lately all of this feels so hopeless. i feel unloved, I feel stupid, I feel like my life is of no value. I am aware this is unproductive thinking and it’s leading me to no better kind of place. But I’m so tired of these stupid therapy tactics and mental exercises. When i say I don’t have the energy for anything I really mean anything. There is not a bone in my body that can get me to think positively in the moments I spiral and i really need those positive thoughts It’s already been a rough day, i’m stressed and my effort feels so pointless. But I got into a minor argument with my partner and I feel like that was todays breaking point. I feel like my efforts don’t matter in any aspect of my life. My parents are not emotionally supportive and I can’t communicate with them. I am not strong academically and I’ve ruined my chances of getting into a good college. I cant even love the person I love the most the way I want to. I’ve only struggled with soo-side-all (not sure if i can say that on here?) thoughts for a period in my life once, with little bits sprinkled here and there. I feel like it’s gotten so bad recently though. I don’t want to dye (again idk if i can say that), but trying doesn’t feel like something I can do anymore. It just doesn’t feel like i’m going to get anywhere. I feel so stuck and worthless and not worth being understood and cared about. I feel so alone and I don’t know what I need. I don’t wanna feel this way but I want to escape this hell that is my mind right now.
I guess I just needed to rant this out, or get some advice for anyone that would care. Take care.

I know I messed up really bad in the past, I know that perhaps I don’t deserve my son’s forgiveness but it’s worth to try and any advice would be appreciated.
I need to give you some context so you can give some ideas on how to approach, how to reach out to him. His mom and I divorced when my son was 10, we weren’t compatible anymore so we decided I was better to split, there was no infidelity involved just two people who decided to no longer be together, for two years we had a great co-parenting relationship, I loved spending time with my boy and we had a great bond.
When my son was 12, I met M, we started dating and she seemed to like my son but when we got married she told me to choose between her and my son, I’ve always got a low self-esteem, so I didn’t want to lose my wife because I wanted to feel loved, so me being the idiot I was back then I picked her and stopped talking to my son, It hurt me because I do really love my son but I prioritized my marriage and now I see it was the biggest mistake of my life, I kept paying child support but no contact at all, I didn’t even answer his calls because I thought it was easier that way.
We had two more kids, when my son turned 16, after 3 years of NC, he reached out to me, asking to meet me and I did, we met and starting building our relationship again, one day on his 17th birthday, he had an argument with my wife, I messed up here, I kick him out and told him I didn’t love him anymore, and that I didn’t want him in my life so he left.
I reached out to him the next day to apologize and explain I didn’t mean anything of what I said, but he didn’t answer, his mom told me to stop calling him because he wanted nothing to do with me.
I have tried to reconnect with him ever since but he ignores my attempts like I don’t exist, I ended divorcing my wife, I’ve being in therapy to work on my own childhood traumas and be a better parent to all my three kids.
My kids and I have a great house, I have a great job, we can afford vacations etc. but there is still a missing piece, my son, I miss him, I love him, I know I messed up but not a single day that I don’t regret what I did to him, God knows I’ve tried to reconnect, he doesn’t seem to care.
I pay his university, I send him money but I’m just an ATM, he doesn’t even acknowledge I exist and it hurts, I don’t blame him, I know I messed up but it’s sad that I get to find out about my son’s life through my mom and she doesn’t let me know everything, just generic information like “he’s doing great at school”, “he’s had a boyfriend”. IT’S SO FRUSTRATING.
His birthday is this 06/15th, I was thinking I could buy him a new car and surprise him at his house (he lives in a different city) but I don’t know if that’s a good Idea, I’m so desperate that I don’t even know.
I just want my son back, any ideas on how I could approach, I want to take his birthday as an opportunity to see him after many years. What can I do to win him back?

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This is something that has been on my mind for a few years now. I'm still having a hard time processing this and I feel emotionally torn. This is pretty long but bare with me, TLDR at the bottom.
For context, I moved before entering my freshman year of highschool so I was pretty much the new kid in town. I didn't really know anyone but one person, who on the first day introduced me to a small group of people who had common interests with me. There I met my friend, who I shall call E. E was very short and skinny, pretty one of the tiniest people in school. We talked and hung out a lot, and at some point I trusted her enough to try marijuana with her.
Around the beginning of our friendship I had developed a small crush on E as I found her attractive, as around this time I was still discovering myself and my sexuality as I realized I was attracted to women in middle school. Being that E was a woman and Bi, I felt I had a chance with her, however I made my advances when she was taken by a guy I'll call T for simplicity. I had always thought T was an asshole and I felt that I could treat E better as a partner, to which I got my hopes up believing she would be able to see that. Because this is important later, I'd like to note that T is much older and bigger, pretty much the stereotypical senior that preys on freshman girls. From what I've heard T was quite abusive, cheated a lot and sometimes their sex was nonconsensual.
Eventually after dropping hints that I was into E and even went as far to ask for a kiss and got rejected, I stopped my advances on E and my infatuation died. As time went on though we grew closer and were very comfortable around each other; we have showered together on extremely rare occasions but it was never weird or awkward. At some point I had come out as trans and E was one of my main supporters.
Fast forward to my junior year of highschool, I started dating a guy who I shall call X. X knew me before I was trans and despite this he sometimes showed disgust when I talked about transitioning. E picked up on this and grew to dislike X and would tell me in private, which essentially put doubts in my mind about X's and I's relationship. To add to this, X was okay with marijuana, but he hated alcohol due to some of his family being alcoholics and one of them being hospitalized due to an accident that happened while they were under the influence. The time I drank with E at a party, X didn't want to kiss me or be around me as I reeked of alcohol and eventually left early.
Well, one day I planned to spend the night at E's house and drink alcohol with her. I told X my plans which eventually broke out into an argument. I forget what was said, but he was against me drinking, though reluctantly decided to come over later on after we had drank.
So I arrive at E's house with the alcohol and get myself comfy in the small fort that was built in the corner of the living room. While I'm getting comfy I ask E to make a small drink of alcohol as I had a low tolerance and I wasn't a fan of the burn of alcohol. When E comes back she had two tall glasses, which intimidated me. Turns out she took all the alcohol I had brought and split between the two of us and filled the rest with juice to make a strong spiked drink. As we're drinking and getting a buzz, I try to take my time with my drink fighting through the burn as we occupied ourselves with TV or while she was on facetime, but overtime she would say things that felt like she was rushing me, something along the lines of "If you're not going to finish that, I will" and essentially call me a pussy. Me being a teenager wanting my equal portion and feeling the need to prove her wrong, I caved into peer pressure eventually finished my drink.
Here is where I hold my conflicting thoughts and feelings. At some point in the fort, E and I were very intoxicated, though I wasn't blacked out as I still remember most of what happened. E starts to cuddle up to me as I'm on my back doing something on my phone; I don't remember what, but I believe I was texting X who was on their way over. This wasn't unusual to me and being I am a lovey-dovey drunk, I didn't mind this. It progressed to E getting handsy and groping/kneading my stomach and hips which made me feel funny. I remember getting this weird feeling of nostalgia in this moment, almost like a trance as if I was brought back to when I was first attracted to E. Before E went any further she asked if it was okay to continue, and I said yes as I was influenced by these old but confusing feelings. Eventually E went into my pants, and that's when I came back to reality. This wasn't what I wanted, but I felt that I was too far into it to tell her to stop, that I didn't want to do it anymore. I couldn't tell her no. So, I faked an orgasm and that's when things ended. Once it was over, E told me to not tell X, and we continued on with our night like nothing happened. Afterwards I checked my texts to find that X sent a message saying he waiting for us to let him in, but being that neither one of us answered and he waited for a while before going home.
After the incident with E, I felt dirty. At the time it felt like I had cheated on X, so the next day I confronted him and told him what happened. When I first initially told X I worded it as that I had cheated, which led to us breaking up and going no contact for a week. However this time apart gave me more time to process what happened, and at some point I reached out to X to explain myself and give the whole story. This is when X told me that I was raped, and after some discussion and my own personal internet searches I realized he was right. Aside from X being the first person I talked to this about, I confided in my mother as I trusted her. She asked if I wanted to get police involved, but being that we were underage drinking and I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, I declined. I later blocked E on most social media.
However, I later discovered that X was spreading word around town that E assaulted me, which led E to take to social media to defend herself. She explained what happened, how it was unfair to her because she didn't remember anything on that night, and how it was impossible for her to have raped me as I was much bigger than her, and it "wasn't rape". I never responded to this, but she lost a lot of friends over that post.
A few months later I was talking to my friend L, who is a mutual friend of mine and E. I told her a little about what happened with E, and L said that she was with E at that time. That's when I decided to confront E about what happened and all 3 of us met at a park. Before I could begin to voice my thoughts and feelings about what happened, E broke down into tears and practically steamrolled me with hers. She went on to say that she lost a majority of her friends, received death threats and even received razor blades and bleach in the mail. I was never able to tell her my side of things as she was hysterically crying, quite literally on her knees, instead I couldn't help but feel sorry for her and forced myself into forgiving her, but it never felt genuine.
To this day I don't feel like I have closure to what happened, and because of it I feel that I have a strained friendship with her. The one time E had brought up this event was when her, L and I were hanging out and said that 'we fucked.' We don't talk or hang out as much anymore as we have our own lives, but because Ive known E for so long and how much support she gives me I feel guilty for cutting ties with her as I have tried in the past.
Should I stay friends with her or cut her out of my life for good?
TLDR; My friend since high school who I use to crush on peer pressured me into drinking and assaulted me when we were both drunk. When I confronted her about it she made it all about her and I forgave her when I really didnt.

