Rent-to own homes with low monthly payments

Hello, I am currently about to pay off my vehicle, which is the last debt that I know of (outstanding bills have not been arriving for a few months as I have paid them off). I'm a year and a half ahead on my vehicle (with a terrible 17.99% interest rate, I've paid between 10% -200% more every payment on the principal). I havent checked my credit score because "I can't get credit because I got sh*ty credit" (Rodney Carrington)
I've increased my gross pay from 35k to 85k over the last few years, (with the big bump a few months ago where I was able to hammer off debt) and have lowered costs by switching insurance and phone bills to new companies by paying in full for the year.
I currentlyrent. I could get a VA loan for a house 6 months ago but want to pay off everything first. (I have the $1,000 emergency fund) but was wondering what my best course of action is for my situation. (How much to save for emergency fund, down payment, inspections, etc....)
Thank you in advance!

Hello!
I'll try to keep this relatively short, but I always have a lot to say. This is a bit embarrassing to admit but I felt in my heart to share this today. I hope, to anyone out there struggling that this may help.
6 months ago I got my heart broken. I (22f) was dumped over text by my (at the time) boyfriend (21m) and I legitimately felt like I was dying. He gave me valid reasoning for ending it and I respect him for giving me closure. But it didn't change the fact that it hurt like a motherfucker. It felt like a punch to the gut, it felt like my life was ending. (I know this sounds a bit dramatic but I am an emotional gal with some serious attachment issues... we will get into that in a bit!). We had future plans, I believed that this person was perfect and that we would build a life together.
I did almost everything "wrong" during the breakup... begging, pleading, calling, texting, etc. I wouldn't (and felt like I couldn't) leave him alone. I so desperately wanted him to get back with me. I promised to change, I apologized, told him I would do anything and everything in the world to not lose him. I honestly felt like I could not live my life without this person. I couldn't eat for days, I couldn't sleep. I felt genuinely depressed.
He was very adamant in his decision to end things. Nothing I could say or do could convince him otherwise. He tried to pull the "let's be friends" card.... LOL NOPE!!! I couldn't do it. I felt so broken, and after the sadness came anger... HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?!?!?! Which led to me sending a massive 'fuck you I deserve better' text... (LOL cringe). And then I blocked him (also cringe and very immature of me). I thought maybe the whole 'out of sight out of mind' thing would work if he truly never wanted me back. I needed to move on.
(Please bear with me and you can cringe with me at all of the mistakes I made in this... its a lot)
After I blocked him I immediately jumped onto dating apps! (yay another bad decision). And I right away clicked with someone new and we started dating.... surprise. it didn't work out. My focus was taken by that new person while we were dating and so I genuinely thought I had gotten over my ex. (no honey you were just distracting yourself)
After things ended with the new person, I started thinking about my ex again (shocker - also this was about 3 months after he broke up with me). I felt really upset at myself for how I handled the breakup. So I decided to unblock him and send him a text. It was basically along the lines of "I'm sorry for the hurtful things I said to you and for how I reacted after you ended things".... plus a lot more lol. But I didn't ask for him back, I didn't even really have the intention of getting back with him at this point, nor did I think he would want to.
To my surprise, the message went through. And 5 minutes later he responded with a big paragraph. He said that he accepted my apology and he hoped that I was doing well... etc. We started then catching up. Few days go by and TO MY FREAKING SUPRISE he asks me if I want to give our relationship another shot (remember that he was the one who initially broke it off and I did everythingggg wrong during the breakup). I was honestly not hoping for this, not expecting it at all.
I was a little bit hesitant but I was honestly lonely so I was like... fuck it why not (very sad and I know... toxic behavior).
We start dating again (exactly what 6 months ago me wanted and wished so much for!). Communication is great, he is putting in so much effort and doing everything seemly right. But as some time passes, I start to feel off. I realize that I no longer feel a connection with this person. But wait... how can I feel this when I once thought this person was perfect and that I would do anything to have them in my life????
When we get broken up with our ego takes a massive hit, and we put the other person on a pedestal. YOUR MIND IS FUCKIN WITH YOU! I started to realize that this person wasn't perfect, they too had flaws and our relationship ended for a reason. I became extremely uncomfortable around him, didn't want to have sex, didn't want to be intimate, romantic, etc. I just overall didn't enjoy his company anymore and truth be told.... I didn't trust him anymore. So I ended it.
And here I am today.
I started therapy, started to learn about my attachment issues, started to spend time alone and holy moly I WAS SO STUPID!
I have very low self-esteem, I am very insecure. I realized that I have always felt the need to be in a relationship to be happy. I couldn't feel good about myself unless someone else was validating me and reassuring me. BOOM. WOAH. Yeah.... reality check!
Everything I was searching for in others, I need to do for myself. I can compliment myself, I can take myself out to eat, I can enjoy spending time with myself. I've learned that if I cannot feel ok by myself, I will never be satisfied in a relationship and I will push people away. AND I WILL ATTRACT THE WRONG PEOPLE! Confidence comes from within, and I had completely lost myself trying to be a version of what other people wanted me to be.
If you take the time to invest in yourself, you will never regret it. That doesn't mean that it will be easy, but in the long run it will help you immensely. Change is uncomfortable, trusting yourself and being vulnerable with yourself is VERY uncomfortable but you can do it. If I can do it, you absolutely can as well.
I still have a long ways to go. I still don't like being alone at times. I'm still upset at myself for my immature behavior. But every. single. day. I get 1% better, I'm more comfortable with myself, I forgive myself, and I know that future me will thank me for this.
Moral of the story... you probably don't actually want to get back with your ex. Take some time and breath. You will be ok and you can get through this.
“I am growing and learning to be comfortable with the amazing woman that I am. I am worthy of self love.” <3

12 days ago, we ran a 5 day poll to see if this community would like to change the existing rules on weaponised blocking.
If you haven't yet read that post then please do so if you're interested because it describes the pros and cons of the various rules that we could have implemented.
The results of that poll are now in and the results are as follows:
Results
As you can see, 147 people voted and options 2 and 3 were by far the most popular.
Option 3 (to keep things as they are) won out over option 2 by a very slim margin (60: 63).
What that means is that we will be keeping things as they are but in acknowledgement of the fact that the results were so close, we will also try and strike a compromise.
The new rule is that you cannot block other members of this subreddit unless there is a good reason (*good reasons defined below) because blocking unfairly inhibits the blocked person's ability to hold discussions within this subreddit. They cannot see or interact with posts made by the blocker (including all the people who comment on those posts) and this unfairly limits their ability to interact with others.
It used to be the case that the only good reasons for maintaining a block was if the blocker was being:

1. harassed
2. stalked

We will now add a third option to that:

• continued incivility (in recent history)

Continued incivility will be defined as examples of you being uncivil to them on at least 3 or more occasions continued over a period of 2 or more days in the last 6 months.

How you should proceed if you are blocked:

If you are being blocked by someone else and you don't want to be blocked by them and if you also feel that the blocker doesn't have one of these 3 reasons to justify blocking you then you can message us mods and we will intervene and try and see if we can persuade them to lift the block.

