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This is my (24f) first ever vacation on my own, I'm going to visit a friend that moved away. I already have plane tickets and she is letting me stay at her house (near Virginia Beach).
No one can give me a good estimate on how much spending money I should set aside for food and souvenirs. I think I have most things in order to go on this trip I know I need to set aside some money for my dog to be boarded but as far as the actual trip- my friend is extremely frugal (as am I) but bc she hardly goes out and does anything herself she isn't giving me a good estimate for a food budget.
I don't need to eat out every night but I'd like to gift her and her spouse some money for hosting me too, maybe pay for their dinner one night, and whatever of theirs I might use.

I’m looking for a job and there’s a cvs near my house. I was looking at their job listings and I saw Pharmacy Tech and the requirements were: “Must be at least 16 years of age Licensure requirements vary by state. Learn more by visiting your state’s Board of Pharmacy website or asking the hiring manager”
Idk if I’m misunderstanding but, can literally anyone be a pharmacy tech?? Like you don’t need some kind of special school qualifications? If I apply they’ll just train me there for whatever they need me to do? Am I basically just an assistant? How much is starting pay generally?

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My wife and i are about go to local swinger club for the first time. The reason for this isn't meeting new couples (not in near future at least) but rather to engage in some play while being in "public". We thought that swinger club would be perfect choice for it because it gives us the feeling we are asking for, but on the other hand we wouldn't be doing anything illegal. We have nothing against meeting some couples and talking to them,learning their experiences and maybe some tips about lifestyle,but that's about it.
Do you think swinger club would be the right choice given our preferences?
To my second question, i have read the rules of mentioned swinger club online. They are all common sense but something made me thinking. They say something along the lines that sex is allowed everywhere inside the club except for the balcony. But how do we handle body fluids? Who cleans that up and how? When? And if we are the ones to take care about it (what i would expect) how is it done and where do we get the wipers or whatever?
Also,when i say that we are not interested in other people for sex,it isn't entirely true. My wife does have something she would like to try but it's so specific that i didn't need to read the FAQ here to know that it almost certainly won't happen. Without going into too much details,needing other woman for it has led us thinking that paying for it would be easiest way of doing it,because where we live it's perfectly legal.
What do you guys and girls think?

"Would you like to have a near-death experience? By crossing the boundary between life and death."

Yukari Yakumo

Themes:

• Necrofantasia:
  
• Night Falls ~ Evening Star: 7.5, 10.5, 15.5
  
• Yorimashi Between Dreams and Reality ~ Necro-Fantasia
  

Yukari Yakumo is a legendary youkai with the ability to manipulate boundaries. She is one of the sages who created Gensokyo in the first place, and a good contender for its most powerful resident. Despite this she is also exceptionally lazy, spending most of her time sleeping and foisting most of the problems off on Reimu or Ran. Still, her incredible intelligence and completely inhuman nature means one can never tell quite what she's thinking, and making her angry is a very bad idea.

Notes

• Source Index
  
• Perfect Memento in Strict Sense and Symposium of Post Mysticism is an in universe book written by Hidea no Akyuu. She has a tendency to exaggerate and speculate, so her claims should be taken with a grain of salt.
  
• Yukari herself is noted to lie quite a lot, so her own claims should also be taken with a grain of salt.
  
• In 15.5 Yukari makes use of the urban legend Teke Teke, but her attacks while using this urban legend are fairly in line with her normal capabilities. As it's unclear what effect the Urban legend is having, these feats will be included in this section but marked with Occult
  
• Yukari scales to a large number of characters, so here is every Touhou respect thread for the games
  

Defining Some Terms

Spell Card System: The Spell Card Rules were put in place by Reimu Hakurei in order to make duels between everyone fair, formalized, and safe. It is also the method nearly all Touhou characters will use in-character. Spell card battles have very clearly defined rules and attacks that are agreed upon before a duel with the purpose being that the most beautiful attacks win. In general Spell Cards are characters going easy on the foe, with ZUN outright stating they're not something the characters would ever use if they were serious.

• Given the original rules of spell card battles and a characters being introduced to the spell card system stating it would prevent useless bloodshed, there is at least a decent amount of implication that Spell Card battles are inherently non-lethal.

Danmaku: Danmaku are the "bullets" fired in a bullet hell, take many different forms, and are able to be fired by most Gensokyo citizens. They're an essential part of duels in Gensokyo, being used to control an opponent's movement and overwhelm them. They can either be fired in intricate patterns, or just fired rapidly from a single point.

• Danmaku is intentionally not efficient or effective for serious combat
  
• Danmaku in general can be lethal to normal humans
  
• Danmaku from major characters is very consistently able to break rock
  
  • Seija is considered notably weak
  • Sanae is considered nothing special as far as humans in Gensokyo are concerned

Youkai: Supernatural beings typically born from humanity's fear of the unknown, and the primary residents of Gensokyo. Youkai can be highly varied, but tend to be highly resistant to physical attacks while far more weak to spiritual attacks, such as names and traditions.
Gensokyo: Genoskyo is the region Touhou takes place in, and is a small landlocked region of Japan. It is fully enclosed by the Great Hakurei Barrier (more information bellow). The clearest picture of it shows it containing a few mountains, with it also being noted Gensokyo is small enough to see almost all of it from the Hakurei shrine

• The Sages of Genoskyo (of which Yukari is a member) are the beings responsible for the creation and maintenance of Gensokyo

Urban Legend Incident: Due to the occult balls various Urban Legends begin to manifest in Gensokyo, and some characters are capable of controlling an urban legend in battle that matches their tempermant. It's worth noting that the effects are present even after the occult balls are removed from Gensokyo though Reisen notes it will soon settle down.

Boundary Manipulation

General Description: Summarized, Yukari's power allows her to manipulate the boundary between any two things.This can apply both to physical boundaries (such as between Gensokyo and the outside world), or even the boundary of concepts (such as human and youkai or night and day).