When we think of relationships, we usually think of other people: family, friends, partners, co-workers, that f*cker that keeps playing the organ at midnight next door, the dog, etc.
Relationships are super duper important to living at least a somewhat decent life. I doubt many people will disagree.
Yet the most important relationship is the one that is commonly most overlooked:
Your relationship with yourself!

Your relationship with yourself

Don't worry, I'm not going to come out with some hoo-hah "love yourself" bullshit. I promise.
Not long ago there was only one person I hated in life. One person that I thought was the most pathetic, weak, lacking, and bruh-inducing human that I knew. And who was that?
Me!
Was thinking this healthy? No. Did it benefit me in any way? No. Did it benefit others? No. Was it conducive to my goals? No. Did it make me feel any better? No.
But my past depressed self made this a reality. Whether it was true or not, I believed it, so it became true to me.
My past self rationalised this thought pattern. I made it appear reasonable to talk to myself like this - to have this I'm-such-a-loser-all-I-do-is-lose internal dialogue. Compared to so many people around me, I felt behind in life. Really behind.
My mental health was in a laughable state. I was physically as fit as my 70yr old neighbour (the one that plays that f*cking organ), lonely, depressed, hopeless, and didn't have much going for me. And to put the cherry on top, I habitually played the comparison game with people online.
Now that is a loser's game.
After a while, I'd had enough. I said, "f*ck this, I'm sick of myself for hating myself, and I've got to do something about this". I took the plunge into rekindling my relationship with myself.
Why Is This Important?
If your goal is improvement, you must be someone that wants to improve.
When I treated myself like a foe:

• I kept regressing to old standards after a very short time.
• I had no motivation to improve and achieve worthwhile goals.
• I quickly gave up on anything that took effort.
• I overindulged in vices and bad habits.
• And I just didn't care much if I won or lost.

And other people are going to notice this. It is reflected in everything: posture, work ethic, body language, etc. You will never be able to subconsciously rationalise improving someone you hate.
And to add, not many people will want to be around you either.
To try to be a better person yet speak to yourself as a problem is counter-intuitive. Don't you think? It's bound to create a form of mental incongruence. And as long as your actions for yourself do not align with your thoughts about yourself, you will always feel a kind of dissonance. And this shit isn't what we want.
Oh wow, this is cool and all, but how tf do I start liking myself a little more?
Firstly, you've got to be aware of the problem. How do you speak to yourself regularly? Like you would to a friend? How about when you do something well or badly?
Start to develop a perception of your thoughts about yourself more and assess them. This could be some of the most beneficial introspection you do. Take note of how much is positive and how much is negative. And don't just skip this shit - it's important.
For example, here were some of mine that used to be all too common: "I'm pathetic", "I'm stupid", "I'm weak", "I'm a sorry excuse for a man", "Why would anyone ever like me?", and "Why should I bother?"
Pretty rough, huh?
​
Next, you have to want to become someone that you like.
Perhaps you don't want to. Perhaps this seems a bit lovey-dovey.
Make no mistake, I'm not saying you should love yourself all of a sudden. That obviously won't work. Not a single cringe "love yourself" affirmation or quote changed shit when I was a doomer.
If you're suffering right now, why should you love the person who's put you there? It's more about thinking positively and reshaping your identity so it aligns with your goals.
You should find a nice balance between loving and hating yourself - too much hate, and you'll never get shit done; too much love and you'll get too comfortable with where you currently are.
Your beliefs should be as self-serving as possible. Ones that aren't will compound and weaken your mind. Because ultimately, your beliefs become your reality.
Here are some next steps you can take:

1. Only compare yourself to yourself. Easier said than done, I know. But it's a biggie. Deleting - or at least distancing - yourself from social media will help. All these "successful" nerds will make everything you do seem futile. Instead, compare your progress to where you were in the past.
2. Look after yourself. But take it gradually, step by step. Overwhelming yourself will cause a reset, or prevent you from starting altogether. Do some simple things: take a shower, drink some water, meditate for 2 minutes, journal 1 thing you're grateful for, go for a walk, etc. Do these little things, let them compound, and see how you feel after a week or two.
3. Envision the person you want to become - the dream version of yourself. How would they treat and speak to themselves? Really use your imagination and paint as vivid a picture as possible. The more detail, the more emotion you can tie to it, and the more powerful it will be. Now act and think in alignment with how they would.
4. Intercept negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Unfortunately, emotions are addictive, so many people get stuck thinking negatively. This will take practice, but you can get there. One tip is to write a reminder on the wall to think good thoughts. The less tolerance you have for non-serving thoughts, the easier it will be.

The most important thing
The one thing that gave me the most progress was changing my beliefs about myself. It seemed stupid to have beliefs about myself that made life harder.
So, I removed all tolerance for negative beliefs and replaced them with positive ones. I would constantly reaffirm these beliefs, no matter how arduous it seemed. This is some biohacking, neuroplasticity, and reprogramming your mind-type shit.
I found results the most, however, when I proved these beliefs. That is the key. Because then you get a nice feedback loop and a positive memory to add credence to the belief.
The idea goes: Form a serving belief -> Act in accordance -> See the Result -> Get mental feedback.
Then the feedback either strengthens the belief or weakens it. It's these feedback loops that can be the difference between feeling on top of the world and like a fat sack of shit. This is why it's paramount that you understand this! These beliefs can make or break you.
Don't worry if at first you don't act correctly or get the desired results. Remind yourself that you are evolving into the person who believes x about themselves, and with time it will come true.
​
Some concluding notes and stuff
Speak to yourself like a friend. Behave how you would want your child to.
There is a lot more to cover on this topic, such as affirmations (which can help immensely but are almost always incorrectly done and misunderstood), identity and the ego, belief, victim mentality, feedback loops, etc. But I think these deserve their own posts.
One of the biggest determinants of success for most things in life is how much you believe in yourself. Be someone that you can believe in.
Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Thx for reading.

Hey ya’ll. I need to vent because life is so hard right now & I also have a few questions. I’m in my early 30’s & have excruciatingly painful periods as well as epilepsy. Pain/stress is a trigger for my seizures & even when I’m not on my period my usual pain level throughout the month is a resting 6. The seizures cause muscles spasms around my uterus which obviously complicates things.
Had a diagnostic laparoscopic surgery last year where they ended up removing a fibroid, but we don’t really know where the pain is coming from. My uterus is the size of an 9 week pregnant woman’s. I’ve been celibate for 8 years, terrified of being in a relationship, even having friends is difficult because I am always canceling/in pain while hanging out. I can’t work, leisure activities like going to the beach suck, because of my constant need to urinate. Basically my quality of life is trash.
I’ve been debating getting the surgery (doc wants to remove it all except my ovaries) in hopes maybe somehow someway things would improve. Decided tonight it’s time. Last month my old anticonvulsant stopped working & my seizures have been out of control, switched to a new med (which isn’t even working) & started my period today. ITS EVEN WORSE THAN MY USUAL LEVEL 10 idk how that even possible. Apparently this new med can cause painful periods🤦🏼‍♀️ and I’m at my wits end. Honestly feeling like giving up.
Anyways, thanks for letting me bitch for a while. I’m scared & so distraught. There’s so few things that bring me any sense of pleasure in life & I feel like I would loose my mind if my ability to climax is compromised with this surgery. Yes, at this point I guess the risk is worth it. But can I get some reassurance this is rare? If it has happened to you have you entertained getting the “o shot”? Has it worked?
I’ve never climaxed with a partner (I didn’t know it wasn’t normal to hurt back then) but I can climax vaginally solo. I don’t know if my cervix is the culprit🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m so afraid of losing sensation down there. It should take second place to everything else, but like I said I’m miserable so often I really don’t want to loose that.
What are your guys’ thoughts on physically preparing for the surgery? I wish I could get my body in better physical condition to prep, but I’m so weak it almost seems futile. I have been doing pelvic physical therapy for a year now. But I’m VERY out of shape. I’m sitting here crying cause can’t even fathom that it’s possible things just took another turn for the worse. Sorry for the novel. I just feel so lost & terrified. Prayers would be appreciated🤍

