How much did tj dillashaw make

I had been broken up with my ex for nearly a year, but I still hadn’t been able to get him out of my head. We had been together for three years, and it was a tumultuous relationship. We had broken up and gotten back together multiple times, and even though it was over, I still had feelings for him.
One night, I decided to take a chance and reach out to him. I sent him a text asking if he wanted to come over and hang out. Surprisingly, he agreed. When he arrived, I could feel the tension in the air. We both wanted to talk, but neither of us knew how to start.
Finally, I broke the silence and asked him if he wanted to have sex. He hesitated for a moment, but then agreed. We started making out and it felt like we were back together again. I could feel my heart racing as he kissed me.
I wanted to do something that we had never done before, so I asked him if he wanted to try something new. I had recently bought a strap-on dildo, and I wanted to use it on him. At first, he was hesitant, but eventually, he agreed.
We started off with me fingering him, and then I lubed up the dildo and slowly inserted it into his ass. He moaned in pleasure as I thrust it in and out of him. I could feel his tight ass gripping the dildo as I moved it in and out.
I was enjoying it so much that I started to move faster and faster. I could feel his body trembling as he reached his climax. Afterward, we lay in bed for a few moments, both of us exhausted from the experience.
We talked for a while and eventually, we both fell asleep. In the morning, he left without saying a word. I knew that this was probably the last time that we would ever be together, but I was happy that I had been able to experience something new with him.
That night was one of the most memorable experiences of my life. It was a reminder that even though we had broken up, there were still some things that we could do together that we had never done before. I will never forget that night, and the amazing experience we shared.

John 6:

5 When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” 6He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.
7Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”

Philip failed the test. Andrew volunteered to say something:

8 Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, 9“Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”
10 Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there). 11 Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

Did Andrew have some inkling that Jesus would perform a miracle with the boy's lunch?
The following is from Dottard:
The short answer is, we are not told. However, we should note the intent of the literature and force of the drama which was to contrast the response of Philip with Andrew (two men with conspicuously Greek names): - Philip focused on the size of the problem - responding to Jesus question about buying bread - Andrew focused on how small a contribution he had found.
Note that according to Ellicott, the fact that the "lad" or "boy" [παιδάριον used only in Matt 11:16 and John 6:9 - possibly meaning young slave] was the only person with any food - Ellicott speculates that the young slave had brought this in the hope of selling it. This, again, would make Andrew's response consistent with Jesus' question about where to buy food - Andrew found a seller but with very little to sell.
This is typical of other occasions: Philip is focused on goals (John 14:8) and Andrew is focused on spiritual realities and solutions, eg, John 1:41, 12:22, etc.
Thus, the contrast could be stated this way -
Philip: look at how huge the problem is - its hopeless!
Andrew: here is something, but it is not much
Thus, it is entirely possible that Andrew, not Philip, sensed that Jesus could do something with even their meager resources!

Just wanted to share and note some stuff. Like most people here, my initial reaction was brutal. Crying everyday (not all day long, but you know, it suddenly hits you), sleeping badly, eating poorly. I am a very emotional and idealistic person. She was my first real love. But: - My ego helps me. I contacted her (not to beg to return, to clarify some stuff) and she was so cold that it hit me that if the person does not want you with them, if they are not willing to fight, they don't even regret at all (maybe she will later - not my business), they are not for you and you should not put yourself down for them. There is something better for you. This really helped me to accept reality and create a bit of emotional separation. - While i can't help but going back in my mind in the past so i could "fix" myself, so she would be more happy, i slowly realized that minor changes would not have saved us. And that i effectively can't blame myself for just being myself (that's the main problem, she got to really know me and did not like me) - never in my life i mistreated her in any way, she knows that. I was supportive in every way possible, i took care of her the way i knew how to take care, i was always there for her and always listened to her. She does not blame me. For her it was not enough. I don't get her entirely, don't get how can she describe me the way she did in the end (although we quit on good terms and she has no blame for me). But i know - if she did not believe in me, did not feel like giving me a chance to settle some of my mistakes (we are all human), did not feel like learning how to be happy together and grow, then it was not meant to be. She did not appreciate and love me for my good sides enough (which are def were way more prevalent than the bad ones), that's why she never wanted to really fix thing she did not like. - Talking to people irl helps. Getting to know different experiences in general. A couple of phrases really helped me. The first one was from my ex. I told her that i don't believe she really loved me for real if it just faded away like that. And she said - "Do you think love is only for real if it's forever?". And she is right. My pal who also broke up recently and got over very quickly (he dated for 2 years, but he is not a very emotional person) said something like - "We spent 2 wonderful years together, we are forever greatful, not it's time to move and it's fine". How casual his phrase was really helped me for some reason. People and love - they go. It's okay. Life goes on. Appreciate things that happened even if ther never meant to be forever. It helped me to be more positive. - Really breaking down our relationship also helped me to understand some things for myself. It may not be the case for every one, but this cold shower of a break up, really made me question the whole thing between me and her. I finally could separate my love for her with the relationship. And this relationship was not perfect for me. There were a lot of things i repressed in myself not to see her roll her eyes. I effectively could not be totally myself around her. She is a wonderful girl, i ofc still did not shake off my feelz, but i kind believe now that she was right that we are just not for each other. I now feel like it is very much the case and there are people in this world that i would connect better with, with whom i will feel less tension all the time like i did with her not liking stuff i do, stuff i say, and half of my best friends. I still have fears in that regard, but i rationally feel like there is def something better than this. I also for some reason don't really "miss" her?.. This one is weird.
All of this really helped me - being around people also kinda did, as well as just seeing life around you besides love. I still feel kinda depressed, but in a more calm way. More melancholy than depression. Ofc i still feel empty, like a part of me has been ripped away. It's natural i guess. I still can't imagine myself REALLY with other women for now - since she is my first, every feat of relationship associate me with her. Even though i kinda want a gf lol. I still can't help but to think about all of this all the time, very hard to distract myself. So many things also remind me of her, it's crazy heh. But i guess it all will go away with time.

