My mate and I are looking forward to starting the game tomorrow, and I was just wondering what combination of classes work well together. Is it worth having one tank/melee and one glass cannon?

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
31 year old male. From the outside I'm described as looking embittered/resentful, intimidating, hard to approach, but otherwise visibly smart and insightful: apparently when I talk to people I tend to make them question their whole life path or something, this has been said to me. I've been told that I'm smart, self-controlled, upright notably.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
No.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
Childhood:
I'm european, no religious or structured influence per say. I'm an onlychild.
My father was schizophrenic, nice but very aloof, careless, nonchalant and rather irresponsible. I would physically fight with him to enter his room, basically for his attention but he would push me out, I remember trying to break the door of the appartment when I was left to myself outside and he wouldn't hear me. He was the one staying at home and taking care of me for most of my childhood.
My mother, as a consequence, was very stressed because she had to carry responsibilities for 2, I remember her as "mean" and demanding, basically always stressed out.
I was always playing outside as a child, I remember my father having to abduct me from outside in order to bring me home sometimes.
Around 8 years old, my parents decided to divorce. I remember ganging up with my mother against my father, I didn't really understand his condition, but I remember understanding he was problematic. So I basically actively supported my mother in her divorce in a "let's get rid of him" way.
Around that age I became more responsible and mature and I would guide my mother on how to do things, decisions to take, etc... I think I implicitely understood that, to get her love, I needed to fill that role, to be reasonable and dependable so she could relax and free herself from her important and ever present anxiety. So I became the parent in many ways.
I was an only child but I had many cousins I loved in another country, I would visit them very regularly. But around the 10yo mark, there was a problem in the family and it's like I was not their family anymore. It felt like a huge betrayal. Like all the veryh strong bonds and the showings of care were a lie.
I could be a weird kid. I remember thinking about death around 5-6 yo and coming to the conclusion that 1- I couldn't get too attached to my parents who were gonna die before me 2-I need to find a way to redeem the meaningless of life, doing something amazing that will grant me some part of immortality.
Teenage years:
Thus I entered teenage years more introverted than I was in childhood. I got social anxiety symptoms. I stayed at home way more reading books or playing videogames. In class I was always a good student, answering questions with a passion, but also cracking jokes regularly, class representative.
I was quite responsible and was fathering myself. I mostly didn't need to be disciplined but when I was, it would made me very (silently but very visibly) resentful, to the point teachers would go to me to defuse the situation calmly, because I guess they knew I was a good kid.
Good grades. But I was a bit spoiled and would be very harsh with my mother which I saw as incompetent. I would criticize her a lot for her shortcomings, telling her how to do things etc...
In class and school, I was known as a know-it-all, boaster, but funny.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I'm currently studying for a competitive exam to become a high ranking public servant.
After high school graduation I chose a very demanding but prestigious study path, which I succeeded in, being admitted in a very good business school in my country.
But then I noticed I wasn't interested in studying business. it's like I spent 2-3 years suffering for something and succeeding at it because I thought it was "the best path", only to notice that I wasn't interested in it when I got it. People would hate me for that, because it's like "now that you got in, you will leave this very valuable thing?". But anyway.
So I changed path trying to find some sense in my life.
I like what I'm doing because it's intellectually demanding (contrary to business school) and it serves my ambitions which have a lot to do with the common good. I don't really care about making money on my own, I want to leave a mark.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
I would feel depressed but without noticing. I need to get externally stimulated in some way or I get depressive/moody.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I like reading mostly. I liked videogames a lot, but I quit a few years ago because pointless. I mostly like to organize things, even when playing videogames, a lot of the pleasure was planning things out, organizing for maximum output, I get untold satisfaction just spending hours devising the best way to arrange things for optimal outcome.
I've never been either good or bad at sports, average. Mostly in nerdy territory. I do exercize for the aesthetical and productivity/health related benefits.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I'm not very curious. I'm very...obsessed? In the sense that I have one thing in mind and everything else seems derisory. I don't like to get distracted, so I don't get out of my way to discover things.
My ideas are mostly about cause and effect. It's mostly about paying attention to intentions, causality to have the best outcome. What are the best guidelines/principles to enforce in order to have the best result, by trying to divine consequences of ways of doing things.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
Well, that's mostly my aim. I mostly end up leading in one way or another because I tend to think I'm right so I fight for that.
But I can be very... mechanic? In the way I communicate and handle things. Very direct, straight to the goal, no nonsense, focused. Very task oriented. And leadership has to include some people orientation to be fully effective, social skills etc...
So mostly I'd like to lead, but the hassle of dealing with this people-oriented aspect deters me from that, the middle ground being protecting my self-sufficiency and doing things my way, on my own.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I'm not coordinated. I've been told so repeatedly by many people. SOme simple manual tasks I fail at because I don't have the coordination. I have a bad physical intelligence/ intelligence of movement.
I don't enjoy working with my hands at all.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I'm not really artistic. I don't see the point. I do appreciate art though, in literature, painting (mostly classical, neoclassical. I appreciate beauty more than art to be honest, in the sense that creativity doesn't interest me per say (some innovative way to arrange thigns), but more aesthetical "harmony" like a grandiose neoclassical painting, or monument or classical music that I find beautiful.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I don't manage to relate to a lot of people emotional attachment to the past. I don't get nostalgia, or it's very dimmed. I think you can study the past to unearth some hidden mechanisms about how things go, like in history, but those mechanisms tend to be universal and not period-bound and that's why they are worth studying, because it can help predict the future in order to take the upper hand.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
really depends.
If it's something you can do yourself but you give up too easily (my mother), then it annoys me a lot and I make it known.
If it's something you need me for because you put yourself in a shitty situation by being inconsequential, it annoys me a lot too, because you get what you deserve and I don't deserve to have this thrown on me.
But it it's something I can help with, even without it being needed, but just because I have a diferent set of skills/strengths and it will compliment yours greatly and improve the situation for someone I care about, then I'm happy to help.
I have to mention that even when I'm really annoyed and don't want to help, if it's from someone I care about and this person don't want my help, I will still help. Because once I know there is a problem in my "vicinity" which needs fixing, I need to do it because it "sticks" in my mind and I can't get rest knowing it's still out there unsolved. So I will be angry, blame but will still do it even when asked not to. It's compulsive.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
I guess. I don't like people being unreasonable.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Quite important, even though efficiency and productivity need to be thought about in the context of the overarching goal, not just for themselves.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
Yes I do, because others are part of my environment and have an impact on me and I need to control my environment.
I've noticed that I tend to think of people around me as having a "place". Not in the sense of social status, but more like a function, a purpose, for me. So I control others to make sure everybody stay at their place to prevent disordenonsensical scenarios.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
I don't really have hobbies. I like to read, to watch tv shows or animes. I like to exercize. Most of my time is funneled into what I do. I'm mostly single-minded, I don't see much point to hobbies.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I prefer classes with logic. I tend to learn more based on logical links between things/causality than just blank memorization, even though I'm good at that too. I need to see the links between things to have them all fit in a bigger picture. That's how I learn.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I'm rather good at strategizing in the sense of devising counter measures to potential weaknesses in the future.
I tend to plan a lot beforehand and then correct the planning as I go. I don't "wing" projects, on the contrary.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
Having the bigger impact, fulfilling my purpose so my life is meaningful even after my death.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I fear betrayal. I fear being stuck in a situation I can't regain control on. I fear being pointless and meaningless.
I hate good intentions without care for consequences. I hate disorder, but not in the physical, more like things not working properly, things being out of control because on some root level, nonsense is being tolerated. I hate nonsense. I hate lack of imagination and lack of ambition. I hate mediocrity. I hate smallmindedness. I hate hypocrisy. I hate conformism.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
Efficiency, order, productivity, power, output.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
Nihilism, chaos, inactivity, weakness.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I could be more attached to be honest. I tend to daydream quite a bit, in the sense of not paying attention to things I deem derisory in the moment in my physical environment, like someone telling a story, but I'm thinking of something more interesting, like what is the reason why they speak about this, what does it say about their intentions for example.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I think about how to go out of that room. If I can't, I begin to think about a given problem or fantasize about shit.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
It's quite fast, rather instinctual really if it's important. It's more the derisory, arbitrary stuff that is hard to decide on.
I can change my mind if there is something I didn't see which appeared to me suddenly.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
Not important, I don't really "process emotions", it's more like I either convert it into angeblame or I ignore/numb it entirely.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
On the contrary, I've been told I can create conflict for small reasons. Like something that doesn't seem right to me, but who seems derisory to most people.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I break rules if I find them not justified and they are in my way. Otherwise I tend to respect rules because we live in a society etc...
View Poll

Hello and welcome to my post! I hope you enjoy your stay and hope you shoot me a message!
So i try to keep it as short as possible. Lets start with what i like:

• My biggest passion right now: My Motorcycle, a super cute Husqvarna 701
• Right after that animals! I have two bunnies and i also volunteer at the animal sheelter. :)
• Computers are big part of my life as well, from programming (job) to building (also job and hobby) and gaming
• Music is almost never missing in my life, even when i sleep ^^
• Also movies and shows are good as well

For my personality, well:

• Im a caring person and love to give attention, but also need a lot
• Most of the time im quiete a funny person with telling stupid stuff all the time and making puns
• But i need quiet some time to get comftable with someone
• Because of some mental issues i often cant say the right things or have doubts. So you should be comftable if i ask for reassurence or if i dont understand some social behaviour...

Now looks:

• Well im around 173cm and on the heavier side, around 120kgs.
• normaly i got dark blondish hairs but now they are dyed light blond to grayish
• got some glasses
• and also a few tattos, 4 in total
• I am open to trade pics in chat :)

Things you should accept about me:

• I smoke the devils lettuce, more for medical reasons
• I also smoke normal cigarrets...
• I sometimes have a problem interpreting social behaviour, espacially thru text. So please be straight forward with me
• And well im also a bit shy

Now for what im looking for:

• So obviously someone who is also looking for a long term relationship
• Maybe with some simular interessts and personality traits
• Someone who accepts me as i am and dosnt want to change me, rather help improve myself and is supportive (obviously i will do the same)
• For age, well around my age would be fine. But i dont really have a line, except Rule Number 1!

Last but not leaste, be yourself when you write me. I am an open and accepting person and i want to get to know you. :) Anyways thanks for reading and see you in my dms! :D

