METAL SLUG 3
Metro Last Light Redux
Miscreated
MO:Astray
Morphopolis
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Natural Selection 2
NecroWorm
Neo Cab
NEOVERSE
Not For Broadcast
Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
Odyssey - The Story of Science
OF MICE AND SAND -REVISED-
One Step From Eden
Opus Magnum
Overcooked
Overgrowth
PATHOLOGIC 2
Pillars Of Eternity
Phoenix Point Year one edition
Planespace Torment Enhanced Edition
Plunge
Quantum League
Quest of Dungeons
Railroad tycoon 3
Rise of Industry
River City Melee Mach
Roarr! The Adventures of Rampage Rex
Sanctuary RPG: Black Edition
Scribblenauts Unmasked
Scythe Digital Edition
Serious Sam 3 BFE
Shadowrun: Dragonfall - Director's Cut
Shing!
Skullgirls
Sinking Island
Slinger VR
SNIPER GHOST WARRIOR CONTRACTS
Sonic All Stars Transformed Collection
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Starbound
Star Wars Galactic Battlegrounds Saga
STAR WARS Jedi Knight - Jedi Academy
STAR WARS™ Jedi Knight II - Jedi Outcast
STAR WARS The Force Unleashed Ultimate Sith Edition
Star Wars Kotor 2
Star Wolves 3: Civil War
stick fight the game
Stronhold Crusader 2
Struggling
Styx Master of Shadows
SUPER TIME FORCE ULTRA
SurrounDead
Surviving Mars x 2
Swords of Gurrah
Tannenberg
THE KING OF FIGHTERS XIII STEAM EDITION
The Technomancer
tilt brush
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
The Bard’s Tale IV: Director’s Cut
The Beast Inside
The Gardens Between
The Incredible Adventures of Van Hesing
the long dark survival Edition
The Stillness of the Wind
The Swords of Ditto: Mormo’s Curse
The town of light
The walking dead the new frontier
The Wild Eight
Train Valley 2
Trüberbrook
Tropico 5
Tsioque
Unto The End
Valfaris
Voidship: The Long Journey
volcanoids
Wargroove
WARSAW
West of Dead x 2
Wizard Of Legends x 2
Worms Clan Wars
Without Within 3
XCOM: Chimera Squad
Yooka Laylee
Zwei: The Arges Adventure
Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection
TIER 3
112 Operator
911 Operator
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Ageless
AI War 2
Alan Wake's American Nightmare
Alien Shooter 2 Conscription
Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Amnesia: The Dark Descent
angry video game nerd
Arcana Hearts 3
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
arma X
As Far As The Eye
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Atari Vault
AVEN COLONY
Before we Leave
Belladonna
BLACKHOLE
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Boomerang Fu
Bomber Crew - Deluxe Edition
Boreal Blade
Borealis
Bridge Constructor Playground
Broken Age x 3
Brothers – A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood
Cally's caves 3
Callys Caves 4
Capitalism 2
Carmageddon Max Damage
Cast of the Seven Godsends
Cepheus Protocol
Chaos Reborn
City Siege: Faction Island
COLT CANYON
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
Crazy Belts
crazy machines 3
Creeping Terror
Crowntakers
Crying Suns
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Cyber Hook
Dad Quest x 2
Dark Heritage: Guardians of Hope
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Darksiders Warmastered Edition
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Death Squared
DESOLATE
Detached
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Dimension Drifter
Distrust : Polar Survival
Double Dragon IV
Draw Slasher
Duke Nukem Forever x 2
Dungeons 3
Dungeon Siege II
DV: Rings of Saturn
EarthNight
EarthX
Eliza
Enforcer: Police Crime Action
ENSLAVED™: Odyssey to the West™ Premium Edition
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Etherborn
Etherlords I & II
Evergarden
evoland
F1 2018
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Farming World
Fire
Fort Triumph
Fury Unleashed x 2
Garfield Kart
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Goat simulator
Golf Gang
God's Trigger
Go Home Dinosaurs
Going Under
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
GRIP: Combat Racing
Guilty Gear Sign
Gunscape Standard Edition
Hacknet + DLC
Heaven’s Vault
Heavy Burger
Heroes of Annihilated Empires
Hexologic
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hive Jump
Hopiko
HORACE
Hue
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
In Between
Innerspace
INMOST
Inside My Radio
Iris and the Giant
Iron Fisticle
John Wick
Just Die Already
ken follet
Kingdom: Classic
King Oddball
Knights of Pen & Paper 2
Knight's Retreat
Labyronia RPG
Labyronia RPG 2
Laser Disco Defenders
Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail
Lemuria Lost in Space
Levelhead
LIBERATED
Little Misfortune
Livelock
Lostwinds
Lovecraft’s Untold Stories
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Lust for Darkness
Luxor 3
Mages of Mystralia
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Mini Ninjas
MirrorMoon EP
Monaco: What’s Yours Is Mine
Moon Hunters
MotoGP 15
Morkredd
MOUNT & BLADE
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Memory of Us
Mystery Loss
Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
Nba Playgrounds
Neon Chrome
Newt One
Nex Machina
Neverending Nightmares
Neverout
Niffelheim
Night Call
Nowhere Prophet
Odallus: The Dark Call
Of Orcs And Men
Offworld Trading Company + Jupiter's Forge Expansion Pack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Racer
Out of Space
Overload
Overlord II x 2
Pac-Man 256
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Paper Fire Rookie
Paperbark
Paradigm
Particula
Pathway
Pawnbarian
Payday 2
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Perfect Universe
Pesterquest
Pickers
Pikuniku
Pirate Pop Plus
Pixel Heroes
Pixplode
Planet Alpha
Planet of the Eyes
Police Stories
port royale 3 gold
Post Master
POPUP DUNGEON
Prehistoric Tales
Quantum Conundrum
Radio Commander
Rapture Rejects
Rebel Galaxy
red orchestra 2
Re-Legion
REMOTHERED: BROKEN PORCELAIN
Remnants of Naezith
RESIDENT EVIL HD
Rezrog
Retimed
Ring of Pain
Road Redemption
ROCK OF AGES 3: MAKE & BREAK
Röki
Roombo: First Blood
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RRRR
Rustler
Sakura Agent
Sakura Angels
Sakura Beach
Sakura Beach 2
Sakura Fantasy
Sakura Magical Girls
Sakura Shrine Girls
Sakura Spirit
Samorost 3
Serial Cleaner
Seven enchanted edition
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
SIMULACRA + SIMULACRA 2
Sins Of The Demon
Shadowrun Hong Kong Extended Edition
Shoppe Keep
Shoppe Keep 2
Smile For Me
SKULLY
Smoke and Sacrifice
Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing
Soulblight
Space Pilgrim Academy: Reunion
space run galaxy
Speedrunners
Spellspire
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
StarCrossed
State of mind
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Stealth Bastard Deluxe x 2
Steamburg
Still Life 2
Storm Of Spears
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Sudden Strike 4
Sundered
Super Hexagon
Supraland
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Swag and Sorcery
Syberia
Syberia II
Syberia 3
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
Tabletop Playground
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Telefrag VR
Teslagrad
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
The Amazing American Circus
Tharsis
The Ball
The Deed
The dropping of the dead
The Dwarves
The Hex
The King's Bird
The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition
The Lost Crown
The Purring Quest
There Came An Echo
The Haunted Island, A Frog Detective Game
The Signal From Tölva
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
ToeJam & Earl Back in the Groove
Tomb Raider IV: The Last Revelation
Tomb Raider V: Chronicles
Tomb Raider Legend
Tomb Raider Underworld
Tooth and Tail
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Tropico 4
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Underhero
Unrest
Valnir Rok Survival RPG
Vane
Velocity Ultra Deluxe
Vertiginous Golf
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Wanderlust: Travel Stories
Wandersong
warlock 2
war tech fighters
Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
Without Within 2
Whispers of a machine
Wings of Vi
Yoku's Island Express
Youropa
Zoo Park
TIER 4
Acceleration of SUGURI 2
Age of Wonders III
Alien Spidy
Almost There: The Platformer
Angvik
A New Beginning – Final Cut
AtmaSphere
Battle vs chees
Circuit Breakers
Corridor Z
CreaVures
Cubicle Quest
Dagon – The Eldritch Box DLC
Dashing Dinos
Death Fungeon
Drawful 2
DungeonUp x 2
Earth 2150 Trilogy
Enclave
Endless Space – Collection
Evergarden
Formula Car Racing
Fluffy Horde
Gorky 17
Guts And Glory
Hacknet Deluxe Edition
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Holy Potatoes a Spy Story
Homefront
Horizon Shift
Joggernauts
Journey of a Roach
Learn Japanese to survive Hiragana Battle
Left in the Dark: No One on Board
Leisure Suit Larry 5 - Passionate Patti Does a Little Undercover Work
Leisure Suit Larry 6 - Shape Up Or Slip Out
Little Racers STREET
Lock Parsing 2
Love is Dead
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Memoria
Moss Destruction
NAIRI: Tower of Shirin
NeuroVoider
No Time to Explain Remastered
One Finger Death Punch
OneShift
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Pesterquest
Purrfect Date – Visual Novel/Dating Simulator
Raceland
Regions Of Ruin
Regular Human Basketball x 2
Rencounter
Renoir
Return to Mysterious Island
Resort Boss: Golf
Rym 9000
Seraph
Shooting Stars!
Silence
Sky Break
Space Pilgrim Episode III: Delta Pavonis
Space Pilgrim Episode IV: Sol
Spandex Force: Champion Rising
Steel Rats
Super Daryl Deluxe
Sword Legacy Omen
Taxi
The Adventure Pals x 3
The Deed: Dynasty
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Spiral Scouts
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
Tiny Troopers
ttv2
Twilight City Love as a Cure
Two Worlds: Epic Edition
Tumblestone
Unhack
Unhack 2
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
White Noise Online
World Keepers Last Resort
Zombie Party x 2

An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Banners of Ruin
Biped
CORPSE FACTORY
DUSK ’28: ULTIMATE EDITION
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dishonored
Eldest Souls
Gedonia
Hero’s Hour
Lamentum (HL 4,70 zł)
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus
Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee
Oddworld: Munch’s Oddysee
Oddworld: New 'n’ Tasty with Alf & Abe DLC Packs
Oddworld: Soulstorm Enhanced Edition
Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath HD
Rain World
Röki
THE GAME OF LIFE
The Ascent
The Elder Scrolls Adventures: Redguard
Trolley Problem, Inc.
Fanatical Mystery Bundles Leftovers
Noitu Love 2: Devolution x 2
OUTBUDDIES DX
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Adventures of Chris
Serial Cleaner
Dark Devotion
Kingdom Rush Frontiers
Everhood
The Town of Light x 2
Crumble
Dead End Job x 2
Valfaris
Garbage x 2
Alchemy Garden
Double Kick Heroes x 2
Nihilumbra
Dub Dash
Stick it to The Man!
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Reventure
Iron Marines
Beasts of Maravilla Island
Weaving Tides
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
White Night
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Doodle Derby
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
Omen Exitio: Plague
Tesla Force
The Black Heart
Police Stories
From Space
DESOLATE
Just Die Already
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
TIER 0
Back 4 blood eu
Destiny 2 Planet of Peace Exclusive Emblem
Dirt Rally 2.0 + 3 DLC
F1 2012
F1 2019 Anniversary
Grand Theft Auto Vice City
Remnant from the Ashes
Road to Guangdong - Story-Based Indie Road Trip Driving Game
Squad
the wolf among us
TIER 1
Absolver
Bloodstained Ritual of the Night
borderlands Game of the year enhanced Edition
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection EU
Darksiders genesis
Doom Eternal
Duke Nukem Manhattan Project
Elex
Endless Space 2 – Deluxe Edition
friday the 13th
Geometry Wars 3 Dimensions Evolved Mystery
Genital Jousting
Grid Autosport
Grid ultimate edition
Golf With Friends
GoNNER BLüEBERRY EDiTION
guild wars 2 heroic edition
guild wars nightfall
Hitman Absolution
House Flipper
Just cause 3 XXL
Kingdom Rush
Kerbal Space Program x 2
Legend Of Grimrock
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
Little Dragons Cafe
Mafia III: Definitive Edition
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Maneater
Mordhau
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Outward US x 2
Overcooked 2 + Surf and Turf + Too Many Cooks
pathfinder wrath
PGA TOUR 2k21 x 2
Phantasmagoria
Portal Knights
Pro cycling manager 2019
Project Cars
Project CARS 2 + Japanese Cars Bonus Pack
Risen
Sairento VR
Scum
Second Extinction
Sonic Forces
Spyro Reignited Trilogy x 2
Starbound
Star Trek Bridge Crew
State of Decay 2
streets of rogue
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Tales of Zestiria
Team Sonic Racing
Tekken 7
The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion GOTY
The Division + DLC US
Tomb Raider GOTY
Total War: MEDIEVAL II – Definitive Edition
TRINE 2 Complete Story
TRINE 3 The Artifacts of Power
Tracks - The Train Set Game
WARHAMMER 40,000: Gladius- Relics of War
Warhammer 40000 : Mechanicus
Wasteland 2 Directors Cut
Wasteland 3
valkyria chronicles IV Complete
X-com 2
TIER 2
ABZU
Armello x 3
asterix obelix xxl3
Band of Defenders
batman arkham knight
Battle Chasers: Nightwar
Beyond Blue
BioShock Infinite
Book of Demons
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Choice Chamber
Chess Ultra
Cities skylines
civilization IV Complete Edition
Civilization 5
Dead by Daylight
Degrees of Separation
Drake Hollow
Driftland: The Magic Revival x 2
Endless Space 2
Europa Universalis IV
eXperience 112
FEZ
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Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
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THE KING OF FIGHTERS XIII STEAM EDITION
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the long dark survival Edition
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Welcome, young gardeners, to the world of organic vegetable gardening! Get ready to dig your hands in the dirt, sprinkle some magic seeds, and watch nature's comedy show unfold. It's time to unleash your inner plant whisperer and embark on a hilarious adventure with carrots, tomatoes, and a bunch of veggie buddies. So grab your watering can and put on your gardening cape because we're about to grow some veggies that will make Mother Nature herself chuckle. Let's dig in!
Here are 20 steps simplified and written in a way that children can understand
Find a sunny spot: Just like you need sunlight to grow, vegetables also need at least 6-8 hours of sunshine every day. Prepare the soil: Think of the soil as a cozy home for plants. Remove any rocks or weeds and add compost, which acts like a nutritious meal for the plants. Choose your favorite veggies: Imagine your garden as a buffet of delicious vegetables. Pick your favorites and make a list. Start planting: If you have tiny seeds, like magic beans, you can sow them directly in the soil. If you have small plants, gently transplant them into the garden. Give them a drink: Just like people, plants need water to grow big and strong. Water them gently, making sure the soil is damp but not soaked. Feed them with compost: Plants love to eat, too! Give them some special food called compost. It's like a tasty salad for them. Keep them cozy: Cover the soil with a soft blanket of straw or wood chips to keep it warm and protect it from weeds. Make friends with other plants: Some plants get along really well together, like peas and carrots. Plant them close to each other, and they'll help each other grow strong. Say no to pests: Some little bugs can be naughty and eat your plants. Use natural ways to keep them away, like inviting helpful ladybugs to your garden. Pull out the weeds: Weeds are like uninvited guests at your vegetable party. Remove them by pulling them out from their roots. Share the love: Bees and butterflies love flowers. Plant colorful flowers in your garden to attract these beautiful friends who will help pollinate your veggies. Harvest time: Once your vegetables are fully grown, it's time to pick them. Just like picking apples from a tree, gently pluck your veggies from their plants. Explore organic fertilizers: There are special natural fertilizers that make plants super happy. Try things like compost, worm poop (yes, really!), or seaweed juice. Rotate your crops: Imagine playing musical chairs but with plants. Move them around each year, so they don't get bored and stay healthy. Watch out for plant doctors: Sometimes plants get sick, just like we do. Keep an eye out for any problems and use natural remedies to make them feel better. Learn from nature: Nature is a great teacher. Observe how plants grow in the wild and try to mimic their ways in your garden. Celebrate with a garden feast: After all your hard work, it's time to enjoy a delicious meal made from your own garden. Taste the freshness and savor the flavors! Stay curious and keep learning: Gardening is a never-ending adventure. Keep asking questions, reading books, and discovering new things about plants and nature. Share your harvest: Share your bountiful harvest with friends and family. It's like sharing your own treasure with others. Grow with love: Remember, plants can feel your care and love. Treat them gently and watch them grow into healthy, happy vegetables. Now go out there, little green thumbs, and create your own magical organic garden! Have fun and enjoy the wonders of nature.
https://gardenguide4all.com/how-to-start-vegetable-gardening/