INTRODUCTION
Hello everyone and thanks for visiting my post! My name is John and I am a litigation attorney from the great state of New York. Don't assume that I mean New York City either. There is a whole wide world of New York out there that doesn't revolve around the five boroughs!
I have my life together and am at a point where I want to share it with someone special!
HOBBIES AND SPECIAL SKILLS
I have a wide variety of hobbies and I am always trying to learn new things and hear about the passions that other people have. I enjoy reading, writing, bike riding, hiking, visiting new places and road trips to name a few!
I am also caring, a great listener, a hopeless romantic and can reach things on high shelves for you.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
I am not immune or ignorant to the fact that physical attraction is an important facet of any potential relationship. For me, I am 6'5, blonde hair, blue eyes and on the huskier [though height/weight proportionate] side of things. I am happy to exchange verification pictures so we can both prove we aren't Nigerian princes and princesses.
I have heard all the height comments before. So, before you ask, the air is better up here, I did play basketball and you have most definitely nearly decapitated me with your umbrella during a heavy rain storm.
WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?
I am aware this is Reddit and so my expectations are low, but I am still optimistic! Ideally, I am looking for a long-term relationship. If it ends up that I make some new friends? Great! But, my focus is on establishing something for the long haul. I would ask that you at least be in the EST time zone or be willing or heading to New York in the near future!
NEXT STEPS
So, you've read this far [I hope]. You want to message me, but you don't know what to say? Tell me about yourself! Tell me the last book you read, movie you watched. Tell me your favorite hobby. Tell me something funny that happened to you this week. Tell me how you're even feeling at the moment. I'm sure we will find some common ground and potentially the start of something truly special.
It also wouldn't hurt to send a picture of yourself in the opening message and I will do the same. At the very least, a physical description of yourself would be great!
ANTI-GHOSTING POLICY
I would be remiss if I didn't mention my patent pending anti-ghosting policy. Look, I understand real life can get in the way of fun Reddit messaging. I know the anonymity of the keyboard can make it feel like you're not even talking to another person. But, we are both people. If, for whatever reason, you're just not feeling it, just say so! We can part ways amicably and wish each other well.
Looking forward to hearing from you!
Sincerely, John

For those with adult diagnoses, especially late-life diagnoses: Reflecting back on your childhood, what signs/symptoms of ADHD did you and/or others miss that made you say, “Oh, now it makes sense!” after you were diagnosed? I’ll share some of mine (diagnosed at 43).

1. In order to be able to focus on my homework, I would sit in my room with both the TV and radio on and be talking on the phone (landline in those days) while working on my homework. If I didn’t have all that stimulation, I couldn’t start and/or finish it.
   
2. Report card comment from my 4th-grade teacher. “She is often preoccupied.” Not knowing what she meant, this statement stuck with me my entire life and only clicked when I got my diagnosis.
   
3. I was way more productive when I procrastinated until the night before (this was with everything: regular homework, projects, presentations, science fairs, studying for exams, etc.). If I tried to start the work when it was assigned I couldn’t get much accomplished no matter how much I tried.
   
4. Boredom!! I was always bored in school! Yes, all kids get bored in school, but this was not because school and learning were not engaging enough or the teachers sucked. I had generally wonderful teachers, but something in my brain yearned for more stimulation.
   

I’d finish my work early and have to get the Scholastic Reading Intervention cards (which I enjoyed) and do reading comprehension questions. And then scored 3-5 grade levels above on the state reading assessments every time. Not to mention, I was an honor roll, A & B student… Honors/TAG & AP classes, so of course no one thought I had ADHD. What about you?

