Cars for under 2000 near me
Nearly Impossible Odds
2015.06.06 21:01 RoonilWazilbob Nearly Impossible Odds
Nearly impossible feats of achievement, those with great degree of difficulty or incredible odds.
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2023.06.05 16:16 Low-Bug-397 Do everything Dad feeling lonely and unappreciated
tl;dr
My lazy wife expects me to do nearly everything and I'm really missing any affection and companionship.
So, I've been married for about 10 years and we have 2 wonderful kids. Over the last few years, my relationship with my wife has changed for the worse. About a year ago, she basically just decided that we can no longer sleep in the same bed due to my snoring. So, now I kind of just live out of the guest room/office. We never really spend time together. I've been mostly just focusing on spending time with the kids and taking care of the house.
My wife is a stay-at-home mom but spends most of her time laying in bed. Lately, she has only been able to do the kids home schooling and some laundry once a week. Although, she is able to use the riding mower every other week. For context, I work a full-time job 8 hours a day and every day I'm expected to make/get dinner, clean up the kitchen, and take care of the kids until bedtime. It's just exhausting to come home every day and feel like I have to do everything.
For more context, my wife has been dealing with some back problems, anxiety, and I think a thyroid condition that seems to sap your energy. But at this point, I think she's just really lazy and tries to use this stuff as an excuse for not taking care of her responsibilities. I've tried to be patient and hope that she starts doing stuff more. Nothing will change if she's just laying in bed all day.
I've been really missing the companionship and affection of my partner. I feel like a single Dad with a terrible roommate most of the time. I've started thinking about looking for someone new, but that just seems really selfish. Leaving the relationship has so many negative consequences and I wouldn't be able to afford it right now anyway.
Thanks for letting me vent!
submitted by
Low-Bug-397 to
marriageadvice [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:16 throwaway32099 Gf (22F) had a rough weekend and taking it out on me (21M)
I will start by saying that I truly love my gf but sometimes she can be impulsive, especially when drinks are involved, and it can turn her into somewhat of a dumbass. She was celebrating her best friend’s birthday all weekend. The official party was on Saturday and she told me the plan was to go shopping, out to eat, and then the birthday party. A couple things happened that made me pause.
- She asked me for money bc she wanted to order the most expensive thing to eat (pasta and lobster) and it wasn’t in her budget.
- She got sloppy drunk at the party and tried to lie saying someone slipped something in her drink
The first point isn’t as bad as the second point but still up there bc I don’t want her thinking I’m gonna spoil her like her dad. The second point is the main issue I’m having bc she tried blaming me for her actions bc I couldn’t be there for her. I was literally at my buddy’s house lifting and I drank a few beers. I wasn’t on my phone bc I was doing my own thing so I didn’t see her texts or calls.
She was home before me and passed out hanging off the sofa. One of her shoes were missing and she had makeup on the couch and some puke on the floor. I couldn’t wake her up so I put her in the tub and splashed her with cold water. She was out but still breathing. I had to carry her to the car, getting looks from the neighbors, and take her to the emergency room. She had Xanax in her system and had to stay overnight.
I don’t think anyone would waste a Xanax to roofie her when she was at a public party where everyone would know what’s going on and wouldn’t allow her to get taken advantage of. I honestly believe she took it herself and over estimated what she can handle, some of her friends might’ve taken one too. It was mostly girls there from what I heard.
I messaged her best friend asking if she thinks my gf was roofied and she was shocked and said no and asked if she was okay bc she saw her leave early and that’s it. My gf is insisting she was roofied but she can’t explain how it happened when she was watching her drink. She blamed me for not being there to pick her up and she isn’t talking to me, rather ignore me like a child. We live together so it’s tense every time we’re in the same room. I feel like there is something she isn’t telling me and holes all in her story. I think she’s feeling shame for how she was perceived and wants to lie and put the blame on me so she doesn’t feel as bad.
I will add that I know she had good people around her to take care of her whether it was actually her getting roofied or just overdosing herself TL;DR gf got sloppy drunk and on Xanax at a birthday party and said she was roofied but no one else said that. She’s placing blame on me for not being able to pick her up bc I was busy and expected to see her later in the night.
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2023.06.05 16:16 sahmess I have so much resentment towards my husband and I don’t know how to move past it so we can be happy again.
I’m mad about so many things. Here’s a short list.
1) We share a car (my car) because he got into an accident with his and didn’t have insurance so we had to pay $10K to the other parties insurance company and lost his car. I’m angry because he had recently moved provinces and I asked him to go handle everything at the ministry multiple times and he brushed me off and then it turns out the insurance renewal got sent to his old house and he didn’t get it or ever check up on it so was uninsured for months.
2) The $10K we had to pay? He told me we didn’t owe anything and that he spoke to them. A year later he gets fired from his job and in the same conversation let’s me know he actually owes $10K and they’re going to take him to court if he doesn’t make a payment plan and initial payment immediately. When I ask why he lied to me he just says he didn’t know how to tell me. Except you didn’t just hide the amount owed, you lied right to my face multiple times when I asked about it.
3) I had PPD after our second child and he didn’t step up and anytime I tried to talk about how hard it was he just told me everyone’s tired and I needed to get over it.
4) Last night I put one kid to bed and he put the other to bed. Afterwards I came to the living area and started cleaning up and he fell asleep with the kid. No problem. Then he wakes up and comes out and starts asking why I’m so angry. I’m confused because I’m literally just listening to music and cleaning the house. No I’m not super smiley but I was like this before he walked out, it’s not directed at him. But now I’m getting annoyed because he keeps asking why I’m angry and why I’m cleaning if I’m mad. Like?? There aren’t special fairies that come out and finish putting toys away and loading the dishwasher just because I didn’t want to. I just want to clean up and then decompress and go to bed but apparently I need to be happy all the time while I do it??
5) this morning he’s heading to work (he usually works in his office in the basement or his coworking space which is walking distance) and asks what I’m doing. I’m not sure yet, might go to story time or the museum or the park. He keeps asking what we’re doing and what time. Like I don’t know. Nothing is even open yet and the 1 year old has an irregular nap schedule. We’ll go when we go. Why does it matter what time?
And then he’s like “well I need the car so I need to know what time you need it”. Could you not have started with that???? Does it need to be an interrogation? You could just say “hey I need the car today from x to x time” and I’ll adjust. Then sarcastically he’s like “okay this morning I’m taking the car to work”. Like I don’t need this sass or an interrogation. Also how am I supposed to plan around you having the car if you don’t tell me you need the car??