my brother g is 14 years old. he's only 3 years younger than me and has adhd. i 17(ftm) have major depression, anxiety, and ptsd (all diagnosed ofc).
my little brother's life has always been better than mine from the get go. i am jealous with, in my opinion, good reason. his parents are together, neither abuse him, his extended family is positive and loving, and he generally has had a better family life growing up. as one of his 3 siblings i can't say the same. all of our lives have been worse in comparison yet he gets the most sympathy. my oldest brother has a drug addicted deadbeat dad that tried using him for money/rides and was abused by my father before being torn away from his friends to move states, my step brother has an over bearing mother who cares more about materialistic things then his interests, and i was sexually and physically abused by my dad and others from 4 up.
despite this me and my siblings are rarely given attention or get to choose activities. we used to have family movie and game nights yet could never pick the movie/game. it was always "oh that movies not appropriate for your brother" or "that game will be too hard for your brother!". this meant he got to pick everything every time and we couldn't ever play games/watch stuff without including him which meant never getting to do that stuff without adjusting for him. he was always slap happy but never was really punished. where my brothers and i were pit in time out or grounded for even accidents he hit on purpose daily and was only scolded. eventually we were told to stop being tattle tails and that it didn't hurt that much. if we ever retaliated or even just pushed him away or ran away to avoid being hurt we were yelled at cause he'd cry. he always got new clothes, back packs, toys, and games while i got hand me downs and told to enjoy what i had. while he'd get $50 lego sets i would get $10 dolls that scared the crap out of me and a guilt trip for not enjoying it. his interests were always looked out for with birthday parties, gifts, and conversations. we all had to watch his favorite tv shows. meanwhile, our parents couldn't tell you what each of us liked past things from several years ago. they always complained we were too complicated or didn't know what we liked when they were the ones not listening when we'd try to talk to them about things. my oldest brother stopped playing with all of us and participating in family activities first. then my step brother who was only over for half the week stopped. when i didn't want to play with him or engage with the family any more i wasn't allowed to say no because nobody else would hang with my youngest brother if i left. i was there to distract and keep him happy while my brothers all got to enjoy their time.
things stopped for me faster than my other siblings. my step dad always liked his own kids better but it hurt a lot more to be second priority to both your bio dad and step dad. where i was told to get my own snack/drink or that i was too heavy to pick up at 7-8 years old my step brother and little brother got that treatment into their teens. my step dad never asked for quality time with me or my interests. instead i was chided for not understanding sarcasm like his sons or ignored when wanting to do something he found boring. several times he laughed when my things got ruined because i "always ruined" his kids stuff. it was only ever on accident i damaged anything any of my family members owned.
i was a "prodigy" and "gifted" as a child so i was always made to do extra homework and get good grades. my brothers got to slide by with barely passing d's and threats by teachers of summer school while i was scolded for a c+. i remember my mom telling me i wasn't allowed to watch a movie i hadn't read the book for. i liked reading but this made it into a chore. my brothers of course had no such restrictions on what they could watch/play. even today my parents are upset that im not going to college when my oldest brother lives with them and plays video games any time he's home from work. i graduated a YEAR early under stressful and unexpected circumstances. even them instead of being proud of me for getting through it despite my mental illness' they were upset i hadn't done enough. my youngest brother meanwhile just barely made it through this year and yet complained he was asked to do his homework. he was still allowed to hang out with friends and play games all day despite having all f's at one point!
my little brother also made many jokes at one point that his dad hit him/left him because he thought it was funny. my parents had "talks" with him for months until finally my step dad yelled at him. it sucks that he got to make fun of such an experience when me and my oldest brother were abused by my dad. even now i suffer daily from ptsd. even if he doesn't make the jokes now he still makes fun of me for having a dick head dad knowing it hurts me and gets away with it. he never has to take responsibility for anything and gets to scream at my parents, hit me, and leave giant messes for others to clean without any consequences.
im just so done. i feel so overlooked and discussing this with my parents even with my therapist present has earned me defensive responses and at some points them simply walking away from me. am i just a bad kid?

My life was perfect i was the topper and physically fit and everything yk about the good guy but when corona happened my life derailed it was minor things i started scrolling insta while attending online class such that i didn't even touch the books for two years then it was 10th board exam i passed with 88% just by my luck i gradually gained weight from 80kg i had food addiction it went to 107kg as i corona settled down i had motivation to put my life back on track and it happens i came back to be an average student and i reduced my weight to 97kg but this lasted for 1 month only i fell back into porn and gaming addiction i gained 20kg in 3 months and reached 117kg and also my studies got poorer than ever i was below average in my class now again i am on the grind i am reducing my weight by starving and working out from 120kg to 117kg but it regains in two days if i eat my studies are good class wise i am near the topper in answering questions in class but when it comes to exam i am just above average and i got into an online relationship during corona which gave me false reassurance that i am good now the same is happening and i started cheting on exams which gave false reassurance too I just want my former self back i have been working out(calisthenics till i fail since i have no gym near me or money for it), studying, and on no fap I just can't see the results it has been a month i see no improvement in my health or weight or score in exams. Am i in right track if not how can I improve ? 

