Hi, I used to watch all anime dubbed in chinese on https://www.ktkkt.top/ and suddenly it just stopped working and now the website won't load anymore, which makes me so upset because it was such a cool website to practice my Chinese listening. Does anyone know of a site that is the same or if there is anyway of making it work again? I would be truly grateful, thank you :)

The giveaway where you also give back! I'm offering a quick trade for any valid steam key. If there's something on the list you want, make me a sensible offer and it will most likely be accepted. The list keeps on cycling so check back at any point as there may be something you like added later on!
I'm not after lists to look through, I want you to offer me your unwanted steam keys for games from this list of a similar value. Think of it like a book swap - take one and leave one. You get a game you want and the one you leave might be the one somebody else wants.
PLEASE NOTE: Due to the nature of the quick swap, most of these keys are from previous trades and donations and I have no way to verify them or check for region locks. Even with the best intentions from all sides, mistakes will be made and some of these keys may not work. I'll always send the key first and ask you to redeem before sending me anything to make sure they work for you.

How it works

1. You offer me any steam game(s) of a similar value to any of those in this list in the comments. Please comment first, don't just DM me.
2. I say yes if the games you want are still available and we trade. I'll DM you the keys first for you to redeem then you send me yours once you're happy they worked. Please also let me know of any region locks when we trade.
3. The keys you give me go back on the list ready to trade with someone else and the cycle starts again.

Games Available:

Always let me send you the key first so you can check it works

Tier 1 (Key value of £1 or less)

• 12 is better than 6
• Alcatraz Builder
• Alien Spidy
• Amerzone: The Explorer's Legacy (x3)
• Anomaly Korea
• Aura: Fate of the Ages
• Automatic War
• Aveyond 3-1: Lord of Twilight
• Bad Rats
• Bionic Commando: Rearmed (x2)
• Black Moon Chronicles
• Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines
• Commandos 2: Men of Courage
• Commandos 3: Destination Berlin
• Control Craft 2
• Crash Time 3
• Curse: The Eye of Isis (x3)
• Deadly 30 (x2)
• Deponia
• DESOLATE
• DOOM 64
• Dub Dash
• Ecchi Jack (NSFW)
• El Matador (x2)
• Explodemon
• Flashback (Classic)
• Garfield Kart (x3)
• Grav Blazer Squared
• Greed: Black Border
• Grotesque Tactics: Evil Heroes (x2)
• Hacker Evolution Source Code (x2)
• Hidden Shapes Animals - Jigsaw Puzzle Game
• Hotshot Racing
• Hue (x2)
• Idle Champions - Celeste Starter Pack (DLC)
• Imperial Glory
• Konung 2 (x2)
• Leisure Suit Larry 7 - Love for Sail (x3)
• Manual Samuel
• Mata Hari
• Megarace 1 (x5)
• Megarace 2 (x3)
• Memories of a Vagabond
• Men of War
• Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
• Miner Wars 2081
• Mini Words: Top Movies
• NOT the Hero
• Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
• Onikira: Demon Killer
• Overcast: Walden and the Werewolf
• Overcooked 2: Surf 'n' Turf Pack (DLC)
• Paradox Soul
• Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic (x3)
• Pumped BMX Pro
• Puzzle Kingdoms (x2)
• Red Risk
• Safety First!
• Save the Dodos
• Slain: Back From Hell
• Smoke and Sacrifice (NA Region Locked)
• Soulcraft
• Space Empires V
• Stacking
• Still Life
• Survivalist (x2)
• S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
• Syberia
• Syberia II (x2)
• The Next Door
• Theatre of War 2: Africa 1943 (x2)
• Time Lock VR 1
• UFO: Afterlight
• Unstable Portal
• Vault Cracker
• Voyage: Journey to the Moon (x2)
• Warrior Kings

Tier 2 (Key value of £1 - £2)

• Autonauts (x2)
• Autonauts vs Piratebots
• Beat Hazard (x3)
• Blacksad: Under the Skin
• Crazy Machines: Golden Gears
• Darwinia (x3)
• Darwinia Soundtrack
• Game Dev Studio
• King's Bounty: Armored Princess
• Multiwinia
• Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
• 🧠 OUT OF THE BOX
• Silver Chains
• Time Loader

Tier 3 (Key value of £2 or more)

• Bomber Crew Deluxe Edition (x2)
• Comedy Night
• Golfing in Aether
• Horror Story: Hallowseed
• Mysteries of the Past: Shadow of the Daemon (Delisted)
• Snooker 19
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2

I'm depending on people being honest for this to work and I'll keep track of where all keys come from so I can report any abuse to the mods. Please don't re-trade these keys any further since I can't guarantee they will work and I don't know if there are any region locks. I don't want you to be accused of scamming! I'll always ask you to redeem first in a trade before sending me any keys but if you choose not to redeem as we trade then I won't be held responsible for any future problems as I have given you fair warning.

Valuing Trades

We'll use gg.deals UK key shops price as a way to compare the value of games. If a key shop price isn't available we'll use best judgement based on retail price and recent bundles. Key values change daily so if you notice something is in the wrong tier please let me know. To keep things accessible we'll cap key value at £2.
As a general rule I will usually accept any game in the same tier as a fair trade. I've also accepted trades with games at the top end of a lower tier for games at the bottom end of the next tier. We can trade multiples to even out values but they don’t need to be exact as long as the trade is reasonable. If I already have a surplus of a game you're offering, I may turn you down until the existing copies have been traded.
If anyone just wants to donate any keys that are no good to them to the list then I’m always grateful to receive them. Just DM me and I’ll add them. A huge thank you to those that have already donated keys to this project.

Region Locks

Any region locks I know about with be noted next to the affected games. I have no way to check so there may be others. I'll always go first in a trade so you can make sure the key works for you before sending me any of yours.

Why?

A short while ago I had some spare keys from bundles that I couldn't find a trade for. The traders with the games I wanted already owned the games I had and the traders who wanted the games I had didn't have anything I'd want in return. I was thinking of giving up and giving away my keys but then I had an idea - If I was willing to accept any game in return, I could trade with those that wanted my games and break the trading deadlocks for the more common, lower value games. I could add the games I didn't want myself back onto the list and if I ended up with a load of rubbish that nobody wanted then I'd only lost what I was willing to give away anyway.
Even though re-trading is nothing new, removing personal interest and accepting a trade for any game makes trading much more accessible to others - especially those with only a few spare keys. The idea was popular and it gained momentum. I also received some generous donations and the list grew into what you see above. Even though I don't get much from it myself (I do keep the occasional game that catches my eye) I am happy that I can help others get games they can play in exchange for keys they have no use for. The community has really come through with honesty, helping to grow this into something worthwhile.
Thanks everyone!
My IGSRep Page.

An old friend of mine once told me never to go to Necro town. I asked him why but he just never gave me the answer. Looking far from my home town, Necro town looked abandoned and was never owned by anybody nearby. Whenever I look out into that town, I wonder about it. The unknown and its many mysteries.
My old friend seems to have lived in that place but he never did. It's as if he was making up a horror story about Necro town. But, I did what he told me to. Never go there. Ever.
I asked my parents about that place. They never knew anything about it except it's just a wasteland. Grandpa never knew about it either. Such a mystery as to why would my old friend prohibit me from entering but my dad said otherwise. "If you want to go there and explore the place, I guess you can. But you better be careful from strangers alright kid."
By the time I turned 14, the bully in my school keeps getting worse on me. I get slammed into a locker, get my head knocked out, and even beaten up. I really don't want to go back to school but how am I supposed to convince my parents that?
The reason I don't have any friends at school was mostly because they don't like me as a person. I expressed myself for who I am and yet I get mocked by them all the time. calling me many names like freak, loser, norm, or even Melvin the idiot. Was it because I'm different? I have no clue about them at all.
I tried to fight back but they just keep winning every time. So then, I run away from school in the middle of classes, lunch breaks, and activities but every time I do, a teacher always caught me down and send me to the principles office. I lied to them and said "Because I wanna get candy." Or "I forgot my books back home.". I don't want to tell them the truth because I knew how much big trouble I'm going to have if I do.
I tried escaping all over again and finally I made it one day. And whenever I escaped, I always go to my old friends house. We go into the woods to go fishing in the pond. I love seeing those shiny blue fishes in the waters because they're just so beautiful when I look at them in the afternoon.
My old friend's name is Brandon West. He's of course much older than me because he's about 64 years old and for some reason he got so much energy to keep himself moving. He always have his brown firm cane with him everywhere he goes. He tells me tales of ancient beings, heavens and hells, the Sturgeon, and the blue turbo.
I've asked about the blue turbo and all he said was. "He's a sad man." Sad man sounds like he's been through a lot.
The blue turbo was born in a world where flame people live. They all have special powers depending on their shape and colors of their bodies. Green flame, blue flame, red flame, etc. He grew up with lovely parents who have similar powers to his. His power is both his parents powers. In his childhood, he grew fond of his friends and family that he devoted his life to protect the good in life.
In his teenage years, he became an officer. Protecting the people who are in danger. It was starting to get dangerous for him, but that never means he won't give up.
In his late 20s, he became a well devoted guardian, fighting against the evil dark powers from beneath the world's surface. He loved everything that is good in life. He had a wife and son while being a guardian. Their relationship was strong and they did whatever it takes to enjoy life. But then one day, the world around them turned into a warfare. The evil dark powers are killing people whilst they fight back. He fought hard and won. But it was at a huge cost. He lost his wife and child right in front of his eyes. Lost what's left in the world. He fell to a deep depression, which he quit being a guardian and was never to be seen again.
Brandon always looked sad whenever he told me the blue turbo. It's as if that felt real and it did happen. But, it is compelling. I asked him about where did the blue turbo go. He said. "Don't know. But wherever he is, he'll still devote himself in life."
One day when I was 16, I escaped school again and this time it didn't go well. By the time I walked behind the basketball court, I was caught by the bully and his gang. "Well oh well. Looks like Melvin the idiot is trying to leave the school all by himself. You're really going to leave again just so that you'll get away from us? That ain't happening norm." They were going to beat me up badly, so I didn't waste anymore time as I ran away from them. I didn't know how fast I was at this point.
They kept following me as I ran on the sidewalk. I didn't want to look back because I knew very well that if I did, I'll slow down. The running footsteps behind me kept pacing towards me. I can hear the loud steps as if they're like the golem's foot. My breath is getting shallow the more I keep running and my legs began to grow numb and sore. But I never slowed down nor stop. I just kept running until I finally lost them.
"Get back here you freak!!"
"We're going to kill you loser!!"
Then, a road towards Necro Town appeared before me. The words from Brandon echoed inside my mind not to go in there. My heart beats in fear. The bully and his gang chasing behind me like I'm their food to eat. My legs are about to surrender to my exhaustion and I can feel every pain coming from my muscles.
I can hear the footsteps behind me as I think of any other options. There are no other ways to go except into Necro town. I don't want to be beaten up or killed. Then, every memory of myself being bullied by them flashes into my mind, making me very angry. I'm sick and tired of being their punching bag. It's time for me to fight back!
I stopped at my tracks and turned to face them. Face to face. They stood on their grounds before me. Laughing at me with mockery. I stood my grounds and prepared myself for the worst. "I'm tired of being your punching bag! It's time for me to stand up for myself! I'm not afraid of you!!" But I lied. I'm still scared of getting beaten up. All I want is for them to stop bullying me forever.
The bully rushes towards me and I was ready to punch him at any moment given. By the time he's in front of me, I missed my shot. The punishment for my failed attempt to punch him was getting knocked out by getting punched in the face. I fell to the ground, knocking my head against it. My body passed through the limits of entering Necro town. My head and shoulders lay on the Necro town grounds.
I was then slowly dragged into Necro town by the bully's gang. I can feel the painful sting on my back as I get dragged. Suddenly, before I went to sleep mode, I heard screams. The bully's scream fades far away and his gang gets slowly decreasing. My arms are dropped down. The hands that held me tight are loosened from my arms so fast. I can hear each of them screaming in fear as piece by piece they disappear. Then I blacked out.
I woke up to find myself in an empty dark room. While my vision was getting clear, I slowly stand back up. When I got back my conscious, I gagged from the awful stench that just came from inside this room. I looked around to see where's the door for my escape and there, I see the shining golden knob reflecting my sight. I ran and grab hold of it, then twist it to open the door. To my very eyes, I've witnessed the most insane horror I've ever had in my life.
The sources aren't just in the room I was in. It was also in the living room because there are 5 dead bodies hanging like pig meat. Their flesh cut and sliced so disgustingly brutal that I can see their organs and tissues beginning to slip out of the sockets. Blood and bones are spread around the floor, shining the cold light that shines through the curtains of the outside. When I look at the top of their corpses, there are eyes looking directly at me with fear. Then I realize that they're still alive.
They suddenly screamed everywhere with the pain they share. I blocked my ears with my palm as I felt the twist in my stomach getting worse. Tears rapidly escapes out of my eyes that I shut my eyes tight. I quickly ran out of there and arrived to a room that is full of random colors. The colors are wrong. They're all wrong in many different ways that I can't describe so well about it. The screams and the colors made me vomit all over the floor. I nearly fell to the ground but I kept myself back up in hopes of leaving this place. I want to go home. I want to see Brandon again. I wished I'd rather get beaten up in the basketball court than coming here to lead my bully and his crew to their unholy demise.
I spun around in a frenzy and saw the bright and weird door before me. I quickly opened it and I was met with a freezing atmosphere. The world turned into some sort of hell. There are large stone spikes all over Necro town, crushing through the houses. The sky all grey and the sun is smiling at me with an empty mouth. Its eyes glaring at me in those sockets. The Sockets are too big for the eye balls that I thought it'll fall to the ground but it didn't.
I don't see anybody else outside. There's only the deformed flesh like trees and broken homes. My heart begins to panic. The world is making me crazy and horrified at the same time that I froze in place.
Something was walking behind me. They felt wrong, all wrong like it's not human. I turned around to see nothing. Literally nothing. There's no room filled with colors and the screaming stopped. Far away from myself is the darkest room I've ever seen. All dark. No light. Nothing.
I closed the door behind me and checked the room that was hanging my bully and his colleagues but they're all gone and the wall is stained with blood. The writing gave me enough chills and fear that drives me mad. There is no god to save you, Hermit
I spun around in a frenzy as if someones looking at me. I can feel the eyes are at me and I don't know where it is until a stomp noise can be heard right in the room I woke up in. At first, there were loud footsteps, and now it's banging on the door like a maniac. I didn't wait for it to come out of course. So I ran away, outside in the hellish Necro town.
I'm running on the road now and something is coming for me. Thoughts popping inside my head about whatever is coming for me, it won't lose my tracks as it can smell my very soul. Until I was very far away from the house I was in, a loud scream booms from that house. The scream is like the thousand souls tormented in hell for all eternity. I can feel its gaze at me with its hellish intentions.
I didn't stop to look back. I just kept running until I get into my home. How far is this town? Because I've been running for much longer and the town shouldn't be so far. The footsteps are getting closer as my heart beats faster with every second of its footsteps getting closer.
My legs became so sore and numb, and my lungs became so shallow from the burning air. I suddenly coughed so much that I fell to the ground, hitting my elbow. I tried to crawl away but it was already too late as the thing behind me has already come to get me. I rolled on my back and looked forward to see a tall hideous figure.
It was a tall humanoid with coal like skin. Its skin tightens its bones and I can see its red blood veins pulse around its deflated muscles. Its legs are of a goat's legs, resembling the creature to be something demonic like the devil. The arms are so long that its length is from shoulder to feet. Snd its fingers are way too long that it's like a monstrous claw. Its head is not human, more like a hood connecting to its shoulders. It's not the long and impossible stretched jaw that made me scream. The eyes are because there's nothing in them. Nothing but darkness of Sheol.
It's reaching me with those hideous claws while screaming like a wild demonic animal ready to pounce on their prey. Is this really how I was going to die. To be brutally mauled by its claws and jaw. Will I share the same fate as the bully and his comrades? I don't want to know and I never want to live like this. I'm scared. I don't want to die.
By the time it reaches me, something bright hits it. It's like I'm looking at a fireball? It was big. Bigger than my torso. I looked upwards to see a bright blue figure approaching me. It's like I'm looking at someone from the afterlife because its whole body is in flames except for a recognizable coat, pants, and a cane.
"It's been so long since I've fought these creatures." It was a voice of an old man I recognize clearly. But this doesn't make any sense at all. It's so strange for this guy to sound like Brandon but his voice matches him.
The creature growled at him like a dog and I didn't waste anytime to get away from it. But the smoking smell in my lungs prohibit me to get away. It's like I was dying. But my eyes are alright.
The creature jumps over me, attacking the savior of my life. He shot another fire ball at it and that makes the creature soar back. The creature stands back up wildly before the stranger appeared before it as if he teleported in a blink of an eye. He wack his cane at its head which rips off from its neck. This stranger killed that creature like its nothing but when he turned around I can see fear on his face.
His face, I can see his eyes and mouth. There's also 2 triangular scar at the sides of his chin and they're not burning in flames. "Melvin. I can explain later but right now we have to leave." He said my name just like Brandon does. This is insane, I don't know if I was dreaming or it's real because everything is going mad.
"Let me help you up." He held me by the arm, pulling me up from the ground as I tried to take a breath. My legs are too tired for me to walk. But when he pulled me from the ground, I felt a great sensation of cleansing in my lungs and my legs and muscles began to relax. His hands doesn't hurt nor burn me as if it's a regular hand with no effect on me. I look at him and still he's in fear. Why would he be scared too?
"Brandon?" I said with fear and question in my voice. He looked at me with defeat as if he can't hide that away anymore. That's how I knew he's Brandon. "Well. Looks like you figured it out. But come on. Lets move now. You don't want the fish and chips cold." As he ran, I followed in pursuit. My legs felt reborn and my lungs have increased somehow. This felt so real. Everything does. I'm not dreaming at all. It's really happening. I kept asking Brandon with many questions from my head. "You're the blue turbo?"
"Yes. I am."
"Where were you after you quit being a -"
"Melvin. Now is not the time. We have to go. I'll answer them until we reach home ok."
We were suddenly blocked by 5 more of these creatures. They're just like the one I met before when I was being chased. I hid behind Brandon for safety as the creatures screams. I stepped far back from them, not wanting to turn into their puppet or something worse. I looked around to see more of them approaching us with hungry mouths. We're surrounded.
We stand with our backs facing each other. I'm horrified to see more of these demonic creatures all around us, ready to pounce at any moment. When I turn to see Brandon I thought he would be scared but he looks like he knew this would happen. "Melvin, when I say go, run away and don't look back. Keep running no matter what."
"What? But I don't want to leave you."
"I know. But this is the least I can do for you to live. You know my story Melvin. You know why."
My heart sank from the message. Leaving him here with all these creatures, I don't even know if he'll live on after this. But what can I do against these creatures. I'm just a human. I felt so much fear and guilt. After for what I've done to myself and Brandon. I wished I never had run away.
The monsters are creeping in. I can hear the chatters from their jaws and the footsteps around us. The creatures are ready to kill us because their backs are lifting up as a sign of predatory nature. Then suddenly when Brandon pierces his cane to the ground a loud boom vibrated around us as blue circular waves from the cane emerges out. The waves created a gravitational force that the creatures started floating in the air. Except we weren't floating. "GO!!"
And with that, I ran away as fast as I can, far away from this hell, far away from the only friend I have in my life. I can hear the sounds of vibration turned shut quiet and the screams of the demonic creatures so loud I ran even more faster. Tears are falling from my cheek with the guilt squeezing my heart with pain.
When I finally escaped and was on the clear road, I cried. I cried so much that I can feel everything around me started to fall. I've lost my best friend in Necro town and it's all my fault. If I hadn’t ran away, none of this would’ve happened. I've lost him. I was lying on the ground with the deepest depression in my soul hurting me. I can't bare to lose my friend. I just can't. What am I even supposed to do? I can't save him. I'm not strong enough. I'm just scared.
I'm now sitting at the front porch of Brandon's home. Waiting for him to come back for days. I haven't eaten anything nor come back home or school. I just stayed there waiting for him to come back. I'm alone and scared.
I kept being bothered by random people. They ask why I'm still outside. I never did answer until they called the hospital or the cops. I told them there's nothing to worry about but they don't believe me. If I tell them the truth, they'll die in Necro town and I don't want that for them. I don't believe the cops would understand.
From every hospital or cops I went through, I just kept coming back. Even my parents told me to stay home, I snuck out in the night waiting for my old friend. I did eat sometimes but not really much. I just went to my room until night time arrives.
Then, one day, at midnight, he's back. He's really back. I was so happy and glad he's alive just the way he is. But when I approached to hug him, he collapsed down to his knees. I was exploded with fear and worry. I helped him up and asked him what just happened. "I don't have much time Melvin. Lets go inside, we have a visitor I think you would like to meet. Meet Judith Wednesday." Behind him was a girl who's the same age as me. Her hair is black and she wore a grey hoodie with a logo I've never seen in my whole life. She was covered in dark red blood. The blood that is definitely from the creatures in Necro town.
We all went in and I gave Brandon a seat on the couch. Judith sat next to his left. And me, I sat next to his right. "Brandon, what happened?"
He looked at me with a smile on his face as he begins to change form in front of my eyes. His body changed like he was glowing and the flames form around him. His form now just like the form I saw while at Necro city. "Well. With the help of this young lady, we've defeated all the monsters. But, for me, it didn't go well for me. I'm slowly dying you see. I'm not going to have much time in this world."
"But you can't die. You're like spiritual aren't you?"
"Yes. But that doesn't mean death can't happen to me. I don't know where people like me go when they die. Nobody does."
I can feel my heart race as the tears slides on my face. I can't help myself but to cry before him.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have ran away. I shouldn't have."
"Melvin. It's not your fault. I saved you because I wanted you to live a life I protected. It's my choice. And I'm glad I did. And you didn’t do anything to get there on purpose. I would’ve done the same thing by running if I were you. Now. Lets go fishing together. One last time."
I wiped my tears away, trying my best not to ruin this very moment but I just couldn't help myself. He reached out his arms and I took it. I hugged him tightly whilst crying so deeply that I don't want to let go. We've stayed like this for couple of minutes until I finally let go with my soul finally relaxing but with small sadness. My guilt is free.
We grabbed our fishing equipment and went to the river in the forest. Judith follows us with a fishing rod in hand. I don't feel anything like talking to her but at least we both have company. To share the moment together I guess. But this is for Brandon and I hope she knew that too.
When we arrived at the jetty and started placing worm food at the hooks. Brandon was the first to throw his fishing hook. The fishing hook was glowing blue, just like his flames. The pond glowed so bright like a lantern. It was beautiful. The fishes shine so bright from the light. It's as if the world around us is gone and all that matters was this very moment before death.
Judith was struggling to put the worm food at the hook. I went to help her but she said. "It's ok. I got it." By the time her finger was nearly stabbed by the hook, the tip of her finger turned into metal. But that didn't bother me because at this moment, it felt like home. We just laughed. I don't know why we were laughing and it's like being a kid again.
We threw our fishing hooks in the pond, waiting for a fish to bite. The shiny blue fishes. They're more beautiful than I'd remembered. The stains of my tears fades away. "Melvin. You promise me that you'll stay strong?"
I heard Brandon said and I didn't believe it at first. How can I be strong for those that really need help or even myself? "I'm not strong."
"You are. You're strong the way you are. It's ok to be scared because that's a part of how we live. You're a good man Melvin. You just got to believe in yourself."
"How?"
With a smile on his face, he replied. "You find ways to make yourself better. Achieve your goals. And enjoy life." His words are so convincing that I begin to believe that. My eyes caught my attention to Judith with a warm and sad smile on her face. For some reason, that helped me believe too. I think I can be strong if that's what he said. "Ok. I'll be strong."
"Good. Remember Melvin, you're not alone." And with a sad and free smile on his face, he faded away before my very eyes. His body evaporated into nothing as the last bits of his flames disappear. The tears in my eyes slowly fell as I look into the the pond and the sun beginning to rise.
"I know how it feels." I heard Judith said.
"Really?'
"I've lost my mom and dad to cancer. My mom died when I turned 8. My dad died when I'm at the age of 16. I felt so depressed when my parents die right in front of me. I can't do anything except watch."
"I guess we both got the same moment then. I wish I could just get him back." She looked at me with sad eyes. This very moment makes us feel so calmly sad like its a funeral or somewhere quiet.
"I know. But there's nothing we can do. We just have to move forward with the memories."
It was nice to have someone with me who had similar stories like mine. She was right, we can't do anything about it. We can't get them back. It was hard for me, I know well. Like she said, I had to move forward and keep the memories I had with Brandon. I looked at the sky and prayed that wherever Brandon is now, he's at peace with his wife and son. In a good life he deserved.
It's been a few weeks. I stopped trying to escape school because my bully's are gone. But that didn't make me feel better at all nor felt good. Their parents looked everywhere for them, even the cops but they're not found. Some of the cops went into Necro town and was never heard of again. I wished I could warn them but they don't believe me when I did.
Judith came to visit me every now and then whenever I left school. We exchange stories of our past lives and other stories shared by others. We became close as friends as we kept hanging out with each other. I'm very glad and happy to have a new friend. She's not like any other teenager I've ever met. She's really good with cutting wood. She even shot an arrow directly at the fish in the river.
She's really cool but also depressing. She doesn't have any other friends and doesn't even go to school. Her mom died first, which is the reason she stopped going to school. So that she'll spend more time with her dad just like with her mom. She didn't want any friends. She only wanted her mom and dad and they're enough for her. Until she lost them. They were everything to her. But as time goes, she moved on and came here.
I knew how she fought the creatures with Brandon. At first I thought she was lost like me too but she's much stronger than I'd think. She told me she got a robot spirit within her spirit. A fusion. She can form into the form of her spiritual companion. Her name was Athena and in every single dream she kept coming over in her dreams, babbling random stuff. She's inside of her head, which means she's the everyday annoying voice in her mind that she cannot get away from. I felt bad for her at first but she shrugged it off, saying. "But hey, we got along with each other. Even that I don't like her at first, she's a person too."
One day, we went to the woods at night with our flash lights. It was horrifying for me because we could get lost so easily here. Sweat poured down on my forehead as we kept walking into the woods. Until suddenly, a bright blue light in front of us glows in the night. When we approached the light, it was the pond.
The pond was glowing the same light as Brandon's. This never happened ever in every night or day. Unless he did something or he somehow resides there. But I don't feel like he's there. But I can feel something else.
We walked to the jetty until we stopped near the edge. The pond is as beautiful as I remember with the blue shiny fishes swimming around it. I wonder what happens if I put my hand in the pond. Will I feel something warm or something else. Maybe my arm will glow. I don't know. But then something grew within my soul. A connection. As if the pond wants me to put my hand in. It felt amusing.
So I did it without hesitation. It felt warm as I swim my right hand in the water. The water suddenly jumped on my arm. I thought I was going to panic but I didn't flinch. Instead I let it do what it does. Judith tried to pull me away but I told her not to. She then watched as the glow of the pond gathered around the water that is holding my arm. I felt a great sensation of warmth and heat. I felt a stinging pain all over my arm but it quickly turned into a cold feeling.
All of the glow of the blue flame from the pond is now on my arm, glowing as small flames flew up from my arm, just like Brandon's head of flames. As the glow fades away, I can see clearly that my arm is stained with bright blue.
The pond is now empty of normal water and the fish swims peacefully. We were both shocked as to what happened. Did the glow of Brandon's flames just fused with my arm? I can definitely feel the power from my arm coursing with my soul. "How did it feel?"
"It felt like, painful at first but went normal. I don't know." A realization hit me that I forgot where my flashlight was. I looked to find nothing. Judith helped me out by lighting around the place but it wasn't enough. Suddenly, I felt something in my arm. I lift my hand up and gripped tight, making a bold fist. When I opened my hand, a bright blue flame appeared before me. A bright orb of blue flame glowing our surroundings.
It's as if I knew what I was doing. It's like my soul is connected to this power. When I looked at Judith, her face was a surprised look. I'm surprised as well. So I think I have Brandons powers now. I think I know the reason the glow came tonight. Brandon gave me his powers because what's the point in keeping them when he's living in a peaceful life. I understand now.
I looked around and found my flashlight dropped in the pond. I was frightened that it could've electrocuted the fishes but it didn't. I wasn't paying any attention to it. Accidentally dropping my flashlight. But it looked to be drained off somehow. When I was grabbing in for it, the pond created a vortex beneath the touch of my right palm.
It was shockingly beautiful to watch. The vortex flows so smoothly. I then put my foot on the ground and the pond made space for me to be able to move around. The fish swims all around the pond as I stepped on the ground of the pond beneath me. It was dry. All dry. I grabbed my flashlight and looked up to the jetty. To Judith. With a smile on her face, she said. "This is so cool."
I smiled back as the pond begins to glow and my right hand glows with blue the blue flames. I stand on the ground of the pond my old friend and I loved going to. I have the gift from Brandon and now, I think I'll use this power for good.
I looked up into the night sky, watching the stars shine above whilst a shooting star appeared with them.
I'll be strong Brandon. I'll overcome every obstacle I come across and overcome the suffering. I'll be strong for who I am. And no one is going to stand in my way of doing that.