What you should expect to happen if we reach out to you for blocking someone else:

If we message any of you about lifting a block, you will be able to appeal by pointing out one of the three exceptions above.
If we do not agree that your appeal meets the standards set out above then we will require you to unblock that person.
If you still insist on keeping them blocked, we may issue a temporary 3 day warning suspension which will be terminated as soon as you have unblocked the person.
If at the end of 3 days you are still blocking them, our only recourse at that point will be to ban you and the ban will be lifted as soon as you have lifted the block.

What is and what is not continued incivility:

Incivility will be broadly defined as somebody else making it unpleasant for you to be here through personal attacks.
If you get into an argument with someone and it gets heated and they swear at you in a few comments, you can report that and we will remove offending comments and speak to the person being incivil. But that is not yet sufficient reason to justify blocking them. If this behaviour happens again with the same person and it is more than a day later then you may block them if you wish and if they appeal, you can cite continued incivility as your justification.
If it has been more than 6 months since the incident and they still wish to be unblocked, you will be expected to unblock them and give them another chance.
This 6 month cooling off period will not apply to stalkers or harassers. There will be no tolerance for that sort of behaviour.

What we will not do

We will not intervene if somebody does not ask us to. If you are blocking somebody and they don't care then that is fine with us. If two people are found to be mutually blocking each other and one of them wants us to take action on the other, they will need to lift their own block first.

TLDR;

The new rules are the same as the old rules but we are going to try and be a little more lenient on reasons people can give for wanting to maintain a block on someone else. Namely we are introducing the concept of continued incivility which means that somebody has been incivil to you on at least 3 occasions spanning over at least 2 days.

Look I'm gonna level with all of you, the reason nobody uses your "super secret tech" falls into a few different categories.

• 1.) The card is complete dogshit and you're absolutely delusional. Half the time these "secret techs" are cards that are literally objectively inferior to better cards people already don't run because they're not good enough. The other half the effect is just fucking trash on its own.
• 2.) It's a Trap card. Going first is easy, you can do literally whatever you want going first. Going second is hard. Trap cards suuuuck going second. Even the best traps in the game are useless going second. And let's be real, your "secret tech" probably isn't one of the best traps in the game. Otherwise people would be playing it already.
• 3.) It's too targeted. You could have a card that literally reads "If your opponent controls a 'Spright' monster, win the game" and it would still suck ass because there are other decks in the game. And precisely zero of the "secret techs" I've seen in the last month or so have even been anywhere close to that good.

You're not a genius. You're not even average. You lack the critical game theory and card knowledge required to properly evaluate a card in actual play scenarios. And for some of you, you lack the ability to properly evaluate a card in a VACUUM, which should be the easy part. A Trap that says "Reduce your opponent's monsters' levels by 1"? Really? That's your Spright tech? Not any of the cards proven to be effective against the deck going second (like Dark Ruler No More)? Some jank ass ultra-targeted Trap that does basically nothing even against the deck you're targeting?
Please, for the love of god, try to actually improve your deck in a meaningful way instead of searching for these silver bullets. I promise you that no matter how good you think your fucking Dark Magician deck is, it CAN be further refined to at least struggle less against the current meta without you torpedoing your own chances by diluting an already underperforming deck with shitty cards that don't do anything.
I IMPLORE you, for your own good, just focus on making your own strategy better and giving yourself the ability to play on the crackback. You will be much happier for it.

My heart hurts so much right now. I just want to go curl in a ball and die.
I got a haircut today, and was feeling cute and like “wow, taking care of yourself feels good, you need to do more of this, reclaim yourself, blah, blah, blah.”
Then, I pick our oldest up from preschool, and as we’re walking home, she says “eres una mamá gorda” (you’re a fat mom). I have no idea where the fuck it came from, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I work so hard to cultivate body neutrality in myself and our daughters, but we live in fucking Spain now, where my husband is from, and they are not only body obsessed here, but VOCAL about it. My mother-in-law is a world-class bitch and one of those people who thinks she’s better than everyone else for staying trim. I’m sure she’s talked about me being fat to my daughter, because she’s the type of person who will say “don’t eat too much of that or you’ll get fat”, etc.
I know I shouldn’t read so much into it, but I’m hurting right now, and I also know that by age 4 my daughter has already started to internalize messaging that fat people are worth less than skinny people. It makes me want to cry that on some level she’s already viewing me with disgust.
I hate the way we torture ourselves about our bodies. I hate the fact that I’m so conditioned to hate myself that I feel like I need to punish myself now by not eating, or going on a run. I know I need to lose some weight, and I want to, but so many of us know that it is really hard. My body fights against me every step of the way.
It just sucks to go from feeling pretty good about myself to feeling like a worthless slob in 30 seconds flat. I can’t even look at my beautiful daughter right now, I’m currently hiding in my room. My husband has no idea how to help.
I told her that those words hurt, and that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and none of them are good or bad. Now I guess it’s time for me to wipe away my tears and try and listen to my own words. Damn bromos, this one hurts.

And by total I mean I may need to reset many parts of my life. Obviously a throwaway account because I just need fresh advice. I'm in trouble with the state at this point and my family is miserable.
Homeschool as always been my dream. We did public schools for a number of years, and finally some years ago I went ahead and started homeschooling. But it was hard. I work full-time and a couple of years ago was widowed. With that all going on I was overwhelmed, so I went half-way and signed my kids up for one of the state online schools.
Fast forward, I'm still completely overwhelmed. Though the program can be done in a couple of hours each day (or theoretically can be done) I don't even have that. My older ones that can more or less fend for themselves are doing poorly enough on keeping up with projects, but my younger one can't read yet and has to wait for me to help her. I'm still working, and my horrible confession is that weeks at a time go by before I can find the time to sit down for schoolwork. We've tried school at night, but the kids get tired and grumpy. I tried to get my older kids to help with that, but that has been a disaster. My grandmother watches them while I'm at work, but the school stuff is more than she can handle.
I don't work crazy hours or anything, but after commuting, getting dinner on the table, and just wanting to get a chance to breathe, we are further behind than I realized. To the point my youngest has two months of assignmnets to catch up on. To the point we have received truancy letters from the school and a letter from the state.
My state is very homeschool friendly, so the kind suggestion when I was trying to hash this out with the school is to potentially go the full homeschool route. Sign the affidavit, take a breather, and go from there.
But clearly I've gotten in over my head. I couldn't even do a school-at-home program.
So, I've messed up. I'd rather not have any platitudes about any homeschool being better than public school. My first grader can't even recognize most of the alphabet. My older kids are lacking some foundational skills.
I need a reset. I get it. But I don't even know what that would look like at that point. Hire a "learning coach"? I'm not poor, but I don't know if I can afford that. Send them all to pubic school for a year while I try to get a work-from-home job? A way to try unschooling without feeling I'm just trying to squish it in where I can? Is there some rebalancing of home and life I'm missing out on here?