Hello everyone!
Recently I've been reading the WN of TsukiMichi, and while I do think the translations are passable, I don't think they could be considered all that good, especially from the perspective of a native English speaker.
I will iterate though, that I respect Reigokai for everything he has done, and I am quite grateful to even be able to experience the web novel in any form or fashion.
Carrying onto the main point of this post, whilst I do enjoy the web novel, I was curious what it may look like if the translations were a bit more natural and free flowing.
I am no writer, but I decided to try my hand at reviewing and revising a couple chapters at the beginning of the WN just to see how much of a difference it might make.
I should mention that the revisions were simply made to the material provided by Reigokai, I built upon whatever he had translated, and did not refer to the original work. I can't read enough Japanese to be able to directly translate after all. I simply tried to infer the meaning from what was already presented in the web novel, and make it a little more clear.
I would love to get others opinions on my revisions and what you think in comparison to the original.Any form of constructive criticism would be welcome!
For example, did I take too much creative liberty in redescribing some situations, did I fluff it up too much, are there any changes you think were unnecessary or detract away from the experience?
On top of that do you think I should continue? It's honestly quite time consuming to do this, so I don't know if I will, but it was enjoyable for what it's worth so I may if I feel like it!
While reading you may find a couple of grammatical errors and such, I hope you won't mind!
​
TL;DR: I revised two chapters of the TsukiMichi WN and would appreciate constructive feedback.
​
Prologue: This is the beginning of the autumn sky
I woke up, made breakfast, and in the meantime prepared my lunchbox.
I left for school, then went to club for morning practice.
Finishing up my club’s morning practice, I headed to class.
Once that was finished, I once again went back to club in the afternoon.
After hanging out with my friends in club, I went back home.
I took a bath, and then I changed.
I enjoyed some time with my family, and then I rested.
In the late nights of autumn, I read books, played games, and surfed the web.
Finally, I slept.
That’s all I did.
There might have been something in between the lines, but that’s not particularly important.
“That’s why it’s strange... Why I am not asleep in the comforts of my own home!?”
That’s right... without a doubt... I’m somewhere else.
I don’t exactly know where, but here I am.
In a square room that looks as if stars were printed on the walls and floor.
In order to better assess my situation, I went around inspecting the room.
I was concerned by the fact that there was no obvious exit present.
On top of that, ever since I got here, I haven’t felt the presence of anything or anyone else.
Currently, I am entrusting my back to a corner of the room, while I ponder my situation.
“You are extremely calm considering your circumstances, huh.”
“?!”
A voice...
There’s definitely nothing present in this room, yet I’m certain I heard a loud voice.
Looking around, I saw that nothing in the room had visibly changed.
The voice continued.
“Once I projected my voice, you immediately began searching your surroundings attempting to comprehend the current state of affairs. Simultaneously, you remained vigilant as you endeavored to organize your thoughts, huh?”
“Who are you?”
If all I could hear was a voice, it seemed my best option was to attempt to communicate with it.
“If I said I was a god, would you believe me?”
“Absolutely not.”
Does this voice have a screw loose?
“That is quite unfortunate.”
“Well, I will now transport you to a REALLY good parallel world. I should mention, it is a one way trip so you will not be able to return to your original world.”
“Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!”
What kind of nonsense is this thing spewing so nonchalantly?!
“In regards to what you will be tasked to do, you should ask the one who is in charge of that place when you arrive.
“With that now explained, I am sorry but I need you to sign off on this.”
“Like hell I’m going to do that!”
As I anticipated, my voice became violent. I mean, It’s a given! it’s obvious! Who would just accept this situation like that?!
“Oh? You don’t want to? That’s weird... I was told you would be going.”
The voice seemed troubled.
There’s a limit to jokes! I have in absolutely no way, heard about this beforehand!
“I’m not lying! I haven’t been told a thing about this! Okay? Moreover, what kind of idiot would just willingly accept the concept of another world?! The fact that we’re even talking about this is just plain weird!”
I attempted to explain my side of the story with all my available might.
“Huh, it seems as if it truly was not you. I apologize, I seem to have made a mistake.”
I breath a sigh of relief.
“I appreciate your apology, but are you going to bring me back home?!”
I still have yet to return to my original tone of voice.
My current tone may not be threatening, but it’s definitely not polite either.
I mean, who’s going to blame me? This is a completely ridiculous situation. It’s definitely not my fault.
“Of course I will.”
That’s what the voice said.
With that, I breathe another sigh of relief.
I’m so glad. It’s a ‘voice’ that can be reasoned with.
Usually, in a standard template scenario like this, this is the part where the voice would say ‘I’m sorry’, ‘it’s impossible’, or ‘oh well, try your best’ and would simply toss you out to fend for yourself.
Maybe you’d even be given the guy who tells you ‘You’re already dead’ and, without hearing any complaints, throws you out to fend for yourself in another world.
That’s what I thought would happen but...
I’m saved ~
“Well, I am extremely sorry… if that is truly the case, then as an alternative it must be either your younger or older sister.”
I retract everything I just said. This guy just said something that can’t be passed off as a joke.
It said it in a nonchalant way, but those were words I absolutely cannot let slip by.
“Hey... could you repeat yourself one more time?”
“Hm? If you are not the one to be chosen, that means one of your sisters must be. ”
“Don’t give me that shit!”
“If you touch my sisters, I’ll make sure you live to regret it!”
They’re out there, living their own lives to the fullest!
There’s no way they’d be able to just accept this situation!
The audacity! Without even an ounce of care in its voice, this thing says it’ll just whisk one of the two away!
Don’t mess with me!
“For the sake of confirming, you are indeed the Misumi family’s eldest son, Misumi Makoto-kun, correct?”
Why does it know my name?
“The kids of the Misumi household should have already been told of this matter. At least, that is what I was told. Is this not correct?”
The voice seemed even more troubled now then it did before.
I was a bit surprised by this. Although it kidnapped me out of nowhere, it still tried its best to respect my will.
Everything being considered…
“Well, for the time being, could you at least tell me your name?”
That’s right. I’m still somehow managing not to fall into a complete panic, but it’s not as if I’m extremely calm either.
The best way to put it would be, I’m composed. I have to settle down a bit.
Even now, I still don’t even know the identity of the voice.
“?? Oh yeah of course, you are quite right. I apologize for not having introduced myself sooner. I am called Tsukuyomi.”
“I see, Tsukuyomi. Tsukuyomi… Tsukuyomi?!”
“Oh? Do you know of me? I see you are quite knowledgeable.”
“You don’t mean, Tsukuyomi of the three Shinto gods, do you? That Tsukuyomi no Mikoto?!”
“Oooh, yes, that would indeed be correct. Although, compared to the other two, I am nothing but a minor character.”
I mean, that’s true. Even considering that though, he’s still a big shot.
I like myths and history (though only a bit), henceforth why I know of him.
If what the voice is saying is true, then he is quite the character.
“Why is it that the Tsukuyomi-sama knows of me?”
Let’s begin with the thing I understand the least. I don’t understand why I was chosen to travel to another world.
“…”
“I see, you really don’t know anything. Alright, I will tell you.”
Everything I was told from that point on, I honestly couldn’t get a grasp on it.
I was in a pretty fortunate position compared to those who are suddenly called to another world, get lost, or get reincarnated—or at least that’s what I had thought.
Prologue 2: The farewell gift is a secret
To summarize what Tsukuyomi-sama said to me, it goes something like this.
The reason for the transportation and procedure had all been explained to me.
Basically, my parents themselves were originally residents of this aforementioned other world.
When I was young, I was told that my grandparents had already died and that we didn’t have connections with any of our other relatives but… to think that this was the reason why.
In order to come to our current world, for one reason or another, they made an agreement with the god of that other world.
That’s what seems to have triggered my current situation.
That’s to say, the condition the god gave them was ‘one day, I will take that which is most important from you’.
Is that guy the devil?!
It seems my parents agreed to that condition.
Now that I think about it all three children of my family (myself include) were taught how to do domestic chores, as well as made to learn some sort of martial art.
To think that that was preparation for this of all things! All for the purpose of possibly being shipped off to another world at any time!
No no no, don’t joke around. My parents never told me anything about another world!
Well, to be fair, even if they had told me, I’d probably look at them as if they were a bunch of crazy people.
My father is a writer that specializes in making fantasy novels that are oddly realistic and hold a lot of presence.
Though, to think that that was because he had actually experienced the real thing is a little mind boggling.
In one of his works, he intricately detailed the flavors of a dragon steak, and the comforts of sleeping in a stable, both of which were especially moving moments.
The world that I’m going to now is that same magic filled fantasy world.
It seems that I’m going to be sent to that world with power that surpasses that of my peers. Due to various reasons, the people that are transferred over from my world are all incredibly strong.
In a sense, it’ll be as if I’ve been released from extremely heavy clothing.
It’s not like I’ll be given immortality though, so I can still suffer fatal wounds. At least, I’ve been warned of such.
Judging by what Tsukuyomi-sama has said, it seems that even just living in my world is a feat in and of itself.
Not only is there practically no magical power, the Gods’ divine protection can barely reach anyone there. It’s a harsh world in comparison to others. That’s the kind of place I’ve been living in up until now, at least, according to Tsukuyomi-sama.
Even though all I’ve done is live my life normally...
How convenient for me.
“I’m extremely sorry for shouting at you. It seems you’ve also had it rough Tsukuyomi-sama.” (Makoto)
Moreover, thinking about the hardships Tsukuyomi-sama must have faced due to being the middle child nestled between the two extraordinary beings that are his elder sister and younger brother...
I felt a flood of emotions when considering his situation. Even now, when he simply tried to do his job, he was shouted at by a person he barely knows.
He’s definitely had it rough so far.
“Well, well, to think your understanding of my own circumstance would be so intricate! How long has it been since I have felt such a blissful feeling? Though, if we are to talk about having it rough, Makoto-dono has it plenty rough himself.” (Tsukuyomi)
To think he even understands my feelings of being the only man wedged in between two sisters! I never thought the day would come, when somebody could sympathize with me so!
Now that I’ve been enlightened to his greatness, if there was ever a Tsukuyomi Mikoto religion, I’d enter it in a heart beat!
Hooray Tsukuyomi-sama!
“Nonetheless, my sisters and I have lived a normal life up until now. We’re way too late in the game to suddenly be told we’ve essentially been living in a wasteland all our lives.” (Makoto)
“Out of all the other worlds out there, yours is certainly the harshest. In the eyes of an otherworlder, it would be like live in the depths of the ocean or living in a sea of lava.” (Tsukuyomi)
“On a separate note, she really is taking her time.” (Tsukuyomi)
We’ve been waiting for the goddess of the other world to come and retrieve me but…
Considering how long she’s taking, it doesn’t seem like that goddess will be coming anytime soon.
It seems that world is a pretty popular place, inhabited by a Goddess and spirits alike.
In what way does that make it popular? I honestly have no clue.
By the way, I’ve already signed whatever it is Tsukuyomi-sama gave me. Of course, only after thoroughly reviewing the conditions and being convinced about it, okay?
After all, if I don’t go, either my older or younger sister would have to go in my place.
I’m extremely troubled by this, you know? Very troubled.
I mean, for one, I won’t be able to play games anymore. In a world where machines don’t exist, I won’t even be able to play something as simple as a mobile game!
I also have to bid farewell to all my manga and novels.
Furthermore, on my computer, there may or may not be a number of things that are 18+. If those get discovered, I have no clue how I would even begin to explain that to my family.
I’m a growing young man! It’s perfectly understandable! Right?!
That’s why I told Tsuki-sama about it, and requested the he clean it up in a covert manner so that my family wouldn’t notice.
This might not come off very well, but aside from my family, I honestly could care less if anyone else knows about it.
Now that I have been cornered, I understand just how tiny I truly am. Though, that’s how I really feel.
However, that isn’t any good.
That’s why I decided to stop being so self-centered. How do I say it? I’m honestly surprised at how much I prioritize myself!
Although, I still wanted to do something about my dark history.
While he did say I can’t return…
If my family who I won’t be able to see again, if they find the materials linked to my inner man…
“I can’t believe our kid had these kinds of hobbies!”(Makoto’s father)
“Even if he’s our child, how unrefined of him!”(Makoto’s mother)
“Onii-chan*, you’re disgusting!” (Makoto’s younger sister) [*Big brother]
“I can’t believe my little brother! Could it be?! Did he look at me with such a lascivious gaze as well?!”(Makoto’s older sister)
“NOOOOOOO!!! STOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!” (Makoto)
There’s absolutely no way I could take that! Even just imagining it is enough to make me want to kill myself!
“Do not worry young Mikoto.” (Tsukuyomi)
Tsuki-sama was different. While I was writhing due to the madness found within my heart, and was about to be engulfed by the accumulating negative feelings, he said this to me.
“Everything you have that contains contents of men’s dreams, books, and software, as well as the contents your hard drive; I will make sure to take responsibility of wiping them all from the face of the planet!” (Tsukuyomi)
Tsuki-sama said while nodding reassuringly.
He understood everything... absolutely everything about it...
He truly is a God! He truly is divine! Even if in the eyes of others, he is simply a minor character, he is definitely number one in my heart! You have become the greatest of Gods! The Chief God!
I am impressed by the fact that he knew of advanced technological devices such hard drives.
Honestly though, I’m not thinking too much about stuff like that. I’m just grateful that my potential nightmare has disappeared.
Tsuki-sama and I decided to kill time while waiting for the goddess. We talked about this and that. We talked about things such as society while drinking tea that was pulled out of who knows where.
“By the way, to my understanding in the new world I will have immense physical and magical power but…” (Makoto)
“Yes?” (Tsukuyomi)
“Will I receive something like a special ability? For example, an impenetrable barrier, the demon eye of truth, a Rose Logia, or a heavenly phase?” (Makoto)
I mean, if I have an incredible amount of magic power, there might not be any need. Even so, it’s the dream of any young man to have powers like that.
Normally, there are a lot of people that are given overpowered abilities when they arrive in another world, you know? That’s why I want it too, you know?
I mean, I guess that’s only in fiction though...
From what I’ve heard, there are demi-humans, and even beastkin so even if I’m a little abnormal I shouldn’t be discriminated against.
All that considered, it would be nice if I had one, at least that’s what I thought.
“Of course you will!” (Tsukuyomi)
“Seriously?! What kind? What kind will I get?” (Makoto)
I honestly didn’t think my request could be fulfilled~. You’ll only know if you ask, huh.
“I do not know. I am sorry, but it will be a surprise for when you arrive there. I myself can only go there once, and after that I will be incapable of communicating with you, so I am only going to give you a hint, okay?” (Tsukuyomi)
“Ooh~ I hope it’s something like a blank skill that lets you make any power you want!” (Makoto)
“Nope, that is not the case. I am sorry, but although I am divine, even I have limits imposed upon myself.” (Tsukuyomi)
“??” (Makoto)
“It is said that I am the one who governs the night and the moon, but my real attribute is quite ambiguous. In fact, it may be similar to what you speak of, a ‘blank skill’ of sorts.” (Tsukuyomi)
“That is why I will give you as much of my power as I can. Although, I do not know how it will bud, and what kind of fruit it shall bare. It may even become something you do not desire. For that, I am sorry.” (Tsukuyomi)
Having said that, Tsuki-sama beckons me to come closer.
Following his instructions, I sat beside him. He then placed his hand on me.
I felt something beginning to flow into me. That something went through my spine and then began to circulate throughout my whole body. It then went around to my chest, and began to gather there. Finally it calmed itself.
Is this the blessing he said he would give me?
“I feel something accumulating withing me. Is this what you would call the point of origin?” (Makoto)
“That’s right, you learn fast.”(Tsukuyomi)
“There should be no problems with the perception of your surroundings. When you imagine yourself letting the power out, it should active.” (Tsukuyomi)
“The feeling of releasing the power in the palm of your hands is probably the easiest to understand.” (Tsukuyomi)
“I should mention, it is currently impossible. This place is still technically located in your original world after all.” (Tsukuyomi)
I wanted to give it a try, but Tsuki-sama stopped me while laughing.
“This may be slightly tangential, Makoto-dono, but I should mention even if it is stated in your contract, the goddess of the other world should similarly give you an ability of some sort.
You will be abandoning your current world, of not particularly your own volition, so giving you side-benefits is of course a given.” (Tsukuyomi)
Once again, Tsuki-sama bows his head with an apologetic expression.
“No way, Tsukuyomi-sama! I am nothing but grateful to you. Maybe, just maybe, if I had been sent away without any explanation after rejecting you, and then, the next day, one of my sisters were to disappear, I would’ve regretted it for the rest of my life.” (Makoto)
“Makoto-dono is truly kind… it seems she has finally come.” (Tsukuyomi)
“Finally, huh. We’ve been talking for quite a while. No, more like her tardiness allowed us to do so.” (Makoto)
“You know, if you wanted, I could record all our conversations in a dream pillow. Is this really enough for you?” (Tsukuyomi)
In Tsuki-sama’s hand, there were two letters.
When I asked Tsuki-sama if I could leave anything behind for my family, he gave me a lot of different ways to give them a message in a heartbroken manner. In the end, I decided to go with letters. One was addressed to my parents, and the other to my sisters.
My parents, having come from there, would understand if I told them about the other world, but using that kind of explanation for my sisters would be hard. Therefore, I made two of them. I’ll let my parents decide whether or not to tell my sisters the truth of the matter.
Conversely, I asked if it was possible for me to take anything with me. In response, I was told that he could make some accommodations for it.
I chose various books and writing utensils (ball-pens and mechanical pencils were a no go, so I had to make due with a pencil). I wanted to bring a bit of food too, but for some reason I was denied that privilege as well. There’s are probably numerous laws for the management of worlds. I assume in this case, the preservation of what’s already there, huh.
“Yes, I don’t mind- huh?!” (Makoto)
My body is going transparent? I double checked just to be sure, but half my body has gone transparent?!
“What?! She plans to take you away without even giving me any notice?! What is she thinking, that stupid woman!” (Tsukuyomi)
Tsuki-sama was also panicking. It wasn’t like I was going to die though. I was just being taken away after all, so I felt a bit relieved.
“Makoto-dono, I am sorry! The Goddess that you are about to meet, is quite problematic and troublesome character. It is a given if you are unable to hide your displeasure. But, if you can find it somewhere in your heart, please, overlook her actions.” (Tsukuyomi)
Tsuki-sama is a wise person. He’s probably come into contact with a good number of people in his lifetime.
I smiled while nodding.
I was able to harden my resolve to travel to another world thanks to him, and he managed to make me accept the situation I was given. He chatted with me and helped calm myself.
Those were the words he gave me as I departed, the words from that Tsukuyomi Mikoto.
Even if the Goddess I’m about to meet in this parallel world has a troublesome personality, I will do my best to accept her for Tsukuyomi-sama’s sake.

But this is the second weekend in a row when I can't do something I'd really enjoy because of my kids, and it hurts.
Last weekend it was a cycle protest - can't take a 4 week old on a bicycle, also I'm not medically cleared for a bike after a perineal tear in labour. Can't leave an EBF 4 week old, don't really want to go without my partner anyway.
This weekend it's a stained-glass-and-gypsum window-making workshop. I love stained glass, I'd really love to go, it would be a perfect birthday treat... and I can't take a toddler, he'll break a lot of glass and kill somebody. Possibly himself. I could leave him with my partner all day, but then I'm still solo caring for an EBF 4 week old during the workshop instead of being able to craft all day, if they'd even let me bring her. And I'd be on my own, with strangers, which I'm not really up for right now.
When they're older, I'll bring them with or sort out a babysitter or something. It's just because they're so little that I can't. I don't often miss being childless, but it's hitting hard today.

So, I put out a post a bit ago on Citron as I wanted to find the worth in class, and after both research AND application, I feel that Frozen Citron is unequivocally the best or most versatile character in his class. E Citron is probably arguable, but this is coming from my experience so I'm open to trying new ideas. This is my experience and I want to learn more about the class.
Lobbies are LITTERED with super brains and imps in my experience, and Frozen Citron is the best at taking them both down. E Citrons may be able to take down imps in one shot, but being so charge reliant makes the TTK Longer on super brains. Meanwhile Frozen excels at both due to freezing. For super brains, shooting them for what I learned online for 1.33 seconds gives you just enough time to kill before they can respond via freeze, and for imps, the freeze effect slows them down, making them easier to hit for you and everyone else not even mentioning that you also have EMPeach as another means to slow them down before or after you hot them with your primary.
His freezing effect makes him feel actually decent at picking up a couple of quick kills over distance sniping since one may not move away fast enough and be punished heavily, not to mention that it makes up for the inconsistent primary.
He's also very good at being an anti mech character with the EMPeach AND ability to freeze mechs in place for easy pickings and free damage, or in a 1v1, a kill Even if that's not enough due to possibly having your shield.
His biggest issues feel like it's all star and foot-soldier due to their devastating abilities, but don't die to imp punt and your probably fine against a ln all star since you basically kill them in a 1v 1 in 1.33 seconds.
It just feels like the other Citron don't have as much versatility combined with the freeze making time to kill on 200 Hp characters basically 1.33 seconds which is HUGE since in my experience, you just die as other important classes if you get ambushed, like corn or peashooter.
Frozen Citron just has the cold consistency the others don't in my experience so far. Thoughts?

Hello wonderful people and fellow Redditors. Looking to start things here or online and just see where things go from there. The main things I am looking for iniaitally are 1) at least somewhat of a mutual attraction physically 2) Someone who chats/messages daily several times. I’ve had bad luck apparently, where I meet someone great and they’re only here 1-3 days then ghost.
I have been having a really hard time finding women I vibe with. I feel there is nobody who is into trans women physically and I am losing hope. So yes, I am trans pre-op, but I am quite femme. Pics to show and see if you like - just ask!
I am loving, confident, fun, silly, outgoing, caring, compassionate and I will do anything I can to please my partner. I am a caregiver by choice in my career - registered nurse. I love to care for others and I love opening up and offering myself to others wants and needs.
I am open to anyone 20+ as long as we can vibe. I feel like I often have a younger attitude as I am trying to relive my college days in a way I am sad I missed out on. About me: I am a registered nurse in an emergency room, my hobbies and interests include fashion, video games, shopping, traveling domestic and international, I love cuddling, Netflix/entertainment in general, and fantasizing about how amazing life would be if I were more beautiful. I have 3 sisters and come from a pretty conservative family. I can’t stand Donald Trump and no I don’t need any negative messages about why. If you are a Trumper please refrain from messaging me. I tend to have sexual desires, fantasies, and just daydream about dates and things I wish could happen. I can also totally refrain from this is if this is nothing you’re interested in but I wouldn’t mind having a BFF 👯‍♀️ to share experiences and secrets with. I think a relationship is best started as a friendship then grows, so let’s just chat and see where things go.
I love pets but don’t have any of my own, taking care of myself is a big enough responsibility 😆. I have plenty of other interests and would love to make friends or more seeing if it goes that way. If you want to be friends or just think I’m cute let’s chat 😘 I am definitely on the femme side of the spectrum and I find myself more attracted to that type as well. Typically not into butch but please don’t let that deter you from messaging me. I am open and willing to share pics. Just to keep you curious, for now I’ll just describe myself.
5’9”, blue/gray eyes, 160lbs, glasses, cute smile, great butt slim/average body, hair style changes pending how I’m feeling.

I am a 21 year old who has a crush on a boy in my class who is a 19 year old. We have 2 different personalities. I am a very hyper and fun loving very relatively takative person. He takative, fun loving at the same time he is very serious as well.we have similar hobbies such as photography and love of wildlife. I really like this person but I feel he dosen't feel the same as well. We are friends and talk and all as a friend. he does has a crush on one of my other friendwho already has a boyfriend. What can I do. I want to confess to him. I haven't been interested in relationships But I want to bee with him and I am scared. What can we do? I

I’m brand new to poly lifestyle so bear with me or help me learn and understand better. First off I am in USA/Midwest. Looking to start things here or online and just see where things go from there. The main things I am looking for iniaitally are 1) at least somewhat of a mutual attraction physically 2) Someone who chats/messages daily several times. I’ve had bad luck apparently, where I meet someone great and they’re only here 1-3 days then ghost.
I have been having a really hard time finding women I vibe with. I feel there is nobody who is into trans women physically and I am losing hope. So yes, I am trans pre-op, but I am quite femme. Pics to show and see if you like - just ask!
I am loving, confident, fun, silly, outgoing, caring, compassionate and I will do anything I can to please my partner. I am a caregiver by choice in my career - registered nurse. I love to care for others and I love opening up and offering myself to others wants and needs.
I am open to anyone 20+ as long as we can vibe. I feel like I often have a younger attitude as I am trying to relive my college days in a way I am sad I missed out on. About me: I am a registered nurse in an emergency room, my hobbies and interests include fashion, video games, shopping, traveling domestic and international, I love cuddling, Netflix/entertainment in general, and fantasizing about how amazing life would be if I were more beautiful. I have 3 sisters and come from a pretty conservative family. I can’t stand Donald Trump and no I don’t need any negative messages about why. If you are a Trumper please refrain from messaging me. I tend to have sexual desires, fantasies, and just daydream about dates and things I wish could happen. I can also totally refrain from this is if this is nothing you’re interested in but I wouldn’t mind having a BFF 👯‍♀️ to share experiences and secrets with. I think a relationship is best started as a friendship then grows, so let’s just chat and see where things go.
I love pets but don’t have any of my own, taking care of myself is a big enough responsibility 😆. I have plenty of other interests and would love to make friends or more seeing if it goes that way. If you want to be friends or just think I’m cute let’s chat 😘 I am definitely on the femme side of the spectrum and I find myself more attracted to that type as well. Typically not into butch but please don’t let that deter you from messaging me. I am open and willing to share pics. Just to keep you curious, for now I’ll just describe myself.
5’9”, blue/gray eyes, 160lbs, glasses, cute smile, great butt slim/average body, hair style changes pending how I’m feeling.