It's Thursday. I got wrapped up in playing Diablo and forgot to take a nap before work. I'm on an egg fast(6 eggs with 6 tbsp of butter and an ounce of cheese twice a day) so I can't buy a bit of ice cream to power through the night. And the hotel is filled with a bunch of kids who were apparently given coffee or something, because they won't go the hell to sleep.
So my night hasn't been great. How about you?
But this tale isn't about tonight. Not my part in it, anyway. The fallout happened today though. But for now, a musical interlude.

There are those who think that life
Has nothing left to chance
With a host of holy horrors
To direct our aimless dance

Our cast includes Me, Booking Agent(BA), Coworkers(CW1/2) and the star of our little tale, Karen, Mistress of the Self Frag(K).
Last night was fairly slow. I'm working on figuring out what my PC in our tabletop campaign is gonna do next session(she failed really hard in some combats due to bad dice after a kid she's kinda looking out for asked for her to teach him to fight better, so that's gonna be a morose conversation later). And then I get a call and give my Standard Hotel Greeting.
K: "Hi, yeah. So I have a reservation under Karen McCustomer for arriving tonight, but due to some issues, I won't be making it in tonight. I still need the room for Thursday night though. Any way I can cancel the first night but keep the second?"
Me: "Let me take a look at that for you."
I load up her reservation and... uh oh. I have to give her some bad news.
Me: "Unfortunately, it looks like you checked in via the mobile app. Due to that, I can no longer remove the first night of the stay for you. However, your second night is definitely held for you."
K: "There's nothing you can do? I'm a tier 1 shiny(lowest level above basic member)."
Me: "Unfortunately not, sorry."
K: "Well, that sucks. Okay then. Thanks for trying."
If it had ended there, I wouldn't be telling this tale. And she definitely wouldn't have been given the moniker of "Karen". So anyone reading this probably isn't terribly surprised with what comes next. About twenty minutes later, the phone rings again. I give the Standard Hotel Greeting.
BA: "Hello, yes, I'm calling from about a reservation for Ms. Karen McCustomer."
Me, internally: "Of course you are."
Me: "Okay, what can I do for you regarding that reservation?"
BA: "So, Karen has had an issue and is unable to make her first night. Is there any way to cancel the first night but keep the second one?"
Me: "As I told her when she called me a bit ago, since she checked in online through the mobile app, I can't cancel her first night."
I mean, I could have. But it would have both required me to violate hotel policy and engage in extra work. I might do one or the other when I truly feel it warranted, but not at the same time.
BA: "Oh. That makes sense. I'll let her know. Just to confirm, she will have her reservation for the second night, right? We can't risk her having her reservation no showed and her losing the second night."
Me: "That's not an issue at all. She's good to go for her second night."
BA: "That's the important part. Thanks for your help."
Me: "Thank you for calling. Have a good night."
BA: "You as well."
Again, if it had ended there, this wouldn't have been a story worth posting. Guest is told no, tries to get travel agent to talk me into saying yes. Very common tale. However, this is where my involvement in the story ends. The following interactions have been dramatized based on being recounted to me by CW2.

A planet of playthings
We dance on the strings
Of powers we cannot perceive
“The stars aren’t aligned –
Or the gods are malign”
Blame is better to give than receive

It is daytime. Late afternoon. The birds are singing. The machinery of a road crew working just down the street is singing the song of its people. The giant ball of fire is up in the sky doing...things.
Just remember kids: When has a giant ball of fire ever been good? I rest my case.
Anyway, the phone rings. It's busy, so our FOM, CW, gives the Standard Hotel Greeting as he's helping out with the desk
K: "Hi, so I had an issue with my flight, and I only needed one night of my stay."
CW: "Oh, I can fix that for you. What's the name on the reservation?"
K: "Finally, someone who can help. Karen McCustomer."
CW: "Okay, I've fixed that reservation for you."
K: "That sounded really easy. I wonder why the guy last night wouldn't fix it."
CW: "Don't know. But you're good now."
K: "Thank you."
If you've been paying attention, I'm sure you see what has happened. But CW was unwitting. And Karen thought she'd gotten what she wanted. Meanwhile CW sends up someone to make sure the room is cleaned since he just processed a really late checkout.

There are those who think that
They were dealt a losing hand
The cards were stacked against them
They weren’t born in Lotus-Land.

A couple hours later. The giant ball of fire is dipping down along the horizon. I'm at home, wondering to myself why the hell I'm playing the second lowest DPS spec in the game. And why some people keep dying to avoidable mechanics. Oh well, I'm not leading this circus. I just get to be one of the clowns.
Karen arrives, expecting to check into her room. Which has been sold. In fact, it was snapped up within moments, as CW checked the reservations screen after he hung up and we were booked solid again.
K: "What do you mean I don't have a reservation?!"
CW2: "It looks like you were checked out a couple hours ago."
K: "No! I called to cancel the first night, not tonight!"
CW2: "That wouldn't have been possible, as it was already checked in, looks like through the mobile app."
K: "That's what the guy said last night. But the guy I spoke to a couple hours ago said he could."
CW2: "He said he could cancel the first night but keep the second night?"
K, realization dawning: "...he should have known that's what I wanted!"
It devolved from there. Karens gonna Karen. But this Karen got to go Karen somewhere else. All because she chose a path that was clear. She chose free will. Next time, maybe she'll listen to the ready guide in the celestial voice of the auditor.
Who am I kidding? We all know she didn't learn a damn thing here.
I just hope you all have learned to distrust the giant ball of fire.

Hello everyone,
Here is my update for the month of may.
TW: product and brand names in spoilers.

How the month went ?

I finally hit pan in MUG Tan Lines ! It's a warm brown crease eyeshadow that I have been trying to pan for a year and a half. When I started focusing on it, I thought 30 uses tops would do it, well it took 98 uses, and the pan is really a pin prick ! But it's my favourite crease shade and it still performs perfectly, so it means I will literaly never run out. I am just very happy that I hit pan. :)
I mostly focused on wearing bright lipstick this month, which I loved !
I reached 100 wears on my liquid highlighter by Becca, it's only a sample size and I thought that it was almost done at 100 uses, so I transfered it in an empty gel liner pot... Let's just say I still have at least 2 years worth of liquid highlight in this pot, and the original tube isn't empty yet. Keeping in mind that I have two of those samples in barely different shades, because I bought those as a bundle years ago. Don't get me wrong, it's very beautiful, but the tube component was getting messy as it's getting low. Hence the transfer to another container.
I didn't recreate any look from my inspo folder. I think that as long as I'm focused on reaching usage goals on my products, at least on eyeshadows, I won't be really interested in recreating looks. I'll try it in the summer, when most of my usage goals will be reached.

Did I buy any beauty product ?

I only buy replacements for SPF when I was on the last leg of the preivous one and cleansing oil. As I couldn't decide which beauty product to buy, I didn't buy any makeup this month.
I also haven’t bought gel yet, so my hair doesn’t look as curly and cute as it usually does.

June Plans

I will be on a 3 weeks holiday in Scotland, so I won't have time to think about buying makeup. June will be a no buy month.
Here is what I am shopping my stash for next month:

• Rituel de Fille Lust neutral blush - 5 uses
• Natasha Denona Glow highlighter - 15 uses
• Patrick Ta She's so different blush for ruddy cheeks - 5 uses
• Marc Jacobs J'adore cool toned statement lipstick - 5 uses
• Nars Bette Vampy lipstick - 5 uses
• LE Kitten Mischief MLBB lipstick - 10 uses
• Clarins lip gloss - 10 uses

2023 remaining goals :

• Reach 30 uses on all of my eyeshadows and eyeliners. 48/63
• Reach 100 uses on 3 lip products. 2/3
• Reach 85 uses on all of my blushes. 4/8
• Reach 150 uses or finish all my highlighters. 2/5
• Reach 100 uses or finish 2 eyeliners. 0/2
• Wear each lip product 23 times. 4/16
• Finish 3 lipglosses. 1/3
• Reach 40% of my eyeshadows panned. 30/62 : 48%
• Hit pan on 2 blushes. 1/2 = Have pan on 6 out of 9 blushes. 5/9 I now have pan on 5 and finished one, so 5/8.
• Recreate 40 looks that I have saved from Instagram, Pinterest or Youtube. 4/40
• Follow 12 tutorials that I have saved from Youtube. 4/12

Did you have any goals for may ? Did you do a no buy or RONB ?

Yay, new chapter is (finally) out! Only took a damn month. Why must May be so busy? At least I've managed to get chapter 9 mostly done as well, so that will be locked and loaded soon. Then I'm hoping to pick up the pace a bit.
Anyways, in this chapter both the snow wolves and Tostig plan their next moves, and the decisions made will affect the Ulstads.
As always, this story can be read up to the current chapter in both fanfiction and AO3 if you'd prefer those sites to reading all the text on reddit.
Fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14198757/8/Land-of-the-North-Wind
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45067345/chapters/119955676
Banishment
Tostig looked out at this city under siege. Part of him felt for his people, but at the same time they could not be allowed to bow to wolves. He would not bow to wolves and their demands. They were lesser, and they were rivals who were only useful for labor and trade in times of peace. And yet, the situation they were in now was not sustainable and everyone knew it. Just then, the door to his chamber was opened and his lead counselor, his right hand, stepped into the room.
“You wished to see me, my lord?”
Tostig took a sip from his wine chalice before turning away from his window and walking over to his desk with slow, deliberate steps. Upon locking eyes with his trusted advisor, the lord gave a small smile.
“Yes. I was hoping you’d have an inventory of our supplies ready to discuss.”
The counselor stepped forward, producing a stack of documents that had been written up by scribes. “Of course, my lord. Here are the inventory lists on the items you requested. Firewood, coal, wine, ale, spirits, bread, and meat are all right here.”
The counselor then placed the lists in his lord’s outstretched hands.
Tostig then got to the point of their meeting, “but all of these lists are to answer a single question. Do we have enough supplies to make it until spring?”
His counselor lowered his head and shook it slowly, “No sir. We’ll be out two months before the first ships can make safe harbor at the coast.”
Tostig sighed. “Then it’ll have to be done.”
“Are you sure, my Lord?”
“What choice do I have? We tried leaving, we tried getting necessary supplies, and even rations won’t carry us through the entire winter.”
“Those poor souls…”
“The keidran, overall, are tough beasts. And if you ask me, some of them played a hand in this whole mess, I just know it.”
“In what way could they be responsible, sir?” The counselor asked, confused.
“You really think every keidran in this town wants to be serving humans in some way or another? Their brethren are outside the walls, likely promising them a place of refuge for themselves and their slave relatives back east if they help the snow wolves kick us out.”
“That seems unlikely, my Lord.”
“Even if I’m wrong about their loyalties, the fact is keidran are more disposable than men. I can do without all these extra servants and menial laborers, but I’m going to need my miners and loggers when the snow clears, and the crown sends the best troops in Mekkan to our aid.”
“Your will is my command, sir. I’ll have Gerrick gather all his guardsmen in the great hall this evening. We’ll need every able-bodied member of the garrison.”
“Very good. Also, please send for the healer. These headaches… that medicine hasn’t been working.”
“Of course, my lord. Right away.”
The sun was setting on another day of the town under siege. The wolves had not made any moves to attack the walls, but why would they? They controlled the land and sea for hundreds of miles in every direction. A counsel of the elders was called in the camp overlooking the settlement. In the middle of the camp was a large, portable lodge made from thick timbers cut in the Snowy Pines. The frame was bound tightly by many hides, proving insulation and blocking the fierce winds that would often sweep across the tundra. Normally, settlements were permanent, but some wolves that had ventured into human territory took notes on how their rivals conducted war, and moveable houses were the answer to navigating across harsh country that was so brutal even the ever-adaptable humans had yet to conquer.
Outside the lodge entrance waited a tall, young snow wolf. Icy-white hair was bound tightly into a knot under a hat of seal fur. Extra layers of fur helped to protect the wolf from the elements, as even in winter the temperatures were colder than any canine could safely withstand. Blue eyes pierced through the growing darkness, a slight glow from his mana crystal necklace giving his face some soft illumination. He was waiting, watching for someone. Others came into the lodge one and two at a time. After a while, the young wolf was beginning to worry. “Where could he be?” The thought.
Just then a lone figure hobbled into view. A snow wolf much like him seemed to materialize out of the blowing snow that cut the visibility down significantly. Now only the glow of Callow could be seen in the distance. The old wolf, walking with a cane, finally found his way to the entrance.
“Grandfather, I was getting worried about you. You know I could help you up the hill, right?”
“Oh, don’t trouble yourself Bjorn. I might be almost as old as the wood holding that lodge together, but I can still find my way around camp. Now, let’s get inside, shall we?”
“Of course grandpa…” Bjorn then held the entrance to the lodge open so his frail kin could make his way inside where it was warm.
Following his grandfather inside, Bjorn was hit immediately with the warmth of a fire, fueled by wood brought in from the forest by sled, most of it cut down courtesy of the logging teams they had chased out a month earlier. The glow from his mana crystals was quickly overtaken by the bright, orange light of the fire. The young wolf removed most of his outer garments, placing them on the ground to use as a seat. He sat down behind where his grandfather had made himself comfortable. As an elder, the old wolf held one of the seats in the clans moot, the council of elders that had assembled to deal with the human problem.
All inside the lodge waited silently as their shaman conjured magical light structures from her crystal necklace in a ceremony to purify the air. The lights were dazzling. Bjorn’s favorite was seeing a replication of the night sky, a spell which was meticulously maintained through the generations showing each visible star as well as the moon. Another spell finished the ceremony, seemingly purging the air from the lodge, the fire reducing to embers, only to roar back to life as new, fresh air came in to fill the vacuum. It was then that the shaman gave a special blessing and prayer to each of the council members before taking her seat in the back as an observer. The five wolves then allowed for a silent pause to pass over all in attendance before beginning.
The designated leader of the council, tasked with mediating the clans moot, broke the silence, “my friends, our actions this winter may ensure the survival of our people and way of life, but one misstep and we will surely suffer greatly for our actions against the humans.”
A graying elder from the clan west of Widow Lake then saw fit to add in his thoughts. “Indeed, Bragi, but I believe our actions so far have been successful. The humans and their keidran servants have been completely cut off from their homeland and their king. No one will be able to help them until the snow leaves.”
Frey, the elder representing the clan at the split between the Widow and Pines rivers then spoke, “My warriors were successful in destroying any attempts by the humans to reach the sea. I’ve seen some of the bodies from their first attempt, and I believe that many of their most capable are dead. We ought to press an attack while we still have an advantage in the snow.”
Garth, Bjorn’s grandfather, and widely held to be one of the wisest elders in the North, urged caution. “It is true, Frey, that your warriors have slain many humans who could defend the walls, but many more are still inside. We’ve all seen the patrols along the top of the wall. Besides that, your warriors let one boat get away in the humans’ first attempt to summon help, didn’t they?”
Frey was forced to admit the mistake. “You are right, Garth, one did manage to slip away in the night. My warriors say they followed a light they thought was a lantern from the boat, but it was something else. It was alive, but they could not get a good look at it, and the light they followed led them into a sand bank. But a large storm hit shortly after. Surely, none survived.”
Garth had a different thought. “I would not so easily discredit these humans. Sure, they lack our fur, but they are adaptable creatures. I’ve seen with my own eyes the mines they’ve built. If they can bring the heart of Mekkan to the surface, their best may be able to survive winter.”
Bragi, always one to listen to a wolf with so much experience, wanted to know how this would affect their plans. “Garth, do you think the humans would bring reinforcements?”
“Assuming they survived, it could happen.”
Frey wasn’t as convinced. “Even if that one crew did manage to make it to the coast, it would still be months before the humans could bring an army to our shores. But that is all the more reason to find a way into the city.”
The last wolf in the council had been silent up until then. He was the youngest, though his offspring were still well into adulthood. He had earned a reputation as one of the best strategists among the snow wolves, having to regularly repel attempts by the forest wolves to gain more territory along the southern border. “An attack on the walls would be a failure. One does not kill a bear by fighting it on its terms. To kill a bear, one must outsmart it, and force the creature to fight in a way it is not used to.”
“So we should do nothing then?” Frey surmised, but the younger wolf shook his head.
“No, the wall is a bear. If we simply run up to it, our warriors will all die. But if we can find a weakness or fight the humans in a way they are not used to, then we will have the advantage.”
Garth then added is trademark advice of caution. “Though we must be patient, my friends. There will be an opportunity before spring arrives. As the weather gets colder and the snow gets deeper, our advantages will grow.”
Bragi then came to a possible plan of action. “I know Tostig. Once desperate enough, he will want an open battle where his trained guards can win, even in the snow. It would be too great of a risk to meet him in such a battle, but we could bait him to it.”
The wolf from Widow Lake then had an idea of his own. “My warriors could conduct raids on the humans’ stashes of firewood and supplies. There are some close enough to the walls that they can be reached. Once the humans start getting cold, they will be forced to either submit or do battle.”
Bragi nodded in agreement. “Do we have a plan then?”
All nodded and prepared to cast their vote when a shout from outside the lodge alerted the gathered snow wolves. A guard rushed in to deliver the news. The Shaman stood up upon this intrusion. “A clans moot is a sacred gathering, outsiders are not permitted unless invited. Child, why have you trespassed?”
The guard was gasping for air after running for a couple of miles to the main camp. “Apologies… humans… outside the wall.”
Perhaps the battle was coming after all? Bragi then stood. “Garth, have your grandson take your best warriors to trap these humans. This may be the beginning of the very battle Tostig would try to arrange.”
Garth then looked behind him at his nephew and nodded. “Go, Bjorn, I’ll find my way back. Be safe.”
Garth bowed his head slightly in respect of the others. “Thank you all for permitting me to the clans moot. I will track down and subdue these humans before they can cause trouble.”
With a wave of Bragi’s hand, Garth then exited the lodge with the guard and ran toward the main camp to find as many warriors as he could at a moment’s notice.
The Ulstads were preparing a dinner of rations in the empty tavern when a knock came from the front door. Anna Marie, who was closest, stopped sweeping to open the door. She was surprised by the evening visitor. “Sam, whatchya doin’ here at such an hour? We’re ya joinin’ fer dinner?”
Sam didn’t answer as he came into the foyer, but the look on his face told everyone that something was wrong. Liz stood up and quickly made her way to Sam, with Shadow and Asher close behind. Ivan leaned his head out from the kitchen. Liz took Sam’s hand in hers and looked him in the eyes. “Sam, what is it? News from Connor?”
Sam just shook his head. “I’m sorry Liz, I wish it was.”
Shadow then asked in a more direct voice. “Then what is it? You look pale.”
“It’s Tostig. He’s… well, he’s given the guard an order.”
“Come on, Sam, out with it?” Shadow said, worry seeping into her words. Sam took a deep breath to collect himself. They needed to know.
“Tostig has ordered every non-human in Callow… he’s banished them from the town.”
A thick, baritone voice boomed from the kitchen. “What?” A look of horror came across Asher’s face. Shadow too was shocked.
“Like Ivan said, ‘what?’” The leopard could hardly believe what she had heard.
“Liz, Miss Marie, you are both allowed to stay. But guards are going door to door right now and rounding up all the keidran. Shadow and Asher, you had better collect what you can before they arrive. I’ll escort you both personally so that neither of you have a hand laid on you.”
Anna wouldn’t have it. “They’s just as much people as us, Sam. Shadow, you and the boy should hide in the cellar. Ivan, get the darn hammer.”
“No Anna.” Shadow replied, letting it sink in. “We can’t just hide in the tavern all winter. Besides, what happens when you get caught?”
Sam had the unfortunate answer to that one. “Tostig has also ordered that anyone caught hiding keidran will be burned at the stake.”
That caused Anna and Liz to recoil at the thought of their own fate. It was more than enough for Shadow to make up her mind. “Come on Asher, we had better put on whatever clothes we can before— “just then, another knock came from the door, this one far more stern than before.
“Shit, they’re here already. I thought there’d be more time. Shadow, you can Asher meet Ivan in the back, I’ll get you three to the eastern gate.” Sam said before going to answer the door with Anna Marie. Asher didn’t quite understand all that was happening. He knew human well enough now, but things were progressing quickly for a seven-year-old. But Shadow quickly grabbed his hand and led them both into the room with Liz close behind. Once inside the room, Liz, locked the door to buy them at least a few more seconds.
Shadow, having been trained by assassins in the guild, wasn’t terribly concerned for herself. But being forced to leave Liz? She hoped that Anna Marie would keep the girl safe. Asher though was in trouble if they were being forced into the tundra. Her first thought then was to make sure the boy had as many warm clothes on as she could find.
“Here Asher, put this on, quickly.”
“I don’t want to leave, Shadow!”
“I don’t either, but we don’t have a choice. Sooner or later we’d be caught and thrown outside the walls anyway. Now bundle up as best you can be—”
Loud knocking came from the bedroom wall. “We know there are keidran in here! Open the door and come with us.”
Liz went up to the door to buy as much time as she could. “Just a minute!”
“Open it now woman!” Was the reply, but that was closely followed by Sam’s voice. “Hey, I’m highest rank here and I happen to know the two you’re after. Let me handle this and you two should continue down the stre—”
“Not a chance Sam, we’ve got orders from your father.”
“Then at least go get Ivan. Shadow and Asher aren’t going to put up a fight.”
Two more guards could be heard struggling to push the big wolf out into the street, and the intensity of the struggle caused the two guards standing near the room door to reconsider pushing their luck with someone who outranks them.
“Very well, they’ve got two minutes. If they aren’t out by then, we’re going to break the door down.”
Sam then moved to the side to let the two guards pass by.
Liz’s muffled voice came from behind the door “Are they gone?”
“Yeah, for the moment.”
A minute later, the door’s latch was undone, and it creaked open. Shadow and Asher had their wool jumpers on, along with whatever clothes they could find. Shadow was even wearing a pair of Connor’s pants. They were a bit tight but provided some extra insulation. Liz then followed the two, closing the door behind them.
“Why is this happening, Sam?” Liz asked.
“Apparently, we don’t have enough supplies to last the winter. So either everyone starves…”
“…Or the keidran freeze to death.” Shadow finished for Sam.
“Basically, yes. But you don’t have to freeze to death, there’s shelter that you can use, as well as food stores.”
“Where?” Shadow interrogated. Asher’s life as well as her own was on the line.”
“You’ll have to slip passed the wolves, but there are food stores and shelters in the new mining district across the river. It’s on the other side of Ditter’s Ridge.”
“Wolves?!” Shadow exclaimed. “How am I and the kid going to slip passed an army of wolves? They’d see us miles away!”
“I don’t know. I suggest hiding until the wind kicks up, the blowing snow will provide you with cover.”
The three stressed faces, Shadow’s looking like she was ready to murder, all stared at Sam.
“Look, this is a bad situation. I wish there was more I could do, but there isn’t. Tostig is Jarl, and his word is the law. If he says you must go, then you must go. If you try to stay, he could have us all executed.”
“Would your father allow that?”
“Tostig would execute my father too if that’s what it took to keep order in this town. I’m sorry, I really am, but—”
“But you’re doing whatever you can…” Liz grabbed and held Sam’s hand. “Is there a path or a tunnel or something that they can use to get around the wolves?”
“No, there isn’t. Look, you’ll have to move as quickly as you can. I’ll send help as soon as I’m able to, but right now this is your best chance of surviving.”
“Fine…” Shadow said, defeated and out of options. “Come on Asher, we had better go.”
The boy had other ideas “I don’t want to leave Liz! I want to wait here for Connor!”
“Connor…” Shadow thought. She tried to put it past her mind, but Liz knelt down in front of the boy.
“Asher, Connor isn’t coming back.” She said, tears forming in her eyes. “It’s been a month, and as much as I wish he’d bust into the tavern right now like he did with both of you back in the spring, it’s not going to happen. You need to leave with Shadow, she’ll keep you safe.”
“What about you?” Asher said, sniffling.
“I’ve got Anna Marie and Sam here to help. But you can’t stay here or Tostig would—”
“Kill us…” Asher said.
“I know we aren’t the closest, but Connor called you his brother, so I do too. Go, while you still can.” She then stood up. Before she could say anything else, Shadow embraced the girl.
“I’m sorry that I won’t be there to keep you safe.” Shadow said.
“It’s okay. But if you two stick together, we’ll all look back at this like a bad memory.”
“One of many bad memories.”
Sam knew time was up. “We better leave before those two assholes return. I’ll show you out a side entrance.”
Shadow and Liz let go of each other, and Shadow grabbed Asher’s hand before they both fled into the back alley behind Sam. The winding pathways between buildings eventually led them to a small door near the east gate. Shadow could see around the side of a building all the keidran being pushed out through the main gate. After looking around to make sure no one was watching, Sam produced a key, which began to glow as he recited an incantation. A hidden door nested into the wall glowed around the seal before opening, revealing a short tunnel to the outside.
“It’s one of the many emergency doorways out of the town. Only the guards have access, and most don’t know about them.”
Shadow, though impressed by the trickery, was hardly thrilled to be forced out of the walls. “If Connor ever comes back…”
“I hope he does, but for right now, you’re better off outside than inside.” Sam finished for Shadow, gesturing outside the wall.”
“Make sure nothing happens to Liz. Or I’ll find my way back,” Shadow lifted Sam off his feet and pinned him to the wall, “and burn this town to the ground with you in it.”
“I’ll protect her with my life if I must. You have my word. Now please, get out of here before someone sees me helping you.”
Shadow dropped Sam back to his feet, took Asher’s hand, and ducked through the hole in the wall. Once through, Sam closed the magic door with his key before slipping through an alley and joining the rest of the guards. Young ones were crying, old ones were being forcefully pushed, and at least one who tried to resist was savagely beaten. The guard was there to maintain order no matter the cost. After several minutes and much effort, the last keidran was shoved past the threshold. As the iron gate lowered from the ceiling, a couple of keidran made an attempt to get back into the town. But just as they were about to get through the inner gate, out of the crowd came several guards with crossbows. Without hesitation, their lieutenant gave the order to fire. In front of both humans and keidran, all those who tried to get through were cut down and left to die in the zwinger between the two gates. Their intentions made clear, the remaining keidran quickly fled from the walls just as guards took their positions along the walkway at the top.
Shadow couldn’t see what happened, but she could certainly hear it. Keeping Asher close, she used her skills at stealth to skirt along the bottom of the wall undetected. Asher at one point tried to say something but she quickly hushed him before continuing. Finding and avenue out in a blind spot from the guards, Shadow quickly moved past the ground torches could illuminate, finding safety in the darkness. Luckily, it was a clear night and Shadow could easily make out where the keidran had stopped. They looked to be in the process of scattering as keidran tended to do. They weren’t a clan or a tribe, instead they were in groups of individuals who knew each other. Shadow a year ago would have left them all to their fate, content to find the shelter she was informed of and waiting until spring. But now… now she could see scared children, elderly who wouldn’t make it two days in the winter snow, and many who were scared and confused, all in need of help.
“What are we going to do?” Asher asked, clutching onto her leg and looking up to her for guidance. He too was quite scared.
Shadow sighed, collecting herself. “We’re going to help them, Asher, and we’re going to survive.”
Just as the keidran were about to venture off in every direction imaginable, Shadow climbed up onto a rock and, illuminated by the moon, called for everyone’s attention. No one really seemed to care, at least until a loud, baritone voice cut through the air. Shadow looked to her side only to find a beaten and bloody Ivan standing near the rock, apparently having seen the pair in the cold. At once, everyone looked back toward the three figures next to and on top of the large glacial boulder.
“Good. Now everyone listen up! I’ve been told that there are stores of food and supplies as well as shelter across the river to the East. If we move now, we can be there by dawn, but we have to stick together, or we’ll all die.”
While some seemed ready to go, others weren’t sure. Arguing began between different individuals. Some wanted to make for the Snowy Pines, mostly the wolves. A few wanted to try and get over the mountain pass and into warmer country. Still others were talking about forcing their way back into Callow. None were, realistically, good options. But before consensus could be reached, or a complete breakdown in the large group of at least four hundred keidran, snow wolves approached from all sides, weapons at the ready. Out from the darkness emerged a big wolf, nearly as big as Ivan, wearing polar bear fur and brandishing a long spear.
Keidran tried to run but were quickly cut off. The group of exiles was completely encircled by several hundred strong warriors from the different clans. Bjorn then noticed something odd in the moonlight. Between all the people that they captured, only a handful had anything more than a knife. Certainly no weapons of war, and plenty were half-naked and freezing.
“Where are your weapons?”
“What do you mean?” A tigress asked. “We have none.”
“Then what is this? Are you all trying to run away or something? You’ll freeze out here.” Bjorn bellowed. A young child then pushed his way to the front. It was Asher, the only basitin in the group. “W-we were kicked out, sir.”
“Kicked out?”
Ivan and Shadow came out from the crowd, quickly finding Asher. Shadow grabbed the boy and held onto him tight in case things went south. Ivan tried to reason with Bjorn, who was a bit intimidated by the wolf that was bigger than even him.
“Da. Jarl Tostig pushed us into the snow.”
“Explain.” Bjorn said, spear tip not lowering even slightly.
“What the big guy is trying to say is that Tostig found out there wasn’t enough supplies for everyone to last the winter, so he decided to get rid of every keidran in Callow. We’re exiles.”
This shocked Bjorn. He didn’t think anyone, not even a human, would do something so cutthroat. “Well, if you were hoping for our help, I’m sorry. But we don’t have supplies for everyone here. I can talk to my grandfather and perhaps the council will—”
“There are supplies across the river, if you’d let us go to Ditter’s Ridge we’ll stay out of the way of your siege. We certainly aren’t going to help Tostig after this.
“The big hill near Widow Lake? I thought that was just a bunch of mines.”
“It is, but apparently there are stores of supplies and shelter there.”
Ditter’s Ridge was still technically snow wolf lands, and the recent mining activity was part of why this whole situation was happening now. But these weren’t humans, clearly weren’t loyal to Tostig, and had no means to defending themselves anyway. After taking in the sight, he knew that they were speaking the truth, and that many wouldn’t make it more than a few days even in thick winter fur.
“Alright. We have no quarrel with you. I and a few others will lead you across the river. There’s a ford at Ridge Gate that’s shallow enough you all can cross without getting wet above the knees. We had better hurry though; another storm is coming.”
Shadow then walked up to Bjorn, noting that she was barely taller than his shoulder. “Thank you.” She said gratefully, extending a hand.
Bjorn looked down and felt his heart skip a beat. In a land of ice and snow, before him was a black-furred leopard, a keidran he had never seen before. He immediately reached out to shake her hand. “I am happy to help. Now, we had better get a move on.”
“Lead the way...” Shadow gestured as she grabbed Asher once again and made sure he walked closely beside her through the snow.
It was tough walking through the drifts. At one point, Shadow broke through a layer of hard snow into soft powder below. She sank up to her chest and was struggling to get out when a pair of snow shoes appeared in front of her. Looking up, she saw Bjorn extending his hand. In one swift motion, he lifted the leopard clean out of the snow and onto his snow shoes.
“Thank you.” Shadow said, stunned at how easy it was for the wolf.
“It was nothing.” He said, smile on his face.
In the early hours of dawn, the group of keidran spotted the Ridge Gate, a pair of towering bluffs the river cut through in order to make it to the sea. Soon, Shadow and Asher were some of the first to reach the shore of the river. Shadow picked up Asher and held him as she tried to cross, but the icy water stung on her skin. Bjorn then offered his help once again.
“Please, allow me.” He said as he picked Asher up and placed the boy on his shoulders. Before Shadow could continue into the river, he picked her up as well and held her under her back and knees.
“Oh... my…” Shadow said, looking up at Bjorn. “You really don’t have to.”
“I assume you aren’t from around these parts, considering the black fur.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Well, the river water is cold enough that you really don’t want to get wet if you can help it. So hold on tight, I’ll walk you across.”
It took a few minutes, but Shadow and Asher found themselves on dry ground. Without a word, Bjorn turned around and waded across the river again. It felt… odd… to be carried like that. But apparently the snow wolves were doing this for many of the keidran, especially the children. It took close to a half an hour before everyone was across, but by then it was a simple matter of climbing the ridge. At the top, Shadow and Asher felt the first rays of sun peaking above the horizon. It would fill the valley below for only a couple of hours before setting again.
“We’re getting close to the equinox.” Bjorn explained. “The sun will only break the horizon for an hour then, and it will get really cold.”
“Thank you again.” Shadow replied. “But I didn’t catch your name.”
“It’s Bjorn, ma’am.”
“Well, thank you Bjorn. I am Shadow and this here is Asher.”
“Glad to know you, Shadow. Now, where are these supplies you were talking about?”
“I’m guessing they are down there.” Shadow said as she pointed at what looked to be an abandoned mining camp. Once at the bottom of the ridge, the state of the camp was sad. Tents were blown down by the wind, a couple of the makeshift shacks were caved in from the heavy snow. But one large structure was locked up tight. Busting in the door with a log for a battering ram, the keidran found the first of many supplies. While the food was mostly for humans, and thus was a lot of flour and coffee, there was plenty of dried and salted meats. It wouldn’t be much, but with some careful rationing they’d all be able to make it through the winter.

