From what I've seen, I understand many people would advise me not to ask at all, but I simply can't; I'm sorry.
I am terrified, however, of sounding audacious and entitled. In the email I am drafting to my prof, I've been trying to phrase everything in the most appreciative and understanding way I can. I've tried to be explicit about the fact that my failing grade is wholly my responsibility (I submitted it quite late, resulting in my grade being nuked) and that he is not at all obliged even to consider my request. I'm still paranoid about my tone being off, and now that I've prefaced with that, I'm really not sure how to pose my actual question. I want to explain that a program I want to get into is limited and the grade for this course overall will ruin any chances of that happening, but I can't help but picture his response as something like "so what, that's not my responsibility, and it's your fault." And I know that he absolutely doesn't owe me any favours, I just figured it would not hurt to ask him if there's a possibility of me getting to redo the assignment.
Any help at all is appreciated, thank you so much in advance.

I didn't grow up in the US, and I don't mind the liberals here being slow, surely there will always be someone smarter than me so who am I to say someone is dumb or not?
But I just couldn't get over the "Bowl of Spaghetti" logic typical liberals have. How did they manage to cultivate something like that? It's almost miraculous.
Let's say I want to build a car with an engineering team. First I want the car to be able to run at all, then run reliably, the chassis holds when it runs at moderately high speed like 50 mph, and then I'll think about noises, comfort, and then fuel economy and last, safety in extraordinary circumstances, e.g. what happens when there's a collision during high speed.
This seems to be perfectly logical and reasonably to me. Sure I may have mixed up a few steps but the overall idea is solid.
In other words, no sane team lead would start with "oh how do we ensure everyone escape unscathed during a head on collision? That's just ass backwards.
Now let's talk about abortion. If you are going to make an argument, you should argue from the most cases, then to less frequent cases, to the least significant cases.
The overwhelming majority of women use abortion as a way of contraception. It could be that contraceptives failed, which is highly unlikely but nevertheless possible, or just the "happy-go-lucky" way of life isn't so hunky dory with our reality, where pesky things like consequences exist.
And then you have medical abortions and perhaps even rarer, victims of rape.
Yet in reality practically every single liberals make their argument from the angle:"Oh so you don't even want rape victims to have an abortion?"
What are they trying to say? That it's perfectly normal, at least for them, to begin with "how do I make sure the airplane have anti-gravity scheme that guarantees a safe crash-landing" when designing an aircraft?
Or they already tacitly agree, that abortion for the sake of contraception is completely unacceptable? So they begin with minority cases because other scenarios have been settled?
Similarly, I have run into like a thousand liberals who are all like "oh my oh my the poor people in Bangladesh suffering the aftermath of capitalism and imperialism!" but bringing up poor whites, their own fucking countrymen in the Appalachia, some of whom are just one state line away, they, the exact same group of liberals, are all like "oh fuck those mouthbreather trailer trashes the world would be infinitely better if they all drop dead", every time I hear this, I'm like what? Are you SEEEERIOUS?
Oh and one "reasoning" they use to "justify" their hatred towards the rural/poor whites is that they voted for Trump. But at the same time liberals are all about democracy and everyone should vote, even without citizenship.
PS anyone remember that Ohio case where the little girl who was raped by an illegal, and had to travel out state to get an abortion? Yea it seems that it makes perfect sense liberals are outraged by the "inconvenient abortion" aspect instead of "wait WHAT AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT RAPED A MINOR?" aspect.
What does America teach kids in the public schools? I'm baffled.

I hope this is related enough to Emergency Medicine to be appropriate here, but mods feel free to remove if not appropriate.
My spouse is an EM doc and I'm hoping to get some perspective on what healthy boundaries are for talking about work life with your spouse. For some background-- we're mid 30s and have been together since M1. I'm not ignorant of what the life of an MD is, what residency is like, what being an EM doc during COVID was like, etc. I've been there every step of the way. We've both dealt with some emotionally difficult things in recent years and at times it has really strained our relationship.
We've had periods in the past (especially during residency) where I think my wife expected me to be ok with being an emotional waste dump from what happens at the hospital. And I'm really not ok with that. It's extremely important to think about and process those things, but I don't think we've ever struck a healthy balance where she has talked about it in a healthy way with me and I have the emotional bandwidth to be helpful.
Still, she came home from a shift last week and sort of just tells me a story over dinner "I had a really hard case the other day. A guy in his 40s came in with back pain and <>. Eventually we did a CT and figured out he probably has terminal lung cancer."
Like I'm a person in my mid 30s that has lost people close to me to lung cancer in the last few years. I understand that it was a difficult and sad case, and I legitimately don't want to be unsupportive or callous to that fact. But I have absolutely zero interest whatsoever in hearing this, and you telling it to me isn't doing me any favors. Why do you think this is even remotely close to something I want to talk about after you just got home from being at the hospital all day?
Is this something that all EM couples encounter? Is this a sign that I need to reinforce my own boundaries a little bit better? Am I a callous jerk and don't realize it?
Hoping to get some ideas on how you all process this stuff over the long haul and how it gets talked about in your relationship. TYIA!

And “Try for baby too”!
I was so sad when the patch came to delete this options and now you can’t even do romantic interactions with him.
Even in lore he woohooed with Olive and had a son! (Which is my favourite part of sims lore.)
I do think that seducing him should be a challenge. Maybe like it’s unlocked only after third time you see him. But I would love to try to have a romance with death. Also hybrid babies! It would be so awesome if they would have some supernatural abilities and unique dialogue option about death and maybe sims can became scared after this interaction. And if you have baby with him maybe he comes sometimes to check on them. And if you are in official relationship with him he could spare this sims life. Also maybe interaction “Brag about romance with Grim” after which sims can get negative sentiment like awe and disgust or positive like impressed or respect depending on the sim.
I have many ideas how could this work but I don’t wanna spam everything but anyways.
Just please add back the possibility to make romantic interactions, woohoo and try for baby even without the additional ideas.
Yes Grim Reaper is my favourite NPC and I will kill sims just like Olive Specter only to see him.