It is not just about what you eat but how you eat too! Even though you are eating as clean as you can, there has to be a reason why you are still bloated, crampy, running to the ladies room, anxious and tired all the time. You may or may not realize, but your recent weight gain and constant fatigue are all related to your diet as well as digestion.
Here is a list of the 5 common poor dietary habits I have seen people follow that totally wreck their digestion
#1 EATING WHEN NOT HUNGRY
Hunger is the biggest cue that your body needs nourishment. Hunger is also a sign that your Jatharagni or digestive fire is stroked and working well. Have you ever wondered whether you eat because you are hungry or just because the clock tells you that it’s the time to eat?
I have seen so many people focus on eating at fixed times that they totally forget to check in with their body whether it feels hunger or not.
Eating when not hungry is the no 1 cause indigestion. Eating when not hungry means that brain has not received any signals from your stomach to secrete any digestive juices to carry out digestion and hence your stomach is ill-prepared for the food that’s being stuffed into it. If your stomach is not going to secret sufficient digestive juice, how can you digest the food that you are eating? In Ayurvedic medicine, this semi-digested or undigested product of digestion is known as ‘Ama’ and is circulated through your body serving as undigested toxin, creating inflammation in your body further causing allergies, stiffness, joint pain, as well as weight gain.
#2 EATING TO NUMB YOUR EMOTIONS
Is there someone who doesn’t eat emotionally…the answer is probably a few in a million. Today’s fast track life where people barely have time for anything, how can they find time to feel their emotions. Sometimes emotions like sadness, worry, loneliness, anxiety are harder to understand and process, as people don’t even know they are going through it for the lack of mindfulness. So the quick solution is food.
Today people turn to food for entertainment, comfort, stress relief, or as a reward rather than to nourish their body and mind. Often people eat to numb their emotions, especially sugary sweets as sweet taste is instantly comforting. This is nothing but a distraction to suppress certain emotions which result in totally overloading your digestive system. Again when you eat out of sadness, anxiety or boredom, your body is caught up in the emotions and not focussing on digesting food, which leads to ‘Ama’ the digestive toxin.
But it is so much more than just that. 'Your body needs to process emotions just the way it needs to process food and that takes time'. Most emotional states cause you to secrete stress hormones activating your sympathetic system shifts your body in the fight- flight- freeze mode. This takes away from your 'rest-digest' parasympathetic system. So again you barely secrete digestive enzymes and the food you eat makes you feel bloated, gaseous, and really uncomfortable.
#3 DRINKING TOO MUCH WATER IMMEDIATELY BEFORE OR AFTER MEALS.
This is the biggest weight-loss myth I have seen in my practice as an Ayurvedic doctor. If you think it is a good idea to chug a few glasses of water just before your meals to fill up, eat less and effortlessly lose weight, you need to think again. I have encountered so many 'weight loss gurus', who advise their clients to drink at least 2 glasses of water before they eat anything, which is the ‘worst’ thing you could do to your digestion. Too much water can easily dilute your digestive juices....just like when in your grade 8 chemistry class where you learnt to dilute an acid by adding water.
#4 EATING WHILE MULTITASKING
Let me get something straight to you…Multi-tasking is a myth. It just means that you are taking the same amount of time to do many things at once, often inefficiently, than choosing to do one thing at a time with all the focus and efficiency, In today's world, this is a sad reality for many busy women, men and alike.
Older men and women who lead a hectic life, working, attending client calls, dropping kids to school, getting to the gym while grabbing a quick meal; whereas some kids just cannot simply sit and eat without being glued to the idiot box. Eating on the go is a terrible habit for anyone and everyone and is another reason that leaves your digestion compromised you’re your brain doesn’t is still focussed on reading emails, how the heck will it know that you are eating and need to secrete digestive enzymes??
#5 NOT EATING ACCORDING TO YOUR DOSHA TYPE
Last but not the least, eating against your dosha type
Dosha type? What the heck is that?
Well there are five main elements that make up the universe also your body- Akash or space, Vayu or air, Agni or fire, Ap or water and Prithvi or earth. These five elements combine to form 3 biological energies within your body known as the doshas - Vata, Pitta and Kapha. These doshas govern our physical, mental, emotional states as well as behaviour. Your health, happiness and longevity depend on the balance of these doshas, which are affected by foods, dietary habits, lifestyle, as thoughts that you think. Since these impact you in each and every aspect of your life, considering them when you choose your diet and nutrition is of utmost importance. This is the reason why some people cannot handle cold foods at all, and some react to dairy. If you have a diet that is not compatible with the dominant doshas in your body or your dosha type, it sets you up for digestive imbalances as well as different health issues.
So take some time to see which of the above habits are the main reason your digestion is suffering and feel free to share with someone who needs this information.