My now ex gf 16f who i will refer to as "A" broke up with me 16m (both 15 at the time) because she was going to kill her self.
When i first met her she was the average uk stoner having done a few class As in the past, only having one other relationship where she was abused mentally. she did not like talking abt it but i think i can infer the details. i had had 0 experience in relationships 0 experience with drugs/ alcohol, i was a complete newbie to everything. we were almost polar opposites to each other: she had dropped out of school and now goes to a special school for kids with behavioral issues. i was and still am high achieving whilst maintaining a good reputation with my peers, i think this is what made us so interested in each other to be honest.
She had opened up to me about her depression and her trust issues before going into our relationship. i would like to say we fell pretty hard for each other but im sure i fell hardest as im still in disbelieve she did this to me even two months later. when i was with her i was the happiest i had ever ever been. it was weird, i did not think just being with somebody else could make me this happy. we were both in love. during our relationship we only had 2 arguments with us both getting over them within in at least 12 hours, we had a pact where we wound not bring them up again this worked very well, this was her idea to which i mutually agreed.
one day out of the blue i woke up to a long paragraph from her, she said we should end it because she was not in the right space for a relationship at this time, this was a lye which i later found out. i did not read the whole thing i think i was too in shock to after the first two lines everything was a blur. the message did not seem remorseful it didn't seem sincere. i asked to meet later that day which i knew she could as she only went to school once every blue moon. we met up later that day after i had school, she said she was going somewhere. she couldn't tell me where, she couldn't tell me who she was going with, she couldn't tell me what she was going to do there. perhaps she was talking about the afterlife, im not sure. that was all she told me - that day.
i was livid, i could not believe she was going to do this to me. me and her bsf 15f were both in denial that she was actually going to do this as all three of us knew we made each other happy. i took her on the right path to improving as a person, she so said her self and her bsf. right there and then whilst both of us were in tears sitting on my bed i blocked her and her friends on all socials systematically followed by delating every photo i had of her, im still unsure that this was the right decision to make at the time but it was the only thing i could think of to do as a last attempt to make her turn around and say don't do this or something like that. i hoped wrong.
one of the last things i said to her was promise me your not going to kill your self, she nodded gently. we both left my house and walked to the station holding hands in silence. i think i was too starstruck to talk. we got to the station, she asked if i wanted to kiss, without saying anything we both leaned in. i said i love you as she walked off to board the train after not talking for a long, panful 45 mins, this was reciprocated by "i love you too". later that evening i went round my mates house got drunk and talked the whole thing over with him i had to get this off my chest (pun intended) right there and then. this was the end. so i thought...
we didn't talk for two weeks. all i could think about was her. she messaged me on my birthday to say "happy birthday elliot" i now hate her for this. why had she done this to me right now, why is she messaging me again. i had made it clear in the break up that we were not going to message each other again. i had blocked her on everything. but i had forgotten to blocker her number. i don't remember exactly what i said but i was desperate, something along the lines of "i could have fixed this im sorry". she said i couldn't have fixed this and that the entire thing was her fault.
we kept messaging for another week. this was hell for me, im still not sure why i hated this week so much. on the 6th day of messaging she confessed to me, i remember it word for word, "i don't plan on being alive for much longer after summer". i didn't react. i just continued the previous conversation im not sure why i did this either. this pissed her off i think. i dont remember much more of what was said but i remember simply saying your not going to do it. she said she was going to. the next day i told her she was week and selfish for doing this to me i told her she was, "taking the easy way out". i blocked her number this time. we haven't messaged since.
a week back i messaged the same bsf, as i mention earlier, happy birthday we have been talking since, mostly not about her just other things. on a completely different note i have a new girl, im going to call her E, who i am messaging she wants to meet after our gcses (the UKs SATs equivalent). shes high achieving, smart, funny, cute but a tad on the boring side, unlike A. i believe i have moved on from A.
however last night we talked about A. she said she believes that A is likely not to kill her self anymore, i was fuming to hear this. i want her to do it i wont lye. i said this to the bsf she said she understand how i feel. i told her to message A if she would ever think about getting back with me because admittedly i would get back with her. i have had nobody make me this happy before in my life, i want that feeling again. A said she would see whether she would reconsider in collage (all four of us are going to the same collage the bsf, A, E and me). collage is 3 months away.
also to add, i manipulated A a lot along with E who i am currently talking to. i know i have to stop this but i cant. its almost pleasurable, i get some kind of sick enjoyment out of doing it. i also believe i am a narcissist, so say my friends, my family, and the bsf.
this brings me to the current moment. im not sure why i am writing this tbh. please feel free to give me advice in the comments thank you very much for reading this wonderful people of reddit x

I'm an incoming freshman in Grainger, and need to take three semesters of a foreign language. I'm from India and can speak and write in Hindi fluently, but since native speakers rarely speak pure Hindi (it's usually a combination of Hindi and English), I don't have an extensive vocabulary. I only took Hindi up to 8th grade, since Hindi class is known for being difficult in high school.
How difficult is the proficiency test? Would I have to use fancy words or do I need to know advanced grammar rules?
I also took French from 6th grade to 10th grade (only 2 years in high school), but they were mainly focused on comprehension skills and grammar. I did manage to develop some speaking skills through self-study, but my listening skills are shit, and I can't speak fluently at all.
I took the placement test, and while it did place me in FR 205 or 207 (I'm assuming because of my advanced grammar and adequate reading skills), I could barely make out words in the listening section. How hard would it be to pass the proficiency test? And would I need to take any other courses to fulfill the LOTE requirement (I'm not really clear on which French course qualifies as a third-semester course)?
Sorry for the long post lol and thanks in advance!