That’s the little voice in your mind after a major setback and defeat. 2022 I was under contract for 2 months and the seller chose to cancel the agreement due to not wanting to repair the property to FHA standards. A couple of weeks after that I went into another contract and towards the closing date I lost my pre approval because my credit dropped about 10 points. After thousands of dollars on appraisals and inspections etc. I was in a dark place and depressed. I was living with my GFs parents and dealing with other issues contingent on me finding a place. Dec 2022 I finally closed on a home a could afford. This truly was the house for me. But it wouldn’t of happened if I had not changed my thinking around and became solution based, so I figured it out. If you are at your wits end and reached this far reading this, I am your beacon of hope. I didn’t have tens of thousands in my account or a 800 fico score. Looking forward to your “I got the keys!” Post ❤️

I am a "Senior" Java developer, although I am quite Mid by common standards.A lot of my work was on bespoke Java projects. For example, I have no idea what Spring is or does :)(But I can rock your world in sockets and low-latency transaction stuff!)
A month ago, I got accepted to work for MasterCard UK - it's actually Vocalink.
The reason I am asking is that this will be a very serious investment on my side:- They are extremely badly organized. Not just incompetence but also indifference. "FU attitude" everywhere organizationally, although you do find many decent people who help each other on a 1-2-1 basis- Gonna have to study payment systems. We are talking 6 months before I can work on real tasks!- Further entrenching myself into Java, which I feel is losing steam... I am also a decent Python coder and I have interests to picking up TypeScript and/or Rust.I am also a cryptographer. So, I think I could be interesting for crypto-currency, cyber-security and similar projects- They just moved office and added 2 hours to my commute and they are thinking to actually call people to the office like "x days per week" (I just found 4 free hours per week for my hobbies which are now at risk)
They are doing well financially (because everything's so expensive so you spend more = more money goes through them) and are a market leader in some system types, as well as decent benefits and some "promise" of giving me time to study and develop myself.
But I am wondering if I am not better off grabbing some Whatever Inc. company and keep hopping between employers and kinda stay a jack of all trades?

Not sure if anyone is interested, but I’ll write out my experience with COVID as someone that’s been fully vaccinated and has had both boosters (bivalent booster was on 10/03/22). For the record, I’m still testing positive (now day 18).
3/03 - Slight sore throat starts Friday evening.
3/04 - Wake up early with daughter, feel extremely fatigued. Took a nap in the morning, woke up with a fever. Fever gets worse as the day goes on, major headache, chills, sweating, can’t leave the couch. Used an at home test and it comes back negative.
3/05 - Fever reaches high point Sunday morning (102.4). Still have a headache and some chills. Major fatigue. Oddly, I had no congestion, cough, or runny nose. Thought it was strep (lol). Fever broke late Sunday morning. Went to urgent care and tested positive, started Paxlovid that night.
3/06 - 3/11 - Paxlovid cleared up everything quickly. Finished Paxlovid on Thursday. Tested faintly positive until 3/11.
3/12 and 3/13 - Test negative. Feel fine. Lymph nodes still swollen though.
3/14 (evening) - Neck and upper back starts feeling tense, slight headache. Fatigue.
3/15 and 3/16 - Headaches on and off. Neck and upper back feel sore. Major fatigue.
3/17 - Runny nose starts Friday morning (me: wtf?) so I test again and it’s a DARK positive. Thankfully I work from home so I haven’t been around anyone. Runny nose quickly morphs into full on head cold symptoms. Feel terrible. No fever.
3/18 and 3/19 - Major congestion, sinus pressure, sneezing, runny nose, BAD headaches, fatigue.
3/20 - Congestion starts to clear. Runny nose mostly stops by the evening.
3/21 - All symptoms have mostly cleared. Still dealing with headaches. Ibuprofen helps.
3/22 (today) - I feel a ton better. Slight headache (but not the ones I’ve been dealing with this whole time). Still testing positive, but faintly.
So I got sick and then had a rebound. Oddly enough, my husband and daughter (10.5 months) have not caught it. My husband tests regularly and has tested negative this whole time (also fully vaxxed). My daughter isn’t vaccinated yet (we’ve had trouble finding a clinic that will do it for young babies). Hoping I start testing negative later this week 🥲.

Hello!
I'll try to keep this relatively short, but I always have a lot to say. This is a bit embarrassing to admit but I felt in my heart to share this today. I hope, to anyone out there struggling that this may help.
6 months ago I got my heart broken. I (22f) was dumped over text by my (at the time) boyfriend (21m) and I legitimately felt like I was dying. He gave me valid reasoning for ending it and I respect him for giving me closure. But it didn't change the fact that it hurt like a motherfucker. It felt like a punch to the gut, it felt like my life was ending. (I know this sounds a bit dramatic but I am an emotional gal with some serious attachment issues... we will get into that in a bit!). We had future plans, I believed that this person was perfect and that we would build a life together.
I did almost everything "wrong" during the breakup... begging, pleading, calling, texting, etc. I wouldn't (and felt like I couldn't) leave him alone. I so desperately wanted him to get back with me. I promised to change, I apologized, told him I would do anything and everything in the world to not lose him. I honestly felt like I could not live my life without this person. I couldn't eat for days, I couldn't sleep. I felt genuinely depressed.
He was very adamant in his decision to end things. Nothing I could say or do could convince him otherwise. He tried to pull the "let's be friends" card.... LOL NOPE!!! I couldn't do it. I felt so broken, and after the sadness came anger... HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME?!?!?! Which led to me sending a massive 'fuck you I deserve better' text... (LOL cringe). And then I blocked him (also cringe and very immature of me). I thought maybe the whole 'out of sight out of mind' thing would work if he truly never wanted me back. I needed to move on.
(Please bear with me and you can cringe with me at all of the mistakes I made in this... its a lot)
After I blocked him I immediately jumped onto dating apps! (yay another bad decision). And I right away clicked with someone new and we started dating.... surprise. it didn't work out. My focus was taken by that new person while we were dating and so I genuinely thought I had gotten over my ex. (no honey you were just distracting yourself)
After things ended with the new person, I started thinking about my ex again (shocker - also this was about 3 months after he broke up with me). I felt really upset at myself for how I handled the breakup. So I decided to unblock him and send him a text. It was basically along the lines of "I'm sorry for the hurtful things I said to you and for how I reacted after you ended things".... plus a lot more lol. But I didn't ask for him back, I didn't even really have the intention of getting back with him at this point, nor did I think he would want to.
To my surprise, the message went through. And 5 minutes later he responded with a big paragraph. He said that he accepted my apology and he hoped that I was doing well... etc. We started then catching up. Few days go by and TO MY FREAKING SUPRISE he asks me if I want to give our relationship another shot (remember that he was the one who initially broke it off and I did everythingggg wrong during the breakup). I was honestly not hoping for this, not expecting it at all.
I was a little bit hesitant but I was honestly lonely so I was like... fuck it why not (very sad and I know... toxic behavior).
We start dating again (exactly what 6 months ago me wanted and wished so much for!). Communication is great, he is putting in so much effort and doing everything seemly right. But as some time passes, I start to feel off. I realize that I no longer feel a connection with this person. But wait... how can I feel this when I once thought this person was perfect and that I would do anything to have them in my life????
When we get broken up with our ego takes a massive hit, and we put the other person on a pedestal. YOUR MIND IS FUCKIN WITH YOU! I started to realize that this person wasn't perfect, they too had flaws and our relationship ended for a reason. I became extremely uncomfortable around him, didn't want to have sex, didn't want to be intimate, romantic, etc. I just overall didn't enjoy his company anymore and truth be told.... I didn't trust him anymore. So I ended it.
And here I am today.
I started therapy, started to learn about my attachment issues, started to spend time alone and holy moly I WAS SO STUPID!
I have very low self-esteem, I am very insecure. I realized that I have always felt the need to be in a relationship to be happy. I couldn't feel good about myself unless someone else was validating me and reassuring me. BOOM. WOAH. Yeah.... reality check!
Everything I was searching for in others, I need to do for myself. I can compliment myself, I can take myself out to eat, I can enjoy spending time with myself. I've learned that if I cannot feel ok by myself, I will never be satisfied in a relationship and I will push people away. AND I WILL ATTRACT THE WRONG PEOPLE! Confidence comes from within, and I had completely lost myself trying to be a version of what other people wanted me to be.
If you take the time to invest in yourself, you will never regret it. That doesn't mean that it will be easy, but in the long run it will help you immensely. Change is uncomfortable, trusting yourself and being vulnerable with yourself is VERY uncomfortable but you can do it. If I can do it, you absolutely can as well.
I still have a long ways to go. I still don't like being alone at times. I'm still upset at myself for my immature behavior. But every. single. day. I get 1% better, I'm more comfortable with myself, I forgive myself, and I know that future me will thank me for this.
Moral of the story... you probably don't actually want to get back with your ex. Take some time and breath. You will be ok and you can get through this.
“I am growing and learning to be comfortable with the amazing woman that I am. I am worthy of self love.” <3