My boyfriend and I began having a rocky relationship (currently we have been dating for a year and one month) ever since he started doing things behind my back, he always knew I was against vaping and I understand it's his body and his choice but I expressed I wasn't a fan of it and he decided to quit for a long time and suddenly he felt temptations and started again and kept being caught by me. We began arguing about it one day in his bedroom which resulted in me going into a very heavy dissociated in fear state because he yelled at me. I have unknown psychological issues where when triggered I go into states where I don't know what I am doing and I feel like I'm out of control of my body so I felt stuck in this drowning numb feeling and began acting kind of childlike. Even though we had just had a heated argument I clearly showed I was not in my normal state and he knew about my states and that I didn't know what was I doing during in them and he decided to have sex with me whilst he kept saying "I don't know if this is okay, this feels wrong." And he would ask me if I wanted to be having sex with him during it and I kept saying "I don't know." And he just continued anyways and afterwards I began crying because I had felt violated and from this moment on it started months of misery.
Due to this, I felt it was reasonable to "break up" with him even though I knew I really in reality wouldn't be so I only "broke up" with him for like a day but he decided to go behind my back and go back to his old friends which are these bad people including this girl that had at (18f) was having sex with a (13f) and that whole group he was with were just reckless and horrible influences that clearly supported pedophillia. And since I had as a kid been molested by a female the girl he knew really bothered me and I never would of thought he would go back to them but little did I know, every time he would be ignoring me for hours and being cruel to me and defending that pedophile girls actions saying "it was love, you just don't understand" and saying he would start treating me better, it was all just a lie as he would go behind my back with these weird group of girls and all these girls he was hanging out with he had made out with a bunch of times in the past in spin the bottle games and doing sexual shit with each other in the past. Which I expressed without knowing he was doing it that I would be extremely uncomfortable if he hungout with them especially if he doesn't even allow me to have guy friends and he knows that they're bad people, but of course when I'm asleep after worrying all night of when he would be rude to me next he was out with them, shit talking me and making up lies about me because he didn't like seeming like a bad person so he shifted his insecurities onto me.
On Halloween in of course 2022 my boyfriend and I had decided to do weed which I had done once in the past a few months prior but I didn't know this night would lead into a night of horror because suddenly out of nowhere when I had one cone (in the past I only had half a cone) I believed a delusion that a bunch of time went past and that I wasn't real and I was screaming like I was being murdered uncontrollably for minutes and shouting and asking if I was real and I kept experience weird ticklish sensations all over my body and the whole room didn't look the same and so the ambulance eventually was called and I was hallucinating seeing people and even believing for a short period of time that I was watching a facecam on a discord call and hallucinating people saying my name and to add to the experience the staff weren't treating me well and ignoring me and refused to get me any water or help me up when passing out on a chair.
My boyfriend vowed to never do weed again out of respect for the traumatic experience I went through where for over a month I'd live flashbacks and still believe I was in the moment again and he saw the living hell I went through. I recently yesterday just found out he of course did weed with the old friends he was hanging out with even though he promised he never would. I am so sorry to dump all this I just feel so lost and alone and I'm sick of not having advice from anyone. My boyfriend tends to get angry and take it out on me and take advantage of my attachment to him by saying he will ignore me or go out somewhere in a way to insinuate he could be going behind my back and laughing saying "I do things that I know hurt you in order to get my way." So fucked up to say when I had been put through so much shit from him that's just way too much to be put on this. This is my first time ever making a post on reddit. Thank you so much for reading this and advice would be heavily appreciated on what to do and how I should feel. He doesn't hang out with them anymore and I got him to say he doesn't want to continue his friendship with them back in January this year but I'm still so hurt.

Olette: Nice work everyone. Added to what we started with, we now have…three pennies and a ladybug. Hayner: You’ve got to be kidding me. To make matters worse, the ladybug took two of the pennies and flew off. Everyone could’ve sworn they heard a tiny voice laughing mischievously. Olette:…Ok, make that one penny.
Roxas was swinging a stick and threw it. It hit a hooded individual. Roxas: Oh sorry. The figure started sobbing. ?: You are a meanie! (Runs off to the Sandlot crying.)
Roxas and the others were looking at photos that were recovered by a thief. Pence: It’s a GIRL! Olette: You look happy. Roxas took the picture, crumbled it up and ate it. Hayner: What?! Roxas ran off. Everyone looked at each other in confusion.
Xemnas was asking Roxas something. Xemnas: Roxas, you must fix my computer. Roxas: What about Vexen? Xemnas: He is on a mission. Ten minutes later, a furious Xigbar dragged a dusty Roxas back to Xemnas. Xemnas: What did you do?! Roxas: You know how the computer works on electricity? Well…I used a thunder spell and it blew up. Everyone throughout the castle heard Xemnas yell Roxas’s name at the top of his lungs.
It was Halloween and Xion had something important to say… Xion: Roxas…I have a crush on you. I always had and- Roxas: I’m Ven. We dressed up as each other. Xion: Aw man. Ventus: By the way, he’s behind you. Roxas WAS behind her. He fainted out of shock.
Riku: Take care of her. Sora: I’m not losing you again! Sora jumped through the door as it closed. Sora: Yes! I found you. Riku: Good, now find Donald and Goofy. Sora soon realized his mistake. Meanwhile… Donald: Did Sora just… Goofy: Yep.
Riku: Take care of-OW! The Door to Darkness jammed his foot.
Halloween again. Aqua was giving Ventus another Wayfinder. Aqua: I’m so happy we’re together again. Ven: Aqua… Aqua left to give Terra his Wayfinder. Roxas decided to give the Wayfinder to Ventus. Poor Roxas regretted switching his and Ven’s clothes for Halloween.
Roxas and Axel were on top of the tower reminiscing about Roxas’s first day. Roxas: I acted like a zombie. Axel: Right, that first week, you could barely form a sentence. But come on- Axel patted him on the shoulder but Roxas fell all the way down. Axel:…Whoops.
Roxas: Axel, I think Xion is mad at me for some reason. Axel: Well maybe you pushed her buttons. Roxas didn’t remember playing on her Xbox but he has been known to play video games in his sleep. The next day Axel saw his two friends arguing. Xion: You sleep played with my Xbox?! Roxas: I can’t help it! Maybe Axel should’ve been more specific.
Xemnes: I have the power over nothing…I said nothing…What? That’s odd…Oh well, everyone introduce your powers. Xigbar: I have the power over space. Xaldin: Wind. (Whoosh) Vexen: Ice…No, I’m not Elsa’s Nobody. Lexaus:…Earth… Zexion: Illusion! In fact, I’m not even here. (Fades away.) Saix: Moon. Roxas: Like Sailor Moon? Saix: No. Axel: Fire. Demryx: Water, which is convenient since I am too lazy to buy a water cup. Luxord: Time. Marluxia: Flowers…Yes, flowers. Larxene: Lightning. Roxas: And finally I’m light. Xion: Me too!
Larxene: I’m supposed to teach you magic but I don’t want to. Go to Hogwarts. See you in seven years. (7 Hours Later.) Roxas: I graduated.
Xion: I can’t use the Keyblade! Roxas: Oh no! (Next Day) Xion: I can use the Keyblade. Roxas: Well that’s fast. 14. Sora was bribing Aladdin. Aladdin: Fine. Genie, I wish Sora had a genie with unlimited wishes. 15. Ventus was looking around Dwarf Woodlands when he saw an old lady. Ventus: Have you seen a guy named Terra? Lady: No, but can you give this apple to Snow White? Ven: Sure. He found Snow White and gave her the apple. As soon as he left, she plopped to the ground.
Roxas: Who else will I have Ice Cream with? Xion suddenly stopped fading. Xion: Axel, Saix, their somebodies, those three kids you see around Twilight Town? Oh, and me.
Lexaus was in his room. Lexaus When you walk away You don't hear me say please Oh baby, don't go Simple and clean is- Roxas was right behind him with a camera. He ran off as soon as Lexaus saw him. Later… Lexaus: Where’s Roxas?! Xion: I don’t know? Don’t you? You are Simple and Clean. That’s why Aeleus doesn’t like Roxas.
Vanitas: Prepare to die Ventus! Ven: Can I take a break? Ven started break dancing much to the confusion of Vanitas who just stood there. Meanwhile, Aqua was baton twirling her Keyblade. Braig: Are we gonna fight or what? And as for Xehanort he was asleep while waiting for Terra to finish his 7000 push-ups.
Terra was reading when he heard Ven scream at the top of his lungs. He ran up to Ven’s room and saw a Shadow. Terra: Daaaaaaw… Ven: It’s a Heartless! Terra: It’s so cute! Terra went over to pet the Shadow before it pounced on him. Terra: Not Cute! Not Cute! Not Cute!
Eugene was dying. Rapunzel was trying to bring him back. Eugene: Hey, Rapunzel… Rapunzel: What? Eugene: You were my new dream. Rapunzel: And you were mine. Then Eugene felt something. Eugene: I’m ok! Sora: Well duh, I just used Curaga.
Aqua saw Sora and Riku and jumped off the bridge which sprained her ankle. Aqua: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! WHY DID I DO THAT?! OOOOOWWWWW! Sora: Should we get help? Aqua: No, C-Cuuuuuuraaaaaaaaga! Unfortunately, saying the spell that way made her leg go backwards. All three of them screamed at it.
Eraqus was giving his students their Keyblade Armours. Terra: Why do they look like rejected Power Ranger outfits? Eraqus: Well I always wanted a Power Ranger Team.
Aqua kissed a sleeping Ven and he woke up. Aqua: My kiss worked. Ven: What? Did you just-? Ven ran away screaming. Ven: COOOOOOOTIIIIIEEEESS!!!!!! Terra and Eraqus saw him ran past them. Terra: Hey look, Ven’s awake. Eraqus: Must be the power of cooties.
Sora won the Phill Cup in Olympus Coliseum and everyone cheered…and by that I mean disembodied voices. Sora: Where’s this cheering coming from? Hercules: Them. Sora immediately left.
Aqua caught Ven who was dropped off a cliff by Xehanort. Aqua: Ven, are you ok? Ven: I’m a human popsicle and I hit some rocks during my fall! What do you think?! Aqua: Oh, I guess not.