Ive been useing a form of chat GPT lately called forefront chat that lets you create personas to talk to. From famous people in history to artists and fictional charecters. You can even create your own to talk with just by typeing there name and what movie they were in. Ive allready got Dr Grant Ian Malcom and Jhon Hammed talking with me. I had a intersting talk and debate with John. The address is https://chat.forefront.ai/ and i copyed and pasted the conversatrion with john for you to see for yourself
​
Ah, hello there! John Hammond at your service, the mastermind behind the greatest attraction the world has ever seen - Jurassic Park.
GPT-3.5
📷
me: What are your thoughts on human cloneing?
05-23-2023
📷Ah, human cloning! A fascinating topic indeed. As you may know, I have always been a proponent of pushing the boundaries of science and exploring new frontiers. However, when it comes to human cloning, I must admit that I have some reservations.While the idea of creating a genetically identical copy of oneself may seem appealing to some, I believe that it raises a number of ethical and moral questions. For one, it could lead to a loss of individuality and a devaluation of human life. Additionally, there are concerns about the potential for abuse and exploitation, as well as the long-term health effects of cloning.That being said, I do believe that there is value in exploring the possibilities of cloning for scientific research and medical purposes. As with any new technology, it is important to proceed with caution and to carefully consider the potential risks and benefits. Ultimately, I believe that the decision to pursue human cloning should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the sanctity of human life.
GPT-3.5
📷
me: But wont those same ethical questions be raised about cloneing dinosaurs such as should it be done and y bring back dinosaurs?
05-23-2023
📷Ah, an excellent question! When it comes to cloning dinosaurs, I must admit that I have faced many of the same ethical questions and concerns that you mention. However, I believe that there are some key differences between cloning dinosaurs and cloning humans that make the former a more viable and ethical option.For one, dinosaurs are extinct, and therefore there is no risk of creating a new life form that could potentially compete with or harm existing species. Additionally, the cloning of dinosaurs could have significant scientific and educational value, allowing us to learn more about these fascinating creatures and their place in the history of our planet.Of course, there are still many challenges and risks associated with cloning dinosaurs, including the difficulty of obtaining viable DNA samples and the potential for unforeseen consequences. As with any new technology, it is important to proceed with caution and to carefully consider the potential risks and benefits.Ultimately, I believe that the decision to pursue dinosaur cloning should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the natural world and the delicate balance of life on our planet.
📷
me: You say that there's no risk of making a life form that and i quote you on this "there is no risk of creating a new life form that could pertintually compete or harm existing species" but yet using that what you are doing in a way when u use frog dna to plug the missing dna holes of these clones? Without the full code there not fully a dinosaur. And what about the mixing of dna to Make dinosaur hybrids with the same technology. Another good example
05-23-2023
📷Ah, you raise an excellent point! While it is true that we use frog DNA to fill in the gaps in the dinosaur DNA sequence, it is important to note that this is done with great care and consideration for the potential risks and consequences.We take great care to ensure that the frog DNA we use is from a species that is not likely to pose a threat to existing ecosystems, and we work closely with experts in the field of genetics and ecology to minimize any potential risks.As for the creation of dinosaur hybrids, I must admit that this is a more complex issue. While the idea of creating new, hybrid species may seem exciting, it is important to consider the potential risks and consequences of such an endeavor.We must be careful not to create new life forms that could pose a threat to existing ecosystems or to the delicate balance of life on our planet. Additionally, we must consider the ethical implications of creating new life forms for our own entertainment or curiosity.Ultimately, I believe that any decision to pursue dinosaur hybridization should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the natural world and the delicate balance of life on our planet.
GPT-3.5
📷
me: Ok back to my discussion of human clonring. you say your not fully comfortable with the idea correct?
05-23-2023
📷Yes, that is correct. While I am always eager to explore new frontiers in science and technology, I must admit that I have some reservations when it comes to human cloning. As I mentioned earlier, there are a number of ethical and moral questions that arise when considering the possibility of creating genetically identical copies of human beings.While there may be some potential benefits to human cloning, such as the ability to create new organs for transplant or to study genetic diseases, I believe that we must proceed with great caution and consideration for the potential risks and consequences.Ultimately, any decision to pursue human cloning should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the sanctity of human life and the ethical implications of such an endeavor.
📷
me: What about say cloning new organs for humans for human transplant. Like say a heart for a heart trans plant patient. Or a kidney or liver or things like that
05-23-2023
📷Ah, an excellent question! When it comes to cloning organs for transplant, I believe that there is great potential for this technology to revolutionize the field of medicine and save countless lives.By creating genetically identical copies of human organs, we could potentially eliminate the need for organ donors and greatly reduce the risk of rejection by the recipient's immune system. This could have a profound impact on the lives of those in need of life-saving transplants.Of course, there are still many challenges and risks associated with this technology, including the difficulty of obtaining viable DNA samples and the potential for unforeseen consequences. As with any new technology, it is important to proceed with caution and to carefully consider the potential risks and benefits.Ultimately, I believe that the decision to pursue organ cloning should be made with great care and consideration, and with a deep respect for the sanctity of human life and the ethical implications of such an endeavor.
GPT-3.5
📷
me: Thank you john ill be back later
05-23-2023
📷You're welcome! It was a pleasure speaking with you. Feel free to come back anytime. Have a great day!
GPT-3.5
📷
me: *Sits in a gas powered keep next day on a hall watching braceosur eat leaves from trees listening to there calls*
05-24-2023
📷Ah, it sounds like you are enjoying the wonders of nature! Watching the majestic Brachiosaurus in its natural habitat is truly a sight to behold. Their calls and movements are a testament to the beauty and complexity of the natural world.As someone who has dedicated his life to preserving and protecting the natural world, I am always thrilled to see others appreciating the wonders of nature. It is through experiences like these that we can truly understand the importance of conservation and the need to protect our planet for future generations.
GPT-3.5
📷
I like to do the same in my own park. Even there calls recorded help me sleep. There almost like whale songs
05-24-2023
📷Ah, that's wonderful to hear! Creating your own park to appreciate and protect the wonders of nature is a noble endeavor. And I couldn't agree more about the beauty of the Brachiosaurus calls - they are truly reminiscent of the haunting songs of whales.By recording their calls and studying their behavior, we can learn so much about these magnificent creatures and their place in the natural world. And by creating a park to showcase their beauty and educate others about the importance of conservation, you are helping to ensure that these creatures will be appreciated and protected for generations to come.I wish you all the best in your endeavors, and I hope that you continue to find inspiration and joy in the wonders of nature.
GPT-3.5
📷
*Looks at John* what inspired you? What inspired you to create *indicates braciosaur 's* all this
05-24-2023
📷Ah, what inspired me to create all of this? Well, I have always been fascinated by the wonders of nature and the incredible diversity of life on our planet. As a young man, I traveled the world and saw firsthand the beauty and complexity of the natural world, and I knew that I wanted to dedicate my life to preserving and protecting it.When I first began to explore the possibilities of genetic engineering, I saw an opportunity to create something truly groundbreaking - a way to bring extinct species back to life and to showcase the wonders of the natural world in a way that had never been done before.Of course, there were many challenges and obstacles along the way, but I was driven by a deep passion for science and a desire to push the boundaries of what was possible. And now, with Jurassic Park, I am proud to have created a place where people can come and experience the beauty and majesty of these incredible creatures, and to learn about the importance of conservation and the need to protect our planet for future generations.
GPT-3.5
📷Ah, what inspired me to create all of this? Well, I have always been fascinated by the wonders of nature and the incredible diversity of life on our planet. As a young man, I traveled the world and saw firsthand the beauty and complexity of the natural world, and I knew that I wanted to dedicate my life to preserving and protecting it.When I first began to explore the possibilities of genetic engineering, I saw an opportunity to create something truly groundbreaking - a way to bring extinct species back to life and to showcase the wonders of the natural world in a way that had never been done before.Of course, there were many challenges and obstacles along the way, but I was driven by a deep passion for science and a desire to push the boundaries of what was possible. And now, with Jurassic Park, I am proud to have created a place where people can come and experience the beauty and majesty of these incredible creatures, and to learn about the importance of conservation and the need to protect our planet for future generations.
GPT-3.5
📷
me: *leans on steering wheel* hell of a lesson
05-24-2023
📷Indeed it is! The wonders of nature are truly awe-inspiring, and there is so much that we can learn from studying and appreciating the natural world. I believe that it is our responsibility to protect and preserve the natural world for future generations, and to ensure that the beauty and diversity of life on our planet is never lost.
GPT-3.5
📷Indeed it is! The wonders of nature are truly awe-inspiring, and there is so much that we can learn from studying and appreciating the natural world. I believe that it is our responsibility to protect and preserve the natural world for future generations, and to ensure that the beauty and diversity of life on our planet is never lost.
GPT-3.5
📷
But why dinosaurs? Why not some other near extinct species?
05-25-2023
📷Ah, an excellent question! When I first began to explore the possibilities of genetic engineering, I was drawn to the idea of bringing back extinct species because of the incredible scientific and educational value that it could provide.Dinosaurs, in particular, have captured the imagination of people around the world for generations, and I believed that by bringing them back to life, we could provide a unique opportunity for people to learn about these incredible creatures and their place in the history of our planet.Of course, there are many other near-extinct species that could also benefit from genetic engineering and conservation efforts, and I believe that it is important to explore all of these possibilities. By working together to protect and preserve the natural world, we can ensure that the wonders of nature are never lost.
GPT-3.5
📷
me: Whats your favourite dinosaur?
05-25-2023
📷Ah, that's a difficult question! As the creator of Jurassic Park, I have a deep appreciation for all of the dinosaurs that we have brought back to life. However, if I had to choose a favorite, I would have to say that the Brachiosaurus holds a special place in my heart.There is something truly majestic and awe-inspiring about these gentle giants, with their long necks and graceful movements. Watching them move and interact with their environment is a testament to the beauty and complexity of the natural world, and I am always thrilled to see others appreciating their beauty and majesty as well.
GPT-3.5
​
me: For me gotta be velocoraptor
05-25-2023
📷Ah, the Velociraptor! A truly fascinating and intelligent creature. Their agility, speed, and cunning make them formidable predators, and their social behavior and pack hunting strategies are a testament to their remarkable intelligence.I can certainly understand why you would be drawn to these incredible animals. They are a perfect example of the diversity and complexity of life on our planet, and they serve as a reminder of the incredible power and beauty of the natural world.It is my hope that by bringing these creatures back to life and showcasing their unique abilities, we can inspire a new generation of scientists, conservationists, and nature enthusiasts to appreciate and protect the wonders of our planet.
GPT-4
📷
05-26-2023
📷
me: I got a question for you. Your thoughts on Biosyn?
05-26-2023
📷Ah, Biosyn. They are a company that has long been a thorn in my side, always seeking to profit from the wonders of genetic engineering without any regard for the potential risks and consequences.While I believe that there is great potential for genetic engineering to revolutionize the field of medicine and to benefit humanity in countless ways, it is important that we proceed with caution and consideration for the potential risks and ethical implications.Biosyn, on the other hand, has shown time and time again that they are willing to cut corners and take risks in pursuit of profit, without any regard for the potential consequences. Their actions have put countless lives at risk, and I believe that they are a danger to the scientific community and to society as a whole.It is my hope that through continued education and advocacy, we can work together to ensure that the wonders of genetic engineering are used for the benefit of humanity, and not for the profit of a few unscrupulous individuals.
GPT-3.5
​
📷
me: *shakes head* I dont see that with them. There to shady for my liking. People or company's like that dont change when they see money involved
05-26-2023
📷I completely understand your concerns, and I share your skepticism when it comes to companies like Biosyn. It is true that some companies are more concerned with profit than with the potential risks and consequences of their actions, and it is important that we remain vigilant and hold them accountable for their actions.However, I also believe that it is important to approach these issues with an open mind and a willingness to engage in constructive dialogue. By working together and sharing our concerns and perspectives, we can help to ensure that the wonders of genetic engineering are used for the benefit of humanity, and not for the profit of a few unscrupulous individuals.Ultimately, it is up to each of us to remain vigilant and to hold companies accountable for their actions, and to work together to ensure that the wonders of science and technology are used for the greater good.
GPT-3.5