As darkened clouds loomed overhead, lightning tore through the sky, illuminating the dark forest with a brilliant burst of light. The crackling energy split the heavens, casting jagged veins of illumination across the landscape. The resounding BOOM that followed reverberated through the air, shaking the very foundation of Cornelia's cozy cabin. Inside, she reclined in her plush chair, enveloped in its welcoming embrace. A soft, crackling warmth emanated from the fireplace, casting a gentle glow that bathed the room in a comforting radiance. She sighed contentedly, the flickering flames casting dancing shadows on the walls, as if they were performers in a mesmerizing show.
"A good sign, isn't that right, Wendy?" Cornelia whispered, her voice a delicate murmur filled with reassurance and affection.
“Wendy wike wain,” said Wendy, with her lustrous ebony-colored fluff, nestled against Cornelia's stomach, her presence a velvety touch against her skin. The room filled with a soft, contented humming as Wendy expressed her happiness.
Cornelia smiled as her pale fingers traced gentle paths along Wendy's back, their movements a tender caress. Her gaze drifted to the window, where nature orchestrated a symphony of raindrops cascading against the glass. Each droplet carried its own rhythm, harmonizing with the crackling fire to create a symphony of soothing melodies.
As Cornelia admired Wendy, a sense of curiosity began to blossom within her. Were there other fluffies out there with the same unique hue? Elves and wealthy humans often boasted vibrant and diverse-colored fluffies in their care, while the "street-rat" fluffies that roamed alleyways possessed more muted variations. Yet, Wendy's fur was a rarity—pure black that held an air of mystique.
Whispers had spread among the villages, snaking through ears and fuelling imaginations. Tales, distorted and embellished, spoke of a sinister pact between Cornelia and the Demon Vlae. In their twisted narratives, the villagers claimed that the evil spirit-lord resided within Wendy, bestowing upon her the cloak of inky blackness.
Cornelia knew these rumours to be falsehoods, mere figments of overactive imaginations, but that did little to quell the villagers' misguided intentions. Not wanting the villagers to burn her at the stake, Cornelia made a deliberate choice to slip away into the embrace of the ancient woods. There, among the towering sentinels of bark and the rustling tapestry of fallen leaves, she sought solace and a life of peace with Wendy.
Just as Cornelia and Wendy began to settle into a tranquil nap, an insistent knocking on the cabin door shattered the serene atmosphere. The abrupt interruption stirred them from their drowsy state, pulling them back into the realm of uncertainty and peril.
Ygor knocked on the door with the force of a strong but controlled thunder. The heavy wooden door swung open by itself, revealing a flaming shadow with crimson eyes that glare into his very soul.
“You do not disturb a witch’s nap you...” scowled Cornelia but she paused upon seeing a sad yet familiar ogre standing before her.
In the ogre's hands, cradled gently like a fragile treasure, was an injured blue fluffy curled up into a ball. The fluffy's delicate hooves pressed against her belly as she whimpered in pain, her soft cries filling the air with a heart-wrenching melody. The scent of fear and desperation clung to her, mingling with the damp earthiness that permeated the cabin.
Cornelia's piercing gaze softened, her eyes lingering on the wounded blue fluffy nestled in Ygor's hands. The dancing flames of the crackling fireplace painted shifting shadows on her face, accentuating the genuine concern etched across her soft features.
“Ygor?” asked Cornelia, her voice a gentle murmur that wrapped around the room.
“Ygor need help, widdle fluffy hurt” replied Ygor, his voice filled with a mix of deep worry and desperation.
"Bring her inside," Cornelia replied, stepping aside and waited for the giant ogre to enter her home. "Don't worry, the cabin is bigger on the inside," she reassured him, her words imbued with a touch of enchantment.
Ygor carefully stepped into the cabin, his massive form casting long shadows against the sturdy wooden walls. Inside, he found himself awestruck by the magic in the cabin. The air is alive with ethereal energy, a tangible testament to Cornelia's formidable abilities.
With deliberate grace, Ygor approached Cornelia, his every movement infused with cautious tenderness. The crackling flames of the fireplace cast a soft, golden glow that danced and flickered, creating a mesmerizing play of light and shadows across the room.
Cornelia placed a soft, crimson blanket on the smooth surface of the wooden table, its vibrant hue contrasting against the rustic backdrop of the cabin. Cornelia's voice resonated with warmth and reassurance as she spoke; her words carrying the echoes of countless months spent mastering witchcraft.
"It's one of the first spells I had to learn as a witch, so don't worry about trying to fit in," Cornelia assured Ygor, her tone comforting like a soft caress.
"Now, tell me what happened," Cornelia gently prompted, her voice a melodic invitation to share their burdens.
Her empathetic eyes fixed upon Ygor and the poor fluffy, eagerly awaiting their tale of woe. The fire crackled and the raindrops tapped against the window, forming a soothing symphony that seemed to draw the elements closer, eager to listen and offer solace.
“Ygor fed fwuffy raw meat, now fwuffy tummy hurts,” Ygor explained.
“wed’ meat? Fwuffies nu’ eat wed’ meat” Wendy exclaimed, her eyes widened with fear and confusion.
“Put her on the table!” Cornelia's command sliced through the air, her voice resonating with authority as she directed Ygor to carefully place the injured fluffy on the plush red blanket that adorned the sturdy wooden table.
With eager determination, Wendy scurried towards Cornelia. The little fluffy snatched a flask from a nearby shelf. The green liquid concocted from the nearby river and the roots of an ancient tree glowed inside the flask. The aromatic scent of the potion wafted through the air, mingling with the comforting aroma of burning wood. Ygor's sensitive nose caught a hint of bones in the fragrance, causing him to raise an eyebrow in curiosity.
“Ygor smell bones” said Ygor upon picking up a strange scent coming from the flask.
"It's just the potion, Ygor. You can sit near the bookshelf; I'll handle this," reassured Cornelia as she guided Ygor to a seat beside the collection of well-worn tomes. His heavy footsteps resonated against the wooden floor, creating a gentle vibration that shook the nearby furniture.
Meanwhile, Wendy, her ebony-colored fluff rustling with each hurried step, made her way to the kitchen. The soft tapping of her little legs echoed through the cabin, the sound blending with the crackling fire and the rhythmic pitter-patter of rain against the window. Guided by Cornelia's request, Wendy retrieved a bowl of ash and garlic, their distinct scents mingling in the air, creating a heady mixture of earthiness and protection.
Cornelia's hands moved with practiced precision, like a knife gliding through the cloves of garlic as if guided by an invisible force. With each expert stroke, the pungent aroma of freshly cut garlic permeated the air, mingling with the earthy scent of the wooden table.
Once the garlic lay in neat, small pieces, Cornelia turned her attention to the bowl. She poured the green liquid into its depths, a shimmering cascade that glimmered like emerald flames. As the liquid settled, Cornelia's voice hummed with an incantation, her words carrying the weight of ancient knowledge and power.
In an instant, a flicker of green fire sprang to life, dancing atop the surface of the liquid. Its ethereal glow cast a surreal illumination, transforming the ordinary bowl into a vessel of enchantment. Shadows flickered and played upon the cabin walls, as if the very room had become a stage for magic itself.
Ygor's gaze locked onto Blue, his eyes filled with concern as he witnessed her unconscious. Despite her silent state, his sensitive ears detected faint, almost imperceptible whimpering that tugged at his heartstrings.
In a mesmerizing display of magic, a radiant golden light took the form of Cornelia's hand, delicately reaching towards the green flame. As her hand made contact, a breathtaking transformation ensued. The liquid within the bowl seemed to defy gravity, soaring out of its confines with graceful fluidity. It floated in the air, suspended like a glistening bubble, casting an iridescent glow that bathed the cabin in a surreal radiance.
The floating liquid became a canvas for the dancing and shimmering golden light, which traced intricate patterns written in the runes of magic. With every subtle movement and shift, the elixir responded, guided by Cornelia's hand, as if it were alive. The soft, ethereal hum resonated through the cabin, its gentle vibrations filling the air and contributing to the enchanting atmosphere that enveloped the space.
Ygor's eyes widened in awe as he witnessed this captivating spectacle, his senses fully immersed in the enchantment unfolding before him. The delicate scent of the potion wafted through the air, an intoxicating blend of natural ingredients and mystical energies. It mingled with the comforting aroma of burning firewood, creating an olfactory tapestry that enveloped the room.
“Wemembeh’ jus’ one dwop o’ fwuffy fwend goes fowebah sweepies” Wendy reminded, her voice filled with caution and trepidation. The anticipation was palpable, causing her little legs to tremble with a mixture of anxiety and hope.
“I know, Wendy” Cornelia replied with concern. Slowly, with delicate precision, she reached out and began removing the intricately carved magic runes that encircled the floating bubble. Each rune dislodged weakened the magic, and the room seemed to hold its breath in anticipation.
As the runes dissipated one by one, a single drop from the shimmering green bubble fell into Blue's mouth, like a droplet of life itself. In that fleeting moment, the magic took hold, invigorating her senses and drawing her back from the abyss of unconsciousness. Blue's eyes fluttered open, her vision initially blurry as she adjusted to the renewed world around her. Gradually, the fog lifted, revealing the figure of another fluffy sitting in front of her, a woman with a mysterious allure, half of her face veiled by a cascade of hair, and Ygor, the gentle ogre.
Blue wakes up, her vision blurry at first. When they cleared, she saw another fluffy sitting in front of her, a strange woman with half her face covered by her hair, and Ygor.
"Mommeh?" Blue's voice trembled with a mixture of longing and confusion, seeking comfort in the familiarity of a mother's embrace.
"No, sorry," Cornelia replied gently, her voice carrying a touch of sympathy. With great care, she cradled Blue in her hands, providing a sense of security and protection.
The cabin enveloped them in a cocoon of warmth and safety, shielding them from the world's uncertainties.
"Let's give you a bath before I return you to Ygor, is that okay?" Cornelia offered, her words laced with kindness and concern. Blue nodded, a silent agreement to the caring gesture that awaited her.
As Cornelia cradled Blue in her arms, Ygor's curious gaze wandered to the bookshelf, where a plush velvet tome caught his attention. With a gentle touch, he retrieved the book, feeling the smoothness of the fabric beneath his fingertips. Opening it, Ygor's eyes widened at the sight of a meticulously drawn map, its intricate details beckoning him into a world he’s never seen before.
His gaze shifted to the strange numbers inscribed alongside the map, written in elegant script that danced across the aged parchment. Ygor traced the lines and deciphered the enigmatic message contained within.
"Two... tw-twenty-six degrees, twelve minutes, and forty-four seconds, N—No- no- north," Ygor read aloud, his voice filled with a mix of curiosity.
Cornelia emerged from the bath, her bare feet padding softly against the wooden floor, carrying Blue wrapped in a clean towel. Drops of water glistened upon her skin like scattered diamonds, reflecting the warm glow of the cabin's hearth. She approached Ygor, her presence radiating a sense of wisdom and familiarity.
"It seems you've improved since the last time I met you," Cornelia remarked, her voice carrying a tone of admiration.
The scent of lavender lingered in the air, intermingling with the comforting aroma of freshly brewed tea.
“Ygor been reading lots lately, collected many books” Ygor proudly proclaimed. The room resonated with the gentle rustling of pages, as each one whispered a tale of knowledge and discovery.
Gently placing Blue on the floor, Cornelia watched with fondness as the little fluffy’s hooves create a delicate patter against the wooden surface as she scurried towards Ygor. She nuzzled against his massive leg, seeking solace and comfort. A warm smile graced Cornelia's lips.
"That's truly admirable," Cornelia remarked, her voice carrying a gentle cadence. The crackling fire painted flickering shadows upon the walls, enveloping the space in a comforting embrace. The scent of smoldering logs mingled with the sweet fragrance of wildflowers, creating an enchanting symphony for the senses.
“Until the ‘metal people’ burnt them along with Ygor house” Ygor replied, his voice echoed with a touch of sorrow. The weight of his words hung in the air, mingling with the flickering shadows cast by the crackling flames.
"The metal people," Cornelia mused, her thoughts drifting to the relentless knights of The King. The weight of their armored presence pressed upon her mind, like a looming storm cloud on the horizon. The memory of their arrival, their steel-clad boots treading upon the sacred grounds of the Old World, sent shivers down her spine. Their presence had brought upheaval, disrupting the delicate balance of harmony and magic that once thrived.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Cornelia said, her voice laced with sincerity. "You can stay here as long as you need," she assured, her words offering solace and a sense of belonging amidst the uncertainty of the outside world.
“Thank you, Ygor will find new home soon,” Ygor replied. “By the way, Ygor find black fluffy interesting, never seen one before,” he remarked, pointing towards Wendy.
Cornelia followed his gaze, her eyes tracing the ebony contours of Wendy's fur. The contrast of darkness against light evoked a sense of curiosity and wonder.
“I saw her in an alley a couple of months ago while I was gathering ingredients,” Cornelia recalled as she adjusted her favorite chair, drawing it closer to Ygor's seat. Blue and Wendy sat side by side, their eyes filled with anticipation as they listen to the story Cornelia is about to tell.
Clad in a worn cloak that concealed her features, Cornelia blended seamlessly into the bustling village crowd. The fabric whispered with every movement, a soft rustle against her skin as she navigated the narrow streets. The air was alive with the aroma of freshly baked bread, mingling with the scent of spices wafting from market stalls.
After procuring a bundle of garlic from the local market, the distinct scent of its earthy essence enveloped Cornelia's senses. Its pungency mingled with the vibrant tapestry of smells, drawing her further into the heart of the village. With purposeful steps, she made her way through the labyrinthine streets, seeking the hidden corners where the secrets of her craft could be uncovered.
The alleyway she ventured into concealed itself in shadow, an intimate sanctuary away from prying eyes. She brushed her finger against the rough brick walls as she walked deeper into the alley. Carefully, she extracted small glass jars from her satchel, their delicate clinks echoing in the stillness of the alley. Each jar captured the essence of a captured lizard, their gentle rustling and soft scales brushing against the glass as they adjusted to their temporary confines. Cornelia observed the ethereal dance of light on their vibrant scales, the sight creating a mesmerizing spectacle that seemed to hint at the creatures' otherworldly origins.
As her task neared completion, a hushed whimpering caught Cornelia's acute hearing, piercing through the ambient sounds of the alley. The muffled cries stirred her curiosity and compassion, grounding her in the present moment. The echoes of distress resonated with a palpable weight, urging her to investigate further. With a mixture of anticipation and concern, she followed the trail of whimpering, guided by an invisible thread that led her deeper into the shadows of the alleyway.
“Ugwy babbeh, momma gib’ fowebah sweepies!!!” scowled a fat, ugly fluffy with a distinct rhotacism, muted pink fur, and a stained green mane. Its harsh yet infant-like voice reverberated off the soot-covered walls, creating a dissonant symphony in the alley.
Cornelia's voice cut through the air like a whip cracking, her words carrying an authority that resonated with power and determination.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, street-rat!" she scowled back, her tone laced with both indignation and warning. An ethereal light, emanating from her cloak, bathed the alley in a soft, otherworldly glow, casting long, dancing shadows upon the cracked pavement.
"Smawty mommah beautiful! no gwiv biwth to ugwy babbeh!" the street-rat scowled again with its distinctive speech impediment. The creature turned to face Cornelia, its initial anger giving way to shock as its beady eyes widened in disbelief. The glow from Cornelia's cloak seemed to hold the street-rat captive, its mesmerizing radiance momentarily erasing the malice etched across its grotesque features.
“Hooman?” asked the street-rat, its voice trembling with a hint of hope amidst the chaos of its existence.
"Yes, a human," Cornelia affirmed, her tone firm yet laced with empathy.
The alley seemed to shrink around them, the dilapidated brick walls closing in as the tension mounted.
The street-rat's eyes widened with desperation, and in a flurry of movement, it scurried towards Cornelia, collapsing before her in a pitiful display of submission. Dust billowed around them, filling the air with a gritty haze, while the distant echo of passing footsteps underscored the urgency of their encounter.
“Nice wady, pweese take fwuffy wivh yu!” The street-rat's cries echoed through the desolate alley, its once-malicious tone transformed into a pitiful plea. Its snout nuzzled against Cornelia's leg, a feeble attempt at seeking solace and salvation.
“Fwuffy nu wan’ stay wivh ugwy babbehs!!!” the street-rat begged, its snout nuzzled against Cornelia's leg, a feeble attempt at seeking solace and salvation.
Cornelia, her heart heavy with the weight of the street-rat's anguish, carefully stepped over the pathetic creature, making her way toward the vulnerable baby lying at the end of the alley. Drawing closer, a chilling tableau of horror assaulted her senses. The metallic tang of blood hung in the air, intermingling with the sickly stench of decay. Before her eyes lay a grim testament to the darkest depths of despair. Foals with muted and stained bloodstained fur, their dull hues tainted with their own intestines, bore the scars of a brutal struggle. Bite marks marred their tender flesh, evidence of cannibalistic desperation, while trampled bodies bore witness to the unforgiving nature of this forsaken place.
As Cornelia knelt down to retrieve the fluffy, the air hung heavy with anticipation. The scent of damp concrete and decaying refuse mingled with the disgusting tang of blood, creating an atmosphere of unease. The dim light of the alleyway cast long, haunting shadows that danced along the walls.
But as Cornelia's hand closed around the trembling infant fluffy, a sudden, searing pain shot through her senses. A sharp SNAP echoed through the air, accompanied by the sickening sound of teeth sinking into flesh. Cornelia's cry of agony reverberated off the surrounding buildings, its raw intensity tinged with shock and disbelief.
The pink-furred mother street rat's jaws remained stubbornly clenched, its grip unyielding. Cornelia's vision blurred with tears, her vision shortly distorted by the excruciating pain. With a swift, instinctive motion, fueled by a mix of agony and surprise, Cornelia swung her injured hand in a wild arc, flinging the fluffy across the alley.
“What the?” Cornelia cried out. She has never encountered a fluffy that bites. Let alone, one that bites this hard. She swings her hand and threw the fluffy across the alley.
“MEANIE WADY! WHY TAKE UGWY BABBEH?” the street-rat's shrill voice pierced the air, its cries echoing like the wails of a frustrated toddler. The sound reverberated through the narrow passage, carrying a mix of confusion, anger, and sorrow. It blended with the backdrop of distant traffic, creating a dissonant symphony of chaos and distress.
“TAKE MUMMAH! KIWW UGWY BABBEH!” The street-rat frantically stomped the ground in uncontrolled rage. “nu wan’ meanie wady to take vewy ugwy babbeh!!!” the street-rat charged towards the witch.
As Cornelia clasped the fragile baby in her trembling hand, determination coursed through her veins, lending a renewed strength to her stance. The musty odor of the alleyway saturated the air with a pungent reminder of the harsh realities of this grim world.
But before she could fully process the unfolding situation, a searing pain shot through her leg like a lightning bolt. The sensation was akin to the piercing bite of a thousand needles, laced with the unmistakable pressure of a sharp object. Cornelia's scream reverberated through the alley, carrying her anguish and shock to the distant corners of the forgotten cityscape.
The street-rat's unicorn horn, a menacing weapon honed by the merciless streets, impaled Cornelia's left leg. The relentless strength behind the attack sent a blur of conflicting sensations—a symphony of pain, desperation, and disbelief —piercing through her body like shattered glass.
In the midst of her suffering, Cornelia became acutely aware of the grim reality that governed this alleyway. The countless deaths and constant struggle for survival had forged these street-rats into formidable adversaries. Their resilience and innate strength were evident in their very existence. It was a harsh lesson learned in an instant—the living street-rats were much stronger than one could ever anticipate.
As she fought to maintain her footing, Cornelia's vision swayed with a mixture of pain-induced dizziness and the swirling chaos of the alley. The scent of blood intermingled with the dank aroma of decay, enveloping her senses in a suffocating haze. The gritty texture of the alley's uneven pavement seemed to press against her fingertips, grounding her amidst the tumultuous storm of emotions.
Despite the excruciating torment and the formidable foe embedded in her leg, Cornelia clung to her resolve. With unwavering determination, she focused on protecting the fragile life in her arms, steeling herself for the challenges that lay ahead. The relentless struggle for survival in this unforgiving world had etched itself into her very being, and she was prepared to face its darkest truths head-on.
“Fwuffy stuck!!!” cried the street-rat, her voice trembling with desperation as she attempted to dislodge herself from Cornelia's lower leg. The sharp pain intensified, searing through Cornelia's flesh, eliciting a guttural cry of agony that reverberated through the alley.
In that moment, Cornelia's instincts kicked in, and with a surge of raw magical power, she conjured a blast wave of energy that pulsed through the air. The crackling energy engulfed the street-rat, propelling her forcefully into a nearby brick wall. The impact shattered the ancient masonry, and the street-rat lay there, her body bloodied and broken, her ability to move forever stolen.
“Fwuffy can’t move, hewp!” the street-rat whimpered, her words garbled and distorted by her injuries. The alleyway seemed to echo with her pain and despair.
Cornelia turned to leave the scene, a mix of relief and sorrow weighing upon her heart. But before she could vanish into the shadows, her eyes met the wide-eyed gaze of a villager who had witnessed her extraordinary display of magic. The villager's features contorted with shock, and his trembling voice pierced the air like a thunderclap, “Witch!”
“Witch!” The word reverberated through the alley, igniting a cacophony of shouts and gasps from the onlookers who had rushed to the scene. Their voices swirled with a mix of fear, awe, and accusation, intertwining with the faint scent of damp stone and the distant hum of city life.
Sensing the mounting danger, Cornelia slipped away, melding into the shadows like a ghost. All that remained was the street-rat, now broken and vulnerable, desperately calling out, her voice strained and pleading, “Nu take baby, nu take baby, pwease…”
“Fwuffy not know stweet-wats can make hoomans go ouchies” said Blue, her voice filled with a mixture of curiosity and concern. Her tiny hooves tapped softly on the wooden floor as he shifted in place, The air hung heavy with the scent of burning candles, casting a warm glow upon the room and bathing the scene in a gentle, flickering light..
“The alleyways are so full of death and destruction, only the strongest and most psychotic survive. I feel bad for them” replied Cornelia.
“Is like ogre life too, ogre warriors no longer live in peaceful lands, ogre fight to survive to ‘nother day” said Ygor, his voice, deep and resonant, bore the weight of sorrow.
The crackling fire in the hearth popped and hissed, casting shadows upon the walls, their movements mirroring the flickering emotions of the conversation.
“Well, we don’t have to face that depression anymore… Anyways, let’s eat!” Cornelia offered reassurance, her voice filled with conviction and a sense of determination.
The room seemed to come alive with the aroma of freshly prepared food; as if the very essence of the cast spell carried a tantalizing scent that made the Wendy and Blue’s mouths water. The tables gracefully glided towards them, their wooden legs creaking softly, while the dishes floated gently through the air, releasing a symphony of inviting aromas.
“I cooked meals using a spell the moment you and your fluffy arrived,” said Cornelia, her voice carrying a hint of pride. The room was filled with the tantalizing aromas of the freshly cooked meal. The scents of herbs, spices, and cooked ingredients mingled together in a mouth-watering symphony, infusing the air with the essence of culinary delight.
Ygor's gaze shifted to Cornelia, a newfound admiration gleaming in his eyes. Candlelight filled the room with a warm glow, casting a soft illumination on the scene, while the crackling fire in the hearth provided a comforting backdrop of pops and crackles paired with dancing shadows.
Cornelia's ability to cast multiple spells simultaneously was a testament to her skill and proficiency. Ygor could not help but be impressed by her effortless command over magic. There was a grace and elegance in her gestures, as if the very air around her responded to her every command. Despite the intricacy and complexity of the spells she had cast, there was no trace of fatigue or weariness on Cornelia's face. Her energy remained vibrant and radiant, her eyes sparkling with a sense of fulfilment and contentment. It was as if the act of magic itself invigorated her, filling her with a renewed sense of purpose.
Ygor's massive hand gripped the turkey leg, the savory aroma of roasted meat wafting up to his nose, mingling with the tantalizing scent of herbs and spices.
Amidst the anticipation, Cornelia, Wendy, and Blue bowed their heads in prayer, their hushed voices forming a gentle harmony that resonated through the room. The flickering candlelight cast an ethereal ambiance. The fragrant scent of burning candles intertwined with the aroma of the freshly cooked meal, infusing the air with a sense of reverence and gratitude.
Ygor paused, a deep respect shining in his eyes, as he respectfully placed the turkey leg back onto the plate. The flickering flames illuminated the scene, their golden glow casting a warm and comforting light. The air seemed to hum with a sacred energy, as if the very essence of their gratitude and prayers permeated every corner of the room.
“We pray before meals, we can now eat!” said Cornelia told Ygor when she finished praying.
“For ogres, pray and eating is same thing” replied Ygor.
“I remember,” Cornelia replied.
A touch of nostalgia as memories flooded Cornelia’s mind. She recalled the time spent among the ogres, their solemn devotion to the act of eating. Contrary to human myths, they were meticulous and mindful, making no mess as they communed with their god, Grunferth.
Cornelia delicately lifted a morsel from her plate, savoring the anticipation of the first bite. As she brought the food to her lips, a symphony of sensory delights unfolded within her. The succulent meat yielded to her teeth, releasing a burst of flavors that danced upon her palate. The crisp sound of Ygor's powerful jaws joining the feast resonated alongside the collective enjoyment, harmonizing with the heightened aroma of the meal that enveloped the space in a tantalizing embrace.
As Ygor took the final bite of his turkey leg, his ears pricked up, attuned to the faint but distinct sounds that drifted through the air. The cacophony of rolling wood, stone, and metal reached his senses, causing him to instinctively turn his gaze towards the window, his curiosity piqued.
"What did you hear?" Wendy inquired, her innocent eyes reflecting a touch of confusion.
But before Ygor could respond… KABOOM!!!
An earth-shattering explosion tore through the air, violently rending the walls asunder. The debris-filled chaos revealed a seething mass of enraged villagers, their figures cloaked in heavy rain and darkness. Riding at the forefront were armored knights, their steeds thundering beneath them. Amidst their ranks stood an ominous contraption, an immense rifle-cannon affixed to a sturdy bipod, wisps of smoke curling from its barrel.
The air crackled with a blend of fear and anticipation. The scent of burning gunpowder mingled with the acrid tang of destruction, permeating the atmosphere. Shadows loomed and flickered upon the shattered walls, cast by the flickering torches held by the angry mob.
"Load the slug!" bellowed the commanding voice of the knight leader, his words reverberating through the air like a thunderous declaration of imminent danger. Ygor's heart skipped a beat as the weight of the knight's authority bore down on him, sending a shiver down his spine.
With a sense of urgency, two knights swiftly inserted a sharp metal slag, gleaming like a wicked fang, into the massive barrel of the punt-gun. The weighty clink of metal meeting metal reverberated through the air, accompanied by the subtle hiss of their breaths as they worked diligently. Meanwhile, another knight meticulously poured an entire jar of gunpowder into the giant gun-cannon’s bulky breech, the grains cascading with a soft rustle that hinted imminent danger.
As the thick smoke cleared, the cracked force field revealed Cornelia standing tall, her arm aglow with a radiant aura as she valiantly upheld the shield. The scent of tainted ozone intermingled with the acrid aroma of spent gunpowder, lingering as a testament to the clash of magical forces and weaponry.
"Step out, monster!" the commander's voice boomed, cutting through the tense silence like a thunderclap. "Or you and your friends will taste the fury of two pounds of pure lead, forged stronger than your vile witchcraft!"
Cornelia's brows furrowed in bewilderment. "How did they find us?" she whispered, her voice laced with concern.
"Big, stupid ogres leave big, stupid footsteps!" the knight spat out a response filled with contempt and disdain. His words rang out, a venomous taunt that intensified the looming threat. "That buckshot was only a warning! Now step out, or face the consequences!"
Blue and Wendy, their tiny frames quivering with fear, sought solace behind Cornelia and Ygor, their small hooves instinctively covering their fragile, fluffy heads. Whimpers of trepidation escaped their trembling lips, mingling with the heavy air, adding an undercurrent of vulnerability.
Ygor, his massive form radiating determination, stepped forward, his footsteps reverberating like an earthquake that sent waves of terror rippling through the hearts of the villagers. The ground seemed to tremble beneath him, spreading whispers of fear and uncertainty among those who watched.
“What are you doing?” Cornelia asked, her voice laced with concern and near-panic, questioned Ygor's decision, desperately seeking to understand his intentions in the face of such imminent danger.
“Go find safety! Ygor fight them alone” Ygor proclaimed, his words laced with unwavering bravery.
“Ygow… Bwoo nu wike scawy guns… don’t go” Blue's voice trembled with fear, her eyes pleading for him to reconsider.
Ygor voice softened as he knelt down to her level, his words filled with reassurance. “Ygor had to… must stand up for the little ones… Ygor be strong fo’ Blue” he whispered, his voice a gentle balm amid the chaos.
With a final glance at Cornelia and the trembling foals, Ygor stepped forward, his determination carving a path through the looming danger. The weight of his responsibility settled upon his broad shoulders as he braced himself to confront the impending threat.
Cornelia's eyes locked with Wendy's, a silent understanding passing between them. In that moment, a flicker of determination ignited in Cornelia's gaze, mirroring the resolute nod of the black-fluffed creature. The air crackled with a mix of tension and anticipation, as if the very atmosphere held its breath.
"Bwoo, come wivh Wendy!" Wendy's voice carried a sense of urgency, beckoning Blue to seek refuge deeper within the safety of the cabin. The faint sound of hurried hoof-taps echoed through the wooden floor as the foals scurried away, seeking solace from the impending confrontation.
Cornelia's voice rang out with unwavering conviction, cutting through the charged air. "You don't have to fight alone," she declared, her words infused with a steadfast resolve.
Ygor's eyes stared into Cornelia's, seeking reassurance amidst the mounting peril. His broad shoulders squared with determination as he posed his question, concern etched in his voice. "Are the widdle ones safe?"
A fleeting moment of relief passed over Cornelia's features as she met Ygor's gaze. "Yes," she replied, her voice a steadying anchor in the midst of chaos.
“Last chance monster! My patience has ended!!!” The commander’s final warning reverberated through the air, a surge of adrenaline coursed through Ygor's veins. With each heavy footfall, the commander's armor resonated, the clinking sound echoing the weight of the impending clash. The ground itself seemed to tremble, mirroring the intensity that hung heavy in the air.
With one last determined glance back at Cornelia, Ygor stepped forward, his footsteps leaving an indelible impression upon the soil, each stride a testament to his bravery and the impending struggle that awaited.
"You've made a grave mistake, knight..." Cornelia's voice reverberated with seething rage, her words slicing through the tense air like a sharpened blade.
“We’re not leaving without your corpses, monsters!!!” bellowed the commander, his voice laced with venomous determination.
“I’m a forest witch, and you have entered my domain… LEAVE. MY. HOME!!!” Cornelia demanded as her eyes glowed with magic rage. The air crackled with an electric energy, a palpable tension that hung heavy amidst the looming clash of opposing forces.
The commander's signal sliced through the charged stormy atmosphere, setting the massive punt-gun's sights squarely on Ygor, while the villagers tightened their grips on their spears, preparing for the impending clash., while the villagers tightened their grips on their spears, ready for the impending assault.
SWISH!!!
A floating bubble of shimmering green liquid burst forth from the depths of the cabin, hurtling towards the commander with astonishing speed. The commander's reflexes kicked in, evading the peculiar water just moments before it could make contact.
SPLASH!!!
The strange substance that once healed Blue drenched the gunner’s hapless body. Anguished screams tore through the air, echoing with torment and despair, as the gunner’s flesh withered and decayed, leaving behind a grotesque skeletal figure that sent shivers of terror coursing through the hearts of the villagers. The unsettling transformation gripped them. The sight of this macabre spectacle fueled their fear and deepened their animosity, fanning the flames of their hatred towards the forest witch and her allies.
A momentary hush settled upon the battleground, shattered by the commander's malevolent grin. From the depths of the forest, more guns emerged, revealing a hidden arsenal of lethal force.
“Did you seriously think we only brought one gun?” The commander sneered, his words laced with derision and arrogance.
Yet, Ygor and Cornelia stood firm, their resolve unyielding amidst the encroaching danger. With a single swift gesture, the commander's hand unleashed a swift resounding gesture that sliced through misty powder-laced air.
“FIRE!!!”