6) I bought a Bluetooth keyboard to use with my iPad because he got a new job a couple years ago and needed my MacBook to do it. I thought his job was going to provide one but it’s been 2 years so my computer is his now. While I’m setting up the Bluetooth keyboard he’s asking why I need it. So I tell him I miss writing and I’m thinking of doing a Coursera class so it would be nice to have a keyboard. He asks why we can’t budget to buy me a computer even though he’s well aware we have no extra money and life is only getting more and more expensive.
7) he set up his life insurance for his new job and put his siblings down instead of me and the kids because he thought it meant guardianship. Even though his siblings are not our chosen guardians… I found out when I logged in to make a prescription claim and checked over all the details
Honestly I could go on and I’m sure he has a list about me but I just don’t know how to move forward from here. Lately I find I’m happiest when he’s travelling for work and not here.
There are good times too and he does help clean the house, and cook, and will take the boys to the park so I can get some time alone on the weekends.
I’m just not sure how to move forward. I hate the way he communicates and I feel like I can’t trust him to handle financial and life matters properly.
Is there a reset button we can hit? Would we better off separated?
Has anyone ever moved past a ton of resentment to have a happy relationship again? And how.
submitted by
sahmess to
beyondthebump [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 16:16 qUxUp WSIB best racng games on ps4? arcade and simcade and sim categories
Hey. I recently got my hands on the playstation 4 pro and am not really familiar with the Playstation library. Stuff like snowrunner is also welcome, that's a game I adore, but obviously it's not a racing game. Hmm.. what do I like about car games:
engine sounds that are different, multiple cars, interesting tracks, longer tracks are especially cool.
I will be playing mostly singleplayer. Having a local coop would be cool but it's not something that has to be in the game.
I would like to get some recommendations in all three categories. They don't have to be best of the best or anything like that, just something what you would recommend or like is good enough for me. The more suggestions, the better.
- Arcade
- Simcade
- Sim
Thanks :)
submitted by
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· Thomas Frank – Creator’s Companion (Ultimate Brain Edition)
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2023.06.05 16:14 Seamoose_Art NoP 2177: Ashes to Ashes [10]
Credit for the original story goes to
u/spacepaladin15.
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---
Memory transcript subject: Tressa, Venlil civilian
Date [Standardized Human Time]: February 30th, 2177
Location: Lower sprawl of City 23, Venlil Prime
If they were spotted, there was little anyone could do to save them. Tressa’s pistol could maybe pick off one exterminator before the rest rushed them down, if his aim was solid and he didn’t fumble the shot entirely. With their current luck, the chances of his final stand making even the slightest difference was slim to none.
What they needed more than anything was stealth, tact. Slip in silently, act decisively, rush out with Beast before anyone could take notice. So when James managed to sprawl out on the sidewalk over a miniscule crack in the concrete and let out a cry of pain that drew the attention of all 3 or 4 other people on the street, Tressa knew they were truly already dead.
He decided not to voice this grim conviction as he helped his human compatriot to his feet. However, James’ slight limp when he got back to walking didn’t exactly lift his spirits. At a time like this, a sprained ankle was effectively a death sentence. If they got caught (
when they got caught, at this rate), James wouldn’t be able to run. He alone was now condemned to an agonizing, slow death by immolation that the exterminators relished so dearly.
He’d stick by him, Tressa decided then and there, defending him pistol and claw until the last moment they fell together. As far as dying alongside each other went, burning was... well, it was far from romantic, but he’d take what he could get. Anything would be better than capture.
He’d seen what they did to the ones they didn’t just incinerate on the spot… The thought of James being tortured into one of their empty-eyed puppets, little more than a pet with the shock collar to match, filled his every step with furious determination. If he shot back, they’d be forced to try and kill both of them. It would be a mercy.
His bleak thoughts were silenced by a cloud of dust as Sasha carefully kicked in a dilapidated door. They’d snuck through another war-torn abandoned building, this one an apartment complex, to get a good look at the Tipped Quill before simply rushing Beast. From here, they could form something more resembling a plan of action.
Grabbing a pawful of coat fabric, Tressa wiped grime from the miraculously unbroken window to get a clearer view. He took a look through, and wiped harder. Then wiped his eyes with his other paw for good measure. The sight before him didn’t change.
A patrol vehicle sat outside the building, lights flashing and cabin empty. The cycling orange and yellow illuminated the rest of the scene, casting sharp shadows and harsh spotlights on the bare concrete. From his vantage point, Tressa could see the whole street lit in a garish blood-orange glow. It was empty. Not a single exterminator lay outside.
It had to be a trick of the light. Or a trick of the mind. Or perhaps they were already in the burned-out apartment, having spotted the group and lying in wait for the most dramatic moment to strike. He braced for impact. A rapid clicking noise behind him; he nearly drew his pistol before realizing the sound was familiar. It was nothing more than the sound of a keyboard.
While the rest of their group was pressed up against the cleared spot of the window to try and get a look outside, Trish was frantically typing something on her pad. Eyes widening enough to see their whites, she lashed her tail against the crumbling floor tiles to get their attention as she turned her pad around for them to see.
It was a video of the Tipped Quill. Live camera footage; Trish briefly wondered how she’d gotten access. Only briefly, though; the reality of what he was seeing chilled him to the core as soon as it registered, his brief spark of curiosity replaced with a dull, lifeless horror.
Stalking the bar were five figures clad in black combat armor, kinetic weaponry in hand. Exterminator emblems on their backs. One of them, a Venlil, walked up to a crumpled spiky fig…
Burai. One of them walked up to Burai, and just stared. Blue blood pooled beneath its boots, and it kneeled down to get a better look before getting up and walking away, leaving indigo footprints across the once-cleaned floor and flicking its tail in satisfaction. Tressa felt bile rise in his throat, and had to step away before he ruined the pad.
Sasha looked a second away from throwing up herself. Trish was seemingly too shocked to even react, simply staring at the pad blankly. James, however, had a gleam in his eyes. Not just tears (although those sparkled in the dim light of the pad as well) but intelligence. The beginnings of a plan were forming in his mind. He moved back to the window, and Tressa followed his motion as he began to mutter, apparently thinking aloud to himself.
"Those… those aren’t flame suits, are they?”
“It’s combat armor. If I tried to shoot them, I’d have trouble taking down a single one.”
“No, no, that’s not what I’m getting at— you think they keep those firebombs in their vehicle?
“I doubt they— Wait. You don’t mean… You think that could work?”
“It’d be
fitting if nothing else. Yeah, if we can seal the front door… just need to get Beast out of there quickly before she gets seared as well.”