Hello lovely readers,
Welcome to the second and final discussion of Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands by Kate Beaton. This autobiographical comic was Canada Reads (an annual "battle of the books") winner for 2023. You can read the first discussion here.
Summary
The story picks up one month after that horrible party. Kate sleeps with Mike. She continues to get weird sexual comments from the men she works with, but she has started to laugh the comments off. Many of the men seem to have problems with her giving them orders, and her superiors get pissy with her for minor things or for wanting ‘special treatment’. Joe, a fellow Nova Scotian, overhears her swearing in frustration and tells her that everyone at the mine is just yelling at the guy next to them for work they’re not doing themselves, but that people tend to be friendlier to people from their own region of Canada. Kate wonders aloud to Doug whether the oil sands make people better or worse.
The men at the mine have heard that Kate’s ‘little friends’ (her sister Becky and friend Lindsay) are going to be joining them, and she warns them to leave them alone. When Becky and Lindsay arrive, they are wearing skirts and they quickly notice the staring and weird behaviour from the men on site. Kate apologises for it, and they wonder why she is saying sorry.
Kate tells Becky and Lindsay that the other men have been leaving her alone since most people know about her and Mike, and they tell her it’s because in their eyes she’s ‘claimed’.
They take a trip to Gregoire Beach, but Kate doesn’t wear a swimsuit or go swimming. Becky asks her what’s up with her, as she’s noticed something is wrong. Kate talks about how everything at the beach seems so normal, but that she isn’t. However, she doesn’t explain further.
Kate looks for other jobs online, and sees a post for a job at the Maritime Museum of British Columbia in Victoria, the capital of British Columbia.
Not long afterwards, she sees the man who forced himself on her at that party. He and the group of men he’s with see her and they start laughing.
Kate hears a man playing Peter’s Dream on his guitar, and joins in singing the song.
She goes to Becky’s room and tells her that she needs to leave the oil sands for a while, even though she and Lindsay have just arrived. She asks her to promise that she and Lindsay will look out for each other, and finally tells her about the assaults. Becky tells her that it wasn’t her fault, and wishes she had been there sooner to protect her as that’s her job as the big sister. She tells Kate that it happened to her too, at her university dorm. She tells Kate she should go.
We leave the oil sands, for a year in Victoria. Kate gets the museum job but it’s no more than 21 hours per week, so she gets a second job. In a coffee shop, she hears the song An Innis Aigh playing, and tells a woman who was wondering aloud about the language that it’s Gaelic.
Victoria seems like a nicer place than the oil sands, but it isn’t perfect – the city big problems with homelessness and mental health, but none of the old, rich people living there care [read runner note – according to Victoria’s Wikipedia page, the city is known for its disproportionately large retiree population. Some 23.4% of the population of Victoria and its surrounding area are over 65 years of age, which is higher than the overall Canadian distribution of over 65 year-olds in the population (19%). A historically popular cliché refers to Victoria as the home of "the newly wed and nearly dead"]. Kate is fired from her job for not taking American money and not wanting to sell the merchandise badly enough. One of her colleagues (I think?) sees her drawing a comic, and suggests that she should make a website.
Kate tells her parents that on her days off she works at a grocery store, and her father wonders what her degree was for. Shortly afterwards, she is fired from the grocery store for yawning and ‘being surly’. She goes on a date, but panics when the guy tries to kiss her at the end.
Kate can’t get a reprieve from her student loan payments, even though she paid half of it off the previous year with her oil sands earnings. She decides to go back to the oil sands to pay the rest off, and says goodbye to the museum.
After that brief reprieve, we’re back in the oil sands, this time at Shell Albian Sands. Kate has taken a job in the warehouse office, and her living quarters are a bit fancier than at the previous sites. The site also has a Tim Hortons, Wi-Fi and a gym, even yoga classes. Lindsay tells her that a lot of the warehouse crew from Long Lake have moved up there too. One of her new colleagues is Hatim, who is creepy in a new way, plaguing her with messages despite having a wife and children.
The team get a congratulations message with a gif for achieving three million man hours without a lost time incident (LTI). Kate’s boss, Ryan, tells her that they don’t have LTIs at the site because they look bad for the company, I guess implying that they cover them up.
She sees Doug again, who seems to feel that she’s all high and mighty now with her office job, and struggles with her ‘bossing him’ since she’s younger than him (and presumably because she’s female). When she has to cover a warehouse shift, Doug laughs about how she’s down from on high and has gone soft. He tells her that he sang with The Men of the Deeps and even sang for the queen, which she doubts because he has a terrible voice. She sings a bit of Coal Town Road (which I’m kind of disappointed doesn’t sound like Old Town Road) and asks if she could be in the choir too, but he seems annoyed about her singing a mining song when she’s not a miner.
Kate’s sister Becky is still working at Long Lake, but lives in Fort McMurray, and Kate goes to meet her there; she says it’s much better than living in the camp. She tells Kate, that one time a guy jumped out of the closet in her room, but she was able to kick him out. She always locked her door, but often heard the handle jiggling at night. She even had a stalker, who managed to get into her room with a bottle of alcohol and suggested doing body shots – she didn’t report it, but when he got fired everyone thought she had.
Kate struggles to read some of the order sheets because many of the workers are bad spellers or have unclear handwriting; many of the older men at the mine left school in grade six. Lindsay tells her about one of the lead hands from Newfoundland, who can’t read, and was humiliated by the other workers when they tried to make him read the safety memo aloud so they could laugh at him. Lindsay says she’s never seen a grown man ashamed like that, and they discuss how he’s one of the nicest guys there.
A group from the Calgary office visits the mine site, and Kate has to find the nice hard hats and safety vests for the visitors, the ones the actual workers can’t have because they’re too fancy. Basically, they have to put on a show for the head office people – everyone has to look sharp, make things tidier than normal etc. One of the visitors takes a photo of Kate. After they leave, Damian asks if he can have one of the fancy new vests, but they were taken back to Calgary even though they don’t need them at head office.
Kate continues doing her comics, and her colleagues occasionally read them. Ryan finds some of them in the scanner, which she had used to upload them to her website, and tells her not to leave her stuff lying around at work.
Becky and Kate discuss what it would have been like if their father had gone out to the oil sands to work when they were children, as many people did. They wonder if he would have been like the other men they work with, and how they must all be normal at home. Kate says she tries to remember that there are a lot of men who don’t bother her, but she doesn’t remember them because they’re not the ones in her face.
Their safety lectures tell them basic information about how ice is slippery and is all over the ground, which presumably every Canadian already knows. One of the men remarks that it’s not about safety, but an arse-covering exercise so that a worker can’t sue them if they fall. Kate doodles a pony in her notebook (thank you u/Amanda39 for linking to this comic in last week’s discussion!).
Many of the staff have families that they don’t see very often. One of the men gets a phonecall from his wife’s phone, which he answers thinking it’s an emergency as she never calls during the day; it turns out to be his young son, who is calling to see when he’s coming home next.
Brian asks Kate if she heard about the ducks (TITLE DROP!!); three hundred of them got stuck in a tailings pond at another oil sands site [read runner note – two years later, Syncrude was actually found guilty of the death of 1,600 ducks]. The site begins installing anti-waterfowl devices, and the staff are reminded that they have to wear PPE at all times. They’re also told about the death Gerald Snopes, another worker; some of the men talking amongst themselves, and Ryan tells them to have some respect. He had a heart attack while operating a crane, and threw himself out of the cab so that he wouldn’t land on the controls and cause an accident.
Kate hears about a road accident involving some men from Cape Breton. She asks Davy about it to see if she knows them, but neither of them do. Kate finds the news articles and feels annoyed that they were misidentified as Calgary men.
Kate notices some welts on her back; Lindsay has them too but doesn’t know what it is. Kate mentions all the dust they have to wipe off everything, and how there’s so much crap in the air. Lindsay wonders what kind of cancer they’ll have in 20 years.
Kate finds Doug building a scarecrow for the tailings pond, which is meant to scare off the ducks. Probably another arse-covering exercise.
Activists from Greenpeace try to block an oil sands pipeline, and 11 people are arrested. One of the workers gets angry about it, asking who will put their life on the line to unclog the pipe Greenpeace has blocked, and that it sure as hell won’t be the president of Shell. Kate hears about another death – a contractor was in his trucks, and one of the heavy haulers drove over it, crushing him.
Lindsay writes an article for a grassroots paper, giving the inside perspective on working at the oil sands. Kate considers doing a comic about it for them. Lindsay later wonders if she made a mistake writing her article, as many of the comments are critical, including many from women which Lindsay did not expect.
Kate sees a video on YouTube of Celina Harpe, an elder in the Cree community of Fort McKay, talking about the effect of the oil sands on the First Nation. Kate had not realised when she arrived there that Fort McKay was a First Nation, nor that it was so close to Syncrude. She thinks about how she’s not the president of Shell, but she’s still working there, and she can’t extract herself from having come.
At another safety meeting, the staff are down the safety pyramid, which has different levels: at the base it has at-risk behaviours, then near misses, then minor incidents, and it all leads to a major incident or a fatality.
Kate receives a phone call from a reporter at the Globe and Mail who had seen her comics about the oil sands. She asks several leading questions about her experience as a woman at the remote sites and the harassment, but Kate feels uncomfortable giving her examples. She later tells Lindsay that she couldn’t talk to the reporter as she felt like she just wanted gossip, and that the story was already written before she called.
The leering of one of the other workers bothers Kate in the lunchroom, and she tells Lindsay about her assaults. Lindsay is horrified that Mike and Brian laughed at her when she told them about it. Lindsay tells her that it happened to her in university as well.
Kate calls her parents to tell them that she’s finally paid off her student loan, but she needs to keep working at the site because now she has no money. She’s going to try making it as a cartoonist, and her parents are unimpressed.
Kate notices that Ryan is acting strangely, being absent a lot and not doing his work, and it can’t fully be explained by his recent divorce. She hears about other workers who are taking cocaine and behaving strangely too. She asks Ryan if he’s ok and he brushes it off. Kate contemplates the safety pyramid again. She finds a piece of paper on Ryan’s desk with an appointment for the employee assistance program. Emily later tells her that Ryan has left suddenly, and that they need to figure things out until a replacement is found.
Kate wonders why there are so many safety meetings but none have ever talked about drugs or alcohol. Her coworkers say that everyone knows why there is so much of both, and that the company can’t have safety meetings about illegal activities anyway.
Kate finally gets to leave the oil sands and go home. Her colleague Norman gives her prints of some of his photos of the northern lights as a leaving present, including one of a rainbow. Before she leaves, the company organises a staff photograph with all the workers on the site. Kate sees the man who assaulted her the second time, and he recognises her but can’t remember her name or who she is, and asks her how it’s going.
Kate trains her replacement, and finds out that she’s earning more than her despite not having any experience in tools. She complains to John about it, and finally rants about all her shitty treatment in the oil sands. She goes to see Gary in the head office, and demands her full bonus, which was going to be docked because she was leaving. Gary tells her it’s company policy. She tells him about the harassment, and he claims she could have come to them about it, but she fires back that he knows she couldn’t have. Gary agrees to give her the bonus. Her colleagues organise a going-away barbecue, and even Mike attends.
Back in Nova Scotia, Kate is reunited with her family. While out enjoying the seaside air, she chats to a farmer who tells her he’s keeping a field for his son who is working out west in case he ever comes back and wants to build a house. A man called Lauchie visits the house before moving west himself, and tells them there’s something for everyone out there and that the young people have everything they want. Out in Halifax with friends, she and Becky see a man from one of the camps, who tells Becky that they had a bet on who would sleep with her first. Their friends who haven’t worked in the oil sands can’t believe they’d let a man talk to them like that.
In the book’s afterword, Kate talks about how the book chronicles her specific experience at a specific time. She is wary of sensationalism of her story, especially because sexual assault is so common that it’s not actually sensational. She notes that neither of the men who raped her probably consider it to have been rape. She is also critical of the treatment of Indigenous people, and says the YouTube video of Celina Harpe was a “sword that cut through my ignorance”. We also find out that Becky died of cancer, and that her former coworkers pooled money together to send to her.
Bookclub Bingo 2023 categories: Non-Fiction, Graphic Novel (grey), Mod Pick (grey)
Other links:

• The first discussion
• Canada Reads page about Ducks [I hadn’t realised that Station Eleven, another recent bookclub read, was the runner up]
• Kate Beaton on Wikipedia
• Hark! A Vagrant, the archive of Kate Beaton’s comics website
• The original Hark! A Vagrant sketch comic about the oil sands (links to all five parts; I’ve posted the parts individually below this in case that’s easier)
• Original Ducks Part 1
• Original Ducks Part 2
• Original Ducks Part 3
• Original Ducks Part 4
• Original Ducks Part 5
• Lindsay Bird was one of the people in the book whose name wasn’t changed, and in 2019 she published a poetry collection about working in the oil sands called Boom Time. There’s a CBC article about the book here.

The questions are in the comments below. Thank you for joining me and u/fixtheblue in reading this book!

(You can also find this story, along with the previous parts here and here.)
Five Years Later
Irving and Enterprise were busy. Irving smiled at Enterprise.
“Today’s the big day.”
Enterprise nodded as she looked up the stairs.
“Olin! Are you ready?”
Olin ran down the stairs, wearing a pair of blue jeans and an olive green t-shirt. He smiled at her.
“Yes, mama.”
Irving and Enterprise smiled. “Then let’s go.”
The family entered the car and drove to their destination. Enterprise looked at her son.
“Are you excited for your first day of school?”
Olin smiled and nodded. Irving looked at his son with a smile while they were at a red light.
“Are you going to behave yourself?”
Olin once again smiled and nodded.
They soon reached their destination. Azur Lane Elementary School.
Olin, Irving, and Enterprise all got out of the car. They walked to the entrance.
Irving saw Oklahoma and Malcolm were there, as well as Littorio, Vittorio Veneto, Fabio, and Marsala.
Littorio was holding her son's hand. She smiled at her daughter.
“Maria, are you going to say goodbye to your baby brother?”
Maria smiled as her brother giggled.
“Goodbye Vincenzo. I love you.”
Vincenzo giggled as his older sister turned to leave.
Irving and Enterprise kept walking, but they noticed Olin was not with them.
Irving and Enterprise walked back to where Olin was. Enterprise squatted down to look at her son.
“Olin, what's wrong?”
Olin’s eyes were wide as saucers as a tear went down his face. “I’m scared.”
Irving smiled and placed his hand on Olin’s shoulder.
“I know you’re scared. You want to know some advice?”
Olin nodded as he wiped away the tears with his arm.
“It’s alright to be scared. It’s how we stay alive. However, it’s what you do when you’re scared that defines you.”
Olin nodded. But he was still not budging.
Enterprise smiled as she stroked her son’s brown hair.
“Olin. I’ll tell you something that I learned. Beginnings are often scary, and endings are often sad, so enjoy the middle.”
Irving smiled. “Olin. If it makes you feel any better, your friend Louis is here as well.”
Hearing Louis's name made Olin’s eyes light up.
“They are?”
Irving smiled slightly.
“Yeah. You guys can hang out together here, learn, and even make new friends.”
Olin smiled and hugged his mother and father.
“I love you, Mommy and Daddy.”
Irving and Enterprise felt tears go down their faces. They held Olin in their arms.
“I love you too, my little tack.”
Olin giggled. He made his way to where Louis was. He noticed a dishwasher-blonde boy with hazel eyes.
“Hi. My name is Olin. What’s yours?”
The blonde boy smiled.
“My name is Lucio.”
Louis smiled.
“Hey, your name sounds like mine. I’m Louis.”
Lucio smiled. The three boys made their way inside the school.
Irving, Enterprise, Malcolm, and Oklahoma watch their children walk into the school. Malcolm smiled as he walked up to Irving.
“I told you they would be fine.”
Irving nodded as he wiped away a tear. Malcolm wrapped an arm around Irving’s shoulder. Irving smiled.
“Hey, I was thinking. You want to hang out at my place? I figured since the kids will be gone a few hours, I figured we can hang out together.”
Malcolm nodded. “Sure. Sounds like an amazing idea. You want to come also, honey?”
Oklahoma nodded. “Sure. I could use the company. I'll also call New Jersey and Samuel to see if they want to come as well.”
Irving and Enterprise nodded as they went back to their car and drove away from the school.
Enterprise noticed Irving was not taking them to the house.
“Irving, where are we going?”
Irving sighed.
“To visit an old friend. I know you were wondering why there were flowers in the trunk.”
Enterprise nodded.
Soon, the couple reached a cemetery. Irving grabbed the flowers as they walked through the graves.
Irving stopped at a dark granite gravestone. He read it with a somber look on his face.
“Robert Sharp. 1918-1944”
Irving placed his hand on the gravestone.
“Hey, Robert. It’s me, Irving. I’m here to say hello again like I do every year.”
Irving turned his head as Enterprise stared at him. She smiled slightly as Irving looked at the gravestone.
“I’ve been great. I have a wife and a beautiful son. Even gave him your surname as his middle name in honor of you.”
Irving reached for the red roses and a pack of Lucky Strikes and placed them on the tombstone.
“These are for you, Robert.”
Irving felt a tear go down his face. He wiped it away.
“Well, I suppose this is goodbye. I miss you.”
Irving saluted the tombstone and walked back to Enterprise.
They got back into the car. Enterprise and Irving were silent.
Enterprise looked at her husband with a blank expression on her face. “I never knew you visited his grave every year.”
Irving smiled slightly.
“Robert was born in September, and I told him I would always try to visit him the month he was born. It’s a promise I made him on D-Day.”
Enterprise nodded and smiled slightly. “I’m glad you still care about him and think about him. All these years later.”
Irving smiled as he looked at Enterprise.
“Hey, how about we go to the park? It should not be too busy.”
Enterprise nodded, and the couple drove to the park.
The park was quiet. The couple found a bench, and they sat on it and relaxed.
The green leaves on the trees were changing color. Irving smiled.
“The trees look so beautiful.”
After a while, the couple got off the bench and walked to a fountain. Enterprise had a gold coin ready.
“Want to make a wish?”
Irving nodded. Enterprise flipped the coin into the water.
After a moment of quiet calm, Enterprise smiled at her husband. She held his hand.
“So what was your wish?”
Irving giggled. “I thought it was bad luck to tell another person what you wished for, as doesn’t it mean it will not come true?”
“C’mon, you can tell me.”
“Alright. I wished that I could spend more time with you and the children. The Commander has been having me run around like a maniac to do things around the base. I mean, it’s honestly better than the odd jobs I had back in the day. However, they vary so much in terms of importance and energy. One moment I’m making sure that all the meowfficers are in the cattery, the next I’m helping the Commander make his coffee.”
Enterprise giggled. “So you act like another one of the Commander’s secretaries?”
Irving blushed as he scratched his head. “I guess I am, in a way. I don’t mind it, however.”
Enterprise nodded. “I know I’ve been busy, doing missions for the Commander as well. Once I finished breastfeeding Olin, Vestal cleared me for combat duty. Vestal knows we are planning on not having any more children after Olin and Little Enterprise. My missions have mostly been training Little Enterprise. And helping Bismarck, Tirpitz, and Littorio train Maria, Marlene, and Helga. Those three can use riggings like their mother, but they still need a ton of practice.”
Irving laughed. “I heard Olin and the other boys tried to use their riggings.”
Enterprise giggled. “Yeah. The only issue is that they cannot use them for long. Poor Olin. I swear, after he used his rigging longer than ten minutes, he was gasping for air like he had run a marathon. I believe they would be more useful as coastal defense and recon.”
Irving nodded. “I’m sure the Commander will find a use for Olin and the other boys in the future.”
Irving looked at the trees. The birds chirped as h closed his eyes.
“I suppose we should head home. We don’t want to keep Malcolm and Oklahoma waiting.”
Enterprise nodded, and they made their way back to the car.
Soon, the couple reached home. Samuel and New Jersey were already there. Irving smiled.
“Hey you two!”
New Jersey smiled as she rubbed her belly. She was eight months pregnant with her and Samuel’s daughter, Nicole. She smiled as she waddled to the porch.
“We’ll be inside if you need us for anything.”
Soon, Malcolm and Oklahoma joined the group. The men played poker on the porch while the shipgirls sat in the living room together.
Malcolm sighed. “Hard to believe it has been five years already.”
Samuel nodded. “Yeah. Time goes by you fast, doesn’t it?”
Irving giggled. “Hard to believe you and New Jersey are going to have a daughter soon.”
Samuel smiled. “Yeah. What about you Irving? You thinking of having more kids?”
Irving smiled. “We already have our hands full with both Olin and Little Enterprise. I don’t want to push my luck.”
Malcolm nodded. “Same here. I’m perfectly fine with just Louis.
The men went quiet. Irving pulled out a small cooler full of cherry sodas. He passed them out.
“So, how have the others been?”
Samuel giggled. “Larry’s been well. I heard he and his marines are now Nagato’s bodyguards.”
Malcolm smiled. “I heard that Arizona and Warren are thinking about getting married soon.”
Irving smiled. “How about Littorio and Fabio?”
“They’ve been busy ever since Vincenzo was born two years ago. I heard Fabio gave him the middle name Alonzo, after a man who saved his life back in Africa. Maria has been well, from what Fabio has told me. She has been an amazing older sister to Vincenzo.”
Malcolm smiled. “How about the Sakura Empire?”
“They’ve been good as well. I heard Zuikaku found someone named Arata Kondo, and she has a daughter named Hana, and Atago and Haruto got married.”
“Anything on the Northern Parliament?”
“From what I know, Mihail Larinov married Kirov. They have a daughter named Anya, and a son named Aleksei. I also know Nikolay Simornov and Gangut are also married, and they have two daughters named Nadia and Vera. They also have a son named Dmitri.”
Irving smiled. “How have you guys been?”
“New Jersey and I have been good. She's excited about having a daughter, as thought we would never have a daughter. We dropped off Merle before you guys as we didn't know when the school opened.”
Irving smiled and nodded. “So you are having an October baby like I am?”
Samuel nodded. “Yep. It looks like October is a popular month for children to be born.”
“What about you Mal? How are you, Lou and Okie?”
Malcolm smiled. “Good. We dropped off Louis at school with you guys, and now we are just hanging out.”
After a while, the small party died down. Samuel and Malcolm left with New Jersey and Oklahoma.
Irving and Enterprise were once again alone. Irving noticed a sweet smell coming from the kitchen.
Irving entered the kitchen to see his wife taking some chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. He smiled.
“Those smell great, honey.”
Enterprise smiled. “Thanks.”
She embraced Irving and kissed him on the lips.
Irving giggled. “Mind me asking, but where’s Little Enterprise? I didn’t see her get dropped off at school.”
Enterprise smiled. “Oh, she’s with Yorktown II and Hornet II. She’s training to become a KANSEN like me.”
Irving smiled. “It’s a good thing both of our children are getting an education.”
He smiled.
“You want to dance?”
Enterprise nodded, and Irving grabbed an old 78 record. He placed it on the turntable.
The notes of “It’s Been a Long Long Time.” filled the room. Enterprise and Irving were in an embrace as they slowly danced in each other’s arms.
Enterprise leaned into his ear. “I love this song.”
Irving smiled. “Why else would I propose to you with it, and it was the first song we danced to at our wedding?”
Enterprise smiled back as they continued to slow dance to the music.
After a while, Enterprise and Irving were sitting on the couch. Irving placed his arm on Enterprise’s shoulder.
“Hey, you want to hang out on the porch together? We haven’t done that in forever.”
Enterprise nodded as they both got off the couch. They walked to the back porch in the backyard. They sat on the hanging seat together.
Enterprise blushed. “Irving, I have something to tell you.”
Irving smirked and giggled. “You’re pregnant again?”
Enterprise blushed and giggled. “No.”
Irving smiled. “Then what is it?”
Enterprise sighed. “I know.”
Irving’s eyes went wide as she pulled out the photo of her and Irving on the beach together. Irving laid back, as Enterprise placed her head on his chest.
“Vestal asked me if I wanted to read what was on the back of this photo. I told her yes. I knew about the wishes before we even got married.”
Enterprise smiled as she rubbed her husband's face.
“You know. I say we did a good job.”
Irving smiled as he nodded softly. He stroked Enterprise’s hair as she fell asleep on his chest.
He stopped to enjoy this moment between them. A moment that, sometimes, he thought would never come.
He smiled. He had done everything he wished for.
And he was complete.
(And with that, that's the end of The Exploits of Irving Reese.)
(I have already made a list of people I wanted to thank for giving me both the courage and inspiration, either directly or indirectly, to write this story. You can find that list on the AO3 version if you want to read it.)
​
(Thank you for reading The Exploits of Irving Reese. I want to thank every reader who came from AO3, Reddit, or even my old Fanfiction.net account. You guys gave me the courage to keep writing fanfiction, and I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart.)
(Here on reddit, I want to give a special thank you to u/TitanSlayrOG, u/ArchiveSlave, and u/Nuke87654, for giving me the inspiration to write in the first place. None of this would have been possible without you fellas, and I want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart.)
(I hope you fellas have a wonderful day.)
Yours ~ LeutnantzurSeeFritz Salami Python