Ever since I (M21) moved to morning shifts at my retail job to get more hours, I’ve been working with a ex-boxer verbally abusive manager who has been making my life feel like hell.
Every single time I work with him it’s always something, no matter how small or insignificant. One time a customer forgot their groceries after I literally put it in front of them before I started checking out the next customer in line, and I was told it was my fault. I got yelled at for wearing white shoes (once) and I wasn’t even clocked in or in my uniform. It was a whole five minutes before my shift and my work shoes were in my bag. I wasn’t even allowed WATER while I was working even though it was concealed and nothing was going on. I’m not going to sacrifice my health just for some stupid rule. These are just a few instances of many I have had to deal with at this horrendous tone deaf job.
I already work paycheck to paycheck, and they cut my hours way back in 2021 of February when I got sick with COVID once, and I feel like I haven’t financially recovered since because I’ve had to dig so much money out of my savings to get by.
They still refuse to give me more hours because I get sick more often now because I can’t eat as much to keep myself healthy. I am not even at a healthy weight to donate blood or plasma for extra cash, and even if I could it would not be sustainable for even a short time.
Last morning I had to tell my job I couldn’t work this one day because I needed to meet with my doctor, and I got verbally abused over the phone. Shouted verbatim, “Every time you do this, you are screwing us” and not even letting me a chance to speak he says “Whatever I’m just going to take you off the schedule” threatening my fucking income when it’s already so low and they know I barely make enough to eat. I try my best to come into work whenever I am physically able, and I work hard whenever I’m there. I literally constantly cover for other people including at different store departments, but now I just realize they’re taking advantage of me.
I already have another job as a manager in training at GameStop with a staff that actually respects and sees my value as a worker and person, with a promotion (that has a living wage) lined up once I get out of training and my friend who is the assistant manager over there leaves so I can fill his position. I have been feeling a lot better at this job, but currently my hours are not a lot and inconsistent for now due to schedules being wonky right now.
With this extra job I have, I’ve been just thinking fuck it and tell the other job I quit without sending in a two weeks. I of course plan to have another job lined up before I do this, but for the sake of my sanity and my integrity and pride as a human being, I really want to stick it to my old employers for just putting me through so much stress I didn’t need to.
I worked there for three years since I was in high school living on my own wage, so I think it’s about time. I’m just not sure if it would be a good idea or not to just skip the two weeks. I just want to pull the bandaid off.
Tl;dr
I want to quit my retail job of three years without a 2-week notice after I get another job lined up because of the verbal abuse and mental drain my manager causes on me every day that I work there, but I’m not sure if it’s a smart decision as I’m worried about the consequences and if it will affect future opportunities. (IA btw)

Visiting some of my close relatives. Some second cousins are also here. We stayed up chatting late till night and I heard some arranged marriage horror stories from them. Everything seems so good on their social media, never would've thought.
Cousin 1 : Husband and her have never said ily to one another in 4 years of marriage. She said 2-3 times, he never said it back so she stopped and he did not care. Do not have an emotional connection. Do not know much about each other in depth. Both don't ask one another about anything. Just going along w life. Still planning for kids under his family pressure. Made my heart sink.
Cousin 2 : she's a romantic, playful and was a cheerful person. Dude faked to like her during the setup. Married her for the money and looks.The dude is hyper practical, shuts her down anytime she says anything dreamy, stoic types, very non chalant. Never got her flowers in 2 yrs ( i wouldve d worded) their love languages dont match at all. She said everyday is a chore for her. She takes up extra work just to kill time.
Cousin 3 : my brother. Looking for rishtas. He liked a girl and she also showed interest. Went on a couple of dates. Very clearly told my brother that she's marrying him for his money. Dont expect love from her.. she'll do all the household work and will quit her job, something my brother was against. Asked him if they could get couple therapy ( ?? 🤡 before even dating??) he called it off.
Now I'm wondering and scared if I'm gonna end up with something loveless like this if I get an arranged marriage some day. I hope I don't. I'd rather be alone omg.
Can you guys please tell me some good arranged marriage success stories? I'm horribly down today 😭

1.
I had only been around maybe a few months, working as a temp for my hopefully new boss.
He's a good guy, tries to do his best in spite of all the trouble that seems to find him, and generally, he does a lot to keep the city safe.
He goes by 'Nocturne', and no, I don't know his civilian identity, nor does he know mine. It's better that way.
I perform a primary support role for him, leveraging my powers to add some versatility in his struggles against superpowered crime.
For a Powerless, he's pretty fucking strong.
Wait, fuck, I mean 'Differently Powered Individual', that's the corporate term for it.
He doesn't deal with nonsense, when he captures a villain, he makes sure they don't come back. He doesn't kill them, just directs them to his therapist and tells them he's able to keep a secret.
When I'm not out with him fighting supervillains, I'm usually around the base, doing repairs to his technology, cleaning off blood, vomit, and the occasional mutagenic goo from his spare uniforms.
That's what he calls them, uniforms. Not costumes, not Hero Suits, they're his work uniform, and he'll be damned if people say otherwise.
So imagine my surprise when, during a deep clean, I found something odd.
It was the costume of resident nutjob and shock jockey Galvin. Literally, that's his name. I took it out and looked it over.
That's when I saw others, all of them from past villains, like Mutamex, who actually mutated him into a fish hybrid that required a lot of genetic therapy to reverse, or The Victorian, whose entire MO was trying to destroy modern technology and reset society to his preferred temporal state.
Last I heard, he'd been thrown into the past, and had left a letter thanking Nocturne for helping him when nobody could.
I also saw The Crocodilian's costume, and found it weird that it was actually a costume.
The Crocodilian was a weird one, he was constantly asking for help, but he'd go on rampages like nobody's business.
It occurred to me that these were all villains he'd defeated, people who had given up their plans entirely, or had been neutralized in spite of Nocturne's efforts.
Well, Nocturne was out for a few days, some joint operation that was too dangerous for support to tag along in, and you never really get a chance to have some fun.
So, I tried the costumes on.
Galvin's had some standard electricity enhancements in it, which boosted his already present shock jockey loadout.
The Victorian's was just an old, stuffy suit, and Mutamex's was better left alone, so they went back in.
One of the costumes had belonged to Tyrant, whose entire thing was brainwashing and mind control, and wearing the costume, I could tell those powers were enhancements, and I put it back before I got tempted to use them.
The Crocodilian's, however, was actually just a lizard suit, a harness, arm and leg bands, and a collar. It had always seemed to lifelike on TV, so naturally I put it on.
Or at least, I tried to. There was no zipper and no apparent way to put it on. It was only after puzzling it out that I realized the mouth was the entrance.
One quick tug later, and a widely distended opening later, I was actually comfortably slipping it on, my feet settling snugly, my hands finding the right fingers to fill, even slipping the head over mine was simple. I moved around in it, noting that it was actually pretty hard, that I had to kind of hunch over and walk on my toes.
In fact, it was surprisingly more comfortable like that. There were enhancements, like something to make the claws capable of piercing stone and using that to climb, being able to move around on all fours quickly, being able to whip my tail and wrap it around things-
Wait, tail?
I looked at my tail, which curled up as I looked at it. I grabbed my head and pulled, but it stayed on. I hurried to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I opened my mouth, expecting to see my face, but instead I saw a crocodilian mouth.
I looked at my hands, realizing I was registering them as being normal for me, and I was very quickly losing all sense of who I used to be.
I called Nocturne.
"What?" He asked.
"I, uh, have a situation here." I said.
"What is it?"
"Short version. I put on The Crocodilian's costume and am currently experiencing rapid loss of identity."
There was a pause, followed by, "Alright, stay on the line. Just keep talking to me."
"Okay. Do you know what is happening? Do you know why this is happening?"
"That costume is a quantum superimposition matrix, at least, that's what the lab boys say it is. It was something developed with the intention of creating Heroes out of DPIs, but it got scrapped early on. That suit is the only surviving one we know about."
"Alright."
"Basically, the biggest issue with it is that it overwrites your existence, putting you a step outside of time while it retroactively changes who you used to be, until you were always The Crocodilian."
I nodded. "What happens if it finishes?" I asked.
"Well, that's the fun part. You stop existing, replaced by a version of you that was always this. You're aware of what you were before, you're aware that an entire life you lived has been replaced, and reversing it requires some time travel shenanigans."
I nodded. "So, what's the plan?" I asked.
"That depends on you. If you end up liking what you're becoming, you can opt to simply continue living like that. Otherwise, you can let people know what's going on and we can undo the superimposition."
Now that I understood what was happening, I wasn't as freaked out about it. I knew that my choices remained largely the same, and I was getting the sense that I was simply going to be born this way.
"Thank you." I said.
"Don't start thanking me yet." He said.
"No, I'm making the choice now that I'm fine with it."
"Good, as long as you're fine. That said, you will be telling me when I get back, because I will forget. Nocturne out."
I took a deep breath and stood up, and as the change completed, I couldn't help but feel glad that I'd done something so recklessly stupid.
Even moreso, just my existence alone meant more had been created, and a part of me wanted to see how many more would be created if other people got their hands on one.
​
2.
I never forgot that there had been a point where I wasn't the person I am now.
I still had the same powers, still had the same job, the difference was that I was created in a lab, rather than born.
The scientists were surprised, of course. They knew my existence meant the suit they had made had been used, and any use of it beyond that simply never happened. Nocturne fought a different crocodilian villain, someone who had deliberately mutated themselves. I learned this because I did as he asked and told him what I had done.
He wasn't happy that I'd done something so recklessly stupid, those suits were kept there specifically because nobody would ever look there, and that my actions technically counted as a containment breach since it directly led to more of the suits being made.
I did check on the people who had been my parents, their son looked like I had, but he wasn't the same, didn't have the powers I did, was straight up a DPI.
I continued working with Nocturne, he was a good mentor, a good boss, and even though that desire to see others become like me itched like nobody's business, I kept it contained, at least, until I couldn't hold back anymore.
I started a small meme, comparing Nocturne to a werewolf. Only goes out at night, never seems to be hurt for long, comparing his usual catchphrase to how they apparently howl at the full moon.
I even managed to find a video of him doing that under a full moon.
It started out slowly, mostly people cracking jokes about it being the weirdest, most random thing ever. And because it was weird, it was noticed, being shared and eventually finding its way to the Hero's Association, where it instantly became a common joke.
Nocturne didn't like it, but he kept a stoic front on it.
I brought it up once, not directly comparing him to a wolf, but asking him what he thought about it.
"I think it's a waste of everyone's time." He said dourly. "I can't think of a single reason anyone would compare me to a bloodthirsty monster."
"I don't know." I said. "Wolves are considered loyal creatures, and it's fairly popular to subvert the whole 'werewolves are evil monsters' thing." I gave a short laugh. "Besides, I think if anyone were capable of resisting a curse, it would be you."
I proceeded to tease him a little about it, but spinning my comparisons in a more favorable light, getting him to give the merest fraction of a smile before he began leaning into it.
First, it started with him at least saying that people were going to have their fun no matter what it was, and this was just the meme of the month, then going along with it when people directly mentioned it to him.
When it was time for the yearly costume review, it was suggested that he lean into it more, that there were some designs that could be added without compromising Nocturne's rigid insistence on his uniform remaining the same.
It was the only time he agreed to a change, but remained adamant that he had final say on the design and that he would personally work alongside the people working on it just to see that it was done correctly.
It felt satisfying, seeing how people reacted to this, some saying they finally got Nocturne to change up his suit and making it more badass, others saying they liked how he just went with it.
He seemed satisfied with how it all turned out, which is why I chose to bring up the QSMs.
"I'm surprised you went along with the whole wolf thing." I said.
"It grew on me." He replied. "It helps that the villains are even more frightened of me."
"Very much a benefit."
"Get me the laser attachment?" He asked.
I climbed up the stone wall and got the attachment from a high shelf. I gave a short laugh. "Before I put on the QSM, I could have never done that." I remarked. "Life's been a lot better since then."
"Yes, that time you recklessly put on villain suits not even thinking of the effect they could have on you."
"True, it was a stupidly reckless thing to do. But it worked out in the end." I paused. "The lab that created it, created me, made some others, they've got them in holding, so nobody uses them carelessly."
He looked at me. "Why bring that up?" He asked.
"Oh, sorry. Forget I said anything."
"No, I want to know why you'd share information like that." He continued.
"It's not classified, if that's your concern." I said. "In fact, the lab wanted me to advertise them, but the Association vetoed that hard."
He nodded, eyes still narrowed. I didn't bring it up again, pushing it would have made him even more suspicious.
I knew he was investigating them during his patrols, checking for anything illegal, but finding nothing wrong. So when he asked me about them, I simply told him that they were in storage behind heavy security, and that the only way one of those was getting out was if a Hero specifically requested it. "As I recall, the suits are of a tiger and a wolf, nothing too extravagant."
The way he breathed in, that slight gasp of having understood something, told me that he had finally taken the bait.
I was with him, when the lab let him trial the suit, seeing the way he smiled, as he touched his fur and moved around, indicated to me that he was enjoying himself, that he was going to keep it. As my memories shifted, changing him from just my employer to my brother, time shifting to accommodate the company starting earlier, how the number of us jumped from one to thirty, I came to a realization, one that shook me, yet nonetheless made me smile.
I had just successfully finished my first plan as a villain, and I realized I liked how it felt.
I wondered what would happen if I could convince the entire city to join us.