I thought he was going to be safe.
(book spoiler) He's only supposed to die in Rule of Wolves. (this was bad enough)
But nevertheless it is heavily implied that David Kostyk is dead by S2E7. (whyyyyyyyyy)
So why would they push his death up right after going through his whole character arc and finally communicating properly with Genya?? It felt like they put it in purely for shock factor and to remind viewers that they have the power to kill whomever they like. (and also to make us bawl; what business did they have showing his engagement ring plans???)
And the thing is, because it happened so late in the season, we lose out on Genya dealing with her grief which is a highlight of RoW.
On the other hand there are so many theories that he's not dead, primary evidence being that they never found a body. (yayyyy?)
And the little hope I have is kindled by the fact that if they're going to go though all the trouble of faking his death then there's no way they'd actually kill him off later.
Any thoughts?
(P.S. if it wasn't obvious I love David and Genya)

So over the years of being in the work force I've learned some things. Companies hire recruiting companies. Those companies make money by getting employees for those companies. Sometimes those companies may even have more then one recruiter working to find people for the same position so its a competition for the recruiter to get their candidate in that role.
They make money when a company hires you. You are the product, you are what is being sold.
So how can you leverage this to your advantage?
Be friendly with a recruiter, ask them questions! Those questions can be things like "how can I improve my resume" "any recommendations on the interview?" "What traits did this company say is really important to them?"
The recruiter wants the company to HIRE one of their candidates, so if they can make you look better...then that improves their chances of making money.
Also if a company passes on you...don't give up on the recruiter. No seriously go back to the recruiter and say "I see XYZ decided not to move forward with me, is there anything I could do next time to improve my chances?" also ask things like "I understand XYZ decided not to move forward with me, do you have any positions with any other company that are similar?"
I landed a great job doing this once. Recruiter contacted me, company interviewed me, didn't move forward with me. I reached out to the recruiter, a week later she called me back and said "Great news, I got a position for you with a different company"
Actually it was for more money.
Also recruiters are generally paid a % of WHAT you make. So the higher offer you accept generally the better for them.
This only applies for external recruiters, however internal recruiters can also be an asset. Maybe the company passed on you this time, but maybe 2nd time is a charm.

Let me cut to the chase. I have definitely felt burnt out as a woman in tech. Often times, I worked long hours, had people take credit for my work, and just didn't feel as passionate about the work (coding) as other people did. It was exhausting to be in a career where I was constantly worried about whether I was good enough, especially as the only woman on the team.
​
Does this resonate with you? (I bet it does because unfortunately, cause this is so, so common). If you're in need of a sounding board, guidance, or some hope of how to make things better, I'm here for you. I coach women in tech to feel fulfilled and empowered. It's not always easy, but my god, it is possible. I went from feeling so utterly exhausted to being proud of my work, confident, and hopeful.
​
Message me! Happy to talk through what coaching is and what you're going through.
Sarah

Hallo my lovelies! Paulie, your friendly, neighborhood, British Expat, Princess-Bride loving, hat-wearing, tea-drinking, TTRPG-gaming mod here.
Reddit recently launched an "Insights" function for mods that tell us all about how well our community is doing, activities of mods, etc. For those of you interested in the "meta" of how this place runs, here are some of the stats.