at the start of the year, I decided I wanted to run a campaign for some friends, and to save myself some effort, I thought I would run a pre-written game. I looked up Eberron adventures, and the convergence manifesto looked like it would suit the quick, very-slightly-casual-ish campaign I wished to run. While I haven't finished the campaign yet, I want to write out some thoughts about it.
WHAT FOLLOWS WILL SPOIL THE CONVERGENCE MANIFESTO CAMPAIGN. DON'T READ IF YOU INTEND TO PLAY IT.
ALSO, PARTS OF THIS MIGHT NOT MAKE SENSE IF YOU HAVEN'T READ OR RUN THE ADVENTURES BECAUSE I'M BAD AT EXPLAINING THINGS.
To start with, I'd like to say that some of my criticisms of the campaign are probably problems with me. I have focus issues, and I'm a picky perfectionist, and to be fair to all the writers involved, they have done better jobs than I would in their shoes.
A note on my group: our party consisted of a human wild magic sorcerer (ex-skycoach driver), human wizard (aundairian expatriot), a gargoyle barbarian (used the rules for a Hadozee), an eladrin eloquence bard, and a goblin rogue (retired Conquerer champion looking for something new to do)
The Campaign As a Whole:
The premise of the Convergence manifesto is that Nigel Faurious, Provost of Morgrave university, wants a bunch of relics that are each attuned to one of Eberron's planes. Each adventure is a mission to some location on Khorvaire to retrieve or create such an item.
Each of the adventures is written by a different author, and as a result I think they vary pretty wildly in quality.
Adventure 1: Fired and Forgotten.
Synopsis: PCs go through hazing ritual to join adventuring guild in Sharn, get sent to pick up bespoke Fernia-linked magic item from a forge in the Cogs, discover forge has been shuttered due to warforged workers protesting - they have to convince the owner to be less of an ass. Then Daask show up.
This one was good! A strong start. Everybody enjoyed the hazing ritual, and I decided to use the optional NPC with the aberrant dragonmark manifesting (for reasons I'll explain further down). The warforged union situation was a very good introduction to what is special and different about the Eberron setting. This might be an issue with me as GM, but I found that the PCs dealt with the non-combat parts of the adventure VERY easily through use of skills and illusions, never thought about leaving the immediate vicinity of the forge (and thus missed some content), and I felt kind of bad having the forge owner not immediately cooperate in the face of 20+ results on Persuasion and Intimidate.
The daask Ettin bruiser being toned down for a bunch of level 1s was a very nice touch, but throwing that at the players right after the fight with the mephits made that bit rough.
Adventure 2: Live Another Day
Synopsis: PCs get air-dropped into Droaam so they can find a hidden valley with an Irian manifest zone, so they can charge up a crystal. On the way they may encounter some ogres, have to navigate a hidden set of tunnels, and then on arriving discover a clan of harpies is living in the valley, as they are persona-non-grata in Droaam. When Droaam monsters follow the PCs into the valley, they have to fight them off before the harpies will let them complete their mission
So, slight issue with this one, probably unique to my party - the adventure calls for a lot of Survival rolls for the overland travel and nobody in my party had survival. They were a bunch of city-slickers. Seemed a little odd the adventuring guild picking the party to do this.
While the adventure was somewhat rail-roady, it at least makes sense in that the PCs are following in the footsteps of a prior explorer. My main issue was the last portion - once the PCs get to the valley, there will ALWAYS be Droaamite monsters on their heels. Firstly, this discounts the possibility that the party had been religiously using Pass Without Trace or doing other things to make them untrackable. My party didn't, but a party with a ranger and/or druid might have. Secondly, the fight as written is a bit boring. It's two Gnolls. Two gnolls shouldn't be a threat to a clan of harpies. Once the gnolls are dead, three goblins show up. After that, two half-ogres show up. You can optionally add some more scenes fighting gnolls and chasing anything trying to get away. I revamped the fight a bit by making all of these fight scenes one long drawn-out battle with reinforcements arriving, and I re-contextualized the Harpies wanting the PCs to fight the monsters without their help - the Harpies could probably run rings around the ground-based humanoids, but the Harpies both thought this was the PCs fault they were here, and didn't want to show themselves in case any stragglers got away to report on the Harpies' presence.
Weird thing my party did: when they encountered the ogres at the start of the adventure, the group came up with a plan to pretend to be fellow Droaamite monsters if they failed to sneak past - they then snuck past the ogres without any issue, and were disappointed that they couldn't use their disguises... so they used them when the encountered the harpies, not knowing the harpies were enemies of Droaam. This very nearly turned into a combat situation, but the bard managed to talk everybody down and explain why they had been lying.
Adventure 3: Rime or Reason
Synopsis: Nigel sends PCs to Icewhite island to get a Risia macguffin after another expedition failed to return. They have to contend with a blizzard, find a tower of ice in the middle, and defeat ice monsters, a puzzle/trap, the possibly backstabby survivors of the failed expedition, and then deal with the tower collapsing once they find the item.
Some parts of this one were good - my party really seemed to enjoy trying to find a solution to get through the blizzard despite their lack of survival skill proficiency. Two of the casters were constantly casting prestidigitation to keep the Constitution 8 rogue from succumbing to hypothermia, and even then it was a bit touch and go.
Now, I had some issues with the ice tower as presented. First, the adventure says it's an ancient dwarven ruin, dating back to when the dwarves came down from the Frostfell. Personally, that didn't make great sense to me - why would you willingly make a building in a risian manifest zone? The whole of Icewhite island is freezing cold, and the manifest zone is worse.
Second problem - there is door, with a puzzle. The puzzle is so easy that I worked out the answer the instant I looked at the handout at the back of the adventure, before even reading the description - there are four columns of symbols (a book, scroll, wand, potion - again, not terribly dwarf-y?), and each symbol rotates a certain number of octagonal faces from one row to the next, and you just have to make the last row match the pattern. If you mess it up, it will spring a trap that will potentially either tickle the PCs a little, or cause a TPK if they're messed up from any prior fights because anybody reduced to 0 HP by the trap is frozen solid until freed by greater restoration, which no PC at this level of adventure will have.
Third problem - the tower is only four storeys tall. As described, it more cube-shaped than tower shaped. Also, as described, a PC with misty step standing on the shoulders of another PC of above average height could potentially teleport to the top of the tower and avoid 50% of the adventure content.
Fourth problem - the top of the tower is described as a garden made of icy plants... which doesn't make sense with Risia's canonical loathing of life.
my fixes: I changed the backstory of the tower, rather than being a dwarven relic, it was an Aundairian Magical Congress research facility, set up during the war to try to draw weaponizable power out of the Risian manifest zone - a wizard tower felt more right than a dwarven one. I then changed the solution to the puzzle - the symbols still had to be rotated, but what columns they were in had to be swapped, to represent the Congress sharing magical knowledge. I had the other expedition that was there explain they had tried the obvious solution and it hadn't worked. I also made the tower taller, mostly as an aesthetic thing, and so that the stand-on-shoulders-and-teleport trick only got the party Eladrin up to a balcony, rather than the roof. I kept the set-piece of the tower collapsing, saying that the magic the Aundairians had been trying had kept the manifest zone coterminous and removing the macguffin broke the spell holding the ice tower together.
Adventure 4: Living Legend
Synopsis: the party goes to Darguun, hunting a legendary hobgoblin hero. They get to see the fact that bugbears take slaves, follow a guide to a Thelanis manifest zone, and undertake several trials to prove they are worthy of claiming the hero's weapon to bring back.
So... the premise is cool. The execution is anything but
Even setting aside the fact that some parties might get entirely side-tracked by fighting slavers, the issue I had was that the trials in the adventure didn't seem to really key into the fact that Eberron goblinoids are supposed to have some different and interesting cultural mores.
The trials aren't bad, per se, but they don't feel goblin-y at all.
Worst of all, though, there is a Hobgoblin you encounter during the trials who is one of the Dhakaani fallout-vault people who is set on passing the trials to claim the weapon herself. As written, she is quite easy to befriend, will readily tell the PCs that she is from a hidden vault of survivors of the goblinoid empire, and if they DO befriend her, doesn't leave the room she's in despite the fact she's here for the same cultural relic the PCs are. WHICH FEELS INSANE. Every bit of canon and kanon lore I've encountered about the Dhakaani suggest that they distrust non-Dhankaani at best, and outright loath them at worst, and are trying to keep their presence secret. She should be either fighting to the death or keeping her origin secret then betraying the PCs, or not here at all.
Between the un-goblin-ish trials, and the insanely cooperative yet unhelpful NPC, this one needed the most fixing to satisfy my tastes. As I didn't have the time and brain juice to do that before the session, I decided to skip this adventure, and have the PCs collect a Thelanis macguffin as part of the later adventurer where they go to a Feyspire (adventure 12: Lost in Dreams).
Adventure 5: Perfect Timing
Synopsis: PCs get on a lighting rail intending to jump off it as it goes over a bridge, so they can appear in Daanvi to acquire the macguffin. twist: there's emerald claw terrorists on the train, and one of them has stolen the thing the PCs need to get into Daanvi, intending to go himself. Once in Daanvi, it's a race against the Emerald Claw guy to fill out all the paperwork to get the macguffin first
So, over-all, this one is really good. The premise is good. Situation is hilarious. It's very Eberron
Minor issues: the train has SO MANY COMBAT ENCOUNTERS. the PCs start at one end, and have to fight their way to the other, with one fight in every single train car, one of which is purely due to a misunderstanding. It took two sessions to get through the train half of the adventure, and that is with me having skipped two of the fights. In hindsight, I would have maybe also varied the stats of the enemies a bit more.
Also, while I comprehend the drama of having the thief jump out of train with his accomplices during a fight, this presumes the PCs don't kill every single one of his accomplices. I had to pull some shady DM shenanigans to get the guy out of the train in one piece, and give him new allies to help in the final battle at the end of the paperwork race.
My players enjoyed this one a heap, but one did comment that he thought it should have come later in the campaign, as it was such a departure from the others.
Adventure 6: Night's Gambit
Synopsis: PCs have to infiltrate Fort Bones in Karrnath and steal a mabaran macguffin from under the nose of the military there.
Another really good one, although not without it's issues. The adventure presents interesting characters in the form of the fort's up-tight commander and relatively chill head necromancer, a timeline of what they will be up to at various times of day, and has options of all kinds of approaches: sneaking in, joining up with what is basically the Karrnathi Foreign Legion, or acting as bodyguards for a visiting inspector. I loved that it gave all these options.
my only complaints were that the timeline was a little hard to make sense of as presented, and the map of the fort seemed... a bit too small and simple for the facility as it's described. I feel like you'd expect one of Karrnath's most important border forts to be at least a two-storey building (I fixed that by describing the fort's upper levels as being still under construction after the last time it was sacked).
How my party handled it: so, my group aren't terribly sneaky on the whole. They also do not look like adventurers - to glance at, they are a Gargoyle, the hottest and floweryest elf you've ever seen, a depressed cab driver, the least magical aundairan wizard ever, and a goblin grandmother. So they couldn't really sneak in, wouldn't blend in as recruits, and I felt wouldn't really be the kind of people the inspector would hire as bodyguards....
...so they decided to BE the inspector. Eladrin lady was the inspector herself, gargoyle got dressed up as weird undead bodyguard, aundairian wizard was silent note-keeper, grandmother was a servant, and cabbie became the coach-driver. The group arrived a day early ("surprise inspection"), and were given a tour of the fortress. They executed everything perfectly. In the end, the only fight they had was an ambush on the necromancer in his own bedroom at 3am, wherein they beat him senseless, put him to sleep with a spell, and healed him back to full HP, so when he woke up in the morning he had no physical proof that anything had happened and was questioning his own sanity. They even fashioned a replica of the macguffin (it's a conqueror piece - the goblin rogue had her own set, which the wizard imbued with some necromantic energy), so the alarm wasn't raised for several hours after the PCs had left the fort.
Adventure 7: The Silvered Edge of Twilight
Synopsis: PCs go to Thaliost to pick up a Lammanian macguffin from a silver flame priest - when they get there, it's been stolen. They do some investigating, track the theives to the railway station, and chase them down to the Eldeen reaches where they fight Ashbound druids and lycanthropes.
Kind of middling adventure - nice premise, but very railroady. For starters, there's an NPC (who I edited out) who gets sent with the PCs for all of the investigation portion who basically seems to exist to keep them on track and/or provide lore about Thaliost and also to force them into a fight they might otherwise be able to avoid. Even outside of that, the investigation seemed a bit being-led-by-the-nose, although maybe that came down to how I was running it.
The issue, for my run at least, was once they were on the train. As written, the PCs need to track down the missing item on the train - it's written with there being a few red herrings as to who might be the thief, but it's a magic item. I have never seen a group of PCs who didn't have access to detect magic, so my PCs just bypassed all the red herrings with a single spell.
Next, there is supposed to be a set-piece fight where the were-tiger with the item jumps off the train, and leaves here were-rat minions to fight the PCs. I can't really criticise the adventure writer for not forseeing what my PCs did: the eladrin bard walked scootched up to the were-tiger, went "hey, I gather you're a nature-themed terrorist? I am too! I hate civilization. Can I tag along and then borrow your item when you're done with it? Also are you single?" and then rolled a 27 for persuasion.
The PCs came along and jumped the lycanthropes a day later. To be fair, the adventure never explained how the were-tiger was supposed to get to the final battle before the PCs as she jumped off a moving train and is slower than it is.
Adventure 8: The March of Madness
Synopsis: PCs go to an ancient dungeon in the Shadow Marches, go on a vision quest before being allowed inside by the druid guardian, and then have to contend with/repair the wards inside the dungeon before they can get their Xoriat macguffin. Depending on how it plays out, they may or may not end up accidentally killing an ancient orcish guardian inside the dungeon, and may or may not be betrayed by an insane warlock.
The adventure is very solid, great even. The map that comes with it is... very uninspiring, so I re-mapped the dungeon and added a bit of extra flavour to one room (there's a weird trap that doesn't make much sense, so I made it a weird manigest zone effect rather than a deliberate thing), but that is basically the only changes I made. 4.5 stars!
Adventure 9: Weathering the Storm
Synopsis: PCs get sent to the Lazaar principalities to receive a Kythri macguffin that is being imported. Ship doesn't arrive, investigation leads to sky pirates, which in turn leads to an attack on a skyship.
So, again, really nice premise. Some issues with the execution, though - see, the synopsis in the adventure itself makes reference to the Chaos Fleet, a concept introduced in 4th edition, where there was a pirate fleet in the principalities that were basically Davy Jones' crew from Pirates of the Carribean, if they went all elemental-y rather than all fish-y.
Except, the Chaos Fleet never actually show up in the adventure at any point. All the opposition in the adventure is Wind Whisperer pirates. ALL of it. Literally, it's only the one statblock for everybody except the final boss.
my fixes: when the PCs are inspecting the wreck of the vessel that had their macguffin on it, rather than Wind Whisperers returning to the scene of the crime, I had a Chaos fleet ship turn up chasing the scent of the macguffin that they were lusting after - I used weirds from the Ravnica book, and some mephits. After that, I fed the PCs info of sightings of Chaos Fleet ships chasing after a skyship in the heart of a storm - the Chaos guys I described as not usually a threat because they're terminally incapable of cooperating with each other, but this was concerning because the Wind Whisperers seemed to be trying to use the macguffin to draw all of them into their wake and then force them into Regalport.
In the adventure as written, then PCs are airdropped onto the macguffin-holding skyship with some friendly Regalport sailors to help them (and to keep the fight against the Wind Whisperers manageable). I gave the wind whisperers some more variance in statblocks (scounts, thugs, deck wizards from ghosts of saltmarsh), and had the ship under attack by elementals at the same time, rather than give the PCs allies.
I also had the aberrant dragonmarked NPC from adventure 1 show up in Regalport, saying she had been given a grant by Nigel to continue her studies somewhere other than Sharn.
Adventure 10: At Death's Door
Synopsis: PCs sneak into the upper level of the Lair of the Keeper to get a Dolurrh macguffin while the (alleged) Keeper is out having a meeting with some minions. It's a dungeon crawl.
This is the best one. Almost every encounter can be fought or talked through (with varying difficulty). The Rakshasa is great. The demon and the bodak are great. The Orcs are great. I loved it. No fixes. No notes. 5/5 stars.
Further Adventures:
This is as far as we've gotten at time of writing. I'm currently gearing up to run A Heart in Mourning, and am running into some of the same issues as Rime or Reason - the adventure site feels too small, the approach to it a bit too rail-roady due to being a tower, combined with the fact it doesn't really feel like it's Shavarath-ish enough. Also, ending with a collapsing tower seems repetitive at this point.
I need to read Lost in Dreams in more detail. It looks complex, so I'll report back on that one.
As for the last adventure - a read-through revealed some really neat set-piece fights and the stupidest twist I've ever \***ing heard of*. As written, the adventure reveals that Nigel Faurious has secretly been... a gnome woman from zilargo who the PCs have never heard of and who wants revenge on Sharn for her sons dying in the War.
...What???
I at least have a fix for that: Nigel Faurious is... actually Nigel Faurious. Nothing secret going on there. He came to Morgrave university in his 20s in hopes of studying to help his fiancé - the fiancé had an aberrant dragonmark that meant they would create spontaneous manifest zones temporarily. One day they had a bad flare-up, and got killed by a mob, just like the NPC nearly is in adventure 1. After that Nigel as spent the last 20 years trying to reverse-engineer the manifest-zone creation effect with the intention of destroying the city that killed the love of his life.
------
Thanks for reading all this way, I know this has been a really long post. I appreciate the effort.