"...And during the few moments that we have left, we want to have just an off-the-cuff chat between you and me - us. We want to talk right down to earth in a language that everybody here can easily understand." When Malcolm X took the stand to address the Nation of Islam on banding together to fight against racial discrimination, he began his speech with this quote.
Nearly fifty years ago, a man named Harvey had realized he was gay, and felt deeply that there was a need for change. He was tired of the oppression he faced, he was tired of the system protecting assailants, he was tired of the discrimination. So he fought, and one day he got a call from a young man in Altoona, Pennsylvania. This young man had given up hope and he was prepared to take his own life, until he saw Harvey stand up.
That man was Harvey Milk. In 1975, he stood up to fight for the gay community. He was tired of being told you can't hold this job because you're gay, he was tired of the police turning blind eyes to the murders and beatings of young gay men, he was tired of gay people living in fear of speaking out against their oppressors, he was tired of the John Briggs and Anita Bryants of the world telling our children that they will burn in Hell for who they loved. But most importantly, he was tired of seeing his fellow gay brothers and sisters ending their own lives to escape this discrimination.
"You have to have hope," he said. "Because without hope not only the gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the Us'es will give up." He was speaking not just to the gay community, but all oppressed communities. Not only the gays and the seniors and the blacks, but the trans community. He wanted everyone to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that their cries for equality and equity were not going to go unanswered. As we face a wave of attacks both physical and legal, we too, need to have hope for our future. Hope is what drove Milk from the cold, dank depths of an unforgiving New York school to the hills of California to get justice for everyone before him, and to protect everyone who would come after him.
You have to have hope; the first openly gay man elected to a major office was Harvey Milk in 1978. In 1992, Althea Garrison was the first (closeted) transwoman to serve in a State Legislature. Claire Elizabeth Hall, elected in 2004 to Commissioner of Lincoln County, Oregon transitioned in 2018 during a term as Commissioner. Victoria Kolakowski became the first transgender person to be elected to Judge of a Superior Court in 2010. The first opnely transgender senator, Sarah McBride was elected to the Delaware State Senate in January, 2021, and while we've won in one state, we have forty-nine more to fight.
You, the person reading this now, you can run. Perhaps not today, perhaps not tomorrow, perhaps not even this decade. But you can run, and you can run, and you can run, together we can fill the City Halls and the State Assemblies and the Senate and the White House. Together we can strike down the destructive legislatures and finally pave the way for trans rights, for our rights, and finally enforce blanket protections for all trans people. "And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country."
You have to have hope even when the world seems hopeless. Hope that we will no longer wake up to find that more Briana Gheys and Eden Knights of the world have been killed by the actions of transphobic individuals and incompetent leaders; hope that families will no longer be torn apart by transphobia; that teenagers will no longer be subjected to the dysphoric hell of puberty in the wrong body, that we will no longer be told our right to pursue happiness is a mental disorder. You have to have hope that you will be free to be YOU.
You have to have hope. Hope for a tomorrow when your children's children can live without the fear of being oppressed for who they really are. Hope that together we will raise each other up from this embarrassingly low point in history. In the face of these attacks, LGBTQIA+ legislators in Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Michigan, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington have introduced refuge laws for trans children under attack. California has declared itself a sanctuary to the trans community. And while this is in no way a solution to all of our problems and it will not bring back our fallen martyrs that have had their lives stolen from them, but it is a sign of hope. It is a sign that there is a better tomorrow coming, it's a sign that we are seen and heard.
You have to have hope, because without hope, the teenagers who have been cut off from puberty blockers, the adults who have been told they're not old enough to take their HRT, the trans folks who are threatened on a daily basis with death or systematic oppression begin to question the future. They question if anything will ever improve. They begin to question if they can continue to live, our sisters, our brothers, our fathers and mothers, neighbors, doctors, teachers, our friends; the Us'es, begin to question if they can continue to go on, and often forget their fellow trans comrades are here for them.
You have to have hope. We are not alone, there's over one and a half million of us all over the US. YOU are not alone. You are cared for and loved, even if you were disowned you are loved by your trans siblings, we are no longer a community but a family. We're the graduating members of the Class of Fuck Off, We Made It; we will prevail in the face of adversity. We didn't start this fight, we inherited a war passed down from previous generations of trans people who refused to lay down and accept the discrimination, but in order to keep going, you have to have hope, please, don't lose it. "