Sasha stepped over. “What are you two… no. That can’t be your plan. Do you really think they’ll just sit and wait? They can probably just shoot out the door, no matter what you try to block it with. And that’s assuming they haven’t already discovered the Den… although, even using the fire escape would buy us enough time to take Beast…”
“Will one of you tell me what you’re all muttering about over there?”
James wheeled around to face Trish, a cruel smile starting to break across his face. “We’re thinking the Tipped Quill could use a bit of a makeover. The standard exterminator fare, but this time…” His smile widened as he paused for dramatic effect, the spirit of Burai apparently possessing him for an instant. “...This time, they’ll get to enjoy the flames firsthand.”
“...You want to burn it down to kill them. That’s what you’re suggesting?”
Yeah, when she put it that bluntly, it did sound like a pretty dumb plan. They were exterminators; of course they’d know how to deal with fire. Maybe they’d be better off trying to use the patrol vehicle as a—
“I can keep their attention for a moment with the speaker system, when the time comes. Just give me the word.”
—
There weren’t any firebombs in the trunk. Or regular bombs, or even so much as a lighter. There was a storage case for the flamethrowers, but it was predictably empty. Tressa nearly slammed it closed in frustration before remembering their need for stealth.
“Nothing in this box either.” whispered James. “Do they just have their equipment on them at all times? Shouldn’t they at least keep spares somewhere?”
“If they did, we should have found them by now.” Tressa finished rummaging through a secret compartment under a cushion; they packed extra water, ammo, cuffs, even some medications. Everything except for a goddamned lighter. His tail lashed with such frustration that James understood instantly. He leaned out the door to talk to Trish, who was still keeping an eye on cams in case the exterminators found the Den or started approaching the front door.
“Trish, you think you can start some sort of electrical fire? There’s that panel on the wall right behind all the high-proof drinks; a strong spark’d be all you need.”
“Not a chance. The circuit breaker would stop me from doing anything remotely. And besides, those bottles are sealed. The alcohol won’t burn unless they’re broken. Maybe you could throw something at it? Something metal that could cause a short?”
“
Throw something? And just… hope I don’t miss entirely, and hope it hits the right spot to cause a spark, and hope I can get out in time?”
“Then by all means, keep looking in there for a lighter. I don’t see any other…”
Trish halted mid-sentence. Her eyes went wide, darting between Tressa and the bar several times before she managed to make a noise. It was hard to call speech exactly, and while there were words mixed in, it held no meaning that the rest of them could discern. It took multiple failed attempts to string together a coherent sentence before she finally forced herself to stop and breathe. After several suspenseful moments spent gathering composure, she finally managed to find the words.
“Tressa, you brought your pistol, right? Do you think… would the panel spark enough if you shot it?”
—
Some part of his mind was vaguely aware of the herd at his back, nervously awaiting his move. Of the cold wind biting at his ears. Of the soft orange lighting, or the chatter he could just barely make out from inside the building, or the frigid door handle. But that part was very small. As far as his conscious mind was concerned, only two things existed. The gun in his hands, and the panel on the far wall. He could already imagine it, even though he was on the other side of the door. He lined up the shot in his head. His grips on the handles in both of his paws tightened.
“Make some noise for them…
now!”
Trish clicked something on her pad, and flattened her ears before covering them with a free paw.
The speakers blared a harsh static tone, covering the sound of the door slipping open as Tressa peaked in just enough to take his shot. The exterminators were looking elsewhere, attention captivated by a flickering screen and sensed dulled by the cacophony around them. Despite their ample peripheral vision, none of them noticed as Tressa took aim.
The gun in his hands, and the panel on the far wall. Lower right side was where the cluster of capacitors he needed to hit would be, and that shot would strip right through a bottle of high-proof lureroot gin, the one Burai was always fond of. He forced his paw to stop shaking, twisted his head to get his eye aligned with the sights, and found his mark.
The trigger depressed with a satisfying click, followed instantly by the harsh kick and savage warcry as his shot rang out.
Tressa rushed to close the heavy wooden door, but out of the corner of his eye he saw the pandemonium he was leaving behind. A violent blue spark gave way to a grand jet of flame as the alcohol ignited. The exterminators wheeled around, apparently not noticing him in the slightest due to the sudden presence of a fire they hadn’t started. One of them started to back up, tail pressed against the ground in panic.
That was all Tressa was able to catch before he got the door closed. Even with his ears buzzing from the shot, he could hear the
click of the lock automatically re-engaging. He dove backwards, letting himself fly head over heels for a pawful of meters before righting himself and taking aim at the doorframe with bated breath.
From the other side of the door, he heard a roar of flame. An agonized cry. He steeled himself, preparing for the door to fall away and the wrath of a pissed-off extermination crew to fall upon them like a thunderbolt. His aim was steady, head-level. He held his breath, ready to shoot anyone who made it out.
The sound of fire and the sounds of pain intermingled, one single furious, horrified roar of agony and hatred. There was a noise like a jet taking off. There was a shriek of pain in many voices. The door shook from the impact of a shockwave inside, then jittered violently from the impact of several bodies, fists and claws and boots all trying to break it down. A desperate wave of flesh and fur, slamming against the frame with less strength each time.
There was a noise like pleading, although it could have been the wind.
A few shots rang out from the inside of the bar, a couple piercing through the door. The bullet holes leaked with blood. One final, solitary howl of torture barely distinguished itself from the blaze for a few more seconds before choking out with a final gunshot.
Then, it was just the hushed crackling of flame.
---
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2023.06.05 16:14 JavascriptWizard89 Unhappy, stressed, and feeling purposeless with work
I want to preface this with I do believe some of my unhappiness and stress is in my head, and have been trying to work on addressing how I view things.
With that said my current job is in a field I have greatly enjoyed in the past (80% of the time my feeling towards the work I do is I can't believe I get paid to do this because I enjoy it and find it easy) has become something turning my work hours into near constant stress, and then dreading Sunday especially and feeling like I need to mentally prepare myself for work each day.
My job is a pretty small company and has been changing a lot lately, with people moving seats and feeling like we are pivoting every month or 2 months from what was discussed previously and my position which is more technical has been given more and more responsibilities to be customer facing, which I am fine with in smaller parts but specifically asked about that when I was hired as I know it isn't something I am good with and can be stressful, and has become a gateway for clients to essentially reach out directly to me and ask for work to be done and I am just to track my time I spend on it for the company to bill the client.
This isn't the only stressor, but I feel it is a major one, as it not only gives me way more customer interaction with no one else involved, but means I have to ingest, plan, and execute on any random thing one of our clients can think up of and is making me stress either overcommunicating with the CEO or just doing whatever potentially dumb thing a client asks of me.