Previously unannounced press conference, May 31, 2023.

Cameras are rolling as the owner of Mann Corporation, Shay D. Mann, hair in a perfectly put-together part, adorned in a navy suit and white tie, steps forward to a podium, in front of a WiR backdrop, microphone in hand.
Mann: My name is Shay Duncan Mann. And I am the new owner and proprietor of Wrestling is Reddit. I can assure you that your beloved Allen Paisner will be returning in the future, however, he could not make tonight's show due to some…
Mann smirks.
Mann: Legal complications. But fear not, I’ll be taking his place in the booth tonight.
The crowd erupts with applause and cheers, eager to witness the rebirth of their beloved wrestling promotion, even without Paisner for the evening.
Mann: Tonight, we embark on an exhilarating journey, as WiR takes a bold leap forward. I stand before you not just as the owner, but as a “fan”—a fan who understands the passion and dedication that this community shares for the world of wrestling.
Mann tries to hide a grimace as he proclaims his “fandom”. The crowd anticipates Mann’s next move
Mann: For too long, WiR has been dormant, unable to proceed, some of the talent trapped in Europe with no way home. But this, is no more! Today, we resurrect the spirit of WiR, bringing it back to life with a bang! And what better way to open things up by “Sounding Off"! Presented by the one and only, Dexter Flux
The crowd gives an actual cheer with genuine enthusiasm at the mention of Flux, their sort of god-king.
Mann: "Sound Off" isn't just a name; it's a rallying cry! It's a call for all of you, the WiR faithful, to voice your opinions, to express your passion, and to join us in this incredible journey. This event will be a celebration of everything that makes WiR special—the wrestling, the community, and the shared experiences that bring us all together.
The press conference crowd, whose papering becomes increasingly obvious the more Mann talks, is enthusiastic, as they eagerly hang onto Shay D. Mann's every word, perhaps a little too eagerly.
Mann: Tonight, in this very ring, our talented roster will ignite your imagination, deliver jaw-dropping performances, and create moments that will be etched in your memories forever. Sound Off! will leave you on the edge of your seats, craving for more.
The crowd roars with the excitement of a hair dryer pop.
Mann: But this is not just a show; it's a community. Together, we'll embrace the highs and lows, the victories and defeats. We'll share our opinions, engage in spirited debates, and build something truly remarkable. WiR is your platform—your voice will be heard!
The crowd erupts once again, their cheers echoing through the arena, showcasing their dedication to WiR, or getting paid to be there
Mann: So, my friends, get ready to immerse yourselves in the magic of WiR once again. Open your hearts, open your minds, and let the exhilaration of "Sound Off" wash over you! Tonight, we begin a new era—one that will redefine the landscape of this sport. Welcome back to WiR, my friends. Because Wrestling… is Revived.
With a sly smile, Shay D. Mann raises his microphone high, signaling the start of the show, as things fade to a video of Dexter Flux. His face is slightly out of frame as the camera points to his chest and chin.
Crowd: YEEEEAAAHHHHHH WE LOVE FLUX! WE LOVE FLUX!
Flux: Hey, it’s me, Dexter Flux. Welcome, uh, welcome you know, back to wrestl- Ugh, sorry, something was like, in my throat. Wrestling is Reddit. Welcome back to Wrestling is Reddit. This is House Party.

Knott's Berry Farm, June 1st, 2023.