Economics Explained: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkJlTKUaF3Q
I think a lot of people here generically call out the boomers, but many may not be truly informed on the absolute severity and impact the boomer generation has had in regards to various socioeconomic predicaments for younger generations.
It’s a long story of exploitation, hedonism, greed, and incompetency.
Where should we begin? How about when the boomers were becoming college age. Not many boomers (relative to Gen Xers and Millennials) graduated college — only about a quarter (25%), relative to about a third of Gen Xers, and 40% of Millenials. So surely their life styles must have been troubled in a very competitive job market and unable to find barely sufficient compensating jobs to pay for living expenses as someone without an education in today’s world, right? Not even close.
While Millenials will have to go over a decade of saving in order to just afford a down payment on a starter home (likely built over half a century ago), what was it like for the boomers? Well, let’s think about Boomer Bob. Boomer Bob wasn’t academically inclined. Boomer Bob, with an IQ 75 who barely passed grade school, was able to perform a job that afforded him a new house, new car, wife, and 2.5+ kids all in his early to mid-20s.
Let’s go back to college for a second, because that’s another important point. You know how Boomers like to act like they’re champions of capitalism and completely shunned socialism? Well yeah, that’s actually bullshit. They went full circle as a generation, voting in for socialist policies that gave tuition subsidies, when college was already 150%+ cheaper (yes, even when accounting for inflation) in that day and age. Then as they grew older, what did they do? They said fuck spending on educational expenses and how socialism is evil. The irony in this all? Boomers are literally the primary beneficiaries of the largest socialist program in the US today — primarily through Medicare and Social Security. Anytime a boomer talks to you about how socialism is bad, ask them if they’ve rescinded receiving benefits for SS and Medicare — if not, they’re a hypocrite.
There’s another caveat to this too. Boomers were not expected to go to college — perhaps only so for more upper class/upper middle class families. Competition to get into top colleges and college in general was far significantly lower. This trend is continuing today. Just look up a decent ranking university’s Class of 1999 accepted student profile. There’s a very high chance they wouldn’t have been accepted in the mid-2010s given the increased push for college degrees to be a necessity, which has driven up academic competition to the stratosphere.
Why is this relevant? Because guess which generation pushed for the notion that everyone needs to go to college that’s caused constant increased pressure in competition in academia (as well as higher educational costs)? Yep, it was the boomers.
Not only did they push for the notion, they are actively enforcing it despite the fact it wasn’t a requirement for their generation to do as such. How? Well, guess who runs the head of HR departments at basically all companies around you? Does the phrase ‘Bachelors required; Masters Preferred’ sound familiar? Well yep, that came from the boomers top-down enforcement. It doesn’t matter if the job is something you could have literally done with the intellect and work capacity you had as an 8th grader — YOU NEED a degree to do an entry level position that is not relevant to anything you learned in college.
Furthermore, let’s look at housing. We see boomers constantly talk about how Millenials and Gen Z are just lazy and that’s why they can’t afford a house. The reality? In 1980, the median price of houses was $65,000 — the median income at the time was $24,720.
Per 2021, it’s 430k (almost 7x as much) for the median price of house and $55,477 for the median income.
https://united-states.reaproject.org/analysis/comparative-trends-analysis/per_capita_personal_income/tools/0/0/
Speaking of saving, you know how boomers love to say they were so good at saving and are frugal? Well yeah, that’s another lie. The reality is they were horrible with managing finances and had a spend, spend, spend attitude towards everything. In fact, this is the very reason why a bunch of boomers who should have been retired by now haven’t. Despite living through a time of tremendous market and economic growth, they failed to even follow the most basic investing/saving principles for retirement — which if they had, they would have had a splendid, luxurious retirement to say the least.
There’s another caveat to this. With boomers not retiring, this causes a log jam in career progression and stagnates the career growth of everyone below them. This is part of the reason why many people have struggled with career and wage stagnation over the past 10-15 years.
There’s another aspect to this all too — one that goes beyond the socioeconomic implications, but even the cultural/spiritual zeitgeist of the nation and its values. What do I mean by this? It was the boomer generation that was the catalyst that catapulted the hyper-individualism we see today. The boomer generation pushed rugged individualism and hedonistic consumerism and materialism over community and family.
Perhaps the most selfish and catastrophic thing the boomers have done to society is there complete manipulation of the housing market, making it seen as a private asset to be traded on an open market, rather than a first-world essential necessity of shelter that should be accessible and affordable. You ever notice how boomers always go on and on about how they bought their first house out of high school, and that millenials and Gen Z can’t afford one because they are just lazy? Well yeah, that’s also something directly caused by the boomers. The boomers overwhelmingly have voted for restrictive, dubious zoning laws that have created artificial housing shortages that drive up the price of their housing in which they purchased for 200-400% less when they bought the house.
Another related caveat to this is boomers never really had to worry about homelessness to the degree younger people do nowadays. How so? Well due to high socioeconomic mobility and low housing/renting costs in their day, it didn’t really matter if you got laid off or fired. I remember reading a Redditor talk about his parents getting by simply being waiters/waitresses. So let’s say you had a fairly decent job and got laid off, you’re actually not shit out of luck, because income inequality/Gini coefficient variance was not nearly as high back then — so in reality, you really just needed to get another job to supplement the lost income. Why is this relevant? Well, in today’s world, if you’re a highly educated working professional, but something happens in your respective industry that causes it have a downturn — well, now you’re a bit shit out of luck, because you won’t be able to easily find another job in order to replace lost income, and circle back to the point of unaffordable housing and cost of living (doubly so if you live in a high cost of living city where many of these professionals reside).
Even for boomers who aren't complete out of touch, like NYU Professor Scott Galloway — it’s so easy for him to just tell Zoomers to just ‘do better’ and practically give the 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' advice. Meanwhile, he probably wouldn’t have even gotten accepted into UCLA for the accepted class of 2000, nor would he be able to land a role at a top investment banking financial institution with a 2.7 GPA from UCLA — yet he did in his age, which just goes to show you how truly out of touch he is with the level of inter-individual and aggregate of academic and professional competition there is nowadays relative to his generation.
I’ll end on one final point — just a little though experiment. Political polarization is at its absolute highest in modern history of the United States, yet what is the is one thing that both non-boomer conservatives and non-boomer liberals can agree upon?
It’s that the boomers overall have had a catastrophic impact on the future generations of this country.

Our babe will soon be starting at daycare at 6-months old but they can’t accommodate BLW. How should I go about this?
Option 1: send only breast milk to daycare and offer BLW 1-2x day at home? Since weekday hours with her are already so limited, is it okay to only do solids 1x/day on weekdays and more on weekends?
Option 2: send breast milk and purées to be spoon fed at daycare. Will our baby be confusedor develop a preference?
Option 3: other?

I (17f) was kicked out of my dads house back in March of 2021(I was 15 at the time). I was removed from my dads house because of the fact me and my stepmom didn’t get along and she told my dad that she wanted me out. I wasn’t a bad kid or anything, I was mainly quiet and observant. But when she would abuse me verbally, mentally and physically I would sometimes think of a plan for something lick revenge. She slapped me in first grade because I didn’t know how to put my scarf on the right way. When I was in the third grade she had my dad cut all my hair off because of the fact I played in my hair. After my dad took me to the barbershop my self confidence was basically gone. I didn’t think I was pretty and I looked like a boy. I was also bullied because of my hair and my name (my name is usually known as a boys name). My dad and mom were not married but they was in a committed relationship when my dad cheated on her. My aunt even told me that my father had the audacity to bring his mistress to my mom’s job just to pick me up. My mom was very much active in my life but because my dad had sole custody of me whatever he said went. My mom did her best to get me home, it was always my stepmom lying to cps and getting her kids to lie for her.I was living with my mom for a few months after my dad kicked me out when I sat my mother down and told her I wanted to move to be with my grandma. My mother allowed me to go because she could see that my mental health was decreasing and she wanted me to be happy. June of 2021 is when I made the big move to the new state. I didn’t tell my dad that I was moving all he knew is that I was goin to grandmas house. He believed that I was staying for the summer which is what I usually do. I believe in august my dad finally called me after about 5 or 6 months to ask when I was coming home. I told him I was never coming back to hometown and that led to a big argument over the phone. It was my dad, his mistress and her kids vs me. My dad was acting all clueless like he didn’t know what his wife was doing to me so I gave him the rundown. My mother had all the texts she received from my step mom and the pictures of the bruisers I had because of my stepmom and her kids. They was calling me all typed of names because I wouldn’t let them guilt trip me. I don’t remember the rest of the conversation but i remember that I hung up on him. Fast forward December of 2022 a month before my birthday, my dad called to tell me that his other kids missed me( I’m his only child them other kids not his🤣). Again he tried to guilt trip me and make me believe I was the bad person in this whole situation. I don’t remember what I said but I know I cussed him out and he called me and insane butch for talking to my dad like that. And oThat phone call blew up and many of my family are on my side. I don’t think I’m the asshole but I do sometimes feel guilty for how things turned out. Can I have some advice I’m open for suggestions even if I am an asshole I would still like advice. I will update when I can.