Part of me wants to just talk with my boss and tell him that I don't think I am a good fit for the role anymore with the direction of the company, and take some time off to reflect and figure out if my issue is my industry or just my role in this company, my worry is I feel like I need a break from work for a bit, but know that can be a bit of a pain when finding a new job, but I feel like I am doing a meh job now at best and I hate feeling like I am not doing good work.
Any advice for anyone who has been in this situation or even just how to look at my situation to hopefully reorient myself would be great, thank you all.
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2023.06.05 16:14 ThrowSH77 Been hurting myself more and more lately, this time I’m going to the hospital.
First time poster, kinda reaching out with a bit of desperation. For background, for like maybe 20 years (I’m 33M now) I’ve had episodes where I break down and hurt myself. I usually hit myself in the head. I’ve gone over the top with it in the past, basically beating myself up like Tyler in Fight Club. I did a decent job of halting all physical blows to the head due to fears of CTE but for about the last 6 months (since my father passed) I’ve been hitting myself again (although much rarer than in the past).
Last night, after an argument with my girlfriend, I got so frustrated, I wanted to do anything to change my way of thinking and as I was getting out of the car I deliberately put my hand on the frame of the car and slammed my own door onto my hand. I immediately started bleeding a lot out of my pinky. The wound looks like it was 25% of the way to being cut off completely. I wrapped it up real tight and decided to wait til the morning when urgent care opened up. Sitting in urgent care right now actually.
I get so scared in these moments when I completely lose control and want to hurt myself. Last night I made the decision to slam my hand in the door in the blink of an eye. What scares me the most is that I might do something that really hurts or even kills me while I’m in these upset states. About 13 years ago I laid down in traffic until I got hit by a car while in one of these state of minds. By the time I changed my mind and came to my senses it was too late, I tried to get up but got hit by a car first. I haven’t had any other suicide attempts or even thoughts since then, but when I get really upset and get into this uncontrollable state of mind my actions become unpredictable.
Does anyone have any tips that can help gain control of myself. I want to be able to put logic ahead of emotion, I’m getting therapy but I need more help.
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2023.06.05 16:14 ChillinSwinginHangin 27 [M4M] GF out of town, hung bi BWC looking for some fun with just the boys
So, i am the bi M from a fun young kinky bi MF Couple, but she is out of town until next week. I am 27, hung (~9in), fit, hwp, 5-11, clean, ddf, and vaxxed.
Looking for some fun with guys under 35 this week. Pretty open and kinky, so let me know what your into or your limits. Be clean std free and not over 35. U
Def love exhibitionism, so maybe outdoor, public, at Mr S, the gym, beach, or just keep the curtains open. But honestly open to most things.
Preferably looking for bi guys, since it would be fun to have you join us when the GF gets back too. But gays apply too!
Feel free to send pics and stats in DMs, looking all week.
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2023.06.05 16:14 carolinehcohen Cerclage with toddler - help
My son is 14 months old and I’m 12 weeks pregnant, scheduled for cerclage next week. My short and funneling cervix was discovered too late with him so I did bed rest until 39 weeks. Super excited to get a cerclage this time but confused on how restrictive to be with lifting him. MFM said no lifting but when I told them about him they said “do what you have to.”
If you had cerclage did you still lift your toddler into car seat, high chair etc when necessary? Or did you stop completely?
Would love to hear all experiences. I obviously want to get to full term again, not lifting him will make me sad but I know me being away in the NICU would be much worse for him. I’m just confused on the varying precautions I see online.
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2023.06.05 16:14 shenny67 Signed contract and partial deposit
TLDR: I signed a contract and put a deposit on a new car but after a very poor experience with the dealership I’m looking to back out.
Went into a dealership yesterday to test drive a new car before lunch. We loved the car and were about 95% prepared to buy. We had the salesman run the numbers and it seemed reasonable. We told them we would go for lunch to discuss then return later. At this point the General Sales Manager came over. He’s the epitome of a pushy car salesman. They clearly live by the mantra ‘never let a customer leave until the papers are signed’. It continued with us trying to leave and them asking us for ‘10 more minutes’ to get us a better deal ; better financing, removing add-on fees, etc., until finally we agreed to buy. Waiting around for another couple hours while they prepared the car and paperwork. Eventually it had been nearly 5 hours, my wife and daughter were exhausted and starving and we we just wanted to get out of there. I made a $1K deposit on my credit card and attempted to pay an extra $20K with my debit card. The debit card payment didn’t go through as it exceeded my daily limit. My bank would only grant $10K limit per day, so the salesman literally offered to accompany me to my home so I could get my check book and cut them a check. At this point we were just frustrated with the whole process. I told them we were leaving to have lunch (at 4:30!) and that I’d return with a check in 1.5hrs Once we had a chance to eat and reassess the situation we decided it was such a shitty experience that we didn’t want to proceed. The dealership blew up my phone with calls and messages when I didn’t return and I told them I was reconsidering my options. At this point the contract is signed and they have a deposit. The bulk of the down payment hasn’t been paid and they of course still have the car.
How much damage would I be doing to my credit score if I tell them I am backing out and cancel the credit card deposit?
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2023.06.05 16:14 Due-Potential-5363 My (33M) boyfriend (24F) says that he doesn’t see a future with me anymore
We have been together for almost 2 years now. Last year I bought and house and he moved it. The first year was for the most part pretty good. The last few months of 2022 were awful. Got into a car accident together, found out we were pregnant just for me to have a miscarriage, then he tried to OD and ended up at a psych facility for a few weeks. During that time I got hurt at work and was placed on work comp. Ever since those rough months, we have been non stop struggling. 75% of the week were good. The other 25% we're arguing. Last night he told me that within the next year that he sees himself moving out and buying a house on his own as he doesn't see a future with me like that anymore and that he wants to be alone. However during that conversation he proceeded to tell me that a lot can happen in the next year but didn't elaborate. He also said that he doesn't hate me that he just dislikes aspects of our relationship. Finances and my family. When I met him my parents were just getting divorced and it has been messy the last year. I'm not really sure how to feel or what to do. I also have my biological daughter that lives with me as her real dad isn't involved. I'm heartbroken and confused. We're suppose to talk tonight and I'm lost for words. I also don't want to react emotionally. How should I initiate the conversation?
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2023.06.05 16:14 paso1290 [PSX][90s-00s] Strange adventure first person game
Platform(s): Most probably PSX (99% sure, if not then PS2)
Genre: First person adventure game (I don't think it was point and click, but there it is possible)
Estimated year of release: Probably 90s
Graphics/art style: Rather realistic, dark, gloomy, kinda swampy (?), as I remember color palette to be green, brown, black etc.