Imo nwh was a weak movie in terms of its plot. I was a huge Spider-man fan as a kid and I love all 3 Spider-men. I loved the fight scene, it was mind blowing, I loved the interaction between the three Peter Parkers, incredible, and I thought most of the fan service parts and the visuals in-general were cool. But the movie is so weak in terms of its plot, take away the unbelievably awesome fan service they were able to include and choreograph, and there's absolutely no plot in the movie.
The story starts off all fast paced, which would have been ok if they had done something with the tricky situation they place him in. I mean, the whole point of Spider-man using a secret identity is to protect his loved ones from villains. But the negative result of his identity being revealed is political and uninteresting instead of being life threatening or causing psychological harm; Peter and his family are safe from any physical danger. This feels like such a betrayal to the story arc the ending of the previous movie promised. In fact, by the time he finishes talking to the FBI and Daredevil, it's almost as if the events of the post credit scenes from the previous movie didn't happen and the inner conflict Peter faces of the politics of the whole situation having negative impacts on his family and friends' lives ignores all connections to the post credit scene of the previous movie.
For the record, I thought the whole Dr Strange and Peter spell scene was unrealistically illogical, in terms of how both characters were behaving; but that scene was intended to be comical, so I guess the value of that scene depends on your taste in humour, but personally I thought it was very irritating. When the villains start coming in, I thought his battle with Doc Ock and Green Goblin was pretty cool but I would like to point out that at this point in the movie the MIT problem had been pretty much solved with the MIT lady saying she will speak to the admissions people; so that weird main conflict the movie had been thus far following had already been resolved leaving the movie without direction. The direction of the movie then turned towards capturing the villains. When it came to capturing the Lizard, Sandman and Electro, the script was practically written as if it was just a normal chore Peter had to do before he back for home, there was no emotion (aside from the awe from fan service) because at this point the movie had no solid structure in the flow in the flow of its story. Aside from the fact that the villains are merely present in the movie and don't have a continuation of their character arcs from the spider-man and amazing Spider-Man movies, two things that I didn't like about the villains in the movie was Electro and Sandman. It's not just cause they rewrote Electros character that I thought his villain was weak in this movie, it's that this new electro doesn't seem to have any strong dark motive other than simply being evil and causing chaos; I mean I guess the wickedness of all the villains in the movie, at least in terms of the script, was pretty plain, but those characters characteristics had been pre established in the other movies, unlike the new electro, like—why rewrite a character if you're not even gonna give them character? Whenever I saw electro it just felt like the actor, Jamie Foxx's good acting was making a badly written character less boring. And with Sandman, I thought it was absolutely disrespectful to the original Spider-Man trilogy to just up and ignore the good-guy-at-heart character arc he had in Spider-man 3, and just like make him a plain villain with no motive other than to be evil.
I mean after this movie tries to spread a good message that is true to Spider-man's morals with his eagerness to help the villains and not just let them die when they head back. Though this is a good lesson and sensically follows Spider-man themes, the idea of bringing back these villains but focusing the movie on such a weird idea of trying to save these villains from going back to their timeline and dying seemed prosaically complicated and weird to me. I mean I would have wanted them to team up and for the writers to be more imaginative with the villains motives, but no... they just made it so bland, as if the presence of the villains served no greater purpose than good ol' fan service. To be clear, at least the way I see it, this where the overarching story in the movie begins, the moment after they capture all the villains and strange wants to send all of them back but Spider-Man disagrees. The weird thing for me is that story actually feels like it is about 5 superpowered beings that came into this universe from other universes where they were about to die, and Peter's morals are displayed when he sees good in them and doesn't wanna just send them back to die and there is inner conflict when he sees that these villains just wanna go and be bad; in this story the villains just HAPPEN to be the villains from the previous Spider-Man movies. And the gist of the story seen under this light is so boring and out right bad compared to a sensical story that would involve a crossover between the 3 live action spiderverses. For me, the dumbest part in the whole movie was when the villains go to Peter's house (I mean how anti climatic and uninteresting is that?) and they just up and decide that instead of being good they wanna be evil instead, and no kidding that's how deep they got into that stuff. The green goblin scene felt prosaic in the flow of the story, but what made it work was how well they directed that scene, and how genuinely mind blowing Willem Dafoe's performance was in the movie. So yes that scene was well done, despite not really fitting in the flow of the script, but what was again dull was Aunt Mays death, I get the plot twist of Aunt May dying instead of uncle Ben and all, but her death didn't feel connected to anything that happened before this point in the movie, it felt like an executive decision to get more people invested in this Spider-Man, yes it is a plot twist, but there was no spirit in its execution in the story.
After that the movie gets better though, with the 3 Peters talking and the downright spectacular fight scene at the end; these are the only parts in the movie I truly liked (that being said I loved the Peter interaction scenes mainly because of the fan service) cuz I mean that 3 Spider-men swinging was AMAZINNNNG. And one of the most poignant Spider-man scenes for me was when Gwen Stacy fell down that clock tower, seeing the amazing Spider-Man find some redemption in himself regarding that death touching.
The ending was surprising, I never imagined they would incorporate an isolated Spider-man in a movie, but they did, and the ending was well directed. BUT... I didn't like it, at least, I didn't like seeing that after THIS movie. If it was a good movie that follows a solid story following Spider-man's identity being revealed (which follows life threatening implications instead of political ones) and how he learns responsibility from THAT instead of learning it from some dumb saving-villains-story-arc, only THEN would that exact same ending have been great for me. Also I have no complaints about the fight scene, but I do really wish they included character arcs for both the villains and Spider-men.
I remember after watching the movie in the theatre thinking to myself this movie was so bad, the reviews have to be bad, but then at the same time also knowing what modern marvel fans are like and their inhumanely positive reception of fan service. I was astonished to see exactly how great people thought this movie was, that I felt had an immensely weak plot that I was disappointed by, cuz I was hoping for a proper crossover story and a better story for the whole identity revelation thing. I was so surprised that this movie had become the 6th (I think that was it) highest grossing film. But I mean it's all based on my taste in the day. I meant all the negative things I said about the movie, but I don't take that as the truth, so I'm open to rebuttals and your opinions on these thoughts I had and any confusions you have of anything I said.