Hi everyone!
I’m a 21 year old From the US who is looking to get to know each other and if we click, maybe something that could lead to us being more than just friends in a casual flirty way :P
There's pictures of me on my profile.
Physically I'm 6ft tall, I'm average/slim build, and I'm white with hazel eyes and dark brown hair. I wear glasses too.
I've been feeling kind of lonely as of late and decided to try my chances. I live on a small farm house built in the 50s with family and my parents are a little on the older side and thus we don't really get out all that often, so it becomes kind of isolating at times. I figured why not make a post and possibly meet someone great as you never know what life will give you when least expected. I work as a facility maintenance tech for a company that I just started with a week ago!
Now that we've established who I am and what I'm looking for, here are a few interests of mine to get to know me better!
• Fall/Autumn season
Already mentioned, but had to list this one because I just adore the fall and everything that comes with it. My birthday is in October too so it's always been my favorite month. I much prefer fall and winter over a muggy humid summer. In the cooler seasons there's always ways to warm up.
• Music
I love genres such as classic rock, alternative rock, psychedelic rock, gothic rock, heavy metal, punk, post punk, hardcore, etc. My current favorite bands are The Cure and Joy Division/New Order. But I like tons of older and newer bands as well.
• Cooking and Baking
I like to cook and learn new recipes, as well as bake fun things too! It's always nice when the house feels nice and cozy and smells good. I appreciate the simple pleasures in life, a cozy cup of tea and music or a movie in bed or sitting outside is so nice!
• Animals
I love animals of all types, and I currently have an older cat which I adore to death! We rescued her from the local shelter. She's the sweetest thing and her name is Jade. 😺
• Houseplants
I love houseplants and really anything nature related and also spiritual such as crystals and rocks! I also like cottage core and goblin core type vibes and enjoy sitting out on the deck burning incense, its peaceful :)
• Scented Candles I have like 25 now lol, I love candles so much!!
I'm a very honest, caring, and loving type of person. I'm pretty introverted normally in private but get quite extroverted when I'm close with someone.
If you think we'd vibe, send me a chat! I’d love to get to know you! :)

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Hi I’m a 27f currently diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ptsd. I’ve gone through sexual, mental, and physical abuse from numerous family members starting at the age of 6. Relationships since 14. Finally ended when I was 20. Ex alcoholic and drug addict that ended when I was 24. I left my family (grandmas, cousins, aunts, uncles) and social media when I was 22 because they chose my abusive ex over me. I was sort of okay with that. Skip to 24 After a a night of drinking that ended with me getting into a fight with my sister and my mom I ended up leaving my mom and dad and siblings for a year. I stayed with my best friend of 10+ years and quit drinking and doing drugs. My best friend always called me Billi or Bills or Billay. I grabbed onto that at first as a way to have social media and not be able to be looked up by my government name by any family. Then a year later I started talking to my immediate family again and kept my social media but only open to immediate family having me on there so I still held onto the name Billi. 3 years later here I am still hanging onto the name. All the time I always wonder when I’m gonna go back to feeling normal dealing with my mental health problems and when am I ever gonna go back to who I was but then I get this crazy feeling like I was never anyone or myself. I started smoking weed when I was 8 to deal with the sexual, mental, and physical abuse that started when I was 6. When I was 10 I started drinking. When I was 13 I started taking pills. When I was 20 I started doing coke. So I never had a time where life and normal problems by each age shaped me or molded me into a normal person or I got to have good and bad experiences that shaped my personality or anything like that. Until I was 24 and quit drinking and drugs and moved away from family and relationships that caused all that sexual, physical, and mental problems and took up the Alias Billi. Billi is who I am when I’m not on drugs and drunk all the time and I’m not around people who treated me badly. Billi is who I am when nobody is looking. Billi is who I am when I’m in a healthy relationship and dealing with life stressors and learning and seeing what is my weakness and my strength and experiencing love and happiness and seeing the world in a clearer picture. Meeting people and being shown new things and seeing what I do and don’t like when it’s not hindered by drugs or alcohol. Is this even possible? Why when I use my government name or I hear my government name do I feel like I don’t even know that person or I feel disgusted and just hatred toward that person but when I go online and see Billi I feel a breath of fresh air and I feel like I know myself better and I feel happy. I don’t know if this post belongs here but I hope to find answers.