• ---[Chapter 1]---
• ---[Chapter 2: Part I, Part II, Part III]---

Clad in a worn cloak that concealed her features, Cornelia blended seamlessly into the bustling village crowd. The fabric whispered with every movement, a soft rustle against her skin as she navigated the narrow streets. The air was alive with the aroma of freshly baked bread, mingling with the scent of spices wafting from market stalls.
After procuring a bundle of garlic from the local market, the distinct scent of its earthy essence enveloped Cornelia's senses. Its pungency mingled with the vibrant tapestry of smells, drawing her further into the heart of the village. With purposeful steps, she made her way through the labyrinthine streets, seeking the hidden corners where the secrets of her craft could be uncovered.
The alleyway she ventured into concealed itself in shadow, an intimate sanctuary away from prying eyes. She brushed her finger against the rough brick walls as she walked deeper into the alley. Carefully, she extracted small glass jars from her satchel, their delicate clinks echoing in the stillness of the alley. Each jar captured the essence of a captured lizard, their gentle rustling and soft scales brushing against the glass as they adjusted to their temporary confines. Cornelia observed the ethereal dance of light on their vibrant scales, the sight creating a mesmerizing spectacle that seemed to hint at the creatures' otherworldly origins.
As her task neared completion, a hushed whimpering caught Cornelia's acute hearing, piercing through the ambient sounds of the alley. The muffled cries stirred her curiosity and compassion, grounding her in the present moment. The echoes of distress resonated with a palpable weight, urging her to investigate further. With a mixture of anticipation and concern, she followed the trail of whimpering, guided by an invisible thread that led her deeper into the shadows of the alleyway.
“Ugwy babbeh, momma gib’ fowebah sweepies!!!” scowled a fat, ugly fluffy with a distinct rhotacism, muted pink fur, and a stained green mane. Its harsh yet infant-like voice reverberated off the soot-covered walls, creating a dissonant symphony in the alley.
Cornelia's voice cut through the air like a whip cracking, her words carrying an authority that resonated with power and determination.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, street-rat!" she scowled back, her tone laced with both indignation and warning. An ethereal light, emanating from her cloak, bathed the alley in a soft, otherworldly glow, casting long, dancing shadows upon the cracked pavement.
"Smawty mommah beautiful! no gwiv biwth to ugwy babbeh!" the street-rat scowled again with its distinctive speech impediment. The creature turned to face Cornelia, its initial anger giving way to shock as its beady eyes widened in disbelief. The glow from Cornelia's cloak seemed to hold the street-rat captive, its mesmerizing radiance momentarily erasing the malice etched across its grotesque features.
“Hooman?” asked the street-rat, its voice trembling with a hint of hope amidst the chaos of its existence.
"Yes, a human," Cornelia affirmed, her tone firm yet laced with empathy.
The alley seemed to shrink around them, the dilapidated brick walls closing in as the tension mounted.
The street-rat's eyes widened with desperation, and in a flurry of movement, it scurried towards Cornelia, collapsing before her in a pitiful display of submission. Dust billowed around them, filling the air with a gritty haze, while the distant echo of passing footsteps underscored the urgency of their encounter.
“Nice wady, pweese take fwuffy wivh yu!” The street-rat's cries echoed through the desolate alley, its once-malicious tone transformed into a pitiful plea. Its snout nuzzled against Cornelia's leg, a feeble attempt at seeking solace and salvation.
“Fwuffy nu wan’ stay wivh ugwy babbehs!!!” the street-rat begged, its snout nuzzled against Cornelia's leg, a feeble attempt at seeking solace and salvation.
Cornelia, her heart heavy with the weight of the street-rat's anguish, carefully stepped over the pathetic creature, making her way toward the vulnerable baby lying at the end of the alley. Drawing closer, a chilling tableau of horror assaulted her senses. The metallic tang of blood hung in the air, intermingling with the sickly stench of decay. Before her eyes lay a grim testament to the darkest depths of despair. Foals with muted and stained bloodstained fur, their dull hues tainted with their own intestines, bore the scars of a brutal struggle. Bite marks marred their tender flesh, evidence of cannibalistic desperation, while trampled bodies bore witness to the unforgiving nature of this forsaken place.
As Cornelia knelt down to retrieve the fluffy, the air hung heavy with anticipation. The scent of damp concrete and decaying refuse mingled with the disgusting tang of blood, creating an atmosphere of unease. The dim light of the alleyway cast long, haunting shadows that danced along the walls.
But as Cornelia's hand closed around the trembling infant fluffy, a sudden, searing pain shot through her senses. A sharp SNAP echoed through the air, accompanied by the sickening sound of teeth sinking into flesh. Cornelia's cry of agony reverberated off the surrounding buildings, its raw intensity tinged with shock and disbelief.
The pink-furred mother street rat's jaws remained stubbornly clenched, its grip unyielding. Cornelia's vision blurred with tears, her vision shortly distorted by the excruciating pain. With a swift, instinctive motion, fueled by a mix of agony and surprise, Cornelia swung her injured hand in a wild arc, flinging the fluffy across the alley.
“What the?” Cornelia cried out. She has never encountered a fluffy that bites. Let alone, one that bites this hard. She swings her hand and threw the fluffy across the alley.
“MEANIE WADY! WHY TAKE UGWY BABBEH?” the street-rat's shrill voice pierced the air, its cries echoing like the wails of a frustrated toddler. The sound reverberated through the narrow passage, carrying a mix of confusion, anger, and sorrow. It blended with the backdrop of distant traffic, creating a dissonant symphony of chaos and distress.
“TAKE MUMMAH! KIWW UGWY BABBEH!” The street-rat frantically stomped the ground in uncontrolled rage. “nu wan’ meanie wady to take vewy ugwy babbeh!!!” the street-rat charged towards the witch.
As Cornelia clasped the fragile baby in her trembling hand, determination coursed through her veins, lending a renewed strength to her stance. The musty odor of the alleyway saturated the air with a pungent reminder of the harsh realities of this grim world.
But before she could fully process the unfolding situation, a searing pain shot through her leg like a lightning bolt. The sensation was akin to the piercing bite of a thousand needles, laced with the unmistakable pressure of a sharp object. Cornelia's scream reverberated through the alley, carrying her anguish and shock to the distant corners of the forgotten cityscape.
The street-rat's unicorn horn, a menacing weapon honed by the merciless streets, impaled Cornelia's left leg. The relentless strength behind the attack sent a blur of conflicting sensations—a symphony of pain, desperation, and disbelief —piercing through her body like shattered glass.
In the midst of her suffering, Cornelia became acutely aware of the grim reality that governed this alleyway. The countless deaths and constant struggle for survival had forged these street-rats into formidable adversaries. Their resilience and innate strength were evident in their very existence. It was a harsh lesson learned in an instant—the living street-rats were much stronger than one could ever anticipate.
As she fought to maintain her footing, Cornelia's vision swayed with a mixture of pain-induced dizziness and the swirling chaos of the alley. The scent of blood intermingled with the dank aroma of decay, enveloping her senses in a suffocating haze. The gritty texture of the alley's uneven pavement seemed to press against her fingertips, grounding her amidst the tumultuous storm of emotions.
Despite the excruciating torment and the formidable foe embedded in her leg, Cornelia clung to her resolve. With unwavering determination, she focused on protecting the fragile life in her arms, steeling herself for the challenges that lay ahead. The relentless struggle for survival in this unforgiving world had etched itself into her very being, and she was prepared to face its darkest truths head-on.
“Fwuffy stuck!!!” cried the street-rat, her voice trembling with desperation as she attempted to dislodge herself from Cornelia's lower leg. The sharp pain intensified, searing through Cornelia's flesh, eliciting a guttural cry of agony that reverberated through the alley.
In that moment, Cornelia's instincts kicked in, and with a surge of raw magical power, she conjured a blast wave of energy that pulsed through the air. The crackling energy engulfed the street-rat, propelling her forcefully into a nearby brick wall. The impact shattered the ancient masonry, and the street-rat lay there, her body bloodied and broken, her ability to move forever stolen.
“Fwuffy can’t move, hewp!” the street-rat whimpered, her words garbled and distorted by her injuries. The alleyway seemed to echo with her pain and despair.
Cornelia turned to leave the scene, a mix of relief and sorrow weighing upon her heart. But before she could vanish into the shadows, her eyes met the wide-eyed gaze of a villager who had witnessed her extraordinary display of magic. The villager's features contorted with shock, and his trembling voice pierced the air like a thunderclap, “Witch!”
“Witch!” The word reverberated through the alley, igniting a cacophony of shouts and gasps from the onlookers who had rushed to the scene. Their voices swirled with a mix of fear, awe, and accusation, intertwining with the faint scent of damp stone and the distant hum of city life.
Sensing the mounting danger, Cornelia slipped away, melding into the shadows like a ghost. All that remained was the street-rat, now broken and vulnerable, desperately calling out, her voice strained and pleading, “Nu take baby, nu take baby, pwease…”
“Fwuffy not know stweet-wats can make hoomans go ouchies” said Blue, her voice filled with a mixture of curiosity and concern. Her tiny hooves tapped softly on the wooden floor as he shifted in place, The air hung heavy with the scent of burning candles, casting a warm glow upon the room and bathing the scene in a gentle, flickering light..
“The alleyways are so full of death and destruction, only the strongest and most psychotic survive. I feel bad for them” replied Cornelia.
“Is like ogre life too, ogre warriors no longer live in peaceful lands, ogre fight to survive to ‘nother day” said Ygor, his voice, deep and resonant, bore the weight of sorrow.
The crackling fire in the hearth popped and hissed, casting shadows upon the walls, their movements mirroring the flickering emotions of the conversation.
“Well, we don’t have to face that depression anymore… Anyways, let’s eat!” Cornelia offered reassurance, her voice filled with conviction and a sense of determination.
The room seemed to come alive with the aroma of freshly prepared food; as if the very essence of the cast spell carried a tantalizing scent that made the Wendy and Blue’s mouths water. The tables gracefully glided towards them, their wooden legs creaking softly, while the dishes floated gently through the air, releasing a symphony of inviting aromas.
“I cooked meals using a spell the moment you and your fluffy arrived,” said Cornelia, her voice carrying a hint of pride. The room was filled with the tantalizing aromas of the freshly cooked meal. The scents of herbs, spices, and cooked ingredients mingled together in a mouth-watering symphony, infusing the air with the essence of culinary delight.
Ygor's gaze shifted to Cornelia, a newfound admiration gleaming in his eyes. Candlelight filled the room with a warm glow, casting a soft illumination on the scene, while the crackling fire in the hearth provided a comforting backdrop of pops and crackles paired with dancing shadows.
Cornelia's ability to cast multiple spells simultaneously was a testament to her skill and proficiency. Ygor could not help but be impressed by her effortless command over magic. There was a grace and elegance in her gestures, as if the very air around her responded to her every command. Despite the intricacy and complexity of the spells she had cast, there was no trace of fatigue or weariness on Cornelia's face. Her energy remained vibrant and radiant, her eyes sparkling with a sense of fulfilment and contentment. It was as if the act of magic itself invigorated her, filling her with a renewed sense of purpose.
Ygor's massive hand gripped the turkey leg, the savory aroma of roasted meat wafting up to his nose, mingling with the tantalizing scent of herbs and spices.
Amidst the anticipation, Cornelia, Wendy, and Blue bowed their heads in prayer, their hushed voices forming a gentle harmony that resonated through the room. The flickering candlelight cast an ethereal ambiance. The fragrant scent of burning candles intertwined with the aroma of the freshly cooked meal, infusing the air with a sense of reverence and gratitude.
Ygor paused, a deep respect shining in his eyes, as he respectfully placed the turkey leg back onto the plate. The flickering flames illuminated the scene, their golden glow casting a warm and comforting light. The air seemed to hum with a sacred energy, as if the very essence of their gratitude and prayers permeated every corner of the room.
“We pray before meals, we can now eat!” said Cornelia told Ygor when she finished praying.
“For ogres, pray and eating is same thing” replied Ygor.
“I remember,” Cornelia replied.
A touch of nostalgia as memories flooded Cornelia’s mind. She recalled the time spent among the ogres, their solemn devotion to the act of eating. Contrary to human myths, they were meticulous and mindful, making no mess as they communed with their god, Grunferth.
Cornelia delicately lifted a morsel from her plate, savoring the anticipation of the first bite. As she brought the food to her lips, a symphony of sensory delights unfolded within her. The succulent meat yielded to her teeth, releasing a burst of flavors that danced upon her palate. The crisp sound of Ygor's powerful jaws joining the feast resonated alongside the collective enjoyment, harmonizing with the heightened aroma of the meal that enveloped the space in a tantalizing embrace.
As Ygor took the final bite of his turkey leg, his ears pricked up, attuned to the faint but distinct sounds that drifted through the air. The cacophony of rolling wood, stone, and metal reached his senses, causing him to instinctively turn his gaze towards the window, his curiosity piqued.
"What did you hear?" Wendy inquired, her innocent eyes reflecting a touch of confusion.
But before Ygor could respond… KABOOM!!!