Notable characters: The point is - you were alone. You walked through something resembling a village, a few houses here and there, but there was no one in sight. I remember somewhere near the begining you could find dog(s), their barking made me feel uncomfortable as a child, it was loud and they weren't friendly.
Notable gameplay mechanics: Can't say much besides I couldn't figure out what the hell waas going on. I don't remember game telling you that much. I was walking through those scattered houses looking for clues, items I could pick. Weirdly I remember a strange looking cursor in menu.
Other details: It is not myst, nor the sequel. That game was "uglier" in a sense of more dirty, dark color palette. The title should be 1 word, max 2, and I feel like it began with the letter "T", but that might be a false memory. That game really wierded me out as a kid, i was >10 years old probably, have played mostly racing games or some crash bandicoot, but that had a totally different feeling. If that helps, I'm from Poland and it probably wasn't a legal copy of the game.
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2023.06.05 16:13 Oh-That-Ginger TIFU by saying "fuck it, just get it over with" when the anesthetic didn't work when putting back a torn out fingernail
I had just started lifting an being the rookie bodybuilder I was took every suggestion that came my way. (This was about a year ago). I'm a morning person and in the gym there were always the same four people in the morning, so we got to know each other over a couple months.
This elderly man showed me this "new" excercise with dumbbells where you basically bend over and do flies for your back. I copied him and he told me to change my grip. Alright, change my grip. Fine. I grew a little too enthusiastic and the dumbbells clashed together on their way down, somehow catching the middle finger of my left hand between them. First I was just dumbfounded. Oh fuck. Just as If it had come between a door. Then the pain intensified and blood started gushing out.
I went to the toilets and held it under running water. The entire sink was red and I was on the verge of passing out. Vision blurry, lightheaded, the whole shebang. The janitor bandaged it and after that I went home where I took some painkillers. The pain kept getting worse however and I felt like something was wrong. I had seen that the nail wasn't in the right spot. 80% of the nail under the nailbelt horizontally had been torn out so that I could see the part of my nail usually under my skin. I decided to go to the hospital and because it was a Sunday couldn't get in touch with my GP first, meaning it'd all be on my own costs (Netherlands care system).
In the hospital a doctor checked it out and after discussing with other doctors decided it was best to put the nail back in to protect the nailbed or something. Ge game me some anesthetic and then we had to wait for it to work. It did nothing, but he then had to leave for an emergency when an ambulance came in. Another two hours go by before he comes back. He pumps in some more anesthetic and we wait. Then some more because it didn't work. Eventually I just said, "fuck it. Just get it over with." He asked whether I was sure and I told him yes. Big mistake
He tried pushing it back in place and I was grunting in pain. He asked if I was okay and I told him to finish it regardless. He had it in place and was ready to put in stitches. Then it flopped back out. He got another Docter to help. Now this woman was rough. Not the soft lady's touch I was hoping for. She doubled up the force she put on it and kept it there. At this point the people in the next room over and probably the one after that, heard the grunting. Meanwhile I was swearing under my breath "ah motherfucker" then apologized. She said it was okay and that she knew how much it must hurt.
Then the stitches came. One went through the top of my finger, the other above my nail to form a sort of X over my nail. Now keep in mind your fingertips are very sensitive. This hurt nearly as much as the initial pushing back of the nail.
"The worst is over now, right?"
"Erm, almost." Then the man proceeded to tighten the stitches. More swearing ensued.
Worst pain I've ever experienced.
One week later I had to come back for a check up and the whole thing was brown/green as if it was dead. Turned out alright though and now my finger looks normal again.
TL;DR nail was toen out while weightlifting and was out back in without anesthetic. Worst pain of my life.
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2023.06.05 16:13 ntime60 Got the itch to get back into the hobby. I need some help.
I left the RC car scene after my oldest son got my gold tub RC10 ran over by a real car. Long story short, It's been a long long time since I have done any RC car action. Bashing seems to be the way I want to go now since I can get to a lot of fun places to mess around and I don't have any tracks closer than an hour away. So here is where the fun begins.
I know I want at least 1/8th scale. Bigger is better right? I'm not looking at anything larger because of weight. I just don't want to tote around a 40#/18kg rig. I would like something having good parts support.
I've read a lot about the "best bashers" and the general consensus I'm reading points me to Kraton, or E-Revo, or maybe MT410 or ET48.2, but I understand Tekno is fairly expensive. I don't know what expensive means in this context. I'm definitely looking at electric, then is it 4s or 6s? I'm leaning toward a truggy more than any other body.
What batteries and chargers are good? I don't even have a frame of reference on this because technology has changed so much since I was in the hobby. I'm assuming LiPo is the electric target.
I expect I'll be running in midwest creek/river bed areas, farmfields, a gravel pit or two, some BMX tracks/trails, around state parks, maybe a skate park, around my yard and nearby open hilly areas, maybe even parking lots.
My budget is around $7-800USD.
I get confused about durability between the brands and I know some of that really depends on how hard you run it. I also know that with a lot of people a certain brand is poo poo because of their business practices.
I thought I'd ask the community for some advice on the fun before I drop a grand or more on a new rig. So what do you all think?
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2023.06.05 16:13 yasht18 Looking for accommodation in Sector 44
Hello guys! I have to move to Gurgaon next month. My office is in Sector 44. Can anyone help me get accommodation near Sector 44? How high is the rent there? What's the best way to look for rooms?
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2023.06.05 16:13 Chance-Lie1679 My take on a melee overhaul
Overview:
With Necromancy coming in hot, being a polished style, melee sits as a very toxic style to use at high levels. It's the obvious worst style, both for beginners, and for the sweats, while also having the most upgrades (probably) and most tier 95 gear (by a lot). This is just some rough ideas I had to boost melee to being the best style, as it should theoretically be with the amount it has, and to eliminate how toxic the style is to use. Welcome to my melee overhaul.
Disclaimer:
-I am a high end pvmer. Challenging myself to get that extra second off of a boss gets me going, and I enjoy the more effort, more output concept.
-I don't think numerous switches are healthy, but its been runescapes identity since release. I'm all for a few core switches.
-What I find to be toxic is any form of armor switches (I guess unless you are swapping between styles, but I thoroughly don't enjoy this) to include HELM and GLOVES... My aim is to continue to use one set of dual wields, a 2h, and a not as often, unique weapon. -I thoroughly believe greater abilities are healthy for the game and that abilities tied to weapons (Leng swords hurricane passive) are unintuitive as you will lose this passive, (t97s) unless it is strictly a switch.
-None of this is calculated. Ability damage and more specific information will likely be needed. This is a generalization of what I believe would work.