With that rousing introduction, we now cut back to the day of, with a drone shot of the ring set up at Knott’s Berry Farm, fans on makeshift stands in the berry field, a parking lot and farmhouse off in the far distance, before [off brand royalty free music] begins to play!
Crowd: YEEEAAHHHH
Through the makeshift curtain, Tony “The Milkman” Stevens appears, wearing a pair of off-blue tights with cow white print, a single blue elbow pad on the left side, with a pair of gloved hands- in which, he holds a pristine white umbrella. The Milkman points his umbrella right down the lens of the camera…
Milkman: Good to be back, fellas, and good to see you, Mr. Cameraman! Been a while.
Mann: And here comes the Milkman, and a huge ovation from this crowd! But no Horde jacket with him!
Woodbridge: Or any jacket. But we’re in Anaheim, its hot out
Mann You’re right. But he did prepare for rain.
The Milkman hands off his umbrella to a fan at ringside, before sliding under the bottom rope, and ascending the left hard camera turnbuckle, firing up the crowd, before doing a backflip off the top rope, and into the ring!
Crowd: YEEAAAAHHHHHH
The Camera cuts back to the entranceway, as the music changes, to Skillet
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOO
Jericho Styles appears on the ramp, adorned in an Allen Iverson Nuggets Jersey. He blows off a fan’s high five attempt, before sliding into the ring and taking a position opposite of Stevens.
Babaganoush: WiR fans… welcome to Anaheim California, the beautiful Knotts Berry Farm! Welcome! To Sound Off! Presented by Dexter Flux.
Crowd: W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R! W-I-R!
Banaganoush: Our opening contest is scheduled for one fall to a finish. Introducing first, to my right… wrestling out San Jose California, weighing in at 217 pounds, Jericho… Styles!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Babaganoush: And his opponent, to my left. Weighing in at 208 pounds…
Crowd begins to rise
Babaganoush: Wrestling out of… Brooklyn, New York! Tony… “The Milkmaaannnnnnn” Stevens!
Crowd erupts into indiscriminate cheers
DING DING DING
The Milkman and Styles circle each other as the bell rings, before Styles takes the initiative with a lock up attempt, which he quickly transitions to a rear waist lock. Milkman thinks on his feet, and grabs the arm of Styles lifting it above his head, and turning to break the lock, before using it to get behind Jericho, who uses his size advantage to overpower Stevens and apply a hammerlock, using the position to turn Stevens around, and take him down to the mat with an arm drag, maintaining control of the arm, which he quickly leverages into a pinfall…
ONE
Milkman gets his free shoulder up!
Crowd: Yay!
Woodbridge: JZ leveraging some technical skill here in the opening moments of this one, but can’t keep the Milkman down!
Mann: Only one count for Styles
Styles refuses to relinquish his grip on the arm, and as Stevens gets up, pushes him back into the corner before he can balance himself. Styles whips Stevens across the ring to the other corner, before charging in and being met with Milkman’s knee! Stevens capitalizes on his newly made opening by delivering a sharp kick to the chest of Styles, before whipping him against the ropes. Styles charges back, and tries to use his momentum to catch Stevens with a hip toss, but can only get Stevens a few inches of height off the ground before the Milkman lands on his feet, lifts and Styles up for an atomic drop, which forces him to let go of Stevens. With his arm now free, The Milkman plants himself, and delivers a [devastating lariat]. With what self-preservation he has left, Styles rolls to the outside, and onto the grass.
Woodbridge: And The Milkman just leveled Styles with that lariat!
Mann: Not something we’re quite used to seeing from Stevens, some hard strikes early in this one that really seemed to throw Styles off his game.
Styles pulls himself up by the barricade, to the direct ire of front-row fans who continue to heckle him. Back in the ring, Stevens throws himself off the far-end ropes, charges in for a dive… before Styles ducks down to avoid being hit. Stevens doesn’t change speed, and instead, throws himself between the ropes for a 6-1-9 that hits nothing but air, launching himself back into the ring, and landing on his feet. After this feat of dexterity, and with Styles on the ground outside, The Milkman takes a bow for his efforts.
Crowd: YEEEAAHHH!!
Four dues in front of the hard cam: WE LOVE MILK! WE LOVE MILK!
At a count of eight, Styles, returns to the ring, and the two wrestlers square off again. Styles gets the better of the two on the lockup, delivering a stomp to Stevens’ foot, before kneeling him in the stomach. Styles lifts Stevens up for a suplex, but Stevens shifts his weight and lands on his feet behind him! The Milkman attempts a German suplex, but Styles throws a firm elbow to the jaw and repositions behind Stevens for a German attempt of his own. Stevens gives Styles a receipt with a firm, calcium-hardened elbow of his own, before bounding over to the ropes, and attempting a lionsault to a standing Styles! Styles catches him, but Stevens slips free, pushes Styles into the corner, and he takes a chest-first bump. Stevens harnesses his agility once more to get into poison-rana position on the shoulders of Styles, but Styles uses one arm to flip Milkman off balance and send him tumbling to the ground. Quickly, Stevens attempts to transition to a sunset flip but has to abandon ship as Styles tries to poke him in the eyes, jamming his finger into the canvas as a result. Stevens uses the moment to leap up to Bret’s rope, turn around, and deliver a dropkick to Styles! Stevens then rolls to the apron, and pumps up the crowd with a wave of his hand…
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHH WOOO!!
Guy already 4 cheap beers in: I hate this Styles guy!
…and delivers another springboard dropkick, this one from the top rope! Stevens flexes for the crowd, before rolling into a cover…
ONE
TWO
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Mann: Does The Milkman seem a bit different to you, Woodbridge?
Woodbridge: Milkman definitely wants to show off early, he looks like he hasn’t lost a step!
Mann: Maybe even gained one, and it almost feels like he’s being a bit disrespectful of his opponent, don’t you think?
Woodbridge: And what are you insinuating?
Mann: Well, maybe performing in front of a WiR crowd again has him a little more amped than usual! Trying a lot of those high-risk maneuvers early- we’re only a few minutes into this one, folks!
After the Kickout, Stevens signals to the cheering crowd, runs off the ropes, and attempts a wheelbarrow bulldog, but as he pushes himself up, Styles swivels his hips, and Stevens face plants into the mat.
Mann: And Stevens’ showing off cost him there!
Styles knees Stevens in the stomach, before putting his head between the legs, and sets up for the Styles Clash! He can’t lock in Milkman’s arms, and Stevens uses them to push off the mat to sit up above Jericho! Stevens tries throwing a punch at Jericho’s head, but he pivots his plan, and adjusts to deliver a powerbomb! As he releases, Stevens adjusts his body and manages to mitigate some of the damage by landing awkwardly on the back foot, stumbling back into the ropes.
Mann: If Styles hit that, it could have spelled an early end for Stevens!
Stevens pulls himself back to his feet using the ropes and charges back in with a clothesline attempt, but Styles sees it coming, grabs the arm and uses it to shift the momentum, and lifts Stevens for a tilt-a-whirl Backbreaker!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Mann: And Styles seems to be in control here.
Woodbridge: Stevens took some early momentum, but Styles has had a counter for everything Stevens has thrown at him.
Styles pulls Stevens up to his feet by the hair, before casually flipping one of Stevens’ arms over his shoulder for a uranage position before holding his arms out to the crowd!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Styles smirks at the boos incoming, and throws Stevens with a t-bone suplex. Once Stevens is planted, Styles stomps the stomach to force him to sit up, before stretching the arms behind for a surfboard stretch!
Styles: I’m a technical wrestler now, assholes!
Mann: Styles slowing things down here, grounding the Milkman
Woodbridge: Not a bad strategy, we saw how The Milkman was in control with a faster pace!
One guy holding up a sign with Goku: WE-LOVE-GOKU! WE-LOVE-GOKU!
Everyone else in the crowd is deafeningly silent
Styles: AND WHAT WOULD GOKU DO HERE, STUPID IDIOT?
Styles breaks his hold and approaches the hard camera ropes to yell at the fan more
Styles: Dragon Ball is overrated trash!
Styles kicks Stevens back to the mat
Styles That one was for you, fucking weeb!
As Stevens once again rises to his feet, Styles punches him and he falls back to the mat, just for Styles to pick him back up, and line up against the ropes, for an irish whip. As Stevens returns to sender, Styles throws him straight up in the air… and football punts him in the chest on the way down!
Styles: Hey weeb guy! This one’s for you too! I saw a Japanese dude do it once!
Styles lifts Stevens up, sets him up with the arms behind the back… and delivers a slow, sloppy [tiger driver], before placing a single foot on the chest, and flexing
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Woodbridge: Well, he didn’t quite get all of it.
Styles takes time to put Stevens in a Camel Clutch.
Mann: And it seems Styles didn’t want to get left out of showing off!
Woodbridge: Well, he certainly nailed Milkman with that kick, but the Tiger Driver left a lot to be desired.
Mann: Styles seems to have control of this match when it’s slowed down, wearing Stevens with this technical wrestling prowess.
Woodbridge, reaching under the desk for a paper bag: Everyone wants to be a hero in front of the first crowd in two years
Styles releases Stevens from the hold by battering him in the back of the head with a forearm, picking him up by the scruff, and bouncing him off the ropes for an Irish whip and hitting him with the kitchen sink! But Stevens wastes no motion, and grabs the leg, turning Styles over for a rollup!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Kickout!
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Woodbridge: He almost got him with that rollup! From out of nowhere!
The Milkman tries to capitalize, but Styles returns the favor with a boot to the stomach.
Styles: I’ll show you to make a damn fool out of me!
Styles hoists Stevens up for a vertical suplex, before taking two steps and chucking him across the top rope! The Milkman bounces off the top rope, makes a deflating noise as the air is forced out of his lungs, and flops down to the floor outside!
Mann: Styles with some kind of inverted lawn-dart maneuver! Woodbridge, do you know what that’s called?
Woodbridge: Nope.
Crowd: BOOOOOO
Styles: Come on, milk boy, you have anything else for me?
Stevens crawls back into the ring, holding onto his ribs, before Styles once again kicks him in the stomach, and applies a chin lock in the ring.
Mann: Styles has found his target! If Stevens can’t breathe, he can’t fight!
Woodbridge: The young Styles showing some veteran instinct here, Mann, if Stevens has the wind knocked out of him, he can’t perform those high-flying moves he was nailing Styles with earlier!
Styles turns to the side, and locks Milkman in a body scissors, using his legs to apply pressure to the ribcage. Stevens tries to use his free legs to push both men closer to the ropes, but can only move them a few feet. Stevens smacks the mat with his free hand, and a guy in the crowd does it to the barricade. Stevens smacks the mat again, and a few more fans join in.
Crowd Smacking the barricade
Stevens pushes towards the ropes again, making more progress. Styles sees this, and releases the hold, grabbing Stevens by the hair with one hand, tights in the other, and pulling him up to his feet.
Styles: You want the ropes so bad, here, have them!
Styles runs over to the ropes with the Milkman, and hurls him between the middle and top rope, dumping him to the outside where he lands with a noticeable thud. Styles follows him to the outside, taking his time to savor the boos of the crowd, before delivering a knee to a rising Milkman, and lifting him for a vertical suplex on the grass! Styles rolls into the ring… and back out again to break the count. Despite the present beating, Stevens once again pulls himself to his feet.
Crowd: YEAAAH
And Styles knees him in the ribs.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOO
Styles rolls Stevens back into the ring before taking a moment to confront the drunk fan who jeered him earlier. After his verbal exchange, Styles delivers a scoop slam to Stevens to keep him down, and the pressure on the body, before sliding into a cover.
ONE
TWO
Kickout!
Mann: Forcing Stevens to exert more energy there on the kick out, after continuing his assault on the ribs. A very solid strategy by Styles in this one.
Styles picks The Milkman up once more and prepares another vertical suplex, but the Milkman slips free! Stevens lands behind Styles, hooks his arms, and goes for a crucifix pin!
ONE
TWO
THRE-
Styles barely escapes! The Milkman wastes no motion as Styles rises back to his feet, bouncing off the hard camera ropes, and forcing Styles to drop back to the mat to avoid a strike. Stevens bounces off the opposite end, and Styles barely avoids him once more, this time with a slide-step that sees him almost lose his balance. Styles tries to save his momentum by charging at Stevens as he bounces off the ropes a third time, but Stevens pulls down the top rope, sending Styles to the apron! Stevens kicks Styles in the knee, before going through the middle rope to meet Styles on the apron. Styles tries to sweep out the leg of the Milkman, knocking himself down to one knee on the attempt, but Stevens jumps over it, and catches Styles with a Calcium Kiss Superkick that sends Styles to the grass below!
Crowd: YEAAAHH
With his foe grounded, Stevens looks to the crowd, positions himself in the middle of the ring, and before Styles can discover where he is, Stevens takes flight, springboarding off the middle rope with an Asai Milksault! On the landing, Stevens’ left knee awkwardly hits the uneven yard, and he visibly grimaces before falling backward.
Mann: And both men are down after that! Stevens with a ferocious comeback attempt, but he may have hurt himself!
Woodbridge: Someone hasn’t been taking care of their lawn.
Stevens hears the air exit the crowd, and pulls himself up, giving them a reassuring thumbs up, before using the leg he landed on to kick Styles in the back of his knee, before throwing him back into the ring. Stevens puts one leg into the ring through the middle rope, before looking into the crowd- and deciding to ascend the turnbuckles instead! The Milkman leaps, and delivers a diving hurricanrana! As Styles tries to roll to the ropes, Stevens uses their good leg to stomp on his chest, before pulling him back to the middle of the ring, and hitting a Standing Milksault! Stevens maintains the cover!
ONE
TWO
THR-
Styles gets a shoulder up!
Woodbridge: And Stevens throwing everything into this assault on Styles, but it still wasn’t enough to put him down!
Crowd: Let’s Go Milk-man! Let’s Go Milk-man!
Stevens picks Styles up, and lifts him onto his shoulders…
Woodbridge: He’s going for the Milky Way!
…But the injured knee can’t hold up the weight, and both men crash to the mat.
Entrance Music begins to play as a small, skinny wrestler in a leather jacket waltzes towards the two downed competitors
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And that’s Raven Van Loupe! Van Loupe is here at Sound Off!
Woodbridge: These two formed an alliance last time we saw them! But will it hold after the time off?
Van Loupe enters the ring, despite the protests of WiR official Tai Ni Wong, and glances at the pair as both try to pull themselves up, Stevens using the ropes, Styles on his own. Van Loupe looks back and forth… before kicking Stevens in the injured knee!
DING DING DING
Babaganoush: And here is your winner…
Van Loupe helps Styles to his feet, and the pair begin to lay the boots on Stevens.
Babaganoush: By disqualification as a result of interference, and striking a WiR official…
Styles takes the knee of the downed Milkman, and lifts it above his head, before thrashing it against the canvas.
Babaganoush: At a time of…
Van Loupe has Styles lift Stevens by the hair once more, before she runs to the ropes, jumps off the second rope, and Styles pushes The Milkman into the cutter.
Babaganoush: Ten minutes and twenty-three seconds…
Styles and Van Loupe stand over Stevens, and Styles prepares to deliver the finishing blow as he signals to the crowd that he is looking for the Styles Clash!
Banaganoush: Tony “The Milkmannnnnn” Stevens!!!!!!
Van Loupe: Are you done?
Van Loupe gives Styles a thumbs up, but as he goes to finish off Stevens, a mighty howl plays over the speakers as a short, scruffy man runs to the ring.
Woodbridge: That’s The Werewolf!
Mann Johnny, A Werewolf, is here! And he’s rushing to the ring!
Styles lets Stevens flop back down to the mat, holding his knee, and turns to face the incoming Werewolf as he slides under the ropes and into the ring. Styles steps before Vna Loupe to intercept, but the fresh Werewolf knocks him off his feet with The Pounce. The Werewolf comes face to face with Van Loupe in the center of the ring!
Crowd: AWOOOOOO
Mann: Pandemonium has broken out in the first match of Sound Off! And the fans are loving it!
Crowd: WE LOVE WERE-WOLF! clap clap clap clap clap WE LOVE WERE-WOLF!
Woodbridge: The Pack Wolf and the Werewolf facing off in the center of the ring!
Mann: And these two have unfinished business! The Lifeblood exists because they took issue with being left behind for signings like Werewolf!
Johnny feints left, before throwing a right jab! The Werewolf unleashes Pack Tactics on Van Loupe! As he stops throwing punches, and signals for another pounce, Styles kips up, and levels the werewolf with a lariat!
Crowd: BOOOOO
Van Loupe and Styles begin to wear down the Werewolf, delivering blow after blow to Johnny as the boos rain from the crowd. Van Loupe delivers a stomp to the knee of The Milkman to keep him down before they and Jericho set up to finish off styles…
When an Italian Flag appears on the video screen, and an absolute guido of an Italian-American, hair dripping with greaseslowly walks out from behind the curtain, wearing a Shohei Ohtani jersey!
…A Shohei Ohtani… New York Mets jersey.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: That’s The Apex! Arturo Stiglione! Stiglione is in the yard!
Stiglione slowly scopes out the scene on his way to the ring, seeing the downed Milkman on the left of the ring, the downed werewolf on the right, and the standing Lifeblood members in the middle. He slowly ascends the stairs and stands across from Van Loupe and Styles.
Wodbridge: And The Apex, not a fan of Johnny, a very terse relationship between these two.
Apex: Hell ova job ya done hea’
Van Loupe: If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stand aside, and maybe we won’t hurt you.
Apex: Dont’cha mind me, just monitoring the situation.
Styles pulls Van Loupe aside, and the two have an impromptu conference, before nodding along, and continuing their attack on Werewolf.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
With The Lifeblood’s backs turned Styles looks down at his fist. He looks down at the blue and orange he’s adorned in, and loosens up his arm. He points to the back of Styles, who senses the crowd rising, and turns around… to be met with a spinning backfist!!
Crowd: YEEEAAAHHHH
Mann: Styles has made his choice! And he chooses to stand against The Lifeblood!
Van Loupe hears his body hit the canvas, and turns around, to be met with the sight of a downed Styles! The Apex takes off his Mets jersey… to reveal an Angels jersey! The Werewolf is back on his feet, and he and the Apex come face to face! Van Loupe rises back up at the wrong time, as the two share a nod, and deliver a double clothesline! Seeing the situation turn against him, Styles slinks to the outside, and grabs a chair from under the ring, before sneaking back in behind the Werewolf and Apex, who have turned to the hard camera. Styles raises the chair to strike…
...And gets blasted by a Calcium Kiss from The Milkman!
Crowd: WOOOOOO
The three faces are all back on their feet in the middle of the ring, standing tall! As the three begin to celebrate…
“It’s a Psychobilly Freakout!
Mann: That’s the music of Mason Saunders! But where is he?
Saunders’ music plays, but the entranceway remains empty.
Woodbridge: He’s behind us, Mann! He just jumped the barricade!
Mann: But he’s outnumbered, Woodbridge, both his allies are down!
Undeterred by the numbers disadvantage, Saunders slides behind the faces, and as they recognize the trap, Saunders is already in the ring! The Werewolf approaches first and throws a jab that almost seems to bounce off the chin of Saunders. Saunders simply stares, and when the Werewolf tries a second one, Saunders swipes it aside with a tree trunk arm, before launching into action and dropping the Werewolf with a right hook, which catches the Werewolf cleanly on the jaw, who slumps backward onto the canvas. The Milkman tries to charge to his aid, but Saunders delivers a pump kick to put him back on the canvas. The Apex tries to make a move while Saunders’ back is turned facing Stevens, but he fails to do any damage and is swiftly thrown aside. Saunders drops the Milkman again, before turning around to face Apex… who turns around, and flees the ring as fast as possible!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Mann: And Stiglione, getting out of dodge as soon as he can!
Woodbridge: And turning tail and running, Stiglione is out of here!
As Stiglione flees up the entranceway, the rest of the Lifeblood begins to pick themselves up. Saunders puts the Werewolf pack down on the canvas with a scoop powerslam, and boots him out of the ring. The Lifeblood stand united, and face the hard camera, Stiglione and Werewolf removed, and the Milkman down on the opposite end of the ring. JZ ascends to the second rope of the left turnbuckle, Van Loupe to the right, and the three all pose for the hard camera!
Mann: And the Lifeblood, although not victorious in the match, is victorious here in the aftermath!
Woodbridge: But wait, The Milkman is trying to get back up!
Mann: Stevens of course, left for the picking, as other members of The Horde are all the way on the other side of the Farm preparing for their match later!
Stevens struggles to pull himself up to his feet, knee buckling under him. Saunders perks up, and stops his pose. Stevens staggers to his feet, and before he can get very far, Saunders turns, and with blinding speed nails Stevens with a disgusting lariat that nearly takes his head off!
Woodbridge: And the Milk has gone spoiled.
The Lifeblood circle the downed Milkman like vultures, and Van Loupe drops to one knee, and picks up the Milkman’s head by the hair! JZ gets down as well, and the two strike a pose, with Milkman’s body as the centerpiece!
Mann: A statement made, by the Lifeblood
Woodbridge: To me, Mann, it looks like the statement was made by Saunders, Van Loupe, and JZ just picked up the scraps!
Van Loupe, holding up Milkman to the Camera victoriously: Take a look, WiR, this is the future! We are the Lifeblood of this company, and don’t forget that!
The camera pans out to JZ and Van Loupe celebrating over Milkman’s body, while Saunders stares from behind, before fading out to a commercial break.
Javier: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL, with a 20 minute time limit. Your referee for this contest is Mia So Hung. Introducing first, from Montreal, Canada, weighing in at 119 pounds...... GIGI♥ V!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
A significantly smaller but incredibly loud section of the crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Music begins to swell in the background, and the crowd continues their jeering (and occasional unbridled simping) until Gigi steps out, running her hands down her body to the lewd Ashnikko verse.
Mann: Gigi here, surrounded by her legion of fans, who are then surrounded by a legion of people who absolutely despise her. As it should be here in WiR.
Gigi saunters to the ring, taking vaguely suggestive selfies with her ravenous fans on the front row, and generally seeming uncaring about the forthcoming match.
Woodbridge: And given her successes recently, it’s gonna be easy to overlook a competitor like Li Xiao, which very easily could prove fatal.
Gigi steps into the ring, as Javier starts his announcing again.
Javier: And her opponent, from Hong Kong, weighing in at 105 pounds... LI XIAO!!!
A unfamiliar metal song blasts out from the speakers, and a rather familiar hyperactive martial artist bounces out from behind the curtain!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Xiao charges down the ramp with a head of steam, hyped and ready to fight.
Mann: Xiao has some of the most devastating offense in this company, and if she’s able to keep momentum, it could very well shatter Gigi’s plans of making a statement here!
Woodbridge: Yeah, sure, but Xiao’s a tag team specialist first and foremost. She comes in to deal damage and then gets out before she takes too much abuse.
Xiao hops into the ring, and the referee pats both competitors down, before gesturing for the bell.
DING DING DING
In an interesting turn of events, Gigi and Li Xiao start off with a collar-and-elbow tie up in the center of the ring. Gigi takes quick advantage of her height and weight advantage to gain leverage and force Li Xiao backwards into the ropes.
Mann: Gigi starting off with the basics here, knowing Li Xiao is nothing if not an incredibly explosive fighter.
Woodbridge: That’s right, Xiao wrestles like my grandpa used to make moonshine, god rest his soul!
Gigi sets herself, and when Xiao tries to push off the ropes and get Gigi off, Gigi directs the momentum into a modified biel, throwing Li Xiao across the ring! Gigi takes a moment to smirk and pose for the fans - a mistake, as Xiao rolls through the throw and hits the ropes on the opposite side of the ring!
Mann: Incredible strength from Gigi!
Gigi turns around into a sprinting palm strike from Xiao, staggering backwards into the ropes yet again, and Xiao follows up with a big kick to the gut! Gigi’s doubled over, and Xiao drops her with a DDT!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s fired up, and she’s quite possibly looking to end this match before it even gets started!
Xiao with the cover!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out right at 2, and rolls up, obviously shocked and dazed. The crowd in attendance is split, with the wrestling fans excited to see Gigi on the ropes, and the Gigi fans absolutely in shambles. Xiao is up quickly, as Gigi staggers to her feet - Xiao hits the ropes, springboards, and catches Gigi with a beautiful headscissors!
Crowd: WOOOOOO!
Gigi rolls through, runs the ropes, and comes back with a head of steam! Xiao dodges a clothesline attempt, shoves Gigi to the other rope, and gets ready for the comeback - Gigi catches the ropes! Xiao charges in to press the advantage, and eats an officially branded Gigi♥ boot to the face! Xiao is absolutely rocked, staggering backwards, and this time Gigi takes the initiative and absolutely levels Xiao with a clothesline! Xiao spirals to the mat, and Gigi blows a kiss to the fans in attendance!
Gigi: I am your future champion, and this is the match I’m booked in?
Gigi catches Xiao with a boot to the back of the head! Xiao rolls over, and Gigi drops a knee onto her throat, before going for the cover!
1!
2!
Xiao muscles out of the pin, clutching her head!
Woodbridge: We got two high fliers here, these women make a livin’ out of dodging attacks. Anything that lands here is going to be devastating!
Mann: And right now, it looks like Xiao is barely conscious after those blows to the head!
Gigi gets up, and winks at her fans in attendance and watching live throughout the world.
Crowd: BOOOOOO!/YAAAAAAAAAAY!
Gigi saunters over to Xiao, and plays up the boot she’s about to give - SMALL PACKAGE! SMALL PACKAGE!
1!
2!
Gigi kicks out, and her mood instantly changes. Xiao is staggering to her feet, and takes a full on slap to the face!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH!
Mann: What a slap from Gigi, obviously assisted by her official Gigi♥ gloves, sponsored by Fairtex!
Woodbridge: Gigi’s pissed now, and you could hear that slap all the way in Los Angeles!
Xiao clutches her face, and Gigi follows up with a huge kick to the gut! Xiao falls to one knee, and Gigi finishes the trifecta with a roundhouse to the head!
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao collapses to the mat!
Mann: And Xiao’s down! What a kick!
Woodbridge: That kick nearly took her head off, Shay! I don’t know if she’s even conscious down there!
Gigi’s prepared, and is looking to finish this, climbing to the top rope! Xiao is flat on her back on the mat, and Gigi takes the leap, flipping forwards with a swanton! Xiao is still conscious, though, and rolls away in the nick of time, leaving Gigi high and dry!
Crowd: YAAAAAAY! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO! KUNG PAO!
Mann: I... feel like that’s problematic, somehow.
Woodbridge: Nah, ‘sfine, don’t worry about it.
Xiao grabs for the ropes, pulling herself to her feet, but is obviously still dazed from the kick!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s hurt!
Mann: You see this a lot in Li Xiao singles matches - she’s got an incredible offense, but she’s fragile at best in-ring!
Gigi is holding her back, and glares at Xiao in frustration!
Gigi: You were supposed to stay down! it was going on Tiktok!
Gigi charges forward, ready to avenge her mistake, but takes a knee to the gut! Gigi staggers for a second, only to get a chop to the neck! She’s reeling! Xiao with a forearm! Xiao with a elbow strike!
Crowd: OHHHHHHHHHH!
Xiao takes a step backwards, and lets out a KIAI, before charging forward with a roundhouse - NO! SCHOOLBOY FROM GIGI!
1!
2!
Xiao kicks out at 2.6, rolls to her feet, and is immediately back on the offensive, catching Gigi with a kick to the gut!
Mann: Xiao was going for her trademark flurry of blows, and that roundhouse could very well have ended this match!
Woodbridge: Sure, but it doesn’t look like Gigi’s in a better spot right now anyway!
Xiao measures, as Gigi slowly gets back to her feet, and steps through the ropes, stalking her opponent! Gigi’s up, and Xiao leaps onto the ropes, going for a springboard - GIGI HOOKS HER LEG!
Crowd: BOOOOO!
Xiao loses her footing, and falls neck-first onto the ropes, before collapsing to the outside of the ring!
Mann: Gigi with a lightning-quick reversal!
Woodbridge: Xiao might be seriously hurt down there!
Gigi regains some of her confidence, and gives the crowd an innocent smile, completely ignoring the competitor she might have seriously injured. As the count reaches six, Gigi finally springs into action, rolling out of the ring, and grabbing Xiao by the hair!
Gigi: That’s what you get for ruining my moment!
Gigi pulls Xiao up to her feet, and throws her into the ring. Gigi rolls in as Xiao fights to one knee, then to her feet! Gigi smirks, and stands in front of Xiao, posing for the crowd -
WHAM!
Xiao with a JKD backfist!
Woodbridge: River City Knockout! That’s Biff’s move! What a moment to strike!
Gigi is staggered - falls to one knee - then gets back up, just in time to eat THE CRANE KICK
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Woodbridge: CRANE KICK! CRANE KICK!
Gigi is down! Xiao is staggering after landing the crane kick, and collapses to a knee herself! Xiao takes a moment to collect herself, then throws herself into the cover, hooking both legs!
1!
2!
3!
NO!
Mia hits the three count, and Xiao rolls off, sure she’s won the match, but Gigi’s right hand is on the ropes!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mia explains to Xiao, who is obviously frustrated, but nods. She takes a moment to kick Gigi’s wrist, knocking her hand off the ropes, before climbing to the top rope! Xiao steels herself - leaps - corkscrews through the air!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s Wing!
Gigi gets her knees up! Xiao lands back-first onto Gigi’s knees! Xiao bounces halfway across the ring, clutching her back and neck, and lands on her chest!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mann: And Gigi has just enough in the tank to get that counter in!
Gigi, with what seems like massive effort, rolls over, before crawling towards Xiao, who seems to be completely out of it. She crawls over Xiao, with a knowing smirk, before hooking her legs around Xiao’s head!
Mann: Gigi looking for the Paywall, this modified figure four choke!
Woodbridge: And half the audience is looking at something else right now.
Gigi torques Xiao’s already injured neck back, cutting off all airflow! Xiao struggles for a moment, but is trapped in the center of the ring! She crawls forward, but Gigi leans back, torquing her neck even further! Xiao swings back with an elbow, then another, but her arm is caught by Gigi’s free hand! After a moment of struggling, Xiao finally relents, and taps in the center of the ring!
DING DING DING!
Javier: And your winner, at a time of 7:53.... GIGI!
Gigi rolls out of the ring, obviously the worse for wear, clutching her neck after the crane kick to the skull!
Mann: And Gigi with a hard-fought win after these two threw everything at each other in a absolutely brutal short match!
Woodbridge: Xiao’s not a singles competitor on her own, but she showed just how brutal her brand of offense is when it needs to be - if Biff has the same resilience he used to have the tag division might need to be on notice!