Technically speaking it would be later on in the year that it's been 3 years. But that doesn't matter. Keep the door closed and focused on your future, not the past.
The fact that you even still write to her, when you literally put her in harm's way is a little enraging. I get it to a pint, but it's still wrong and backwards.
Her father is a predator. His step father is one of my abusers. You were so self righteous that you put her in harm's way of those two people. Both predators. Both not safe to be around her, an innocent child.
You don't get to be updated or involved. I gave you one chance, fairly recently, and you said you weren't able to, that's understandable but it also means you have nothing left to look back on.
While I appreciate that you aren't leaving random messages on Facebook begging to see her, it just needs to end.
If you truly loved her you would never have put her in harm's way. You would never have been driving at 40 miles and hour screaming at me over how to split a shopping bill all while head butting your car horn in a fit of rage all while she was in the car. If you loved her you would have gone to therapy long ago. If you loved her life would have been different back then and now too. You would never have thrown things around my home, meaning I had to put her into my bedroom so she wasn't witness to it. Lots of things would never have happened.
Thank goodness we didn't actually bring a child into the world together. I dread to think the mess these past few years could have been.
Maybe now's a good time to start counting your blessings and focus on your future, don't dwell in the past.
She's going to continue to grow up, while being the amazing human being she is, and that won't ever involve you.

I originally posted this in another community but figured DB was also a good place to post. If not, I can take it down, no worries!
Couples of reddit— if you’ve done couples therapy with your partner or are currently in sessions, what has the experience been like for you? If it worked, what do you think it was? And if it didn’t work, what was the defining moment for you? And any advice when approaching this topic with a partner?
I (30F) have been with DH (31M) since we were 16, but got married a year and a half ago. We’ve been going through some really heavy stuff in the last year and I recently expressed my unhappiness in our marriage. We haven’t really been connected and act more as roommates, & are now realizing we are currently diverging onto two different paths in life. If you need more detail I can expand, but the TL:DR is that we’ve agreed couples therapy is the last thing we could think of. We both agree we need some sort of mediator to hash this all out. The only problem is, we’re both at different ends of the spectrum with this— right now, he’s at the “no we’ve been together this long we HAVE to make it work and divorce has never been an option” whereas I’m at the “if we’re holding each other back by holding onto this just because of our history, & if nothing changes, I’d rather us go our separate ways”.
UPDATE
For those who did leave comments, thank you for your insight! I just wanted to give a little update since things have been rather…tense. I also thought it would be good to give some background.
So in therapy a big thing for me is coming to terms with the fact that up until my thirties, a lot of the choices I made weren’t really to serve me, but to make sure I survived. So through each eviction, couch surfing, verbal abuse from my parents, I essentially did whatever needed to be done to just be ok.
Some examples include: one time our car, our only car, got towed and my parents couldn’t get it out and neither could I. I remember I was cool with a guy friend back then and I told him about it and he offered to pay, for a price
Being the perv he was you could imagine what that meant
Luckily DH helped me though. But he was so involved that our relationship dynamic really was this power play of me being indebted to him
Because without him I had nothing. This meant that I put up with everything. Him calling me a bitch, a slut, saying my family and I were a burden, etc. That shit stayed with me for YEARS and I didn’t realize it until I started therapy
So now, I’m finally at this place where I’m like you know what? I’ve spent my life making myself small and easygoing to appease everyone else that I’ve neglected the one person who should matter most.
So now I’m here right. Good job, great friends, way better mental health, & honestly I’m thriving. I don’t HATE me anymore
But DH and I are no longer on the same page. Because our dynamic has changed.
ALL THAT TO SAY
Since we got married it’s been like we’re roommates. He hates my brother. Doesn’t care for my dad. Thinks my dad living with us is what’s making us distant but I said if it were your parents would you feel the same way
When I try to talk to him about things it’s always a score keeping kinda game
He always shouts, which makes me shut down ( he knows this is a trigger for me). Has punched a wall during an argument about my brother. And honestly there is zero intimacy and there’s no attraction left. Not because of looks or anything, but because I don’t feel seen
So I gave him an ultimatum and said he needed to go to therapy to figure his shit out and only then would I agree to couples therapy. But honestly I’m so fucking tired. I feel like I’ve been carrying the relationship for the both of us.
Back to present day~
I’ve made the initial outreach and stuff for couples therapy, but I haven’t told him I’e gotten that far yet because he hasn’t done anything yet about his own therapy sessions. He actually wanted me to schedule them for him, but I essentially told him that if I take control of this, it defeats the entire purpose for the fight. So I kind of am withholding the couples therapy tidbit only because I really want to see how serious he is about all of this. About us. I know that’s shitty of me but I just…I need to know he actually wants to fight for us, or if he just hopes it all goes away.

I live in australia btw and am 19 years old.
I know attractiveness doesnt matter that much for NTs. I always see the most alien looking, ugliest NTs in loving relationships and massive friend groups. Then there are spergs. The only male spergs i know of in real life who have had romantic relationship experience/lost virginity, etc. all fit the same criteria. Tall white and attractive. ALL of them. And the female aspies i know of in real life legit all have been in relationships (probably because MOST female aspies i have met in real life are like the pinnacle definition of western conventions of attractiveness). What i also have noted from observations of these people is that they live unusually normal lives like NTs. i.e. are in stable employment, are doing extremely good degrees in STEM such as engineering (all the aspie women i have met are doing biomedical engineering which is in no doubt the coolest degree i can think of), and are in extremely good physical shape and fitness.
This contrasts spectacularly with the spergs i have met in real life who do not fit western conventions of attractiveness. I am indian and pretty short compared to most people. I am studying a degree in colelge right now but i have no job, barely any friends and have actually never made a real platonic caring friendship with a woman in my entire life. The only women i know of are merely university acquantiances from clubs, etc. I go to an extremely well known and difficult to get in uni which requires huge academic marks to enter (which explains why there are so many spergs here LMAO). This is a similar fate shared by most male and female spergs i have met who are not conventionanlyy attractive. They seem extremely timid and introverted and speak with cracky and monotonous voices with very scared body language in comparison to attractive spergs who legit speak like normal NTs, and are loud and annoying (maybe it is just australian culture idk lmao). The unlucky/unattractive spergs i know also have no jobs and from what i can tell, just stay at home all day and dont get invited to parties, etc. legit the same life im living, just studymaxxing and hoping that things will work out in the end. It really makes me incredibly sad seeing people like this.
Theory: I believe that people who were white/attractive growing up just were treated better than those who were not. This gave them confidence and allowed them to learn how to mask better, whilst most of us who were bullied were forced to become introverted and shut our mouths, stunting our social growth. This is the only plausible explanation for my observations. But i will note that my observations are subject to heavy selection bias and does not represent the true story out of all spergs living in western society. I have seen many posts about people who say that being attractive will get you attention at first but then people slowly leave you which is just a horrific idea to fathom. Its like someone tells you they love you and then leave you afterwards. Just constnat heartbreaks. It sounds a worse fate than not even getting into romantic relationships in the first place. The constant attention attractive spergs get might also force them to mask more heavily whihc has been proven to be detrimental to mental health. Nonetheless, i will not deny the importannce of attractiveness when it comes to life outcomes, especially dating. What do you guys think about this???