6/5/23 Update (Part II of my Amazing Chiari Recovery Tale): "The Cerebellum Ain't Just About Balance, Baby"
So I want to make something very clear. From here on out, I wouldn't consider this a typical Chiari recovery tale at all anymore. As far as I know, it is not usual to have this level of emotion regulation benefit from a Chiari Surgery. But... that doesn't mean it /can't/ happen. Because clearly it's happened for me.
If you watch Dr. Stieg's "This Is Your Brain Podcast: Chiari in Adults" (the same one that convinced me to drive to NYC for consultation with him:
https://www.youtube.com/live/KyGGoA3Y2ko?feature=share
.... you'll see he takes questions at the end. And one of the questions he answers is about whether there are any big cognitive and emotional effects from Chiari. And he essentially says no -- unless there's hydrocephalus, water on the brain, being caused too, why whould there be? The cerebellum isn't really involved with higher cognitive and emotional stuff. It's more about the balance and all that. Of course, the stress and misery and anxiety of living with any chronic pain condition affects people's mental health. So certainly resolving the Chiari may still sort of indirectly help with their mental health in all sorts of very significant ways.
Ok. Fair enough. But here's where, if I were having an argument with him about this here and now (which I guess I am! Because that's apparently just how I am -- sorry, Dr. Stieg, intending no disrespect to your knowledge and authority -- you're the best!)... I would turn the same phrase he used with me in discussing my physical symptom resolution right back at him: "The proof is in the pudding." What he meant when he used that phrase was that, although of course we are going to do a follow-up MRI in a few months, and see how things stand, the imaging is not really important. The evidence is clear. I had the surgery, and all my physical problems (the crippling head aches and neck aches, the trouble choking on liquids and drooling, the numb/weak hands, episodes of dizziness, etc.) almost instantly resolved. We already know the surgery worked. I would say the proof is in the pudding about the drastic mental health/emotional changes I have experienced since the Chiari decompression as well.
So first, I guess I'm gonna have to get real with ya about the the psychiatric struggles. (Oh well. I never was that private of a person to start. I'll talk to just about anyone about just about anything. Always been that way.) So my struggles in this area, summarized:
I had my first bad episode of depression when I was about 13. There were definite stressors, and I would define it as the worst year of my life. Among the stressors, in brief: I was in 7th grade, first year of junior high. I was HORRIBLY bullied, harassed, and teased by the other kids. Mostly girls. They'd wait for me at my locker in mean girl gaggles, taunt and laugh at me throughout the halls, etc. It was *BAD*. Very bad. I can only speculate as to the reasons I got it so bad. I had gender-non-conforming interests. I hated wearing dresses and didn't like the stupid girl stuff I was supposed to care about. I liked Dungeons & Dragons and fighting video games and would rather hang out with my brother and his friends than any of the boring girls I knew. I kind of felt like I /was/ a boy, actually. No different from my brother. But needless to say, no one else really saw it that way. What they DID see... was that I was different, and not following the rules of what I was supposed to like and how I was supposed to act. And boy. The shit I got for it. Like I said... it was bad. They called me "The Thing" when they passed me in the halls ("Look at that THING! What is it? A boy or a girl? We don't know -- we'll just have to call it THING. Ha ha!"). They harassed and teased me about my breasts, because I was one of the first to develop ("There goes the goddess of puberty -- ha ha, goddess of puberty!") And, of course, I was smart - a nerd - always raising my hand to answer the questions in class - so that probably didn't help my popularity any either.
Anyway. No one ever stuck up for me. There were the kids who actively harassed me, and the ones who desperately avoided me to avoid being associated with me. I had no friends in the 7th grade. I had a few, back in the 6th. But lost them all when the 3 elementary schools got merged into the big junior high or whatever. Absolutely NO ONE thought it would be a good idea to associate with me. And so they didn't. It was SO bad, SO miserable, I thought about doing all kinds of crazy things to escape having to go back to school. Maybe... if I did something REALLY crazy, like stab my brother or something (who, by the way, I adored, but that was how desperate I was - like, you know, just a LITTLE stab wound, just for show) -- they'd just put me in a psych hospital or something and I'd never have to go back to school again? I obviously spent a lot of time thinking about killing myself. My mother ultimately ended up having to move me to an entirely different school because of the level of bullying. And it did help somewhat. (Also, the next year, I met my first boyfriend - which meant that I finally also had a friend - and it's no exaggeration to say that probably saved my life. We were inseparable for the next 3 years. He didn't care that I was a girl who kicked ass at Streetfighter. We spent our time playing Streetfighter together.)
13 was also the year my parents divorced. So like I said. A bad, bad year. And... I know that is about the time when I started to come emotionally off the rails and things changed for me. So I always sort of just assumed... that my brokenness was all the result of this social trauma I'd been through or what not. I mean, we all try to make sense of ourselves and our experiences somehow, through some sort of story, explanation. And that became my self-narrative.
Specifically, the sort of mental health struggles I ended up with were major emotion regulation issues. Like way exaggerated reactions to small things. High level of emotional reactivity, particularly rejection sensitivity, and high level of obsessive-compulsive level rumination and depression. Struggled with these things basically for life since, and always just assumed, well, that's how I am. Guess my experiences broke me, or maybe I was broken for birth. The way I tend to characterize myself in short-hand is as a "mini-borderline." (I'm a genuine licensed psychologist, so I can throw terms like that around if I want to!) And you can look up symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder if you're interested in learning more about that. But here is how I would qualitatively describe my problems:
A high level of emotional immaturity. It is like a 4-year-old child is running the show emotionally. And I can SEE it happening at the time (I have no problem with my higher cognitive functions!) -- I can no I am being ridiculous, over-reacting, being childish, whatever, but I unfortunately can't CONTROL that reaction. My stunted capacity for emotional regulation lost me a lot of friends. A lot of relationships. I was "too much" for a lot of people to deal with in that way. When I was sad, I was *TOO* intensely sad, boyfriends told me. SCARY sad. I was clingy. I was needy. I couldn't self-soothe. I hated being alone more than anything. My 4-year-old emotional self was always quivering in fear and always looking for somebody to save them. But there was never anybody around when they desperately needed that comfort and reassurance.
No problem with higher cognitive capacities. And was always of course embarrassed, ashamed, and so on for knowing there was something wrong with me and I wasn't able to function like other people in a "mature" emotional way. But I couldn't change it. Not after more than 10 years of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or Dialective Behavioral Therapy or insight-oriented therapy or trauma-based therapy. Not after trying a dozen different anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. I guessed it was just who I was. I guessed I was just too broken by my trauma history or whatever to ever really fix.
And that was the story I told myself. To make sense of who I was and why.
Only... what IF. It had never really been true. What if... there had been a pretty significant organic component the whole entire time? What if it had a little something to do with my brain sliding into my spinal canal and blocking CSF flow? Well... let's talk about the what-if.
In doing my week of deep-dive research into Chiari (since being diagnosed on 5/5/23, and meeting with Dr. Stieg for MRI review and consultation on 5/18), I learned a thing or two about Chiari
For example, I learned from Dr. Judy Hwang at Johns Hopkins
https://youtu.be/xQjToJy4LO8
... that although Chiari is congenital, there is OFTEN a particular moment that people can remember that triggered their symptoms. That these are often things like head blows and whiplash. (Which, of course, makes total sense. The force of the incident made the herniation worse, or as she mentions, due to the Chiari the person probably doesn't have the natural reserve of CSF that they should bathing and protecting the brain either.
And I learned this. That there's a good amount of evidence to show the cerebellum ain't just about balance, baby:
https://www.imrpress.com/journal/JIN/17/4/10.31083/j.jin.2018.04.0414/htm
"Recently, different studies have provided evidence that the presence of cerebellar degeneration or stroke may involve cognitive deficits beyond motor impairment, including the ability to form concepts and other language disorders [1, 2], impairment in executive functions [3], and visuospatial deficits [4], accompanied in many cases by a regressive personality, and emotional lability or dramatic mood swings."
[...] "cerebellar cognitive affective syndrome described by Schmahmann and Sherman [5] as characterized by the following: (a) Disturbances of executive function, including deficient planning, set-shifting, abstract reasoning, working memory, and decreased verbal fluency, (b) Impaired spatial cognition, including visuospatial disorganization and impaired visuospatial memory, (c) Linguistic difficulties, including dysprosodia, agrammatism, and mild anomia, and (d) Personality change, characterized by flattening or blunting of affect, and disinhibited or inappropriate behavior. [...] Personality changes include flattening or blunting of affect, disinhibited behaviors, such as over-familiarity, flamboyance, impulsive actions, humorous but inappropriate and flippant comments, regressive, childlike behaviors, and obsessive-compulsive traits."
Now, far be it from me to gain-say personal hero and actual expert in the field Dr. Philip Stieg (those who know me are probably laughing -- I am the sort of person who will argue with anyone about anything. KIND of a favorite personal hobby, and at times a bit annoying, as I'm sure my family and friends would attest). I know he said in that lecture that Chiari wouldn't be expected to have significant cognitive or emotional effects unless hydrocephalus was also at play.
And maybe this is all just simple, 100% placebo effect. And the seemingly miraculous benefits will all fade away soon. I'm just sayng... since waking up from my Chiari surgery, my mood has been wonderful. Calm, happy. No more depression, anxious rumination, weird obsessive-compulsive fixations... I kept assuming, of course, that this was just a temporary effect of pain medications, or muscle relaxant medications, or steroids, or SOMETHING. Maybe the steroids had triggered a hypomanic high, as the body's hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis was working on straightening itself back out. Maybe it was just the VAST, VAST relief of pretty much all the physical pain and problems that had been torturing me for the past 7 years suddenly being gone. I mean, obviously a mood this great wasn't actually going to LAST. Right? But nice to enjoy it while it does, anyway. I literallly called my first week after surgery "magical." My magical week. Emotionally calm and happy in a way I literally could not remember EVER having experienced. Sure, my neck and skull had been split open and hurt a little. But I honestly didn't care. I just felt so overall good. And DIFFERENT, emotionally. And it manifested in all kinds of little ways
I told you about my 4-year-old child emotional part. Always needy and scared. It's practically like I have no sense of object-permanence - like within a few days of a friend being out of sight, I can't even be sure that they exist anymore. And so that causes a lot of issues for me with this one particularly close friend of ours. He's not really a caller or a texter or a stay in touch type. Which has caused me all kinds of misery and struggles, because of my own emotional deficits and neediness. But.... from the moment I woke up from surgery. I didn't /have/ that constant quivering 4-year-old fear anymore. I knew this friend was my friend and cared about me. I knew I'd seem him again soon, even if not right then. It was completely, competely different. Another example -- weird obsessive-compulsive stuff around eating. I would often be petrified with fear, due to this overpowering conviction that if I got too fat, no one would love me anymore. I'd do weird highly unhealthy restricted eating and over-exercising things when I got into that mode because I was just so fixated on it and terrified about it. Another 5 lbs, and maybe no one would be capable of loving me anymore.
I noticed immediately after the Chiari surgery I had no concerns about it. I was able to eat when I was hungry without any worry at all. I knew people would love me whether I was fat or not. It had nothing to do with whether my friends (or my husband) loved me. I could just like... eat like a normal person without worrying about it at all. As much as I wanted. Whenever I was hungry. So nice, right???
So even though I warned myself not to get ahead of myself, and that these were probably just temporary effects of feeling a whole hell of a lot of instant pain relief... as the days passed... and passed... and I remained content and happy and basically didn't have ANY of my former mental health struggles at all... I began to wonder if something else had really been going on here all along. And thinking back, and back, on when my real mood regulation difficulties first began. Age 13. And what Dr. Judy Hwang had said about trauma. About a lot of people being able to recall a particular trauma -- head blow, whiplash -- around the time their symptoms began. And then I remembered something that I'd never even told Dr. Stieg about my history -- because it hadn't fit the personal narrative I'd created, right, of my own emotional struggles, and I'd kind of forgotten about it.
I *did* have my first traumatic brain injury at age 13. My family was frolicking at a winter party and we foolishly decided it would be a good idea to try to navigate this metal canoe down this steep icy hill as a sled. We hit a tree. I hit my head and was have thrown out. I was unconcious and seizing on the ground. I had a bit of a headache and concussion afterward, but doc said I could count down by 7s, and was probably fine.
What if I had Chiari to start, and it was worse herniated by the TBI, and *that* is why all the real emotional struggles began for me at that time? And what if it had been this cognitive-affective cerebellar syndrome thing *ALL* the goddamned time, my whole entire life since? I've had MORE trauma since, whiplash from car accident in recent years, so that could again explain a worsening of herniation and rapid escalation of symptoms in recent years.
Another thing I wonder about is my severe visual-spacial deficits. I am one of those people who can drive a route every day, a thousand times, and still need a GPS to get there. I have a true disability in that regard. I wonder if that has anything to do with the Chiari. I wonder if that should have been a clue all along to the organic nature of the problem
So I am still thinking, and processing, and exploring, and figuring out.
But the excting upshot is, it really DOES appear so far that the Chiari surgery solved not only all my PHYSICAL problems... but emotional problems I'd been struggling with since the age of 13 as well.
Here's another thing in favor of a cerebellar cognitive-affective syndrome being a significant cotributing cause toward my emotional regulation issues. Let's look at what happened with my mood the first week post-surgery:
Day 1 (5/24): (immediately after waking up from surgery)
A little lability. That night at dinner, I cried because I couldn't get the food cart slid over enough over the hospital bed to eat without dropping two pieces of saucy pasta on my night shirt, and couldn't move my neck more forward to eat because of the surgery. (My husband solved the problem by holding the plate close to my mouth while I ate. Thanks, dear. After food I felt better.
Day 2 (5/25): Wonderful mood
Day 3 (5/26): Wonderful mood
Day 4 (5/27): Wonderful mood
Day 5 (5/28): Wonderful mood
Day 6 (5/29): Wonderful mood
Day 7 (5/30): Wonderful mood
Day 8 (5/31): Wonderful mood.
So 8 days of consecutive great mood and none of my typica emotional issues or struggles.
BUT then... we have Day 9. 6/1. When I started to feel really terrible. In all the ways I /usually/ feel terrible again. Here's an excerpt I was writing to my friend about it: "Well, first major downturn in mood last night at about 10:30 pm. I guess I am still me. And Chiari surgery didn’t fix EVERYTHING. I was feeling *SO* good for a few days I guess I must have left my hopes get a little unrealistically high." Back to pacing, crying, agitated, depressive rumination, feeling that nobody loved me. Like I'd always felt before. Assumed that was going to be the end of my "magical" post-surgery week.
Except that... it WASN'T the end of my happy mood bubble. I continued feeling pretty good every day since then. But you know what WAS different that night? The one night I felt so terrible? I'd apparently developed a strep infection. So that gets you thinking, doesn't it? An infection, causing maybe some swelling... and triggering a return to symptoms like I had always had before. Strep was treated with antibiotics and my mood has continued to be wonderful since, with no returns to the old emotional troubles since. No depresssion, my extreme mood reactivity, no anxious panicky feelings of friends "disappearing" when they are out of my side. Just a seemingly full and complete ability to emotionally process as an adult rather than a 4-year-old.
So. Could all those emotion regulation problems REALLY just have been the result of cerebellar cognitive-affective syndrome? What story do I tell myself now? About why I have always been the way I have... and how that has suddenly so drastically changed?
And kind of drastic it is. Let me give you an example of my typical emotional functioning before Chiari surgery was like.
Strep/swollen brain night (old brain): "Boo hoo, I have no friends, my friend's aren't talking to me, nobody loves me, I have no friends, no cards." Followed by rantic pacing and crying. I then proceeded to send one of my dearest friends an e-mail accusing him of wishing I had died or clearly not caring at all if I had. (Clingy, terrified 4-year-old clearly driving the emotional truck. It is embarrassing, the way that 4-year-old acts. But I could never control it.
And then here, for point of comparison, is my emotional functioning AFTER Chiari surgery: (once I got the strep infection sorted) New Chiari-fixed brain: "Wow. I should probably let all my friends know what's going on." Proceeds to email 15 friends and tell them what is going on, receiving lots of instant emails and concern and support from everyone and one particularly impressive get well bouquet.
It seems like it iso much easier for me to function like a reasonable, emotionally mature adult and process emotional information appropriately. Now that brain is no longer falling down my spine. And I guess that's really maybe not so suprising, right??
So overall, I continue to be amazed and delighted by the results of my surgery. But there is really a LOT to process here. I feel like a whole brand new person, a Version 2.0. I hope my friends like the new me! It is definitely going to take some time to get to know this new me myself. But don't get me wrong -- I totally can't wait to get started!!

Hello everyone. I'm kind of new to perfumery. I got into this hobby just a couple months ago. I've made about 20 perfumes in the last two months, and I have a lot of fun making them. I went back and smelled a couple of the ones I made, And I'm a little concerned. The smell on many of them have faded. Not completely to nothing but they faded significantly. Is this normal? I kept them in a cool, dark place and in glass bottles. I'm concerned the smell will continue fading into nothingness. Is that the case? I know perfumes take a month to mature. Does maturation include the smells fading? They still smell nice, In fact, they probably all smell much nicer than they did when I made them. But I would say they're about half strength from what they were before. But that's a vague guess, obviously. My concern is that they're going to continue fading and be useless in a few months.
Did I do something wrong? What can I do differently?
I've also noticed that many of my aroma chemicals are losing their smell. I bought F-tecs and aroma chemicals from Perfumers World in Thailand. The f-tecs are mostly fine, I think, but I haven't smelled all of them. Many of the aroma chemicals, I would say about 65% of them have no smell whatsoever. And I got these maybe a month ago. Again, I kept these in dark bottles in a cool place.
What's going on here? is this normal? This is a little heartbreaking. I thought that this would be a long term hobby for me, but it seems that the materials that I bought less than three months ago are not useful anymore, or they're rapidly becoming less and less useful. I thought these things would have lasted longer than a couple months. How did this happen? What did I do wrong? How can I save the rest of them? And I can't keep them in the fridge. I live with other people, and there are about 100 little bottles here. Do you have aroma chemicals that are older than two months that still smell good? How did you do it?
Honestly, I'm just so broken up about this. Any guidance would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

I'm the typical millennial pinoy, grew up in the streets got educated from public schools and graduated from a state college.
Nothing fancy, just another underdog story.
At first it was ok, graduated just in time to ride the economic boom of 2011 and then just decided to play it safe with my career ever since.
Unlike other Programmers I didn't job hopped alot, this is just my 2nd job. Hence, my net income is just barely above 6 digits, as I said I'm Mr boring/playsafe.
No issue on that though, as my current job is a regular position and i work remotely, alot of vacation time, pretty relaxed as far as working is concerned.
But after 11yrs of this shit, the jealousy, the insecurities are finally creeping in.
I never had the financial support or safety nets most of my colleagues ever had, it wasn't a big deal back then since i was simply busy trying to make a name for myself.
but now I'm in my 30s, reality can no longer be ignored.
Its so hard to start from scratch in this shithole country.
While I'm still stuck trying to cement my first properties/paying off mortgages and just barely keeping my savings in one piece.
Everyone I know is already out there reaping the success of their investments, while ill still be grounded for 2more years.
I'm not looking for "high risk, high reward shit" heck i cant afford to fail, I am my own safety net. At least just give me break, a little push from all this grind

• I know enough about the PSEI to know how much i missed out on the COVID bear market,
  
• I know enough about a talyer, junkshops, ukay2x and rice from my odd jobs back in my youth, but i dont have anyone i can trust to handle the business. I tried it 2x but I always ended up with shit partners.
  

what's the point of having knowledge i cant even capitalize????
While my friends all just have to save up the capital and their reliable families will just look for the business for it.
I have a coworker who has a successful 5/6 gig going on, dude just borrowed money from his credit card since he cant save shit thanks to his extravagant lifestyle tapos opportunity pa lumapit. ROI in less than a year 20k passive income a month just like that.
While here I am, doing everything right, taking the slow and steady route and still somehow left out.
Its like opportunities are making an effort to avoid me.
Di ko nmn gusto maging mayaman, akala ng mga tao mayaman na ako pero sa totoo lang saktong middle class lang. Alanganin pa ang retirement.
kailan kaya dadating ang break ko?
doomed na ba ako na maging corporate slave hanggang pag tanda?
tingin tingin bank act nalang kada sweldo, di na ba ako magkaka passive income???
ang hirap maging average na tao sa mundo ng mga high achievers, ginagawa mo nmn lahat ng tama pero iwan na iwan ka pa din.
hayyz,,,, I need a new hobby, something that can distract me from the existential dread.
anyway, kung umabot ka dito, salamat sa pagbasa ng incoherent rant ko.