This is my first ever post, forgive me for the long ass essay lmao
Early Childhood
Ok, how do I begin lol. This is going to be my entire life written down. I've never done this before so you're the first.
I don't know why, but for as long as I've remembered, I've never been truly happy. The only time i had some form of real happiness was kindergarten and earlier. When life was simple. Living life with no worries, just you and mom making snowmen in my grandparents backyards, having the time of my life. No matter how much time passes or where I'm or what I'm doing, I've always had this negative energy. It layed at the back of my mind up until middle school. Up until that point, it had slowly been creeping up from my subconscious to my conscious mind. I don't have many memories of that time and nothing notable happend.
Elementary School
I remember when i was young, I used to hit myself when i got stressed or upset. I stopped doing that a while ago though. Notable things that happend during elementary school is when I accidently killed my dog in second grade. I was walking around in the kitchen, when my teo week old puppy started chewing on my sock. We got him by my mom's coworkers dog having puppies. His name was Brody. We named him that because my mom almost named me Brody until my grandmother said it was a bad name. Anyways, I was walking with this dog chewing on my foot, and I didn't do anything about it. To this day, I still don't know why I didn't do anything, but I tripped backwards, stepped on him, broke his ribs and he bled to death infront of my eyes. I still have the vivid image in my mind, his beautiful little brown body in a pool of growing blood, shaking violently, desperately trying to move. I don't know how long I cried for, only looking at grandma through teary eyes. It affected me for a long time, gave me a fear of small animals because I was afraid that I would hurt another one. I'm over it now.
Another thing that happend was one time my mom left me by myself in Walmart. She came back after a few minutes but i was crying wondering where she was. Turns out she was in the bathroom lol.
I also remember going through a lot of babysitters when I was a kid. Most notably would be my uncle. He wasn't actually my uncle, just my dad's good friend. Anyways, he had bipolar, and did not take medication. Naturally, we would get into screaming matches with each other. It's funny, a ten year old screaming and cussing at a grown man lmao.
Mid way through third grade, I moved to another state when I was eight years old. Another thing that happend was when I was ten and learned that my dad isn't my biological father. I think that I started to very slowly drift away from my dad after that. I still love him and always will, it's just that it's getting harder to see him as my dad and not a regular person. That sounds fucking horrible doesn't it.
In fifth grade, my mom and dad decided to invite one of their Coworkers who was seventeen years younger than my dad ivy their relationship. That lasted for a few months, up until my dad divorced my mom, staying with the second girl. My mom was always skinny, but she lost a lot of weight during that time.
Now that I think of it, I can't remember a single memory of my mom smiling during that time. On top of that, but she had to singlehandedly raise three spoiled kids on her own. Whenever I think about that time, I remember how I never even asked how she was doing, how her day was, or anything really. It makes me feel like a total piece of shit. My mom did so much for us, even when she was struggling 1000x worse than us. I have always tried to be kind to people around me, neglecting my own needs to put others first, and yet I didn't do that to the people who loved me the most. I think I blocked most of my memories out because mom and dad fought a lot. I can't remember, but my little brother sure does. I only learned this recently, but when they would fight, my dad would call my mom names and insult her. I think my perception of dad changed after that.
Middle School
Anyways, I have a tough time in middle school. It was way harder than elementary, and the work load was too much for me. I think that's when I started procrastinating. All the work was stressing me out, so I just waited and waited, forgetting about the work. Then I would have a mountain of missing work, which only added onto my stress.
All this combined with the fact that I used to be incredibly sensitive, the stress and anxiety from school, and everything else going on was like the perfect gateway for all the negative energy I've been storing up to be let free on my conscious mind. It went as well as you could imagine. I would cry all the time. Multiple times a day. I felt every negative emotion you could possibly imagine. I had no one to really go to, so I went to my mother. Looking back on it, I know why she didn't do much. She was in a dark place herself, working her hardest to put food on the table. She just couldn't be there for me all the time. I also told my dad about how I'm feeling, but he said I was just stressed. He always had a hard time understanding mental health. The pandemic didn't affect my mental health. In fact, I think it made it better for a time. But good things must ask come to an end.
These awful feelings only got worse over time. They got better during the summer, most likely because of no school. Now we move onto 8th grade. Worst. Year. Ever. I'll skim over most of the details. But all my feelings were amplified ten fold. I was suicidal for a long time, almost went through it a few times. I had panick attacks daily. Every time I looked at an assignment, I started hyperventilating By the end of the year, I had 85 missing assignments, and awful depression. When it came time for new years, I resolved to stop crying. Over time, I've stopped feeling. I'm kind of emotionally numb.
Now
That's brings me to now. It's now hard to cry, I can only make myself misty eyed every once in a while. Things I would normally freak out, cry, and have a panick attack over, are now just meh. I've come to realize that I don't want to die, I just don't want to exist anymore. It's hard to describe, but I just desire not to exist anymore.
Throughout my life, I've tried to put others before myself. Recently though, it's been hard to do. I feel like I'm turning more into an asshole as time goes on. I wish I could be kinder, but it's so hard. Even talking to people for more than a few minutes can be exhausting. It's hard to be all optimistic, caring, and supporting to people. I wish I could be there for everybody all the time. I wish I could find the right words to say. I wish I had the energy to pick up the phone and talk. I just can't seem to find any of that anymore.
I've also come to one more realization. I always used to think that I lacked any romantic attraction to anybody, but I don't think that's the case. I just don't allow myself to love anybody romantically. When my brain starts thinking of somebody romantically or sexually, it thinks it's bad to see people, especially friends that way, so it just buries those feelings deep down so I won't ever feel them. Nothing else. I don't know how you're supposed to fix that, but I can live with it. I've lived with it for over fifteen years so far, I think I can live the rest of my life like this. That was until the one person I've ever liked confessed their feelings to me. I was so damn happy, but then a few days later they said they weren't ready for a relationship, which is completely understandable, but it broke me. I get so nervous everytime I see them, and I can't seem to suppress these feelings. It's awful.
As you can probably see by now, me and my emotions don't have the best relationship. I've always hated my emotions as they only bring me nothing but pain. It's always been hard to talk about them too, because I feel what people might think of me when I express them. I am very vulnerable to negative comments and criticism, which makes expressing myself very difficult. I make my own opinions based on others, my personality is made from others, and I conform to any and all standards. I also get really attached to people. I've lost friends in the past, they all kind of drifted away and we stopped talking. I always take that really hard, and I always doubt my self worth. It took me a year to stop feeling awful for friend in particular. We were one super close, I would talk to them everyday for hours, but over time we talked less and less until eventually we stopped interacting at all. Even if there is just a few days where I don't talk with a friend, I end up sad.
I might just be broken. I've lived a wonderful life, and have amazing people in my life, I just can't ever be happy. I just don't have the energy anymore. I barely have the energy to live. I'm just a lonely, lazy, miserable asshole. That's all I am. I'm afraid to tell anybody this, I couldn't say why. I've dug this hole so deep, that I can only see darkness ahead in any and all directions. The only way I can go is down, until I hot rock bottom. Until I have no reason to do anything anymore. Until everything becomes numb. Then fall off the face of the planet, to be forgotten like so many before me have. Like billions have throughout this world history. I fucking hate my life. I hate myself. I hate this awful, disgusting world we live in. And there's no way out. And most of all, I hate that I feel this way. I should be happy, willing to to people how I feel, not afraid to tell others and seek help if I must. I should be able to get good grades, to make my parents proud, to be an amazing big brother. But I can't and I don't know why. Or maybe I can, but there's part of me that is just so rotten that I can't even care for anything. People have had it far, far worse than me, worse than I could even imagine and they're fine. So why not me? Why am I like this? Why am I so fucking miserable? Maybe I've done this to myself, I honestly don't know.
Me Overthinking Shit
One of the only things that makes me have strong, negative emotions is the feeling that something is missing. It's incredibly hard to describe, but I'll do my best. Sometimes, on those cloudy days, sitting by the window, and have nothing to do, I get a feeling that something is missing, but I don't know what. Whatever it is, it's something not really physical, past any object. It feels like something greater, something so simple, so important, yet I cannot think of what it is, and it's always it of my grasp. When that feeling comes over me, that something is missing, all I want to do is die. All I want to know is what is missing, but the way things are going, I just know I'll never find it. I hate that. I hate that so much. I have that feeling for up to a day, and it's kind of a haze. It's like all the colors on the world are dull.
It's like I'm not really living, just existing, like the grains of sand on the beach, the snowy mountains across the horizon, like the moon that orbits the earth, as the millions of stars, planets, and other celestial bodies that orbit around the milky way galaxy, with a magnificent supermassive at its center, constantly devouring material, as all the galaxies move around endlessly in the vastness of space. I'm not there, in the moment, I'm just existing, along with the rest of everything that has, is, and ever will be. Just an insignificant organism, drifting along our tiny blue home that we call earth.
Everyone that I've ever known, that you've ever known, that anybody has ever known, every living thing, every hope, every dream, every fight, every birth, every death, every word ever spoken, every plea of desperation, every good act ever done, every sin ever committed, every feeling ever felt, every story ever told, every good person, every bad person, every king, every violent dictator, every oppressive ruler has all occurred right here, on this world, hurtling through space, with no destination, until the sun expends, engulfing the inner planets of our dollar system and shrinks again, until the earth falls out of orbit, left to freeze in the vacuum of space, left to have no home ever again, until the expansion of the universe reaches a critical level, and everything gets ripped apart down to the subatomic level, and only black holes remain, only to evaporate into the sheer nothingness. Now I'm here to ponder, does anything truly matter?
When you boil everything down, no, nothing really matters. So what do I do? What am I supposed to do? Live a nice comfortable life knowing everything is meaningless and that is the beauty of everything? Should I do whatever the hell I want, knowing that no matter what actions I take, it will never truly matter in the long run? That we all face the same destination no matter what? Should I give up on this miserable existence? I always thought that there was no objective meaning to life, that you made your own meaning to it, but I can't seem to find mine. I just wish I knew my purpose.
When I think about past me, the me when I was young, the me that was truly living, the me full of energy, the me who was curious about everything and wanted to absorb knowledge like it was my last meal on earth, I almost feel bad for him. How he turned out. The shitty person he is now. But I can't feel bad for him, because that means I would feel bad for me.
If you're reading this, then I'm sorry. That I sent this to you. The last thing you need is to hear other peoples problems. This is the story of my life so far, hopefully things get better, for me, and everybody reading this, and thank you for reading,
With all my love, LazyGuy :)

Chapter 29

Chapter 30 Daniel vs Elohim/Cain son of the Demiurge

Cain began to form. His body blobbing as if something inside of him is moving like a cocoon. He fell face down to the marble ground, making a blood disgusting crunch on impact. Daniel stepped back as he witness Cain's body hatching like a deformed cocoon. The insides of his body shakes and moves all over, making a mixing sounds of flesh and bone. With one step back from Daniel, a snapping sound can be heard inside the body. Strong pale fingers cuts through the cocoon. Tearing off the coat to reveal a strong pale hand emerging from within. Dark blood, bones, and flesh spread on the marble floor.
A large growing creature rises from the cocoon of Cain. The creature is humanoid in shape and by far bulkier and muscular in size. Its skin is the color of burning flesh. Strong and brutal hands with rock like knuckles. Its legs are of a deer and the hooves looked to be stones of ancient hells. The head is by far one of the most resembled because its head is of a bear with antlers as its ears. Its eyes full of treacherous hatred as they stare into Daniel's eyes. Its teeth of darkness menacingly hungers for blood and death. The heart that which Jennifer saw in the beginning became visible before his eyes. Veins are pulsing around the heart, flowing with blood of a dark eldritch god.
This is it. This is the true and powerful form of the real Cain. Born from the demiurge, the beginning of ignorance and king of all gods. The never to be heir'd prince of all gods in existence. The blood of the jealous king. Cain, brother of Abel, returned to conquer all that exists and all that dares stand in his way. He is the darkness at the edges of universes.
Daniel. A man of metal and steel. His heart filled with hope and faith. Born from the man who was a world taker single handedly but then lives freely as a free man and a father. He is a man of hope and he rises to greater strength to raise others hope and defeat the evil that stands in their way of light. He is the lantern of hope in the darkest times.
Daniel rushes forward with a jab, but the target moved away super fast. Cain spun around with his claw raised and he caught Daniel in the chest. He then pushed him far away, making him soar in the speed like the falling star. There was no mountain nor anything, so his body kept soaring before he was hit in the head by Cain's powerful blow. Daniel's body roles down from the powerful impact that he struggles to stop rolling. Cain kicked him upwards and by the time Daniel's body was up to 15 feet, Cain threw his own chains at him. The chains wrapped fast tight on Daniel and Cain pulls down with instant strength. Daniel's body crushes to the marble ground but did not make a crush. The marble floor not broken nor impacted by the blow.
The cracking of Daniel's body is heard and he groans from the pain. Cain's teeth drools with hunger for such a brutal fight as he pulls Daniel's body forward with the chains in hand. Daniel's still strong and he tries to break free from the blood curdling chains. Cain threw him up in the air but as soon as Daniel was, he finally broke free from the chains and landed on the ground with the slam of his feet. That made impact, which Cain recoils a bit backwards.
Cain threw the chains at him. But Daniel learned his lesson. He caught the chains and wrapped his hands around it. He then pulls it with his strength, forcing Cain to be pulled towards him. By the time Cain is inches in front of him, he uppercuts his right fist with the chains wrapped around it. Cain's body soars into the sky. Then was pulled downwards by Daniel's force on the chains.
Daniel was about to swing his axe but he was hit in the head by Cain's soaring fist. His head impacted against the marbled floor. A flash of discomfort of dizziness explodes in his head. Trying so desperately get out of the dizzy state, he was unable to get up until Cain grabs his arm and threw him into the exosphere. The planet is the size of a thousand Jupiters and the atmosphere is 200,000 km above.
When he enters the exosphere, his dizziness stopped and he gained back his mind and conscious. It was too late for him to go back down because Cain caught him in the neck already in a fast pace. The soared through every planet and every galaxy conquered by Cain's power hungry hand. They're able to sustain and endure such high speed that should've been impossible. "This is all the galaxies I've conquered Daniel!! All together like a family of my own!!" He laughs demonically with a bears roar. His breath so foul that Daniel turned his head away from him.
Daniel kept punching at Cain's face. But as they arrived in a new world, Cain threw him down to the ground of the planet. Daniel's body crushing through the planet and the planet exploded. The planet's explosion grew into a massive size of a sphere shape that it destroys the 12 planets near it.
As the light of the explosion fades, Daniel regained his balance in space. He watches the discarded shards of the planets float in random directions. If this is the galaxy Cain conquered, are there innocent people living within these homes? There aren't any bodies nor anything alive around him nor resides near the planets shards.
He returned his focus on Cain and saw he was going to throw the gigantic shard of a planet right at him. When he threw the shard, it soars with such fast speed. The shard hits directly at Daniel. Daniel was stuck from the shards impact. He tries to move his arms and successfully places his hands on the gigantic shard. His feet burst blue flames as he pushes against the shard. The shard's forced weight was too hard for him to push but his hopes never stopped and kept growing as he pushes.
Cain watches the shard slowly turning to a stop. He waited for something to happen, until he was suddenly hit by the shard he threw. It was super fast that the shard broke into pieces right as they impacted Cain.
Daniel, now in front of Cain, punched him in the face massively hard that Cain soars downward, traveling through hundreds of galaxies. He finally lands to a planet that is something he never expected in the first place. The marbled floor all full of steel. The sky grey as ever but there are faces watching over him. Their faces are expressionless as they are the watchers of this world. Instead of emptiness, there are statues of the ancients and unknown gods never heard of before. Pillars scattered his surroundings, collapsed by some fall from something big.
Cain have forgotten this world even existed and became much excited. His muscles have intense from the excitement of this fight. The kind of fight he never could have enjoyed for many long years. This is unlike anything else he could've ever imagined. He began to laugh with the pleasure of the battle. So much opportunities for him to do here.
Daniel instantly arrived at the planet to find Cain gone. He looked around to see where did he go. He saw the faces in the sky watching him from above. They don't seem to be harmful. Only to watch. He saw another face facing at the opposite direction. He followed where it's looking at and saw Cain with a pillar on his shoulder.
Cain swings the longest and largest pillar directly to his target. The pillar impacted against Daniel's body with heavy precision that he was forcedly flew from it. He rolled by the time he landed on the ground. He got back up to see Cain was in the air, who was about to slam the pillar downward. He pushes himself away to which he avoided the heavy blow of the pillar. The pillar broke into pieces and Cain was looking at him with furious eyes of evil. The eyes never left its dark side.
They started to brawl with their fists. Exchanging blow after blow, some failed to strike, while others made impact with bruising fists. Cain then turns around and kicks Daniel with his hooves, making him soar off into the collapsed pillars from afar.
His body crushed through many rows of pillars, scattering broken pieces of them everywhere. His back slammed into a pillar that cracks behind him instead of breaking, due to the force of the impacts of the pillars he broke through. He stood on his knees, catching a bit of his breath, whilst Cain approaches him, walking with menacing intentions. "You still don't get it do you, Daniel? That 'goal' you are so hopeful to accomplish is nothing but lies! Everyone dies, what's the big deal! You're hoping to save everyone, to save all life but you don't even realize that we need people like me! I'm the one that can make a difference and you're in my way. But if you could just join me, we'll make the world a better place just like the apocaly-"
His sentence was interrupted by the incoming pillar. He swiped it off with the swing of his arms with ease, whilst he looks at Daniel in the eye. "You think that's going to work on me? Try harder!" An axe sparked from Daniel's hand and he jumps forward, ready to swing. He knew that approaching him with a swing of his axe would mean too late. His shield sparks on his forearm just in time before Cain's aggressive fist strikes.
Daniel deflected his strike and swung his axe at Cain's left side of his abdomen in a direct hit. He held the handle with both hands and pushed him back in about 3 feet away while Cain tries to get balance. He kicked Cain in the abdomen, pulling out his axe and ready to strike again. Cain tries to catch him but Daniel ducks down, moving away. Cain then got struck in the back by the sharp edges of Daniel's axe.
Daniel jumped up and kicked him with both feet, impacting Cain's back with a brutal bone crack. Breaking his spinal cords. Cain did not fall so easily. He turns around with the look of mockery and evil. His teeth gnarled with pleasure, enjoying the pain he gets. "You know. We're not that much different, you and I."
Daniel became so exhausted and injured that he could only say one word at that moment. He was getting weak but slowly healing. The healing was, for some reason, slowed down twice than it normally does. "Why?"
The chuckles coming from Cain's voice is enough to make Daniel annoyed. "You and I took so much pain. And yet, our bodies heal from our broken, burnt, infected, and bruised body. We heal so rapidly that it's making us invulnerable to everything else. We are on this to make a better world! A better place!! And here we are!! Fighting for WHO IS THE STRONGEST TO GET OUT ALIVE!!"
He raised his arms in praise of his own plan and efforts. looking up into the sky, to watch the galaxies before him shine above him as his crown of his own justice. Daniel was not surprised. He knew what he wanted. He knew what he was doing to the world and other galaxies. Cain's ideals and principles are the means of becoming a tyrant of a new world of his own image. That makes Daniel sick.
"I'm not like you."
Cain looked at Daniel with a baffled expression. The sound of stretching The words he spoke caught his attention. "What?"
"I did all this, not for making a better world. I did all of this to save everything that holds dear to life. The people, nature, homes, all of them. I don't want to control people nor become some sick king to them. I want to give people the hope and faith. And we're not the same. Because all you do is make your own sick fantasy come to life."
Cain's face turned into madness, as way a bear gets turned into a mutated creature. His teeth drools with hatred and so is his eyes. The antlers glowed with the flames of blood as the malice grew in his chest. He slams his palm against his chest while looking at Daniel dead in the eye. "You are a fool!" He started to groan as he grabs the handle growing out of his chest. He pulled the handle with his strength. The more he kept pulling, the more pain he feels all over his body.
Finally, he pulled the staff from his chest with pleasure coursing through his heart. The staff is made of ancient hellish stones with the blood of his enemies and victims coursing through the cracks around it. He began to laugh with such menacing energy. He raised the staff up high. Two large blades emerges from the 2 sides of the staff, which is actually an axe. The blade is sharp, flowing with blood and hatred. The distorted face of his victims slides up on the blade like a reverse waterfall, until it disappears into the top of the axe.
He raised his axe high with both hands and jumped forward to strike Daniel. Daniel jumped up, avoiding the axe. He stomps on Cain's bear head and jumps off of it. By the time he lands on the ground, he turned around and deflected the blow of the axe. Screams can be heard when the impact was made, which makes Daniel spooked.
Cain raised his axe as he gains strength to chop Daniel down. Daniel was slow and he knew he won't strike in time. So he jumped away from the blow, but was then grabbed in the head. Cain punched him in the abdomen, making him soar far behind. Daniel's back hits against the pillar wall, making cracks all over it but still not break. He found himself next to a big stone of the pillar. He struck his axe into the stone, making it stick into the cracks. Then spun around and threw his axe with the stone attached, directly at Cain. He was both struck by the stone and the axe. The stone breaks from impact and the axe cuts into his chest.
He rips it off of him and threw it away. The axe flew back to Daniel's hand with the sound of echoing metal. They raised their axes and threw them at each other. The 2 axes clashed together, making a loud clang of metal with the painful screams of the unholy blade. The axes stays attached from the impact. "Why are you not releasing your anger!? Release it!! Show me the monster from your temple!!"
They rushed at each other. By the time they are 10 feet away from each other, the axes returned to their hands. They struck their blades of the axe at each other, at the same time with such powerful and intense power. The sound of ringing and metal hitting against each other is so loud that the sound of them reaches through hundreds of galaxies under a second. Daniel's axe broke into pieces and they all fell to disintegration. Daniel knelt down in pain as the sound was too loud for him to bear. Even for Cain as well that his antlers are vibrating by the powerful doppler effect.
Cain roars in the painful fury with the screams of the victims. Daniel went forward for a hit but was too slow that he got slammed in the torso by Cain's powerful swing of his forearm. Daniel's body broke through every pillar and escaped into the hugest space. He slides to the marbled floor, then regained his stance. But it was too late as Cain grabbed his neck with his bear right hand. Daniel tried to lift his hands up but the force of power holds him in place. Cain is using his power of telekinesis to hold him as he struggles to get free.
"Well. Looks like your hopes have lost. Look around you and tell me. Did anything change? Was it worth your hopes on this pathetic goal of yours? 'To save everything that holds dear to life. The people, nature, homes.' 'To give people the hope and faith.' Was it really that much big of a deal?" He scoffs, then laughs mockingly at Daniel's fading face. Slowly, the tears appeared beneath Daniel's eyes as Cain lives on, and he dies. He can't say a word. The grip of Cain's hand was too tight for him to speak. His vision beginning to fade as the world turns into hell. His friends are going to die hopeless. They're helpless without each other and once they've finally died, Cain will have their souls for eternity. Same goes Daniel. And all of life itself. The shame and pain in his chest grew as the guilt infects his mind and soul. There is no hope anymore. James, Steven, Jennifer. I'm so sorry.
"Well. Nice kno-"
Then suddenly, time has stopped. A bright light flashes in front of Daniel's eyes. The tight grip around his neck is gone and the force with it.
Chapter 31