• Both her profile and she herself state that she can manipulate the boundary between any and all things
  
• An official magazine says her power can affect anything, and that for narrative purposes she has to limit herself to the spell card rule or it wouldn't even be a game
  
• The manual states the danger and potency of her power is beyond imagination
  
• Akyuu states that her power fundamentally undermines reality. She states that it can create new existence and reject existence, is the most powerful ability held by any youkai. Additionally she states it can be applied to pictures, peoples dreams, and even stories
  

Direct Combat Usage

• Feats/Statements
  
  • Being able to draw boundary lines along surfaces means there is nothing she can not split in two
    • Sumreiko comments on her seemingly cutting space, with opening gaps in space also being her main method of transportation (see below)
  • Her barriers can destroy large amounts of enemy danmaku and damage her foes
  • Creates a large boundary around the entirety of Suika's mist form, and then suddenly makes it much smaller to force her back into her physical form.
    • Suika's mist form covered all of Gensokyo
• General
  
  • Uses a barrier to block enemy danmaku and strikes
  • Creates a boundary line with her strikes to hit her foe
  • A fan granting her powers is able to crash through all obligations, directly hitting a foe while they're guarding
• Skills
  
  • Boundary of Intellect and Feet: Runs a straight boundary to split her foe
  • Universe of Matter and Antimatter: Creates two gaps that do nothing on their own, but when they collide they create a huge distortion attack
• Spell Cards
  
  • Border Sign "Quadruple Barrier": Creates several overlapping boundaries to produce a barrier that can strike foes
  • Sign I "Quadruple Barrier": Another version of the above spell card
  • Barrier "Charming Quadruple Barrier": A larger version of quadruple barrier that sucks the foe in
  • Boundary "Quadruple Barrier of the Imperishable Night": Creates a larger quadruple barrier to protect herself and attack her enemy
  • Border Sign "Boundary of 2D and 3D": Creates a boundary that travels along the screen edge and changes directions to follow the movements of the screen
  • Barrier "Objective Barrier": Fires off four linked borders that travel along the edges of the screen
• Last Word
  
  • [Occult] Lend Me Those Beautiful Legs!: Locks her foe in place with boundary lines and then uses a gap to split them in two before putting them back together

Gaps and Warping

• Feats/Statements
  
  • General
    • Able to travel to entirely different locations by opening up gaps in space, with (according to Akyuu) it being said that this can also access pictures, dreams, and even stories
    • Can open gaps in thin air
    • Opens up a large gap, and is gone when it clears away
    • Repositions a gap to use as a seat
    • Spiriting away Kosuzu doesn't leave a single trail any other youkai can follow to locate her, not even leaving a trace of her soul behind
  • Travel/Range
    
    • Uses gaps in space as her main means of transportation, with her warping around Gensokyo, up youkai mountain, and even to and from heaven (though how direct these trips are isn't clear given how the time of day changes)
    • Reimu states Yukari can travel anywhere she wants to in a flash
    • Is able to freely travel past the Great Hakurei Barrier into the outside world, and pulls Rinnosuke back into Gensokyo after he's accidentally pulled into the outside world
      • Casually travels out of Gensokyo to see cherry blossoms
      • Comments to Mamizou about what's currently going on in Sado
      • Sends Sumireko and dream Sumireko from Gensokyo to the outside world
    • Off screen travels overseas and brings back a Hobgoblin, which she states are a Western creature
    • Instantly sends Marisa from the Hakurei shrine to the forest of magic
    • Easily travels to the netherworld (though in Gensokyo the netherworld is a location you can physically travel to
      • Summons Ran and Chen to her while within the netherworld
    • Suddenly goes from behind Luna to in front of her
    • Disappears to somewhere... literally
    • Placed a gap in a doorway so that Flandre traveled from the Scarlet Devil mansion to deep underground without even realizing she had done so
    • Pulls Sumireko out of the dream world (though Doremy implies this isn't something she's supposed to do normally)
      • Reimu refers to the dream world as another reality that is two sides of the same coin with the real world
      • Is often lurking in the dream world
  • Utility
    
    • Claims to have an undending supply of electricity, kerosene, and nitroglycerin, and fills up Rinnosuke's heater with fuel while having a conversation with him, without him even realizing she had done anything
    • Covertly drops money into the shrine's donation box while having a conversation with Reimu
    • Puts a hand through a gap to block a hammer and grab a gameboy
    • Makes food disappear from right out from under Reimu's nose
    • Summons other characters like Reimu or Chen
    • Reimu implies Yukari can send just some body parts through the Great Hakurei Barrier
    • Left her arm dangling through a gap while asleep, and then puts her hand through another gap to douse a candle
    • Hid some of her own energy inside of a gap to revive herself after having all of her magical energy drained by Mizuchi's possession. Though she states it will soon run out and she needs to rest after. Also sticks her hands through gaps to grab cookies and wave at Reimu independently of her body
• General
  
  • Warps from one side of the screen to the other and grants Reimu the ability to do the same
  • Vanishes to dodge a spell card
  • Leans back into a gap while firing projectiles
  • Sticks her arm into a gap to strike her foe with an umbrella from another location
  • Drops into a gap and then appears in midair
  • After being knocked to the ground, creates a gap below and above her to redirect back to standing up
  • Opens a gap through which several pieces of wood fly out at her foe
  • Spawns street signs to attack her foe
  • Opens gaps through which rapid fire danmaku and lasers fire out
  • Summons a monstrous arm out of her gap to grab or strike her foe
• Skills
  
  • Rest on Stone, Rinse in Rivers: Opens up a hole that swallows up projectiles and stores them
  • Rinse with Stone, Rest in Rivers: Fires off stored projectiles
  • Chimera's Wings: Places a gap that she can then warp back to.
  • Fantasy Maniacal Rift: Disappears into a gap and keeps moving, before coming out to strike her foe
  • Flesh Dismantler: Drops down into a gap before leaping out while spinning her umbrella
  • Urashima's Box, Filled With Lament: Opens a gap in the sky to drop debris on her foe
  • Home is Where One Lays to Rest: Hits her foe with several pieces of wood
  • [Occult] World's Most Agile Torso: Uses a gap to send her upper body forward to attack her foe while her lower body remains in place
• Spell Cards
  
  • Evil Spirits "Yukari Yakumo's Spiriting Away": Repeatedly teleports around while firing off danmaku
  • "Boundary of Humans and Youkai": Vanishes entirely and attacks the foe with danmaku patterns while not physically present
  • Splitter "Thing That Splits All Into Two": Repeatedly jumps in and out of and moves through gaps while spinning her umbrella
  • Fantasy Nest "Flying Noctilucae's Nest": Opens up several gaps that fire danmaku forwards, always in the direction of the foe
  • Boundary "Overflowing Flotsam": Sends several pieces of wood flying at her foe
  • Abandoned Line "Aimless Journey to the Abandoned Station": Opens a gap through which an abandoned train comes from, though (in gameplay at least) it takes time to open the gap
  • "Unmanned Abandoned Railroad Car Bomb": Summons three train cars that fly into her foe before exploding

Great Hakurei Barrier

• The Barrier Itself
  
  • Feats/Statements
    • The Great Hakurei Barrier is a barrier of sense that surrounds all of Gensokyo, and keeps living creatures and their tools from passing through while allowing non-living things to pass through without issue. Via non-Euclidian space a person attempting to pass through the barrier will find themselves wandering endlessly, and they will find themselves back where they started upon turning around.
    • Even when Reimu and Marisa traveled to the moon they never left the barrier, and they consider getting through the barrier to be harder than going to the moon
    • Gensokyo is designed to be the opposite of the outside world, and things that contradict that concept cannot pass through the barrier
    • Akyuu states the barrier is a barrier of common sense and keeps the outside world's common sense outside, and that it's composed of multiple smaller barriers, but that it periodically weakens every 60 years
    • There is at least some difference in the seasons between Gensokyo and the outside world
    • Sumireko was unable to fully penetrate the barrier from the outside
  • Limits
    • Non-living things and certain creatures are able to pass through the barrier more easily
    • It's noted Remilia's scarlet mist would have spread past the boundary into the human world
    • Objects that violated common sense from the outside world being used on the barrier would threaten its very existence
• Manipulation
  