Introduction :

Working night shifts as a nurse can be both rewarding and challenging. While it offers a unique set of opportunities, it also presents various obstacles that can affect your well-being and performance. In this blog, we will explore the common challenges faced by night-shift nurses and provide valuable tips to help you navigate through them effectively. By implementing these strategies, you can optimize your physical and mental health, enhance your job satisfaction, and provide the best possible care for your patients.

1. Understanding the Circadian Rhythm:

The human body is naturally attuned to a circadian rhythm, a 24-hour internal clock that regulates our sleep-wake cycle. Night-shift nurses often struggle with disrupting this natural rhythm, leading to sleep disturbances and fatigue. By understanding how the circadian rhythm works and how it affects your body, you can make informed choices to minimize its impact on your well-being.

2. Establishing a Consistent Sleep Routine:

Maintaining a regular sleep routine is crucial for night-shift nurses. Create a sleep-friendly environment, invest in blackout curtains, and ensure a comfortable bed to promote quality sleep. Establish a consistent pre-sleep routine, such as dimming lights, engaging in relaxation techniques, or listening to soothing music. Avoid caffeine and stimulating activities before bed to optimize your sleep quality.

3. Prioritizing Nutrition and Hydration:

Night shifts can disrupt regular eating patterns and lead to unhealthy snacking or skipping meals altogether. Plan and prepare nutritious meals and snacks in advance to fuel your body properly. Opt for balanced meals with lean proteins, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. Stay hydrated by drinking water throughout your shift to prevent fatigue and maintain alertness.

4. Utilizing Strategic Napping:

Short power naps during breaks can help alleviate fatigue and improve alertness. Keep naps to 20-30 minutes to avoid feeling groggy upon waking. Find a quiet, comfortable space to rest, and use an eye mask or earplugs to block out distractions. Experiment with different nap timings to identify what works best for you.

5. Engaging in Physical Activity:

Regular exercise has numerous benefits for night-shift nurses. It can boost energy levels, improve mood, and enhance sleep quality. Prioritize physical activity by incorporating it into your daily routine. Engage in activities like brisk walking, jogging, yoga, or strength training. Find a workout buddy or join exercise classes to stay motivated.

6. Building a Support System:

Having a strong support system is crucial for night-shift nurses. Connect with colleagues who understand the challenges you face and share experiences, tips, and coping strategies. Engage in open communication with your loved ones to help them understand your unique schedule and requirements. Seek professional support or counseling if needed to manage stress or emotional difficulties.

7. Self-Care and Stress Management:

Nurturing your mental and emotional well-being is vital when working night shifts. Engage in self-care activities that promote relaxation, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or hobbies you enjoy. Practice effective stress management techniques, such as journaling, listening to calming music, or seeking professional counseling. Set boundaries and prioritize self-care to prevent burnout.

Conclusion:

Working night shifts as a nurse presents unique challenges, but with the right strategies and mindset, you can successfully navigate through them. Prioritize your sleep, nutrition, and overall well-being, and seek support from colleagues and loved ones. By implementing these tips and making self-care a priority, you can optimize your performance, maintain your health, and provide exceptional care to your patients, even during the night shift. Remember, taking care of yourself is essential to being the best nurse you can be.

The following vent is much more of a general vent about my life and thoughts than a vent about a specific bad day or topic. I'm going to be writing quite a bit, so if you don't have the time I don't recommend trying to read it, because I feel you should only read it if you can make it to the end of my vent.
I'm posting this because I just wanna have all my thoughts spilled over a public page. For no particular reason. Maybe people may see this and some may give advice, and while I'd definetly appreciate it, getting advice is not the MAIN reason I am writing this here. I just need to have this sitting here because it's just what my brain is telling me to do.
I have been wanting to write this for maybe a month now, but just never got around to to it until now.
First, a lil' introduction:
I am a guy, I am 16 years old and I was born in Romania and been living here since.
Ok, now without further ado, I will begin listing off the 5 main topics that have been frustrating me for the past few years.

1 My Ethnicity and Its Bullshit

I am a gypsy. More specifically a "spoitor", one of the many subgroups of gypsies in Romania.
Now, I know what you may think when reading that, but no, I am not talking about racism.
I have never been made fun of or bullied for being a gypsy.
So it's not a racism problem. Rather, it's more about the gripes I have with my ethnicity's people myself. More specifically the dumb traditions and culture and how they affect me:
-Our traditions We have so many unnecessarily trashy aspects to our traditions, especially marital ones. So basically, in most cases at least, the groom and bride's parents choose their spouses for them, or at least heavily influence their decision. It usually goes like this: The groom's parents find a bride for their son. They pay the bride's parents money for their daughter's hand in marriage for their son. So the groom and bride end up together because the parents and maybe other relatives decided so, instead of just two people falling in love with eachother and deciding to get married. Although I see that many of the new weds among my close and distant relatives are seemingly happy with their spouses, so I'm not exactly sure about every aspect. But yeah, there's arranged marriage. Now, besides the arrangement of the marriage, I've also noticed many of the grooms and brides pairs are related to some degree, usually not to the point of first degree cousins though. Nonetheless, incest is not as frowned upon in our ethnicity as you'd hope. So there's that. Now besides the fact that many marriages are arranged, and there's a pretty high chance the espoused are somewhat related, most of these marriages occur when the weds are between the ages of 12-17. So, we also got a whole lotta teen marriage. And also, they usually have kids soon after their marriages, so teen pregnancy is also common. And besides their weird obsession with early marriage, they also put so much emphasis on virginity that there's a tradition where relatives will gather at an event where the groom and bride have to have sex for the first time while a white shirt is placed under them, and one of the old relatives (I can't remember exactly which) then takes that bloodied shirt and shows it off to the people at the event to demonstrate the bride's virginity. Oh, I forgot to mention that it's mandatory only for the bride to be a virgin at the time she marries her husband, but the groom could have as many bodies as he wants by then. Which brings me to my next point: Gender inequality. And overall overbearing gender roles you're expected to adhere to.
-Our culture It's really dumb and douchey. Who would have thought? There's a great emphasis on acting grander and richer than you are, excessive cockiness and flexing, unnecesarry conflicts, a lack of education, and overall being an ignorant, insensitive, close-minded and conservative douchebag. Most of our people are homophobic, racist and very judgemental in general. They are very loud and obnoxious towards people, and lack self awareness. They never bring facts to their arguments, instead they just bark at eachother and maybe eventually fight dirty using blades, swords or axes, and over the most stupid irrelevant shit. They also have unconventional, risky jobs. And they're also way more superstitious and guillible on average than non-gypsies. Also more likely to abuse things like alcohol/smoking, and to become beggars. Many of them have improper hygiene. And the kids want to grow up too fast. I could just go on and on. But that's not really culture, it's more of a general personality and way of living.
When it comes to things like music and fashion though, we don't fare much better. Although I do have to say things like that are subjective.
And in my subjective opinion, our music and fashion sucks ass.
The music spoitor gypsies (and gypsies in general) listen pretty much exclusively to is called "manele" (it's very popular with non-gypsy romanians in general too). It's kinda like a oriental type of music with whiny melodic vocals, and there's other variations of it in other balkanic neighbours and middle eastern countries. The drums are pretty much the same in all songs, most of the manele singers sound very similar, and just in general all manele songs sound like eachother. But yeah, I just don't personally fuck with this type of music, however it's pretty much the only music my parents and relatives listen to, so I constantly am bombarded with it. Therefore I've kinda started despising it, even though I'm expected to like it too.
Music aside, my people's sense of fashion sucks ass too. Again, in my subjective opinion.
It's basically tacky ass designs and patterns, slim fitting clothes, edgy text and things like Gucci/Versce type lions and gold prints and just a whole bunch of goofy shit. Also a lot of ugly designer clothes (usually fake). It's more about the brand than the look. But yeah, overall many ridiculous patterns, eyesore bright colors, childish matchy ass outfits and overall clothes that just scream "Give me attention!!!". And once again, I am expected to want to dress like that too. Which I don't.
And how do these things affect me? Well, I am constantly expected to like and embrace/adopt their culture and adhere to their traditions too, and frankly, that's just not who I am, and attempting to be like that just gives me identity crisises and a lack of self expression. Fuck that. Trashy ass culture. It's like you took many of society's flaws and dialed 'em up to 11.

2 My Loneliness and Lack of Connections

I don't have many friends. Outside of my cousins, I'm genuinely friends with only one dude at school. And we pretty much only see eachother at school. Now don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, spending time with him is nice, we have many common interests to discuss and similar moralities. However, I would really like to connect to more people, and have a group of friends I know I could depend on to have fun and hang out with.
I mean there are 2-3 other guys that I don't go to high school with but I went to middle school with. We were friends in middle school and hung out sometimes. I'm technically still friends with them, but we haven't really been seeing eachother. Maybe only once every few months. At this point we're more like acquaintances on good terms than friends. And I just... don't feel very connected to them anymore. Like when we hang out something doesn't feel right. There was this one dude whom me and my best (and only) friend used to be a trio with. But him and my friend got into a fight once and stopped being friends. Then I was basically split between hanging out with the two separately, and eventually I kinda stopped talking to the dude. We never told eachother officially that we're not friends anymore or something, we just kinda fell out of connection with eachother, and I remained friends with my current best friend.
Yet once again, even though I do have one great friend, and a couple of nice cousins I hang out with, it just doesn't feel like enough to me for some reason.
In general, in public at least, I'm a quiet, awkward and shy person, mostly with new people, which made it pretty hard for me to make other friends. I'm introverted too, so my social battery is pretty low. Yet I don't want to be alone, I just don't know how not to be. I've missed quite a few opportunities of meeting new people and meeting older acquaintanes again, yet I was kept away from it by my social anxiety.
I spend most of my time alone, but not necessarily always because I want to.
I desperately want to have a bigger, connected group of friends to hang out with on the daily. Play fun games and record silly videos with them. Discuss personal issues and encourage eachother. Look at the stars in the night sky together and relax. But it just isn't happening, and I don't know how to get over my social anxiety and awkwardness, and it feels impossible to achieve.
I cannot hold a proper conversation with someone if I haven't known them for a while already. I'm reluctant to speak to the staff at stores or tell people on the bus that I need to get off the bus, because I keep fearing people care more than they actually do, and am afraid of judgement. I am especially awkward when it comes to talking to girls.
I feel weirdly envious seeing people hang out in large groups or having a significant other, makes me feel so left out and pathetic, like I'm missing out. I can't help but blame myself, because what else am I supposed to do?
I hate having social anxiety and a lack of social skills. It's eating away at my happiness anytime I remind myself of it.
And when it comes to my parents, well, although I'd say we're on at least ok terms with eachother, their conformation to the previously mentioned gypsy culture they try to enforce on me sours our interactions on the daily, and we just kinda have nothing in common to hang out over. And whenever I try being my true self and express my interests to them they judge me for it. So my relationship with my parents always goes from pretty alright to ohmygodimgonnafuckingleavethishouse. And through it all, I can't help but feel disconnected from them, which is so weird and kinda sad, because I felt genuine love for them when I was younger.
And when it comes to siblings, I have none.
So yeah, I'm lonely and I hate it. But actually trying to interact with new people is scary and tiring, so I hate that too. It's like an endless fucking vicious cycle of feeling depressed due to loneliness and feeling anxious due to attempting to socialize.

3 My Insecurities and Unfortunate Circumstances

I have a major insecurity: I'm a short dude. 5'5 (165 cm). I know it's not something I can change, therefore not something I should waste time and energy focusing on, but I just can't help it. When I see younger people and girls my age taller than me and I feel so bitter. It's just how my brain works. I get fucking happy when I see dudes shorter than me, how fucked up is that?
Besides that, I'm a little chubby, but I've been working on it and I'm like 6 lbs (3 kg) away from reaching my ideal weight. So that's something I'll fix, but in the moment it's still kinda annoying.
That's where the physical insecurities stop. I consider myself somewhat average to even maybe handsome when it comes to my face, just depends on the day. And I don't have problems like acne or crusty skin.
But now come some inconvenient circumstances that make feel more insecure in other areas.
One of them is my parents not wanting to accept my personal style, the way I wanna dress and have my hair cut, and it makes me feel so restricted and like I can't truly be myself. Which by the way is one of the things souring our relationship. While dressing and doing my hair the way they want me to makes them pleased, it also makes me feel opressed and disingenuous.
Another is that I don't really have my own proper room. I mean yeah, there is this room I sleep in and spend most of my time in, but it's less my room, and more just the only bedroom in our house.
So basically, this is my grandpa's fault. He had quite a huge amount of money but was greedy with it, so when he got our house constructed he only built one bedroom for all three of us (me, my mom and my dad). I slept with my parents 'til pretty late because of this, as I only started sleeping alone at the age of 9, when my parents moved to sleep on an extendable couch that becomes a bed, in the living room.
But yeah, the room I sleep is just a bed and a TV, with a closet with my parent's clothes in it, while my clothes are in a closet in the living room, the room my parents sleep in. Confusing, I know. But basically it was like it was never planned for me and my parents to sleep separately, which in turn caused the design of our house to be very inefficent and badly thought out.
I just want a desk in my room, you know? Something to put my PC on. It's currently in the living room.
Speaking of my PC, this one is partially my fault, but after having a potato PC since I was 3, I finally upgraded to a new one 2 years ago. My main goal was of course to run games smoothly. But, because I did improper research and my dumb ass thought the amount of RAM was more important than the video card when it comes to games, I got an expensive PC with a good motherboard and 32 GB of RAM, but with a shitty video card since I didn't focus on it. So yeah, there I was, new PC, but games running just as badly as on the old one because I was stupid.
I mean, even if would've had a good PC now, since it sits in the living room as I mentioned earlier I would have possibly been judged by my parents for the games I played on it, even if there was nothing inherently wrong with them.
And yeah I guess having some self-expressive posters and stickers in "my room" would've been nice too, but that's also not a possibility.
But at least somehow I guess my family got the bigger end of the stick. One of my mother's sisters (my aunt ofc), with her 2 daughters and her husband still have to live with my grandparents AND another one of my aunts and her husband, while another aunt lives in a cheap dirty apartment.
So my grandparents made a lot of money, but refuse to use it, therefore my family and my other direct relatives' families have to live in these flawed ways.
But yeah, I can't wait for us to rebuild our house eventually, so I can have my own proper bedroom and so can my parents.

4 My Lack of Productivity

Since I spend most of my time alone, in a room with only a bed, TV and a closet, I end up spending like 85% of my time on my phone.
Thing is, I have a few interests: drawing, animation, music, writing and photo/video editing. It's just that the combination of a lack of a proper personal space and minimal social interaction make me unable to motivate myself to actually pursue any of these interests or practice them as hobbies. I do doodle sometimes on my phone, but that's about as far as it goes. And I don't even at least consume content that would add to my culture, like watching movies/tv shows, reading books/comics or listening to albums. I just either mindlessly scroll through the same 3 social media apps or watch some meaningless video on YouTube, maybe even while snacking on junk food. Or maybe rub one out to porn after spending too much time picking the video.
Oh, have I mentioned that I'm also doing more poorly than ever when it comes to school and my academic endeavors? Oh, I didn't? Well, now I did. I'm not failing my classes, I'm just not putting in as much effort as I could, because it feels meaningless, but this is such a lazy approach.
So I do nothing good with my free time because of the frustration I have with other things in my life. At best maybe I'll hang out with my cousins.

5 My Overthinking Brain

Honestly, my mind might just be my biggest enemy. Pretty much any second I don't distract myself with my phone, my mind is going all out worrying about the most stupid shit. From cringing at that one thing I did years ago, to having existential crises over wondering what comes after death. From panicking about my future job and career to being overly curious to try drugs. My brain is active all the time, yet it chooses to keep on teasing me with problems I shouldn't even worry about. While I may come off as excessively negative in this rant, I actually am a rather optimistic person a good portion of the time, I just have this inconsistent mood, swinging between depressed and hopeful out of nowhere.
It makes me sometimes wish I was just dumber. So I wouldn't have to overthink anything and lose so much time and so many opportunities.
Basically my actual life is very underwhelming and boring while inside my mind I am constantly overwhelmed by the amount of possibilities and things in this world. Sometimes I even thought about suicide, but never actually considered doing it.
At this point I don't know if I may have some mental illness, and I don't know if I'll find out because if I'd tell my parents I want to see a therapist they'd either probably laugh at me or scold me then bring me to church or some shit.
So yeah. Through all these things that make me so unsatisfied with my life, I can't help but think I'm overreacting. Most of these things are pretty insignificant (I think) but there's so many of them it adds up and makes me want to just cry. But I can't. I'm emotionally numb.
And I'm tired. So tired. Physically and mentally (especially).
Just.. Just tired.
I'm tired.