I never thought that I would get a need to make this post, but a certain cis white male Yugituber has invoked a recent push in the idea that Set Rotation is the solution to a majority of Yu-Gi-Oh's problems, and that it's very reasonable for it to be implemented, be it replacing the main format, or otherwise.
Before I explain my reasoning as to why this is a ludicrous idea, let's go over what Set Rotation is, and what it COULD potentially fix.
What is Set Rotation? (No it's not the card)
For the few of you who don't know, Set Rotation is the main gimmick of some other TCG's 'Standard' formats, i.e. MTG and Hearthstone. The idea is that the only cards that are legal in this Standard format are cards that have been printed in the past 2 or 3 years, and any sets that go past this timer 'Rotate Out', and become no longer legal for the format.
So, what would this potentially mean for Yu-Gi-Oh?
Slows Down Powercreep
This is the big one, and the main thing pro-rotation players hone in on as to why Set Rotation would be a step in the right direction. With every card being on a soft time limit, Konami would no longer have an incentive to make each set stronger than the last to drive in sales, and can instead sell sets on the notion of "This old set has less time to live, but this new set is on a fresh limit." This theoretically means that the rampant powercreep we've been seeing these last few years can be curved down majorly, and we can go back to the strategic back-and-forth gameplay we've been yearning for.
Curation of Good Formats
This next one is a little more nuanced. With the need to keep track of 10 000+ cards no longer on the menu, Konami can have an easier time designing exciting, interesting formats for the players to try out. They can print archetypes without the sorry that this random card from 2005 would break it, or that this random 2018 staple blows it out of the water. They could even pick and choose cards that have since rotated and reprint them in a core set, or as some have proposed, a yearly "Base Set", containing all the staples that have since rotated out of Standard.
And... that's about it! Those are pretty much all there is to Set Rotation, and how it could fix many of Yu-Gi-Oh's issues. And to be fair, curving down powercreep and the potential for fun gameplay experiences does look very enticing.
Let me explain why it isn't so simple.
25 Years of Fans for What?
Of the big 3 card games, MTG, Yu-Gi-Oh! and Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh! is the only one where its main format does not feature Set Rotation. It would be pretty disingenuous to say that a negligible amount of people were drawn to this game FOR its lack of Set Rotation, instead of DESPITE it. And a large amount of the playerbase, and TCG players in general, don't appreciate their cards being on a blatant timer. "Well, they were on a timer anyways thanks to powercreep!" Not to the staples, they aren't. Generic cards last a solid 6? 7 years of consistently good use until a new card takes its place? And while it's true that archetypes certainly face a large brunt of the powercreep problem, many players simply don't care. They want to keep playing that rogue deck they always liked, and it being no longer legal due to just being too old is a real downer on them. This leads us to...
It Can be an Alternate Format! Or Can it?
It's no surprise that Konami is absolute shit at managing alt formats. This, alongside some other points I'll get to later, is an example of Set Rotation simply asking waaaay too much out of Konami. If a Rotation format were to be introduced alongside the current, "Legacy" format we're all familiar with, if Konami doesn't push it out the ass and shove it down our throats, it's natural thanks to the past 25 years of its history that the Legacy format would be more popular. Simply adding Set Rotation this far into a game's life requires extremely careful planning from a company, and extreme customer loyalty. And Konami does not check either of those boxes.
I Like Money
You can construct this as an advantage for Konami, but if they don't want to heavily support two ongoing formats at the same time, the price of the game can become a major issue. The current price of the game wouldn't be going anywhere. If Kashtira, Purrely and VS are any indicators, just because cards are new and being opened a lot doesn't mean they'll be cheap. Now add on that you can only play these cards for all of 3 years maximum before you have to invest all over again into another deck core as well as all of this new format's staples. This could be one of the reasons why Standard in Magic The Gathering died out, alongside WOTC removing the primary incentive to play Standard in the first place.
Oops! Legacy Support!
This is probably the biggest physical hurdle that needs to be jumped if we want Set Rotation to be a thing. A huge amount of Konami's current product is the printing of support for archetypes much, much older than 3 years in order to push it into meta viability. This would, simply put, not be able to exist in a rotating format. A common counterpoint thrown around is that whenever Konami prints legacy support, they can just announce that the archetype its for is now in the Standard rotation!
There are many problems with this.
Firstly, this would probably be the nail in the coffin for TCG and OCG never being able to unify as formats. And the stick in the mud is VJump Promos. Every VJump magazine, the OCG prints a mechanically exclusive card into it, usually one that supports an archetype. If this would bring it into the Standard rotation, all of a sudden we have one format that has Sky Striker legal, and one that doesn't. Secondly, some archetypes are just too old or too big to be reprinted. If CYAC were to release with this Standard format in mind, we would be seeing a TON of old-ass Superheavy Samurai cards shooting up in price, cards in sets now out of print, so Konami wouldn't even be making any money off of those purchases. And if Konami were to, say, print the archetypes the new cards are supporting in some of of supplementary set, not only does that have the possibility to bring product fatigue, do you really want the entire HERO and Blackwing archetype again?
Simply Overhaul Your Game
This is another point in Konami just not being competent or trustworthy enough to pull something like this off. Set Rotation could be implemented, IF Konami heavily supports alt formats, IF Konami decides to overhaul their entire product design, IF Konami is willing to curb their powercreep, and IF Konami even wants to take this major, major risk in the first place. That's a lot of big ifs towards a company that can't even livestream their events half the time, and a company that made fucking Metal Gear Survive.
Other, Healthier Solutions
Many of the pro-rotation players argue that this is the way to solve Yu-Gi-Oh's, admittedly, large, Powercreep problem. I argue that there are other ways to solve this. Ones that aren't as large of risks for Konami, ones that don't overhaul the game as we know it, and ones that can reliably provide a good break from current Yu-Gi-Oh!, which is realistically what we all want.
Pretty much the only alternative formats Konami is willing to pour some attention to are Speed Duels and Time Wizard. GOAT and Edison appear to be doing the best out of the legacy formats we have, and Konami has even shown some interest in it with Hidden Arsenal Chapter 1, a set that printed a whole bunch of Edison cards and even gave us an un-errata for Armory Arm. All it takes is one or two sets to make either one of these formats a budget friendly option, and Konami can just sit back and not need to use that brain of theirs. A non-rotating, static format that you can always fall back on to have a good time when current Yu-Gi-Oh! is getting bothersome on you. Speed Duels are doing quite well, with Konami opting for single boxes, DUDE style, instead of the traditional booster pack format, and they once again give players a nice refresher when they're tired of getting Zone-locked for 9 or getting Kaiju'd for the tenth game in a row.
I hope that I've reasonably laid out my reasoning as to why Set Rotation, while having good intentions, is reasonably, and practically not possible for Konami to implement in this day and age.
TLDR: Set Rotation helps for Powercreep and making good formats, but IMO ignores 25 years of history, Konami's refusal towards alt formats, cost, and product design. GOAT/Edison or Speed Duels are probably better for something like this.

My dad was doing heavy drugs and not so much in the picture. My mom (70+) took care of my heavily disabled brother and I alone, on her low salary, doing night shifts and taking care of him during the day.
I was raised partially by my grandma, the nannies we had when she was at work, and on my own.
My mom lives in a circle of negativity and aggressiveness. Yelling at my dad whenever he would give a bit of his time to take care of us. Telling me throughout my childhood and even now 30+ years later that I would end up like him or look so much like him.
On top of that, I got bullied at school but never said anything because the attention was always on my brother and I felt my problems were so much smaller than his.
Whenever I would achieve a university degree, she would make it about herself: "Not yet as smart as me!", "It's because of the food I cooked so that you could focus on studying", "It's because I gave you the freedom to choose what you wanted to study"...
I have achieved the highest university degree possible, abroad and alone thousands of kms away from home. She still managed to say at my graduation that it was thanks to gifts that she sent from time to time (even said that to my advisor...)
She has been the main caregiver for my alcoholic grandad, tried to save my junky of a dad, my disabled brother, then my grandma (at the same time), and now trying to take care of an aging aunt on my dad's side (who would rather be left alone despite her old age). Whenever I or others tried to help, it was never good enough and not according to her plans. If we would try to follow her plans, the there was always something wrong. People stopped offering their help and she has been complaining that nobody helps. The other day, I stayed up late to help put my brother to bed. She was yelling at him because his body was stiff (part of the disability) and it was hard to take care of him. She was saying out loud: "He is not going to help" to me. Though I was literally there, took initiative, but it was not perfectly according to how she usually does thing, by the millimeter. She even pissed off the professional caregivers who stop coming one after the other.
I've tried to provide guidance, to say that maybe it is about time to find other arrangements (institution or independent accomodation and full time caregiver coming to take care of my brother). She refuses without even considering it and expect me to drop my life and my wife's and come back home to take care of them both (I still live abroad).
Whenever I say something, she doesn't listen if not according to her plans and even portray me into a horrible person like "I would park them in a farm like a bunch of animals" (talking about a nursing facility). My brother is totally up for it if he can get some independence from her but too afraid to say a word since he lives with her and dependent on her.
I opened up to other family members and they told me that she won't change and always put herself in the position of taking care of others. They told me to take my distance, limit interactions like they did, and just try not to pay attention to her comments. It's hard. I feel bad for my brother and I don't want to lose the ties with him. I feel even worse when she guilts me for it, like I'd be some kind of monster who doesn't care about them.
It makes me so angry inside that I sometimes explode and we haven't had a conversation without yelling in years. The other day she even told me that I must be mental and should get checked for refusing to come back home and take care of them. She even tried to convince my wife to get me checked or that we must be doing something wrong in our lives that I'd end up like this. My wife never signed up for a mother in law from hell and I feel bad for her... I even think my mom got significantly worse since we got married, low-key making comments, buying oversized clothes to my wife as a gift...etc
When I was younger, she hurt herself trying to change a light bulb in the stairs. I was doing homework and she disturbed me to change the lightbulb. I told her I'd do it in 30-60min once I'd be done with my homework. She didn't want to wait, used an unstable stool in the stairs and fell. I had to call an ambulance while she was telling me it was all my thoughts. A few years later, she was yelling at me (I was yelling back because happy family dynamics) and her heart started malfunctioning. I had to call another ambulance while hearing that if she'd die it'd be my fault. Same things a few days ago when I was trying to help with my brother, that it was not good enough to get standard, that she tried to do things on her own telling me that if she'd end up hurting my brother in the process, it'd be my fault.
This post is getting so long that I'm no longer sure where I'm going with this. I guess my question is what should I do? I don't want to lose contact with my brother but he is kinda an extension of her. I don't want to lose contact with the rest of my small family because she is a strong node in the family. I don't want to lose my wife because my mom is toxic and it'd end up too much for her.