  • Yukari was one of the sages to suggest the creation of the Great Hakurei Barrier, though whether she's the actual creator is unclear. Reimu refers to her as the original creator but Yuyuko thinks the barrier is too strong for Yukari to make
  • States that she has torn holes in the barrier
  • Creates a powerful distortion in the barrier
  • Repairs the barrier after Reimu does something to weaken it
  • Whenever a human from the outside world wanders into Gensokyo, it's because of fluctuations in the barrier caused by her

Gensokyo's Boundary of Reality and Illusion

• General
  
  • Created a boundary of illusion and reality around Gensokyo, defining Gensokyo as illusionary and the outside world as real, so anything that becomes viewed as fantasy is pulled into Gensokyo, even from outside Japan. This was performed 500 years ago and still going strong.
  • Yukari seems to have at least some amount of awareness of those who enter and leave Gensokyo through this method
• Living Things
  
  • A snake wakes up in Gensokyo as soon as he transforms into a youkai, with Mamizou stating that when you turn into a youkai you wind up in Gensokyo. Said snake is potentially originally from India
  • When there's a demand for Zashiki-Warashi in the outside world they start vanishing from Gensokyo, and later return when that demand fades
  • New youkai created in the outside world immediately appear in Gensokyo as well, but due to not having a clear form they disappear just a quickly
  • Rinnosuke notes that Gensokyo is rather multicultural, as youkai brought with them foreign cultures as they were pulled into Gensokyo
  • A real life human shows up in Gensokyo after becoming a god
  • Animals that become endangered or extinct (at least in Japan) are more prevalent in Gensokyo
  • A completely ordinary seal winds up in Gensokyo after being forgotten while a youkai well integrated in human society could remain in the outside world
• Nonliving
  
  • Items that fall out of use in the outside world wind up in Gensokyo
  • People doubting or forgetting the moon landing is enough to cause several magazines about it to appear in Gensokyo as well as the Soyuz spacecraft
  • Lyrica implies that instruments and even noises can fall into fantasy
• Buildings
  
  • The Scarlet Devil Mansion is a western style mansion housing multiple powerful youkai that is assumed to have arrived in Gensokyo fairly recently, with Akyuu also noting that it seemingly wasn't designed for Japanese climates
  • Another western style mansion housing the Prismriver sister also exists in Gensokyo
  • Unused radio towers occasionally appear in Gensokyo
  • After Miko is forgotten by the outside world, her entire mausoleum arrives in Gensokyo
• Large Scale
  
  • Due to Kanako making it fall into fantasy the Moriya shrine and the nearby lake move to Gensokyo
  • According to legend the Bamboo Forest of the Lost appeared in Gensokyo after being washed away by a tsunami
  • It's thought (according to Keine) that Youkai Mountain in Gensokyo is the original mythical form Yatsugatake, before it had been torn down by a god, back when it was taller than Mt. Fuji

Misc

• Boundary of Reality and Illusion - Moon
  
  • Erases the boundary between the real and illusionary moon, turning a reflection of the moon in the water into a portal to the moon itself that allows for instantaneous travel
  • Can return to Earth by doing the same thing to a reflection of the Earth
  • Leaves the portal open by shoving an umbrella into it
  • The Watatsuki sisters state she can freely travel between the Earth and moon, and that she once brought a throng of youkai to the moon with her
  • Implies this can only be performed when the moon is completely full, and that she was trapped on the moon when the full waned more quickly than expected
• Netherworld
  
  • Weakened the barrier between Gensokyo and the Netherworld so Yuyuko could more easily enter Gensokyo. She is also responsible for its repair
    • The Netherworld's barrier weakening causes the boundary between life and death to become vague, with Youmu wondering if it's okay to leave the boundary between this world an the next so ambiguous, though Youmu also notes it hasn't changed up the natural order too much
  • States that she caused the borders between Hell and the Netherworld to fade
    • Both the Netherworld and Hell are massive, but it's not clear to what extent she actually merged them
• Lunar Capital
  
  • Breaks through the barrier of the lunar capital, but it takes her a while due to the complexity
    • This barrier separates the living fantastical moon from the scientific dead one, and requires a specific route in order to reach the capital
  • Opens a whole in the barrier hiding the house of the Lunar sage with her thumb, and leaves her glove in the gap so that Yuyuko and Youmu can later use it to enter the Lunar Captial
• Misc Conceptual
  
  • States she can manipulate the boundary between Gensokyo and the outside world, the worlds of the living and the dead, human and youkai, or even day and night
  • Claims she can give the immortal Mokou a near death experience by manipulating the boundary of life and death
  • States she thinned the barrier between human and youkai, possibly making Reimu a youkai temporarily
    • States she could set the boundary between human and youkai for Mai and Satano to make them one or the other
  • Manipulates the boundary between daylight and moonlight to cause both to happen at the same time
  • Makes the moon as bright as daytime by manipulating the boundary between day and night
  • Marisa speculates that Yukari manipulated the border between danmaku for play and danmaku for combat for one of her attacks
  • States she can easily manipulate the boundary between spring and winter
  • States she causes noctambulism (sleep walking) in humans by manipulating the boundary between asleep and awake
  • Manipulates the boundary of master and slave, causing both teams using perfect possession to swap said roles
    • Doing this required interfering with the dream world

Other Abilities

Note that a number of feats here potentially involve boundary manipulation, but it's less explicit
Energy Projection

• Feats
  
  • Individual needles can break rock, and destroy a large boulder with sustained fire
  • Effortlessly defeats the three fairies of light, throwing out projectiles made of light and non-light
  • Marisa considers Yukari's danmaku harder to deal with than Yuyuko's
  • Surrounds herself with rings of danmaku
• General
  
  • Fires out large amounts of danmaku in various patterns
  • Fires off danmaku in front of her with a swing of her fan
  • Attacks with lines of energy
  • Fires off several orbs trailed by lines of energy
  • Creates spirals of energy around her body
  • Using a bomb, unleashes a pulse of energy that knocks back her foe
• Skills
  
  • Purple Needles of Painful Reproach: Rapid fires needles in front of her
  • Bewitching Bait: Creates a bird's eye that high speed projectiles then fly through at random paths
  • Spacetime Seam: Creates a pulse of energy projectiles in all directions around her, possibly by cracking space
• Spell Cards
  