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As a cis-het dude (probably) I hear the word "confidence" getting tossed around a lot. Needing to be confident. Needing to exude confidence. And with that comes the micromanagement of my smile, my body, whether to hold hands, when to offer a physical embrace, etc. Because that's what we're expected to do: be confident. Make the other person feel safe.
I've always rankled at this arms-race of confidence, and now I think I understand why. Being confident helps my potential partner feel safe, but what good does that do when I don't feel safe with them?
Looking back, I have hardly ever felt safe or secure with the women I've dated. There's always been an uncomfortable distance. A coldness. Or maybe not coldness, but an air of tension. As if they keep waiting for me to give them something without offering any clues. And I keep trying to perform (often overperform) with humor or forced enthusiasm, resulting in either A) my dates leaving early or B) radio silence after the fact. The end result is a bad date, not specifically because nothing came of it, but because I end up a nervous wreck, which in turn feeds my self-loathing issues. All because I spend 99% of the date in a state of utter panic or despair.
Take my last date. I had been talking to this person online for a while, but when we met up things were different. We hugged, but it didn't feel right. She kept looking at me as if expecting something, but I couldn't figure out what. Any jokes or levity I attempted to inject into the date fell flat, or were answered with what felt like jabs at my expense (really it was at the expense of Capitalism or the art world or whatever, but still). She ended up leaving early, which was honestly for the best, and I felt horrible for days after.
Now let's look at a counterexample. Because yes, sometimes my dates do go well. I met a woman at a friend's party, and she had the best sense of humor. Apparently she thought I was cute, because she asked a mutual friend for my contact info. Our first date was great, because everything she did put me at ease. We listened to music in my car, we constantly made dirty jokes while at the zoo, we improvised when a museum we had wanted to visit was packed, and the whole experience made me feel good. You could say "hey dumbass, the difference is that she actually liked you." But it was more than that. I could be confident around her, because she made an effort to make me feel safe. We went out a few times after that, and no, a relationship didn't happen. But at least we had fun. At least I think about that experience with fondness rather than anxiety or sorrow.
I guess my point is, I need to stop seeing dating as a confidence game. Because it's not, at least for me. I need someone who makes me feel safe. And I have to wonder how many other dudes (or non cis-het women/non-binary folk) feel the same way, but either live in denial or have become accustomed to not being heard.

I’m sorry but I’m just looking for some help / third person perspectives cause I don’t trust my own at this point. I don’t know if I’m just unhappy, scared, confused, or what. Forgive my long post and disorganized format, I don’t know how to go about this, if there is a more appropriate community for this please let me know.
To start, I wanted to clarify that she was in a previous marriage that was extremely abusive, and from what she has told me included just about every form of abuse (financial, mental, emotional, physical). Also, she is currently in therapy and working on a lot, and is very communicative of these things. I’m just acutely aware of her experiences and want to be as supportive as I can be. She is, at times, extremely affectionate and a doting partner.
My gf has never hit me, but there’s times where I wonder if certain behaviors are emotionally or sexually abusive / manipulative.
She has a very high sex drive (every day) and while it feels good to have a partner that is very attracted to me, there’s a lot of times I feel pressured into sex. I don’t feel like having sex at the moment, she gets extremely down, upset, or sometimes cries and asks if I don’t find her attractive, explains that she has never been with a man who had a lower sex drive than her, etc. I’m also afraid that if I’m ever not fully clothed she gropes me, (sometimes even if I am fully clothed) she stands in my way in doorways and such and gropes me as I walk past her) and if I don’t engage I’m rejecting her, but if I do then we have to have sex in that moment. This has now created an environment where anytime I do want sex, she feels like she HAS to take advantage of the timing, and has explained to me how this makes her feel bad. At the same time, I get really bad performance anxiety cause if sex doesn’t go well, it ends in crying or a hit to someone’s confidence. But the performance anxiety is what sometimes gets in the way. She asks questions sometimes that really throw me off like “oh are you thinking of ____?” (Someone we both know who I used to have relations with), etc.
I find myself not wanting to go home from work, afraid of the emotional work of being in the same space. She always vocalizes that if I need space to let her know, but if I do, it’s a whole rollercoaster of her saying “am I too much? I always wear out my partners. Please don’t leave me! I’m such a burden.” through tears. Unfortunately now I’ve ended up in a financially supportive role (which we deliberated much about) which I am happy to provide, but now she’s told me that if I left things would be extremely financially difficult for her, she hates her job, etc.
I just don’t know what to do because I do love her very much, and when she’s in a good headspace, she’s the best. However when she’s not, it’s confusing and scary at times (there’s other examples I didn’t list to cut down on length). It feels at this point that more days than not, there’s crying, arguments, and heavy support being given and it’s exhausting but I can’t express that out of fear that it makes the problem even worse. She watches my every move and expression to watch for changes. If I so much as relax my face it’s “did I fuck something up? Oh god I made a mistake didn’t I? I always mess things up. Please don’t leave me”. I was so lonely before I met her, so I don’t want to let it go, and now moving out at this point would be terrible, and it hurts to see her cry, I just never want to hurt her. She acknowledges that she does these things, and she’s working on them, but they still happen with regularity.
I’m sorry this is more of a rant and at this point I’m afraid she’ll see this somehow. Any opinions are welcome.