Part Two: Costco History Remembered
The Costco you know today is light years different from it’s early days when it comes to merchandising. The first Costco was VERY much a warehouse with low light, lots of walls in strange places, and a lot of product jammed into every available spot. Most manufacturers believed that Costco was just a low quality discounter selling “seconds” (products that weren’t first quality), and so they didn’t want to sell to Costco because they felt it would diminish their brand, or it would violate their exclusivity agreements with other retailers.
To combat this, the founders of Costco made sure there was a huge sign behind the membership desk proclaiming the 100% return guarantee on products sold. It sent a clear message that Costco was not a junk dealer, and that did help a few vendors to agree to sell to Costco. Those first brave companies were rewarded with tremendous loyalty in their relationship with Costco, and the bond stayed strong despite the otherwise fickle world of wholesale/ retail.
So, what was selling, and what eventually went away?
1) several categories were much more prominent in the early days. Automotive aisles had engine hoists, ramps, air tools, jack stands, and more. The tool aisles were loaded with inexpensive tools made by Allied, and it was very similar to Harbor Freight. There were multiple aisles year round of what is often called knock-down furniture. O’Sullivan was the brand name, and the member had to assemble it like an IKEA product. The boxes were enormously heavy, but Costco sold a gazillion bookcases that way. As Costco grew, the realization that it had to focus on reaching higher levels of quality caused it to switch to better furniture brought in seasonally, and as fewer people were working on their cars, the sales diminished on those items to a level requiring the auto aisles to be greatly reduced to mostly oil and windshield wipers.
Tools were another issue. Home Depot, Lowe’s, and some local places like Eagle ( that later got bought by Lowe’s) all monopolized the big brands like Dewalt, and those tool companies believed that if they sold to Costco, their relationship with the hardware stores would suffer significantly. To this day, Costco still struggles to find quality tools to sell.
2) some categories were HOT! Cameras and film were tremendous sellers. Costco usually has 10+ SKUs of cameras, and had a whole pallet island of film. Kodak film, Fuji Film, and Polaroid film was in almost every member’s cart. Unfortunately, Polaroid film was also in the top ten of stolen items! Organized groups would swoop in, fill bags/ pockets with it, then dash out the door. Undercover employees could usually be found staking out that section. All this went away when phones started taking the place of cameras.
3) office supplies had multiple aisles of product. Copy paper sold out quickly (even today, Costco keeps it’s wholesale title by selling truckloads of it to school districts, etc.). Computer paper was a must have—-remember the stuff that had little holes on each side so a gear could pull it through a printer? “Green bar” paper sold like crazy. Office chairs had 6 or more styles, and members would race each other down the aisles in them if they weren’t cabled to the steel. The rise of what came to be known as Category Killers lead to the office department’s reduction to just an aisle. Office Depot, Office Max, etc all could match or undercut Costco on the best sellers by selling all the other items that they carried at a higher mark-up to offset the loss leader.
4) I always felt bad for the bread and potato chip vendors. In the early days, they would be in the aisles for hours before opening because they had to take two retail size packages and use tape guns to create a two-pack of everything. Their companies in the early days refused to believe that customers would be crazy enough to buy huge bags of chips or super long loaves of bread, so for several years they made their route drivers lives miserable. Today, when I see what a supermarket calls “ family size” for a bag of chips, I can only laugh—it looks like an individual serving size compared to Costco! Also, the route drivers LOVE Costco, because it’s typically just one stop and they’re done until they have to come back and restock/ face the product later in the afternoon
5)So very much of Costco in the early days was focused on the commercial size products. Many of the canned food items came only in #10 cans ( the big ones that are almost the size of a bowling ball). There was no option for a smaller can. Eventually, as the membership grew to be dominated by retail shoppers, Costco started the separate Business Center division, and those allowed Costco to have the space for things like 6 packs of small cans instead.
6) Bonus memory! Clothing in the early days was often described as dowdy, old lady clothing that no one would want except at Halloween. Certainly it wasn’t THAT bad, but almost no clothing vendors would sell to Costco directly, so most was bought from middle men selling what no one else wanted. Worse, Costco had huge, ugly clothing racks made from 2x4s and pipe to display the clothes, so it was all displayed like you’d see in your closet. Shoulder view only! Costco put the clothes on a table eventually, and the sales skyrocketed. With the shear volume of people picking through them, it is very, very labor intensive to keep the tables looking clean, neat, and straight, but it’s worth it. The vendors soon saw the incredible sales Costco was doing, and now most sell direct. A few (Harley Davidson apparel for example) are still hold-outs.
Kinda long post, but I hope you enjoyed it enough for me to do more.

I have a 2018 Nissan Versa sedan. My brake lights were working fine. I got pulled over by a Louisiana State Trooper yesterday and he told me, "You've got zero brake lights." Luckily, I didn't get a ticket or in an accident!
I checked all of the fuses in the power center (fuse box) in the side of the driver's side dashboard and under the hood in the engine compartment. I use the ATM-LP Low Profile Mini Fuses. They have the little pin hole on both sides, where I put my pointy multimeter leads in to check for continuity. All fuses are good!
I had to pull out my whole taillight fixture, and then remove 4 screws to get to the bulbs to check them - which seemed like a pain in the butt. The third brake light seemed so much easier to check just inside and up-under the back dash. Just a quick little twist and I was able to tell that the bulb is still good. I thought maybe it might be something like old Christmas tree lights - if one goes out, none of them work... So I had to do the pain in the butt taillight removal. The driver's side brake light bulb is good also.
That must mean that the brake light switch is bad. Am I right? What else could it be??? I want to test the switch, but it seems to be more of a pain in the butt to get to than the side brake light bulbs. I'm sure I can test it in the trunk...
Here's why, and maybe how I can test it...
Although it's not advised to tow with a versa, I do have a five-speed manual transmission... I found a forum with people who have verses with manual transmissions that said they have no problem towing small loads. It all started with just a little cargo carrier for my pressure washer - where I didn't need blinkers and brake lights. I upgraded to a small utility trailer where I needed brake lights and blinkers. I tied in to my tail lights with the four wire flat harness for the trailer. Please don't go thinking that I shorted something out or anything like that!!! LOL I tied in the four wire flat back in 2020 and my brakes have been working for the past 3 years. My brakes just went out recently. Being that I have tapped wires in the trunk, I have access to the different wires. Please help me with the testing...
The 2018 Nissan versa has a negative circuit system, am I right? All electronics have power going to them all the time, and all switches switched the ground wire, is that right? When I open my car door, the little jam switch connects to ground wires to make the light come on, am I right?
Can I put my multimeter on the continuity setting, and put one of the leads to the chassis, and then put the other lead to one of the wires in my tail light (the wire for the break light). If I do this, I should not have continuity. And when I press the brake pedal down, I should all of a sudden hear the beep for continuity, am I right?
Or is it backwards? Is there continuity between the chassis and the brake light wire without the brake pedal being pressed, and then when I press the brake pedal does it lose continuity?
I'm an electrician by trade - a high voltage electrician. I have no idea about this low voltage DC situation here... I'm lying! I'm a little familiar with it - but not much! If I can check my brake pedal brake light switch, with my multimeter on a continuity setting, in the trunk with the exposed wires connected to my trailer's 4-flat harness... Which wire is for the brake lights? I believe the blue wire is for the tail lights. So it would either be green, yellow or red (or is there another one in there that I'm not aware of? LOL). For some reason, I'm thinking the brake light is the yellow wire...
I see two twisted wires coming out of the brake pedal brake light switch up under the dashboard at the top of the brake pedal... The two twisted wires are like an aqua and green... I really can't get to them and don't know where they go to to test them for voltage. Please don't make me crawl up under the dashboard and try to fight that brake pedal, in that very small area!!! There's got to be a way to check the brake pedal brake lights switch in the trunk by the tail light where my taps are made - either with the DC voltage setting, or with the continuity setting on my multimeter.
A Nissan tech should know which color wire goes through the brake lights, am I right? Is it the yellow one? Or could it be the green one? Red? Lol Do all manufacturers of automobiles, such as Ford, Dodge, Chevy, Toyota, etc etc etc use the same color wires for tail lights, flashes / blinkers, brakes, etc etc etc? Or is it different from manufacturer to manufacturer? Are all brake light wires yellow? Are they all green? Or do they all differ depending on the manufacturer?
In summary, I need to know how to test the brake pedal brake light switch in the trunk at the taps with either DC voltage or continuity and which color wire should I use when I test? Thanks a million in advance!!!

There is something living inside my wardrobe, but my mother tells me not to worry.
I try to be a good girl and listen. I don’t want my new mother to be anxious, and I don’t want any punishments, either.
In the daytime, it’s easy to ignore.
I go to school from eight to four, and afterwards mother likes me to stay with her in the living room so that she can make sure I’m doing my homework. She sits on the old sofa that smells like cinnamon and bleach, and I sit between her legs on the floor, practicing my arithmetic as she watches Desperate Housewives and runs a comb through my hair. Sometimes, she pulls the comb too hard, but I don’t mind. At the orphanage, I could go weeks without anyone touching me at all.
But brave as I try to be, it’s harder to ignore the wardrobe during the night.
Even when I shut my eyes tight as corks in glass bottles and smother my face inside my blanket, I can still hear the violent thumping of the wardrobe as it shakes and shudders. Sometimes, it sounds as though someone is trying to tip over the wardrobe from inside. The old wood creaks and trembles so violently that I think the whole neighborhood must hear it. Other times – like when I’m finally drifting off to sleep – the sound becomes muted. The thump-thump-thumping like a resigned heartbeat.
The first night I stayed here, I did try and open the wardrobe. I woke up in the middle of the night, panting and confused from an already-hazy nightmare, and in my state of dream delirium, I’d tugged helplessly at the door, thinking a stray kitten or other small, vulnerable animal had ended up trapped inside. But the door had been locked, and I had woken mother with my hysterics. When she realized the cause of my wailing, she had not been pleased. My backside stung for a week.
The next morning, mother sat me down and told me that there was nothing important inside the wardrobe, much less a suffering cat in need of rescue. The wardrobe had been locked for many months now, and if there was anything inside, she reassured me, it was not alive.
And yet, that did not stop the thumping and buzzing of the restless wardrobe. Neither did ignoring it. After many days of obedience, the creaks and groans did not settle, but instead, began taking on ambiguous patterns in my mind. Although I couldn’t yet decipher the noises, they sounded like forbidden whispers.
“I know there’s not a kitty inside the wardrobe,” I said to mother one evening, during our usual session in the living room. “But what is inside?”
The comb in my hair pressed into my scalp. Not hard enough to sting, but a warning bite. I could hear mother’s breath hitch before she forced herself to resume her brushing.
“Why do you want to know?” she asked.
“Just curious.”
“Ah, well, if there are any dead kittens, that would be the cause,” she said. “Curiosity.”
At first, I thought that was all she was going to say on the matter. It wasn’t until many minutes later – during the commercial break of her show – that she cleared her throat. “If you must know, I use it for storage. Suitcases, documents. And a few sentimental items. They’d mean nothing to you, but the world to me. That’s why I keep it locked.”
I could hear the truth in her voice, and it was enough for me. Still, she gripped me by the roots of my hair, her manicured nails digging into my scalp like polished daggers.
“So don’t try and open that wardrobe again,” she warned.
“Yes ma’am.”
“Because you know the first rule of being a good child, yes?”
“Obey,” I recited dutifully, used to this particular question.
“Who?”
“Those who know better than you.”
“Good.” Mother withdrew her nails, and kissed me tenderly on the same spot she had just wounded. “Now go brush your teeth.”
I listened immediately, as I did with most of mother’s orders. Partially because mother’s punishments could be swift and capricious, but also because I enjoyed living with her. It was clear that, despite her mood swings, mother wanted me around. She packed my lunchbox with all of my favorites, tucked me into bed each night, and genuinely seemed to love being a mother. Plus, she had stocked my room with enough toys that Santa’s workshop would have seemed dingy in comparison. Board games, video games, plush stuffed animals. Many of the toys seemed used, but I didn’t mind second-hand items; at the orphanage, I was lucky to inherit things third-hand or fourth.
In all honesty, if it weren’t for the wardrobe, I could have been content with mother for many years. But although I had started putting cotton in my ears before bed, the wardrobe grew more insistent over the weeks. One night, I dreamed it grew oak-splintered hands and reached out to me, wrapping its wooden fingers around my ankle and dragging me, screaming, into its belly. When I gasped awake, I turned my sights to the wardrobe. Although it could have been my imagination, I swore it had moved an inch closer during my slumber.
Since then, sleep has been harder to come by. Most days, I stay up until dawn glaring at the wardrobe. Sometimes I think a masked man sneaks inside during the day, and rattles the wardrobe during the night – waiting for the right moment to pounce. Other times, I imagine a shackled and gagged prisoner banging their head against the wardrobe for help – stuck inside by a deranged madman, unbeknownst to mother and me. And still other times I think of aliens, or shadow men, or demonic creatures.
But the most consistent, horrible thought? Above any other theory, I think about how this mother isn’t my first mother, and I wonder: what if I am not this mother’s first child, either? What if there were others before me? And what if it is their restless ghosts reaching out to me from inside that wardrobe?
The toll of not-knowing hurts most of all. And so, I decide I must find out.
When mother comes to wake me for school this morning, she is irritated that I am not already dressed. Normally, the punishment for such a thing would be steep, but when she sees the shadows underneath my eyes, her mouth softens. I reach out a clammy hand for her study (taken directly from a movie we had watched a few weeks ago) and let out a pitiful cough.
Although I don’t explicitly ask, she tells me that I can stay home from school today.
“You’ve been such a good girl,” she says. “The best girl. You deserve it.”
She leaves a cup of tea in my hands and places a stuffed bunny with someone else’s initials into the crook of my arm before heading to work. I wait, sipping on tea and squeezing the bunny, until I hear her car engine fade away. Then I rush to her room in search of the key. I expect finding the key to be a difficult task, but I spot it on top of mother’s dresser, unguarded. Waiting. It’s shiny and bronze and looks like a perfect fit.
Refusing to give myself enough time to become intimidated, I grab the key and hurry back to my bedroom. As I approach the wardrobe, it is ominously still. My heartbeat is the only sound as I insert the key into the lock. Click. It turns easily, the key a perfect fit.
I stare into the wardrobe. It is not dead children, or dead madmen, or anything dead at all. It is a phone. I stare for a long moment, dazed and unmoving. In fact, I don't so much as swallow until I am interrupted by a sudden sound.
Buzz, buzz.
The phone has just gotten a message. A message that sends the phone into a tizzy of vibrations, shaking the old wood and reverberating through the hollow wardrobe with an awful groaning noise. The same noise that’s been haunting my dreams.
Buzz, buzz.
With trembling fingers, I pick up the phone. I feel dizzy, faint.
Dearest Daughter: if you’re reading this, I wish you weren’t.
Buzz, buzz.
Dearest Daughter: if you’re reading this, I wish you weren’t.
I open up the messages and scroll up to find nothing but more of the same text. The same message sent over and over again for days, weeks, months. Years. I’ve only been here for one month. When the dizziness grows stronger, I think that I’m about to faint from fear. But when my mouth grows unreasonably dry, my eyes widen. What kind of tea has mother given me?
Dearest Daughter: if you’re reading this, I wish you weren’t.
Dearest Daughter: if you’re reading this, I wish you weren’t.
Dearest Daughter: if you’re reading this, I wish you weren’t.
Dread filling my lungs, I toss the phone back into the wardrobe. But as I’m slamming the door shut, I notice a peculiar sound before the next buzz…a little swoosh.
Like someone sending a text.
When I turn around, I already know mother is waiting in the doorway. I don’t expect how sad she looks.
“Oh, darling,” she says, her voice thick with tears. “This is always my least favorite part of being a mom.”
She rushes towards me. I try to dive away, but before I can take another step, the dizziness overwhelms me and blackness takes me.
When I wake, I’m lying on a cold wooden floor, and I hear a dull prying sound. It’s dim, but as I struggle to sit up, I can see I’m in the basement. At my stirring, mother looks over at me, her brows pushing together in discomfort.
“I wasn’t expecting you to be awake yet,” she says. She sighs and rises to her feet. “Parenting is a perpetual struggle. But us Mothers? We overcome.”
As mother stalks towards me, I scramble backwards. On the other side of the basement, I see what was making the scraping sound. A pickaxe. Mother was pulling up the wooden floors. She was digging something out. No, not something. A coffin. And that’s when I realize: mother was right. There was nothing important inside the wardrobe. The bodies were always in the basement.
I try to make a break for the stairs, but mother is bigger and stronger and faster. She closes in on me and pulls me tightly against her. For a moment, it’s a comfort – the love of being held close by someone who means it – but it’s too tight. This love, it’s smothering me. I can’t lift my face from her chest; it’s hurting my nose and I can’t get enough oxygen into my lungs. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe at all.
“You were doing so good,” mother cries. “You were so respectful, so smart. But don’t you know the first rule is the most important? I won't have a disobedient child."
I scratch and claw at mother, but she doesn’t flinch, even when my nails tear into her flesh.
As darkness presses in on the edge of my vision, the last thing I hear is:
“I could have been a good mother to you…”

Six months or so ago I was reading posts in an effort to figure out why the 'natural' shampoos I've always used for my sensitive scalp would work for a few days then trigger my eczema. I've been ultra careful to steer clear of SLS, parabens, etc etc for years, it made no sense to me.
I happened to stumble on a post about cocamidopropyl betaine and my brain promptly exploded. I ran to my bathroom and read the ingredient list on all 6 bottles sitting in my shower - all 6 had CAPB listed in the top 4 ingredients. Leaving the bathroom, I saw my toothpaste and just stared at it for a minute. There...listed as number six, was the same ingredient.
I was tentatively diagnosed with OLP in the summer of 2021 by my oral medicine doc - I have lacy white patches on my outer gums and inner cheeks which is the result of peeling skin. She sent a biopsy to the pathologist asking for a differential between OLP, MMP, or an allergy, and the pathologist said "Yes". The doc leans more towards an allergy, and after switching to a CAPB free toothpaste, I've seen some significant improvement with my gums!
And! because I am always a little extra, I decided that maybe it's not just a CAPB allergy but a coconut allergy and went on the hunt for coco-free products. These are the products I found, it's by no means a definitive list but I hope it helps. Note: I am an every day washer and likely won't change, it's my preference. Some of these products may not work well for daily washing and it's not a knock to the product, it just doesn't work for me, so I am still on the hunt for my holy grail. Here is what I've tried so far and in order:

• Clean Kids Naturally Tropical Orange Burst - Was really hopeful this was going to be the answer for me as it did not contain any coconut, but sadly my scalp still felt irritated and inflamed after using the third time. Taking a closer look, I think I may be sensitive to jojoba as well. Smelled amazing.
• Chagrin Valley Olive Oil and Babassu bar - Eczema wise, this bar was pretty good until I realized it was leaving behind a very thick, waxy type residue. My scalp irritation went completely away but I did still have some minute patches above my ears. For the residue, it seems like this might be a common complaint as there are instructions on the site about how to use/getting used to a shampoo bar. I did all the recommended things: rinsed *extremely* well, used an ACV rinse, brush through my hair while rinsing but after a month it still felt like build up so I stopped using.
• Exederm Exczema Care Daily Shampoo - definitely helped reduced any scalp inflammation and the spots above my ears healed up. However, it has a very chemical, man made smell and it made my hair feel very flat and sad.
• Puracy Daily Shampoo - I wondered if I went overboard with the "if I'm allergic to CAPB, maybe I"m allergic to all things coconut" so I tried this. Nope, my instinct was right - this made my scalp hurt as soon as I started washing my hair.
• Alodia Nourish & Heal Black Soap Wash - A little went a long way, and again this poo did a good job until I noticed it too started to leave behind a residue.
• Pectolite Harmony Shampoo - having learned my lesson, I bought a trial size and used all of it. The smell is interesting, you can smell the fermented quality to it. I plan to buy another trial size once I run out of the Ayurvita I've been using. I remember having some minimal spots above my ears but none of the intense itching I would have prior to this journey.
• Ayurvita Ultra Nourishing Shampoo with Neem & Reetha - has a really nice spice smell and is only slightly irritating to the spots above my ears. I've consistently used this shampoo the most with the exception of the Exederm. Still not 100% perfect.

Best thing about all of this experimentation I've done - I don't lose even 1/4 of the hair I used to. My hair is past my shoulders, almost to my bra line. I've always brushed/combed through my hair in the shower with conditioner and thought that the amount of hair that would come away in the brush was normal. Even dry, my hair was constantly shedding and every where. Now, I have a ton of regrowth coming in and I haven't had a clogged drain in 6 months.
If you have any suggestions for coconut free shampoo/conditioner that aren't listed here, I'd love to hear about them so I can add to my list to try.

Penance is a 6* DPS Defender, and on top of that she's the 6* equivalent of one of my longtime favorite operators so I'm contractually obligated to write a guide for her. And she's also an operator who demands that you use her in a certain way; while doing so isn't difficult it can trip you up if you aren't conscious of this, so a guide will hopefully make it easy to avoid those pitfalls.

Basic Information

Penance is a 6* Juggernaut Defender, but the operator she's most similar to is Estelle--both of them are self-sufficient operators that actively profit from having more enemies. In fact, Penance's signature Barrier mechanic provides so much self-sustain that she can often go through an entire stage without losing even a single HP. As for her offense, she's the first operator to make good general use of recoil damage, and her direct damage output is nothing to scoff at either.

Offensive Stats

Penance has high Attack, a 1.6 second attack interval, okay dps, and a standard 1x2 range. Most of Penance's offense comes from her talents and skills, but high Attack means her basic attacks don't have many problems with armor.

Defensive Stats

Penance has extremely high HP, high Defense, 10 Res, and 3 block. When she was released Penance had the highest base HP of any operator, and her overall bulk is among the highest in the game.

Cost and Trust

Penance costs a massive 36 DP, making her the most expensive operator in the game alongside Mudrock. Her trust bonus is more offensive compared to her predecessor, giving her 600 HP and 40 Attack.

Trait: Cannot be healed by allies

Penance cannot be directly healed by anyone except for herself. Regen-based healing still works.
Penance, unlike Mudrock, has no self-healing in her kit; if she loses HP she's only getting it back via regen or redeployment. Ideally her Barrier will prevent her from losing HP in the first place so this isn't much of a downside, and she has plenty of HP to spare, but it can occasionally causes problems.

First talent: Guardian of the Law

After deployment, immediately gains a Barrier equal to 50% Max HP; When defeating an enemy, gains a Barrier equal to 10% Max HP (Cannot exceed 300% Max HP)
Effectively, Barrier is bonus HP that does not count towards the normal maximum HP, is lost before "real" HP, and can only be restored by effects that explicitly grant Barrier. It's represented graphically as a lighter blue section on the HP bar, placed between the normal blue of current HP and the empty black of missing HP.
The key to Penance's survivability, Barrier scales off of her enormous max HP to turn her into a enormous HP sponge, capping out at 13,965 Barrier for 18,620 effective HP. Generating Barrier on kills has its pros and cons; on one hand cannon fodder will only improve her bulk, on the other hand she has to worry about kill-stealing and doesn't do as well if 1v1ing elites. That said, if there's so little cannon fodder in a lane you should probably be using a Musha or some other kind of duelist, so it doesn't interfere too much with Penance's intended usage. Kill-stealing also isn't a huge issue, as Penance is built to solo lanes anyway.