  • Standard Danmaku Pattern
    • Barrier "Curse of Dreams and Reality"
    • Barrier "Balance of Motion and Stillness"
    • Barrier "Mesh of Light and Darkness"
    • Evil Spirits "Dreamland of Straight and Curve"
    • Evil Spirits "Bewitching Butterfly Living in the Zen Temple"
    • Sinister Spirits "Double Black Death Butterfly"
    • Barrier "Boundary of Life and Death"
    • Yukari's Arcanum "Danmaku Barrier"
    • Outer Force "Infinite Superspeed Flying Object"
    • Border Sign "Boundary of Form and Emptiness"
    • Border Sign "Boundary of Wave and Particle"
    • Photon "Doppler Effect"
    • Aerial Bait "Hyperactive High Speed Flying Object"
    • "Yakumo's Nest"
    • "Impossible Danmaku Barrier"
    • "Casebook of Luck, Resilience and Perseverance"
  • Combo Attack with Others
    • "Perfect Possession and Dream Seal": With Reimu
    • "Boundary of Spirit Medium and Divine Spirit": With Reimu
    • "Secret God Barrier": With Okina
    • "Shoot the Danmaku Barrier!": With Marisa
    • "Unauthorized Danmaku Photography is Strictly Prohibited": With Reimu
    • Paper Sign "Barrier-Enclosed Zener Card Shuriken": With Sumireko
  • Misc
    • Aerial Bait "Addictive Bait": Opens several locations through which high speed projectiles travel from
    • Fantasy "Perpetual Motion Machine of the First Kind": Creates a perpetual motion device that automatically fires danmaku without her input
    • Spirit Medium's Melancholy: Fires off danmaku that only hits one part of a perfect possession duo
• Last Word
  
  • "Profound Danmaku Barrier -Phantasm, Foam and Shadow-": Creates an everlasting bullet pattern with her finger deciding its life and death

Shikigami: Shikigami are spirits that have been turned into tools via a patter, that have software installed to control them

• Feats/Statmenents
  
  • Has the ability to control shikigami, which like computers will follower her commands exactly. Her primary shikigami is Ran, who herself has her own shikigami Chen
  • Has shikigami possess various crows which she uses for scouting
    • A crow rapidly flies over large swaths of the lunar surface in what is implied to be a short span of time. Its flight is also described as unnaturally straight, with it following the special path required to reach the Lunar Capital with computer-like accuracy
    • [Limit] A crow is killed by being possessed exposed to the vacuum of space
  • Has eyes all over Gensokyo... literally, with this eyes noted to be her familiars
• Skills
  
  • "Apparotation Needle": Has Ran chase after he foes while firing off danmaku
  • Eyes that View Change: Opens a gap holding an eye, which attacks the enemy when it sees a weakpoint based on specific programming
• Spell Cards
  
  • Summoning Rand and or Chen to attack enemies
    • Shikigami "Ran Yakumo"
    • Sign III "Ran Yakumo"
    • Shikigami "Ran Yakumo +"
    • Shikigami "Chen"
    • Shikigami "Ran Yakumo & Chen":
  • Other
    • Magic Eye "Laplace's Demon": Opens up several gaps holding eyes which attack when they see an exploitable weak point

Umbrella

• General
  
  • Hits her foe by spinning her umbrella
  • Creates spirals of energy around her umbrella
• Skills
  
  • Bewitching Butterfly Lurking in the Zen Temple: Envelopes her umbrella in energy and spins it while slamming into her foe
  • Fantasy Manji-Parasol: Gathers spiritual energy on her umbrella, then spins and fires it off as a projectile
  • Full Moon Umbrella: Creates a ring of energy around herself with a swing of her umbrella
• Spell Cards
  
  • Sign II "Manji-Parasol of Yakumo"

Senses

• Sees the human village despite Keine attempting to hide it by trying to make it appear that nothing had ever been there by eating its history
  
• Youkai can see perfectly by moonlight
  
• Claims to see the backside of the moon bathed with sunlight, even during a new moon
  
• Detects that a tree is from the outside world
  
• Eavesdrops on Sakuya's conversation while not physically present, and speaks to Reisen before warping to the location
  
• Claims to clearly see the launch of the Scarlet Devil Mansion's rocket from a ways away
  
• Senses Eiki's presence
  
• Senses the weakening of the Great Hakurei Barrier while presumably asleep
  
• Realizes the Shinmyoumaru in front of her isn't the normal one
  
• Sees the outside world beyond the Great Hakurei Barrier
  
• Sees the flow of energy from living things and helps Youmu to understand it
  
• Able to see the god that Utsuho had absorbed the power of
  

After my most recent playthrough of Elden Ring, I felt like sharing my thoughts on one of my favourite questlines in all of Soulsborne, and this was better than writing into the void that is my notes app
When I did my first run, I stumbled upon this questline by happenstance.
Initially, I joined Ranni out of curiosity more than anything, especially after her disappearance from the Church of Elleh. It led me to fell a Demigod consumed by Rot, plunged me into one of the most breathtaking locales in any game and made me nearly go hollow due to a creature born from the stars. That's not even mentioning the Gargoyles who I initially thought blocked the way out of the Ancestral Woods.
What first started as mere curiousity by the end, made me genuinely feel like I was a part of them, striving towards the same goal. When the time came to down Blaidd, I respec'ed just to face him head on, greatsword to greatsword. Good boy deserved a true warriors death, arguably more so than even Radhan himself.
When the Elden Beast fell, I didn't even care about Lordship, I felt relief for having avenged Blaidd and Iji while helping Ranni tear asunder the system that broke two of the 3 people whom I considered akin to family in the Lands Between.
Now 800+ hours later and more characters than I can count, it's still the most memorable parts of this massive, massive game. Truly a masterpiece