Problems:
-Jaws of the Abyss (Helm Switch)
-Abyssal Scourge (Camping this is better than camping T95)
-Vestments (Enjoy the concept, but execution is off)
-Gloves of Passage (Glove switch for one ability)
-EZK (Optimizing requires 2)
-Essence of finality (Becoming monotonous with every style, but overall, a very nice addition)
-Lengs special (very niche, almost useless)
Proposed fixes:
- Introducing greater bezerk. Would be nice to have a standalone boss that this would drop from outside of current RS3 storyline (ie. Raksha type boss)
-Same effects as vestments full set (I know, seems like a lot, but we don't have great sun, or DS to compare it to).
- Vestments of Havoc. Not everything needs to be complex. Each piece, on top of the armor stats, increases melee damage by an additional 1%. Full set, gives you 5%.
- EZK special Change. Scrap the old spec. New spec will allow you to become encased with lava and start charging a large swing (similar to deto), eventually swinging at your target and creating a crater on the ground (similar to sun and DS effect when enemies stand in them). DOES NOT WORK IN BEZERK.
-This will have 5 tiers to it. Each tier will generate a new hitsplat and break hitcap. Attack damage is calculated through auto attack damage (preventing you from just chucking it into an eof to use with lengs) 60 second cd.
-Now instead of bleed damage, this chonky sword will now do chonky damage. It also fits the identity of melee, being burst.
-Like I mentioned, this will act like deto, therefore, you will be able to throw out an ability within the same tick as you release, adding to the burst.
-Thoughts behind this, was to mainly eliminate the need for throwing EZK into an EOF. Yes I know, it will someday be the case, but until then...
- Leng special. Most popular fix I've seen is to make the special a passive. I agree this would be more productive for the weapons, but I don't believe it is a smart and thought out idea. The future power creep will likely be required to break hit cap as well, why start with a passive t95 to do so?
-Remove all of the lengs effect to include the hurricane passive effect as this is random and eventually will lead to more switches later on down the road once t97s are introduced (opportunity down the road for a greater ability)
-New spec: imbue your weapons with ice, causing each hit to be broken up into shards. The number of shards it's broken up into, depends on how high the hit would be. Each hit that the attack is broken up into, applies additional ice damage to the target and applies frozen stacks. Frozen stacks increase ice damage the target takes until the spec has ended. 30 second up time, 60 second cd.
-The idea behind this, is that this will be your zerk rotation spec. The hits will be broken up into smaller hits, allowing for you to (technically) break hitcap, while also applying additional damage.
- Abyssal Scourge: Remove passive, make a spec weapon instead. Slash the target with the whip, causing the target to hemorrhage for 60 seconds. With each bleed inflicted on the target, another tick is added (after spec=1 bleed, use a bleed under the spec=2 bleeds, ect.)(bleed can be extended to double before it won't extend further). Damage will be additive.
-This isn't meant to be a ground breaking amount of damage. Will still be strong in itself, but the point is to add to melee's consistent damage, while also giving melee the adren that mage or range is capable of generating, while also being less RNG, when paired with Jaws of the Abyss.
Now... for perhaps the most interesting change...
Introducing the construction update, the Enchantment Room. This will also stray somewhat from the main topic of specifically fixing melee, but will be all around QOL fixes towards combat and RS3 in general.
Now there will be potential for a lot of different ideas and I would love to hear more! But here is the basics of what I conjured up:
The enchantment room will be a new room you can construct in your POH (limited to 1), with many different pieces of furniture you can build.
- The enchanted armor stand
-able to construct replica combat dummies for each style.
-each dummy replicates head, chest, legs, boots, and gloves.
-you can place items on the stand to obtain the effects of those items (just effects/passives, not stats)
-example; gloves of passage. Throw them on the stand, and you have that passive all of the time -set effects are included, and can synchronize with what you are wearing (ie. 3 piece vestments on the stand, 1 on your character, gives you 4 piece effect) -I can't speak on behalf of jamflex, but I hope the coding would be capable of handling this...
-hybrid gloves may be placed on any stand, but only work for the given style
- The essence of finality rack
-Able to mount up to 6 EOFs and enchant them, granting you their ability (still must be wearing an EOF to earn benefit) (potential for an all mighty EOF down the road)
-I understand their is only one EOF button, so more would have to be added. Can either be colored, or have the image of the weapon spec being used... Not too sure...
- Ring rack
-Stores 2 rings to give you their effects (effects do not stack. ie. LOTD while you are wearing HSR)
-this encourages the wear of the rex matriarchs rings, while store stuff like LOTD
Some random idea(s) that I thought were cool and could be very useful in the Enchantment room.
1. Enchanted overload pool -drink from the pool to grant you 1 hour of the selected overload used. This must be refilled so it's not game breaking, but it will allow 1 sip to go further and elongate overload usage. Right now 10 sips, lasts one hour. The pool would be let’s say 6 per 1 hour) -This could also, possibly, be turned into overall passive potion pool. (ie. weapon poison lasting an hour)
That's really it. Melee has always been a style I've loved, but in its current state, will not use. Maximizing its potential is just not fun or intuitive to me, nor is 5 ability bars enough. I would love to hear some opinions, good, bad, ugly, or if you just have some tweaks you'd make. Hope you all enjoyed!
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2023.06.05 16:13 Mcpoooopypants KD15 is a heartbreaker
So after 2 months of trying on different shoes (mainly lows) to move on from the KD14, I thought I found my great white buffalo. A little about me, 6’4 225 with a more than average athletic build, a little wider than average feet with a high instep and somewhat high arches. I got ahold of the NRG KD15’s and trying them on felt amazingly. My foot felt locked in and they felt like they fit like a glove.
That is until I ran pretty hard in them for about an hour for a ball hockey game. For starters, I’ve never had a shoe come untied more in the 1st 2 periods of the game, alone with probably the most heel lift/slippage I’ve ever experienced in a shoe. My feet did hurt for the first 15 minutes or so but after that I didn’t have any pain or discomfort. But the damn heel slip made it feel like if I went to stop and cut left, one shoe would go airborne. Traction also felt top tier.
It’s just a bummer that I have to keep searching for a low with sticky traction, full cushion support, a wide toebox and decent arch support (to keep my plantar fasciitis under control)
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2023.06.05 16:13 Paperhands_RC Need some advice for spousal visa please.
Hello, I am a UK citizen looking to bring my wife and children back to the UK. We currently reside in the USA and she is a US citizen. I have read and understand the requirements that the UK government impose for such a visa, but I have a couple questions regarding my particular circumstances and would appreciate any help. I would also greatly appreciate a recommendation or two for some lawyers to contact, I am dreadfully afraid of sending money to companies claiming to be immigration lawyers as I know there are a lot of scams that revolve around this sort of thing.