Second talent: Wreathed in Thorns

Each time this unit is attacked while under the effect of her own Barrier, deals 50% Attack as Arts damage to the attacker
Previous operators with recoil damage had various shortcomings that left it as a situational thing, be it low recoil damage (that if physical struggled with Defense due to low dph), no damage outside of recoil, or low uptime. Penance, however, has none of these problems: her recoil damage is strong (and as Arts won't care about Defense), her basic attacks still do appreciable damage (and she has her skills on top of them), and her recoil damage is almost always active (denoted by the conspicuous golen aura). Since recoil activates per enemy it's effectively AoE, making handling hordes of cannon fodder and accumulating Barrier that much easier, and letting Penance focus her own attacks on bigger threats. Another advantage is that recoil damage will apply to drones as well, giving Penance potential antiair capabilities. Plus recoil has no range limitation and bypasses Invisibility, making Penance a counter to a variety of annoying enemies.

First skill: Last Word

At m3{m0} Last Word has 0 initial SP, costs 3{4} SP, recovers SP over time, can be Charged, lasts for a single attack, and is automatically activated. It causes the affected attack to deal an additional hit of Arts damage equal to 200%{180%} of Penance's Attack. Charged: The affected attack deals 200%{180%} damage (only applies to the base physical damage) and Stuns the target for 5{3} seconds.
Charged: Can continue recovering SP after reaching the maximum. When SP reaches double the maximum, enter Charged state. Skills have additional effects when activated in Charged state (All SP is consumed whenever skill is activated)
UnCharged, s1 is a simple afk skill that doesn't have much use. The Charged version, on the other hand, is a top-tier crowd control skill--if you can get Penance to cast it. The catch is that due to being auto activation, as long as an eligible target is in range while Penance has filled her first SP bar but not her second she'll cast the much weaker unCharged version. Because of this, the Charged version is normally relegated to opening engagements. The real value of the skill is in its ability to combo with skills that inflict Sleep or Levitate, which render the target invalid and lets Penance Charge her s1 for a potential infinite cc lock. But there aren't many situations where this is both feasible and useful, so s1 is just a footnote to her kit.

Second skill: Stoic Atonement

At m3{m0} Stoic Atonement has 20{14} initial SP, costs 30{34} SP, recovers SP over time, lasts 20 seconds, and is manually activated. Penance stops attacking enemies, gains 60%{50%} Sanctuary, increases Barrier gain from talent 1 by 100%{80%}, and deals 140%{110%} Arts damage to all ground enemies within a 3x3 square centered on her every second (unaffected by ASPD).
Sanctuary: Reduce Physical and Arts damage taken by the stated percentage (Does not stack, strongest effect takes precedence).
The high Sanctuary s2 provides makes Penance ludicrously bulky, acting as a x2.5 multiplier to her effective HP, and helping preserve the extra Barrier she generates during this skill. To illustrate, every kill while this skill active is worth 2,328 eHP, and if she manages to cap her Barrier she'll have a staggering 46,550 eHP! On the offensive side, the effective attack interval reduction and true AoE give it good dps for a melee Arts skill, and her recoil damage is still in effect as well. The 50s rotation is good as well, though having only 40% uptime is mildly disappointing.

Third skill: Trial of Thorns

At m3{m0} Trial of Thorns has 0 initial SP, costs 20{24} SP, recovers SP by getting hit, lasts 30 seconds, and is manually activated. Upon casting the skill Penance instantly gains Barrier equal to 130%{100%} of her max HP (caps at 300% max HP), and for the duration of the skill she gains +400%{+320%} Attack, +0.9s attack interval (giving her a 2.5s interval), and increased Taunt.
The first thing that jumps out in s3's description is the gargantuan +400% Attack, taking a max level Penance to 4,580 Attack. Even with the increased attack interval to reign in her dps somewhat, she still hits like a cannonball, tearing through armor like it's soggy tissue paper and ending the lives of weaker enemies with a single blow. But remember, her recoil damage scales off of her Attack, so with s3 up enemies attacking her are in for 2,290 Arts damage--and thanks to the Taunt, enemies will be attacking her if they have the opportunity. Trash mobs will vaporize on contact with her, and even most elites and bosses aren't getting away unscathed. S3 also generates a hefty chunk of Barrier, 6,052 HP worth at max level, offering great survivability as well.
S3's rotation deserves special attention; while I'm aware that defensive recovery is often seen as a drawback compared to auto recovery, HG seems to share that view and balances accordingly. Defrec skills typically have low SP costs compared to their power, and Penance's s3 is no exception--20 SP cost for 30s duration is amazing for average skills, let alone one this strong. But I think defrec is often an advantage, at least for block 3 units like Penance; defrec charges per enemy, and can even charge >1 SP/sec if there are enough enemies. Furthermore, defrec ties into Penance's overall kit: cannon fodders' attacks barely scratch her high Defense while giving her SP, and when they kill themselves via her recoil damage she gains more Barrier than she lost in the first place, making them pure profit.

Penance, Mudrock, and the Missing 6*

How Penance compares to Mudrock is a common question, and while I don't plan to go into much depth on the topic, I will give some info. The biggest difference, imo, is that Mudrock is more defensive while Penance is more offensive. Mudrock's damage output is mostly propped up by her AoE and her bulk allowing her to stall many enemies indefinitely; if you ever have Mudrock 1v1ing a bulky enemy you'll be waiting a long time. Penance, on the other hand, can use s3 to demolish a single enemy, but her Barrier doesn't naturally regenerate like Mudrock's Shields, and she doesn't fare nearly as well against slow but hard hits. Mudrock being easier to use is a point that gets brought up, but imo most of that is simply the difference between Mudrock s2's autoactivation and Penance s2/s3's manual activation. You do have to pay more attention when positioning Penance so she gets enough fodder and doesn't have to worry about kill-stealing, but with a 36 DP cost she's typically not getting deployed until you've gotten a general idea of what lanes will have fodder, and in exchange for not being as much of a team player Penance has a higher ceiling on her solo performance. In conclusion, the answer is simply that they're different, and both are strong enough to be worthwhile. That said, I do think that comparing Penance to Mudrock just because they're both 6* Juggernauts is approaching Penance from the wrong angle.
Let's change the subject, and talk about Arts Protectors. The first Arts Protector, Dur-nar, released ~3.5 years ago at the time this guide was written, and to my great sorrow there's still no 6\ Arts Protector (only Sentinel Protectors have gone longer with no 6*). Penance may be a Juggernaut but both s2 and her recoil provide a substantial Arts damage output, while s3's sheer dph lets her tear through Defense similar to Arts. Thus, Penance is the closest thing there is to the long awaited 6* Arts Protector. Most melee units with substantial Arts damage either only block 1 (like Arts Guards) or are squishy (like Broca); apart from Arts Protectors and Penance the only units who don't compromise on at least one of those are Lappland, the upcoming Qiubai, Ling's s3 dragons, and if we count true damage s3 Mon3tr. Even among Arts Protectors, Dur-nar is held back by 4* stats, Asbestos is an attempted jack-of-all-trades who fails at almost all of them (especially damage output), Shalem is powerful but his s2's self-damage compromises his bulk, and Czerny is a weird recoil-centric unit who seems to have forgotten that most enemies who deal Arts damage also have high Res. There's simply very little competition for Penance's role, and what competitors she does have are either clearly inferior, not tanks even if they're not squishy, or cost multiple deploy slots (and have to deal with some drawbacks due to being summons). This gives Penance a lot of value simply because there are so few viable alternatives for her role, let alone good ones.
Now, how well this section ages will been seen if and when an actual 6* Arts Protector gets released; it's entirely likely that they'd have much more dps than Penance. That said, such an event is still 7+ months away even if said 6* Arts Protector would be announced tomorrow, so Penance still has plenty of time to enjoy her near monopoly. But even when that time comes, it'll only bring her one real competitor who probably won't have as much survivability as Penance. And on top of that, Penance is still one of the few operators fulfilling an even less populated role: melee Arts dps with self-sustain. Indra and Sideroca are the only other units to completely fit the bill, though if you're willing to bend and stretch the description you could also include s2 Utage (Arts is only via her on-deploy s2), Ling's s3 dragons (can't be healed but Ling can resummon them), s3 Mon3tr (true damage), X3 Specter2 (doll has good Arts dps provided Spec2 is dying enough), and s3 X3 Gladiia (s3 has good arts dps on light enemies). And don't forget, Penance is also the premier user of recoil damage, giving her another useful role where none of her few competitors even come close to her.
In short, while Penance is a Juggernaut and a solo laneholder, don't only look at her fromt hat perspective--think of her as an Arts dps as well.

Mastery Choices

Penance masteries are pretty simple, though m3, m6, and m9 are all valid.
S3 is the easy first pick; it's her primary skill and the reduced SP cost, +80% Attack, and extra Barrier are all important.
S1 is a simple choice to make: ignore it unless you have an interest in doing infinite cc locks with it, in which case m3 is mandatory.
S2 is where things are less clear-cut. While it does overlap with s3, the two skills have their own pros and cons, and s2's masteries are important if you plan on using it.

• S2 pros: 3x3 range true AoE, auto recovery gives a consistent rotation, Sanctuary on top of Barrier makes her extremely tanky
• S2 cons: duration is a little short
• S3 pros: enormous physical dph, extremely high recoil damage, defensive recovery can result in very high uptime, generates Barrier without needing kills
• S3 cons: defensive recovery can hurt when there aren't enough enemies to charge off of

As for my personal opinion, I think s2 is worth mastering; while I'm a major advocate for defensive recovery, s2 can be a substantial improvement to Penance's versatility. And as mentioned above, Penance is filling a surprisingly unique role; it's hard to find a substitute for her s2 on other operators, so mastering it gives you options you otherwise wouldn't have. But there's no need to rush to decide, so take your time and see how much you like using her.

Usage

I've often seen Penance regarded as hard to use, but I do not believe this to be the case. Rather, what's going on is that Penance is an operator with very pronounced strengths and weaknesses, so if used properly she'll excel, but if you try to fit a square peg into a round hole then she'll faily miserably. Her actual role is very straightforward: she's a living roadblock, capable of locking down entire lanes.

Trash Flow

The key to using Penance is simply understanding where trash mobs are going; Penance will rarely be overwhelmed by sheer numbers, so you typically just place her at the best chokepoint available. If a lane doesn't have many or any trash mobs then you simply don't use Penance and take an operator focused more on 1v1 instead, or take advantage of one of the synergies listed later to circumvent her weaknesses. Thankfully it's easy to recognize where the cannon fodder will go, since they typically are the first things to start spawning in a map. Don't be afraid to delay Penance's placement until you're sure where you should put her, as there are many other reasons to do so: at 36 DP she costs a lot to begin with, s2 has high initial SP, s3 can't precharge anyway, and having higher aggro lets her activate her recoil damage more often and get more SP for s3.

Boss Killer?

One common misuse of Penance is using her to fight bosses; while she has impressive damage and bulk, s3's total damage isn't quite enough for her to reliably 1v1 bosses, bosses tend to burn Barrier quickly, and bosses usually have multiple phases to stall out s3's duration and attack slowly so s3 will recharge slowly. While there are some exceptions like phase 2 Patriot whose DoT aura continually procs Penance's recoil damage letting her melt him easily, bosses in general play to her weaknesses. Rather, Penance's forte is in using her fast rotations to deal with elites while letting her recoil clean up trash mobs, allowing your other units to focus their attention on other matters such as the boss.

Barrier Maintenance

Another important thing to learn is how to keep Penance's Barrier up, given how key it is to her kit. You should pick this up fairly quickly if you start using here, but here are some specific pointers:

• Don't be stingy with skill activations; it's often worth it to pop s2 or s3 on some trash mobs (or in s3's case with no mobs around) just for the extra Barrier gain. Their fast rotation often lets her get them ready again before anything bigger comes, and even if it doesn't the extra Barrier often lets her stall longer to get the skills back up again anyway. This isn't always the case as sometimes she does need to save her skills for the perfect moment, but getting used to using them more frequently will go a long way towards keeping Penance going.
• On the other hand, if Penance has capped out her Barrier don't rush to activate s3 but instead let her take a few hits first so that the instant 130% Barrier doesn't go to waste.
• While Penance is vulnerable to kill-stealing, it's possible to pair her with operators that minimize this risk, letting her have her cake and eat it too. Most notably, operators with skills that temporarily extend their range can be placed so that they can only target enemies Penance is attacking during their uptime, preventing killstealing during downtime. Operators who don't attack at all when their skills are inactive work on a similar principle, as do fast/medium redeploys, providing damage only when it's desired. In a broader sense any operator with weak basic attacks but stronger burst dps can also be used like this. As long as you apply a little caution there are plenty of operators who can safely assist Penance.

SSS

SSS is a gamemode almost tailor-made for Penance, offering lots of trash mobs that typicially funnel into 1-2 chokepoints. And with her s3 already having such high dph she doesn't need to stack Attack just to overcome Defense, giving her a lot of freedom in which buffs you stack. For example, the classic Vanguard A lets her charge even during downtime, Defender A's +1 block lets her stack up even more mobs, and Guard B provides the overall highest dps increase. Or if you want to try something silly, a full Vanguard stack will let Penance always Charge her s1 for chain Stuns and a high damage too.

Synergies

While Penance would rather other operators stay in their own lanes for the most part she does still have some synergies, and most of them are strong ones at that. If you have any of the operators listed below it's well worth considering if there's some way for you to fit them into your team when using Penance (or vice-versa).

SP Batteries

Penance's s3 has a low SP cost and high power but defensive recovery can lead to difficulty charging it, making her a great candidate for use with SP batteries. While many SP batteries don't work well with her if at all, being defensive recovery does unlcok three great ones that auto recovery can't use, and there's another great one that has special synergy with her.

Blemishine

Blemishine's talent causes defrec skills to recover 1 SP when attacking; with Penance's 1.6s interval that's an average 0.625 SP/sec, charging s3 in 32s on its own. And that's not counting the base defensive recovery SP gain, which will charge s3 even faster in practice. This is especially useful for improving s3's performance against slow-attacking but hard-hitting elites, which normally give it trouble. The drawback is that this still requires that Penance have enemies to fight, so during breaks between waves Penance is still stuck at 0 SP/sec. Even so, Blemi has a transformative effect on Penance, and Penance may well be the operator who benefits most from Blemi. And given that Blemi's plenty good on her own merits, using her to charge Penance doesn't require much sacrifice.

Stainless

Stainless s3 provides deployable turrets that can be attacked, thereby triggering Blemishine's SP battery, ensuring that Penance s3 will always have a 32s cooldown at worst. Stainless can also directly act as an SP battery with s2, but in that capacity he's not as good as Penance's other options.

Ch'en1

Ch'en1 with her X2+ module causes offrec and defrec skills to recover 1 SP every 3 seconds, an average 0.33 SP/sec, charging s3 in 60s on its own. While Ch'en1's SP battery is only around half the strength of Blemi's, it has the advantage of working regardless of whether there are enemies available, letting Penance keep charging during breaks between waves. While this isn't quite as impactful as Blemi's it's still very noticeable, and if you wanted you could always use both, as Blemi also benefits from Ch'en1's SP battery. With X3 Ch'en1 is a much more capable operator than she once was, and Il Siracusano finally allows you to use her without having to kick Ch'en2 out of the squad.

Aak

Aak s3 attacks an operator 15 times for 500 physical damage, and if the target survives both they and Aak will be buffed. Penance's Defense means Aak only does 375 total damage, and all those attacks do count towards Defensive recovery, granting Penance 15 SP near instantly (Aak is not affected by Penance's recoil damage). The buff from s3 is +50% Attack and +50 ASPD; while the former is heavily diluted by Penance s3's +400% Attack, the latter is not and provides a good damage boost, though it only lasts for two-thirds of Penance s3's duration. Aak's rotation also lines up fairly well with Penance s3, at 55s--assuming you can get the 5 extra SP from something, Penance s3 will have a consistent 25s cooldown.

Saga

Due to her talent, Saga is incapable of landing the killing blow on an enemy (except via her s2), instead putting them into the Critically Wounded state where they'll die in a single hit, granting 2 SP to whoever finished them off. This is perfect for feeding Penance Barrier, plus Saga's s3 can fund Penance's DP cost and has range extension so Saga can hide behind Penance and continue providing assitance.

Regen

Regen is the only way to heal Penance so it gets a mention here, though more so as a warning. While it may seem like regen would be extremely helpful, the reality is if Penance is taking so much damage that she'd die without regen then she's spending a long time with no Barrier and her combat performance will suffer due to her second talent being inactive. Thus, regen is a lot less useful than you may think at first glance. It's not entirely useless as it might well be what she needs to wait out s3's cooldown for the renewed Barrier, but it's rarely worth going out of your way for.

Damage Mitigation

Rather, if you want to keep Penance alive focus on preventing/reducing damage she takes, which will let her Barrier last longer and thus indirectly buff her offense along with her defense.

• The best operator in this category is [Skadi2](v), who conveniently provides not only +Defense but also regen, and she also buffs Attack to boot. Penance s3's +400% Attack will heavily dilute this, but s2's 140% attack scale will multiply it.
• Quercus is extremly effective due to mechanical interactions. She provides Sanctuary as long as an operator in her range is above 70% HP--and with Barrier shielding her actual HP, on Penance it's extremely easy to meet this condition. It will be overwritten by s2's stronger Sanctuary, but is still helpful during s2's downtime or for s3. Penance being unhealable means Quercus can't use s2 as an SP battery for her, but also means Penance won't steal SP if you have someone else for Quercus to SP battery.
• Shamare is another useful partner, as her -50% Attack debuff combined with Penance's naturally high Defense greatly reduces incoming Arts damage and drastically reduces incoming physical damage. Shamare has both an excellent rotation and can reach anywhere there's a deployable tile thanks to her doll, making her easy to use as well.
• Aak is back, this time with s2. S2 attacks an ally like s3 and thus works as an SP battery for Penance s3, but provides +80% Defense and HP as the buff. The latter is especially interesting due to a quirk of how Barrier works: while current HP scales in real time based on changes to max HP, Barrier only cares about HP at the instant it is gained. Using Penance s3 while Aak s2 is active thus provides 80% extra Barrier, and the 300% cap will be based on that 80% higher max HP as well. When Aak s2 ends Barrier in excess of the normal cap will not be lost, but Penance will be unable to gain any more Barrier until she's below the normal cap once more. With a 30s duration and cooldown, Aak s2 can cover the entire duration of Penance s3, but the cooldown will be slightly longer.

Rosa

Rosa is one of many operators who are less likely to steal Penance's kills, but I decided to give her some special attention due to how well her mechanics work with Penance. As a Besieger she naturally prioritizes the heaviest enemy in range, which normally means she prioritizes the enemies that are a net Barrier loss over the ones that are a net Barrier profit. Furthermore, she ignores 60% of the Defense of weight 3+ enemies and her upcoming module will ~double her dps against them; this makes her very good at taking down those elites, but even when she runs out her dps against the trash mobs will be lackluster, giving Penance the chance to kill them herself.

Ebenholz

While I haven't tested this combo personally, much like Rosa Ebenholz is geared to fight elite enemies, and thus tends to leave mobs for Penance. The catch is that his "filter" is reliant on skill uptime, and when he does attack trash mobs he tends to ohko them, making him very map-reliant to pair with Penance.

Sleep/Levitate

As mentioned earlier, combining Penance with operators that inflict these status effects can result in an infinite cc lock on an enemy, but this generally requires 3+ operators total. The most notable combo is with Erato s1 and a source of SP such as Ptilopsis's talent, which will produce an afk cc lock. This is a very low investment combo as well: Erato only needs s1r7 which can be achieved at e1 1, and Ptilopsis's e1 talent is sufficient SP generation, so only Penance needs e2 and mastery.

Base Skills

At e0 Penance's base skill is Law and Order, a Office skill. Law and Order provides +50% HR contacting speed but increases morale consumed per hour by 0.5.
At e2 Penance gains a second base skill, Fellow Travelers, a Dorm skill. Fellow Travelers restores 0.15 morale per hour to all Operators in that Dorm, and an additional 0.05 morale per hour for every recruitment slot beyond the original two. (Only the strongest stacked effect of this type takes place)
Penance has strongest Office skill even from e0, but with the drawback that she can only work a single 12 hour shift. Her e2 skill is a standard morale recovery skill, but it's a freebie on an operator who'll be spending a lot of time in the Dorms anyway. As a reminder, you shouldn't upgrade the Office so this skill should only provide 0.15 morale/hour rather than 0.25.

Closing

This guide ended up being shorter than I expected, since at the end of the day using Penance isn't all that complex if you acknowledge her limitations. Even so, if you have any questions ask away as I may have left something out unintentionally. Next up I plan to do a guide for Reed2 sometime during her banner, and maybe a miniguide/PSA on post-module Rosa since she hasn't been getting nearly enough hype. As always, here's a link to the Operator Guide Repository maintained by u/LastChancellor, also available in the subreddit's sidebar.
In case you'd like to see Penance in action for yourself, here are some videos (possible spoilers ahead). These are generally showing her performance in extreme scenarios and at max level, but they should give you an idea of what her upper limit is like.

• 7-18, solo, s3 Penance (m0 no trust)
• H7-2, 2 Defenders, s2 Penance/s1 Horn
• H7-3, 2 Defenders, s3 Penance/s2 Horn
• M8-8, 2 operators, s3 Penance/s3 Hellagur
• H8-3, 2 Defenders, s3 Penance/s3 Eunectes
• S9-2, solo, s3 Penance
• H9-2, 2 operators, s3 Penance/s3 Surtr
• H9-3, 3 operators, s2 Penance/s2 Ifrit/s2 Scene
• 10-17, 2 Defenders, s3 Penance/s3 Mudrock
• H10-2, 3 unhealables, s2 Penance/s2 Hellagus3 Mudrock
• H10-3, 5 Defenders, s3 Penance/others
• 11-6, solo, s2 Penance
• 11-7, solo, s3 Penance
• 11-14, 2 Defenders, s3 Penance/s2 Horn
• RI-EX-5 CM, solo, s3 Penance
• MN-EX-8, s1 Penance/s1 Erato/Ptilopsis showcase
• DH-S-4 CM, 3 Defenders, s2 Penance/s2 Horn/s3 Eunectes
• SN-S-1-A, 3 operators, s3 Penance/s2 Gnosis/s3 Texas2
• SN-S-4-A, 4 Defenders, s3 Penance/s1 Gummy/s3 Mudrock/s1 Horn
• IS-9, 2 operators, s2 Penance (m0)/s3 Schwarz
• IS-10, 2 operators, s3 Penance (m0)/s3 Surtr
• IS-EX-5, solo, s2 Penance
• IS-EX-5, solo, s3 Penance
• IS-EX-8 CM, 4 Defenders, s3 Penance/s2 Saria/s3 Eunectes/s2 Horn
• SK-5, 2 operators, s2 Penance/s1 Gladiia
• upcoming Annihilation, s3 Penance vs various Dorothy's Vision mechas
• SSS Glebe, s3 Penance showcase
• SSS various, s1 Penance showcase