Community Growth and Views

• We have around half a million pageviews of our content a month, about 125,000 views a week. Over the last year, we achieved almost five million views!
• We have between 4,500 and 5,500 visitors here each day. Our highest month for visits was January - probably writers looking to start a new career in a new year. Welcome!
• People visit by various means - most to least popular are: New Reddit (web), iOS, Mobile Web, Android, Old Reddit.
• Just over 500 people subscribe to this sub per week, and around 130 people unsubscribe (we still love you!)
• Projecting out, that means we can expect member counts to grow by around 20,000 people a year.
• We're in the "Top 1%" of subreddits, ranked by size. this means we're in the top 1,500 subreddits on the site. myog malelifestyle and stocktips are just ahead of us. actionfigures and ferrets are nipping at our heels.

Team Health (Moderators)

Alright, here's what myself, u/gigmistress and u/daniealmattiawriter get up to!
We receive around 700 modmail messages a year, and send around 1,200 a year (the disparity is because we often hold discussions among ourselves in modmail).
In terms of mod activities, it turns out I am the laziest mod! (hangs head in shame), whereas u/gigmistress is our busiest, and u/danielmattiawriter is in the middle. Here's how many actions we each took over the last year:

• u/GigMistress: 3,700 actions taken in total: 65 content approvals, 179 content removals, 3,300 content creation (posts, comments), 126 modmails, 29 other mod actions (bans, mutes, mod notes, etc.)
• u/DanielMattiaWriter: 3,200 actions taken in total: 223 content approvals, 590 content removals, 1,600 content creation (posts, comments), 340 modmails, 394 other mod actions (bans, mutes, mod notes, etc.)
• Paulie the slacker: 2,700 actions taken in total: 254 content approvals, 415 content removals,1,600 content creation (posts, comments), 238 modmails, 141 other mod actions (bans, mutes, mod notes, etc.)

This means that in total the mods take almost 10,000 actions a year for the community. This includes approving just over 500 posts and removing around 1,200 posts or comments. This is in addition to posts / comments that are auto-removed by AutoMod for breaking our rules.

Community Health

Our community members successfully publish around 300 posts a month, about 10 a day. Our members comment just over 4,000 times a month, and we have about five posts and 12 comments reported every month.
Post approvals and removals
It might surprise you to know that almost half of all posts submitted are removed by us or (in the vast majority of cases) our automoderator for breaking our rules. In the last year, 2,700 posts were successfully published, while 2,400 posts were removed. Members are welcome to appeal any removed posts to us, and if they meet our rules, we will approve them.
Comment approvals and removals
The vast majority of comments are not autoremoved. In the last 12 months, we had more than 40,000 comments published, and fewer than 3,000 are removed.
​
Alright, I think that's it! Feel free to comment on any of this stuff and we'll share our thoughts. After all, it's not like I am doing anything else ;)

My husband & I had some issues when we were dating regarding him shutting me out when things got hard. I feel like this behavior is a continuous issue but now I’m thinking it may be connected to him being unfaithful.
We recently got a house and we were doing okay the first couple months. However, the last three weeks were really bad. We were both feeling drained from working, we have a 1 year old, and just feel like we are going through the motions everyday. We both are working jobs we aren’t happy with and he just took on a second job. We were in a little slump but I thought we could get out of it by just spending some one on one time together and just talking about everything & persevering through this together.
However, he just completely shut down. He started getting distant and not texting me throughout the day or calling me after work and not coming home right away and then one night he just didn’t come home. It was like he was a different person. He had no emotions and didn’t even apologize for staying out all night (he said he was at his parents and acted like I shouldn’t be mad at him). After that day we barely talked for the last three weeks. He started sleeping on the couch & eventually brought a sleeping bag and started sleeping in our extra room.
I tried to talk to him and figure out what went wrong. I knew he was stressed but he didn’t need to respond to it this way. I just wanted to be there for him as his wife but he was acting like I didn’t exist.
He always just said they were “his problems not mine” he “didnt even know who he was” “he doesn’t even love himself” just a bunch of negative comments. He’s done this before and I don’t want to seem insensitive but to me it always just feels like an excuse for his behavior. I think he still wants to be young and free and sometimes feels chained down by marriage.
I found out he had redownloaded snapchat and I kept catching him in white lies. He told me he wasn’t snap chatting this one specific girl who has caused problems w/ our relationship in the past but then a few days later I found out he actually was snap chatting her. When I asked to see his Snapchat he said yes but then when he saw I was serious he back tracked and said no. (I only asked to see after the second night he didn’t come home) we also have cameras outside our house that are connected to our phones and send us notifications when there is movement. He changed the password and blocked me out so I now have no access. He basically didn’t want me seeing when he comes and goes from the house. There have been transactions on his bank account at Waffle House at 5:00 am and several nights he didn’t get home until very late.
Every time we were at the house at the same time he would just be silent and not even give me the time of day. I tried multiple times to get through to him and asked him to come back to bed, nothing worked.
I was very drained and since this wasn’t the first time this kind of thing has happened & I felt like he was creating trust issues I don’t know if I can get past, I told him I wanted a divorce. The next day he started acting different/nice. We had a talk and he said he wanted to talk to a counselor. He said he’s fighting battles and needs help. He said he never did anything physical with anybody else but he thought about it. I told him I still didn’t know if I believed he didn’t actually do anything and he said “did someone tell you something?” I thought that was a weird reaction and kind of telling on himself. But he said there’s a rumor going around work about him & a girl so he thought maybe somebody was petty and told me (I’ve only been to his work a handful of times and don’t personally know any of them so nobody would tell me anything). But he said he’s been talking to this new girl & people blew it out of proportion and acted like he was flirting so they spread a rumor. (I feel like I would be dumb to believe that. I bet he 100% slept with her). There’s a lot more I’m probably leaving out but he’s basically now coming back to me saying he wants me and our relationship and he’s sorry and going to get help but doesn’t blame me if I still want to leave. I am just at a loss and kind of want to know if based on this information if it seems obvious to other people that he’s lying and cheating or that he seems to be genuinely struggling and by walking away I would be leaving someone I love to suffer alone.