Hello all, I will try make this as short as possible
I am 29 Y/0 athlete non alcohol drinker suffering with lower back pain for 6+ years now. Changed my whole life around when I stopped drinking and partying for a better and healthier me. Was told to “strengthen my core” after taking up fitness and CrossFit for 2 years I am now healthiest and fittest I’ve ever been. I have got a massive 6 pack so nothing is wrong with my core surely?? I can squat 155kg & DL the same. I have competed through pain and placed top 3 multiple times and my life is directed at being an athlete but I just can not train through the pain anymore. I also drive a lot with my job which is the worst position for it.
This journey has sent me crazy. I have paid privately here in the UK for multiple MRI scans & injections you name it ive paid. I am not a wealthy man and the stress & pain of it all has contributed to suicidal thoughts. I have come from a mental health back ground and this has contributed just as much as anything ive been through in my younger life.
I was told it was my L4/L5. So we went with treating that for 2 years. That is where I paid for all the scans, phsip and injections and nothing has worked. Randomly my doctor sent me for another scan and now it says I have L5/S1 nerve compression with left paracentral and predominant central disc protrusion. Now this is a new finding about 12 weeks ago and I can not get my head around why its only just shown up on scans. But I believe that is my issue as I feel the pain go away with seated support when I am decompressing my spine around that area. I have been told by multiple professors to get used to it and it will be for the rest of my life and its not the case by others and I just need to “strengthen my core”. I can not be any fitter if I tried I have massive back muscles but around my lower discs feels so weak how is this possible?. I have been bounced round for years. Physios to surgeons and I’m sick of it. I don’t know what to do and I need to be out of pain to get competing again. I have stretched and done everything else required with 0 improvements.
Surgery isn’t an option I really don’t want to be messed with and I believe that will set me back worse which I do not want. I just want to be normal again and to be able to train without pain. My thoughts now are to start again and go to a chiropractic center near my home who is offering scans and then to re-align. The start strengthen process again once I’m straight as they told me I have some serious imbalances. I feel I have done everything else and its sending me crazy I am not 1% better, if anything I’m worse. I am also on a waiting list for a nerve denervation but that’s is just a temp fix. I was just about to have it then the new finding was scanned & then told by the pain doc I need to see a surgeon for an opinion before he does anything. I want to be healthy and strong and never come back to this again. How can I be so fit and healthy but also so weak and in pain still? I feel so lost.
Sorry if this does not make sense im confused as anyone lol. but I am desperate and Im hoping there is some success stories to share. Please feel free to ask me anything, thanks

So some back story context:
I bought a BMW 4 series convertible 420d F33 in November 2020 from a private (non BMW) dealer. I done my first service from a BMW dealership and from then on from a private mechanic every 10,000 miles (I do around 22k miles/year).
In October 2022 the sound all of a sudden stopped working which I was quite confused by. Done some research and found out that there's quite a common problem with this model of vehicle where the water doesn't drain properly due a to manufacturing fault, and so the water had built up so high that it had reached the amp unit and fried it.
I booked a diagnostic with BMW in December 2022 who confirmed that this was a common fault and that the amp has indeed been damaged due to water ingress. Now at this juncture the car also had a vehicle safety recall which they had not been able to fix, advising that if they were to try and fix the recall that there was risk of the whole iDrive being broken.
They quoted me around £2000 to fix the issue, which I completely refused to pay as this issue occured due to no fault of my own. They took this up with their warranty team and they refused to take on any costs due to "vehicle age, milage and not bought from BMW network. I'm still baffled as to how any of these affect the problem with the car.
I then went on to complain directly to BMW via their customer complaints procedure who gave the exact same answer.
I am now stuck at this point, am I really liable for this manufacturing fault? Where do I stand with this? The water damage is causing more and more problems, the back windows tend to get stuck open, the recall cannot be fixed, I haven't been able to use my speakers for months. Do I have any leg to stand on?
Any help would be much appreciated.

I recently decided that I'd like to try playing through the mainline Assassin's Creed games - I'm a sucker for big stories and map checklists, so I'm really a prime candidate for this sort of series.
The first Assassin's Creed felt very much like a proof of concept: it was good, but the repetitive gameplay really started to become apparent by the time I hit the halfway point. I'd already beaten it years ago, so I decided I'd put it down and start on the second game, which is where the series REALLY finds its footing.
AC2 incorporated the feedback Ubisoft received wonderfully. The side quests are much more varied than the first, and the pacing is vastly improved.
What I like is how the game works in "open areas" rather than one giant map. So you've got maps for Florence, Venice, etc, that you can travel between. The maps expand outward as the game progresses, so the first time you're in Florence, you won't be able to go absolutely everywhere. This keeps things manageable and stops me from completely abandoning the main story to clear all of the errant icons.
It's not a perfect game - combat isn't all that engaging, with Ezio's parry being incredibly OP. The writing is very 2009, so you've got a QTE to take off a woman's dress, and lots of curse words in Italian. Desmond is the poster child for a bland protagonist (but we don't have to deal with him nearly as much as the first game). I also have to imagine that finding all 100 feathers is unbearable, so I doubt I'll be going for 100% completion.
Still, I'm really enjoying myself, and I like knowing I'll be done in 15-20 hours! Looking forward to seeing where the series goes from here. In the past, I have played AC2, and then put the series down until Origins, so we'll see what it all looks like in between.

Hello hello hello , i hope you are fine and doing great. If not you will be for sure. I like my stationary items a lot. I once got one pen from pen Hospital near masters canteen,i want that again but whenever i go i find that shop to be closed. It has been a long time i have been observing.Have they shifted? If anyone knows anything kindly let me know.
Best Easy7