First/Previous/Next
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Chapter 3 Part 1
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They always said that you never dreamed in cryogenic sleep. Which was true. It was \impossible to dream with your entire being frozen to negative temperatures, body flooded with preservation medications so ice crystals wouldn't form in the cell walls or a host of other complications that would otherwise kill a person. What they neglected to tell you was the dreams you had when thawing out and waking up.
The dreams a person experienced while undergoing this thawing process were always intense too. As vivid as reality as it was sometimes reported. No one knew why. Whatever it was; whether it was the combination of drugs, the brain trying to understand the trauma it had just experienced or even the soul catching up with the universe as some more spiritualist elements theorised, without fail the dreams were the most intense someone could experience. For her, this time, they were far more than just intense.
​
Her eyes darted under her eyelids as the ghosts of energy bolts from aeons past darted in her memory. She heard the screams at the shaking of each dust filled rumble in her head. Her ears barely registered the dulled hum of ancient machinery fulfilling vital life sustaining protocols and the silent clicks of her standardised survival suit undergoing restart checks. Her helmet blocked out everything else or she'd have also heard the murmurs of voices beyond her pod. The cries of the dying desperately making one last stand echoed in her ears, drowning out the dull sounds. Those dying to protect her.
In her dream her arms reached out painfully slow for her father. She ached for them to go faster. This time she would make it. She'd be able to block the lid from fully sealing, preventing the cryogenic pod from starting. She was millimetres away. And yet the pod sealed effortlessly with a resounding hiss. At that her limbs decided to move normally again and hammered on the inside of the pod as the reinforced armour glass door's magnetic locks clunked to activation.
A dull green light shone into her face. Glacial coolness washed over her body as she slowly succumbed to the sensation of drowning. In one last desperate attempt she tried again to reach for her father. He wouldn't even look at her. A woman in midnight black armour cloaked in ragged robes embraced him from behind.
She screamed herself hoarse, trying to use sheer force of will to make the glass melt away. For her fingers and hands to phase through the transparent barrier and wipe away the tears staining his white bearded face. To just touch him one last time, even through the haptic feedback of her suit. To get him away from the stranger caressing him and wiping away the tears that belonged to her. She screamed a guttural scream as his face became sallow at the stranger's touch. It was killing him. Eyes sunk into sockets and flesh peeled back at the rapid mummification. "Alas" said the midnight black armoured woman in the ragged robes, holding her father's grinning skull in a gentle caress on the tips of her fingers. "Poor girl. Time to wake up. Wake up, and smell the ashes"
Fear gripped at her heart in a vice. There was nothing she could do but watch. The only way out was the emergency release button embedded at her side. But it was already too late, she didn't get to try as the feeling of drowsiness drowned her out, pulling her deep into the depths of slumber.
Except this time the feeling didn't become a stifling cold malaise. Instead, it was getting warmer. The sensation of drowning was slowly dissipating. As if she suddenly remembered she needed to breathe, her chest gave a mighty heave and began to rise and fall. For the first time in both more than a millenia and less than a handful of minutes, a large gasping breath passed through her lips. The inside of her visor fogged from the condensation.
She still heard the residual echoes of screams and cries in her ears like a phantom pain. But they were fading. Being replaced by a newer, stranger sound. The murmuring of a language she couldn't understand filtered through the glass and barely perceptible inside her helmet. Voices crowded around her pod. She hadn't yet opened her eyes. She didn't want to. She wished she was still in the dream.
Revival was always a confusing process and this was no different than the fifty odd times she’d undergone it before. But each time she had woken up her father had been there. He had to be there. Like how he’d be there this time. After all, it had only been a bad thaw dream.
The urge to open her eyes and look was almost overwhelming but she had to keep them shut. It was imperative until the medical diagnosis beeped an all clear signal. Otherwise she risked retinal damage before they were fully thawed. Until then she was alone in the dark with her thoughts. It was comforting to have thoughts however. What’s more; it was an even greater comfort knowing that because she was even having thoughts, she wouldn't spend an eternity of limbo in her frozen tomb, lost to the universe.
Finally, after what felt like an aeon, a dull chime resounded inside her helmet. Her eyelids slowly fluttered open. Microsensors within her helmet immediately noticed the movement and activated her suit's display systems. A heads up display appeared in front of her face. Light teal transparent letters flickered as she read information being displayed.
​
CRYOGENIC REANIMATION COMPLETE.
​
PLEASE EXIT THE UNIT AT YOUR DISCRETION.
​
This was strange. If her father was monitoring he would have already opened the pod right as her eyes opened. At least the words were reassuring. If there was anything wrong with either the pod or herself it would have been indicated in bright red flashing letters. A flick of her eyes and a blink dismissed the notification from her visor and she laid there in a stupor. She needed to get out and find everyone, find out what had happened.
It had all been so fast. There was barely enough time to even put on her survival suit and rush to the lowest levels.
The guards escorting her, Sergeant Lockley and a subordinate of his she had never got the name of, had practically dragged her in their rush, the entire bunker wasn’t even bothering with security procedures anymore. Everywhere else had gone quiet days ago, as far as they had been aware they were the last ones left.
No matter how much she'd pestered Sergeant Lockley he'd never given her any details on what had happened beyond that they needed to hurry and were about to be under attack. He didn't need to say by who, especially that late into the war. If it could even be called a war by then. It was more like a genocide with the fleets falling from the sky burning the heavens. City after City had collapsed, less and less reports coming in until they were isolated. And then it had been their turn. The entire human race reduced from carving out their own territory in the wider community to a scant few fighting tooth and nail for every scrap of dirt in a few decades.
That pit in her stomach as she'd been unceremoniously thrown in the pod while her father had ran all the checks himself when it normally took an entire team, was returning. Or had it never gone and she was only now allowed to feel it once again?
But she had been woken up. If she was awake then someone knew she was here, which meant they must have won. Beat the terrible odds stacked against them and come out the other side. If it had only been a few hours, or even a few days, either way it didn’t matter. She needed to get out and help the survivors, an extra pair of hands would be absolutely invaluable.
Looking at the lid, there were unexpected layers of thick dust caked against the outside of the glass, all except where her head had been. Maybe the combat had been so heavy the cryo chamber had nearly collapsed and whoever had woken up had brushed that portion aside to check on her. Yes, that must have been it. Holographic displays floated in front of her beyond the glass, their brightness blinding her eyes as well as making it almost impossible to make out who stood beyond their glare. She tried squinting past them, the shapes of the people outside were hard to make out, the fuzzy outlines of their bodies blurred together. However, their heads were still identifiable in the darkness as her eyes still adjusted. And from the looks of it there were at least four people in front of her. There was only one way to definitively find out though.
She motioned her fingers to indicate she was awake to the internal sensors inlaid into the walls of her glass coffin. She didn’t know why they hadn’t used the external controls to let her out, maybe they had been broken.
A dull clunk sounded indicating the magnetic locks had been released and the holograms flickered off as the glass slowly slid upwards with a motorised hum. The metal brim passed over her face, her visor compensated automatically for the low light levels, revealing, at last, her rescuers.
Four definitely humanoid figures crowded around her in the dark room. If she hadn’t been wearing her helmet the light coming from their torches being shined directly in her face would have blinded her. Instead, the glare was automatically filtered, revealing the figures standing in the room with her. They wore strange plated purple armour, bulky in the fashion all military equipment tended to be. A metallic point descended in the middle of their faceplates giving them an appearance similar to angry owls. Maybe it had been a special prototype her father had kept in storage somewhere, something given to the few elite soldiers remaining that helped to turn the tide. All the guesswork and unanswered questions directly after the panicked scramble to get into the pod was beginning to agitate her.
As a result, even through her reasoning, something nagged at the back of her mind. Trying to tell her something was off. She slowly looked over the four people again with her eyes, studying them closely without turning her head and giving away what she was doing. The one to the far right of her had their weapon hovering vaguely in her direction, as if unsure of what to do suddenly. Why would people that knew about her be so scared of her? It looked like an odd combination between an ornate staff and a rifle yet not quite either and looked to be encased in the same dark purple material as their armour. No matter how it looked, a weapon was a weapon and these people were dangerous. But they had also just woken her up. Surely if they had done that they wouldn’t be here to harm her. If they were, they could have easily done that while she slept.
The one directly in front of her, however, had no weapon out that she could see. Instead they had paused with a hand pressed into what looked like a computer device embedded on their forearm armour. The glow of the screen was reflected in the strangely shaped visor.
She tried weakly reaching out of her pod for the one closest to her in an attempt for aid.
"Where’s my dad? Did we win? How many days has it been?" She asked in a rapid succession, her weak voice amplified by the speakers within her helmet. She had to know.
The strangers looked at each other. They seemed more shocked at her speaking than helping her get up in her weakened state. She gave up on reaching out and instead used her arms to adjust herself on her near vertical frozen bed. She could feel the strength slowly return to her limbs as she moved. It would take a little while longer until she felt she could make an attempt to stagger out of her cryo pod but until then she was essentially helpless.
The strangers simply kept staring at her, as if they didn’t even know what she was. Which meant they weren’t from her bunker. They truly were strangers in the truest sense. But even so, they were survivors. And if they had survived then perhaps others had as well. For now however she needed information, her feelings either way could wait until she knew more.
"Who are you, how did you get here?" She asked again.
One of the beings, the one she had been reaching out to, spoke. It was a strange, melodic language that she didn't understand. Almost haughty in tone. That it hadn’t been automatically translated meant it must have not been in the system. An oversight by the programmers no doubt. Either that or they were speaking in a form of code. She sighed, that would make this far harder in an already difficult situation. Her powerful in built computer would be able to eventually figure out and create a translation if it really was a language but until then she needed them to speak more to hurry the process. Or even better, if she could activate one of the embedded computers on the wall, it would be able to extrapolate from just a scant few words. A common frame of reference to start with would be the best option but she struggled to think of what to use.
She remembered reading back when she was younger; even under the best of circumstances experts would deliberate for months, even years, on the meanings and nuances of individual words to ensure the most accurate translations possible. Computers helped immensely with the process but without the subtleties of organic beings they could create embarrassing inaccuracies.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand. But if you can understand me, please help me get to the computer over there I'll be able to understand you" she pleaded, pointing with her right hand at the dust covered screen mounted into the wall.
The second stranger on the left, standing behind the closest one she had been reaching for, said something in their still untranslated language and slowly walked over to the computer.
They must not be able to understand me either she thought.
The stranger pointed at the screen and said something. She had a feeling this time it was a question with the tonal inflection. That was good, if her hunch paid off it would help immensely.
Hoping what they had asked was something similar to "do you want me to turn this on" she nodded. The being said something that sounded harsher this time and the two she hadn't interacted with raised their weapons squarely on her. That message didn't need a translation. They obviously didn't trust her. The being cautiously reached out while looking at her, hesitating only for a moment, before wiping away a layer of dust and placing their hand on the touch sensitive glass. The machinery hummed to life as the screen registered the limb pressed against it and turned on.
Relieved by the fact that the fortress bunker's fusion core was still operational, she watched as the state of the art device cycled itself.
Yet another dull blue glow added to the room’s illumination as the main screen activated. Her own armour's holographic interface automatically synchronised to the system and displayed in front of her, adding to the blue light, its own illumination and brightening the room from a dull gloom to a faded glow.
The strangers still eyed her warily, fingers not on their triggers but hovering close enough to fire if she tried anything. This was more than not trusting her. They seemed scared of her.
Slowly and deliberately to show them she wasn't up to anything untoward, she lifted her right hand to tap on the translator option in front of her among the myriad of options. The haptic feedback in her glove gave her the sensation of resistance as she pressed and the computer gave a chime of recognition. Three concentric rings appeared on the screen, pulsating like a heartbeat. She spoke and the rings pulsed in time with her words.
"If you speak, that should be able to translate for us in real time" she said.
The one to her left lifted up her arm with the miniature screen and pointed it at the wall computer as the one who had touched the wall screen voiced more of their melodic speech.
"I think it's a translation programme, commander. I've managed to connect and uploaded our language to its database. They obviously designed it to be universal, it automatically reached out to my pad. It doesn’t seem like there aren't any defences or compatibility issues at the moment but this one will need to go through maintenance checks back on the ship" the being said, the software translating the language to her in real time. “But right now the risk is minima, I’m letting our systems access the programme now”
It was a wonder of coding, even managing to mimic vocal tones and cadences of the individual accurately. Although there was a slight disorienting disconnect in person when the sounds didn't quite match up to the mouth movements but that was something you got used to.
She smiled inside her helmet and relaxed, the tension that had been building easing out of her body. It was working and she'd be able to talk to them finally. And get some much needed answers.
"At least you’ll finally be able to understand me" she said.
The beings were confused for a second, each looking at each other like they'd been the ones to say it before it dawned on them that she had just spoken to them in their own language. They turned to stare at her from behind their owlish visors. It would have been almost predatory if their brief naive confusion hadn't been so amusing.
Immediately, the two with their weapons trained on her began to lean in, their fingers barely hovering over the triggers. The one who had placed their hand on the computer moved in front and motioned to them with a gesture. They lowered their weapons but did not appear to have calmed down.
"Who are you?" the person demanded.
The simple question confused her immensely. If they didn’t know who she was then why were they even down here in the first place? Even so, she needed their help to be able to get out of her pod. Let alone leaving the bunker and getting to the surface and finding any survivors. There was little choice, she needed to be careful. Secrecy protocols drilled into her by intelligence trainers until she’d had migraines were almost second nature at this point. Especially with what she should reveal and to who. But her name was something she shouldn't have to worry about.
"My name is.. Alice" she said with only the briefest hesitation.
Deciding that she could get further with these strangers by forcing a situation and getting out of the pod rather than just laying there, Alice leaned up and took a tentative shaky step forwards. She braced herself with her hands against the cushioned sides as she placed her weight on her dominant foot, stepping out warily. As soon as she lifted the weight off her back foot her leg buckled and she collapsed onto the ground in a heap.
The one who had been closest to her this entire time rushed forwards to help her.
"Are you alright?" they panicked as they helped Alice stand.
"I'm fine. Just a bit shaky after being asleep for so long." Alice replied calmly. "It's a side effect of the drugs for cryogenics. It'll take me a few more moments for it to get out of my system"
"Why would they keep you frozen for so long if it would have such deleterious effects?" asked her helper.
"What do you mean for so long? It’s just what’s used"
"Can you tell us why you were here? What happened? Why are there so many dead soldiers in this facility?" asked the demanding one.
Alice couldn’t let them see how such a casual line of questioning shook her. Taking all of her meagre strength to not simply collapse again from shock. She had to compose herself or she’d let something go by accident. At least she could be honest in this instance.
"I don't know any of that either. I was put in there before any of that happened or anything was explained to me" she said, indicating with a thumb over her shoulder. Her casual body language was key. Keep them off balanced, make sure they didn’t know how much she was internally panicking then.
he body language of the person asking her so many questions appeared incredulous at her hesitancy to be forthcoming.
Besides which, Alice had questions of her own.
“Not to be ungrateful, but who are you all?” she asked.
The one who had been demanding of her appeared to straighten up their back even further somehow.
“I am Commander Yurisa. The one kindly helping you stand at the moment is Second Rating Shand."
The latter term was unfamiliar to her but she perfectly understood the implications of there being a commander. There were enough survivors to field a well equipped and manned military. Tentative hope began to form as Alice looked at the person helping her. She gave them a nod of greeting.
"What about them?" asked Alice, indicating to the two who had been the tensest and most willing to point their weapons eagerly at her. They were still slightly hovering their weapons in her general direction.
"Conscripts Doane and Hedi. They do not need your attention, pay them no heed" said the commander curtly.
The lack of respect for the two subordinates caught Alice off guard. The two people, Doane and Hedi, may have been jumpy at her. But they didn't deserve to be dismissed so out of hand.
Even so, she could think about the ramifications of someone who would dismiss their underlings in such a manner later. Now her focus was changing as the strength returned to her limbs. She needed to find out about the rest of the bunker, what had happened after she had been frozen.
She untangled herself from Shand who had been helping her and stood straight on her own, albeit still slightly wobbling.
"Thank you for waking me up, all of you. But if it's alright, I'd like to know what happened. How many days has it been since I was locked in there?" she slightly chuckled nervously.
"Not until we know you won't pose a danger to my people or my ship" Yurisa replied sternly, a hand extended in front of her. They had evidently identified the weapon she carried.
This seemed like a hard line she shouldn’t push for the moment. She didn’t know these people and they in turn didn’t know about her it seemed. A rapport was more important for the moment, leaving her only one course of action if she didn’t want to be shot by the jumpy soldiers. Slowly reaching towards her thigh for the standard issue civilian sidearm clamped there. Making sure to deliberately grab it by the casing rather than the grip and placed the rugged weapon in the proffered commander’s hand.
Yurisa looked at her for a seeming eternity before hooking her gun on an armoured belt.
Stand down" she commanded.
Doane and Hedi once again relaxed, except this time they slung their weapons onto their backs in fluid motions.
Content they had relaxed and weren’t going to shoot her after all, Alice went to the computer she had indicated to Yurisa to turn on. She tapped the screen to change menus from the translation software to a full cultural database download. The computer chimed and began downloading the entire memory bank into her onboard storage. All the information amassed before and after her sleep. All public research and development. All scientific theories and art and literature. The entire sum of all human knowledge and culture. She'd carry it with her. The weight would be immense. The guilt of leaving it behind would be worse.
"I promise I'm not a threat commander" she said dejectedly. The energy rushed out of her as fast as it had returned, like a collapsing wave on a beach. She accessed the imaging network. Before there had been hundreds of cameras available, ranging from CCTV in the cities to satellites in orbit. Now it seemed none remained, not even static from severed connections. They were simply blank screens with error codes. She couldn't even see what had become of her home. She tried accessing previous recordings, hoping at least the final moments of the people who had protected her had been saved. The files listed themselves in front of her in a cascade of videos all dated and timestamped. She added them to the download, vowing to sort through them at the earliest opportunity.
"I just want to leave. I want to get out and see what’s survived. Who’s survived. I want to see the Earth and help rebuild, maybe even find anyone I know if I’m lucky."
She stared at the screen, willing the cameras to life. To show her the bustling streets and busy sky lanes. To see the grand ships hanging in low orbit above the urban centres, ever watchful sentinels of the heavens. But the screen defied her will and remained stubbornly black. Her rapt attention shielded her from the awkward glances the people seemed to be sharing behind her.
Shand nervously cleared her throat. “About that..”
She began but the commander furiously cut her off with a swift hand signal.
Frustration clawed at her as Alice repeatedly swiped horizontally through the vast list of camera nodes, the error codes stubbornly refusing to yield. A single flash of colour blurred past her frantic swiping. She swiftly backpedalled, searching for the frame that had zoomed by. With a tap, the swiping stopped. She had found it. A single camera she had overlooked. Tapping on the frame to enlarge the feed, she stood back. The image before her was severely cracked and pitted, barely feeding a picture let alone video. Static suffused almost the entire screen. But past it she could just about make it out. The ruins of the city. No fires flared or smoke dissipated into the sky as she expected. Or even rebuilt to its former splendour like she was hoping with these strangers being in her bunker. Instead, her eyes tried to process the rusted sharp jags of bare metal left to rot into nothing. The illusion her brain had imagined while she had been so desperate moments ago shattered at the reality in front of her.
It was gone. All of it. Just how long have I been frozen?
Grief and fear threatened to rear up in her before an entirely different sensation replaced them.
They destroyed it all. All of it. No mercy After all we had given them. Their very reason for being. If it hadn’t been for the human race they wouldn’t have even existed. HOW DARE THEY!
“HOW DARE THEY!” she screamed, punching the screen with unbridled rage.
Webs of cracks spread out from under her fist as she took deep breaths. She had to control herself. She didn’t want to turn and look at the people no doubt staring at her after her outburst. No clacks of weapons had sounded so at least they weren’t panicking even if they would be on edge yet again.
A warbling chime broke the spell around her. The download was complete. Everything that had been was now with her. The importance of it was undeniable before but now it was possibly the only record left in the galaxy. She had to guarantee its safety, as well as her own. The fallback option when she was woken up without the expected personnel. She typed in the final command she had been told to do when she had been briefed so long ago.
​
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS
​
Alice snorted to herself.
Of course it would be that, they always thought they had a sense of humour. What idiots.
And with those last letters, the fortress that had survived fathomless millenia protecting its charge shut down with barely a dulcet low whine. The ruined screen flickered as the fission reactors went off line. The dull blue light slowly dimmed, once again returning the room to darkness. The last thread of life that had lasted so long finally free. And the last man made structure died, its duty carried for so long fulfilled.
Alice turned from the console a final time. The only sources of light came from the torches of the people standing in the room with her. She reached up to the side of her own helmet and touched a small pad. An embedded LED just above her faceplate illuminated itself, adding a narrow cutting beam to the wide ones of these apparent soldiers.
Commander Yurisa appeared to become distracted for a moment, her head tilting slightly to one side as if someone were talking directly into her ear. Her reply to whoever was on the other end of the obvious communication was heard by Alice.
"No, nothing to worry about. Sit tight, we're on our way back" she said to whoever it was.
Judging by that context, Alice guessed they were heading back up to the surface. They had come down and discovered her and were now leaving with their prize in tow.
No matter, as long as she could get off the planet she didn’t care where they took her now. She didn’t think she could handle the ghosts if they left her here.
Commander Yurisa indicated towards Alice, gaining her attention.
“We will be taking you back to our ship in orbit. Standard procedure means you will be confined to quarantine until medical scans show you are clear of any pathogens or other such contaminants that may prove a risk to us. These scans are non invasive and barring any complications will last no longer than a single rotation” she said in a statement that sounded rehearsed more than sincere.
Alice’s brain scratched like a record at what she had just been so casually told. A ship in orbit. She could barely comprehend all the implications it raised, not least of all the biggest one of how. She had to find out, to see if they had found an intact ship or maybe were even from a separate colony that had been missed. Her mind raced as she simply nodded in return, keeping the facade.
“I understand. I wouldn’t want to cause any harm to any of you. Just please, can we leave.” she begged.
“Doane, take the lead back to the surface. Second Rating, follow him and map our way out” ordered the stern commander.
Doane performed an odd slamming across his torso and nodded before heading towards the doorway. Alice gave one last glimpse at the pod that had kept her safe. She didn’t know if she would miss it in time but for now she felt hollow. Everything was proceeding so quickly and sooner or later she would have confront being left behind for such a long time. At least soon she would be getting answers. Why they had never found or woken her before now. She didn’t even know when now was, that was something she’d have to look up in the records when she had time.
Her lamenting was interrupted by the form of the commander filling her vision. Arm extended, indicating it was her turn to leave. Passing through the once pristine doorway, she immediately noticed the state of sheer decay. Instead of an elevator, rubble and rust met her eyes. She looked up, trying to spot where these people had climbed down. The opposite doorway wasn’t far above her, barely two levels. Doane and Shand were already more than halfway up. More beams of light were cutting through the gloom back at her, revealing the individual that Yurisa must have been talking to over the radio earlier.
Crossing the debris strewn floor, Alice reached for the corroded ladder, grabbing the rung closest to her. With mighty heaves she brought herself up, step by step, her limited strength making the simple task a strained ordeal.Finally she reached the opening she had seen from the bottom. Reaching out with her left food to dismount she hopped the small gap. Her weakened muscles still building their stamina back up from her lengthy internment failed her. Her foot slipped off the rung as she overexerted her leg, her left foot buckling from beneath her. Arms waving in front of her, desperately scrabbling for purchase on anything before she would plunge back into the darkness. Gravity inevitably overcame her struggle and pulled her back into the black shaft. A hand shot out, yanking on her forearm and dragging her back from the brink of her overbalance and firmly out of the doorway.
Alice collapsed hard onto her hands and knees, panting at the loss of strength and exhaustion wracking her body. Desperately trying to catch her breath, she looked up at who had pulled her in. Shand stood over her, head cocked while watching her. Alice fought against a giggle from erupting, the helmet the being was wearing made it look like a curious bird caught red handed in a spotlight.
Were they concerned? she wondered to herself.
Shand extended their purple gloved hand to her as she gasped from exhaustion. Alice grabbed the proffered hand. With a mighty heave, and a grunt from Shand, she stood unsteadily on her feet. Two of the soldiers rushed to her aid as she swayed on the spot, their rough armoured forms propping her up between them. Which two had helped her Alice didn’t know but nevertheless she voiced her thanks to them.
One of the group took the lead and began to head towards where they must have entered from. That must have been Doane, and Shand was the one following. She was easier to tell apart due to the holographic map being displayed on her wrist.
As they walked she looked at the aged remains of the carnage around her. Bodies and weapons strewn about the wreckage, no one left to bury them but entombed all the same in this bunker.
My father could be in here Alice realised as she slowly walked past an armoured skeleton wearing the stripes of a Sergeant draped over the remains of a concrete barrier.
They had still clung onto their rifle in a literal death grip, defending her as she had been frozen and slept. Guilt flushed through her at the sight of so many who had given themselves. Especially the Sergeant.
"Commander Yurisa. Could we stop for a moment please" asked Alice
The commander walked up to her, seeing her staring at the remains around her in the chamber.
"I think we can spare a minute or two" said Yurisa.
Alice gently removed the support of the two people who had been helping her and knelt in front of the Sergeant. An unsettling grin stared back at her through the smashed face plate of the helmet that once fitted. The unsettling truth suffused her being as she knelt. Days, or even months wouldn’t leave such a bare skeleton. This was years, decades at least. Alice looked around her at the other bodies lying around her, as if looking for any scrap of evidence that what she was realising couldn’t be true. All were beached with age, their tooth filled smiles laughing at the cosmic joke being played on her by the universe.
Looking away from the grim audience, she reached past the neck, briefly rummaging for the chain necklace she hoped would still be there. Gently lifting it past the skull, she dangled the rugged jewellery in front of her visor and attempted to read the dog tag hanging in the air. The thin slice of treated metal was caked in rust but even then it wasn't so far gone as to be illegible. Wiping the plate with her thumb, she read the name she had suspected it would say since seeing the rank of the remains.
Lockley.
The man who had rushed her to her pod so she could be where she was now. Alice bowed her head at the man she once knew. The man's armour may have been corroded with age but tradition was still tradition.
She reached out and disconnected his bulky left shoulder armour, the magnetic clamps still keeping it secure in place after so long. Placing it on top of her own civilian suit's lightly armoured shoulder with a light click, the piece looked completely out of place compared to the rest of her suit. A large dent in the centre showed where something had struck the late Sergeant as he had fought, perhaps an energy bolt or shrapnel from the fight. She rotated her shoulder, ensuring the piece wasn't interfering with movement or cumbersome. Satisfied it wasn’t, she then placed the dog tags back around the man's neck. The last thing she needed to take was his identity. The final thing he could keep.
Her deed done, she stood back up, looking around at the people she didn't realise had been staring at her.
"It was a tradition that started during the war" she said sheepishly. "You take the pauldron of whoever saved you if they died, that way you can carry them with you out of respect"
"That's a nice tradition" one of the soldiers she didn't know the name of yet said from behind her. One of the pair who had helped her. One who had been there when she had woken up. Which meant this must have been Hedi.
Alice chuckled slightly to herself as a sudden absurdity came to her. "Yeah but unfortunately I don't have enough shoulders right now for all the rest" she indicated with a sweep of her arms.
The group gave a few quiet sounds of amusement of their own, looking down at the ground or up at the ceiling rather than meeting her faceplate.
With a heavy sigh Alice willed herself to move. If she stayed any longer she would begin to lament on the lives lost for her and if she began that she may never leave.
Catching up with the awaiting Shand and Mannad, the group were led to a narrow maintenance utility shaft embedded into the wall. The cramped spaces twisted and turned as they took a winding path directed by shand.
The soldier Alice had not yet learned the name of was revealed to her when Iftan annoyed Mannad with an attempt at humour commenting on how it appeared to take longer to return the way they had come and if Shand had gotten them lost. Apparently Mannad had acute claustrophobia, however it was swiftly eased with a thump on the back of Iftan's helmet.
Alice smiled to herself at the thought of how soldiers were soldiers no matter what time or part of the universe you were from.