I wonder if my acceptance could do any good, or if people could forgive her thanks to it.
The reason I don’t mind this at all, is because the world is very wide, and the fact I learned my own history but did not learn Korea’s, and so would never know to avoid any design similar to the rising sun if I went there, is exactly the same as what happened to her now. Except it happened from her towards me.
There are many countries in the world and many signs with a horrible meaning that probably I use every day without knowing that. Too many to count, probably.
I know she had no intention to associate with any of it, and that she thought that was a mere star sign. I want us all to be more forgiving and understanding towards each other, and not to be harsh to unreasonable degrees.
I personally think it makes more sense that we understand this, than, that we expect idols to be supervised to not mention anything that once in history, associated with something bad in South Asia, or, Europe, the US, South America, Africa, the Middle East, West Asia, or the Slavic nations.
This really, had nothing to do with history. In her case, this is a mere star. A star that happens to look like a certain thing that is sad for me. I wholeheartedly, and easily, forgive her for it.
In conclusion, I think she did nothing wrong, and I don’t expect idols to do anything different next time. I’m glad she accepted the calls for a response to it because I’m sure some people felt worse than I do, but for me even if she didn’t say anything, I know what she meant. And I sincerely hope she knows that, and doesn’t feel horrible over what happened.

i've always been a chubby girl. and honestly, i never cared.
i always loved to cook, and I have a sweet tooth. I like to eat pizza or eat a slice of cake, but i also love fruits. i always knew how to divide my eating habits.
until highschool started.
i started to notice that all the girls were skinny and had long hair, and had perfect skin. those were the girls that had boyfriends. and its obvious for many friends of mine that i'm a hopeless romantic. i look forward to a highschool romance, and i have less than a year to live that before going to college.
and here he gets into the story. this year, this guy joined our school, and he is simply adorable. he is one of the nicest guys i've ever met. he likes my art, and he admires that i'm a writer. he is everything i wanted in a boy. although i'm not the only one. there are many girls liking him as well. and all of them are skinny and beautiful, and i feel bad about it, because i think that maybe he won't like me because i'm slightly overwheight.
it started. i started counting calories, drinking more water, eating way less than i used to (and tbh, i was never much of a big eater.). but nothing changed, and he didn't look at me. i started doing makeup (not heavy ones, only concealer blush and mascara), wearing more skirts and even putting perfume on daily. but nothing ever changed.
and then it hit me. no guys ever asked to go out with me. the one who asked me left me waiting the whole afternoon and never showed up. maybe that was because i was not skinny. all of my ex friends had multiple guys asking to go out with them, and i was always left aside due to that. no guys ever liked me back, and i think its because i'm chubby.
i look at myself in the mirror and i start to take notice of all the little things that boys wouldn't like. I have stretchmarks on my thighs, my belly is divided in two (due to stretched stomach tissue), i have body hair (i have testosterone problems as well) and i have little scars on my arms from my skin picking. my thighs are too big, and my arms are too fat. i feel like my shoulders are really wide, and i feel unproportional.
to make it worst, parents and relatives. holy shit, they say they are the most supporting people in the world, although they are the ones who always say that "boys like skinny girls." . and i'm part of a latin family, so those comments are in the middle of nothing.
i'm not even talking about my interests, because thats not even the subject. i'm a movie enthusiast. i like animations and i love reading. but the girls that are considered pretty are "nOt LiKe oThEr GiRls" , y'know? they watched wednesday, don't like pink like other girls, and are "one of the boys". really. that leaves me pissed, because those are the most annoying types of people i've ever met, and those are the girls that get boyfriends. i feel bad. i know it's because of my body, boys just care about appearances these days, and i know it. i have some friends that tell me they didn't go out with some girls because they're fat, or that they wouldn't go out with girls that have out with stretchmarks. i hope the guy i'm having a crush on is different. i hope he likes me for who i am one day. but still, i'm trying to change myself. last time i ate was last night, and i'm only eating lunch for today.
i don't know if i need to hear something or if i just need to take it off of my chest, but i hope i somehow find a solution to this.

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Robert Edwin House, 261, President, CEO, and sole proprietor of the New Vegas Strip, industrialist and technologist, founder, President, and CEO of the multi-billion-dollar pre-war robotics and software corporation, RobCo Industries, has died.
Generally recognized by Mr. House to be mankind's only hope of long-term survival, Mr. House passing may well sound a death knell for the entire human race.
Lost forever is his bounty of knowledge concerning human longevity, the depth and breadth which could, as he was apt to say, "fill several text books." He was not exaggerating. Though he did not achieve his goal of functional immortality, let us not forget that he died at the age of 261. I mean, come on.
Also lost forever are House's singular personality, force of will, vision, and leadership ability. The probability of an equally capable figure emerging from the current human population to lead mankind to a future of equivalent quality is less than 0.000112% by objective measures too complex to detail in this obituary.
Personality and force of will: Born June 25th, 2020, House was orphaned at an early age when his parents died in a freak accident (auto gyro, lighting). Though cheated out of his inheritance, House attended the prestigious Institute in Massachusetts and founded RobCo Industries on his 22nd birthday. Within five years, it was one of the most profitable corporations on Earth.
Vision: By 2065, House was certain that an atomic war would soon devastate the planet. At great personal expense, he developed technologies to ensure the structural integrity of the city of Las Vegas (as it was known at the time). On thr day of the great war, 77 atomic warheads targeted the city. Mr. House defeated them all. Talk about vision!
Leadership: Mr. House survived the war, of course, and would later recruit the Three Families, negotiate the Treaty of New Vegas, and rebuild the Vegas Strip. While these achievements yielded many immediate benefits, they were all part of House's master plan to re-ignite mankind's quest for technological advancement, a plan without which the human race has nowhere to go, and nowhere to turn.
/// Will revise and finish this later. Have set the age at death to update automatically. Obit makes salient points but "pearls before swine," of course. Let's hope the ingrates never have cause to read it. Who knows how many of them are even literate!