The circumstances I am unclear on are the following:
- I am a UK citizen from birth through my parents, and I was raised and lived in the UK most of my life. I have the right to enter and leave the country as I see fit. I was however born abroad, and this has raised some questions for my children who were born here in the USA. From my understanding my children are not UK citizens through me, since I was born abroad, or do they inherit citizenship same as I did? My reading of this is that they do not, but I am uncertain.
- I was injured in work related accident and receive monthly compensation. This is part of the reason I would like to return as I really would like the support of my family after my injury. It's not exactly a pension, but it is paid by the US government and will continue to be paid to me, and I have documentation showing my entitlement and the monthly amount I am paid. Could this be used as income under pensions for the income requirement?
- I hold most of my savings in brokerage accounts invested in stocks and bonds. I know my dividends can be used as income, but can this account be used for savings as part of the income requirement? Would I need to liquify the account and move it into a traditional savings account?
Thank you in advance for any help!
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2023.06.05 16:12 Centumviri Making Treasure Matter! Part 1 aka The Ale Standard (Updated for 2023)
Since the dawn of D&D players have chased treasure. Coins, Trinkets, Gems, Jewelry, and Items of Power. Rarely do we do so with any form of realism. Metals are extremely heavy, and any realistic thought of carrying around tens of thousands of valuable metal coins is not only absurd but functionally impossible. Ever try and pick up a large change jar, like the kind you granny kept? Full Plate Armor weighs almost nothing compared to that sucker. But here is the thing… we don’t care. And we don’t care because it is fun to have 10k in gold coins jingling around in our pockets! I don’t know if we will ever do away with the nuttyness of carrying all those coins, but I do think we can do something about their value.
If you’re of the persuasion that the original D&D brand of cp, sp, ep, gp, and pp is the way you wanna go, and tracking all that is fun for you and your party then by all means keep on keeping on. Nothing wrong with that! But I am about to suggest a little something I call the Ale Standard. A method of tracking and using a modified standard currency, because I got a suspicion that a lot of us out there just don’t like dealing with the minutia of all those coins and conversions. We would also really like wealth to continue to matter, and in most cases matter more. I’ve noticed a trend toward “items” and a lot more hand waving when it comes to money. Which is just fine, but I, and maybe you, want to run games where every coin matters!
So let’s start with values. Assuming a metal rarity in your D&D world that is similar to our own… How much is a gold coin actually worth? Most of us in our minds picture a pirate movie-esq doubloon sized gold coin. Which is pretty huge if you think about it. And for the most part fictional. Actual gold coins were much much smaller. I’m going to warn you, parts of this train are pretty mathy. Hopefully you’ll ride it out, as after 40 years of D&D I think it is well worth it.
A U.S. dime. A coin worth 10% of a dollar weighs 2.268 grams. As of 2023 Gold sells for a little over $60 a gram depending on purity (US dollars). We will stick to $60 for simplicity. Gold has retained a pretty consistent value throughout human history. $60 can buy you some jeans and a shirt today and generally speaking that same amount could buy an equal value outfit when Jesus was kicking it in the middle east 2000 years ago. That’s why Gold was used as an economic standard for a long time.
(Well… we used to. Not saying the Gold Standard was perfect, but now we just make up numbers based on what we guess something might possibly be worth if it were to be a tangible item we could actually sell, all while just adding more numbers to our imaginary digitally created values… … … anyway… It’s sad, but D&D’s economy might actually make more sense, and I don’t think it makes any sense at all. But that's just an aside, and one some folks will probably disagree with.)
ANYWAY, no economic system is perfect, but we can tr and get a little closer in our Fantasy Games. A gold coin the weight of a dime would be worth about $150 dollars. An actual Spanish Doubloon weighed about 7 grams and was a little less than an inch wide (Varied depending on the time period). Making a standard gold coin worth $420. The price of a cheap, but not bottom of the barrel, flatscreen TV in 2023. How many times in our games do we as DM’s simply say for some drinks at the tavern or for an apple from a street vendor “1 Gold” to cover the costs. The ratio realistically doesn’t work. You could hand wave and say that Gold isn’t as rare in your world, well sure, but if a Gp covers an apple what the hell are people making Copper Coins for? And how then is anything made of Gold valuable at all? It just doesn’t track! And I really want treasure to matter in my world, and if an Apple is worth a Gp, or, you know, $420, gold doesn’t matter at all.
Player: Would you like an apple? Player: Why Yes I would! Merchant: That will be one TV. Player: No Problem! I happen to have 750 TVs right here! See how lame that is?!
Which brings me to the point of all this. Once the cost of items drifts into Gp territory in D&D, the economy completely falls apart. The PHB says Modest living is worth 1gp a day, you know $420 for a day’s expenses… over $50 an hour! That’s more than many people make in a week. Comfortable living (middle class) is twice that! So let’s put this back on track, and I suggest you do so by switching to a basic currency type. Call it whatever you want! It can be Crowns, Dollars, Coins, Gil, Rupees, Pinches of Salt, or whatever you wanna call it because the name becomes part of the flavor of your world.
The next thing you want to do is take one unit of that currency and equal it to a commonly bought item that costs 1 Unit of your currency. In my world that is the Ale Standard. The average Ale at any given tavern across the world costs 1 Coin. So when pricing things I ask myself how many Ales is this worth? And then I build off of that, creating other value benchmarks I can reference along the way, and very often using real world pricing to reflect the Coin cost.
Best of all it is not hard to track! Most people understand and are skilled enough with basic currency values, and so operating this way just makes sense to them. That aforementioned apple now costs a Quarter Coin… you know $0.25. Your player, who is about to begin tracking their wealth the way we track modern money, knows exactly how to take a quarter off their total. No more dealing with conversion tables for different coinages.
Say you go out to eat at an average restaurant. You get a drink (Ale). That drink typically costs about 205% of a single mid-priced meal. So an Ale is one Coin and a meal is 4 Coins. Total package 5 Coins. That is $4 for a drink and $16 for a meal so $20. A mid-level hotel stay is about $120 (30 Coins). A day’s wages for a poor lifestyle is 2sp according to the PHB. Which 20% of a gp, which according to our math above is about $120 a day or… $15 an hour… or 30 Coins. Which tracks for a poor but not squalid lifestyle. Stuff like that! And now that we’ve figured out a day’s wages we can easily calculate almost any value in our world simply by multiplying it by 30 Coins.
“But Mike” you cry “This does not sound simpler.”