My now ex gf 16f who i will refer to as "A" broke up with me 16m (both 15 at the time) because she was going to kill her self.
When i first met her she was the average uk stoner having done a few class As in the past, only having one other relationship where she was abused mentally. she did not like talking abt it but i think i can infer the details. i had had 0 experience in relationships 0 experience with drugs/ alcohol, i was a complete newbie to everything. we were almost polar opposites to each other: she had dropped out of school and now goes to a special school for kids with behavioral issues. i was and still am high achieving whilst maintaining a good reputation with my peers, i think this is what made us so interested in each other to be honest.
She had opened up to me about her depression and her trust issues before going into our relationship. i would like to say we fell pretty hard for each other but im sure i fell hardest as im still in disbelieve she did this to me even two months later. when i was with her i was the happiest i had ever ever been. it was weird, i did not think just being with somebody else could make me this happy. we were both in love. during our relationship we only had 2 arguments with us both getting over them within in at least 12 hours, we had a pact where we wound not bring them up again this worked very well, this was her idea to which i mutually agreed.
one day out of the blue i woke up to a long paragraph from her, she said we should end it because she was not in the right space for a relationship at this time, this was a lye which i later found out. i did not read the whole thing i think i was too in shock to after the first two lines everything was a blur. the message did not seem remorseful it didn't seem sincere. i asked to meet later that day which i knew she could as she only went to school once every blue moon. we met up later that day after i had school, she said she was going somewhere. she couldn't tell me where, she couldn't tell me who she was going with, she couldn't tell me what she was going to do there. perhaps she was talking about the afterlife, im not sure. that was all she told me - that day.
i was livid, i could not believe she was going to do this to me. me and her bsf 15f were both in denial that she was actually going to do this as all three of us knew we made each other happy. i took her on the right path to improving as a person, she so said her self and her bsf. right there and then whilst both of us were in tears sitting on my bed i blocked her and her friends on all socials systematically followed by delating every photo i had of her, im still unsure that this was the right decision to make at the time but it was the only thing i could think of to do as a last attempt to make her turn around and say don't do this or something like that. i hoped wrong.
one of the last things i said to her was promise me your not going to kill your self, she nodded gently. we both left my house and walked to the station holding hands in silence. i think i was too starstruck to talk. we got to the station, she asked if i wanted to kiss, without saying anything we both leaned in. i said i love you as she walked off to board the train after not talking for a long, panful 45 mins, this was reciprocated by "i love you too". later that evening i went round my mates house got drunk and talked the whole thing over with him i had to get this off my chest (pun intended) right there and then. this was the end. so i thought...
we didn't talk for two weeks. all i could think about was her. she messaged me on my birthday to say "happy birthday elliot" i now hate her for this. why had she done this to me right now, why is she messaging me again. i had made it clear in the break up that we were not going to message each other again. i had blocked her on everything. but i had forgotten to blocker her number. i don't remember exactly what i said but i was desperate, something along the lines of "i could have fixed this im sorry". she said i couldn't have fixed this and that the entire thing was her fault.
we kept messaging for another week. this was hell for me, im still not sure why i hated this week so much. on the 6th day of messaging she confessed to me, i remember it word for word, "i don't plan on being alive for much longer after summer". i didn't react. i just continued the previous conversation im not sure why i did this either. this pissed her off i think. i dont remember much more of what was said but i remember simply saying your not going to do it. she said she was going to. the next day i told her she was week and selfish for doing this to me i told her she was, "taking the easy way out". i blocked her number this time. we haven't messaged since.
a week back i messaged the same bsf, as i mention earlier, happy birthday we have been talking since, mostly not about her just other things. on a completely different note i have a new girl, im going to call her E, who i am messaging she wants to meet after our gcses (the UKs SATs equivalent). shes high achieving, smart, funny, cute but a tad on the boring side, unlike A. i believe i have moved on from A.
however last night we talked about A. she said she believes that A is likely not to kill her self anymore, i was fuming to hear this. i want her to do it i wont lye. i said this to the bsf she said she understand how i feel. i told her to message A if she would ever think about getting back with me because admittedly i would get back with her. i have had nobody make me this happy before in my life, i want that feeling again. A said she would see whether she would reconsider in collage (all four of us are going to the same collage the bsf, A, E and me). collage is 3 months away.
also to add, i manipulated A a lot along with E who i am currently talking to. i know i have to stop this but i cant. its almost pleasurable, i get some kind of sick enjoyment out of doing it. i also believe i am a narcissist, so say my friends, my family, and the bsf.
this brings me to the current moment. im not sure why i am writing this tbh. please feel free to give me advice in the comments thank you very much for reading this wonderful people of reddit x

Hi all! Sorry if this is long winded. I stumbled upon this sub and decided to start a week ago. I am doing this primarily for weight loss. I’m 27M 6’1, started at 234 pounds. Previously I ate 3 meals a day, an occasional soda and 4-5 beers a night. Now I wake up at 6 for work and drink only black coffee (still missing my cream and sugar) and water. I eat a sandwich around 12pm and eat whatever my wife makes for dinner around 6pm. No more beer. I have also started running/walking after work around 330pm. I was able to do a 2 mile jog yesterday without stopping to walk which was a huge accomplishment for me. I checked in this morning at the 7 day mark at 223 pounds! Very happy with the results. I assume weight loss will slow soon. My only question is should I be counting calories? I have no idea how to determine how much I should be eating factoring in exercise. I felt great the first 5 days, aside from my leg muscles being sore from new exercise. The last 2 days, no more soreness as my body is getting used to it, but I’ve had noticeable headaches that water is not helping with. Perhaps I’m not eating enough? Appreciate any insight or advice.