--- The Dream ---
Mia woke up to a noise in the basement she was not sure if she should go or not she was very scared to leave her room she got out of bed and got up and creeped to the door she quitly opened the door and looked out to see if there was anything out in the hallway as she walked to the stairs she seen the light on in the kitchen and she went quitly downstairs mia went and seen that the refrigerator was open there was blood in the refrigerator and intestines hanging from the shelf she was getting scared she didn't know what was happening she herd the noise in the basement as she went to the basement she seen that the light was on and that nobody was there she looked and had found a blood trail to the table in the back near the washer and dryer and she went to the table she seen a clear box on the table as she went and opened the lid to the clear box and she seen that it was filled with blood as she looked in the box she picked up the big wooden spoon next to the clear box and put the spoon in and stired and as she did Mia's head floated to the top as she screamed she turned around and seen a gir with a pumpkin smile she fell backwards and covered her face with her arms.
---- Awake ----
Mia woke up and was drenched in sweat she had a fearfully look on her face and did not know what to do she stayed up for the rest of the night beacuse she was afraid to go back to sleep she got up and went to her desk and turned on the light and got her art pencils and started to draw what she seen in her nightmare

It looked so real that she put it in a frame and Mia turned on the TV and watched M.A.S.H it was one of her favorite TV shows and she was wondering if she was going to see this thing in her dreams agian hopefully she won't be there but she had a bad feeling about it she seen that the sun was coming up it was 5:00 oclock am and her mom came in and seen her up as Mia's mom Dana asked her what is wrong she told her that she had a nightmare it was worse then the one that she usually has and Dana asked what that pic of the girl was Mia seid it was the thing that she seen in her nightmare she was scared and want to go to a therapist.
Dana told Mia that she is worried about her and that she was going to keep her home today and take her to the therapist to see what's wrong she was not sure if she's going to get any sleep tonight because of the nightmares she had she told her mom it felt real to her and she didn't know how to handle it so Dana told her before she gets a therapist she's going to take her to a sleep doctor to find out what's really going on Mia agreed to that so Dana and Mia got in the car with her picture and thay drove off to the clinic thay drove to Rosemont street and then turned left after Dana turned left she then drove down the street to the first 4 way interaction and then turn right thay went and got to the clinic and made a appointment for the doctor and the receptionist gave her a paper to fill out.
So she fill out the form and told thay seid it would be about minutes so Dana went outside and called her school and told and told them she won't be coming in today that she is I'll thay seid ok so she went in and the doctor came out and called mia in and her mom went with her the doctor told her to put the gown on and lay down on the bed to relax and she did as the doctor went into the other room to sit down her mom was there looking at the screen Mia fell asleep.
----Dream realm----
Mia herd a noise from downstairs in the basement agian she woke up and put her feet on the floor and quietly went to the door as she had tears running down her face and had her fingers in her mouth she walked downstairs slowly and quietly as she looked the lights where on in the kitchen again and Mia went into the kitchen to find out the refrigerator door was open again and she seen that there is blood and intestines in the fridge as she looked on the floor there was a blood trail going to the basement agian and this time there was a whole lot of it she backed up fast but she knew she was in the clinic and the doctor could see everything she See's so she went and got the broom handle and went and opened the basement door and slowly went down the stairs and seen that there is a lot of blood on the steps she started to show fear and started to cry.
----Back in the clinic----
Dana omg is this the night she told me about I can see why she is upset and scared.
Doctor I have had a lot of patience's before with nightmares but I never had a patient like this who actually had a nightmare that was gruesome and bloody like this intestines and blood coming from the fridge that's insane.
Dana yes it is she drew a picture of the monster in her dream she had brought it here with her.
Doctor omg this is creepy I don't know what to think of this.
----Back to the Dream realm----
Mia went downstairs in the basement and looked now there was body's hanging up from hooks and she saw that the clear bin was full of blood she back up to the wall and fell to the floor with tears in her eyes she was scared to open the box she knows what is in there and is scared to look again as she got up and went slowly to the box and opened the lid as she got the big wooden spoon she stired it and her head came up as the monster was behind her she turned around and hit it with the broom handle as it fell to the ground she ran to the stairs and went up and closed the door.
----the Awakening----
Doctor omg Mia calm down what was that monster and why was you head in the clear box with the blood in it.
Mia I don't know omg sob sob I don't know I am so scared I refuse to go to sleep I can't go to sleep sob sob.
Doctor oh dear me I have never seen this before I have never experienced something like this.
Dana this is what kept my daughter up and this poor girl is scared shitless of this how do we stop this please doctor.
Mia what if I let the monster get me sob sob it's a dream what if that is the only way to end it sob sob sob sniff.
Dana no don't do that.
Mia mom I can't stay up all night every night I need to rest my body will die if I don't rest.
Doctor she is right what is the harm of it it's a dream.
Dana just please don't die on me please your my baby girl.
Mia I will mom sniff sniff I am sorry mom.
So thay went home and Dana ordered some food as thay waited Mia told her mom that it's going to be hurtful to do this she knew she was scared because she was shacking and in fear of this thing.
5 minutes later
The food got there and Mia and Dana ate after Mia ate she went upstairs and got a bath going for her and she got her clothes and went in the tub she scrubbed herself up good and cleaned her self as she did the dead skin came off and she felt better after she drained her water she stood up and got a towel and dryed off she then went got her clothes on and went to bed.
----The Dream realm----
Mia took a deep breath and thought it was just a dream and that it's going to be ok so she went downstairs and went downstairs to the basement she then went and taken the clear plastic bin and pushed it on the washer and dryer she taken her clothes off and then put and drop her clothes she went and layed down on the table and waited for the monster to come as she waited she herd a noise from behind the hanging carpet and sheets it was the monster of the dreams as she did not look the monster seen Mia laying there.
Monster what are you doing girl.
??? My name is Mia I am sniff sniff offering my body to be eaten by you.
Monster my name is pumpkin Girl and why are you wanting me to eat you.
Mia is that not how this ends pumpkin Girl
Pumpkin Girl no why would I eat myself.
Mia what do you mean eat yourself no your supposed to eat me I am your dinner I am supposed to be eaten by you to end this.
Pumpkin Girl no I can't eat you I will die and you will still be alive I love this look and I don't want to lose it .
Mia so what I not going to be eaten by you so I taken off my Pikachu nitewere just so you will tell me I can't be eaten I came her to be eaten now eat me.
Pumpkin Girl are you fucking crazy.
Mia well I still be alive in the real world if you ate me.
Pumpkin Girl yes .
Mia well you eat me then I won't bug you to do this and you can leave just please so I feel better in the real world.
Pumpkin Girl for heaven sakes fine I will eat you just stop this harping and I will leave after this will that make you happy.
Mia yes very much.
Pumpkin Girl ok fine here we go.
So pumpkin Girl start to eat Mia and she screamed in pain as she died in her dream she was being eaten by herself as she was told and she tore Mia apart.
----The Awakening----
Mia it feels like it's over I think I stopped it sniff omg that is so great I think I can rest easy now so she went downstairs and looked around to find that things felt ok and she finally got the feeling it was going to be ok and not a nightmare she felt a lot of relief from all of that she seen her mom in the kitchen and she went up and gave her a big hug and told her she thinks tit will be ok and she might be able to get some rest she told her mom she wants to go to school tomorrow she asked her if she was sure and Mia seid yes Dana told it was ok she went and told her she is going to lay down for the rest of the day and her mom told her ok she went upstairs and went to her room and laid down and went to sleep till morning.
----Next morning----
Mia got up and got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen table and she felt good as dana seen that her daughter was feeling good she herd the bus pull up and she taken her breakfast and ate on the bus.

Shady's back, tell a friend. Guess who's back, guess who's back.
Anyway, yeah. I'm back for the ten people or probably less that have the attention span to get through this monstrosity, I'm back.
Back again.
Ok, thats enough of the joke. I'll post the next part of chapter four tomorrow, and hopefully I can get back on track with it. Enjoy-
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Chapter Four
Eventful Events
“-ubber flobber glibber gobbler-” A was cut off.
“I’m sorry, what?” The stranger tilted their head.
They were likely a man by their voice, but you could never really tell.
“What do you mean, ‘what?’?” A asked in kind.
“What kind of swear was that?” The newcomer sounded confused.
“Nevermind that, what even are YOU?” A got to his feet. “I’m fairly sure that any sane worker drone wouldn’t have come anywhere near us, and since K and X haven’t killed you, I would like to know.” A questioned.
“Well sir, I was just telling you-” K began.
“I’m the one talking right now, shut up.” A waved dismissively at K, who shrank down to a meager size.
“Uh, I’m me.” The stranger suggested.
“Yes, I can see that, but what ARE you, specifically.” A insisted.
“Uh, I’m somebody, or something, you never know.” The newcomer was dodging the question.
“Alright, I’m done.” A retracted his hand, a gun taking its place, before aiming it directly at the person’s face.
“Okay, alright!” The unknown person put up their hands. “Calm down. I’m a human.”
A didn’t lower his gun. “That's a lie.”
K intervened, stepping in between the stranger and A. “It's true sir. He was the origin of the distress signal.”
A fixed K with a withering stare, who bravely didn’t back down.
“Sir! You said it yourself that the possibility of a human being there was possible!” K exclaimed.
A scoffed. “Well I didn’t mean it! That was just to get both of you up and away from here.”
“Well sir, it appears that the mission has borne a rather precious fruit.” K gestured towards the person, who gave a little wave.
“As a certified me, I can certainly say that I’m me, which is also a human.” The apparent human stated.
A’s mind just fogged with confusion. “Uh, what?”
“You heard me.” The person didn’t elaborate.
“You know what? You must be a human, because you just said the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” A lowered his gun, shaking his head.
Suddenly, with a yelp of surprise, the human was pushed down to the floor, landing on shaky feet.
“Oh nice.” The human murmured.
X then leapt through the opening, nearly squashing K. “Wassup, I’m back. Who died?”
A shook his head again. “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”
“Not me!” The human spoke up.
A looked back at the human, remembering something.
“What's your name again?” A asked.
“Oh, I’m Jacob. I’m kinda the resident important person here.” Jacob’s hands strayed towards his chest, as if to adjust a tie, only to remember that he wasn’t wearing a tie, so they just folded themselves across his chest.
A let a moment of silence sound through the pod. “OK, why don’t you take off your helmet?”
Jacob shook his head. “Can’t take it off.”
“Why?” A inquired.
“Toxic atmosphere.” Jacob explained.
“Oh, yeah. Well, can you just make the visor clear?” A suggested.
“I don’t know how to do that, I just got this thing after all.” Jacob shrugged.
“You just got it? What were you doing here anyway?” A’s eyes narrowed in suspicion yet again.
K stepped in again to defuse the situation. “Listen, sir. We can all explain this, if you just give us time.”
A stared back at her, who shook slightly under the beam.
“Well then, get started.” A sat down. “We’ve got time.”
* * *
“Ugh, what's that scratching noise?”
A pair of drones walked along a mostly intact pathway covered in rubble and snow, lighting up the darkness with built-in lights.
“That would be ice building up in our armor, I think.” The second drone answered.
“Really? You know how to get rid of it?” The first drone asked.
The second drone shook her head. “Nah, we can’t. Trust me, I’ve tried before, and while I can get the surface level ice, the stuff that coalesces in between the chinks is too deep to get out.”
“Just use something sharp and thin then.” The first drone suggested.
“Where can I find something sharp and thin, Carl?” The second drone replied.
“I dunno, somewhere on the ground, I guess.” Carl looked around the floor, searching.
“You’d be surprised at how hard it is to find something thin enough to fit in between our armor plates around here, and rubble doesn’t really match specifications.” The second drone kicked a rock into a small crater.
“Nobodys got any knives or something?” Carl questioned.
“You think we have knives? Anything that isn’t a nanoblade will only be useful for cooking, and since we don’t even have kitchens, that's out of the question. And nanoblades are impractical, one minute you’re flipping the blade around in your hand, and the next your hand is on the ground, cut clean through.” The second drone explained. “That's why we don’t have them, they’ll slice anything off that isn’t an artificial experimental alloy.”
“I know that, but you would think somebody would have something. What about a pencil?” Carl stopped walking for a moment.
“Pencils will just break, and keep walking, we gotta hurry up.” The second drone motioned for Carl to resume movement.
“Alright, fine. But the moment we finish our shift, I’m going around to see if anybody has something, and we’ll see who has the last laugh, Damina.” Carl glared at Damina.
“Yeah, alright.” She replied.
The pair walked in silence for a few seconds.
“By the way, you ever hear about that Sterl guy?” Carl spoke up again.
“Who?” Damina asked.
“You know, Sterl. He’s one of the only people who survived one of those hunter drones attacking him.” Carl explained.
“So that's what we're calling them? Hunter drones?” Damina said in a dry tone.
“What else would we call them? Killer drones?” Carl stared pointedly at Damina.
“Well I guess the name fits, hunter drones. But I feel like it doesn’t really match their . . .” Damina trailed off.
“Their what?” Carl insisted.
“Their aura.” Damina finished.
“Their aura? THAT'S what you're going with?” Carl said.
“It's the best word I could use. ‘Hunter’ just feels really underwhelming I guess.” Damina shrugged.
“Well, what would you suggest? I’m open to them.” Carl inquired.
“Uh, you’re kinda putting me on the spot here.” Damina scratched her head.
“Take your time.” Carl replied.
“Uh, maybe, murder drones?” Damina suggested, not letting the credits roll just yet.
“Murder drones.” Carl deadpanned.
“Yes.” Damina confirmed.
“Murder drones?” Carl repeated.
“Uh, yes?” Damina sounded more unsure.
“You really think that's better?” Carl questioned.
“I dunno, you didn’t really give me a lot of time to come up with one.” Damina defended herself.
“Hunter drones are better, I’m saying it right now.” Carl crossed his arms.
“Okay, fine, it's better.” Damina relented. “But what about, uh, reaper drones?”
Carl tilted his head in thought, so Damina continued.
“You know, because they only strike from the shadows, and when they come, they only cause death.” Damina clarified.
Carl slowly nodded. “Alright, I’ll give you that, that is a much cooler sounding name, but it's too poetic.”
“TOO, poetic?” Damina asked.
“Yeah, too poetic.” Carl confirmed. “I mean, yeah, they are pretty deadly, but we can’t really be calling those things reapers, can we?”
Damina grunted. “Back then, they used to call early attack drones reapers.”
“What? They did? How do you even know that?” Carl said in a surprised tone.
Damina shrugged. “I must’ve heard it somewhere.”
“Is that even real? I mean, how long ago are we talking here? A few decades, or a few centuries? Attack drones have been around for a really long time, I need specifications.” Carl questioned.
“Like, a thousand years, I think.” Damina explained.
“A thousand years!” Carl exclaimed. “You’re trying to tell me that we got information out of the ancient dark ages!?”
Damina shrugged again. “Yeah, pretty much.”
Carl shook his head. “You’re crazy.”
Damina scoffed. “Whatever. Come on, we need to get moving.”
* * *
Silence filled the pod.
A sat in a chair, arms crossed, eyes staring in the general direction of Jacob, who was sitting directly across from him. K looked around nervously, while Jacob just seemed confused. X had left the pod at some point to go jump off a rooftop for something, doing whatever thing he did to pass the time.
A had listened to K, X, and Jacob explain their small adventure, with K doing most of the talking, because X just told straight up lies most of the time, like claiming that they had found a whole farm of enslaved tornados who were aptly named, “Whiggers” and that they had participated in the freeing of those tornados from enslavement, establishing a new state in the middle east for them afterwards. Jacob was forced out of the explanation because the majority of his speech consisted of, “Uh”, “Um”, “Like so”, “You see”, “Kinda”, and multiple backtracks because he had forgotten to say something important. So, it was only reasonable to just shut up before he embarrassed himself any further, the goddamn idiot.
Finally, K spoke up.
“So, what do you think sir?”
A glanced up at K. “What do I think?”
K squirmed under his gaze. “Er, yes sir.”
A sat up in his chair. “Well, I think that it's a miracle that the human is still somehow alive.”
“Some would say otherwise.” Jacob interjected.
“I feel halfway partial to just calling it all a lie and putting a bullet through this guy’s head.” A ignored the comment.
“I’m . . . not sure if that is the right course of action, sir.” K replied.
A scoffed. “It's a figure of speech, K, calm down.”
K blinked. “Oh, uh, sorry sir.”
“And stop saying sorry so much, it's annoying me.” A added.
“Yes sir, sorry sir.” K said quickly.
A shook his head, before looking at Jacob. “And what are we going to do with you?”
Jacob shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.”
A leaned forward. “Don’t you humans have to eat regularly to stay alive?”
“I have to take my helmet off to eat, and I’m not really sure that’s a good idea.” Jacob explained.
“Hmm, I see.” A leaned back, deep in thought.
This proved to be a problem, since the survival of the human was paramount to A and his squad’s success. When the distress signal had come through, A had taken an arguably large gamble on it. He had sent the majority of his team out to investigate an unknown signal, when they could’ve spent those days and nights grinding for extra credit.
While some might think that a few days shouldn’t have made a difference, the reality was much harsher. With a whole planet full of competing teams, all vying for control, one had to remain constantly vigilant and active to stay up top. While most of the time in a standard squads lives were spent just cutting down the occasional worker drone that was foolish enough to go outside, which happened quite often, sometimes they would crack open a bunker, which was more than enough to boost them to the peak of the leaderboard.
One wouldn’t even have to tackle a whole bunker, if they so desired. They could just put in overtime hours, spending night after night slaughtering any drone who had stumbled into danger, rapidly clearing out a zone empty of all life, save for the ones that caused it. This could bear a great number of points if it was executed correctly, and while it was time and energy consuming, it was very effective.
So far, A’s team had been doing neither, just killing the stray worker drone that stumbled in their path every now and then, which is what most squads did, just to a higher extent. This was causing them to lag behind, as stated earlier. Also stated earlier, the recent destruction of the local worker drone bunker had boosted them up high into the rankings, but it wasn’t meant to last. And if their scores weren’t up to par, disassembly for themselves was an option.
But now, through some stroke of magnificent luck, A had been thrown a lifeline in the form of the adolescent human boy sitting across from him. If no other humans were hiding in some small nook or cranny around the planet, then that would make Jacob the last living human on the entire planet. Even an idiot could tell you that that arguably made him the most important thing for miles, which made Jacob’s earlier statement somewhat true. If A and his squad were able to somehow return Jacob to the company’s hands, then they would likely be rewarded a large amount of points for their innovative and smart behavior, shooting them up through the ranks until nothing could challenge them for a while.
And so, that made the consequences for failure even higher.
If Jacob were to die, or even suffer from some sort of severe injury, then the blame would lie at their feet. They would be blamed for any and all harm that came to the human, and would be punished accordingly. They likely wouldn’t even know they had been punished, as their memories probably would’ve been scrapped as well.
All in all, A was taking yet another big gamble. They had very high rewards, since if they could place Jacob back into company hands, they would be set. However, they had high risk as well, since they had to keep him in perfect condition along the way, like a small, delicate package that was prone to breaking. A was willing to take that risk, since frankly, he saw no other option. They were too deep in to back out, even if they wanted to. Abandoning Jacob to the elements would garner an even harsher punishment than if they had tried to protect him and failed.
And so, A now had to devise a way to keep Jacob perfectly well, and that began with a rather pressing issue.
“Hey, kid-” A began.
“Name’s Jacob.” Jacob interrupted.
“Uh, I know.” A continued. “Kid, listen, do you even have anything to eat at all?”
Jacob pulled out a shiny silvery package from an armored pocket. “Yep, this here.”
“Are you sure that's edible?” A didn’t relent.
“Uh, yeah. It says, ‘RATION’ on the side so it probably is.” Jacob replied.
“And it's not expired?” A inquired.
“No, it isn’t. I’m good, I have tons of food, it's fine man, calm down.” Jacob tilted his head to the side, before pocketing the ration bar.
A grunted. “What about water?”
Jacob froze. “Uh, I dunno.”
“You thought to take ‘tons of food’ but didn’t take any sort of form of hydration.” It wasn’t a question.
“Erm, yes.” Jacob fidgeted.
A facepalmed. “Do you know WHERE you can get any water?”
Jacob shrugged. “Snow? Ice?”
“The snow and ice on this planet likely contains copious amounts of toxic gasses.” A stated.
“Well what do you want me to say, that I just pulled a random depot of fresh water from nowhere?” Jacob complained.
“Well I don’t know, I figured that the ‘hyper-intelligent’ and ‘oh-so-smart’ human would’ve thought to bring some goddamn water.” A replied, annoyed.
“Well I didn’t think a few days ago that I would be trekking through a freezing wasteland!” Jacob cried out.
“Speaking of, what were you doing a few days ago? I doubt that you were ‘just chilling’ in a cryo pod that failed to break down when every other one did.” A’s eyes narrowed yet again.
“Well I just was! That's the truth of it, kind of . . .” Jacob trailed off.
A felt his opportunity. “Continue.”
“Besides, I’m pretty sure that you aren’t cleared for that information.” Jacob finished.
A inwardly cursed. Once Jacob had subtly implied that there was something more to the story than what he had let on, A had believed that he would be able to get some more out of him, maybe even deducing what made the kid so important. A wasn’t gonna believe for a second that Jacob had just happened to stumble upon a facility full of autonomous guards that had just somehow happened to decide to protect him with their lives, while finding the sole fully-operational cryo pod on the planet, and just so happened to survive for a good amount of time while everybody else died. And the fact that A had received the distress signal on a government transmitter that had just so happened to be placed in their ship made Jacob even more suspicious.
Multiple things weren’t adding up, which is why A had jumped at the chance to wring Jacob dry of any more information he could get. But, A hadn’t expected him to pull out the ‘Classified Information” card. While it did confirm that something bigger was going on behind the scenes, A was now effectively neutered in his future chances to learn, because since he now knew that the information he was searching for was behind higher clearance, continuing his search would be a clear breach of company protocol. Breaching company protocol, like many other things, leads to a rather bad chance of living.
A leaned back in his chair, contemplating his next course of action. He first had to find a breathable atmosphere for Jacob, as well as finding an uncontaminated source of water. Next, and perhaps the most difficult of all, A had to somehow get Jacob off planet. Some very high orders for his little squad.
“How long can humans go without needing food or water?” A questioned.
“Uh, I can’t remember exactly, but I think that if I don’t have any sort of water, then I’ll die within three days.” Jacob answered.
A cursed yet again. Three days wasn’t a time frame big enough to get a source of reliable water in this wasteland.
K coughed politely. “Uh, if I may, sir.”
A’s gaze shot to K. “What?”
“Well, we could scavenge.” K suggested.
“I’m fairly sure that I could’ve come up with that myself.” A replied.
“Oh, uh, sorry sir.” K backed down.
A, in fact, hadn’t come up with that himself, for some odd reason. It seemed like the only viable course of action, and yet he hadn’t even given it a modicum of thought. Strange, but not important.
A stood up. “Well, I guess that's settled. X,” X looked back up from his little thumb game. “You’re going with K.”
“To do what?” X asked, confused.
“Of course you weren’t listening. You’re going to try and find some water for the human.” A answered.
“What!? I don’t wanna do that, why can’t she do it by herself!?” X cried out, pointing at K.
“Because in your absence, I’ve found that I rather like having both of you away from me. And plus, the more the merrier.” A pointed at the exit. “And you’re going right now.”
The night was still hanging ever-present over the planet, a fact made clear by X’s careful inspection from his undesirable point of view.
X opened his mouth to protest further, but the act was cut off by A.
“And that's final.” A glared at X. “Understand?”
X scoffed. “Alright man, fine. No need to get all worked up.”
A turned to K. “Anything you want to say?”
K seemed caught off guard. “Oh, uh, no sir, I’m fine.”
A nodded. “Good. Now off you go.”
Jacob watched the pair leave the pod with a watchful gaze.
A turned towards Jacob.
“Now what do you want me to do?” Jacob asked.
“Now that's the big question.” A replied. “I’ve never really had a human with me.”
“Well, I’m not really gonna just sit here, doing nothing.” Jacob stated.
“You might have to deal with it.” A dryly replied.
The two stared at each other in silence for a moment.
“Listen man, how about we talk?” Jacob broke the silence.
A’s LED screen formed an eyebrow and raised it. “About what?”
Jacob was a bit unnerved by the display A’s face just did, but pressed on. “I dunno.”
“I’m not giving a suggestion.” A said.
Jacob thought for a moment. “Well, those guys that just left didn’t really tell me a lot about what’s really going on, so how about that?”
A pondered on the notion. He was tempted to turn it into an exchange of information, but that would still be a violation of policy, and he wasn’t sure if the human would even oblige. And plus, he didn’t really see that issue with giving out that kind of information, as it would even endear Jacob to A, which might pay off in the long run.
“Alright, I can do that.” A agreed.
“Oh nice.” Jacob replied.
“So, it all started with . . .”
* * *
The clacking of the keyboard.
A familiar sound to anyone living within the modern era, or anyone past the 1990s. Commonplace in areas such as work offices, accounting offices, home offices, government offices, probably a lot more offices, and gaming rooms that were only occupied with hunch-backed teenagers who were chronically online. Or maybe just avid fan fiction writers, you never know.
However, those that weren’t accustomed to the fast-paced rapid clicking of buttons would often find the sound annoying or unrestful, especially when the area was overly silent. In this case, a duo were inside a small tent, lit only by the glow of a computer screen, with a robot sat over the keyboard, typing away at the device with the surety of a slight breeze; soft, yet clearly ever-present. The second robot was currently sitting in another chair that was on the other side of the room, trying to fall asleep. But, it appeared as though that they weren’t a fan of the constant noise, deafening in the silence of the night.
Groaning, the second drone called out to the one at the computer.
“Ugh, man, keep it down.” He whispered.
“What do you expect me to do? Type slower? I wanna get this done as soon as possible.” The first drone replied, also whispering.
“Just be quieter, I’m tryna sleep here.” The second drone murmured.
“Why are you sleeping!? You’re supposed to be awake and watching, not dozing off!” The first drone whisper-yelled back.
“You’re awake right now, so it's fine.” The second drone waved his hand.
“No it’s not! I could be stabbed by one of those hunters when my back is turned and you’re asleep!” The first drone exclaimed quietly.
“Don’t care.” The second drone laid back in his chair.
“You know what, Frant!? Get up here, this’ll keep you awake.” The first drone called to Frant.
“No, lemme go to sleep.” Frant replied sleepily.
“Get up here, before I report you, and then you’ll be sleeping forever.” The first drone narrowed his eyes.
This proved to wake up Frant to the fullest extent, causing him to shoot upwards in his seat.
“Are you serious Carme!?” Frant spat between clenched teeth.
“Just come over here, it’ll keep you awake.” Carme ignored the question.
Frant obliged, stomping over to Carme, leaning over his shoulder to see the glowing screen.
“What are you even doing here?” Frant inquired.
“I’m reviewing our files to make sure nothing got lost in the transition.” Carme answered.
“What if something did get lost?” Frant continued.
“Then I notify the experts.” Carme simply replied.
“Uh, okay then.” Frant pulled his seat over, plopping down next to Carme. “Why’d they have to assign me to watch? Couldn’t they have just gotten a soldier to do it?”
Carme shrugged. “They’re spread too thin, the military’s having a hard enough time already trying to maintain a proper perimeter. Watching over the workers would be asking for numbers they don’t have.”
Frant nodded. “I guess that makes sense.” Frant then paused to think. “Hey, why do you know all this stuff anyway?”
“They sent it in a memo.” Carme handed a sheet of paper to Frant, who took it.
Frant skimmed over the paper, taking in all the essential bits.
“You get it now?” Carme looked over his shoulder at Frant.
Frant nodded again. “Yeah, but why didn’t I get this?”
Carme shrugged yet again. “You probably did.”
“Huh.” Frant scratched the back of his head, before squinting at a document on the computer. “Uh, what's that?”
Carme followed Frant’s gaze to the icon on the screen. The file in question was an innocuous little folder that simply read, “DO NOT OPEN WITHOUT PROPER AUTHORIZATION” which was a bit dramatic.
Carme and Frant looked at each other, before settling their focus back on the screen.
“. . . you wanna open it or something?” Frant suggested.
Carme thought for a moment, before shrugging for the hundredth time in a minute. “I’m down.”
Carme moved the cursor over to the icon, double clicking it. The page entered a loading phase, with nothing but a blank screen to greet them for a moment before it opened the file. Inside was a document that had several pages, with the first one having some rather disturbing text.
“‘DO NOT LET ROBOTS READ, THEY WILL NOT LIKE IT’? Why? What does that even mean?” Frant asked no one in particular.
“Probably to make sure robots don’t read it.” Carme answered.
“Yeah, I get it. Scroll down, I wanna see the rest.” Frant leaned in, completely disregarding the warning.
Carme obliged, scrolling down to the first page which had more large, bold text, which read, “NO SERIOUSLY, WE MEAN IT”.
Carme and Frant scrolled down to the next page, which also had more text, which said, “ALRIGHT THEN, JUST MAKING SURE THIS TIME”.
Scrolling down to what would hopefully be the last page with warnings on it, Carme and Frant gazed upon the holy scriptures, which now read, “YOU WOULD THINK THAT WE WOULD PUT A TEST IN HERE TO MAKE SURE YOU AREN’T A ROBOT, BUT THEY DIDN’T GIVE US ENOUGH BUDGET FOR THAT”
Frant groaned. “What is this guy’s deal? Just let us through.”
Carme scrolled past the warning, finally arriving at a page which had something other than a loud warning. A logo could be seen at the top, proclaiming whatever they were to the few that could read the document.
“What is, ‘JCJenson, IN SPAAAAACEE!!!!’?” Frant asked, squinting at the computer.
“I dunno.” Carme shrugged, goddamn man, stop shrugging.
“I thought you knew everything?” Frant looked at Carme.
“I just pay attention, nothing else, and nothing I’ve seen mentions that.” Carme gestured towards the screen.
“Whatever, keep scrolling.” Frant looked back at the display.
Carme and Frant looked on at the screen, scrolling slowly so that they could both see. As they read, their expressions went from curious, to confused, to disturbed, to confused again. The strange document was filled with strange labels and diagrams that just didn’t make sense to either of them, displaying graining images of what appeared to be a drone, with some . . . interesting . . . additions.
“What the hell is a zombie drone?” Carme asked, LED eyebrows furrowed.
* * *
​
​
Again, I'm gonna post the second part tomorrow, and after that it'll take about a week to finish the fifth chapter. This will hopefully be segmented into three parts instead of four like that last one that was more than two, but no promises. Reddit character capacity is a cruel mistress. Hopefully I'll have more free time on my hands going forward, and maybe I will. See y'all.