Not up front. No. No, it does not. But after just a few conversions it will start to feel natural and just hang on… Imabout to blow your mind.
Once your “Coin” value is set and you have a good working knowledge of your base currency you can begin to quickly set reward values and costs in the D&D World that are often nebulous to us. As I said before, the pricing in the PHB doesn’t track well once they move into the Gp territory. A longsword in D&D would cost a ridiculous amount if Gp is translated accurately on the gold scale. But now we’re able to fix that, quickly. We’ve already determined a poor day’s wages above was 2sp (30 Coins), that means a D&D Gp should be worth 150 Coins. But according to the PHB a longsword is 15gp. Or 75 days worth of labor. Or you know… $9000. Which is BONKERS! And don’t even get me started on the cost of Full Plate Armor! A standard Iron Longsword, nothing fancy, probably took a couple days to make. So paying a laborer 30 Coins a day for two days is 60 Coins, plus say another 15 Coins for materials putting it at $350, Which, according to the internet, is completely in the ballpark for a “middling quality” hand forged weapon even by today’s standards.
This quickly translates to everything that happens in the world around you. You can begin to take a day’s wages and real world pricing and reduce it down to coins VERY quickly. Need a cart ride to the next town? 30 coins for the day’s work. Want a few hours worth of errands run? 15 Coins! Want a fence built over the next two days? 60 Coins. Sure it was easy to just say a Gp. But imagine paying someone $450 just to water your horse. That is insane, but we do it in our games all the time!
Looking for a skilled or expert laborer, double up the cost of the day’s wage! For example, building a simple one room house (Think Log Shed)? 5 skilled laborers at 60 Coins a day for 5 days would be 1500 Coins ($6000 for those not doing the math. Guess how much a 20x20 Aamish built shed costs?) Add land and furnishing costs and the total comes in at about, oh lets say, 10,000 coins or $40,000! Which feels about right for a tiny piece of land with a small furnished building on it. I mean compare that to a Basic Guildhall which has a listed cost in the DMG of 5000gp or you know almost $3,000,000… A cost that could be used to realistically build 65 20x20 buildings. You could build a good sized village for that cost if we’re talking sensible pricing.
Shifting gears back to selling stuff off, it is also now very easy for the players to reasonably counter-offer if they go after a deal… which we all know they love to do. And to have stuff ordered and crafted for them! Now when they do these things, you can make up prices that feel real and connective on the fly without needing to consult the PHB or DMG. How much does a healing potion cost? (PHB says $21,000) Pfffft…. You just quickly guess at and add some things like 10 Days of work, Highly Skilled Labor (say 100 Coins a day), and Expensive Materials (500 Coins). Voilà, your potion costs 1500 Coins. Or realistically, just over 3gp. Still pricy to early level adventurers but also still within reach!
I use the Ale Standard because it is close to realistic pricing, but still simple enough to multiply quickly. But if that is still a little too mathy for you, just jump a day’s wages being 25 or 50 coins. Multiplication by quarters and halves is a lot faster for those of us who don’t like math. It isn’t quite as on the money as realistic pricing as 30 coins, but it is still way better than $900,000 Full Plate Armor… or you know 2143 TVs.
I know this is a huge departure from the PHB economy, and that can be a little hard to get your head around. But I encourage you to do it! I think you’ll be surprised at how easy it is once you get going and best of all, you now just turned your “How much does that cost?” “One Gold” “How much does that cost?” “One Gold” “How much does that cost?” “One Gold” shopping sprees into something that actually reflects costs and makes money matter again. It becomes easy to charge them for things like tailoring and blacksmithing in a way that feels real and most importantly fun. Because let’s face it, when everything costs a gold, it becomes a lot less fun to spend a gold.
“But so what? We’ve done these extra hurdles, and for what? I could still do all this and use the coins listed in the Rule Books!”
Well, hang with me till next week when I show you the most wonderful effect doing this causes. How switching to Coins makes treasure matter more than it has since it was tied to Experience Points!
WHO WE ARE & WHAT WE DO My son and I are armchair content creators who donate our work to the hobby at large. We host our material on an absolutely free Patreon which runs like a D&D Magazine, posting mostly Maps and Full Adventures. I dabble into other areas like stories, and thoughts on the game. We use any donations to fund an afterschool TTRPG Club and of course our own hobbies and pizza. If you would like to make some requests or support the work you can check us out at AMPLUS ORDO GAMES
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2023.06.05 16:12 LadybugSunfl0wer PSA: take care of your pelvic floor
Take care of your pelvic floor!!! No one ever told me how important my pelvic floor muscles are. I gave birth two times. I was told about tearing, diastasis, haemorrhoids, hair falling out, boobs getting saggy, stretch marks, hyperpigmentation, low libido PP, hormones shift, lack of sleep… I was never ever told about the possibility of the pelvic organ prolapse!
This isn’t meant to scare you! But it’s estimated that 30-50% of women develop some form of prolapse postpartum and the number could be even higher. Most OBs won’t tell you if you have a mild or moderate pelvic organ prolapse (POP). They’ll simply state that you have a normal postpartum vagina. And while POP is common it is not normal.
Exercise and strengthening of the pelvic floor muscles, before and during pregnancy, together with learning how to push can help prevent POP from happening. It’s also really important to absolutely not lift anything other than the baby in the PP period and to absolutely avoid constipation and straining on the toilet.
Symptoms of POP include stress incontinence, urge incontinence, fecal incontinence, heavy feeling in the vagina, feeling like there is a tampon stuck, feeling like your organs are about to fall out, a visible bulge in the vagina and more.
Most women with POP don’t have any symptoms but it’s important to be aware of having mild or moderate POP so you can take steps to prevent worsening of the POP degree that can happen at any time but especially once you hit menopause.
Postpartum POP can improve or even resolve with proper exercise and pelvic floor physical therapy. PT can help you learn how to properly breathe, lift and exercise so that you don’t put any undue pressure on your pelvic floor. Just doing Kegels is not enough…
I was totally blindsided. My POP happened a few days after my second birth. I lifted my baby together with his car seat and I felt something drop in my pelvis. I thought I’ve popped my stitches and went to have a look and there was a golf ball sized bulge at the entrance of my vagina. My bladder prolapsed. Then a few weeks later I got constipated and strained on the toilet and I developed a mild rectocele on top of my cystocele. It sucks! But I’m starting PT today and I’m feeling hopeful.
Again this isn’t meant to scare you but to raise awareness. I’m still angry no one ever told me about this and I’ve discovered both my mom and my sister had some form of POP after giving birth.
(English is not my first so I apologise for any grammar mistakes)
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