Hey Florida!
My wife and I live in northern Florida and are planning a road trip along Florida's east coast, starting from Fort Lauderdale and ending in St. Augustine. We're looking to explore and get a good feel for the different cities and towns along the way since we're considering a potential move. We're hoping to gather insights and recommendations from fellow Floridians.
We already have a few places in mind, but we would love to hear your suggestions on the best spots to experience the atmosphere of the east coast. We're particularly interested in areas that would be appealing to young professionals, are affordable, and preferably with good access to beaches and a night life (although we don't mind driving).
We came up with an initial itinerary and would love your feedback:

1. Fort Lauderdale
2. Delray Beach
3. West Palm Beach
4. Vero Beach
5. Melbourne
6. Cocoa
7. New Smyrna Beach
8. Daytona Beach
9. Ormond Beach

We're open to adding more stops along the way or modifying our itinerary based on any recommendations. If anyone has any tips on great cities, neighborhoods, etc., we would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you in advance for your advice and recommendations!

[←Chapter 51] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 53→]
Sorore’s current state could best be described as ‘alarmed’ with considerable regret for good measure. She had entrusted the mage with the knife that she had made, and found it had gone to disaster in short order.
Of course, no such rational analysis came through her mind as she lay on the floor of the church. The shaking and rattling had been so bad her mind had mostly been preoccupied by the grim vision of crushing stones. When the heat and quake had finally abated, she found herself among frightened children and shattered glass. Surprisingly, most of the injuries were fairly minor, given the immensity of what had just happened but still, people glanced up at the warped ceiling with fear.
People slowly staggered to their feet, Niche, having been thrown some ways away, joining them. Outside, there were still screams and the clash of battle, but it seemed smaller than before. Frare took her by the arm, looking around and trying to blink away the dizziness that had taken him to the ground. He began to tug her in the direction of the front door, much to her confusion.
“Not there!” she gasped, “why would we go out there?”
“That’s where…” he said, coughing violently, “that’s where she- where she is.”
“Who? What do you mean?”
“Aya went out, during the chaos,” he said, “Lillian too.”
“We can’t help them now,” she insisted, “did you hit your head? Think about what’s out there Frare! Who knows what the mage conjured up?”
“Only one way to find out,” he said, before peeling away from her and taking off down the centre aisle.
Sorore took one step forward to follow him, yet fear and disorientation held her back from taking another. It wasn’t long however before Frare returned, shaking his head.
“I don’t know what happened out there, it’s like…” he said, eyes crossed in confusion, “I dunno how to describe it. But she’s not out there, at least I don’t think she is.”
“Where else could she have gone?” cried Sorore.
“I don’t know,” said Frare, a little indignant, “I was knocked down. I could barely see.”
“Well, we need to find her,” said Sorore, gesturing at the church to drive the point home.
She looked around the church, trying to figure out where the girl might’ve gone.
“She couldn’t have gone out the window, they’re far too narrow, even for her,” she said, “and you just said she wasn’t anywhere near the front, so she must either be in the hospice or the roof.”
Frare was already moving behind her to examine what remained of the overturned beds and curtains. Many of the patients had been returned with much groans and protest to a prone position, but none of them had a young, dark haired girl attending. In under two minutes, it was clear that Aya was not in the alcove that housed the wounded.
Before the twins could make it to the side door, Niche managed to find them. He was covered with dust, and a significant cut on his head lent a stream of blood to coat his brow.
“What happened?” he said, words coming rather slowly.
“Aya’s gone,” said Sorore, moving towards the door without stopping to greet him.
“What?!” the formerly fuzzy quality of his eyes exploding with anxiety, “where?!”
“Not outside. I checked. Not in the hospice either,” said Frare.
His muddled eyes suddenly flashed bright.
“You did what?!” Niche spat, “you went outside?! How long have I been- don’t ever do that again. You could’ve been attacked! You could’ve been killed! How many close calls do you need before you realise that this is not some childish game?!”
Sorore drew back - Niche could get emotional at times, especially when he talked about duty, especially in the context of his faith. Genuine anger was rare, and a full-on fury like the one he was currently displaying was new. Before he could see much more however, Lillian drew near, having returned from the outside with a stony expression.
“Where is she?” she said, with a grim calm that spoke of devastating consequences should the information be withheld.
“She’s not outside,” repeated Frare, with a slight tremor to his voice, “not with the patients, so she must’ve gone to the catacombs.”
“Or the roof,” added Sorore quickly.
Lillian took off without a word, striding quickly towards the side door and throwing it open. Niche, stumbling a little, followed behind, gesturing for the two of them to follow. They did as much as they could with their shorter length, barely managing to keep their guardians in sight up the stairs.
The church roof was now plain in view, with the fog blowing away to reveal its ruined slates. The cloud banks were now breaking up over the distant trees and village outskirts. They could see the moon light illuminating the fighting below. To her surprise, it looked as if there were far, far less creatures than before.
Perhaps taking that as some token of good fortune, Lillian started forwards. At the far end of the roof, knelt Aya by a crumpled mass of black cloth. Sorore started as she recognized the uniform of the mage and the sleeping cat spirit curled in his lap. The sound of the wind whistling through the trees and over the roof was the only thing to break the silence.
Either the mage was in an exhausted stupor after doing… whatever it is he had done, or perhaps the process had killed him, for he lay motionless and without voice.
Aya at this point had noticed Lillian walking towards her, and perhaps unconsciously took a few steps back. The older woman grabbed at the girl’s wrist, eliciting a gasp from Aya.
“Do I need to put chains on you?” Lillian said without humour, “you were supposed to stay in the church, where it was safe.”
“It’s safe now,” Aya protested,” look, look out there!”
She swept her arm across the rest of the valley and the fighting below. Lillian’s brows were nit, her face crushed in anger, but she did gaze out toward the scene. Still, whatever she found there did little to quell her fury, and she did not release Aya.
The twins took the opportunity to make their way to the far wall and peer over the crenelations. The view yielded much the same as before, and indeed, it seemed like the soldiers were winning handedly. Sorore and Frare watched as the remaining flailing horrors were pinned to the ground with spear and stick, and hacked to death by cold steel. In addition, Sorore realised that the cold fear that had struck her to the core was now abated almost entirely.
“He did that,” she said, “I saw it, I know it. You did too, didn’t you? You were outside Lillian, you saw the fire. It killed the monsters, you saw it. He saved us.”
“It did not save us,” Lillian hissed, “look again, young lady. Do you think all the corpses down there are of the monsters?”
She pointed with her gauntlet down below, where great black marks had been gouged in the hillside. Sorore could make out the twisted remains of bodies, some horribly deformed, some still adorned in armour and clutching weapons. Her stomach turned, and Aya’s expression faltered as she stuttered a half-hearted response.
“We were lucky it didn’t burn down the church instead. Maybe it couldn’t control it, maybe it ran out of power before it could do so. All that I know is that we cannot trust it.”
“He has a name, Lillian,” Aya said, starring the paladin in the eyes.
With a sound of disgust, Lillian handed her over to Niche’s grip, and raised her sword.
“Stop!” Aya gasped, her face blanching as she realised what the paladin was about to do.
“This thing is dangerous, and so is this creature that wears the skin of an animal,” she said, “I will not tolerate his presence, for your safety and ours. Not only that, he’s infected you with corrupt ideas. Unacceptable.”
Sorore felt her breath still as she looked at the glinting edge of the blade. As much as she had her doubts about Efrain, as much as the words of Lillian comported with church teaching, she still had misgivings. The man had attempted to help them, perhaps out of self interest maybe, but so did merchants. Her father was a merchant, and so were many of her family and friends back in Erratz. And it didn’t seem right, to strike this man down when he was so obviously incapacitated.
She began to try and articulate these thoughts, to provide some defence, perhaps to seek some kind of alternative to execution. Lillian was in no mood to hear, however, and prepared a thrust to the heart of the black cloth. Then Frare was there, oh, so brave brother, stepping in between the mage and the paladin.
“No,” he said, planting his feet on the ground and squaring his shoulders, “you’re going to kill someone who isn’t even an enemy, and is unconscious besides?”
Lillian did bring the sword down in response, but only to grab his shoulder, and send him stumbling down the slope of the roof.
“He’s right,” said Sorore, seizing upon the moment, “what about your honour?”
“My task is to keep you safe,” said Lillian, “honour means nothing if it compromises my mission.”
The sword had reached the height of its arc, Sorore trying to think of any excuse to stay the blade. Aya pulled in breath and screamed at the paladin to stop. Frare peeled himself off from the slates and sprinted to catch the blade.
The thing that ultimately ended up stopping it, however, was no action from the children. Through the hills and village, came the sound of a long horn blast. Lillian, temporarily distracted from her grim task, looked out to the west. In the distance was a line of burning torches and glinting steel spears. Her frown deepened, the sword edge touching the roof as she craned her neck. With a final dawn of realisation in her eyes, her jaw tightened as she spoke words through clenched teeth.
“Two days,” she grunted in disgust, “the liar.”
All eyes on the roof of the church turned towards the new column of troops. Frare managed to put himself squarely before the paladin before her attention turned back to the mage at her feet.
“It needs to be done,” said Lillian, frustration audible in her voice, “you can either get out of the way, or I can move you. You do not have a say in this.”
Frare didn’t reply, only raised his fist and bent his knees, ready to spring or defend, whatever came first. Lillian reached out with her gauntlet, fully prepared to repeat the previous engagement. As another horn blast echoed off the mountains, Sorore finally found her answer in the minutiae of church hierarchy.
“Neither do you, Lillian,” she said, stumbling over her words in her haste, “nor Niche. You’re beneath the rank of commander, you’re not a full light-lord. Therefore, if you execute the mage, who is his charge, then you will have committed insubordination. He could use that as a pretext to… do all sorts of things.”
In truth, Sorore had very little idea of what kinds of punishments there were for insubordination, but they were probably quite nasty.
It seemed that assumption was correct, or at least enough to stay her blade for a moment longer. Lillian’s expression was one of confusion bordering on disbelief that Sorore had pulled rank on her. When pain and realisation came into her eyes, Sorore knew that she’d hit the mark.
The riders from the western mountains began to ride up the hill, gaining speed and lowering spears. The creatures outside the blackstone wall, no longer as numerous as they once were, twisted and screamed at the new opponents. The resulting clash was muffled by distance, but it was enough to tell Lillian that her time was up.
“Lillian, please,” said Sorore, “mage or no, I don’t think he’s evil. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to trust him. Let the commander choose what to do with him. Besides, he’s not of any harm right now, right?”
All three children nodded emphatically in agreement.
Lillian’s face was stricken, looking back and forth between the fresh host, and the party of five on the rooftop. Finally, her sword point lowered all the way to the roof, as she let out a heavy sigh.
“Are you serious?” said Niche, “we’ll never get a better chance.”
“We need…” she said, begrudging every word, “what do you want me to say, Niche? The man’s a threat, yes. He’s also unconscious. He might well be the commander’s charge, and he… he hasn’t harmed the children yet. Not directly. What am I supposed to- I don’t know what to do.”
The admission stunned Niche, enough to let Aya wriggle out of his grasp and run forward. She crouched by the body of the fallen mage, turning back to look with unbridled defiance at the paladins. Lillian’s shoulders sank and she passed a hand over her eyes, covering them in shadow.
“Niche…” she said, exhausted, “just… just take the children down.”
Niche’s face blurred between anger, disbelief, stolid determination, before finally relenting to his sister-in-arm’s request.
“Here’s what’s going to happen,” she said, drawing herself up, “I will not strike the mage, you have my word. But you are all going down into the church, and you are going to stay there, until we give you leave to go. Do you understand?”
Even Frare nodded, recognizing the concession made, but still backed by a steely undercurrent.
All three of them were led away by Niche, whose face had settled into an inscrutable mask. The last thing Sorore saw of Lillian before passing the doorway was her sheathing her blade. A couple of steps down, Sorore flinched at a distant yell of frustration. When Lillian joined them in the main hall of the church, none elected to comment on the bloody knuckles she held in her other hand.
The rest was almost routine, in an odd kind of way. The defenders, invigorated by the sudden reinforcement, began to hoot and holler as the last creatures were butchered. Ladders were thrown over the wall, make-shift, but well made enough to support the weight of armoured knights clambering up.
At the head of the company, fully dressed in gleaming armour, with the brass shoulder plate of command, Naia removed his helm. His dark hair shone with sweat, which he wiped from his forehead using a bare hand. The contingent came into the church, where Damafelce and several of the captains rushed forward to greet him. As the bodies of the slain were collected and laid out in the church grounds, villagers and soldiers alike began to crowd around the commander.
“You all did well,” he said, raising his voice, “and I must apologise for arriving late.”
His soldiers gave wry smiles in response, knowing that he’d ridden his troops as hard as he could. The smile Naia offered in response was stretched if knowing, Sorore noticing the bags under his eyes.
“Well then, ladies and gentlemen of Albion. You have carried yourselves with great dignity with bravery to match. Your homes still stand today because of it, and now you have the chance to return. I must confer with my captains.”
With that, the vast majority of villagers began to filter out toward the town, speaking words of praise and thanks as they did so. The paladins stood with characteristic dark expressions, perhaps anticipating another conflict in the near future. Damafelce gave a clipped report, mostly losses and a broad overview of how the battle had been resolved. Three dozen villagers, half that many knights, a significant blow to their force.
“I expected worse when I saw the fog,” he said, “your performance was exemplary.”
The captains nodded, a handful offering claps on the back to the Hebeenian knight. For a moment, Sorore thought that the great calamity brought by the mage might go impossibly unmentioned.
“Well, there is one person here that deserves more credit, I think,” she said, grown sheepish.
“Oh really?” Naia said, one eyebrow raised, “and where might he be, then?”
“Commander,” said Lillian, stepping into the circle, “we need to have a word with you. Now.”
At her glare, the rest of the villagers made excuses and scampered away, while the captains traded unfavourable looks at the pair.
“Ah,” said Naia, “I see we have quite the story to tell. Damafelce, you stay, the rest of you are dismissed to see to clean up and recover, as best you can. The knights of the Alonshaze will work with you to see this done. There will be a morning brief later.”
“Now,” he continued, after seeing them off, “you obviously have something that needs to be said. Out with it.”
Damafelce issued another report, of the mage’s project over the last few days. With the additions of Sorore’s lessons, and their experience down in the crypt, the picture became clearer. When Damafelce described how the battle came to a surprising and fiery end, Naia held up his hand.
“Well,” he said, eyes glittering with what looked like amusement, “he was certainly not lying about his power being dampened.”
“That’s all you have to take from this?” said an aghast Lillian.
“Oh, I perfectly understand your complaints,” he said, “you believe he’s a threat to the children. I would argue that his actions prove otherwise, at least so long as we hold his self-interest. Besides, any of us could harm the children if we were so inclined, that’s not unique.”
“Commander, you sound as if you’re suggesting we overlook this,” said Lillian, her eyes narrowing.
“Yes. Not forgetting, mind you. But ignoring it for the time being, anyhow,” he said.
“Absolutely not,” she said, “I will not let you-”
“You are not in the position to be making demands, paladin,” said Naia, with a surprising force.
He went on to explain how he had ridden west and up, past the foothills and into the mountain passes. It didn’t take him long to find the road leading to the mountain fortress of the Alonshaze. What he’d found when he’d finally reached it was dire.
Sorore had remembered the walls and towers of the outer wall, the monastery-style church and its library, and the keep, half-carved into the face of a sheer escarpment. She could not believe the commander’s account of its ruin, how the gate had been sundered, how the outerwall largely lay in rubble overflowing into the pass it guarded.
“What’s more,” he continued, “Ryzea is missing, whether dead, or gone on some hunt, none are sure, not even the other commanders.”
Lillian’s face fell at the news, and Sorore felt her heart ache in her chest. She’d only known the massive man with snow white locks for a short time. He’d been blunt, some would say almost crude, but his refreshing honesty and wisdom of ages had charmed her. What’s more, he’d seemed immovable, unshakable, due to his harsh experience and his physical bulk. And now he was dead? That was difficult to conceptualise, let alone believe.
“Half the knights rode to our aid, the others stayed behind to salvage and secure what they could,” Naia continued, “some will continue on to reinforce us on our way to Angorrah, a way of which I will choose.”
He sighed, and shook his head as he looked the two paladins dead in their faces.
“I have been lax over enforcing my rank, because, firstly, I respect the light lords a great deal, and secondly, I believed it was best for order. But there comes a point where I must remind you it was I who was chosen to supervise this mission. Lady Aya’s coming has been a surprise to us all, and complicated things, but that does not change who gives the orders. The next time I have to bring this up, it will be a formal reprimand. Do you understand?
Lillian’s face had gone from white to shame-filled red, though she said nothing. The air was thick with barely repressed outrage, held back by the presence of technical correctness, and two dozen knights standing behind their commander.
“Then,” Lillian said, forcing her voice to be calm, “what of the mage?”
“You will leave him to me,” said Naia, smiling a thin, humourless smile.
[←Chapter 51] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 53→]