When somebody suggests you commit arson together, your reaction is most likely to differ based on the identity of that person. If anyone else had asked me to come along to burn down a building, I would have assumed it was a joke. However, being aware of Frankie Preston’s barely suppressed murderous tendencies made me take his request quite seriously. Of course, three main questions presented themselves upon first consideration.
“What building?”
“A small developmental factory owned by FunFlair.”
“Do you plan on burning it while there are still people inside?”
“Only one, and that one deserves to burn alive.”
Shelving my thoughts on that answer for the moment, I inquired as to when he was hoping to go about this endeavor.
“The sooner the better. My sister—you haven’t met her—found out that they’re going to move sites in the near future, so if I want to take revenge on my old boss easily, I need to do it now. It won’t be too difficult. I know the layout of the place really well, they can’t have changed much these last three years. It’s small, hidden but unprotected. A bunch of containers in some woods a couple hours from here. The human I hate most in the entire world is there, every night, working all alone.” His shoulders twitched. “I drove by the place a couple times, and I kept thinking about doing it, but I was too scared. Having you there would make all the difference.”
“It would?” I echoed.
“Yes! Sunshine, you’re strong. Amazingly so. I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you, but the thing is, I can’t do this on my own. If you tell me to go away and never mention this again, I will. That I swear to God. Or whatever sadistic omnipotent being has put me on this world to suffer.” He briefly glanced heavenward, or rather at the ceiling, then back at me. “I can’t hurt anybody, remember?”
I nodded along slowly. “This person, your old boss… what did they do to you?”
“Simply put, she’s why I hate everything.” He spoke with an uncanny intensity, staring past me like he was miles away.
“Who is she?”
“Her name is Philomena Wallis. She’s the one who keeps sending people after me. She wants me back to do fuck knows what to me because she's still pissed I screwed her over." He paused. "She did—does horrible things. You'd want her dead, too."
"Why isn't she in prison?"
"Nobody gets taken to prison if they're rich enough. Either way, what she does isn't technically illegal… and no one knows about it either. It's a tricky situation."
I took a deep breath. “Do you have a plan?”
“I do. We’ll go there at night, I’ll slip in and make sure the door to Phil’s workspace is locked, and then we’ll douse the whole thing in gasoline.”
“Are you sure you’ll need me for that? It doesn’t sound like you’d be inflicting hurt directly. I mean, you wouldn’t have to actually raise a hand to your boss, not physically. Or can you not do that either?”
“The risk lies rather within what could happen if she finds me.” He rubbed his arm, a look of uncertainty crossing his features. “I’m different when I’m around her. I can’t help it, she… she can just walk all over me. She made me be this way. There’s nothing to be done about it, except to get rid of her once and for all.”
“I’m not following. She made you be this way? What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said!” he snapped, only to shrink back and raise his hands. “Sorry! I’m so sorry!”
I stared at him in silence for a beat. “You’re terrified,” I said.
He glanced at his chucks, then back at me, looking like he wanted to say something but didn’t know what.
“Sad, too,” I added. “Sometimes, I can’t tell what you think, so I apologize if I’m reading this wrong…”
“You shouldn’t have to guess what’s going on inside my head anyways,” he muttered. “I can’t believe what I’m trying to rope you into again. It’s like I didn’t hear myself talk for a minute there.”
“I’ll help you.”
He raised a skeptical brow. “I don’t want to force you. I swear I don’t. I will do this, and I’d feel so much better if you came with, but if this is something you’re gonna resent me for in the long run…”
“The long run?”
“I mean—” He started playing with his gum again. “Are we not doing this? You really like me, I think?”
“I think we shouldn’t be talking about this in the same breath as committing lethal arson.” I rubbed my nose before letting go of a long breath. “If I can’t stop you from doing this, I’ll at least make sure you come back out in one piece.” I wonder if this is how Nettie Peterson usually feels.
Frankie beamed. “You will? You’re absolutely sure?”
“Yes. Here’s the plan, I drop off what I bought for my savior human and then we can prepare; do what’s needed. I don’t want to put this off. The sooner it’s over, the better.”
“Definitely,” he agreed with an eager nod. “I’ll drive you right over.”
“Good. And Frankie… you know precisely how I feel about you.”
We got on our way the following morning. The car ride lasted several hours, most of which I spent fast asleep stretched out on the backseat. It was a wonderful nap; I hardly felt any of the vehicle’s movements, admittedly a credit to the server’s abilities as a driver. Eventually, the road was getting too bumpy to ignore, and I drowsily lifted my head to find us pulling onto heavily wooded terrain. Upon noticing I was awake, Fran gave me a fleeting, quite obviously forced smile. After a few more minutes, we came to a halt on a clearing. I got out and produced a canister of gasoline from the trunk, handing it to Fran after opening the door for him. He looked strangely absent, gazing off into the distance with a vacant look in his eyes. He grabbed the offered canister and clutched it to his chest, almost like he was hugging it.
“We’ll be going the rest of the way on foot, then?” I inquired.
He nodded wordlessly.
I couldn’t hide my frown. The air around us was warm and fragrant, the moonlight shining through between the branches that seemed to reach out for us as we began walking. There was not even a hint of a breeze, and yet, a chill ran down my spine. My companion’s demeanor was nothing short of uncomfortable; he seemed to suck the warmth out of the atmosphere around us, together with my initial confidence and the sweet scent of pine needles. His silence instilled in me a clammy sense of dread, and I couldn’t shake it no matter how hard I tried. Normally, I would have probably appreciated the perfect calm and serenity of the lush forest around us, but seeing him in such obvious, unspoken distress drove away all my idyllic thoughts.
“This seems like an odd place to hide a factory,” I remarked, trying to open a conversation once more.
“That’s the point. You wouldn’t go looking for a doll manufacturer in bum-fuck nowhere,” he replied.
“It’s strange to think about. What kind of shady stuff can a toy manufacturer even get up to? Don’t get me wrong, I trust you when you say they’re bad people, I just wish you’d give me a little more information. I feel like I’m not getting something here.”
He let out a low hum. “You… are really innocent.”
“No, I’m not,” I argued, affronted.
“Not in a bad way. I said innocent, not naive. I’ve been cagey again, I know that, but the thing is, you’ll see exactly what I was talking about when we get there. You’ll understand everything, and to be honest, I’m very afraid of what you’ll think once you do.”
We finally reached the building Fran had told me about. If it could indeed be called a building. It looked more like something that had been thrown together by a larva using Lego bricks. It was, as predicted, a bunch of containers lined up and stacked atop one another, small corridors and open metal staircases connecting them. It seemed to be almost entirely empty—all the lights were out, except for a single one. From behind a window on the upper floor, filtered through gray blinds, a cool, bright glow shone down upon us. It bathed Frankie in its surreal luminescence that seemed completely out of place given our raw, natural surroundings.
“You were right,” I stated, tearing him from his rigor. “Seems like there’s only one person in there.”
“That’s Phil,” he mumbled. “I’m certain.”
“Then let’s do this.”