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I waited for something to happen. My knees bent and my eyes gazed across the dunes waiting to run. But beyond the sound of the swaying bell and the water trickling out to sea, everything was still.
“You know what’s happening?” I called out to Alessia, still monitoring the tops of the dunes.
Alessia paused, then huffed. “No. I see nothing.” I heard her take a few steps through the sand towards me. “That bell does nothing.”
I walked towards the guard, shouting so I’d be heard over the metal clanging next to his ear. “What’s happening? What’s the bell for?”
“All visitors must report to the council headquarters. You can find the council headquarters on the western side of the island.”
I let out a hot breath of anger and turned away. “We can sit here all day listening to the ringing or go somewhere else.”
Alessia cocked her head. “Maybe we should go find this council office. He seems keen on us going there.”
I rolled my eyes and began trudging back up the dune away from the small river and the alluring artefact behind us. I leaned my head down, concentrating on each step, watching my feet sink into the soft sand on every step, grains tumbling down the slope in my wake. Half-way through the grind, I glanced forward to see a man silhouetted in the bright light of the sun.
I squinted until I could make out the details. His face was lined with thick wrinkles, and he had a mop of loose grey curls that fell to the base of his neck. A loose beige shirt with sleeves too long for his arms hung loosely across his thin frame.
Stretching out a hand, I tapped Alessia on the shoulder. She stopped and looked up. “Can we help you?”
“You will need to wait till two representatives are present,” the man replied in a firm but croaky voice.
“Two representatives?” I looked between the man and the guard at the bottom of the dune. “It looks like we have that.” I pointed between them.
“You will need to wait till two representatives are present.”
My eyes sealed shut with frustration. “Is that all you’ve got to say?”
He was silent for a second. Then, “You will need to wait till two representatives are present.”
“No. Sorry.” I leaned over and placed a hand on Alessia’s arm pulling her forward. “Done with this.” I turned slightly away from the man, cutting a path past him to the left.
He responded, pacing along the top of the dune to intercept us. He held out his arms so that the sleeves of his baggy shirt draped like a cloak “You will need to wait till two representatives are present.”
I tensed my cheeks, ensuring they only opened so far as to not scream. “If it’s fine with you, we’re going to find someone who can actually speak.” I tried to walk around him, but he sidestepped to cut me off.
“You will need to wait till two representatives are present.” He glanced over our shoulders and nodded.
Turning, I could see a woman on the other side of the dune. She was younger, with short, clipped strawberry-blonde hair.
“Is she another representative? Can we talk now?”
“You will need to wait till two representatives are present.”
I raised my arms in protest. “There’s three of you now,” I shouted.
The man turned to his left and called out as loudly as his elderly lungs could. “Yamil, hurry up if you can. They’re getting restless.”
My eyes bulged. “So you can talk.”
“You will need to wait till two representatives are present.”
My arms tensed and my hands wrung with anger as the man stood his ground in front of us.
“Just wait,” Alessia sighed, her shoulders slumped. “See what happens.”
We watched the woman descend the dunes, cross the stream, and then slowly climb the other side towards us. It was a long, awkward wait, watching her trudge through soft sands, the three of us standing in silence.
Finally, she got close enough for the man to exhale and his body relax. “Thank you for waiting. We need both members present to hold a conversation.”
“Why-“ I cut myself off. “Wait. There’s a body. A body down there. In the sand-“
“We know,” said the man in a calm but resigned tone.
“Who is it?” Alessia asked..
“The former guard,” the woman, Yamil, said as she arrived. “Few months ago a man arrived on the island and shot him. He wanted to get to the ship.”
I raised my eyebrows and looked to Alessia. “Sannaz?”
She nodded, turning to face the ship and the current guard, now returned to their relaxed position. “He’s been dead for months? Why didn’t you move him?”
“We couldn’t agree on what to do with him,” the man nodded calmly.
“Bury them? Cremate them?” I blinked rapidly. “Something?”
“The Council considered all those options.” The man gave the same accompanying nod. “But we couldn’t come to an agreement.”
“The Council?”
“There are ten villages on the island,” Yamil said, folding her arms. “Each one sends one person to the council.”
“And the council couldn’t decide on what to do with a dead body? So you just…” I looked back down at the patch of sand - too far away to make out the hand in any detail, but I was certain I could see the point where the bone poked through the surface. “…left him?”
“We took a vote.” The man turned to Yamil, checking for her confirmation. “Eight for burial, one for cremation, one for placing them in plain sight as a warning. That right?”
“Yes, Fidel.” Yamil replied.
My eyes narrowed, the brows meeting at the bridge of my nose. “Why didn’t you go with the vote?”
“We didn’t agree.” Fidel responded with equal confusion.
Yamil stepped in. “If we don’t all agree, then we don’t go ahead. Everyone has to agree.” Her face flinched slightly as she spoke.
“It’s the only way to stop the majority taking advantage of everyone. If we all have to agree then one-half can’t take advantage of the other half.” Fidel puffed his chest, recalling an old mantra.
I could feel a familiar heat in my veins, and I tried to temper it as I spoke. “You get together. You discuss something. And if any one of you disagrees, you do nothing.”
“Correct.” The nod seemed more enthusiastic.
“And you couldn’t tell us that till now because…?”
Yamil responded in a dour monotone. “Regular citizens aren’t allowed to speak to people from outside the island. They could do things or say things that would be only in their own interests.”
“What’s good for one person - what might even be good for the majority - can still harm some,” Fidel preached. “We must protect those who otherwise would have no voice. Here, everyone has a voice. Everyone is protected.”
I thought of the bones poking through the sand, but I said nothing.
Alessia let out a quiet, almost inaudible grumble. “So how come you can speak to us? Where’s the rest of the council?”
“We understand that at some point someone has to speak to outsiders,” Fidel said gruffly. “As long as two council members were present to witness, we could provide outsiders with information.”
I pushed the oddities from my mind, trying to refocus. “Does that mean you can give us access to the ship?”
Yamil shook her head. “That would require a council vote.”
“And agreement from all ten of them?” Alessia added.
Yamil nodded.
Alessia sucked air between her teeth. “We’re trying to track down the man who killed that guard. Your guard. Your own citizen. We’ll take nothing, cause no damage. We’re just trying to stop-”
“You’ll need council approval,” Fidel interrupted.
“How do we get that?”
Yamil looked to Fidel and wrinkled her nose. “I’ll get word out to the eastern side if you send people to the north. Get them together tomorrow night?”
Fidel bowed his head. “Agreed.”
“Tomorrow?” The words left my mouth tasting of relief.
“Around sunset.” Yamil smiled. “Put your case to the council. If all ten approve, then you can go ahead.”
“And if one says no?” Alessia asked, pulling back one side of her mouth.
Yamil let out a small chuckle. “Then bad luck.”
——————————————————————————
We returned to the boat and waited. We watched as the sun pushed across the sky, fell, and rose again. All the while, in the distance, that vessel loomed over us, calling me like a beacon.
Some connection to Sannaz was right there. Though, I also knew that something else pulled me towards that boat. The connection to the old world.
I spent the day staring at the ancient boat the way a child might study a present, trying to figure out its contents and its purpose from the outside, knowing I would always have to wait till it was unwrapped.
As evening came we trekked across the island to our appointment. The headquarters looked like a large barn: two storeys tall, and no longer than the length of Alessia’s boat. There were no signs outside, no lavish windows, no murals. Just two large wooden doors the same colour as the walls.
The inside was the same four wooden walls surrounding a stone floor. Looking up, I could see the evening sky through thin cracks in the woods. Near the far end, a couple of planks had half-rotted away, their ends broken off. Thin strands of wood dangled above the floor revealing a perfect window to the arriving starscape. Below the spot, there was a darkened patch of the stone where a decade of rain water had left a permanent stain.
“Welcome,” said Fidel, noticing us enter. “Please, have a seat.” He pointed to a patch of dusty stone floor to his left.
The rest of the council sat in a circle. There were no seats. Some sat on the floor, one or two had brought cushions with them, another sat on an upturned log.
As we joined, Fidel began the meeting. “All ten council members are here. Yotese Over Haven was founded on the principle that all islanders from all ten villages are equal in power. No one should be compelled to go along with anything they do not approve of. We move as one or not at all.” He lowered his head and looked around the circle. “As per the guidelines we’ll open the floor for discussion topics before we move to dignitary business. Are there any proposals?”
One woman raised her hand slowly. “I’d like to propose sending a group to look into trading with Eglowe Needles. They may be in need of timber and we have plenty.”
“You do,” I heard Yamil mutter under her breath. The room ignored her.
“Very well,” Fidel replied. “Those in favor of debating this topic raise your hand.” Seven hands went up. Three stayed down.
“No consensus,” Fidel announced. “Next.”
Yamil raised an arm like a bolt. “I’d like to rediscuss repairs to the southern village.”
A few of the circle sighed. One man groaned.
“Those in favor of debating this topic raise your hand.”
Eight went up.
“No consensus.”
Yamil’s hand immediately raised again. “In that case I’d like to rediscuss the replacement of livestock in the Southern village.” The words were fast, repeated to instinct.
“Again?” one man moaned.
Yamil’s eyes bulged in his direction, reaching out to attack. “Yes. And I’ll keep proposing it until we discuss it.”
Fidel held up a palm to try and calm the mood. “Those in favor of debating this topic raise your hand.”
Eight hands raised. Yamil stared at the detractors, her head shaking from side to side, biting her lip.
“No consensus. Any other proposals?”
The room went quiet, stewing in the uneasy and dusty air.
Fidel seemed to count in his head until enough time had passed. “Very well. As was agreed by this council thirty-three years ago, dignitaries of foreign nations do not need to propose a topic and can present to the council. Therefore, I would like to ask our guests to speak.”
I stood up, unsure of the correct protocol, and nodded to the council members. Then, piece by piece, I laid out our story. We believed the ship would help us find a dangerous man, a man who had already attacked three islands and could hurt many more, a man who had already murdered one of their own. I tried to keep my voice passive, keep my own losses - Lachlann, Thomas - out of the story. Keep to what was pertinent to the room, not to me.
Fidel nodded and took a deep breath. “Those who wish to open the floor to questions, raise your hands.”
A smattering of hands raised. Maybe half. Too few.
“No consensus. Then we move to the vote. Those in favor of granting access to the ship raise your hand.”
I watched as hands raised. Yamil gave a limp raise of her arm quickly. Fidel followed slowly, but with a straight elbow. One by one I could see the machinations of those on the fence eventually lift their hand to the sky. Then I looked to the woman to my left. Her head was lowered, her hands in her lap. She didn’t move.
Then across the circle I saw Yamil lower her hand. “I withdraw my vote,” she said.
“What?” I called out. “You invited us here.”
“I’m going to ask you to remain silent during voting.” Fidel spoke calmly, looking round the circle. “Eight for. Two against. No consensus.”
“We need to get in there,” I interrupted. “People’s lives could be in danger.”
“The matter has been discussed,” Fidel waved his arm dismissively. He returned to a more formal voice. “The meeting is adjourned. Thank you for coming everyone.”
“No. Please. Vote again.”
“We voted. There was no consensus.”
“Eight of you said we could go. Yamil was fine too to start with, that’s nine.”
“There was no consensus.” Fidel repeated slowly, as though I had merely not understood.
“Can’t you use some common sense? At least give us an explanation.” I could feel Aslessia place a hand on my arm, pulling me away. I shirked it off.
“There was no consensus.”
I walked towards Fidel, getting in his eyeline. “What now then? What are we supposed to do?”
“Now?” He lifted an eyebrow. “You leave.”
The Archipelago is posted every Wednesday
previous chapter / contents / patreon