(Any sentences or phrases wrapped with brackets "[ ]" are designated as inner monologue!)
Thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating this wonderful literary universe!
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Memory transcription subject: Lemva, Venlil Archeologist
Date [standardized human time]: July 13, 2165
The attendant, Harold, had told me that there would be another passenger boarding shortly several minutes ago, and since then I couldn't keep still wondering who I was going to meet.As I sat on the couch, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation that Harold had just started with the other passenger. As I heard a new voice respond to Harold’s greeting my heart started beating faster. Wait, the voice sounded familiar…
My heart rate quickened as footsteps came closer down the hallway.A man wearing a black suit and indigo tie came walking around the corner and my heart fluttered a little as I looked up at his face.
“Lemva?”
“James?” I squeaked as I said his name. I jumped up off the couch and ran toward him, throwing my arms around him and nearly knocking him over. “Lemva!”
Looking up at him, I realized what I had just done, backing off slightly embarrassed. “James! I haven’t seen you in so long, what have you been up to?”
“Looking into ancient history, studying declassified documents, bringing back ancient history, that sorta thing.” James kneeled slightly and looked at me with a wide smile, I’d missed that smile so much. He opened his mouth to speak. “I wasn’t expecting to see you on this flight. It’s very good to see you!” “It’s good to see you too! So you’re one of the others that the UN’s invitation spoke of.” “It seems that way, yeah.” He chuckled slightly.
“I see you two are getting along well! I don’t even have to introduce you.” I realized Harold had been standing there watching the interaction the whole time. I straightened myself out, even more embarrassed than before. Harold chuckled. “Alright you two, we’re going to be taking off shortly. I’ll be in the cabin along with the captain. If you need me, press these buttons.” He handed us both a device with a singular blue button labeled “call”.
The man turned around and headed through the door leading to the cockpit. Leaving us alone. We both sat on a couch. James spoke, “So, do you know anything about the job being offered?” “I was going to ask you the same thing.” “Hmm, well we’re going to be in for a long flight, may as well catch up on some things.”
Me and James had known each other since we attended MIK, and had a lot of history. We met in the college’s history club, and quickly became friends. We both had a passion for learning about things that most others had forgotten, and theorizing about what life was like in ancient times. He didn’t know it but I had a huge crush on him at the time.
We stayed in contact long after we both got our doctorates, despite the large distances between us. Eventually James suddenly stopped contacting me, I never understood why. I had worried that it was something I did, that I had pushed him away. Then, after a while, he faded from memory, only existing in the back of my mind. I needed to know why. But not now, this was too soon.
“I know I already asked what you’ve been up to since we last spoke, but still. Discovered anything new?”
“Yeah, I got my hands on some recently declassified Fed info and artifacts around 8 months back. Studied them and found out they were ancient Gojid pottery, inscriptions described some sort of fertility god? Found some other inscriptions describing the site of an ancient Gojid city on The Cradle and got in contact with a dig team to go search there. Hit the motherlode and-” He spoke so enthusiastically about his findings. Just seeing him so happy about his work made me bloom, but thankfully he didn’t notice as he kept talking, waving his hands to emphasize his words. “-trying to find a museum that has the room for all of them.”
“Wow, that’s a lot more than what I’ve been doing.” “Really? Lemva hasn’t done anything interesting lately? I find that hard to believe.” James took on an amused expression. “Yes, really. I’ve been on vacation with my family for a little while, that’s all. It had been a while since I’d seen them.”
I could see his smile visibly lessen, he shifted his eyes, seeming to be deep in thought. Had I said something wrong? “Hey, are you okay?” I asked. “Yeah, I’m fine. Your mention of family brought back some… memories.” A singular tear formed below his left eye, before he looked away. I didn’t want to push, despite his failed attempt at hiding his sadness. “Oh, we can change the subject if you want.”
He wiped his eyes and shuddered, before straightening himself out. “No, it’s ok. You should probably know anyway. It’s part of the reason I haven’t talked to you in so long.” I was hoping to get some answers but now I didn’t know if I wanted to if it was making him this upset.
“A- alright, go ahead. You can stop at any time if you want to.” “Before I start I want to say how sorry I am for ghosting you.” He closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply. A somber expression filled his face as he opened his eyes. “Okay. You know my parents right? Bill and Angene?” “Yeah?” “A couple years back, I was doing a small job for a little town on Nishtal. Not much pay but that didn’t matter. This was during the time when the anti-human movement was in full effect.”
My heart stopped, I immediately knew where this was going.
“I wasn’t worried for them cause they were on Earth. I thought they would be away from the violence because the rioters would be too scared to be among so many ‘predators.’” His voice dripped with malice as he spat out the last word. He was always treated… differently from other people. Even so long after the war, “predator” hate was still common. He kept speaking. “Clearly I was wrong, or maybe one of those fucking rioters hated us too much to care about their own safety.” I only now noticed that he had been shaking as he spoke, but he suddenly stopped. He looked defeated, on the verge of a breakdown. “They were just bringing home groceries, that’s all. They were friendly and happy and polite and all they were doing was bringing home some things for dinner. But because they had committed the SIN of being born with forward facing eyes everyone hated them.” “On the phone the next day, I was told that my parents had been stabbed to death when walking home. I had to attend their funeral several days later, and that night the police took me in to meet their murderer. It took every ounce of energy that I could muster to not turn their disgusting little face to orange mulch.”
If anyone else had looked at James’ face at that moment, they would have seen nothing but a rabid animal looking for something to rip apart, but I didn’t see that. I saw a man that just wanted his parents back, a man that wished the world didn’t hate him. James crumpled over and started sobbing violently, and without thinking I got up and gave him the biggest hug my small arms could allow. He wrapped his muscular arms around me and buried his head into my wool, his sobs shaking my whole body. I stroked the back of his head in an attempt to comfort him, and tried doing those shushing sounds that human mothers do to calm down their children but ended up making a strange sputtering sound instead. I heard the sounds of giggling interspersed with the sobbing, leading into a fit of coughing from James. He lifted his face from my shoulder and stared into my eyes, still dripping tears but starting to smile now. He rested his chin back on my shoulder, and I gladly let him.
“I’ve missed you Lemva, you have no idea just how much I’ve missed you. I’m so sorry I left so quickly, I’m so sorry.” “I’ve missed you too James, and you don’t need to apologize, I understand. Why don’t we go drink some water and get some sleep, okay?” The man on my shoulder croaked out a hoarse “Okay” before slowly pulling himself off of me. We both got up and walked into the kitchen to grab some water. James chugged down several glasses before he was satisfied. We made our way to our separate bedrooms before saying goodnight to each other and closing our doors. I pulled the warm blankets over myself and laid my head down, exhausted from the short but intense emotional interaction. As thoughts floated through my mind, I drifted off into a deep sleep.
<<>>
I awoke to a familiar sensation, it felt as if I was standing in a shallow pool of oil. My eyes were met with black for as far as the eye could see, a seemingly endless floor of tar, and a distant orb of light. This sight had become less eerie and more frustrating the more times I had seen it. [Not this again…] I had been having this dream nearly every night for the past 3 weeks, ever since I had received the invitation from the UN. It was always the same. Endless void, endless black oil, a light always seeming within reach but always too far to catch. I decided to play along with the dream and walk towards the light, the faster I go through with this charade the faster I can wake up and talk to James again. My footsteps echoed into infinity as I waded through the sticky oil, the sensation was awful. I stopped and thought for a moment. [Know what? Fuck it, might as well do something different this time.] I turned around and walked away from the orb of light that had been taunting me for 3 weeks straight. As I walked, I could feel the texture beneath my paws slowly change. I looked down to notice that the tar floor I had grown accustomed to was now an endless field of silver sand. My paws were still sticky from the tar and were now covered with sand, great. As I stared down at the ground beneath me, it slowly started glowing brighter and brighter until it hurt my eyes. It was reflecting something.
I looked up to try to find the source of the light and stared in shock at the sight before me, despite the pain in my eyes. I could not turn away. [By the creator…]
Filling the darkness above me was a white dwarf, its brilliance seeming to burn away the darkness surrounding it. Burning streams of plasma buffeted sand in the distance, leaving only glass. I could feel it watching me, judging me. The air around me swirled and roared, picking up fragments of glass and flinging it against my face as I stood in awe. Clouds of silver shards swirled forever around me, scraping away my wool and flesh but I did not move. I could not turn away. The star seemed to fall toward me. I could not turn away. Instantly, the fury of the wind around me calmed, dropping mountains of the glittering sand onto the ground. The sands whispered to me, filling my mind with a single message.
“Find us. We await.”
<<>>
Date [standardized human time]: July 15, 2165
I stood alongside James near the airlock, we were finally here. It had been two days since I and James had boarded the ship, and we were finally on an approach to Aafa’s spaceport. I felt excited theorizing what job the UN had for us, but couldn’t help but notice a feeling of dread in the back of my mind. Aafa was the capital of the Federation before the UN Coalition began their occupation, and as a result there would probably be more xenophobia on the streets. Hopefully we wouldn’t have to stick around long enough to see it.
“Attention passengers, we are now breaking through the atmosphere, brace yourself on a nearby hand-rail or other stationary object until further notice.”
Me and James grasped the hand-rails tightly as the ship jostled through the turbulent atmosphere, the surface outside the airlock view-port slowly grew larger and larger as we descended. A beautiful city came into view as the clouds’ obfuscation subsided. I had been to Aafa twice in my life before and every time I saw its grand cities I felt a sense of wonder. I could feel the ship level out and slow down, we were almost docked. I felt a small jolt as the landing gear gently touched down on the landing pad.
Harold’s voice came through the PA system. “Alright you two, we’ve landed. I’ll be with you shortly to show you to your escort group.” James and I looked at eachother, I could see a glint of worry in his eyes. Though whether he was worried about the reactions of Aafa’s inhabitants or worried about his first impressions with such important UN personnel, I could not tell.
I heard the cabin door open far behind us and heard Harold’s footsteps make their way toward the airlock where we stood in wait. He stepped past us and took a position at the airlock door.“Welcome to Aafa.” Harold pressed a button and the blast-door slid open with a pneumatic hiss. “Follow me.” We walked down the ramp and onto the hangar bay floor. As my eyes wandered around the large room I noticed how much better kept this spaceport, or at least this hangar, was than the port on Venlil Prime or Earth. Harold took us through a door and into the main hall for this level.
As we made our way to the nearest elevator a kolshian man walked toward us, his gait taking on a menacing feel as he drew closer. When he saw me he smirked. “You sure you wanna keep walking with these predators, little lady? You’d be a lot safer with me instead of them.” I was astounded by how blatant this man was with his opinions. I tried to respond calmly to the man but couldn’t hide my offense. “No thank you, I’m perfectly fine walking with these “predators” thank you. Speak your xenophobia to someone who cares to listen.” The kolshian’s smirk disappeared as he walked toward me faster. Harold’s arm shot out in front of me, blocking the man from getting any closer, the chipper smile he usually displayed was gone from his face. “Please leave sir, we have things to attend to.” The kolshian’s angry expression intensified. “I’m not taking orders from any damn predator.” I could see the man pulling out an object from behind his back. Before I could react, I heard a sickening crunch as Harold’s fist connected with the kolshian’s face, and the man tumbled to the ground. I heard a sound as the knife we were about to be stabbed with clattered to the ground, the tentacle he had been using to wield it clutching his bleeding face. Harold in a swift motion kicked away the knife and put the kolshian in a choke hold while a group of UN security officers rushed over. Two officers cuffed the bleeding kolshian and another walked up to Harold most likely to ask for an explanation.
Harold put back on his usual cheerful expression as he turned to speak to us.“You two head down to the first floor, your escort group and one of the other 2 invitees will be waiting in the main lobby, they should be pretty obvious to spot. I’ll catch up soon but I have to explain the situation with security.” I turned to look at James as we hurried to the elevator. I could tell he was angry, but he had a glint of satisfaction in his eyes, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little similar. James scrolled down the list of floors on the screen and selected the number 1. The Aafa spaceport was easily the largest structure I had ever seen, I guess there wasn’t enough room for 400 buttons. As the elevator descended, James spoke.
“Hey Lem, you ok?” “Yeah, my heart’s beating pretty fast though. Who knows what would have happened if Harold wasn’t with us.” “Yeah, did you see how fast he handled that? Guy must be a veteran or something.” The idea brought a question to the surface of my mind that I had been pondering since I first received my invitation. “Yeah… I’ve been wondering why we’ve been treated so well ever since we got aboard the ship. I mean, we’re just a couple historians, why spend so much on the ship and all the protection? What could this job possibly be?” As I spoke, James stared past the transparent wall of the elevator and into the city skyline, he seemed to be deep in thought. “Yeah I’ve been thinking about that too… I don’t think we’ll have to theorize for much longer though, just a short drive and we can ask whoever invited us.”
My attention was brought back to reality as a DING sounded from the doorway, indicating that we were at the ground floor. The doors slid open silently and revealed a veritable swarm of people walking through the main hallway loop, several people of different species squeezed into the elevator we were just in as we walked out. James and I followed the signage on the walls for several minutes and entered into the main lobby, where we could see a group of humans with a Gojid in the middle. The humans wore black suits and sunglasses, I could also barely make out earpieces and microphones hidden among their clothing. They reminded me of the secret agents in the human spy movies I enjoyed watching. They must be our escort group.
We approached the menacing humans and they turned to look at us. Before I could speak up I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Harold catching up with us. “Sorry for leaving you alone for a bit. I’ll talk with your escorts.” Harold walked up to the closest escort and flashed a badge at them, turning around once the mysterious man nodded. The escort spoke something into his earpiece but I couldn’t quite make it out. “Well, I’d best be going to sort out matters with the captain. I’ll meet up with you later.” Harold handed us off to the mysterious entourage and walked back into the crowd.
One of the bodyguards spoke up. “Follow me and don’t stray off course, we’ll be taking you to the senate building.” As our guards escorted us to our vehicle, I spoke to the gojid accompanying us. “Hi, my name is Lemva, this is James. Are you one of the other people invited by the UN?” The gojid spoke up in a soft voice. “Yeah, though for what reason I do not know why. My name is Cayek by the way, nice to meet you. Do you mind if we get some introductions out of the way before we arrive at the senate building?” James responded first and stretched out his arm for a handshake. It took a second for Cayek to reciprocate. “Sure! As Lemva told you, my name is James. I was born on Earth and currently live on Venlil Prime. I’m a historian and got my doctorate at MIK, where I met Lemva. We’ve known each other quite a while. I like coffee and hate the ocean.” “Oh cool, I attended there too! Got my doctorate in linguistics. When did you attend?” “Sent in an application in 2140, as soon as it opened. Got accepted around a month later.” “Nice, that was around when I joined too. We must not have crossed paths often. Though your face does seem vaguely familiar.” Cayek looked at me and I began speaking. “My name’s Lemva, though I already said that. I attended MIK with James. Went there to get a doctorate in archeology. Was born on Venlil Prime and I’ve moved too many times to count, but my latest home is on Earth.”
I noticed that we had reached our ride. Our vehicle was a black limousine, it looked slightly larger than others I had seen, perhaps it was armored? One of the guards escorting us, who I could only assume was the one in charge, opened the side door and we all crawled inside. Cayek, James, and I settled in our seats and the guard closed our doors before entering through a door closer to the front to sit facing us. The guard sat unnaturally still, staring directly at us as the vehicle drew out of the underground parking area, making me feel uneasy. I looked over at James and Cayek, they seemed just as uncomfortable as I. The ride to the Senate building was silent.
I watched the buildings glide past us as we drove down Main, toward the Capitol. The large dome shaped building grew larger as we crept closer. Nervousness invaded my mind as I wondered what the task we had been chosen for was. Why did the UN spend so much to get us here? What’s with all the security? Why us? We had reached our destination. The limousine passed through several security gates and slowed to a halt at the entrance of the grand building. The guard that had been staring at us spoke, “We’ve arrived, please exit the vehicle and follow me. As you enter the building you’ll undergo several security checks to make sure you don’t have any weapons or banned items. Don’t worry, this is all standard procedure.” Two guards who had been waiting to the side of the entrance walked over to the car and opened the side doors, allowing us to crawl out. Though it had only been a 5 minute car ride, it felt like I had been stuck in that cramped vehicle for hours.
We walked toward the entrance of the titanic building, a large podium with a hologram of the Coalition logo orbiting an artistic depiction of our sector of the galaxy stood just before the doors. The first time I had gone to Aafa as a child, the podium had supported a large statue of Chief Nikonus, the president of the Federation at the time of the war. Good riddance. Our group stepped past the threshold of the senate building and submitted for the security checks that our escort had told us about. As soon as we were cleared, we were led to one of several large doors, it looked like an oversized elevator. Inside was a holographic display of the building showing us our current position, along with a small keypad to the side. I braced myself for the elevator to start ascending as our escort input some numbers into the pad but nearly fell over when it unexpectedly started moving sideways. James chuckled amusedly and I looked at him with a mock pouty face, my tail flicking in slight annoyance. Our escort tried to wipe a tiny smirk off his face as he helped me back to my feet. “We had these installed after a couple instances of people passing out trying to navigate around. Most Coalition species don’t have the amount of endurance humans do and this building is quite large.”
Several moments later the tram came to a halt and the doors slid open. The escort chaperoned us down a short hallway with a decently sized wooden door at the end. I braced myself for whoever would be behind it. Impressions were of utmost importance when meeting government officials. However, I was not prepared for who I would see as the door swung open.
Is that an Arxur?
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(This is my first major post on NatureofPredators, any criticism or advice is welcome! I want to make my stories inviting and pleasant to read! Also, please notify me if you find any formatting errors, I'm not very familiar with Reddit's formatting.)

The other day I was at a drive thru with my aunt and had smelled propane very heavily. Didn’t think much of it and later go to sleep that night. In my dream I was in this school and my name was written all over on these signs with other words I can’t remember. But in my dream I ignored it I continued walking around the school looking for something.eventually end up in the class room with glass all around it and there are these cops. I said something and he became irritant saying things like we don’t do that here. I eventually getting around to ask why my names where on all these signs and I point at this huge sign on this wall. He starts laughing historically then walking out the glass room and comming back in with a torch that used propane fuel. I quickly started to smell that the room was filled with propane and I needed to get out so I run out the door and right as I look thru the glass everyone is alive on fire including himself. The flames where invisible and it was a vry scary moment, there’s a lot of things about this dream I don’t remember. But more than anything it’s stuck with me and it terrifies me I don’t know what the dream is trying to tell me