T3 free 2.7. Dr said people usually feel better when it’s around 3.5, and prescribed me .5g armour.
Took it first thing this morning on an empty stomach, along with my 70mg vyvanse (which I’ve been on for years). Waited almost an hour before eating. I’m so effing nauseated and kinda feels like my vyvanse hasn’t fully kicked in yet when it should have, which would be a big big problem for me.
Anyone been in a similar situation? Pro tips? Should I even try to fix this low t3 problem if I’m technically still within normal range? Symptoms that lead to blood work are lots of hair loss, dry and itchy skin, blurred vision, fatigue, hormones still out of whack 18 months postpartum, heavy AF and painful periods, hot flashes, etc.

Star Wars: Andor – Chapter I, The Reckoning (Changes)
Original Runtime: 2:57:32 MR Cut Runtime: 2:25:40 1920x804p h264 encoder AC3 5.1 Surround Sound Type: FanFix Tv to Film Released Now - Only on MR Discord, Invite link https://discord.gg/EBdQVXhDUh
Unpopular opinion but I couldn’t get through this series. It felt overly bloated and swayed way off track with subplots, to a point where it didn’t feel like a Cassian show at all. It was more like a Syril Karn eats Breakfast with his mother story which baffled me. This edit now focuses on Cassian’s story from the start, cuts out all the fluff and Syril almost completely, creating an incredibly emotional journey with our main protagonist. I may be biased but this is now some of my favorite Star Wars ever made, and that’s coming from someone who said they’d never bother with this series again. This is also now a linear movie trilogy instead of a series….
• Insert Fanedit warning
• Add a new Old Ben Kenobi trailer.
• Insert Intro MR logo
• Add “A Long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….”
• Open with first flashback scenes from Kenari. Using these flashback scenes at the start not only opens us up to a more interesting story but gives us background straight away for we become more invested in the characters. Especially why Cassian is looking for his sister.
• While the show says that Kenari is a lost language with translation, I felt the scenes had more weight by giving the kids subtitles, especially as we now hear Cassian's final words to his sister.
• Add Kenari Sister Subtitles “Kassa!”
• Add Kenari Sister Subtitles “There’s a ship…. Come look!”
• Add Kenari Girl Subtitles “Over there!”
• Add Kenari Cassian Subtitles “I can’t see it”
• Add Kenari Girl Subtitles “Hey, Hey! Over here! Over here!
• Add Kenari other Girl Subtitles “Stop it! Stop it!”
• Add Kenari Sister Subtitles “I’m scared.”
• Insert second flashback scene
• Fix audio transition to blend with scene
• Add Kenari Girl Subtitles “Here, you’ll need these.”
• Add Kenari Cassian Subtitles “You can’t come, You’re too young.”
• Add Kenari Sister Subtitles “But I want to”
• Add Kenari Cassian Subtitles “When you’re older…. I promise”
• Add Kenari other Girl Subtitles “You’ll need this.”
• Add Kenari tribe boy Subtitles “Don’t touch that! It’s not for you.”
• Add Kenari other Girl Subtitles “Hey! It’s everyone’s. Help yourself.”
• Add Kenari Girl Subtitles “We must all stick together.”
• Add Kenari other Girl Subtitles “Help yourself. Pass me my weapon.”
• Insert third flashback scene
• Fix audio transition to blend with scene
• Add Kenari Sister Subtitles “How long will you be gone?”
• Add Kenari Cassian Subtitles “As long as it takes. I’ll come back.”
• Insert forth flashback scene
• Fix audio transitions to blend with the scene and extend musical queue to build tension.
• Insert fifth flashback scene
• Fix audio transition to blend with scene
• Add Kenari other Girl Subtitles “Stay low, and quiet. Wait for my signal.”
• Insert sixth flashback scene
• Fix audio transition to blend with scene
• Add Kenari Cassian Subtitles “Give her space, she needs to breathe.”
• Add Kenari Girl Subtitles “She’s dying!”
• Insert seventh flashback scene
• Fix audio transition to blend with scene
• Insert eighth flashback scene
• Fix audio transition to blend with scene
• Rework audio to suit the scene of Cassian screaming with his back turned.
• Add Andor intro logo
• Add “Chapter I – The Reckoning”
• Fix audio transition leading into logo scene
• Speed up Cassian’s punch by 60%. While this is a nitpick, the punch seems very staged and took me out of the scene. Speeding it up gives it more weight and harder hit.
• Speed up punch sound but maintain pitch
• A whole lot of audio reworking as B enters Cassian’s place.
• Remove Cassian sleeping that would usually go into one of the flashback scenes already used in the intro.
• Shift around both Cassian and B’s dialogue to hide scene removal
• Remove Cassian hitting B. I thought this was unnecessary and change the relationship adding droid abuse to the scene
• Remove random B-roll of Gloves wall. It’s almost like the props team were so proud of their work that they had to slow down the pacing just to marvel at their work.
• Fix score transition to hide above cut scene.
• Remove the intro shot to Morlana One. This whole scene just felt like a huge exposition dump that went on forever!
• Remove Cassian walking into the front door of the garage.
• Remove Timm saying “She’s in the yard” again, this just slowed pacing.
• Add background noise to hide the transition edit above.
• Add transition cut where flashback scene used to be
• Remove the Syril Karn scene. I’ve removed this character from the entire edit from here as I feel he added no weight or direction to the main story.
• Trim down scene with Timm following Bix. This felt like it went on too long and him now losing her quicker shows she is smart.
• Remove shots of Timm looking felt and right and confused. Just having him look one way speeds this scene up and keeps a natural flow.
• Remove the Syril Karn scene. I don’t wanna see the inner workings of the empire fleshed out. Keeping them mysterious is the whole point of being on the dark side.
• Fix score transition leading into Yard scene
• Fix audio transition where flashback scene has been removed for intro.
• Remove outro credits for episode 1
• Remove intro credits for episode 2
• Flashback scene removed for intro
• Cut to the bell ringing dude.
• Remove motion tracked English screen translation. We’ve never seen this in Star Wars before and they literally translate it in the next scene. Fairly pointless, imo.
• Remove the bar scene between Cassian and Bix. We don’t really learn anything here and Timm seeing Cassian touch her arm shouldn’t be enough for him to snitch on Cassian.
• Remove the scene of Timm snitching on Cassian. The audience finding out who it was at this stage spoils any mystery moving forward. Now we find out when Cassian finds out who snitched.
• Remove the Syril Karn scene. Another pointless scene that ruins the mystery.
• Remove shot of Timm looking shady. This now gives the audience too big of a clue who snitched so removing this just shows that he is nervous about seeing Bix after his doubts.
• Remove the Syril Karn scene. More pointless dialogue that makes the show drag.
• Fix transition where flashback scene has been removed.
• Fix audio transition leading into Luthen intro
• Remove the second shot of the Bell tower guy. While he’s awesome, this scene felt oddly paced.
• Fix audio so bell sound now wakes Bix.
• Remove scene between Cassian and B getting com’s. This just feels a little unnecessary and drawn out. We don’t really learn much in this scene, it just feels like filler.
• Fix audio for Maarva shouting “B!”. removing the above scene now has the audience wondering where B is rather than already knowing.
• Fix audio transition to hide where another flashback scene has been removed
• Remove Syril Karn awkward speech scene. Just cut after the filing paperwork comment.
• Remove the transport scene with Luthen talking to old man. While I like this scene, it really draws you out of the suspense now building in this edit.
• Remove the dramatic walking shot of Cassian strutting through the yard. While this was cool for an episode outro, it doesn’t work here.
• Remove dramatic score
• Remove episode 2 outro credits
• Remove episode 3 intro credits
• Fix audio transition to hide remove flashback scene for intro.
• Remove score and Cassian scream from shipyard scene
• Add Spark, Welding and Electronic SFX to rebuild 5.1 audio in transition
• Remove Syril Karn awkward scene.
• Remove Syril Karn nervous looking scene.
• Fix music transition leading into the scene with B.
• Trim down Syril Karn nervous looking scenes. Why are we on him so much? Emotion feels oddly forced
• Fix audio transition on landing shot.
• Remove Luthen weapon detraction. While this is an awesome look at his weapon, it feels like an oddly placed scene and action.
• Cut to metal yard scene and fix audio transition
• Fix audio transition to hide flashback scene removal
• Remove Syril Karn asking how far? About a 10 minute walk. Random bit of information that drags out the scene.
• Fix audio transition leading into Cassian meeting Luthen.
• Remove Syril Karn shooting up the store and looking for a hiding place.
• Fix score transition into scene with B
• Remove Syril Karn looking awkward again
• Remove episode 3 outro credits
• Remove episode 4 intro credits
• Remove score intro music
• Cut straight to ship pan shot for a jump scare.
• Cut LotR type shot of Vel walking towards the ship
• Remove Vel saying “Obviously there’s something wrong?”
• Remove Luthen’s reply
• Remove Cassian walking out of ship, wide shot to help with transition scene after next cut.
• Remove Syril Karn being reprimanded and fired. His character isn’t important in this edit and no reason for this pointless storyline to continue moving forward.
• Fix score audio transition leading into mountain walk shot.
• Remove Vel saying “They won’t be back today.” No reason to stop the audience anxiety building up with another possible tie fighter flyby, plus I use a Tie sound to cover audio transition later.
• Cut back and forth with Cassian and Vel. Just cut to Cassian looking over his shoulder for the tie fighter.
• Some audio wizardry to remove Cassian and Vel’s dialogue
• Remove scene with Dedra, this is clearly just an episode recap scene put in to allow casual viewers to keep up.
• Fix score transition audio
• Remove Syril Karn going home to his mother. Seriously, Is this actually in a star wars show?
• Use Tie fighter sound for seamless transition
• Remove Vel saying “Ok?... Alright?” She’s a leader, people should act on her first word without question. Her being unsure at this point shows weakness.
• Remove scene between Dedra and Blevin. This back and forth to the empire just beaks any momentum building with our protagonists.
• Remove outro credits to episode 4
• Remove intro credits to episode 5
• Remove Syril Karn crying scene
• Remove Syril Karn having breakfast with his mother. Honestly, WTF am I watching here?
• Remove scene between Cassian and Arvel. While this is a good scene, removing this pushes that actual edit transitions narrative way harder.
• Remove Mon mothma scene with her stroppy daughter. I want to make her seem more innocent when it comes to the inappropriate proposal for her to marry.
• Cut to Cassian sitting by the fire. This edit now shows that Cassian has sat up all night learning his mission. Showing his dedication to the cause.
• Remove scene with Blevin looking for new office space. This felt like a very odd scene to having after camp.
• Remove Syril Karn eating with his mother again and talking about his uncle. Who cares? This completely pump the breaks on any suspense built up in the previous scenes. Such a pointless character.
• Fix score and add all the delay and reverb for a smooth transition.
• Remove scene with Arvel halfing a knife to Cassian and taking his krystal. Fairly pointless scene that slows down pacing and leads nowhere.
• Fix audio score leading into Mon Mothma scene. Keeping tension high by cutting to this shot.
• Remove another pointless Syril Karn scene.
• Fix score audio transition
• Add Movies Remastered outro credit text. • Add MR logo to end credits. • Add MR Disney Saber logo to end credits.