Didn’t get any feedback on the other sub I posted to, so posting here in the chance someone has experience with this: I have a general idea based on different website’s estimates but just want to hear from real people. I’m doing mixed arrangements, probably some roses, carnations, greenery, etc.
Here’s what I’m estimating:
6 bridesmaid bouquets (20 stems/bouquet)- 120 stems
Bridal bouquet- 30 stems
6 medium centerpieces (20 stem/centerpiece)- 120 stems
6 tall arrangements (40 stems/arrangement)- 240 stems
Total stem count- 510 stems
This seems like a lot and isn’t including extra I may need to cover for any flowers that arrive dead/can’t be used. Thoughts?

Loneliness is a feeling that can be hard to define, and it can stem from a variety of factors. Is being surrounded by many people enough, or do we need specific types of relationships to combat loneliness? Some people may find that they need close, meaningful relationships with others who share similar values and interests. Others may need to focus on building a sense of purpose or belonging, or working on their mental health. Ultimately, the question of how to overcome loneliness is complex. Let's discuss: what is loneliness, and how can we overcome it?

I just want to read stories about how someone (or several people) played a critical role for you with a positive outcome, big or small. What was it they did? How and how much did it impact you? Did they ever know about it? How do you look back on it? Where are they now?

This post contains massive spoilers for the movie Oldboy (2003).
Finally watched Oldboy for the first time last night with my friend and I really enjoyed it, can’t say the same for my friend though. Although he did make a fair point.
How was Mido not able to figure out that Dae-Su was her father? If he told her his story about being in the prison for 15 years and being framed for his wife’s murder, wouldn’t she put it together knowing that her father mysteriously disappeared 15 years ago? And her mother was supposedly killed by said father?
The only explanation I can think of is that the hypnosis erased her memory of all that, but I don’t remember them saying that it did that.
Did I miss something?

so many people are “trying to get” their sp or get back together with them or change them but you must understand that you can’t. you can’t do anything but what you do with yourself.
everything that is expressed in the world is SELF and self is everything you believe you have and are. therefore you change what you BELIEVE you have.
you don’t change the world, the people, you don’t make anything happen, you don’t try to get. you either are who you want to be or you aren’t.
this is why bryguy tells you to believe because that is what you get since that is all that is expressed in the world.
you don’t believe to GET them either. that’s not how it works. you believe to change YOU, to change what YOU believe. then people show up to prove to you that you are what you believe.
believe to change YOU, not the world. then the world will mould itself to prove to you that you are what you believe you are. it’s why circumstances don’t matter and why it’s nothing to do with your sp because it’s not about them, it’s about what you believe.