For the past 2 months I've been struggling with a lot of things that fall under the category of dysphoria and I related so much to a lot of the things in the Gender Dysphoria Bible and NightlingBug's tweet thread (you know which one I'm talking about) and I accepted fairly early on that I was trans (took like 2 weeks) and, other than most of society hating my guts for no good reason and probably not being accepted by my family, I was fine with it; I mean, it did certainly explain a lot.
After about a month I had to go home from college and that's when the reality set in that a. I'm gonna have to tell my family about this eventually and b. I can't girlmode in safety at all because my room doesn't have a lock and I work night shift. I kinda just started spiralling as a result and it culminated in me feeling way more depressed than usual a couple days ago and I started crying because I hadn't taken my anti-depressants yet and the thought of coming out to my family hurt so much. The day after (two days ago) I just kinda lost the ability to think all too much and just laid in bed all day from feeling depressed and when the ability to think somewhat came back all of the trans thoughts that I had mostly didn't. I figured that they'd come back yesterday (still in my consciousness from yesterday because night shift) but they haven't and it's still hard to think about anything in general, let alone trans stuff. Usually the thoughts come back after a day and with a punch because it usually incites a good bit of imposter syndrome, but this is sort of uncharted territory. Paradoxically I kinda feel a little less depressed (like it's still there and it still leaves me bedbound most of the day, but I don't feel as bad when I have to do things), but that's probably because my brain isn't letting me think about having to come out to my family anymore.
Was I just faking feeling this stuff? I mean there were signs growing up (I have a list of almost 60 signs that I might be trans) but I feel like a lot of it could just be explained away as being a weird kid and/or hating my body and/or ADHD and/or not really being in a meaningful relationship in 6ish years and/or being bullied a good bit and/or being really mentally ill. Just last week I was planning on how to come out to my friends and now I'm having gigantic doubts. Was it all just a form of escapism from how shitty I've been feeling the past 2 years? Did my brain just see patterns where there weren't actually there? If I didn't have that one moment where I realized that I'm trans would I have thought the same things towards some of the questions that help answer whether or not you're trans (the button one comes to mind)? Am I just subconsciously repressing my feelings because I've been so depressed over losing my family when coming out that my brain finally had enough and turned off the thinking switch? I feel like I'm losing my mind right now.

I’ve posted elsewhere also, I am desperate.
Im sorry for the long post and format, I’m on mobile and at my wits end.
I’m about to lose my mind, my partner, and everything we’ve built together. My son is 9. Since he was out of diapers we’ve had issues with his BMs. His bio dad tried to force potty training too early (we were already broken up at this point so I had no control over what went on in his house) and have suffered the ramifications ever since. Periods of purposeful constipation from very young age to now. He just doesn’t wipe properly. I’ve talked to him, I’ve talked to medical doctors, he is currently and has been in therapy. I’ve reached out to other parents, including my own, for advice. NOTHING is working. Dirty underwear, dirty toilet seats, dirty marks in the shower. Beyond the expenses of packs or underwear and Lysol wipes, toilet wipes, new shower luffas… I’m lost. My partner and I have been together for almost 4 years and the two get along generally speaking but he has a major issue with all of this and I don’t blame him. Doesn’t want LO to touch his stuff, doesn’t like sharing a bathroom, doesn’t even go near his bedroom “in case”.. he broke yesterday and told me he doesn’t want to leave me or lose me so the only solution he can think of is to get a nearby apartment so we can still see each other but doesn’t have to share a living space where he’s constantly anxious that feces are touching things he uses if things don’t change. I’ve already been dealing w this for 7 years and I don’t know how to fix it. I have no advice, there’s nothing medically wrong, he’s not autistic or on the spectrum accept for an ADHD diagnosis. I keep getting told “it’ll happen on its own.” Well I’m about to lose my house (my partner pays for our living costs) and the one person I’ve EVER been with that I see as a husband. He’s kind, generous, loyal, supportive, respectful.. you name it.. I felt like I found a diamond in the rough when we met and things have been so amazing… except this. I fully understand how gross it is when it’s not your child (even if it is, let’s be honest..) and I feel so helpless bc if I can’t get my 9yo to understand what he’s doing I’m going to lose EVERYTHING. My person… yes, my child, I love him unconditionally ofc but I found a partner in life that helps me thru all of my anxiety and issues and you can say what you want but adult support is so important. I did it alone before, I’m capable but it’s SOO not what I want… I guess I just need some advice. I don’t know how to make him realize how gross and unhygienic this is. Beyond my own problems, this will be a reason he gets bullied. Kids are going to start noticing the smell or if he goes to a friends house and leaves their bathroom a foul mess… he showers twice a day bc of this (I have to make him). I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get him to understand.. he acts sad/sorry but NOTHING changes…. Please tell me I’m not alone. Please tell me there is a solution… I can’t lose this relationship. I will end up in a ward.

At my job, I sit between two guys that annoy me. The rest of my coworkers are great, but I just happen to sit between two of my least favorite ones. The one on my right is nosy and always seems to want my attention. I notice him staring at me in my peripheral vision. It WEIRD. He always acts like I want to talk to him when I don’t. I’m not the only person he does this too though. When I come into work, I don’t want to speak to them about anything unless it’s strictly work related. He insists on showing me stupid memes that I don’t ever find funny. I just pretend it’s funny to not offend him.
The one on my left is some kind of compulsive liar. He has a weird sense of humor. He’s a little less annoying than the guy on my right but both of them are best friends and have gone over coworkers heads to complain about them to the supervisor to make people look bad. They’re both the newest workers at my job site. The one on the right got the other one the job here so they are like butt buddies.
I’m sick of sitting between these dumbasses. I’m going to come up with a way to change where I sit but when we go out in the field, i can’t avoid them. Has anyone else had to deal with grown up children like these guys? Did you find a way to cope with them? I get to work and every single morning just gets ruined by how little self awareness these dumbasses seem to have.
I’m really just posting this to vent but any feedback is appreciated.

Has anyone ever worked for intelcom or amazon delivery, if so what was it like?
How much did you get paid per package?
How many packages did you deliver a day?
How many hours did you work?
How far did you have to go for deliveries?
Any other comments would be appreciated as well!