I've researched heavily all of the various reddit forums about this and finally feel the desire to post about it to get people's thoughts. My former partner and I broke up six months ago because we just couldn't agree on the "hypothetical" number of kids. My former partner is one of those woman who has dreamed of being a mother and having kids her whole life and she is going to be an absolutely incredible mother. I have never wanted kids and even after being in relationship with her for a year I was still unsure. However, I realized how incredible our bond was and loved her with all of my heart and told her I was open to one. She was over the moon and as time went by my "open to one" changed to I am completely, joyfully all in for one; i.e., I enthusiastically wanted to have a kid with her, not for the sake of the relationship, but out of an inborn desire myself. It was amazing.
Well, two years into our relationship it became clear to her she couldn't just settle on one. She would certainly want another. We discussed for another year and after years of these "kids" discussions (counting from the beginning, three years total) we respectfully, tenderly, and lovingly decided we had to break up.
Now, for the advice. We recently reconnected (it's been six months since breaking up with scattered conversations and one beautiful visit together throughout that time) and discussed getting back together. I asked her, "If, hypothetically, I was open to two kids, but absolutely clear I would not want more than three, would you be in?" She was delighted at the prospect of two kids, but ultimately said that even though she might not even have more than two, she cannot marry someone and commit if there is a limit on the number of kids. She just can't imagine having that limit in place before we even have kids. I'm still unsure about two and only recently became clear that one was exciting. I can foresee a wonderful future as a one and done family, but it's really, really hard to imagine two and get excited. I just really can't guarantee I want that and sure, I could probably do it out of love, and would love the second with all my heart, but sometimes it feels like I'd be betraying myself and wonder if it really makes sense for my life.
Do we have any chance at all? Do we need to just let go and finally move on? It's so hard to imagine to us both because we are best friends, pure respect and trust. Is one of us being stubborn? I mean we don't even have kids yet, is it silly to be having these discussions? Most of me, and her, seem to realize it is wise to stick to our own paths, but we do wonder if were making it more complicated than it is.
By the way, we're both starting grad school and know a kid is at least 2.5 years out...

I originally made this account to try to get some information to help a loved one and slowly as I've become lonely over the past few months I've been using it to try to connect and meet people. I'm in my 20s mostly work remotely, don't drink, am deathly allergic to smoke, out of college, voulenteer but virtually and the people my age in my group live in CA, and I have a sever auto immune so when I go out it's with reason and intent and double masked gloved you name it. I am pretty lonely besides my partner and occasionally my parents I have not really seen anyone at all this year and my partner tries to get me to join his online game nights but sometimes I lay here saying do I really need his friends I mean I know them I love them but why can't I have friends of my own.
I commented on a band I loved subreddit last night explaining an experience I had my freshman year about a paper I wrote that I got an A on but now it haunts me for life when you look me up it comes up and I've had experiences at my last job where a few days in it was discovered and I was referred to as a reference from the paper from that point through the rest of my career there. It is my nightmare but I am terrified to ask the school to remove it and I do not want affiliation further with any personel from the school. Point is though OP didn't do well even though they tried hard and I wanted to say it's a gamble sometimes you do not try hard and you do really well sometimes you max effort and they fail you and at that point the best thing to do is go to your professor and have a discussion they might become aware of your efforts and bump your grad eip or give you advice for your next papers. You never know.
I kept my story vauge until this morning I woke up to a DM from an account with my full legal name, former legal name, and address. I didn't open the message because I'm terrified but do I have to delete my account now? What do I do? I deleted the comments and information they could have used to find my papeme.