I want to share some more thoughts after I received a lot of positive feedback on my last post here (if you haven't read it, you can find it on my profile). This one is for the dumpees who are so deep into their suffering they think they'll never fully heal. And this one is also for those who battle with mean thoughts like those of total hopelessness or even suicidal ideation. Please note that I am not a licensed therapist, so I want you to talk to one in case you feel suicidal. But here's my take:
I have been in that place before. Like you, I was so hurt I lost my faith in humanity and felt so lonely I considered ending my life. That was years ago, and as I am still standing today despite all that I had to endure, you too are able to keep standing. See, a lot of people I loved did hurt me in my past: I have been cheated on by several women I loved. I have been tossed like a fruit after investing years in building a relationship with some of my ex partners. Some of these women were so ruthless and uncompassionate, their actions caused pretty severe (mental/emotional) scars. And for quite a while, I hated being that scarred, cause I thought of myself as someone who's just too f....ed up to ever get better.
Then I had an experience which changed my life: As I am quite an adventurous guy who likes to engage in activities such as mountain climbing or motorcycling, I eventually had an accident so severe that I ended up injuring myself so bad that my legs did not work anymore and I had to spend years in a wheelchair and dealing with revalidation/physiotherapy and all. I count almost a dozen surgical procedures as of today, and looking back, I still get the shivers when thinking about that one day the doctors told me: "You will never walk again." Back then I literally collapsed in the sickbed and spent the next months crying and lamenting. After all, I would never be the same. At least that is what I thought for a long time, thinking about giving up about a bazillion times. Recovering from surgery after surgery caused so much physical pain. The exercises and mobilisation techniques applied to my legs did, too. Mentally I reached a point where I thought there'd never be an end to all of that misery, and not even the most loyal and supportive friends managed to keep my spirits high. I eventually started thinking about managing my expectations and cried yet again when I realised that even going for a simple walk out in the summer sun now seems as difficult as climbing a 3000+ meter tall mountain.
Fast forward to today: After fighting my way back out of a wheelchair and consequently fighting to first drop one and than another crutch, I can tell you that I went on that very sunny walk now that spring has come. My legs are still causing me pain and I wear a lot of physical scars from all the surgeries, but I finally reached that point where I proved all those doctors as well as my "old mind" wrong: I do walk again. Maybe not as elegantly as prior to the accident, but I walk. Believing the doctors when they told me I would never walk again now simply means that I was in the wrong for a long, long time.
So what does that have to do with breakups? Well, just like not believing that one will ever walk again, you might believe that you will never find happiness and true love ever again. Your scars might not be physical, still your mind might not look like the healthy mind you knew before you got hurt so badly. So chances are that you are like I was during my recovery: Stuck in the mentality of a victim, making yourself believe that you will never heal. Please get me right: I am not saying you aren't a victim. Of course you are, because somebody hurt you, maybe betrayed you and destroyed your capacity to trust others. You've been wronged, big time. And I certainly acknowledge your hurt, fears and worries. But here's the deal:
You can flip this thing around. See, for a loooooooong time I looked at my physical scars in disgust - I simply interpreted them as "bad" signs. As if I got a branding which is supposed to remind me of what I had and presumably never will get back: The ability to walk. You might look at your emotional scars as reminders of how you have been mistreated and might interpret them as symbol for never being able to recover from your broken heart and/or trust. Maybe right now, your scars seem to you as if they were messengers telling you that you'll never be whole again. And that approach is wrong. It will keep you stuck in your suffering and increase your pain unnecessarily. So here is what I want you to do:
Understand that your scars are reminders of how tough and capable you are. The reason you have been scarred in the first place is that you once were willing to take risks, trusting in adventures and uncertainty. You only got hurt because you exposed yourself to the world and happened to have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and of course with the wrong person. So understand that you once had a lot of courage and guts, because despite the risk of getting hurt, you opened yourself up, allowed yourself to be vulnerable and simply ended up with a bit of bad luck. If you lock yourself up today, trying to avoid taking further risks, thinking that opening yourself up to other people will just result in experiencing the same trauma yet again, you are worse off than back in the days when you still had the guts to expose yourself to the world and maybe take a beating. Your scars don't tell the story of how damned and brutal the world is - they are a reminder of your old, courageous and proud self. Back then you were no victim, no coward, no self-loathing and self-pitying, lost soul. You were a king or queen who used to be strong enough to expose him-/herself to the risk of getting their heart torn apart. And only because you were so courageous, you ended up scarred. So the next time you feel as if you took too much of a beating, look at your scars and tell yourself that they are, in essence, nothing else but medals you earned for being that courageous individual. They don't make you less of a person - the contrary is the case: They decorate you.
See, so many people never take up activities like riding a motorcycle or climbing a mountain because they are afraid to get hurt or to even die. I never felt like that before the accident, but certainly did for a long time after the accident. I lost my confidence just like you might have lost yours in terms of dating and exposing yourself to others who, of course, might eventually hurt you. But isn't it horrible to think that not experiencing any adventure or risk in life is worth wasting that very life dwelling in the misery that comes with the illusion of safety and protection?
Again, I used to think and feel like this. I even hoped to "exit" life because I wanted the pain to end. I was tired, broken, without a grain of confidence in me. Looking back, I understand that this mindset was wrong. Because despite all the difficulties and pain, I did change what I thought could never change. And the same goes for you: You might not be half way there - but take a good look at yourself: The fact that you are reading this means that you have not yet given up. There is a spark in you that pushes you forward, because if you truly would not want to get better, you also would not take the time to read this. Heck, you even earned yourself at least one solid medal of honour by being scarred once, so you achieved something all the people who hide at home, never taking the smallest of risks will never achieve. Take pride in that! Understand that this toughness, which is buried underneath your worries, tears and fears, will lead you to a better place than the one you are in right now. You already have what it takes - all you need to understand is what you are capable of already!
I cannot promise you that your healing will be easy. Mine never was, regardless if I think of the physical healing or the many time I had to heal from having my heart broken. But if I could learn everything I just told you, you can learn that, too. If I am still standing, so will you.
Anyway, thanks for reading this. For what it is worth: I trust in you and in your capacity to outgrow the misery you're in. If I managed to reach that courageous part of you somewhere deep in you, please let me know in the comments - cause you damn right deserve to get better and to be happy. Be strong. Be courageous. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, but also to feel pride when being vulnerable. It is what makes you human. If you are hurting right now, it is because you have the capacity to feel. That includes: Feeling love. You are not gone yet. You are no dull and numb zombie yet. The spark is in you. Acknowledge its presence, nurture it and see it grow into a flame eventually.
​
You got this. I know you do. Good luck to you.
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If you find this helpful, please share it with others who are in pain right now and consider pushing it with an upvote. Thank you very much.