Frankie detached himself from the canister, peeling it off his body like a piece of clothing. I took it from his hands while he walked over to the nearest door, reaching into his pocket to produce a set of shiny, slim tools. Despite the darkness, he set his fingers to work on the lock. It didn’t take long at all for him to let out a satisfied sound, straightening up as he held the now open door for me. “I’m very skilled at lockpicking,” he said lightly, by way of conversation.
I couldn’t hide the admiration in my gaze, and I gave him a proud smile that briefly caused his features to soften. I had not yet crossed the threshold when he grabbed me by the wrist, holding me back. “One more thing,” he whispered, his voice suddenly ringing desperate again, “you won’t like what we might see in there.”
“I know,” I answered. “It was implied.”
Stepping forth into the dark room, the smell of plastic and coffee instantly hit my nose. Fran fumbled for a lightswitch before thinking better of it and turning on the flashlight he’d brought. We were clearly in a breakroom; there was a table in the middle surrounded by chairs, an espresso machine in the corner and several calendars and posters taped to the walls. Unsuspecting. Frankie didn’t comment, immediately moving across the cube and towards the door on the other side. It led out into a small corridor, improvised using more corrugated iron elements, and into another larger container. There was a desk with a computer in one corner and an empty operating table in the center.
A large shelving unit occupied the entire left side of the room. A closer inspection revealed that it held all sorts of small parts, though what they were parts of was beyond me. Opening the plastic drawers at random, I glimpsed all sorts of metallic and silicone pieces, forming strange little… thingies.
“What is all this?” I asked Frankie.
He had been standing by the operating table, staring at it with unblinking eyes. His expression was once more perfectly vacant. Not even his jaw was moving around his bubble gum. He didn’t look up, and for a minute, I wondered if he’d heard me at all. “Doll parts,” he suddenly answered, his voice lacking any inflection.
I frowned, picking up one of the tiny metallic objects and inspecting it closely. I could see what he meant now—it appeared to be a very small joint, perhaps for a finger. “When you said FunFlair made dolls, I thought you meant these stiff little baby dolls. I didn’t know they made them this detailed.”
“Oh, they can be detailed alright.”
“Is this, like, a robotics thing? Can they move on their own, too?”
Frankie let out a sharp, mirthless laugh that was much too short. He fell completely silent again, and it felt as though the room had gotten colder. I bit my lip, placing the finger joint back in its box. I tentatively reached out to Fran and rested a hand on his upper arm, only for him to flinch, drawing away as if burned. “D-don’t touch me right now,” he pleaded.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed.
“No, I am. Don’t mind me, okay? Let’s—let’s just go on.”
So we did. Another makeshift corridor led us over into the next container. The beam of our flashlight cut through the darkness, revealing a sight that made me stop in my tracks. There were several bodies propped up in the corners of the room, bodies that I only realized on second glance were artificial. They were of roughly the same size as the average person, with fully formed arms, legs and everything. Their faces however were different. Most of them weren’t even fully complete, the skin-like material not fully covering their heads and leaving the mechanical structures underneath uncovered. Their eyeballs—sitting in hard plastic sockets and unframed by lids—stared out at us blankly, utterly void and expressionless.
Cold dread began to seep into my bones, paralyzing me for a second before I managed to break from my stillness. Taking a step towards one of the lifeless figures, I bent down to get a closer look. Keeping my distance, I reached out a single finger to trace along one of the countless delicate wires peeking out from the soft patches of facial material. It was cool to the touch, making my skin crawl. I pulled back, turning to Frankie in bewilderment. “Wh-what is all this?” I asked hesitantly.
“That’s them. That’s the dolls.”
“Well, yes, I can see that but this… this is really, really unnerving.”
He let out a strangled, mournful sound. “I guess it is,” he said eventually, his voice low and flat. He knelt down beside me, a little closer to the doll, and started fumbling around with the back of its neck, clearly looking for something. Finally, I heard a little click, followed by a whirring noise as the doll jerked up its arm. I squeaked, scrambling back on my hands and rear, only to find my back suddenly pressed up against the chest of another mannequin. I hadn’t done a thing, but it instantly sprang to life; robotic fingers clamping down around both sides of my nape. The painfully fierce touch wiped away every last bit of my composure, and I let out a shriek that seemed to tear apart the relative silence. Frankie spun around to fix me with the beam of his flashlight, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut. My heart was hammering against my ribcage, seemingly exploding when the hands started pulling me closer against the lifeless, yet animate body.
The next thing I knew was that Fran had leapt forward and removed me from the doll’s clutches with one swift, powerful yank. My chest was heaving and I couldn’t suppress a low whimper when I pressed myself to his side, frantically glancing about my surroundings. My fangs were bared, but my racing pulse was admittedly overtaxing me. I couldn’t seem to form any coherent thoughts. My flight-instinct was kicking in, further setting off my panicked response when I realized I might end up involuntarily jumping dimensions again.
Suddenly, I felt Frankie’s hand on my cheek, the gentle pressure tilting my head up to make me meet his gaze. “It’s alright,” he said, his voice equal parts firm and understanding. The fog in my head lifted just a little.
“They’re not going to hurt you,” he went on, his thumb stroking the curve of my outer ear. However he managed to convey such certainty when he himself had been so uneasy mere moments ago was beyond me, and yet, I found myself believing him. My breathing slowed and I hazarded a second glance at the doll I had bumped into.
It had stopped moving, its body having locked into an unnatural, almost feral-looking position. It was cowering on all fours, its torso lowered and its head up. Its neck was bent at such an extreme angle that it was approaching the comical.
“What the fuck was that?” I whispered, the curse word escaping me before I could stop myself.
“Some of them have to be activated manually, others can be turned on just by touch. I remember that,” Frankie replied. “There’s no need to be afraid of them, though. Even if it’s hard to believe considering… well.” He gestured at the oddly crouching doll at our feet.
“Something’s very wrong here,” I muttered, unable to tear my eyes off the lifeless, incomplete face. “I didn’t even know they made toys like that.”
“They’re not for children,” Frankie said, his eyes glazing over once more.
“Are they, like, robots? Do they know what they’re doing?”
“Not if they’re lucky, they don’t.” He paused. “They’re not made to think. Any awareness they might have would be unplanned for.”
“And you really used to work here? Did you help build them?”
“We can talk about that once we’re out of here.”
I swallowed. “Look, I’m freaking out. This can’t be a normal production site.”
“It’s not. I wish you didn’t have to see this. It… it only gets worse. And your instincts aren’t failing you, none of this is right. If you want to back out, I don’t blame you. This place shouldn’t exist.”
I took a deep breath. I wished I had insisted on knowing the full truth before coming here, but it couldn’t be helped now. Instead of prying further, I pointed at the canister of gasoline. “Then let’s remedy that.”
Despite himself, Frankie smiled.
Instead of mirroring the expression, I felt my own features suddenly derail. “Oh crap.”
“What is it?”
“Do you think she heard me scream?”
X
1
2: deadbeat roommate
3: creepy crush
4: relocation
5: beach concert
6: First date
7: Temp work
8: roommate talk
9: a dismal worldview
10: warehouse
11: staircase
12: explanation
13: hurt
14: hospital
15: ocean
16: diner
17: government work
18: something in the caves
19: shopping cart
20: olms and Jewels
21: long hair
22: recruitment
23: waitresses