So last week after 4 months of super Low Contact, I received a text from my bipolar BPD ex-wife , “ do you still have that old fire-pit in the yard; if you’re not using it may I have it”? First of all I’m not using it, second it is useless and rusted a cheap one that she got at work.
Now for what I did and what happened.
Just that morning, I saw her ad on a dating site and the first reaction was heartache . I took a second, let it all sit there in my chest and began to process. I was hurt , everything she posted was from my perspective, what we had ; at least until she discarded me and then the untold punishment to make me run, began. Unfortunately or fortunately depends how you view it I didn’t run. The good part was I kept my home the bad part was the toxicity we lived through.
So when she asked for the fire-pit , it just tweaked me. I called up the local store and bought one to be delivered to her that day. I was thinking that her and the kids would see it every time they used it and in some small way I wouldn’t be gone. I know a little childish , but I didn’t share my thoughts with her. She replied “you didn’t have to do that “ I said, “ I understand that” and left it alone.
I expected to be done , later in the day she texted me thank you and said she can’t move it. I said , I’ll stop by at some point and take care of it. It was a good reason to see my step daughter and my dog.
So I get there and move the fire pit , a 10 minute chore turned into a 3 hour let’s have some wine and watch the basketball game. During the game , we talked a little bit about our regrets and she apologized for being judgmental about misinterpreting my communication vs what I meant (during our marriage) . She admitted to not being a good communicator. I admitted to over trying to be understood. She said she wanted to see our dogs that she left with me (2) and the next morning she will come over and give them a bath with me. The next morning she texted to tell me her arrival time and kept being courteous. We washed the dogs, she picked up my step daughter and I made lunch for all of us. At the end of the visit , she gave me a hug goodbye and my step daughter said finally. Lol .
The next day I asked her if she felt like company and she expressed the desire to stay home with her daughter and relax and she hoped I understood. I said, goodnight perhaps another time and she said . Will do.
I know we discuss here about BPD Hoovering and this doesn’t seem to be exactly that, no one of said, that we love each other or we miss each other. It was just like testing the water to see if we can be relaxed with one another, and micro apologies.
I’m sure I’m deluding myself and I’m trying to be mindful with letting go of what I think it could be in the future , just staying in the moment. Part of me feels she wants me around just in case and part of me, Feels like she’s in the loop again, and not knowing what to do .
What are your thoughts? Don’t say run, cause I do think that’s what I should be doing but I do love her and the children and I’m slightly ruminating.

"...And during the few moments that we have left, we want to have just an off-the-cuff chat between you and me - us. We want to talk right down to earth in a language that everybody here can easily understand." When Malcolm X took the stand to address the Nation of Islam on banding together to fight against racial discrimination, he began his speech with this quote.
Nearly fifty years ago, a man named Harvey had realized he was gay, and felt deeply that there was a need for change. He was tired of the oppression he faced, he was tired of the system protecting assailants, he was tired of the discrimination. So he fought, and one day he got a call from a young man in Altoona, Pennsylvania. This young man had given up hope and he was prepared to take his own life, until he saw Harvey stand up.
That man was Harvey Milk. In 1975, he stood up to fight for the gay community. He was tired of being told you can't hold this job because you're gay, he was tired of the police turning blind eyes to the murders and beatings of young gay men, he was tired of gay people living in fear of speaking out against their oppressors, he was tired of the John Briggs and Anita Bryants of the world telling our children that they will burn in Hell for who they loved. But most importantly, he was tired of seeing his fellow gay brothers and sisters ending their own lives to escape this discrimination.
"You have to have hope," he said. "Because without hope not only the gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the Us'es will give up." He was speaking not just to the gay community, but all oppressed communities. Not only the gays and the seniors and the blacks, but the trans community. He wanted everyone to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that their cries for equality and equity were not going to go unanswered. As we face a wave of attacks both physical and legal, we too, need to have hope for our future. Hope is what drove Milk from the cold, dank depths of an unforgiving New York school to the hills of California to get justice for everyone before him, and to protect everyone who would come after him.
You have to have hope; the first openly gay man elected to a major office was Harvey Milk in 1978. In 1992, Althea Garrison was the first (closeted) transwoman to serve in a State Legislature. Claire Elizabeth Hall, elected in 2004 to Commissioner of Lincoln County, Oregon transitioned in 2018 during a term as Commissioner. Victoria Kolakowski became the first transgender person to be elected to Judge of a Superior Court in 2010. The first opnely transgender senator, Sarah McBride was elected to the Delaware State Senate in January, 2021, and while we've won in one state, we have forty-nine more to fight.
You, the person reading this now, you can run. Perhaps not today, perhaps not tomorrow, perhaps not even this decade. But you can run, and you can run, and you can run, together we can fill the City Halls and the State Assemblies and the Senate and the White House. Together we can strike down the destructive legislatures and finally pave the way for trans rights, for our rights, and finally enforce blanket protections for all trans people. "And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country."
You have to have hope even when the world seems hopeless. Hope that we will no longer wake up to find that more Briana Gheys and Eden Knights of the world have been killed by the actions of transphobic individuals and incompetent leaders; hope that families will no longer be torn apart by transphobia; that teenagers will no longer be subjected to the dysphoric hell of puberty in the wrong body, that we will no longer be told our right to pursue happiness is a mental disorder. You have to have hope that you will be free to be YOU.
You have to have hope. Hope for a tomorrow when your children's children can live without the fear of being oppressed for who they really are. Hope that together we will raise each other up from this embarrassingly low point in history. In the face of these attacks, LGBTQIA+ legislators in Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Michigan, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington have introduced refuge laws for trans children under attack. California has declared itself a sanctuary to the trans community. And while this is in no way a solution to all of our problems and it will not bring back our fallen martyrs that have had their lives stolen from them, but it is a sign of hope. It is a sign that there is a better tomorrow coming, it's a sign that we are seen and heard.
You have to have hope, because without hope, the teenagers who have been cut off from puberty blockers, the adults who have been told they're not old enough to take their HRT, the trans folks who are threatened on a daily basis with death or systematic oppression begin to question the future. They question if anything will ever improve. They begin to question if they can continue to live, our sisters, our brothers, our fathers and mothers, neighbors, doctors, teachers, our friends; the Us'es, begin to question if they can continue to go on, and often forget their fellow trans comrades are here for them.
You have to have hope. We are not alone, there's over one and a half million of us all over the US. YOU are not alone. You are cared for and loved, even if you were disowned you are loved by your trans siblings, we are no longer a community but a family. We're the graduating members of the Class of Fuck Off, We Made It; we will prevail in the face of adversity. We didn't start this fight, we inherited a war passed down from previous generations of trans people who refused to lay down and accept the discrimination, but in order to keep going, you have to have hope, please, don't lose it. "