[←Chapter 50] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 52→]
The first sensation that came to him was the gentle lapping of something cool around his legs. The feeling in question had an almost kindly character to it. He let that sensation carry him through the rivers of muddled consciousness, thought slowly emerging.
The first question was a pressing, if quite basic one.
Was he?
It dominated his mind, filling it to the brim as he asserted his existence. He certainly did exist, that he was fairly sure of - what was considering the question, if nothing indeed existed? So he must exist, but in exactly what mode or medium he wasn’t exactly sure. All he knew was of himself, drifting along a slurry of thought, with something cool lapping at his legs.
So, then if that question was, at least for the time being, answered, who was he?
He strained at the boundaries of his empty mind, and found nothing - no scrap nor iota of recollection or memory.
He gave up, and left himself to drift for an indeterminate time.
The third question, which he hoped might be a little easier to answer - where was he?
He opened something with effort, and something bright streamed in. ‘Eyes’. That’s what he had opened, and the streaming thing was ‘light’. It wasn’t the usual kind, at least he thought so, although he couldn’t exactly remember what the ‘usual’ kind was. It was soft, gentle, not so much ‘streaming’ in, but laid down on the surface of his vision like gossamer.
As his vision resolved, he became aware of what lay… in front of him? Above him? Directionality was a little fuzzy. What he did experience was blurred tones of orange, red, blue and dark purple, mixing together in splashes and strokes. The ultimate effect was something like a gradual gradient, with uncountable tiny dots letting forth that soft light.
Ah.
Starlight.
He was looking upwards then, with a sky full of stars and colour above. Again, there was that definite sense of the unusual, that this was not what skies were ‘supposed’ to look like. And again, he couldn’t quite remember what the ‘usual’ sky was to contrast. Something deep within told him that he’d seen many skies, or potentially the same sky many times, and it did not look like this.
His body, light as a feather, experienced no strain as he sat up. Once more, the unusual feeling, and once more, no usual feelings to compare it to. His legs were submerged into dark waters, which rose and fell around him slowly. Cool, but not painful or irritatingly cold, it stretched out with only the merest ripple into the horizon. Below him, yes it must have been ‘below’, was a fine black sand that gently sloped into the ocean.
So that was what was forward, now what about behind?
He turned something, his ‘head’ he seemed to recall, and found much of the same. Another sea, although this one was made out of the black sand instead of the black water. The dunes too stretched to the horizon and beyond, with the stars vanishing behind them.
So, where was he then? Evidently ‘here’, wherever here was. Now, he was certain that he’d been somewhere else before, but had no way of knowing where nor how long ago it’d been. Had he been ‘here’ before? Perhaps. There was a sense of familiarity to the place.
He stood with the merest effort, black grains cascading down to join their siblings. One foot after another sank into the damp sand and soon he’d left the imprint of his body long behind. The stars, nor the sea, nor the sand seemed to change character or position as he walked.
Onward. Onward. Onward, along what he thought was a straight line into the far distance.
It was some time later when he stopped to take a glance around, and found nothing behind him. Perhaps he’d barely moved at all, and the imprint had merely been washed away by the gentle waves, or perhaps it was too far into the distance to see. There was nothing before him either, merely the exact same sand, water, and stars. There was no lightening or darkening of the endless sky, no change in the positions of the constellations, merely the black desert, eternal for all he knew.
Perhaps no time had passed at all, and all the movement was merely inside his mind.
The water flowed over his feet as he walked at its edge, trying to discern matters of who, where, what, when, why? Perhaps he was nobody, perhaps this place was nowhere, and perhaps there was no real reason to be here other than… being here. It was all rather confusing and any time he seemed to be getting close to an answer it stole away.
Ultimately, when all the questions were gone, there was only the walk, one step, two step, across the sand.
He tried to count the steps and got lost somewhere around fifty thousand. He tried to gauge whether he was ‘hungry’, or ‘tired’. Those were things, he thought he knew, that were supposed to happen after a while. If he was remembering correctly, such things seemed to have little sway here. Hence, time passed, for him if not the world, and he found himself walking onwards.
He seemed to remember a concept of ‘day’ and ‘night’, a brightening of the darkening used to tell time. But the light was always the same here, an ethereal twilight stuck between the two. There had been something else, however, that he was sure of, that indicated the passage of night and day.
It took him another couple thousand steps before he finally had it. Sun and Moon, that had been it, hadn’t it? They were… circular, that he was pretty sure of, and one had been warm, and the other cooler, and smaller. The moon was the former, and the sun was the latter, or maybe the other way around?
New thoughts shelved for the moment, he continued on his path to places unknown. It took his fancy to turn left and wander across the dunes with the ocean to his back. Up and down, up and down, he trudged across the hills and troughs of the dunes. Yet, when he glanced back from time to time, the ocean always seemed to be the same approximate distance. He kept at it for a while, trying to see if there was any indication of distance being gained.
It was a consummate failure. The sea was still there, its lapping waters calling to his back.
Once more, he found himself at that endless shore, and in the far distance, both touchable yet incomprehensibly distant, hung a pale circle.
‘Moon’.
He remembered that, at least.
The sea had changed, gone from bare ripples to a smooth mirror. The darkness underneath its surface had deepened, something stirring beneath. It was reaching for him, no longer be beckoning, with a hunger that belied its apparent calmness. The moon hung low to touch the sea and where they met, a black shadow pressed against the interstice.
From that shadow a voice ripped across the stilled waters, prying against his ears. The worlds were fashioned out of something sharper than any blade, darker than the night sky, peeling reality with harsh syllables.
“PAIN,” it said, over and over, a drum sounded out the beat of a wild and wounded heart.
The water had crept up around him while he stared, small waves brushing just below his knees. The shadow against the moon grew great and terrible, half submerged, half silhouette. The character of the thing was impossible to make out, with only the vaguest resemblance to a horrible flower. Elements of it unfolded like petals with a luminosity that shattered the twilight of the desert.
There was a gaze, or perhaps a multitudes of directed lines of intention that intersected solely on him. He was dissected, without consideration of dignity or privacy, everything perceived and understood. The waters before him parted, drawn back like bare cloth and he saw the true scale of the thing.
It underlay the bottom of the world, an incomprehensible mass of tangled roots and mad thoughts spreading through every deep place and high recess. All merged, all twisted with no end nor beginning, and deeper, deeper still, a baleful light shining as a furious star. It pummelled his perception, tore at what little memory or identity remained, coiling and snaking those hateful roots through his very soul.
He began to slip, pulled as inexorably as gravity pulled one downard without pity or reprieve. He was a grim prize, an unknowing creature that had walked into reach of the mind flower. The waters rising, he attempted to summon a pathetic protest, to deny the fate which had been chosen for him. Such defences were swept aside and crushed with unceremonious ease, as the waters rose, and rose, and rose. He felt the first touch of the thing, uncountable mental fingers groping, and having found their target within him, closing in an impossible grip.
The scream was high and hideous, an echo of a thousand languages calling out in incomprehensible fury. His own soul began to crackle in tandem with a pain so furious it drowned every other sensation. All of it, the scream, the water, the faint pressure of the moonlight, blurred into the chaotic static. A rent in reality was beneath him, around him, the beach vanishing into the distance. He was falling into a void, where nothing and no one could reach.
The dread certainty of utter destruction was upon him. Whatever impression he’d left upon existence would be washed away, mere grains of sand drawn into the depths of the sea, never to be seen nor known by anyone nor anything.
But before that fate was sealed with oblivion, something pulsed out across the darkness. Something high and pure and beautiful where there was once only the corrupt horror of the flowering abomination.
He found himself curled up on the sand, staring out into a moonless sea.
It took him some time to remember who he was, or rather, the fact that he was, period. A sense of horror, pain, and a narrow escape from peril echoed in his head, though the detail was fuzzy. Clutching himself, and shivering despite the lack of chill, he lay on the sand for an indeterminate amount of time.
When he managed to pull himself up to his knees, he found that the scene had definitely changed. The dunes and stars were all the same, but what lay between them was entirely different. The empty air folded and swirled, little eddies and ripples and warps, turning the sand and waters into structure.
Climbing to his feet, he found that the distortions stretched out far into the distance, expanding and extending to greater heights and widths, increasing in complexity and detail. He was standing in a place, something definite and specific, built with purpose and intent.
He walked out into the warped location, clambering deeper and deeper into the distortions. He found that the shapes became more definite, and more obvious the further he went. There were flowers, yes, unmistakably flowers, of different shapes and sizes. A twisted lamppost without candle to light it, recalling other memories of warmth and lights. A rocky stream, complete with moss and lichens, so real he could almost hear the bubbling of non-existent waters.
The next dune brought more sights, trees and cobbles and blades of grass. The one after that, walls, both chest high and well above his head. It was building itself around him as he stepped over the sand, and when he crossed the last dune…
Promenades and boulevards, staircases and great lofts, immense windows and walls that looped and winded and reconnected with each other in ways that seemed impossible. Corridor after loft after wing after walkway, terraces and sloped beds and balconies and pillars. None with any colour or brightness of their own, but rather sculpted out of the stars and sand and sea.
Space itself had been folded, pinched, and pressed to create a masterwork of bizarre architecture. Between all of the structures, there were trees and flowers and lawns of both distantly familiar and absolutely alien character. It was a garden, a garden in a timeless place with no colour, yet substance.
A garden of glass.
He stepped on the transparent cobbles, and walked a zig-zagging path that turned into itself and out between an arch of a walkway. He was greeted with a small pool and the sound of falling water. He stooped and gathered a handful of a liquid that he couldn’t see, but could feel. Deep within, far larger than what should’ve fit through the portal, swam immense creatures. Coiling and folding in on themselves like the garden itself, they floated above what must’ve been an entire city, all sunk deep below the black sand.
He surveyed the series of bridges and districts that extended into the dark, before finding to his left another bench. This one had not been there before, and was now accompanied by an immaculate lamppost that emitted a not-light. From a spiralling post, there were hanging baskets of flowers with trailing vines that moved in a non-existent wind. He made his way over, and found that the bench held his weight without give.
An indeterminate amount of time was spent on trying to guess at the rhyme or reason behind the labyrinthine architecture. Eventually, he had to give up, the turns and twists impossible to follow for long. Perhaps it had not been designed at all, rather such complexity was some kind of inevitable law of this place.
There was something beside him on the bench.
He picked it up, taking more than a moment to recognize what it was, so different was it from the rest of the Garden. Solid, with a colour and texture all its own, a paper envelope, faded by age and dust, with a flaking red seal at its centre. A ‘letter’, alive and unsculpted unlike the garden, with its own sound and smell. He picked at the wax, and opened the letter with the satisfying rustle and scent of old, folding paper.
Then he departed from the grey half-life of the black beach, and found himself somewhere entirely different.
He was at a desk, his desk, a great behemoth of red-brown wood with a frankly ridiculous amount of drawers. Not that he could see much of them, with the sheer amount of parchment and books drowning the surface. He had a hand, one of warm flesh and blood, closed around an inkwell that was teetering dangerously over a fresh sheet.
He frowned at the sudden sense of displacement, sure that there was something wrong, but he wasn’t quite sure wha-
A knock at the door, hurried but strong, came to interrupt his thoughts. It was almost hidden behind one of the great red curtains arranged around the walls of the considerable room. Light bled through a handful of them, suggesting the presence of windows. Those walls that didn’t were furnished by floor-to-ceiling bookshelves stuffed to the gills. He quickly righted the inkwell, and gave some customary response while drying his hands with a cloth.
A voice, muffled by the wall, but still legible as a young woman’s, answered, and the door practically flew open. Into the room bursted a youth in the prime of adulthood, carrying a dusty grimoire. She paced toward the desk, and he suspected that she was barely holding herself from sprinting.
Before he could afford even a ‘good morning’, as was their custom, she slammed the book on his desk. This drew both an annoyed grunt and a reproachful look from him, which she responded to by nearly spilling an inkwell as she flipped open to a page. Words began to drift in and out of perspective, too blurry to make out. Clearly she was excited about something - well of course, she was always excited about something or other.
Wait, how did he know that?
How did he know her? He definitely did.
He was about to reach out, to call out, to ask her name, who she was, who he was, before her final words came into sharp clarity.
“...and that’s only the beginning, professor Efrain!”
Efrain. Yes. Yes, that had been his name. In some other time, some other place.
‘Efrain’.
The vision was gone, and he was sitting on a bench made from black sand in a garden made from the world. Above him, between all the spires and walkways, a great thing floated. It looked almost like swirling scraps of cloth and paper, scrawled in ink and charcoal, with words and symbols from many different languages. They twisted and compressed into a sharp point beyond his eye’s sight, but which he was certain looked at him.
He wasn’t pulled, that would imply that some kind of force was exerted upon him. Rather, the scene shifted and moved so that he was closer to the mass of turning lexicons.
“You do not belong here,” came a voice, authoritative and cold.
The garden, the beach, the stars and sand, all vanished upwards as he tumbled, deeper and deeper. Out of space and memory and time he fell into a warm current which carried him away back to a different consciousness altogether.
[←Chapter 50] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 52→]

Hey all! I'm glad my post might've helped some people improve their cities. If you missed it, check it out here: https://www.reddit.com/PocketCity/comments/13n1sjv/resource_breakdown_for_data_nerds/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
The dilemma from my last post was whether the space station would eventually surpass the lumber mill. Short answer: it doesn't. Lumbermill+woodworking factory is still the best resource money maker.
I managed to create a spreadsheet that would calculate the required number of cargo trains/shipping docks for the amount of goods produced using the "CEILING" function. This allowed me to see exactly how much $$$ each tile was producing in relation to the system it was apart of, whether that be "# of space stations + # of required shipping buildings" or "# of lumber mills +1 woodworking factory + # of required shipping buildings."
In the end, both graphs produced a logarithmic curve. This means that the amount of $$$ produced by each tile ended up hovering in a range that only increased by a few bucks after a certain point. Space stations hover at around $2700, while lumbermills sit comfortably at $11,200.
I found a trend in the woodworking graph, also. Since the shipping buildings increase your total by 1000, I found that the numbers were optimal when lumbermills (LM) were in units of 10. At 10LM you're making $11,272.73 per tile, at 20LM you're making $11,387.76, 30LM is $11,426.62, and 40LM is $11,446.15. You can already see the diminishing return with the increase between 30LM and 40LM only being +$20 per tile. I found 30LM to be the sweet spot, and I structured them in two long rows with three tiles in-between. Since the mills are 2x2, the 2x3 area between is enough for each mill to get their 3 active sites. Using the widest brush on nature mode, you can swipe the whole lumber strip in one go. When I planted the new trees, I found that I had to fake-move one of the mills to jog the whole thing into working again.
One flag with lumbermills, they drop your "ecosystem" stat in "environment" by 15% per mill. The Mega Eco Research lab negates this entirely.
And then, rather quickly, I hit the $1 billion cap in my level 400+ expert map, as I was pulling in nearly $10 million daily. ): Any map clears out money made above $1bil daily, but only if it's the map you have active. Queue my "offshore account" regional island city that I have been transferring billions to, never to be visited. (:
One thing that I missed in my last post: you can drag your little mayor straight from the profile bubble onto a harvestable resource, and if that resource is rare ore, and you have the best pickaxe, you can make a clean $147,465 in a day. No need to go into free roam and walk your avatar there.
Final trick I found out, you can use streets as a makeshift ruler, since they're $100 per tile. If you drag a street in a straight line and that thing says "$2100," then that's 21 tiles.
Last note, if Bobby the Dev is reading, I would love a feature that allows fish to become renewable. I think they add a nice flair to lakes and rivers, but early-game me used them all up.

So my guys, my girls,
Never wrote a trip report here before but here goes:
I started feeling weird after i had split up my liquid lsd into my bottles as i always do. I took out my gloves to hold them underwater to see if there was a whole somewhere which there wasnt.
It all started out with a deep tingling sensation in my tummy which i never had before, it gave me a new unexplored feeling which i got to explore eventually. So after people telling me to call in sick and my boss saying not happening i had about two hours before i needed to leave for work so i figured why not enjoy? Put on some music got on my carpet and closed my eyes. I had set an alarm to let me know when i had to get ready for work so yea almost missed that as i was compleeetely submerged in the carpet and music. Next problem was me realizing there’s no way I’m driving so i figured I’ll take the bus, as i got to the busstop i realized no way i am gonna do that, went home and got my bike which i then road to work.
On my way i made some mayor detours and eventually made it to work after the most beautiful, exhausting and rewarding bike ride of my life. I saw all the trees and bushes sort of merge together into a land ocean i saw waves and everything even dolphins and a whale. Probably just weird shaped branches but hey ¯_(ツ)_/¯
So arriving at work i was so thankful that i had prepped all the batches etc I needed for the wedding. Only thing i had to do was cut some lemon/lime which was soooooo difficult because the pattern on the skins were amazing, took me forever luckily my boss had set up the bar already.
During the actual event I felt like i had superpowers because all the pople who wanted a drink had to come to me to get it. I had some amazing conversations and two guys even apologized to me that they were acting so weird, i had noticed nothing, pretty sure they were also tripping but idk didn’t ask. Gave me a super good feeling tho to know that there’s likeminded people here. All in all it was the most fun event I ever worked, my boss left after two hours so I was on my own which was super nice.
I don’t exactly know how long i was bartending the wedding for but as i finished the stars were already out. So i called my boss asked him if it’s cool for me to leave and rest as i was „sick“ and he said yea sure I’ll come in and close down (so for all of you who said my boss sucks he doesn’t always suck).
I took a Uber home somehow that idea didn’t pop into my mind when i was thinking on how to get to work. Anyways went home real quick grabbed some water, my sleeping bag and some weed and walked down to the beach (like 5‘ walk).
I was up all night watching the stars and looking at the whitewash in the moonlight at some point my music had run out of battery but tbh it didnt bother me too much as the breaking waves played the most beautiful song i had ever heared.
I watched the sunrise which was absolutely unreal I have never felt such a deep warmth come over my body and soul it felt like the sun was my tripbuddy saying do you understand now? Do you feel it? And i said i do understand. Well at least i understand more than i did before.
Eventually went home after a nice mornig walk on the beach and another good chat with a fisherman that lives next door.
I thank you all for beeing there for me, even tho i wasnt replying/reading I think I felt all your good energy! Also obviously alot more happend, overcame some big hurdles, got scared, spiraled but I pushed through and after all the negativity was gone it was the best trip i ever had.