I want to reconnect with an old person in my life but I absolutely cannot bc of anxiety. In 2018 I met this guy when I wasn’t looking for anything serious. We ended up becoming best friends for awhile and I really fell in love. We spent nearly every weekend together and he was so important to me. I kept my feelings to myself until I couldn’t and then he didn’t really want anything at the time and then I moved away. I ghosted in a means to get over it all but he reached out anyway and we started talking again. Fast forward I moved back and we’re both dating other people and coincidentally my partner at the time ended up getting a job in this guys city so I was there a lot. Me and that bf are broken up now for other reasons.
At any rate I still miss this friend so much and I just wish we could idk get a second chance or be around each other again? Some days it’s whatever but he’s just been on my mind alot lately. Our relationship had some road blocks but I think we were both growing up a bit and had different things to learn. We last had a quality convo on new years and then he reached out when my mom passed. We only ever talk when he reached out first bc I’m just afraid. This is just the one thing I’ve had trouble getting over. I’m afraid to reach out out of fear of getting hurt again/him still being in a relationship/feeling annoying/not knowing what to say. I think of him all the time though. It hurts. Idk what to do so I just do nothing. Part of me hopes the universe just gives me a little help one way or another.

I had a vasectomy yesterday around 11:30am. While I experienced the usual discomfort, I was generally ok and able to get up/down. Towards the later afternoon I started to notice my right testicle swelling. I had been using frozen veggies to ice the area every so often. I took some ibuprofen for the swelling. Around 5:30pm, I drive to my sons t-ball game. I was sitting the entire time. I came back home and saw that the swelling was about the size of an avocado. I laid down and continued to ice. I then (stupidly) drive out to a restaurant for an hour or so. By the time that was done and I got home, the right testicle was nearly baseball sized, firm, with a deep red/purple bruise across it. After waking up this morning, the swelling it still there and my groin area right above the right testicle is also now in intense pain. Just getting up and down to use the bathroom made me feel like I was going to pass out. I would say I have a normal tolerance for pain.
I am male, white, 37. I do not smoke. I am a type 1 diabetic. I am 6ft tall and weigh approximately 165 pounds. I have had no other medical issues and no previous surgeries.

I’ll preface this by saying that in the past, I used to get constant endless nightmares at night that would leave me grouchy, depressed, and sleep deprived. I got therapy and mental help for my ptsd. They nearly went away completely after several months of working on myself and quitting a bad binge drinking habit for good.
But last night was just horrendous. I even got up at one point for some water and a weighted blanket lol. It didn’t end after that, either.
I recall them all vividly, but don’t feel comfortable describing the hyper realistic memory ones.
As for the absurd nightmares, there was one about floating men trying to get in through the windows, one about sinkholes enveloping my partners workplace and possibly killing him, and a lot of the other ones involved my precious baby cat getting very badly hurt or worse.
I haven’t had them in a while, but I used to have dreams a lot about dying or getting murdered. When I got up for water and a blanket, it was because I was startled awake by a dream where I was shot in the stomach, fell into a lake and drowned. Horrifying.
I’ve been just sitting here now. I don’t often cry but I woke my partner up on accident from literally shaking and crying. Maybe I convinced myself that the trauma nightmares were over when they actually aren’t? Man. Why did they even come back?
It’s better right now. I’m tired, but I’ve got my blanket and my kitty with me. Just having trouble getting out of bed after all of that.

I'm an immigrant living in Japan with my husband and our son (7.5mo). I lost my job at the start of the pandemic and became a housewife. I was totally on top of cleaning, cooking, and household management and it felt like a breeze.
It was a struggle to get into a survivable rhythm, but once my son was sleeping better, I was starting to enjoy being a SAHM. Then, 2 weeks ago, I got really sick. I almost passed out while feeding our son, but my husband couldn't take time off so I had to power through til the weekend. I got a "break" from baby duties on the weekend, but I still wasn't recovered by Monday so also lost out on decompressing time. It wasn't the best week, but we all made it.
Last weekend, my husband needed to finish up a research paper for his PhD and was on a time crunch. Even though I was drowning, I tried to give him the weekend to focus on research. I lasted til Sunday afternoon solo parenting before breaking down. Then, this week started and I just can't do any more. I sobbed off and on all day because I'm so exhausted and overwhelmed. I fantasized about falling asleep and never waking up again.
My husband's workday is 10-12+ hours. He also is working on a PhD. Despite this, he does bath/bed routine and insists on handling overnight wakes. When he isn't swamped with research, he will do more than his share of baby care so that I can focus on non-baby tasks. He is an amazing partner and is stretched so thin. I feel terribly guilty about how much he does, and I really miss quality time with him. He knows this and has filed to transfer to a different section in his company with fewer overtime hours, but it will take time to go through.
My family is in my home country. My in-laws are neither interested in nor capable of helping. My friends do not have children, and their availability rarely aligns with ours. Because I'm unemployed, it's impossible to get our son into a daycare unless we pay a huge sum of money (which we don't have) for an international or private one. Nannies are rare and in high demand. Gyms in our area don't offer childcare. There are storytimes at the local library, but my baby is in a screeching phase that is not socially acceptable here.
I'm alone with my baby from 6am-6pm. He is very vocal, which is adorable but sets off my anxiety, since Japanese culture is very strict about not disturbing others. This means we have to close all the windows in our apartment when he is crying or getting off the train/bus if he won't stop screeching. I try my best to balance both of our needs, but it feels like no matter how much I try, he always needs more than what I can give.
I desperately want to be a good SAHM. I want to be cheerful and fun for my son, but I am struggling so hard. When he scream cries, I soothe him, but inside I just feel dead. I have been losing my patience and end up sobbing with him. The jealousy I feel of other parents with more support is embarrassing and ugly. I don't know how to get past this besides just waiting it out, and I'm worried that my stress and mood will impact my son negatively, even though he seems happy nearly all of the time.
Advice I have adopted from this sub:

• Frozen/quick foods more often
• Triage the housework
• Listen to a podcast in one earphone throughout the day
• Involve the baby in housework
• Go out with the baby daily
• Naptime = downtime
• Building in "baby-free" time when possible (this is tricky for us, given my husband's workload)

This advice has helped me go from daily drowning to drowning only after a series of bad days. Maybe there are other things I could do more efficiently? Or maybe I am not cut out to be a SAHM...

So Wednesday the 31st I began to feel a little discomfort in my front upper left thigh while at work. I work in a lumber yard so it's a physical job some days but nothing crazy. I do not recall any injuries however. It just slowly started out of nowhere. If I had to describe it, it feels like a dull aching pain. It does not hurt to touch. It doesn't look swollen or red at all. It feels a little tight to the touch compared to my right thigh but i cant really tell. And I'm able to walk and move on it just fine. Just hurts. Fast forward to the next day I went to my local urgent center where I told them my symptoms and they immediately sent me to a hospital to get an ultrasound to rule out a blood clot. I came back clear but when they did the ultrasound they mainly did my leg and calf. A little bit of my thigh but not near the pain. So I'm not sure if they did it correctly. They send me home and I go about my weekend. Yesterday on Monday I'm still having the pain so I return back to urgent care to get another opinion. Still the same symptoms however I notice that when I bend over to pick something up I get what's best described as a bad cramping pain. It feels like a baseball poking out of my leg. She says there's nothing else they can do and that I need to see my doctor and get blood work done as she believes I might have some muscle tension and that I have an Electrolyte imbalance or that I may be low in potassium or magnesium. She said I can return to work if I'm willing because she doesn't believe it's an actual injury. And that work shouldn't make it worse, I just need to take it easy. I've been taking potassium and Tylenol for the pain and it seems to help a little bit. I'm keeping it elevated as well but it's still there. Like I said nothing specific irritates ot other than bending over and sometimes if I stand up and keep my leg straight I get the same cramping feeling. My thigh doesn't have any spasms other than once on Saturday. It will hurt walking on it one minute and the next it's fine. It usually never hurts sitting down. If so it's very slight. And the same with laying down. I'm just extremely nervous and I've been told so many things. My biggest worry is that the hospital did not check the right area of my thigh when looking for the blood clot via ultrasound. Thank you and any opinions are greatly appreciated. I'm 23 M. I'm 315 lbs. I don't smoke or drink. I have type 2 diabetes that I manage fairly.