Just had an online appointment with my psychiatrist. She’s telling me I need to make changes (increase intake) basically or else.
My depression is awful right now. Literally do not enjoy being alive and really struggle to function through the day… my ED behaviors like restricting and exercise is literally how I keep myself together and are honestly the only way I feel strong enough to take things on. It’s almost like my armor.
Why in the world would I want to sacrifice this? I have absolutely zero motivation and honestly just want to keep things as they are. I’m not actively trying to lose weight, I don’t think I am too big, I just need the support of my ED. It’s like a drug at this point.
It’s crazy how much this disorder changes as you get older. It all started with a sad anxious 17 year old dieting and exercising to lose a little weight, and now look at me.

This is a line that so many nice people on here have told me, but I just know it’s not true. Trying my best would have meant making those phone calls no matter how scared I was. I should have separated myself from the situation for a bit, gone to my room where I was alone and it was quiet, what was I thinking? Why didn’t I do that. I’m sure I would have had the strength to call, in the place I always torture myself with calls.
I’m so mad at myself, and it hurts so much because I’ve always been this way. Never trusting myself, always being scared to make decisions, always wanting someone to tell me what to do, always wanting someone else to solve things for me, always running away, always taking the passive approach, never trusting my gut, always letting my anxiety control me. And i’ve always wanted to change, always believing that I could. Believing that in an emergency, where my poor baby was sick breathing fast, with a blue tongue, that I could make the right decisions for him. And yet I didn’t, why is that?
I knew his tongue was blue because his body wasn’t getting enough oxygen due to his heart, so obviously common thought is that he likely needs oxygen, an oxygen tank will help. Yet I found ways to even doubt that, tell myself I wasn’t sure. That the vet we went to never mentioned it. That maybe all I can rely on was the medicine we were given. Or was I just scared to go to the emergency, to make that decision? I should have at least properly googled it, or yet again called the emergency asking if that was possible. But I didn’t, I chose to hold onto the blind stupid hope that he should take his medicine, rest, and we’ll go to the vet in the morning. Yet again I took the passive approach, because it was easier, because I was just trying to calm myself? Because I didn’t want to believe that you were dying.
I hated my brain that night, so many thoughts whirling away in my mind, so unsure of what to do, when it was so obvious.
Of course if I knew what would have happened, I would have gone straight away. I never ever wanted him to be in pain, but because I DIDN’T know what would happen, that should have also been reason enough to go. Why couldn’t I be like everyone else, where I sprung into action, trusted that strong gut feeling, that feeling that I might regret things If I don’t act. Instead I was still too weak. My sister and my mum also thought he should sleep, so yet again I put their word above my gut feeling.
I wish I could have asked him what he wanted to do - stay at home and rest that night (he was still sleepy from his x ray he had hours before) and go to the vet in the morning, or go to the emergency straight away that night where they could put him on oxygen and possibly other meds.
That night was just all so wrong. I’m so sorry my angel, I wish you didn’t have me as your owner. Someone else could have done so so much better than me. I wish I had been strong for you
I’m never ever going to wait until it’s too late again, I hate how I had to learn the hard way, and I hate that you suffered because of it. I wish I had just been strong from the get go. But I swear I will do better in the future with your brother

I'm 25 years old and will be 26 by the time I start school again in September.
Anyway, a quick backstory: I quit college (Law) . Did lots of CSR jobs, some construction etc. and finally got the money and time to start studying again! Now, I decided I want to go to university and study to become an engineer. I'm doing everything in my power to relearn maths and physics that will be neccesarry for me to pass any exams and prerequisites.
I want to do it... but I'm unsure if I can. I'm older now, especially in my late 20s. I really need a fresh start from all that has happened in my life. I left countless of friends, toxic bosses and my biggest problem alcohol . I just feel a bit discouraged that my peers have already gotten their degrees and or are starting theri careeres. Are there any other mature students out there with a similar situation? How do I convince myself I'm making the right decision? I know I can do the work, I just lost the motivation but at the same time, I really don't have any career choices so I figure going back to school is the best option in the long run. I have money, time and health. Also my parents are supportive. I just dont have anyone I can relate to that can help me overcome this inner psychological blokade.

So I've been out of bartending for several years, but still in the industry working as a server. I was asked to bartend a former coworker's wedding this upcoming weekend and I'm just trying to make sure I have all my ducks in a row here. I have been told there are aprox 130 21+ guests, however, there is speculation that the mother of one of the brides may have invited a lot more. No way of knowing until the day of. I am doing this 100% solo. The facility provides ice and a refrigerator. The woman who runs it had been talking about buying a portable bar, but I am not sure if she did. If not, I guess we're just pushing tables together and running out of coolers. The brides are working on a tight budget, and are also in their early 20's. I will be making a large batch of sangria (maybe 6 gallons?) that will be my gift to them. I instructed them to purchase 30 bottles (10 each of vodka, rum and tequila) and 150 cans of sprite for the drink menu. Drinks will be a fresh watermelon margarita, mojitos, and a peach vodka soda. I will be pureeing watermelon the night before and have batched out about 16 cups of mint lime simple syrup (no I'm not muddling, I'm not stupid.) I am told that someone else will be bringing cases of beer, seltzer, Mike's etc. I have purchased speed pourers, bar mats, glass rimmer, garnish tray, salt, sugar and additional flavor syrups. I'll be bringing my blender but keeping it hidden depending on how demanding the job is. Is there anything I am overlooking here, and do my numbers seem ok for supplies?