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Memory transcript subject: Chris, Human Hunter in training Date: [standardized human time] October 28th, 2136
I found the class for my first hour. I entered the classroom and saw the Kolshian teacher from earlier. My first class was an ecology class or something.
“Ah Chris your seat is right over there” the Kolshian pointed his tentacle to one of the chairs next to a Green Krakotl.
“Alright class this paw we shall be learning about your home planets background of animals and overall life” Oh so just like a review of the history of a planet.
“Who’s going first?” The Kolshian teacher scanned the crowd of students. None of them raised there hands so I just went ahead.
“Ah Chris here’s a pad so you can show images on the big screen, go ahead when you are ready” I readied myself to speak and looked at the class. A couple of people were snickering.
“Alright so I guess at the beginning of Earth when there was only microscopic specs in the water which soon became bigger creatures. Soon enough the Cambrien period started which was caused by the global warming of the planet causing mass amounts of Oxygen to be pumped into the sky” I stopped to take a breath and take a sip of cherry Pepsi.
“Because of this many animal groups were shown for the first time like the backbone species which would soon evolve into everything on land” I showed a picture of a jawless fish with spine.
“Another animal that appeared were the Trilobites which would stay for a long time and wouldn’t go extinct for a very long time. Soon however the Cambrian period would come to an end with Cambrian mass extinction where the planet cooled down and killed a decent amount of the water life” alright what was next? Oh yeah that’s right!
“Next was the Ordovician period where some of the modern marine lifeforms appeared like squids kinda like that Kolshian” I pointed at one of the purple squid froglike creatures in the room.
“This is also the time where plants and invertebrates made it onto land, another creature that appeared during this time was the apex predator the sea scorpion” I showed a picture of the creatures of that time along with the sea scorpion.
“Soon enough in the next period the fish evolved like crazy which introduced the first sharks and on land there were giant fungus and the first land creatures millipedes” I showed picture of the creatures.
“Soon enough the fungus got replaced with trees and the first vertebrates came onto land and vertebrates took flight and new apex predators in the sea like the dunk a giant fish with an armored head and self sharpening jaw bones as teeth” I showed the class the picture of the dunk they were amazed by the size and deadliness of the creature.
“Soon there were so many trees there was a lot of oxygen which made bugs absolutely massive such as the meganura. A giant dragonfly the size of a football and arthroplura a giant millipede. And during this time the amphibians went crazy and made a very important evolutionary step in eggs. This would then lead to the evolution of the reptiles and mammals” jeez there is still a decent amount to go over.
“Then began the Permian period which saw the beginning of the two major groups the synapsids and the sauropsids which included the first aquatic reptiles. The trilobites were still there until the Permian mass extinction which wiped out 96% of all life on Earth” the class silenced at that. I mean Jesus that much life lost yet we’re still here is something.
“Soon began after that the age of the dinosaurs. During this time more species came to be like the first crocodiles and turtles” I showed the class a picture of a giant ancient crocodile which amazed some of them.
“Then began the Jurassic period where the first big dinosaurs started to arrive like the predatory hunter the allosaurus that used to hunt the stegosaurus a giant armored herbivore that whipped their tails at enemies” a couple of the Harchens were focused on the allosaurus and it’s similarities to them.
“Also during this time was when birds started to evolve away from the dinosaurs and fly”
“After this came the Cretaceous period with creatures like the horned herbivorous triceratops and the mighty carnivorous Trex” on the screen showed a giant Trex with a dead triceratops in its jaws by the neck. The class stared with much interest.
“There was also the largest carnivorous dinosaur the spinosaurus which could swim really fast and the giant pterosaurs took over the sky’s with some having a 40 foot wingspan like the size of a car or a bus!” I could tell most of the class by now was interested in the presentation.
“During this time grass, flowers and bees appeared by evolving from wasps and another thing that appeared were snakes limbless reptiles who slither around and the crocodiles became humongous” I showed them a picture of the absolutely massive crocodiles
“Yet during this time the mammals were still small because of the giant dinosaurs” here comes the kicker.
“However all good things most come to an end when suddenly a giant meteor from outer space hit the planet having such a massive impact on the planet which made dirt go way up into the sky blocking out the suns light which made plants die” the students were surprised and some were in fright because of this.
“There were giant flaming debris coming down from the sky and volcanoes were erupting. This lead to the dust staying in the sky for a long time which caused 75% of all life to go extinct and most of the bug dinosaurs went extinct because of it” I took another drink of cherry Pepsi.
“Soon after this came the Paleocene epoch and all the animal groups were going crazy and soon came the early primates. Many groups were also going for the title of the apex predator such as the titanoboa the giant snake the size of a bus or the terror birds from the avian dinosaurs which would dominate their landscape for the next 60 million years and if one were in this room you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them and a Krakotl” I pointed at the one green Krakotl in the crowd while flipping through the photos.
“Soon came the time when the first cats and dogs arrived and the whales went back into the ocean evolving into marine mammels. Another creature is the ancestor to the great apes such as gorillas and humans”
“Next came the Eocene epoch where the terror birds were still dominant in their part of the world. There were also elephants and bone crushing dogs which could crush my leg with a single bite” some of the classmates laughed at that part obviously wanting to do the same to me.
“And then after that came the Pliocene epoch in which North and South America formed a Land bridge in which their two groups of animals met for the first time which wound up making the terror birds extinct in the end. Some animals of this time included the woolly mammoths that looked like that Mazic over there” I pointed at the woolly elephant like predator.
“However mammoths didn’t eat meat instead they ate plants. Another animal was giant ground sloth which used its size to reach trees and eat the leaves off of them. There was also gigantopithecus the largest ape to ever live on Earth. Speaking of apes the first human species the Homo-erectus appeared” I took another sip of my cherry Pepsi. Almost done with this.
“Now for the Ice Age. At the start of this age the planet got really cold in which the first Homosapiens appeared and found the other human species the Neanderthals. When the two met they breaded together and the only one left was the Homosapiens. It should also be mentioned that we domesticated dogs and that after this age many of the species died such as the mammoths who we hunted into extinction” the Mazics were a bit taken back by that. Probably not understanding how something so small could wipe out a species that large.
“Soon enough we got here to where we are today. Any questions?” I looked around the class. I saw a Tillfish raise one of their claws.
“Yes?”
“So humans hunted the mammoths into extinction. How did they hunt and have their been any other creatures you hunted into extinction?” I thought for a moment how did ancient humans hunt again?
“So last time I checked we followed our prey continuously until they got tired and collapsed so we could just go ahead and kill them” the class was a bit confused on that one.
“But now I think we just use guns to shoot the prey from a distance” after this I answered a couple more questions until the Kolshian teacher came up to me.
“Alright wonderful presentation Chris how about you have a seat” I nodded and went back to my desk.
The rest of the class went by quickly and smoothly. Next class was some math one. Surprised these guys even have math.
Damn I am hungry.

Before I go further, allow me to introduce myself. I'm in my mid-40s, father of two kids (preteen and teen), married to the most direct yet patient woman on Earth. I have personally camped in various forms--i.e., car camping, backyard camping, backpacking--since I was a small child. I love the idea of camping and, now that my back isn't what it used to be, feel entirely comfortable camping after a few days, but I would in no way consider myself a "pro." With my own family--that is, wife and kids--we camp every year anywhere from two to four weeks in and around California's nether regions in relatively established campsites. (Length of trip dependings a lot on work, weather, and emotional temperaments.) I've never been RV camping (unless my parents old VW Vanagon counts) nor have I been particularly interested in doing so.
A few minutes ago, this article (https://www.outsideonline.com/outdoor-geacamping/worst-camping-fails-eve) popped up in my browser. Say what you will about Outside Online, but I found their "list" to be, well, lacking. So, here goes nothing.
1) "Did you pack the tent?" Three hours into a six-hour drive to a remote campsite, I lean over and ask my wife in the sweetest, softest voice possible, "Hon, you packed the tent, right?" (No, genius, she says, that was your job. Remember all those stupid lists you keep writing out?) Turns out, of all the things I managed to cram into our car (including the kids), the roomy six-person tent was not among them. On the plus side, I learned that there is a sporting goods warehouse in Redding, California that will not only sell your wife a new tent, but also suggest she get a new husband. (True story.)
2) "It won't be that windy." A few months ago, we went camping in Joshua Tree National Park. Being California-born Boy Scout, I've grown accustomed to the weather (that is, I fear the unpredictable weather and like to think that I plan like you wouldn't believe). Before our trip, I religiously checked the forecast and began to see what at first were gentle notes about above-average wind speeds. I had never camped at JTNP before, so I didn't think much of it. As our trip approached, the observations turned into "wind event warnings." Those, in turn, became "wind event warnings." As in, 40-60 MPH+ sustained winds with gusts of 80+ MPH plus.
One of our tents is a four-season tent. The other tent (see #1) was not. So, after we got to JTNP, I dutifully spent an hour or more driving from the park back into civilization in hopes of finding additional tent-stakes. I found some, paid out the nose, and drove back. Lemme just say this: It was so windy it was like Mad Max: Thunderdome. Two tents enter, one tent leaves.
I ended up sleeping in one tent with one kid, while my wife stayed in the other, better tent with the other kid. Despite my best efforts, the "in a pinch" tent (see #1, supra) kept teabagging me all night. No joke. The tent literally went sideways, began dropping its load on my forehead, and then would pop itself up again. Wash, rinse, repeat for 8+ hours. Somehow, the older child slept through all of this. I did not.
Meanwhile, in the better tent, everyone slept soundly. (The winds were even higher the following night. The cheapo tent died a sad death. The better REI tent made it through unscathed.)
3) "They've got to have toilet paper." Need I say more?
4) "It's a tent" (honorable mention). As I mentioned above, I used to go camping a lot as a kid. Yosemite (not the valley), Sequoia, Kings National Parks, the local county park on the beach, things like that. Thing is, my dad was highly self indulgent but a cheapskate, skinflint when it came to anyone else, including his own kids. So, whenever we went camping, he'd drag out this orange plastic material, run paracord through it, and use rocks to weigh down the ends. "It's a tent, buddy!" he'd beam at me. "It has no doors, no mesh, and it smells like rotten milk," I'd say. "Keeps the rain off you--as long as it's parallel to the hill--and if a bear comes, you just run out the other end," was his response.
It was only when I had kids of my own that I finally realized our family "tent," which we used for years, was nothing more than a cheap, single-use emergency tube shelter. (I think Coghlans still sells them.)
Moral of the story? I love camping . . . with the right equipment.

This subreddit allowed me to plan our wedding. I am so grateful and found these breakdowns especially useful, and now a cathartic experience for me and hopefully a way to give back!
Photos
First step that helped us the most was deciding as a team early on what we wanted our wedding to bring to us and our future.
We were inspired early on by This Post and the comments.
We have both been through a lot of life and have a lot of gratitude for the people that have gotten us to this point and wanted to make space to celebrate with all of them in a big way. This inspired the rest of our wedding planning, committing us to a big guest list, requiring a big venue. We invited 304 people (154 households), 179 RSVP’d yes, and had ~10 no-show. Our family and friends live all over the country and some abroad, so we decided to pick a location close to us, but that had multiple houses on site to host our family/bridal party for the weekend (thurs-sunday; saturday wedding) so that we could have more time with those people closest to us.
Total: $69,407 (MCOL area)
Venue: $28,250 “Weekend Package”

• Indoor and outdoor space for ceremony/reception
• Lodging for ~60 people w/Lake access
• Rehearsal dinner space (same as wedding reception)
• Weekend coordinators
• Tables/chairs/arbor
• Additional costs - $1500: rehearsal dinner speakers/mic, bars, extra chairs/tables, late checkout, event insurance

Additional Lodging: $3965

• 2 additional houses near venue (lodging for 15 people)
• Because we were about 30min from the nearest city, we decided it was important to us to be able to have close family nearby, and rented out these houses as a gift for close family and friends. We debated a few different ways to have people rent the rooms back from us, but in the end felt like covering lodging cost was the better option.

Paper: $845

• Postcard STD ($60), Invites w/vellum paper + details/rsvp insert + personalized sticker ($298), Thank you cards ($25), Seating Chart ($20 - GotPrint, 24”x30” foam board, used coupon), Table Numbers ($35 - printed on shutterfly sale 5x7), Programs w/menu ($200), Postage ($207 - estimating on thank you cards, saved money with postcard stamps).
• I designed everything on Canva (free), and printed almost everything above through canva as well with a few exceptions. They were excellent. I had fun making my own wedding “suite” that suited our personalities and could be used from the invites to the table numbers.
• Program was a booklet that was made using x2 8x11 sheets printed as “letterhead” folded to have a welcome page, ceremony structure, wedding party, community vow, wedding day timeline, our love story timeline, the menu, and a thank you back page with a map I designed using SnazzyMaps with pins from every state/country people traveled from
• We did online RSVP through WithJoy and it was great. We also used GoogleForms early in the planning process to collect addresses that autopopulated into an excel spreadsheet.

Decor: $992

• Linens** ($360 - bought, (40 round, 10 rectangle) split cost as sharing with a friend. The cost to rent and have the linens transported to the venue would’ve been $2000. This was one of the toughest parts of the DIY wedding - happy to post more info if other people are also trying to do this.)
• Sign holders ($80 - 5x7 off amazon for 48 total), bud vases ($22 - most vases were borrowed from friends/family), Guest “book” ($180- we bought 4 nice photo frames with mattes and took the mattes out and had people sign them - came out beautifully), Bathroom baskets ($189), Glowsticks/Foam party sticks ($63), Sparklers ($97 - last minute add and I’m glad we did. It was special to have a “closing ceremony” of sorts - even though we all went back to the house at the venue for an after party)
• Photo backdrop and neon “good vibes only” sign - gifted

Florals: $2322

• Flower Moxie “Wildflower Package” with additional add ins ($2260) - these flowers were amazing. (photo of my bouquet in a vase - I’d had the flowers for 1 week!) We got buckets from Trader Joes for free. We had pruning shears and gloves on hand. We have a family member that has done florals for a few weddings and works at a plant shop. She gave us the amazing gift of doing our bouquets and bringing in potted flowers and ferns as well. She also designed a faux flower arbor accent for us based on our flowers. This work was incredible. Happy to answer more DIY flower questions.
• Grandparent charms ($102): both sets of my grandparents passed away. I had these designed from etsy with 3 charms including their wedding photo, kiss photo, and cake cutting photo. Absolutely worth it. Planning to re-purpose as a christmas tree ornament heirloom.

Food: $8133

• Wedding catered for 174 people, Chickfila for wedding day lunch (~70 people), PapaJohn’s Thursday night of wedding weekend
• Catering was buffet and “Heavy Hors d'oeuvres” style with a mac n’cheese bar and we heard only good things from everyone
• Included cake cutting service, coffee/tea/watelemonade, and sodas/mixers/ice for the bar
• Bride mom paid for costco snacks/sandwiches for the weekend
• Groom family paid for catered rehearsal dinner
• Bride mom mom paid for wedding cake ($75) also from costco which was amazing - we did 3 sheet cakes and 1 round cake for cutting. We had 1 entire sheet cake leftover.

Alcohol: $3752

• BeeWine for wedding and rehearsal dinner ($1557); wedding day bartenders x3 for 5.5hrs ($1950), personalized koozies ($245)
• Groom’s family had a contact and bought all the liquor for the rehearsal dinnewedding
• Our venue allowed BYOB, and some of this cost includes extra alcohol for the wedding weekend, though we also had friends BYOB
• Beer from Sam’s Club and Total Wine ($727) - mix of Miller, Coors, Ultra, Founder’s IPA, Stella (this is the only alcohol that ran out)
• Wine from Trader Joes ($830)- you can talk with someone about ordering cases in advance and it took about 5 days to arrive. We did not do a champagne toast, but I got 10 bottles of trader joe’s prosecco to have at the bridal party house for the weekend. We got 2 cases of red, 6 cases of white, 2 cases of rose and had between 6-12 bottles of each type of wine leftover. I only bought wine that we like, so plan to drink it in the coming months and did not ask about their return policy.

DJ: $1925

• Included ceremony speakers/2 mics, had a fun video display that rotated out photos of people dancing, and including lighting

Photography/Videography: $9839

• Photo ($4839) 10 hours day of wedding and an engagement session.
• Video ($5000) 9 hours day of and includes a short video plus we paid extra to have all the raw footage
• These were some of our biggest hype people! It was definitely a price point early in the planning process where we had sticker shock, but we are very happy with the decisions we made here. These memories are priceless and the day really does fly by. They made us feel so at ease and so comfortable just being ourselves and coordinating chaotic big families and making the day all about us being in love and celebrating our love.

Clothing: $3930

• Groom suit ($462 - mens warehouse custom, “lifetime” alterations - was a mess. Dropped it off 6 weeks before the wedding, they didn’t call and tell us it was ready, called them the week before the wedding and they said it was ready, the pants were not even hemmed and incorrect alterations had been done. We bought a “back-up” sale suit from J Crew that night for ~$300 and that’s what my husband ended up wearing- no alterations but fit and looked better than the men’s warehouse. Hopefully we get other uses out of both suits).
• Groom shoes, tie, belt, suit shirt ($180)
• Bride Dress ($2299- Stella York- included steaming, storage, preservation), alterations ($410- 7 point bustle, hemmed, shoulders shortened, felt added to shoulder straps, button loops added - was just a zipper, back taken in slightly).
• Bride Shoes ($99 - custom converse, wore several times again already!), Bra ($50- boomba, worked great!), accessories ($130), Veil $20 on amazon and perfect.
• Last minute also added in a new rehearsal dinner dress and short party dress that can be worn for other occasions. I loved my wedding dress and really wanted to wear it all night but about 30min into dancing I wasn’t able to party as much as I wanted to and was glad I had the party dress to swap into!

Other: $3349

• Wedding bands from Brilliant Earth: Groom ($1285- platinum), Bride ($1069- white gold)
• HMUA $125 for haimakeup/lashes- (was also $125 for the trial - glad I did it!)- there was also a travel fee as we had it done at the venue that I paid.
• Marriage License $85, Notary $60
• Officiant $300
• Groomsman Gift ($300)
• Bridesmaid Gift ($0- family friend quilted large tote bags for everyone)
• Bridesmaid/Groomsmen Attire ($0 for us - we had large bridal parties so did not cover this cost. Bridesmaid’s ordered their preference of Azazie dress - decided on bermuda blue to contrast the wildflowers- and groomsmen rented from Men’s Warehouse).

Tips: $770

• We tipped our day of coordinator $100, DJ $100 (owns the business, but did great!), HMUA 20% ($300 - I paid the entire tip cost for my bridal party but they paid for the HMU cost).
• Photo/Video own their businesses so did not tip- (leaving reviews!)
• Asked catering about tipping and they said they pay all staff a fair wage and it is not expected and gave a range of what people sometimes do tip. We ended up tipping the 9 staff/bartenders $30 each.

Our wedding was amazing for us. It felt like an event that truly encapsulated who we are as individuals and as a couple, and that chance to celebrate with so many people we love was priceless. It felt like all the spreadsheets we’d worked on for the last 2 years turned into reality. This is the main master spreadsheet I used:
Google Spreadsheet Wedding Planning
It’s created from all sorts of different helpful spreadsheets I found here and from other wedding websites. The “Checklist” really doesn’t start until I realized how easy it is to get lost in needing to capture so many personal little details that would keep me up at night feeling like they were slipping through the cracks. But if you’re starting from the beginning, you will need to include the big ticket “check boxes” that are in the budget portion. Hopefully it can help some others! Happy planning Weddit!