So, let me introduce myself. I am a member of major pirate org, we do ship captures, interdictions, you name it. Amongst that is JT. Every single one.
We take over the Jumptown with ground team, logistics team and air team, air team dealing with fighters and bombers, ground team dealing with ships that get through utilizing ballistas, novas and handheld railguns. Logistics team loads and hauls. Multi-crew, team play, communication, everything. Clockwork. We easily deal with entire server, even if organized groups of players attack us. Tho this JT we made 10 million between 30 people. How? 1. One or both of drug dispensers stop working, causing the entire group to do a 1-2 hour long relocation and capture of JT on another shard. Happens about twice a day. 2. Ships explode when entering hangar. Lost more then 30 million worth of aUEC just today. 3. Player character desync/invisibility bug. Hard to fight infantry that teleports all over the place in an enclosed space, slowing down the entire process. 4. 30k. More then 4 ships filled with 50+ boxes teleported to orison is fun, not talking about entire group moving and having to capture the JT on another server. 5. Invisible ship/desync, missile desync. Invisible ships are hard to fight, especially if it’s A2. Desyncing, teleporting arrow is lets just say hard…. To hit. Eclipse s9s unusable due to launch being delayed by about 3 seconds, and with current speed need they never reach the target anyway. If something is not standing still, it won’t hit. And sometimes it won’t hit a still target. Missiles are just crazy in general, being a roll of a dice, rather then a skill-dependent weapon. They can just miss a still target too, for unknown reasons. 6.The “full Desync of death” Where you get pretty much completely disconnected, but still ingame. Cant exit seat, can’t operate ship, can’t do anything, input bandwidth spiking to 10mbps, and staying there. Other players report their own “parallel worlds” For example today I’ve been sitting in a cutlass waiting to be loaded, when we got attacked by two titans.For me there were no titans. For other player they were there, for other player they were somewhere around Grim Hex. Same player names. Then I ordered my org mate to kill me and deliver the cargo, he did so and couldn’t get into the seat even tho I was dead next to it. When I held backspace, he reported the ship initiating self destruct even though in my game I was well, alive, and no self destruct. Watching his discord at this moment he frantically tried to deactivate the SD while a titan was shooting the ship, tho not doing damage, and pressing backspace second time for me did nothing. And for him too. In the end: cutlass self-destructed, with 320 boxes of maze, and more then two hours of people moving the boxes. 7. Kits When you go out as a pirate you want to have good armor and weapons. Tho every time I do that, I lose the entire thing to one bug or another. Getting stuck in textures, blowing up when touching the forcefield of the hangar, losing any way to control the ship during descent due to a major lagspike that lasts multiple minutes, or just slow-warping under planet surface, you name it. Just off the top of my head.
I can continue the list, but I think you get the point. At this point we are not fighting other players, npcs or eniviroment. We are fighting endless bugs. At this point we as an org spend more time avoiding bugs and planning for them(doesn’t work) then actually planning the operation. And it usually ends with not us being gloriously vaporized by an A2 bomb, being sent to kleshier, but to some kind of bug or sever going into the “full desync of death” for most of us. I would not post this if there would be any gameplay loop that would be playable. But if you can’t go to A, load boxes, and deliver them to B without encountering a bug that physically prevents you from doing that, that’s where you realize you have an issue.
This is an outcry towards CIG We want to play the game, we just can’t.
Feel free to copy/paste/repost/report to IC/add, so on.

The episode resumed with a shot of the Final Two holding the effigies their helpers had made as Chef wheeled the person formerly in a hazmat suit in a wheelchair, their suit traded in for a full body cast.
Izzy spoke up. "Are we actually going to throw our dummies into an active volcano without any safety? That sounds lethal, even for me."
"As the saying goes, 'No excruciating pain, no million dollar gain'," Chris told her, pulling out a briefcase as a reminder then promptly tossing it away. "To help you get those dummies to the top of the volcano, you can use the rewards your teams earned on your behalf in the Aftermath Lava Surfing challenge," he continued.
"Ezekiel won a wheelbarrow. Too bad he's out," he said, the camera panning the host at the base of the volcano as the wheelbarrow rolled down next to the host, "but Mal gets a baby stroller," the stroller rolled down next to the wheelbarrow, "and Izzy gets diddly squat."
"What?" Mal gaped.
"Mal," Chris said, "for winning the effigy challenge, you get a twenty-second head start. So, get going!"
"Toodles," Mal said, running off with the wooden statue in his arms.
"At least this dummy's light," Izzy said, carrying it in her arms.
Mal tossed his dummy into his baby stroller as soon as he came to Chris, then ran up the slope chuckling as it did not break.
Chris watched him go with his usual smile, then turned to watch Izzy as she walked up. "Shouldn't I have the wheelbarrow if Ezekiel's not competing?" Izzy said.
"Sure, why not?" Chris said, watching Izzy put her dummy in her wheelbarrow and push it up the hill.
\
The scene cut to Mal running up the mountainside path at a decent rate. "It's been a long ride," he told himself, "but I'm going to claim the prize and live life comfortably!"
\
The camera panned down to Izzy, still pushing her effigy up the slope and panting heavily. "Why am I getting tired now of all places?" she said to herself.
"Having trouble?" Mal called out mockingly. "Maybe if you continue to run like a freak of nature, you might get to the top in time to see me win the money. But I doubt it!" he laughed, running off again.
The path soon leveled off, he passed a few bushes, then saw what was ahead and frantically skidded to a halt. He stopped right on the edge of a bubbling lava pool. "What the inferno?" he asked, the camera getting an overhead shot of the lava right before it flared up, forcing Mal to dive away with his rather flammable dummy.
Chris chuckled off-screen, and the camera zoomed out to show him and Chef standing on the other side of the lava lake. "Yoo hoo, over he~ere!" he called in a light and airy voice, waving to the malice filled man. A series of stepping stones spanned the gap between the two sides, but hanging over it from a large wooden frame were several heavy objects: from the left to right were a log, a grand piano, a safe, a simple weight, a purple armchair, a metal cage, and a bomb. The ropes holding the objects in the air ran along the framework and down to a structure near Chris and Chef, where each individual rope was tied around a long log.
"Check out the look on his face," Chris told his assistant as the camera zoomed in on them and the two men high-fived.
Izzy finally arrived at the other end of the lava pool, stopping when she saw it. "Now what?" she said in awed disbelief.
"The only way to the top of the volcano," Chris said as the camera panned across a close-up of the stepping stones, "is past this river of lava," he pointed down at the bubbling rock as the camera reached him again. "Those rewards probably won't be too helpful," he added, Mal and Izzy frowning as they stood by with their respective dummies.
"All you have to do is hop across these stepping stones," the host continued, moving over closer to the end of the path. "Easy-peasy, hot and cheesy!" he said as the lava flared up again. "Buu~uut," he added impishly as the camera panned across the hanging objects, "we've rigged a few booby traps to, that's right!"
"Make things more interesting," the two finished in annoyance.
"Chef," Chris turned to his assistant, "a booby demo, if you please!"
Chef took out a machete then turned around and chopped the first rope. The freed end quickly slid back through the wooden frame, and the log dropped onto the first stepping stone, broke, and fell into the lava with a burst of flame and a splatter of molten rock. Izzy raised an eyebrow and Mal gasped in surprise.
"Yeah, you really don't want to get hit by those," Chris told them. "Your helpers can either keep them secure," he continued, turning around and motioning to the two pairs that were standing by the tied-up ropes, "or send them falling. It's your call. Aaaand, go!"
Mal got moving first, picking up his dummy out of the stroller and running from stone to stone. Izzy lagged behind, but she still kept up.
"Chop the ropes! Now!" Mal commanded, and the shot cut over to Noah, Eva, Sky, and Shawn on the far side of the river.
"Team E-Scope, don't let them win!" Izzy cried out.
"Hold on!" Sky stopped everyone. "I don't want to fight anyone, or help out Mal."
"Me too," Shawn agreed. "I'm just here because I have too."
"I said cut the ropes!" Mal shouted forcefully.
"You two are right. Let's leave them at each other's throats," Noah said.
"Or better yet, we sabotage Mal," Eva offered.
"I'm already ahead of you!" Shawn grinned and grabbed a machete. He chopped down the rope holding the couch, and Mal took notice and jumped onto the next stone.
"Don't even think about messing with me!" Mal growled.
"Can't hear you!" Shawn mocked him as he cut a series of ropes. A bank vault, piano, and cage all fell down, but Mal effortlessly avoided all of them and eventually made it to the end.
"How were you able to avoid all of those?" Noah wondered. "That cage should've contained you."
"Mike's personalities can come in handy. I'll be taking my leave now," Mal laughed and made his way to the volcano.
Izzy reached the four helpers. "Welp, that was a bust," she griped.
"Don't just stand around complaining," Eva said. "Go to the volcano."
"And what about you guys?" Izzy asked.
"We'll catch up with you two with the helicopter Chris drove us here in," Sky added.
Izzy's face turned into determination. "Here I go! Time to stop the biggest, most baddest villain in TD history!" She let out a battlecry and dashed hastily towards the volcano.
\
The scene changed to a long-distance upward shot of the volcano, soon cutting to the top as the camera panned across the non-competitors, gathered in a sweaty and sweltering mass on the rim of the volcano's crater.
An upward pan of Chris holding the million-dollar suitcase revealed him standing happily in a cool breeze, the shot zooming out to show it being caused by a giant electric fan blowing air over a large ice cube being held on an intern's back. Several more ice cubes were stacked around the area, and were already beginning to melt.
"So...," Chris said to Chef, the pilot standing beside him, "know of any season three wrap parties?"
Chef didn't answer, and instead averted his gaze and walked away whistling in a very suspicious manner.
Chris frowned at him, but his expression quickly changed to excitement as he looked out over the edge of the volcano. "And here they come!" he announced as Mal was shown racing up the path with his dummy.
The shot cut to the edge of the crater as the dummy was thrown up first, followed by the villain leaping up with a dark smile on his face. He caught the dummy and grinned even more.
"Looking for this?" Chris asked as the shot cut to the million dollar case.
Mal let out a dry chuckle as he made his way to the edge of the crater.
"Stop right there!" Izzy's voice said, causing him to pause and turn around mid-way.
"Izzy," Mal said as the camera cut to the girl at the roof of the crater next to her dummy. "Can't you see I'm about to beat you? Just spare us the trouble and let me win!"
"If there's anyone who deserves to be competing against me, it should be Mike!" Izzy argued back.
"Mike is nothing to me!" Mal shouted furiously. "He should be the one left behind, not me!" That was when he inhaled sharply as his head got closer to the camera.
\
Suddenly, Mal began falling and landing in the pink grounds of Mike's brain.
"Urgh." Mal grunted before his eyes widened and he saw that his tower was practically rubble at this point. "Impossible. Where's my tower?" Mal asked furiously.
"It's gone Mal. It's gone for good," Mike smirked victoriously as he entered, much to Mal's anger.
"How were you able to push that button? I had that reinforced so your puny arms could not penetrate it," Mal asked angrily.
"I'm not half as weak as you think I am. It's time to end this," Mike glared at the evil alter who smirked fiendishly.
"Very well," Mal said with sadistic glee, "This should only take ten seconds." Soon, Mal and Mike charged at each other fiercely and began punching and kicking each other with so much ferocity.
\
Meanwhile, at the top of the volcano, Mike and Mal were having such a gigantic fight that Mike's body was thrashing itself violently much to everyone's horror.
"What is he doing?!" Owen asked in concern.
Heather stood in front of Cody protectively.
"Surrender already, you peon!" Mal grunted angrily as Mike's body continued to thrash violently.
"N-never!" Mike said confidently as he continued to claw at himself.
Noah gasped at the scene. "Mike's fighting Mal for control of his body!" Noah realized.
\
Inside Mike's mind, Mal tackled Mike down as the latter struggled to get himself off of the evil alter.
"Look at you, so pitiful and pathetic!" Mal hissed viciously, "You were a fool to challenge me. It's not like your friends will ever forgive you for this. How will they see you now that they know I exist?"
Mike seemed to be in thought about Mal's words but chose not to let them get to him. "I won't let you win this!" Mike raised his foot to kick Mal in the kiwis, causing Mal to release him from his hold out of instinct.
Mike pushed Mal back and began punching him, trying to keep him down but Mal did not look like he was giving in.
\
Back at the top of the volcano, everyone was anxiously watching the fight unfold.
"What are we gonna do?!" Sadie said in horror.
Sky seemed to be in deep thought before smiling. "We have to rally Mike on! Show him that he's not alone in this!"
"I'm on it," Shawn nodded before speaking up. "Mike! It's me, Shawn! I just want to let you know that no one is mad at you about Mal's actions!"
"All of us are logical enough to separate Mal from Mike. It's just common sense!" Noah smiled encouragingly.
"We're all rooting for you to kick Mal's butt!" Eva added happily.
"We know you can do it," Ella encouraged.
"Mike! I just want you to know that you're my best friend and I can't imagine life without you! I know it may seem rough in there but please, we all have your back!" Sky said encouragingly.
\
Back in his mind, Mike smiled warmly as he heard this and Mal got up, all tattered and beaten. "Those nobodies… are idiots. I'm a part of you and they WILL see that!" Mal cried out in fury.
"You're wrong Mal! You may be a part of my mind, but everything you ever did was all you and no one else!" Mike spoke in determination.
"You always wanted me to rely on you. To make yourself feel important. That desire turned you bitter and hateful and led you to who you are today. You wanted me to feel scared and feel I needed you to be tough, but guess what? I have friends up there. Friends who have stuck by my side even when they learned my disorder before I could properly confess, friends who stuck by me even if they voted me off in season one for the others' behavior, and friends who still stay beside me despite everything you ever did to me!"
Mike's body began glowing white, and for the first time in Mal's life, he felt genuine fear in his eyes. "No… you can't do this to me. No one will ever cross you with me in charge," Mal pleaded desperately, "I'm a part of you."
Mike just narrowed his eyes. "That's true. I can't get rid of you, but I can seal you enough to where you can never cause this much trouble EVER AGAIN!"
Soon, Mike used his hands to shoot a powerful white blast which Mal tried to resist but in the end, it was hopeless and he was blasted into the deepest corners of Mike's mind.
"IT'S MY TIME!!!! MMMMIIIINNNNNEEEEEEE!" Mal cried out in horror as his voice faded into the distance.
Back at the volcano, Mike opened his eyes and grabbed his head. "Wh-Where am I?"
"Mike! He's back!" Ezekiel cried out happily before Topher stopped Ezekiel from going to help him up.
"Wait, this could be a trap," Topher said sternly.
"Let me try something," Duncan told the group before whistling 'In the Hall of the Mountain King,' and all he got was a blank stare from Mike.
"It's really me guys. I swear," Mike smiled encouragingly.
"Mike! You're back!" Sky cried out as she embraced the comedian, to which Shawn, Noah, Dawn, Ella, Sadie, Lindsay, and Cody were all quick to join in.
"Guys, I am so sorry about everything Mal did," Mike apologized profusely. "I should have told you all about him after last season, but I thought he was no longer a problem and-"
"It's okay. We know you never meant for this to happen," Shawn smiled at his friend.
"I promise. I won't forget to let you all know about my problems," Mike pledged.
"Great to have you back," Chris said with an unamused look on his face, "but can one of you toss your sacrifice in the volcano already?"
"The one next to you," Topher told Mike as Izzy dragged her dummy. "If you toss it in the lava before Izzy does, then you win the million dollars."
Mike and Izzy locked eyes, then he grabbed his dummy and both ran as fast as they could to the edge of the volcano.
Quickly forming a plan, Izzy slid to a stop and hurled her dummy. It flew through the sky like a bullet, and moments later, it soared into the lava unceremoniously, and aside from a small splash-back that the Peanut Gallery quickly dodged, nothing happened.
"Oh yes!!!" Izzy boomed. "I won! I won! I won!" she cheered, jumping up and down in glee.
"And that's a cool million for Izzy," Chris told the audience. "The winner of Total Drama World Tour!" The contestants all applauded and cheered for the winner.
"Way to go, Izzy!" Owen cheered out loud.
"Nice job, eh!" Ezekiel clapped his hands.
Chris opened up the briefcase for Izzy, who marveled at the dollar bills inside. "It's so beautiful!" she exclaimed as she took the briefcase and hugged it tightly.
"You worked hard for the money, Izzy," Mike said as he walked over to congratulate her. "I'm just glad to be back in control again."
"You're welcome, and stay you, Mike," Izzy shook hands with Mike.
"Ohh, you didn't throw any pineapples in the volcano, did you?" an unfamiliar voice asked, the camera panning right a little ways just as two elderly Hawaiian men in flowery skirts and leis walked up.
"There are signs everywhere!" the other said.
The camera cut to the Peanut Gallery all stepping away to show several signs with crossed-out pineapples on them.
"Oh yeah," Chris said blankly. "They really ruined the shot, so we put the human wall there."
A third old Hawaiian man came over to reveal another sign. "Don't you know what happens when pineapples meet lava?"
It was then that the volcano shook and rumbled, a long-distance shot of it showing a few reddish streaks forming along the outer edge of the crater.
"Uh-oh," Chris said, gaining the camera's attention as the volcano was shaking, "Didn't see that one coming. Anywho," he chuckled before taking a deep breath and yelling "RRRUUUUNNNNNN!"
The volcano was shown from a distance again, the smoke billowing from the top turning into a full-blown eruption of fire.
Back at the top, the three Hawaiian men went running back towards the path down, followed by Chris, Izzy, Mike, and the rest of the contestants as lava began to cover the screen.
It parted as the scene cut to the base of the volcano, the former contestants running and screaming across the beach as flaming rocks rained down from above and the lava took over the screen again.
"See you next season I guess," Chris said as the camera cut to him as fire continued to fall. "Maybe with a whole new cast, 'cause let's face it – these guys are probably gonna melt," he laughed.
"Until next time," the host said, his voiced strained as the scene cut to him standing up in front of the sky. "I'm Chris McLean, and this has been Total! Drama!" The camera zoomed out to reveal that him and Chef were now aboard the old Boat of Losers, but the host's outtro was interrupted by a sudden object. Both men looked up, and one of the rocks, entirely on fire, was shown rocketing towards the boat.
Chris and Chef ducked to either side as it landed, punching a hole in the ship with its crash. The Boat of Losers began to sink, and the rest of the cast treading water nearby laughed as the two adults went under.
Their mirth was short-lived, however, and quickly turned to terror and they swam away screaming as large flaming rocks started raining down upon them once again, and the footage cut to static.
(Roll the Credits)
\
(Bonus Clip)
The shot featured flaming rocks hitting the ocean and whatnot. The rocks caused some splashes, but they weren't big enough to fully cover the screen.
The camera panned to the right to show Ezekiel Clone on his raft. A big smile formed on his face as he drank his coconut and watched the lava explosion. Noticing the camera, he gave it a wave before it faded to black.
18th: Shawn
17th: Amy
16th: Lindsay
15th: Rodney
14th: Jo
Eliminated: Owen
13th: Duncan
12th: Sky
11th: Heather
10th: Cody
9th: Ella
8th: Noah
7th: Sadie
6th: Owen
5th: Eva
4th: Topher
3rd: Ezekiel
2nd: Mike
1st: Izzy

Disclaimer before I get going here that this is going to be long and verbose, because that's what I found to be the most helpful in my own research. I've labelled various sections to hopefully make this more digestible.

Preamble

When I started the long journey of pursuing GRS in February last year, I made extensive use of community resources to learn about the various procedures, surgeons, and methods out there. After narrowing down my choice to GRS Montreal, I continued browsing resources to learn about their team and what to expect. This was a huge help in soothing my anxieties and curiosities about surgery, and so as I am now nearly at the finish line, it feels right to give back to the community and share my experience.
In this first post, I hope to share what the process looks like as an Ontarian in the time leading up to surgery.

Beginning the process, February 2022

I am very fortunate to have a clinic in my city with a dedicated trans health care team that knows their stuff. Because of this, there was very little confusion in the application process. The first step would be to acquire provincial funding through OHIP; there are various requirements for this that you can look up, but I met all of them at the time. That being said, they were concerned that because I had an involuntary hospitalization last November, my mental health might disqualify me for funding, even though I was mentally in one of the best places I'd ever been by that February (new antidepressants that actually worked, started my path towards education again -- overall things were looking fantastic for me at this point). I was able to connect my psychologist with them to sort this concern out, but it was a very scary learning experience: you have to be in a good mental state for them to be satisfied to proceed with funding. There's probably something to be said about how messed up it is that dysphoria-induced suicidal thoughts can disqualify you from a surgery that resolves that dysphoria, but that's for another post.
By the end of March 2022, my application for provincial funding for OHIP was received by the Ontario Ministry of Health. Little did I know that this was going to take a while.

A really, really long time of waiting, March - October 2022

As is often the case with the Ontario health care system, OHIP applications for surgery funding were severely backed up in the wake of the pandemic. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, this wait was brutal, and if you go to transontario posts from around this time you'll see a whole bunch of people stuck in the same boat where they were waiting nearly a year for the government just to respond to their funding applications. I frequently sent emails to the SRS program (you can reach them at [email protected]) asking about the status of my application, which ultimately wasn't super helpful, but they did tell me which months of the backlog they were working through at least. My application was eventually approved September 26th, 2022, but I wasn't told by anyone until I inquired again with the Ministry in mid-October. The good news is that this part of the process has seemingly improved quite a bit from when I had to do it. Applications seem to be approved in 4-6 months now, significantly more palatable than the 9-12 months that was often seen.
My advice for this part: once your application is in, try to put it to the back of your mind as best you can. Don't obsess over it like I did. Time passed fastest when I was just living my life, not constantly checking reddit and emailing the Ministry for updates. Only send emails once it feels like you should've gotten an update.

I Can't Believe It's More Waiting, October 2022 - April 2023

Before I get started here, I have to stress this was not Montreal's fault and was entirely caused by my own mismanaged expectations.
If you thought you were close to the finish line, bad news, bucko. You now get to wait on the preoperative team at GRS Montreal to evaluate your file. Once they've received your OHIP approval, they'll contact you to let you know that you have to send them a bunch of additional documents. These include:

• A health status form that has to be filled out by you and signed by a doctor
• An ID and preoperative questionnaire
• A consent form for use of images (NOTE: This is probably where a lot of the "NDA" misinformation comes from. This is basically them just asking if they can use pictures of your surgery results to show prospective patients [only people who are already approved, not randoms] and for the purpose of improving the procedure. You can decline this with zero problems, I said yes to it since I don't think there's anything you can really be identified through here and I wanted to help future patients.)
• Your letters of recommendation (you already have these by now if you were approved for OHIP, whoever you got them from just has to send them to Montreal too)
• Hormone therapy report provided by your prescribing doctor (no idea about the specifics of this one tbh, I just let my clinic handle it)
• Up to date list of medications from your pharmacy (you can just call your pharmacy to ask about this, they'll print out a sheet and then you can scan it and email it to Montreal)
• Two-sided scan of your provincial health card

Whew, that's a lot. Now, I prepared for this beforehand and had already send a lot of these documents during the OHIP waiting period because I was extremely antsy; don't do this. I ended up having to redo several forms because they ended up being too old. Only send them forms once they actually ask for the forms.
By the end of October, my file was sent to the pre-operative team for evaluation. I was told this would be a 6-10 month wait, which I thought was a really long estimate given I'd heard of other people being approved much faster. Nope, it actually took 6 months. I think this might have been because I misunderstood that some people getting approval faster were in the process for top surgery, but never looked into it too much. I got really antsy here and thought something was wrong when in reality it was completely fine; when they tell you 6-10 months, expect 6-10 months. I sent them way too many emails during this period because of how anxious I was (thanks for putting up with me, Brenda). Don't do this.

The finish line, May 2023

Late April 2023, I was sent an email from the pre-op team with a whole bunch of questions. This was basically to make sure that the information provided was still accurate, checking up on a few minor health concerns (I have asthma and chronic back pain, so they wanted to be sure those would be managed), checking surgery availability, making sure I'd have an okay environment to recover in, etc. Nothing crazy here but I got really excited because this was the first time they'd reached out in a while.
On May 1st, they confirmed that my file was complete and that I would get a call soon to schedule surgery dates. I was called the next day and asked when I would be available for surgery; given I'm going into university next fall, I asked for it to be as soon as possible and was offered a date of June 5th with Dr. Alex Laungani, which I accepted.
A brief note on Laungani: while he doesn't have nearly as many results posted online compared to Brassard, I was completely happy going with him due to his fairly prestigious record and a few anecdotes of very happy patients. It does bug me a little bit that I couldn't find out as much about his results as I wanted to, but I still have confidence I'm in good hands.
If the waiting before was brutal, waiting while knowing the exact date of your surgery is mega brutal. Not gonna lie, I'm extremely lucky that Tears of the Kingdom released during this period, which made it a lot easier. Same idea as before applies: the time goes by a lot quicker when you're not thinking about it, even if that's going to be extremely difficult by this point.
For transportation, I'm opting to fly there and back. I live in Southwest Ontario, and it would be about an 8-ish hour drive if I'm lucky. Flying cuts this down to a bit over 3 hours including a 1 hour layover. This was a lot more expensive than I expected for a domestic round trip, and I ended up paying over $700 CAD just for the flights. I was okay with this because I had been saving since I decided I was getting surgery, but just be aware that this option can be really expensive if you go for it.
Speaking of expenses, there are some random expenses here and there that you're going to have to pay for. There's a list of aftercare items I had to buy (you can find these on their website in one of the vaginoplasty booklets) that ended up being around $140 CAD, I had to pay $75 for post-operative medication, and I'll have to pay a $50 deposit for the hotel once I'm there (the hotel stay itself is covered). Food is covered once I'm at the hotel seemingly through a $50/day Uber Eats credit.

Where I'm at today, June 1st, 2023

Excited, antsy, a bit nervous. The fact that this is actually happening is starting to hit; before now it felt distant, like a pipe dream. Not really worried about the plane flight itself, not really worried about anything going super wrong in the surgery, but it's a big life change that will be my focus for the next few months during recovery. Probably should start loading up my Steam Deck with games instead of writing up reddit posts, to be honest.
That's all for this one. I'll write again, I dunno, whenever I feel like it to be honest lol. Maybe once I'm back home from surgery, maybe while I'm bored in the recovery home; we'll see how much energy I have to actually do stuff. I extend a massive thank you to everyone who's shared their experiences in the past, and I hope this post and the ones to follow will prove helpful to prospective patients at GRS Montreal.